Giant Gourami are freshwater fish originating from Indonesia, India and Malaysia. They are found in the stagnant waters including slow moving canals. Here are some interesting facts about Giant Gouramis in case if you wish to keep them –

1. The name suggests about their size. They can grow very large, up to 24 inches. If you provide them good living conditions, they can grow even larger! There are some limitations while keeping them because of their size. The aquarium or preferably the pond in which you keep them should be sufficiently large, taking into consideration their growth. As they would like to swim around and play all the time, they should be kept in smaller numbers.

2. Fully grown up Giant Gourami will have a hump above their eyes. A grown up male will have a rounded face. This is an important indication while selecting your Giant Gouramis from the pet fish shop. Another important thing about them is – they prefer to stay in still water. So there should not be any currents of water in your tank or pond.

3. The color of their body is yellow and there will be blue stripes over the whole body.

4. They are capable of breathing directly from the air. So they can survive out of the water for a long time.

5. They are big and so their appetite. They can eat a lot of food including both vegetables and meat. They can eat many types of food like bread, boiled vegetables and potatoes. They will also feast on brine shrimp and blood-worms.

6. Some fish keepers have experimented in many ways for feeding Giant Gouramis. They can eat even the tomatoes, fruits and partly cooked fibrous vegetables. Over a period of time, they develop taste for such foods.

7. By and large, they are peaceful by nature. The young ones will fight among them, but that is normal for all species of fish. When they are grown up, they will become calm and quiet and will live well with other species in the same aquarium.

8. While keeping them in a community tank, you should select their company carefully. If you keep some species of small fish, they may even eat those in fun! So you should select carefully the combination of species of fish which you would like to keep along with Giant Gouramis.

9. The breeding of Giant Gouramis is difficult. This is because of their size. If you feed them well with good food and keep the conditions of water appropriate, there is a chance of successful breeding. Before the breeding begins, it is advisable to keep the male and the female separately. The breeding should take place in a separate tank where the pair should be introduced when they are ready for spawning. Within a week they will start spawning and the eggs will start floating over the surface of the water.

10. The males will build bubble nests before the spawning. However, they can use the nests built by other males for spawning purposes.

11. The new ones will come out within about one or two days. For successful hatching, the breeding tank should be kept in the dark place. The females should be immediately removed after laying eggs. This is because the male will guard the eggs and will attack the females to protect the eggs.

12. As the species is huge in size, it is used as food in many parts of Asia. In many places, they are dried and preserved for a long time. As their appetite is very big, they are also used for controlling weed in ponds and lakes.

Many adult children are called upon to help their aging parents as life changes set in, yet only 65 percent of siblings report talking about money with one another, according to research by Ameriprise Financial. While only 15 percent of siblings have conflicts over money, when siblings do spar over finances, it’s usually about their parents’ situation. Financial conversations between siblings become inevitable, as brothers and sisters manage their parents’ money matters, including estate planning, healthcare, retirement income and wills.

In the event that you have shared responsibilities with your siblings down the road, it’s important to make sure your family is on the same page. Here are some tips to help you and your siblings have civil conversations about money-related family matters.

Set aside your differences. When your parents need help, don’t waste your time re-hashing old family feuds. Keep yourself in check if you are tempted to fall into old patterns of behavior that may alienate grown-up siblings. You may not be able to control how your siblings behave, but you can control your own actions.

Determine key priorities. You’ll accomplish more – and potentially spar less – when everyone is committed to common goals. Assess what financial matters you and your siblings will need to manage together. If your parents’ safety is a primary concern, find agreement about the support and services they need to remain safely in the family home. If it’s time for your parents to move to an assisted living facility, put your energy into seeking a solution.

Schedule time to talk. Schedule regular check-ins with your siblings to discuss pressing topics related to your parents’ care, including how finances are being managed. Frequent conversations can help diminish anxiety and improve collaboration. Ongoing dialogue will help prevent misunderstandings from blowing up into full-fledged battles and help keep your parents’ best interest top-of-mind.

Divide and conquer. It’s important to set responsibilities, with the understanding that each sibling may be able to contribute different amounts of time, money and expertise. Be forthright about what you can reasonably handle and open to taking on more tasks if you have the capacity. Keep in mind that responsibilities may shift over time, as circumstances change for you and your siblings.

Be open to advice. Bringing outside sources into your inner circle can help provide unbiased guidance as you enter this new phase of life. Your parents’ tax preparer, financial planner and other trusted advisors could provide an important bridge to understanding their current financial situation. Once you’re ready to plan the next steps for your family, consider working with a single financial advisor. This approach allows the advisor to help you create a comprehensive plan that addresses everyone’s needs and concerns.

Money conversations can be emotional and hard to initiate, but keep in mind that there are benefits to having open communication. Families who are willing to tackle money-related topics are often more confident about their ability to handle financial challenges and work toward their goals.

Qedem J. Nesher is the author of the book Elemental School. Elemental School is a story before our earth was made, even the entire universe. So it must be a different universe and ‘Elemental School’ is additionally in the spot we’ve never experienced. So you can figure out how to include in this school from understanding this. You can likewise understand that this other world is firmly associated with our reality. That is the key. We could be there, and we will be there.

In the event that you need to figure out how to make the earth, what would it be advisable for you to learn in school? For sure on the off chance that you must be one of the individuals who make this entire universe?

At that point, you should learn at Elemental School in this story and learn one basic expertise.

Search for the Best Young Adult Fantasy Books

Searching for the Best Young Adult Fantasy Books? We have all the best ones right here. Let’s face it, books are fun, yet arrangements are shockingly better! On the off chance that you are an enthusiast of youthful grown-up fantasy arrangement, you will become mixed up in this post.

Now and again we need a departure from the real world, and these youthful grown-up fantasy books are our pass to the universes past even our own (extremely dynamic) minds. Peruse these Best Young Adult Fantasy Books that will whisk you away from your regular day to day existence and bring you stories loaded with experience, sentiment, and-maybe in particular of all-enchantment.

Find the Best Young Adult Fantasy Book Online

Life can be too occupied to even consider spending hours searching for a book. In case you’re a high school searching for a book that is audacious and energizing and creative, at that point we can’t suggest fantasy and sci-fi enough. Solid and fearless characters that investigate the most stunning grounds believable; prohibited sentiments that merit gambling everything for; mysterious forces and animals that can assist you with breaking liberated from your regular day to day existence; these accounts cause the difficulty to feel conceivable and push the limits of our general surroundings.

Peruse so anyone might hear a popular elementary school book is an incredible method to encourage class conversations, urge understudies to feel great sharing, and help you and your understudies build-up which esteems will characterize your class’ personality.

In the discussion of father-daughter and brother-sister incest, we need to appreciate that the preceding observations on mother-son incest are exceptional; that is, a special psychobiological bond exists between mother and child in the juvenilized human species which imbues mother-child relationship with peculiar extra-dimensional features.

Father-daughter incest is by far the most common form of incest in society. We may exclude the disproportionately large incidence of stepfather-stepdaughter incest in the statistics (an estimated 50-75% of reported cases). The relatively high incidence of father-daughter incest is understandable in male dominated society and explains the fact that in most cases the male parent coerces his daughter into the relationship. The Westermarck effect also correctly predicts that in most cases the father and daughter have lived apart from each other for a significant period of their lives. Statistical data shows that fathers who sexually abused their daughters, on the average, spent less time with them than other fathers when the daughter was growing up. Similar statistics suggest that stepfathers who had been with their stepdaughters most of their childhood tend less to abuse them after sexual maturity.

Brother-sister incest is less common than father-daughter incest, but may well tend to be less frequently reported than father-daughter incest. The Westermarck effect is most clearly demonstrated in the tendency of brothers and sisters to avoid sexual relationships; and once again it would appear that the effect is most pronounced with siblings who grow up together. The Israeli kibbutzim of the early twentieth century demonstrated the fact that the key de-sexualizing factor in brother-sister relationship is the fact of an early childhood experience of growing up together. It is reported that in parts of Lebanon, paternal cousins grow up together like siblings but often come under pressure to marry. They are however reported to usually have little sexual interest in each other. It is also reported that in China, parents who adopted a bride for their sons in early childhood and had the children grow up together have trouble convincing them to marry when they are old enough.

Proponents of the Westermarck effect enjoy pointing out that the best known incest offender of all time, Oedipus, had also not grown up under his mother’s care.

Focusing thinking and behavior around someone else is a sign of codependency. We react to something external, rather than our own internal cues. Addicts are codependent, too. Their lives revolve around their addiction – be it food, work, drugs, or sex.

Codependency derived from the term “co-alcoholic,” originating in studies of family members of substance abusers who interfered with recovery by enabling.

Family therapists found that their codependent behavior developed in their childhood growing up in a dysfunctional family. In the 40s, German psychoanalyst and humanist Karen Horney wrote about neurotic behavior caused by self-alienation. She described personality types that fit codependency and believed that they resulted from faulty parenting and the “tyranny of the shoulds.”

The 12-step program Codependents Anonymous (CoDA) was founded in 1986 by Ken and Mary, two therapists who had grown up in abusive families.

Definitions

Codependency is considered a disorder in the American Psychiatric Association, due to lack of consensus on a definition and empirical research. However, the Diagnostic Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders does list a dependent personality disorder, described as someone more passive, submissive, and dependent than most codependents. In 1989, experts at a National Conference arrived at a suggested definition: “A pattern of painful dependency on compulsive behaviors and on approval from others in an attempt to find safety, self-worth and identity.” Other definitions by experts in the field include:

* Melody Beattie: Allowing another person’s behavior to affect him or her and obsessing

about controlling that person’s behavior.

* Earnie Larsen: A diminished capacity to initiate, or participate in, loving relationships.

* Robert Subby: Resulting from prolonged exposure to oppressive rules.

* John Bradshaw & Pia Melody: A symptom of abandonment – a loss of ones inner reality and an addiction to outer reality.

* Sharon Wegscheider-Cruse: A brain disorder that leads codependents to seek the relief of soothing brain chemicals, which are released through compulsive behaviors, including addiction to work, substances, gambling, food, sex, and/or relationships.

* Charles Whitfield: A disease of a lost selfhood.

Beattie’s and Larsen’s definition centers on relationship behavior. I agree with Bradshaw, Melody, and Whitfield that codependency resides in us whether or not we’re in a relationship. I also agree with Wegscheider-Cruse that addicts are codependent and that relief is sought through substances, processes, and people. However, unlike Cruse, I believe codependency is learned behavior that’s trans-generational. Other influences are cultural and religious biases. Although research shows that some teens had brain abnormalities even before they became drug addicts, their twins did not become addicted, so the full impact of genetic and organic causes is still unclear, particularly in view of the brain’s plasticity in adolescence.

Core Feelings and Behavior

Codependent feelings and behavior vary in degree on a continuum. Like a disease and addiction, if untreated symptoms become compulsive and worsen in stages over time.

Core feelings include:

Core Behaviors include:

Core feelings and behaviors create other problems, such as, people-pleasing, self-doubt, mistrust, perfectionism, high-reactivity, enabling, and obsessions. Codependents are usually more attuned to other people’s needs and feelings than their own. To quell anxiety about rejection, they try to accommodate others, while ignoring their own needs, wants, and feelings. As a result, they tend to lose their autonomy, particularly in intimate relationships. Over time, their self-worth declines due to self-alienation and/or allowing others to devalue them.

Codependents have varied personalities, and symptoms differ in type and severity among them. They also have diverse attachment styles. Not all are caretakers or are even in a relationship. Some seek closeness, while others avoid it. Some are addicts, bullies, selfish, and needy, or may appear independent and confident, but they attempt to control, or are controlled by, a personal relationship or their addiction. Sometimes that relationship is with an addict or narcissist. A relationship that is one-sided or marked by addiction or abuse is a sign of codependency. But not all codependent relationships are one-sided or abusive.

Recovery

Untreated codependency can lead to severe anxiety, depression, and health problems. There is help for recovery and change. Recovery goes through stages that normalize codependent symptoms. The goal of recovery is to be a fully functioning adult who is:

Become informed. Get guidance and support. Codependent patterns are deeply ingrained habits and difficult to identify and change on your own. It often takes an experienced third party to identify them and to suggest alternative beliefs and responses. Therapy and 12-Step meetings provide this. In recovery, you will:

Self-Help and Therapy

Codependency is highly recoverable, but requires effort, courage, and the right treatment. A therapist should be knowledgeable in treating codependency, shame, and self-esteem, as well as be able to teach healthier behavioral and communication skills. Cognitive-behavior therapy is effective in raising self-esteem and changing codependent thinking, feelings, and behavior. In some cases, trauma therapy is also indicated.

Recovery can generate more anxiety, so it’s important to maintain a self-help support system such as, Al-Anon or CoDA 12-Step programs to build self-esteem and become more assertive.

©DarleneLancer 2019

Our way of pronouncing things generally stems from our environment. What sounds do we hear when we are growing up? When we go to school we are also influenced by our peers. So when you pronounce the word coupon, it’s generally the same way your family or friends pronounce the word. There are two common ways to say it. These are koopon and kyupon. The more elegant pronunciation is koopon and this is attributed to the fact that it is closer to the French pronunciation. Coupon was originally a French word and was anglicised in the early 1800s according to Dictionary.com.

There are many words that have multiple pronunciations and there are commonly numerous regional differences. A typical example is the family of words including out such as about, shout, out and pout. There is a distinct difference in Canadian pronunciation and US pronunciation and this is one of the more marked examples in language most of us normally consider to be identical continent wide.

English Language and Usage, a site for those who enjoy language issues, brings up the case of words like aged and marked which can be pronounced with either one syllable or two while preserving exactly the same meaning. This site notes that marked with 2 syllables is only for archaic or poetic use, but somehow I missed the boat on that because I always pronounce it as mark (ed) when I want to emphasize how something is distinguished.

Homophones and heteronyms are definitions dealing with words in terms of sound, meaning and spelling. Homophones sound alike but have different meaning and spelling. An example is eye vs. I. Heteronyms are words with the same spelling and different pronunciation and meaning. An example is “Excuse me!” as opposed to “Not another excuse!”

Words are fun to play with and talk about. Sadly, many of our regional differences in pronunciation are disappearing because of global exposure to standardized language from the media. We’ve all grown up listening to TV which has homogenized our speech patterns. For the sake of diversity, let’s celebrate variations in the pronunciation of coupon rather than being snobby about preference.

Twenty years from now, when our children are grown, they will hail us when they see us in town. But will we recognize their voices? Or, will they all have the same cadence and lilt as an NBC reporter? Will their crisp pronunciation and standardized speech be so uniform that we no longer recognize the unique individuals within whom we know and love? Perhaps we should all get out our recorders and capture a tiny bit of regional history before it disappears as completely as Native American languages and song.

Children are life’s most wonderful blessings but you have to admit, they’re no angels at all times. It’s quite natural for toddlers to test your patience often because they’re still developing their behaviour and discovering what’s right from wrong (on top of their endless reservoir of energy).

When you’re at your wit’s end with your little one, follow these tips to staying patient with toddlers:

Level with your child

In situations like this, you have to stop thinking like a grown-up! More often than not, especially with young kids, their troublesome behaviour isn’t deliberate. It mainly stems from either frustration or innocence. That’s why when they’re acting “bad”, treat it as a teaching moment – say what you need to say, ask questions, then move on. Have the extra patience knowing that if they can’t communicate what they want properly, they’ll act out. Put yourself in their shoes and try to understand in their level.

Offer choices

Nobody wants to be told what to do all day, even children. Being told “no” to almost everything will naturally frustrate them. When they ask for something and you won’t allow it, give them another option. For example, if your little one asks for a lollipop right before bedtime, you can politely explain why she can’t have one then offer a glass of milk instead. This way, she doesn’t feel like she can’t do anything or have anything at all.

Observe your own behaviour

Kids watch you and pick up on your actions more than you know. If you whine a lot, complain when there’s nothing good on tv, raise your voice when you’re upset or don’t finish everything on your plate during meals? Don’t expect your little one to have perfect behaviour when you yourself are showing some bad habits. Always be careful about what you say or do around your kid because you are their role model!

Let things be

One of the best parenting advice you can get – don’t sweat the small stuff. If they spill paint on the floor, played with your lipstick or made some other mistake, it’s really not worth your time and energy if you get mad and scold your child. Correct the mistake and leave it at that. Simply put, let kids be kids!

Kids won’t have maximized their childhood if they didn’t get on their parents’ nerves! Just follow these effective tips to staying patient with toddlers!

Do you remember feeling like a grown-up, being given the responsibility of an adult, allowed to do your parent’s special project for the first time? I had one of those experiences and it was such a wonderful feeling to be treated like an adult. I was a serious child and tried to perform my very best at every age. But some things can’t be rushed like skipping childhood quickly to become an adult.

It was Christmas Eve and I was quite young and my parents had always encouraged me to do adult kinds of things. This year was one of those times. They told me that I could be in charge of filling the Christmas stockings with little gifts and then hanging them from the mantel. I was in seventh heaven. Imagine that. Me. Doing such a grown-up thing.

When my parents went to bed, I assembled all the things that were designated to go in the socks. I looked around and couldn’t find socks that were sturdy enough to hang from a mantel with candies and gifts. Then I spotted my father’s new black, silk, knee-high socks and proceeded to fill them.

I laid them out on the table and started pushing goodies into them but then I realized that all the goodies in our county couldn’t fill those socks. Keep in mind that in those days, there were no commercial Christmas socks made out of felt and sewn together for their strength so we used our own socks.

Since no one knew that I was going to use my father’s silk, knee-high socks, no one told me that they stretch very easily. So, there I sat at the table with these socks laid out flat, stuffing things into them.

The trouble with that was that knee-high silk socks keep stretching as they are filled. In frustration at not having enough gifts to go from the soles of the socks to the tops, I grabbed some oranges and pushed them into the bottoms of the socks and then put the little gifts on top of them and hung them up on the mantel.

The next morning, when we all came downstairs to wish each other a Merry Christmas and open our presents, my father was more surprised than pleased to see his new, silk, knee-high socks dragging on the floor, stretched so far down, that each sock could have fit two or three legs into them.

My wonderful feeling of being treated like an adult didn’t last very long. After that experience, I was back to being treated like a child for the next few years.

If your nieces or nephews are like many kids, they’re probably pretty crazy about you. After all, there’s nothing quite like the time that they get to spend with their aunts and their uncles.

However, given the competition that some aunts and uncles face in terms of grandparents who also want their special time with their favorite kids, play dates with friends, school, sports, and the ever-present lure of video games and TV shows, it can be hard to carve time for things to do with your niece and nephew for those extra-special experiences where you create those standout memories – the ones that last for a lifetime.

So the next time you’re planning some fun things to do with your nieces and nephews, try one of these five ideas to help you put together something truly memorable:

Give them the chance to try something they’ve never done with Mom and Dad.

The quickest way to win cool points with your favorite short people – and create memories that last a lifetime – is to give them an experience that they have never had with their parents. These not-the-usual things to do may be adventures to have at home, like a campout in the living room, a scavenger hunt in the yard or an indoor treasure hunt.

Or, they can be events and activities that require you to get in the car and go somewhere, like a theme restaurant they’ve never tried before, a drive out in the country, a picnic in a park they’ve never visited, or a “memory lane” trip to see the important landmarks from your own growing up years.

Check out some live entertainment.

If your niece or nephew tends to spend a lot of time watching their favorite shows on the DVR or playing digital games, it’s high time that they discovered the joys of live entertainment. Options to consider include dinner shows, community theatre or productions at your local high school or college, concerts in the park, and music performances at local churches.

Have a surprise party.

You can build excitement about your afternoon or evening with your nieces and nephews by letting them know a few days in advance that they are going to have an outing with you – but that they’re not going to know what the outing involves until they arrive at your destination. Add to the fun and suspense with a systematic campaign in the days leading up to the event by dropping some strategic hints.

For example, if you’re going to take them to a slumber party at the zoo, you might make arrangements for a different clue to be placed at their breakfast table each morning: Animal crackers one day, gift bags with new pajamas in them the next, etc.

Make them feel grown up.

Add a little style and uniqueness to your outing by planning something with a grown up theme – for example, a “dinner party” at your house. You can ask the kids to RSVP, suggest a “host gift” if the event involves them coming to your home, and help them pick out fancy outfits. Even if the fare Is hotdogs and hamburgers, you can keep the theme going by using your best dish ware and glasses, and by having an “after dinner drink” of root beer floats or fancy lemonade.

Try a Theme Night.

A special theme for your outing can make the activity extra memorable and help increase the excitement leading up to the event. You can make it seasonal, like “Summer Kickoff” or “Christmas in July”, or you can do something historical, like “80s Night” or “Medieval Night”. Ask the kids to do some research ahead of time, or put together special outfits or costumes, to help get them into the spirit of things before the big day arrives. You can keep the theme going by having themed party favors, conversational topics, dinner items, and so forth.

Growing up you always had your home boys. Your friends usually had more influence over you then your parent(s). As we grew up bonds became tighter and you though you had friends for life. However as you get older you start to understand that friendships by itself are more than likely not worth the time to entertain. The reason for that is because now you have responsibilities like bills, work, maybe children and maybe a wife or girlfriend.

It is hard to squeeze male friendships into a grown man life and most of the times it is not even worth trying. Some of our home boys grow up to be bums and time wasters. Despite the connection you might have sometimes you have to let your friends to not get sucked back down to their level. Here are 5 signs that you need to cut a friendship off

1. Your home boys do not appreciate your time. If they are flaking a lot on plans or not following through with their word you need to let that go. Just because you guys are friends there still must be respect. If they do not value your time you need to drop them

2. Always asking you for stuff. At this point they no longer see you as a friend and now they see you as a support system. Because you all grew up together, you giving them stuff is expected. Get away from this asap.

3. If all you all are over 25 and not getting any money together. This one came from the rapper Styles P. He said if you are not getting any money after 25 with your home boys then drop them. Life is capitalism in this country. Time is too precious not have some sort of plans before 30.

4. They are always getting at your chicks. Drop these scavenger dudes asap. This leads to trouble.

5. They become below your tax bracket. If you have become super successful without the help of your home boys you most likely need to separate yourself from the situation. A lot of hatred and backstabbing happens from this situation. Example: How many football players have their home boy drain their bank accounts? You always want to be surrounded by people BETTER than you so you can strive to their level. You are who you hang with. If someone beneath your status level wants to hang and learn from you then $CHARGE them!