A close family friend recently suggested having a dog after she lost her husband. She is an animal lover already, but after her husband passed away she just felt that her house was too lonely. A recent study from the University Of Montreal in Canada has also found that having a pet can greatly help children with Autism. Thinking more broadly, dogs and cats can help people who suffer from stress and the resulting anger.

The reasons for this are many and vary for each and every one of us. Some reasons include: – A LOVING COMPANION: Everybody needs to feel loved sometimes and dogs and cats (and many other pets) can offer this. They can listen to our secrets, offer friendship and are pleased to see us when we arrive home.

– ALLOW US TO WALK MORE: This is more the case with dogs than other pets. Taking our pet dog for walks is not only good exercise for them but also for us – with the added benefit that exercise can allow us to feel happier and less stressed as well as being very good exercise.

– LOWER OUR BLOOD PRESSURE: It may sound ridiculous but stroking soft fur on our pet can actually help reduce our blood pressure if we are feeling stressed and angered. Watching goldfish is another tried and tested method of reducing anger – hence fish tanks and larger aquariums are placed in hospitals and medical waiting rooms.

– CAN TAKE OUR MIND AWAY FROM STRESSFUL SITUATIONS: Playing with our pets and lavishing attention on them can help us to forget about what has actually stressed and angered us in the first place. Of course this is not an answer to solving problems but can help us to forget about those milder worries. We may have had a particularly bad day but as soon as we walk through the door and see our pet, this anger simply disappears.

While giving this advice, two words of warning are necessary here. Firstly, there are some problems in our lives that will simply not go away no-matter how much we try and take our mind off them – and while having a pet may help in the short-term, the best solution is to face the problem and try to solve it.

Secondly and most importantly, a dog or any other pet is a long-term commitment and the decision to have any pet should not be taken lightly. Pets cost a great deal of our personal time, energy and money. They should not simply be bought on impulse or simply to serve our needs. There are already far too many dogs, cats and other animals abandoned or given to rescue centres because people cannot physically look after them or cannot be bothered to.

If you do however feel that you could benefit from having a pet and feel ready to take on that a long-term commitment, then having an animal companion could be a great help reducing stress and anger.

Are you or someone you know perpetually angry or volatile? Do you easily take offense… fly off the handle when someone shoves in front of you in a line, says something rude or cuts you off in traffic? Do you ever find yourself literally so red faced and angry you are shaking? If so, it may not be just because of what someone else did or the immediate situation, but because anger is trapped in your body on the cellular level. What does that mean?

It means that when we go through an emotionally charged experience, the result can be an electrical short circuit in our nervous system that can ultimately become lodged somewhere in the body. Over a period of time a trapped emotion can cause all sorts of psychological, emotional or physical distress for which there may be no ready or reasonable explanation.

Trapped emotions are quite common in those who have suffered abuse in childhood. When abuse occurs at a young age, a child’s immature brain has no way to process what is happening. Unfortunately, all too often the ones the child would logically turn to for comfort or support are the abusers themselves, which leaves the child with no one to listen or help. As a result, the child “stuffs” the emotions, which then become lodged in his or her body where they can be carried for a lifetime.

How does this affect us in adulthood? Ben R. is a perfect example. Nothing ever seemed to work out for him. As a young child he was constantly yelled at by his parents and spanked, even for minor infractions. In elementary school, he was bullied by his classmates and punished by teachers for misbehavior. Labeled as a “screw up” and a dummy by his family, he was repeatedly told as he grew up that he was “no good” and would never amount to anything. That was before his family finally threw him out. At sixteen he had an argument with his second stepmother that resulted in his father telling Ben to get out of their lives and not come back.

As a result, Ben dropped out of school, lived on the streets for a time and got involved with drugs and alcohol. The only emotion Ben felt comfortable expressing was anger, and there were plenty of opportunities for him to do that. As an adult, he struggled with relationships, and after three failed marriages of his own, gave up on the whole idea. He could never keep a job either or hold onto money. Ben angrily blamed all his misfortunes on others. To him, life was totally unfair–other people always got all the breaks and everyone had it in for him. Ben was literally “shaking” with the anger trapped in his body that he had unknowingly carried around for years. As time went on, his behavior became more and more explosive. Even something seemingly insignificant could cause him to lose control, and unable to keep his temper in check, he was headed for serious trouble. Unfortunately for people like Ben, this pattern will continue without intervention.

The more trapped emotions you have the more negative energy you are radiating and the more you are attracting. (Like attracts like.) Not only can trapped emotions create disorder in your life, they can eventually even interfere with the normal functioning of your body.

Now there is a healing technique known as The Emotion Code™, which provides an effective way to clear trapped emotions. Developed by Dr. Bradley Nelson over a period of 21 years, The Emotion Code™ is a method of finding and identifying emotions that are trapped in the body and bringing them to the surface where they can be released.

If you are chronically angry (or suffer from any other persistent emotional problems) and/or you have unexplainable aches, pains or symptoms for which traditional medicine has no answer, trapped emotions could well be the culprit. Checking into The Emotion Code™ is an easy way to find out. You may discover you have a lot to lose.

Take a rest! Paranoid! Have you encountered such a comment? Maybe they mean what they said. You need a doctor though it may sound irritating but consider it anyway. Men have so much pride that they get furious to hear a comment from anyone. It’s not easy to stay angry all the time. It’s tiring, disturbing, confusing. Why not try to see a doctor and find out whether their comments are true? Seeing a class about managing your anger is something not to be ashamed of. In fact, if you think of it positively, it will be a challenge for you and for the people around you. This only proves that you are man enough to face anyone, anything that comes your way. See for yourself what benefit and you get from enrolling in an anger management classes for men.

Advantages of Anger Management Class

You see advertisements everywhere about the anger management classes. In the news paper, flyers distributed. If you take a look, you will find one nearest your place. If none are available, consult a doctor to a hospital or a church. Am sure they can help you show directions on where to find one. Here are some of the obvious and useful types of support you may avail.

1. Activities.

A competent therapist will assist you, after which will teach you variety of strategies on how to conquer and incorporate anger management into your lifestyle. Let go of your irritations build into irrational rages. Anger management case studies; rage is a cover up for unexpressed emotions that were piled up. An anger that has been denied released, bottled up until it can no longer contained. By learning and practicing several management controls, you can save yourself and live a normal life with no rage, no madness, and no anger. Learn to use your angry feelings as a force for growth rather than push then down. Anger management trainings will help you spare your life and the lives of your love once.

2. Groups.

There is therapist, counselors, instructor, will group you into small classes. A group leader will participate in your anger management classes for men to assist and help you cope up with your struggles, particularly in the area where your anger triggers. They will help you learn to interact with others who are struggling the same way like you do. By doing this, you will recognize and appreciate the routes to anger management that are used by many people.

3. Training.

In anger management, men are taught strategies (e.g., problem-solving skills) that enable them to control their anger in the face of a conflict. Although specific elements used in anger management vary, most programs use combination of techniques.

First, they will develop their ability to understand the perspective of others to put themselves in someone else’s shoes.

Second, men students are taught to be aware of their emotional and physical states when they are angry. To help them learn self-control, some programs will teach relaxation techniques.

Finally, in this class men will learn how to use a specific strategy (e.g…Stop! Think! What should I do?) to moderate their responses to potential conflicts.

They are typically trained in problem-solving skills including.

1) Identifying the problem;

2) generating alternative solutions;

3) Considering the consequences of each solution;

4) selecting an effective response; and

5) evaluating outcomes of that response.

4. Treatment.

Assess the credentials of your therapist; psychologist, counselors and your facilitators if they are licensed, qualified, to conduct anger management classes for men. This way, you will be confident that you’ve made the right decision in joining the class, and they are the right people you can depend on and can help you. It’s always best to have a second opinion when in doubt.

Today’s issue of best relaxation techniques deals with anger management.

And here’s today’s technique for managing your anger: Count to 90. The old saying is that you should count to 10, but it’s actually 90. In 90 seconds your anger will be gone unless you choose to command yourself to stay angry. Staying angry, in other words, is hard work.

You can verify this “90 second rule” by reading a fascinating book called “My Stroke of Insight” by Jill Taylor Bolte. Dr. Bolte was a brain scientist at Harvard Medical School, “performing research and teaching young professionals about the brain.”

In December of 1996, Jill had a stroke that left her unable to perform the simplest physical or mental tasks. It took eight years for her to completely recover. In her book, Dr. Bolte shares the remarkable insights she gained from her stroke (watch the video below. It’s worth 20 minutes of your life).

Dr. Bolte points out that “Although there are certain limbic (emotional) programs that can be triggered automatically, it takes less than 90 seconds for one of these programs to be triggered, surge through our body and then be completely flushed out of our bloodstream.” In other words, anger (or for that matter, fear, sadness and anxiety) is produced by chemicals (neurotransmitters) surging through our bodies. These chemicals dissipate within 90 seconds. In order to feel a strong emotion beyond this initial 90 seconds, we have to consciously choose to continue to experience anger.

I had a direct experience of this the other day as I was driving home down a two-lane road with very little traffic. At one point, the road curved and another road intersected the one I was on. The speed limit into the curve went from 50 miles per hour to 30 because there was no stop sign where the roads intersected and it was impossible to see beyond the curve.

Just as I was coming into the curve, a car coming from the other direction in the curve passed in front of me, heading towards the intersecting road, without slowing down or even seeming to acknowledge that we were within a few feet of colliding. Fortunately, I had reduced my speed and had avoided what would have been a devastating accident.

My limbic system went into overdrive. I was furious. My heart was racing. In my imagination, I chased down that driver, forced him (or her, I wasn’t sure) to the side of the road and screamed my rage into his/her face. In my mind, I could see that driver cowering and afraid of me.

Then I remembered Doctor Bolte and her anger management insight. The initial (90 second) experience of anger was gone, but I was literally commanding myself to keep it alive. Why did I do this?

According to Dr. Bolte, “when we feel intense negative emotions like anger, jealousy or frustration…(we feel) strong and powerful” (she seemed to be talking directly to me). She continued, “I have known people who consciously choose to exercise their anger circuitry on a regular basis simply because it helps them remember what it feels like to be themselves.”

In other words, certain feelings are so familiar to us that, if we don’t experience them, we feel as though we’re not “being ourselves.”

Dr. Bolte concludes by saying, “For all those years of my life, I really had been a figment of my own imagination.” When we feel anger beyond 90 seconds, we are all “figments of our imaginations” and, therefore, creating our own suffering. As I recall reading somewhere, while pain may be inevitable, suffering is optional.

So the best anger management technique may simply be a matter of arithmetic: Count to 90.

STRESS evokes anger when hope is lost in the moment. It is not usually one issue in isolation that turns us inside out in anger.

Most anger I suggest is a chaotic accumulation of issues, not one single issue that sends us over the edge into the abyss of ludicrousness. The issue that apparently breaches the cusp is the straw that breaks the proverbial camel’s back – the dromedary is already maximally burdened.

Angry outbursts must be about a profusion of issues conspiring against our peace.

We would be better to stop and ask the simple question, “What could this be?”

Is it that we are upset with our partner or our co-worker or our boss or our child or our mother or father? Or, is it that we’re frustrated because of the traffic, or being let down by others, or that we are tired, or disappointed that our favourite team lost? Could it be the weight of a conflict that can’t be reconciled, or perhaps there is a different weight we’re carrying, like a grief or a haunting disappointment? Maybe we are anxious or nervous for something ahead. Or, is it a combination of these? The latter is likelier, an amalgamation of concerns is bothering us.

The question is, could it be something else? Just the fact that that is a possibility makes the question pressing. Why would we upset someone else if we weren’t sure they were completely to blame? Yet, we upset others without even knowing what it is at core that is perplexing us. Could it be something else? Of course, it could be.

Simply to stop, to pause, and to think, “What could this be?” is empowering and protective. “What could be behind what I’m feeling here?” In these moments we realize the power of self-awareness.

It’s wise when anger rises to take a step back. The time we take to explore honestly and humbly what’s driving our anger is the time we can take to seize control of our emotions to protect ourselves and everyone else.

The most empowering thing we can do with our anger is to ask why. It always hides sadness or fear, fatigue or frustration. The soul seeks to be heard, and if we won’t pay attention to what our soul is saying, our soul will let everyone else know. And great harm can be done.

There are no good or bad emotion, what makes them either good or bad is the way that they are used. That is especially true in the case of anger. Anger can save your life in time of crisis but if left unchecked, it can also bring a world of misery.

Anger usually happens when a person feels not in complete control or overwhelmed by a condition or situation. The feeling of anger kicks in an effort to rally personal resources that would otherwise not be available. In other words, anger is spawned by a feeling of helplessness and not by a sensation of strength. Sadly, that is not how it is sometimes perceived.

In some circles, the propensity to get angry is viewed as a sign of character, strength and power. Nothing could be further from the truth. Strong people are not prone to anger. They are not prone to anger because they are very seldom in conditions where they see themselves vulnerable so there is no need for anger.

It should also be noted that anger robs a person of a great portion of the ability to think clearly and rationally. It is also well know that the angrier a person becomes, the more irrational will be the behavior.

Most mature people will see anger as a sign of personal weakness therefore will try to avoid it at all cost.

It is certain that the emotion of anger has its place. In cases of physical aggression, anger will monopolize brute strength that would not otherwise be available. As previously said, there are no bad emotions, even anger has its time and place.

When I was much younger I used to have an issue with anger. And, the worst part is that I used to take pride in the fact that I could fly off the handle at the slightest provocation. I felt that it was a way of gaining respect since people around me were constantly walking on eggs and afraid that they could set me off.

Luckily, I began to read biographies and started to emulate my heroes. That’s when I realized that the smartest and brightest among us were not prone to violence or anger. That was an epiphany for me. I knew then that I must change.

The way that I changed was by associating a profound distaste for lack of personal control and much admiration for self-control. Almost overnight I changed. I cannot recall the last time I got angry and I feel much better and a whole lot worthier because of that… and also much more effective in “delicate” situations.

Anger is part of the grief cycle consisting of five stages as per Elisabeth Kubler-Ross. The other stages are denial, bargaining, depression and acceptance. It is important to note that experiencing the anger is an important part of the process however it is often contradictory to expectations of self or others and therefore often denied or blocked.

Human response

The anger response has a physical, mental and emotional part. In certain situations it also ends up having a behavioural response. It is absolutely human, even under normal circumstances, to experience anger as part of our experience of being human. Anger is the second stage in the above-mentioned model of Elisabeth Kubler-Ross.

Anger as part of grieving

After the initial stage of denial and the refusal to accept fact, anger is the response to the realization of no longer being able to continue with the denial. Paired with the anger might come an internal conflict of compassion or reasoning: ‘I have no right to be angry at the person who was sick!’

In addition to this, the surrounding family and friends might feel uncomfortable dealing with the misplaced feelings of rage and envy and find it hard to care for the grieving individual.

Misplaced anger

In daily life there is always plenty of people and situations to be frustrated or angry about. In the grieving process, you might find outside reasons for your anger or, with awareness, recognize the desire to project it onto something in order to validate it. It is however seldom the real cause.

Managing anger

The anger response in the body is the same whether is stems from the grieving process or not. Here is it important to experience the anger and observe it. Asking yourself: ‘Is this the real cause?’ will, with honest self-inquiry and insight, reveal the deeper truth.

In anger management there are a few basic different strategies, we might use unconsciously or consciously: blocking, avoiding, dispelling, projecting, blaming, expressing, using, processing, or witnessing it.

Do’s and don’ts

In order to deal with the physical release of adrenalin 20 minutes of vigorous activity or exercise can help as well as muscle relaxation or breathing exercises.

Another worthwhile activity might be writing down what is going in circles on a mind level or speaking it out loud, just by your self. When you are stuck, just ask yourself: What else? And continue until all is said.

Don’t drink alcohol or drugs. They might give you temporary relief but in the end make you feel worse.

Don’t drive when angry, as it can be dangerous and lead to all kinds of other problems.

Don’t make rushed decisions; take time to settle and calm down.

Remember

Remind yourself that anger is part of the grieving process and it is normal to experience it. Allow yourself to experience the feeling, which does not mean you have to behave in an angry way all the time. Chose the situations and people carefully so that you feel supported and understood.

There are many reasons why we lose our temper. It can be due to anger, need to be valued, respected and appreciated. It can also be due to too much expectation. For example, in a company, when employees are expected to follow a set of standards but failed, basically, the normal reaction of the employer is to be angry with the behavior of his/her subordinates.

Although losing your temper is better expressed than not because it might depress you or worse, it would result in a more serious effect – violence. The reason why people become angry is that the stress level has gone up and often the cause of anger, depression, and aggression.

It’s normal to get angry sometimes, but if you’re prone to rage bursts, it can really damage your relationships and even ruin your career. So, before you can do anything, try to take a moment to calm yourself. Uncontrollable temper is destructive, though. It might lead to violence, self-harm, and death. It is out of control.

But if it feels like your patience is already on its last thread, divert it to something positive to help you shift your perspectives when you lost sight of things. When your temper rises, it narrows your thoughts, making it seem like getting angry is the only way to deal with it.

I am not saying that you can’t get angry at any individual. What I am trying to say is that you can express it in a controlled manner. You can communicate your displeasure about something but try to sustain your control. You can yell and scream for all you care but it will only make you look overly emotional and unprofessional.

If you let yourself get out of control, and utter angry words with your employees or members of your family, you only make them uneasy. Better to become analytical during such situations and handle it calmly. I know it is easier said than done but we can always try especially if something is important enough to you that it causes the emotion; it’s obviously too significant to be dismissed.

Anger is not something you have to express in an aggressive way just to avoid blowing up. It’s unhealthy when it flares up all the time or stay out of control. In fact, outbursts and censure only fuel the fire and reinforce your problem.

When you’re angry, the rational part of your brain is shut down. Therefore, you become irrational. You won’t listen to reasons. But it should be best directed towards worthwhile goals. You can’t always control the situation you’re in but you can always find ways on how you express your anger without being verbally or physically abusive.

Even if someone is pushing your patience to the limit, you always have a choice on how to react proactively. When you do, you’ll not only feel better but also be likely to get your goals met, manage conflict in your life, and strengthen your relationships at work and most especially with your family.

If you’re going through or already divorced and feel consumed by anger and frustration from being disrespected by the ex, I can relate to what you’re feeling.

I’ve struggled with the immense pain of being consumed by anger, frustration, being concerned about the effects on my young child, and feeling fed up with being disrespected by the ex.

It felt like I was walking on eggshells. No matter what I said or did, no matter how hard I tried, the ex seemed to get angrier and more unreasonable.

It was evident the divorce situation was having an extremely negative impact on our daughter. She was becoming whiny, which she had never been before. She was having trouble sleeping, which was also new.

The situation just kept getting worse.

There had to be something I could do to change things, but I had no idea where to begin.

Yet, I knew I had to do something different to try to create a change, and I knew it had to begin with me because I am the only person I can control or change.

The opportunity to shift arose during a situation that was having an extremely negative impact on our young daughter.

The legal custody of our daughter was an equal 50/50. We had been able to work together for over two years to communicate and figure out the schedule for when we each had our daughter. After several variations, we settled on an every other week schedule, with our daughter going to the other parent’s home on Wednesdays.

Suddenly, for no apparent reason, the ex refused to talk (or listen) about the schedule and mandated we go by the schedule documented in our divorce decree.

I was astounded to realize that the divorce decree outlined an every other day schedule.

This would mean no consistency and no stability, as our little 3 year old girl was to go back and forth between our two homes every single day.

This doesn’t even begin to account for the differences between the two homes as far as parenting, guidelines, and so much more.

I was afraid this new schedule could result in extreme trauma for our young daughter.

My thoughts and feelings were confirmed when I shared the situation with a child psychologist, who was likewise appalled.

(If I were to go into the fact that any divorce attorney suggest, much less allow this type of physical custody schedule to be put into a divorce decree, I’d be writing for days… ).

I wasn’t just angry. I was stunned and furious that the ex was mandating that our 3-year old daughter be put on an every other day schedule.

How self-centered! How oblivious to the negative effects an every other day schedule would have on our child!

I found myself caught up in a vicious cycle of reacting with vehement anger towards the ex.

Needless to say, this only served to make things worse. I realized I had to do something differently, as what I was doing wasn’t working at all.

As I reflected on what could help, it dawned on me… my reacting to the ex wasn’t ever going to improve anything.

I knew I wanted to try to create an environment of divorce that provided balance and support for our daughter. And this is where I began to shift my perspective and focus.

Providing consistency and stability for our daughter was essential. This meant stopping the every other day schedule and trying to get back to an every other week timeframe.

The ex refused to even listen. In fact, she got angrier.

I felt I had no choice, so I took her back to court over the custody schedule.

There is irony in this decision as we never went in front of the judge. Sitting in the hall outside the courtroom, our respective attorneys started “negotiating”. There was a lot of back and forth, and a lot of accusations coming from the ex.

The ex said the only way she would change the schedule was if I would hand over 50% of an education fund I had personally set up for our daughter.

I was flabbergasted! How dare she! The audacity to steal what I’d set up for my daughter!

She couldn’t be more self-centered.

To me, our daughter’s well-being was the top priority, and her mom was making it about money, money that was NOT hers!

Then it hit me. By getting angry, I was being self-centered and making it about money.

I shifted my focus to what I wanted to create for our daughter. And this included having a balanced schedule.

I took a few slow, deep breaths, and calmly told my attorney to say “Yes” to handing over 50% of the education fund amount that I had established for our daughter, to the ex.

As soon as my decision was shared with the ex and her attorney, we were able to come to terms and agree on an every other week schedule.

I made this decision for the sake of my precious daughter. Yes, I had to let go of my anger and re-channel the stirring energy stemming from my anger.

This helped me to learn one of the most impacting lessons of my life.

When I am feeling really angry and allowing myself to react to it, I know it will never be very likely that I will be able to create or get what I really want.

When I shifted my focus to creating an environment of divorce where my daughter would thrive, I shifted the energy I’d been emitting, and we were able to come to terms.

Looking back, do I still think the ex was being self-centered and unreasonable to the extreme? Absolutely, yes I do.

However, I’d determined my number one priority, my daughter. And I was then able to let go of my anger and shift my intentional focus to creating a more positive and beneficial environment for our daughter… and this indeed was the outcome.

Here is my challenge to you… Think about the last time you reacted with anger toward the ex.

What was it that actually triggered you?

Did it get you what you really wanted? Of course not.

Now commit to being more aware, more prepared for the next interaction with the ex.

Think about what you really want to create and why.

For this, my why was my daughter. I wanted to strive to create a more positive environment for her.

When you find the anger starting to simmer in the depths of your soul, what is something you can say to yourself or do that will snap you out of it, that will help you shift your focus to what you really want to create?

Think about what you want to create for your children, intently shift your focus to it, and determine what you are going to say or do next to get you closer to it.

As you follow-through on this and nurture it, condition it by being consistent, you will be able to remain in self-control, remain calm, and change the outcome for the sake of your kids.

Shifting your perspective changes everything. It allows you to shift out of anger and into a state of being more intentional.

Where does anger come from? No, not from what happens, but from what we think about what happens; from our opinion about what happens. Without an opinion, what happens is just what happens. As Shakespeare said, “There is nothing good or bad. Thinking makes it so.”

All experience comes through the three principles – mind, thought, and consciousness. No mind, no experience. No thought, no experience. No consciousness, no experience. Until people realize this fact they feel like helpless victims of circumstance. Yet when people realize the truth that their experience comes exclusively through mind, thought and consciousness, they no longer feel like helpless victims of what happens.

Back to anger management. It follows that anger is nothing more than the experience of our thinking and opinions. Thus, there is no “real cause” of anger “out there”. We are making it up. To change our experience we just need to change our mind. When our mind changes our experience changes.

If anger is coming from our own mind, what is in mind that makes us feel angry? What are we thinking? Condemnation! All condemnation comes with anger. No condemnation, no anger.

If we have to change our mind in order to change our experience, and if anger comes from condemnation, what frees us from anger? Forgiveness.

Remember a time when you forgave, or were forgiven. Take your time. Let it come to you. How many times have you forgiven and been forgiven? No need to count, just let yourself become aware of a time, of the many times that you have forgiven and been forgiven. OK? Are you there? Are you sensing that nice feeling? Feel the experience of forgiving and being forgiven?

Where is the anger now? This is the essence of anger management.

As a matter of fact, there is nothing to manage once you have forgiven. However, until you forgive, so long as you condemn, and justify your condemnation, you may need to manage your impulses to get even, to get revenge, to get justice. Retribution always comes with risks, negative side effects and complications. It requires us to manage our anger to avoid the dangerous side effects of acting it out, or to be very careful to avoid the dangers of getting even.

A change of heart, forgiveness, has no untoward side effects, no risks, and no negative consequences. It spares us the need to manage our anger, because we spend no time justifying it. Rather, we spend our time looking for and open to a change of heart, to a change of perspective, which is forgiveness.

Again, we are all free to decide. We have free will. We are free to choose the path of condemnation, anger and “payola”, or we can choose the path of forgiveness, a nice feeling, and generosity. The latter is impossible when we believe that our feelings come from what others do or fail to do; from what happens.

When people realize that their feelings are “the shadows of their thoughts”, as George Pransky of Pransky and Associates put it, they see that mind, thought, and consciousness are the sole sources of their experience and they are more motivated and likely to look for the solution to their anger in a change of heart (forgiveness), than in retribution.