You shouldn’t chase a man! Any dating expert will tell you this. Men are biologically programmed to do the chasing and if you chase after them, they may feel flattered for a while, but then they will run away. If you don’t believe me then read on…

To succeed at dating you need to be good at getting men to chase you. You need to present a challenge to a man. And you need to keep that challenge up and make sure he never feels that he has you completely under his control. If the chase is over quickly then he will lose interest quickly.

Now, of course there are going to be exceptions to this and if you insist of doing the chasing, that’s fine. On one condition… that from now on you start to notice how many times this doesn’t work out. Here’s what some dating and relationship experts have to say on the subject:

Lisa Daily in her fabulous book “Stop Getting Dumped”

The truth is, if you ask a man out on a date, part of him will believe you’re desperate, and wonder what’s wrong with you. After all, if you’re so great, why isn’t somebody else dating you? He may even go out with you a few times, but trust me, the relationship will be doomed. He will never truly value you, because of this simple fact: He didn’t have to work hard to get you. (Lisa Daily, 2003, Stop Getting Dumped, Vermilion)

Sherry Argov in her hilarious book “Why Men Love Bitches”

Women need to understand that men love the “thrill of the case” and are highly competitive… Its like blackjack. If he wins big right up front, he’s done for the night. But with the slow win, things develop differently. He wins a few hands and then loses a couple. At this point wild horses couldn’t pull him away, because he feels so close to winning again. He can almost taste it. His inborn, competitive male nature kicks in and makes him stay there and fight. And if he’s losing, he’ll fight even harder.” (Sherry Argov, 2002, Why Men Love Bitches, Adams Media Corporation)

Dr Patricia Allen and Sandra Harmon in their book on masculine and feminine “Getting To I Do”

“Leslie picked sexy men, whom she approached first. In this way, she unconsciously and automatically set up the relationship so that she would never get to be the sexy, cherished woman. If Leslie really wanted to be pursued and loved by a generous, protective, and cherishing man, she would have to learn to be passively potent and magnetic.” (Patricia Allen and Sandra Harmon, 2002, Getting To “I Do”, Quill)

You can chase a man if you are a masculine woman who is looking for a feminine man, but not if you want to be the female in the relationship. I am not aware of a single dating expert who will tell a feminine woman that it’s OK to chase a masculine man. Most of us have tried chasing men at some point. When you realise that it does not work, you can start to move on and learn what does.