1

A poem is

like life

sound

and silence

movement

and stillness

fragment

and wholeness

avibhiktam

vibhakteshu

like Shiva

and Shakti

lotus

and mud

2

I thought I knew her before and my heart bowed to her native virtues

each touch she offered stirred and drew me near

before entering her depths I felt how dark was the dance

I never liked to part with her but the tears in her eyes were saying: ‘no, no’

3

Your face lights up my dark chamber

the moon reclines on my bosom

this evening steals your fragrance

4

I want to rest in your lap

and drink your golden breasts

hide me in the curtain of your hair

shield me in the grove of your flesh

5

Won’t you share

my aloneness

tonight?

I need

female smell

in bed

let’s kiss

each other in our

strangeness

6

When Renoir or Cezanne or Matisse or Picasso

can play with body and capture the soul

why not poets draw on beauty in darkness

and speak in the language of Body, or write all

that animals do and men conceal in light

the aching peace must gets sway

good or bad what’s empty must be filled

if life vibrates music must sound

7

Call it spoof

or nirvana

if you like

hidden between thighs

is the spring music

beyond birth

8

A myth

like prejudice

is turned lovely

with rituals

when we search

faith

against ourselves

in ourselves

9

A flying horse perched

on the island of her flesh

without conquering the ocean:

whirlwinds galloped

his funeral parade

between the cracks

10

Singing the rituals of flesh

midst the sound of frogs

and owls by the window

I bury my sultry night

in the mosquito-net

11

Stooping over his gravid love

while he neared the coital bliss

the little child woke up

with erect penis cried

to spoil sex she slipped aside

and put out her breast to feed him

in semi-darkness virility foiled

the slough face down

12

In the blue space of mind

Winny plays her games

as in waking hours

weaving shapes in holy precincts

I recover my lost child

and the old priest calls me back

with a pearl to save my soul:

dulcet sounds ring again to celebrate

my move above the nights

13

The dress hides

undress

and you look beautiful

14

A stray sperm

grows in the ovum

blooms as a puffball

15

How hard we try to empty

the vessel that holds our seed

in her deep pleasure turns painful

causes depression after two children

we want non-creative sex:

now clean cobwebs that hold red flow

to release our post-lunch tension

16

Leaves fall

in a dust-ridden city

stars grin and body burns

vultures hover all round

passions breed in pigsty

she has shaved chromosomes

under a bloody roof

my tattered trousers remind

the bedsheets love stained

before light shone

in a sulphurous pond

I display

my naked person

to ghosts and witches

17

When I read the eyes of darkness

and loneliness in my room

I slip into my bed and unbutton

with a craving of the malpakara

knowing well when

it’s not a girl or wife

sexploitation is no sin

18

Every stain on the bed speaks

of offence done to

self, lover, sweetheart

I am reminded of acts

day and night

and pretend

hot tea from my cup

has scattered

19

Once your body was the sitar waiting for my touch

the sweet fragrance of your hair still lingers

but the cigarette that was mine is now ash

20

Islands grow like mounts

in the midst of the sea

my palm I full of circles and triangles

my fate I know too well

the crone ready to cast

a new Judgment of Paris

on the mount of Venus

is an apple

I wonder if my wife

too has sensed it

21

Giggling behind the hill

is the woman I knew

if you touch my finger

you shall know

what winter is

22

Naked

without ring

my finger

a widow

23

Darkness is a whore

I sleep with

cross-legged

without copulation

last night parted

with sinking acid

24

Road to VD through

Assembly of God over the bridge

flying cars of the State

on walls slogans of commercial gods

and the name of Gandhi shadowed

by the crossed trees near Hydel

DANGER board shifts

my gaze to veiled beauties

moving like thoughts

with the best of motives

manoeuvre to kill a poet

learning the secret of

the first menstrual flow

25

Dancing on the top of the tower

his religious fans plan to erect

Shiva’s phallus as token of love

turn kaned all men and women

before union the tower collapses

with their guru they fall into the forest

and rise again as apes the third day

26

The bearded swamy’s

vedantic discourse

goes over head

in empty solitude

he speaks

as a dying man

to dying men

27

Mute pavements

shelter meditators

in milky silence

passing beauties

denuded in water

skin shrinks

at the Ganges in Kartik

old gods leer at

their wet bare backs

in bleeding cold

‘aum’ is convenient

to soothe vasanas

no more Ashwapathys please

they’re hung up, racing in jet

to catch two white moons

28

What’s this sadhana

that he throws the bowl

at a man in the circle

and he dies instantly?

But I look for the jackal

escaping his aim

29

Simulating mysticism

they fill the hollows

through jugglery

conceal their

fractured faith

30

The night died

for nobody trimmed

the wick of lamp

31

A monkey turned the coat

to let off snakes

hidden in velvet lining

32

One by one

when the lamps are put out

every floor is dark

in this house

33

Calculating fate

through zodiac maze

last night I discovered

a dotty god rising

out of a dead oyster

34

The night drips

from their faces

like the rains

assails my vision

I fail to distinguish

man from beast

35

When there’s no market for most speech

who’ll read my loose ramblings:

it’s silly to wander far off

to designs to dismiss reality

or configurations called poetry

36

In mind

his eyes fire

his images

nightmare

the poor soul

in scorpion cage

cannot brave

the dark combats

37

I dig my mind to

unmemory the past

and become voice and time

to redeem the icy sun

to wake up the hibernating wind

long blid to dust

swirling in shapes

under emergency light

coloured virtues on sale

reflecting the night of bodies

craving burial in the thicket

of cosmetic hair

in dull music about me

flesh-eaters starving for the soul

as I kill an arrogant

snake at my door

38

The golden orb

through pricking trails

from east to west

concentrates dark

in life love separates

to upset balance

waking and sleeping

I look up and purge

static madness

39

After these hot noons

the earth

mates with rainbow

I breathe my son’s smile

and forget the darkness growing

40

This evening’s smile

seems conspiring with floating shadows

swains rehearse in dark corners

with cigarettes

I simply gobble the scene

41

The webs that hide still time

I must clean and banish

Saul from my home:

His bait is subtle

I must work out my salvation

and find again the bread of life

through the maze of rootlessness

fragmented memories and finger prints

the faceless figures in the dark

mock with amputated legs

in the museum eternity is locked:

I must rise again before extinction

42

Smoke rises from the church

Christ burns gradually

the ultimate dust rests

in His hands

for recreation

of a new lamb

43

The race of life

with an awful shadow

anterior or posterior–to darkness:

I am only moving

in the crowd of roads

in search of a road

44

Across the brown woods

I climb the naked hills

where tempests can’t reach

nor waves rise to collapse

my being watches the evening star

hanging through heaven I lose

and find again the snowy light

transposing crimson arc in east

nobody sees the lotus smile

the calm behind the chaos

fleeting breaths commemorate

hopes of eden on earth

a mystic repose or agony

I don’t know blooms, flows

or overwhelms world’s soul

in me time weds eternity

45

I don’t know the little beauty

my son curiously chases

in the wild flowers

butterfly is angelic

fleeting each time

he reaches to catch

46

Stars on the earth these glow-worms

I want to clasp in hand and offer

God as flowers of

obeisance

47

The sun sheds its radiance

over the hills as if

they water the slope with blood

to keep the eternal green

the deciduous days near end

I see the sheol rising

upon the ocean of spring

many unmoor to sail

many draw in the womb of air

48

There is a road in the forest

I haven’t trampled yet

a light glows always

for a fresh touch in planet’s belly

I look out from my suspended window

and they say there is nothing

the hungry skin for an avalanche

and parabolic movement in space

don’t translate my existence

on paints their homage coeval

with icy expectations I stand

and feel the warmth Death brings

49

The blue hillocks look at the vegetation below

green forests, orchids, firs and pines smile

over the rocky slopes horses graze and

down below a river teems with fishes

in the Land of Dragon Paro is a bride

beautiful, angelic, loving

everyone cherishes her matutinal grace

I love her, and love the mastoid mountains

of Druk Yul, a greater heaven on earth

50

The road never runs

straight in mountains

life means hazards

my line of fate runs

straight and smooth yet

roses bloom with thorns

51

There is no tree

over the mountain

I rest in shade

of a wandering cloud

52

It is not the surf

by the sea I watch

the crashing waves

on the shore I hear

the music of the wind

that stirs my soul:

you shut your eyes

and feel at home

53

The rock stands midst the sea

bulls of Bashan beset me

with snares of death

floods rise and go:

dark waters turn bright

waves touch my feet

the shepherd washes me clean

midst the sea rock stands

54

Scooped in the belly

of a huge airbus

it’s only sunset

55

Locked in giant Chandragupta

I fly over snow stacked stones

and defy clouds in unseen sun

56

He walks through the high walled narrow lanes

where children play with dead or dying dogs

that eat their own stinking flesh

he sees them sitting over the running wheels

murdered innocence peep out from windows

but no one bothers the tragic turn

57

Connaught Place, Janpath and Parliament Street look

like a platform of some busy railway station here

night is the same as day people run after

the buses or wait with their burdens

pushing or kicking insidiously doing all

mischiefs in and out I see

attempts to hide something insignificant

and so important goes uncared

my messianic dream welters on the bleeding breasts of Delhi

Playboys and Penthouses cry “Mai? Mai?”

with hold-me-tight arguments of the saucy sweet

I hear the mosaic deafs and dumbs telling

whither goes my Sinai?

58

Rouged faces of working girls

in DTC buses give

frustration

black joys of life

taking turns

against red lights

on the road

59

They board and alight

like the birds flying

from trees in the morning

wander without signature

in the evening

get lost in dark

60

After a tortuous journey left alone

a homeless wanderer comes

to the land of mines following

the dream-chandan and -geru in can

rusted stones and square smile

pelicans pictured at Nalsarovar

against a blissful clime he sues

black dusts and pollution without

going down the earth on way

spots places and people secretly

appeared many a time crawling

on a minotaurs belly intumesced

he thinks the machine is overworked

in yawning hours he eats

goats’ testicles and omelette to green

his nocturnal craze invaginates

the blues of a road, it’s vugs and turns

deo volente he treks for better

61

I play that I’m happy

like a child secretly complain

waking before the sun

I feel my taste and warm myself

against a rain of smoke

it smells only foul

like the toilet near my room

62

Crushed heads of serpents coil along the road

green glitter of stream strikes my vision

I walk and fear the growing ripples in urinal

63

I don’t see crows

turn into cuckoos

or herons into swans

in this jungle

viruses haunt

air and water

no Agastya rises

from the pitcher

no holy man changes

the corrupt roots

ignorance feeds faith

all around

rahus eclipse moon

and gurus

like comets grow

to sink life

in wild ocean

64

Going down the dark corridor

I breathe smog in the morning

walking is a quick dose to death:

traffic roars though invisible now

black layers rest on leaves

where is fresh air?

I cough my allergies and swallow pills

To live in a safer tomb

65

The Thames tolerates

bridging so much

I fear one day

she’ll disappear

leaving behind

a nullah known

only to MPs

or intruders

in Queen’s bedroom

66

The Ganges condescended

to flow down from Shiva’s matted hair

with white laughter

from the Himalayas to Kashi

it shone so pure and bright

but failed to quench

the earthly thirst

or cleanse the human heart

their sinful mind

the goddess couldn’t change

I clearly see in its apparent grace

missing all turbulence

so necessary to wash out

the ilss of ages it seems

it’s lifeless now

impotent to set right

the rotten state of man

67

Young girls and women move up and down

in the boat standing on the river bank

they carry sand for their bread

and fling down the basket, sun smoulders

men sit on the terrace and smoke hashish at noon

crack private jokes, watch sullen grace

the drowsy river flows with the city’s garbage

68

Is there enough water to quench

my body burns within

the little liquid’s restless

and the black doctor awaits

a handful ashes

to propitiate Shiva

the red eyes deride

my passionate labour

and the scourge sears each bone

it seems I’m dumb rock

no Christ will call a church

yet the flames rise

high in sky burn

burn

what can I do

if there is no water?

69

I fear the desert in sky

and hate clouds on hills

I doubt rain is potent

earth is wined by whores

70

When things were good and happy

I knew the lofe of all

now nobody knows me here

71

Love or friendship in this land

is a hoax

each morning and evening

my tent is set afire

and they say

night is illumined

72

It turns my lips blue

and fingers freeze in icy wave

I breathe frost and shiver

in the coldest ever Delhi

get up before every one and move out

for bread

73

They say

I’m a good person

plain and simple

a poet suffering

at the hands

of evil persons

like Christ

crucified with

thieves beside

and didn’t he cry

“Eloi! Eloi!

lama sabachthani?”

I cry at the 19th hour

of a sour day

“O God, O God”

74

Doctor Chakroverty

damned Mrs Gandhi

damned Nixon

damned politics

called them rogues

when I said

they’re fools

he said

no

75

An ideal minister

is a miracle of cunning

like the jackal in fables

who ate the heart

and ears of the ass

only to say

like the fox that ate

the deer’s heart

and declared later

it hadn’t any

76

Mr Dange lauds

action against smugglers

and accepts a purse of

4.5 lakhs from working people

on his birthday

I wonder how masses

subsisting on 36 paise

could collect such a dough

77

The best

of seven nations hanging

in her closet because

she’s the wife

of a senior bureaucrat

78

Splendid

these rats

enjoy favours

give nothing

receive all

79

The telephone receiver

like a hooded snake

pretty, but full of poison

80

The dance about light

humming mosquitoes

in the evening

griefs can’t be trimmed

if stings are deep:

night lurks on concerns

of the day between

surpluses and scarcities

I scratch tissues

of impairing events

or bite the curly language

to redeem hollow inside

dread of dying sun

and insects outside conspire

against wind that burrs the leaves

of years (or spiders’ net

in annually-cleaned corners?)

shacked up, in a shambles now

stamped with mosquitoes blood

my palms conceal failures

I can never erase

I can’t recover light

buried in a grave

it’s difficult

to keep form and flow

81

Sceptical yet innocent I look below the flyover

deserted landscape overrun by chained dogs and bitches while

parasites walk leisurely on the solitary road

I long to talk to someone

the sky is blind and mute

too are the directions hollow winds

blow over my head with frozen

fingers I negotiate budding leaves

images blister under yellow skins

I see cold shadows at dusk

read new myths and metaphors

in vain defy months old exile

82

Civilization

in a poor nation

is death by

methyl isocynate

hanging heavily

by multinational grace

in the cold night

each house turns a mortuary

mixing the dead and the dying

and the living turning blind

only fossils snivel

dreams dustmingle

broken visions lock

wide sky in ice-blue eyes

what have we left?

nothing remains

and none live to watch

the grand finale

of human achievement

83

The sun is indifferent there

the moon doesn’t weep

in Beirut butchered children

and bulldozed bodies testify

to man’s savage growth

from Moses to Mohammad

ideals and dreams breed slaughter

for existence barbarians

need cosmetic excuses?

84

We decry

discrimination

of the sort

we practice

at home:

in Calcutta

if lifts don’t carry

“Servants, dogs, and luggage”

why grudge

the South African notices

“dogs and natives

are not allowed”?

85

It’s outrageous

with headless heads

and paper tigers

roaring from the top

and cows resting in the porch

or listening to lectures

and dogs and goats roaming in the verandah

it’s a cattle’s paradise

humanities courtyard

is a litter of puppies and paper plates

after the seminar

they pretend to get mired in textbooks

who can stop the wheel

if it performs well

and the punctures stay unseen

86

Who will sing for you

in the street

when all your life

you ballooned words

in coffee houses

or the offices

to create epic

with scratchy jargon?

Now watch

your black mushrooms

grow wild

in the drawing room

do you fear

your shark teeth

in action?

87

I am a man

if you want to see

your image

you’ll see

your distortion only

88

What’s this

music of life

vibrating but

soundless?

TOP TIPS FOR YOUR PET (part one)

1. Is Your Dog Regularly Getting the Runs?

Add bio yoghurt to their feed. Quite often this can be a bacterial imbalance. Especially if it is happening on a regular basis. The bio yoghurt normally sorts this sort of problem out fairly quickly.

2. Is Your Dog's Urine Burning the Lawn?

Yellow spots on the lawn are caused because your dog's digestive system is too rich in nitrogen therefore the high levels of nitrogen in the urine causes the lawn spots. Go outside and really look at those burn marks. Notice how the outside edge of the mark actually has really nice, green grass? That is because the nitrogen that burned the grass is too strong but the outer edges of the 'circle' of urine ended up with just enough nitrogen to help instead of hurt.

There are a few things you can do. If you are observant you can water over the spot where the dog has urinated this will dilute the nitrogen and will be beneficial to the lawn. set aside an area the dog can use as a bathroom where you don't care what happens. Fill it with shingle or just leave the grass there to get burned. Teach the dog to go in that one spot. This will take time and patience.

Alternatively a dose of one teaspoon to one tablespoon of apple cider vinegar (depending on the size of the dog) per day can correct the pH imbalance and could solve the problem. The apple cider vinegar can be added to the dog's water or put directly on his food. The natural type from a health food store, not the pasteurized version from the supermarketTwo tablespoons of tomato juice on the dog's food twice a day will have the same effect.

3. Insect Stings to Dogs or Cats

Slice a raw onion and apply to the sting as soon as possible. If the sting is inside the mouth – Keep "Antihistamine" capsules in your first aid kit. A rapid administration soon after the sting can prevent serious complications. You can also get antihistamine in liquid form which makes it easier to dispense. To administer liquids pull out the jowl near the back teeth it makes a sort of little cup, then just pour the measured liquid in, close mouth, tip head back and massage throat. Some dogs will actually swallow the insect live, which may continue stinging the dog internally and cause anaphylactic shock. In rare cases, death can result. This is caused from internal swelling of the trachea which cuts off the oxygen supply to the lungs. Quick administration of "Antihistamine" can reduce and even prevent serious complications.

SPECIAL NOTE – Dosage will vary depending on the size of the animal. Check with your vet for recommended dosage. Usually they will refer to the animal's weight as a guideline.

4. Sharp Object and Glass eating

What do you do if your dog eats glass or other sharp objects like staples or small nails etc? Dogs even eat ornaments, Xmas decorations, light bulbs and lots of other things that are sharp and therefore dangerous. Here's what to do.

Go to the chemist and buy some cotton balls make sure it is cotton balls and not the cosmetic puff things they are made of manmade fibers. Buy a carton of double cream and keep it in the freezer if in the eventuality of your dog eating something sharp. Defrost the cream and pour some in a bowl. Dip cotton balls into the cream and feed them to your dog.

Dogs less than 10 lbs should eat 2 balls which you have first torn into smaller pieces. Dogs 10-50 lbs should eat 3-5 balls and larger dogs should eat 5-7.

You may feed larger dogs an entire cotton ball at once. Dogs seem to really like these strange treats and eat them readily. As the cotton works its way through the digestive tract it will find all the glass and small sharp objects and wrap itself around them. Even the teeniest shards of glass will be caught and wrapped in the cotton fibers and the cotton will protect the intestines from damage. Your dog's stools will be a bit strange for a few days. You must be careful to check for fresh blood or a tarry appearance to the stool. If either of the latter symptoms appear you should rush your dog to the vet for a check-up, but in most cases, the dogs should be fine

5. Bonding

If you want to quickly bond with a new pup or rescue dog. Masticate a piece of white bread till it is a gooey then feed this as a titbit to the pup / dog for the first 7 days. You only need to do this once a day; it mimics the regurgitation process when pups and cubs are being weaned in the wild, this really makes all the difference and helps them bond more quickly and therefore settle in much sooner.

6. Constipation

If your dog doesn't move his bowels for a day or two, or if he seems to have difficulty doing so, he may be constipated. Give him a teaspoonful of milk of magnesia first thing in the morning, before his breakfast if you feed him twice a day. If he is often constipated, add more vegetables to his diet and also mix a teaspoonful of mineral oil in his dinner. He won't taste it with the food. Do this until he is regular again. Also be sure that he gets plenty of exercise. Lack of running, walking, and jumping can make a dog constipated.

7. Car Sickness

Often Ginger helps with this problem either Ginger Biscuits or even better natural ginger fed before the journey. The biscuits can be fed as the dog gets in the car, which has an added incentive of the dog feeling that it being praised for just getting in the vehicle. Cocculus 6C a homeopathic remedy for travel sickness can also be help especially for a dog that has excessive drooling or has been sick. Give one dose then repeat every 30 minutes for a maximum of 4 doses. Sea Legs can also be helpful the human travel sickness but check with your Vet for how much to administer, though I would imagine if you bought a child's dose it would be fine

8. Grooming

Once a week put a really good shake of Olive Oil "the one you use for salads" into the dogs food, it gives the coat a brilliant shiny healthy look. In conjunction with the oil use a rubber horse curry comb / brush; you can purchase it cheaply from any tack shop, strips all the dead hair off and shines up the coat better than any other brush on the market. They also do a plastic one that gets all the seeds and bits of debris out. I use both to great affect.

9. Grooming 2

Irrespective of the dogs coat long or short groom daily. Even if it's only for a couple of minutes and make sure you groom over the withers. This helps in bonding and social status. In the wild the Alpha Male and Female will call over the other wolves or wild dogs individually and groom them in their pecking order. Grooming is an important social gesture. That is why some dominant dogs object to being groomed, they don't believe you have right or the position to initiate this action.

10. Tears Stains and Bacterial Infections

Wet areas on the face are a breeding ground for bacteria and yeast. Bacterial infections commonly occur in the tear ducts. "Ptirsporum", red yeast bacteria, is at the root of most yeast infections. Tear stains also often occur at the same time as a gum infection or ear infection. Staining can also occur on a dog's paws from licking and around his mouth from infected saliva.

Apple cider vinegar (in its natural form from a health food store, not the pasteurized version from the Supermarket) I get mine from horse tack shops. It is a natural antibiotic, antiseptic, and deodorant; It helps digestion and to remove tooth tartar; prevents tooth decay and hair loss (even mange), it also prevents and heals gum disease and skin problems; and will discourage fleas.

Putting a teaspoon of apple cider vinegar per quart of water in your dog's water bowl or on food can clear up most active yeast infections and prevent future infections. Apple cider vinegar tablets can be used if your dog refuses to drink the treated water or eat the food.

11. Halitosis / Dog Breath

Halitosis, or unpleasant breath, can be caused by a stomach problem, bad teeth or tonsils, or something that is stuck in the dog's mouth or throat. Look your dog's teeth to see if any are decayed. If not, then give him 3/4 teaspoonful of bicarbonate of soda in his food twice a day for a few days. If his breath is still offensive, then take him to a vet to see if he needs his teeth cleaned or his tonsils treated.

12. Cuts

If your dog cuts himself slightly, put some boric acid solution or some peroxide on the cut and then leave it alone. You can also buy veterinarian wound powder, the best place to buy this is a horse tack shop it's much cheaper, Clean the cut or abrasion making sure no dirt or debris is left in the wound and puff the powder onto the area and leave it normally heals up fairly quickly. If the cut is deep, or if it doesn't stop bleeding, pack gauze or clean rags around it and take him to a vet. If the cut is on his leg or foot and bleeds a lot, tie a piece of cloth tightly around his leg, between the cut and his body, release the pressure every ten minutes, and take him to a vet at once.

13. Electric Shocks

Once in a while, a silly puppy will chew through an electric cord leading to a lamp or a radio or a toaster. Surprisingly the shock he gets is normally not serious (though in certain circumstances has proved fatal); however it can sometimes be strong enough to knock him out. If this happens, put a little household ammonia on a wad of cotton and hold this under his nose. Don't touch the nose with it, as the ammonia will burn his skin. The sharp odor will bring him round. When he does comes to, give him some cool, strong, black coffee to drink. If his mouth seems burned by the shock, wet a cloth in strong, cool tea and wash the burned place with this. Take him to the vet if he seems burned or injured in any way.

14. What if your dog swallows a dangerous object

It's a rare puppy that doesn't swallow at least one strange object which his stomach can't possibly digest. But a dog's stomach is so constructed that it can usually take care of most of the odd things that find their way into it. If you should see your dog swallow something you know is bad for him. . . a piece of rubber toy, a large nail, a splinter of bone or sharp metallic object. . . Here's what to do right away.

Give him a large piece of soft bread to eat. Then toss about two teaspoonfuls of salt on the back of his tongue, close his mouth with your hand and keep it closed until he swallows the salt. Now put him on a newspaper or some other place where he can vomit without doing any damage. In a short time, the salt will cause him to throw up the bread and the strange object. If this doesn't come up the first time give him another dose of salt after about 5 minutes. Once the object is vomited, He should be fine. But if he begins to have diarrhoea, or if his stomach swells up and appears tender when you touch it, give him a tablespoonful of mineral oil. If he still seems to be in pain after a few hours, or if there is any blood in his urine or bowel movement, take him straight to a vet.

15. Eyes

If you want to clean out the "sleep bugs," you can dip a wad of cotton into a mixture of warm water and boric-acid solution 50/50. Squeeze a few drops of this in each eye. You can also use plain warm milk for this purpose. If your pet has got some mild conjunctivitis try warm used tea bags, if the infection is more than mild then purchase some Golden Eye from the chemist (cream not drops) and treat for three days this clears up most infections, however if he still has problems a visit to the Vet is in order. In case of a real injury to the eyes from a dogfight, or something poked into them, put a pad of gauze soaked in boric-acid solution 50/50 ie warm water and boric acid over the eye that's hurt. Then wrap a towel loosely around the dog's head and take him at once to a vet.

16. Commands

Avoid giving your dog commands that you know you cannot enforce. Every time you give a command that is neither complied with nor enforced your dog learns that commands are optional.

One command should equal one response, so give your dog only one command (twice max!), Then gently enforce it. Repeating commands tunes your dog out (as does nagging) and teaches your dog that the first several commands are a "bluff." For instance, telling your dog to "Sit, sit, sit, sit!", Is neither an efficient nor effective way to issue commands. Simply give your dog a single "Sit" command and gently place or lure your dog into the sit position, then praise / reward.

17. The Dog's Name

Whenever possible, use your dog's name positively, rather than using it in conjunction with a reprimand, warnings or punishment. Your dog should trust that when it hears its name or is called to you, good things happen. His name should always be positive and responded to with enthusiasm, never hesitancy or fear.

One of best ways to make sure his name is viewed as a positive is to sit the dog between you and your partner or a friend and say the dog's name. If he doesn't look at you, give his ear a gentle tug to gain his attention so that he turns his head towards you, As soon as this happens praise and treat enthusiastically, cheese, puffed jerky or dried liver is ideal. Get your partner / friend to do the same and keep repeating back and forth for a few minutes, do this regularly and for the rest of the dogs life and he / she should always respond enthusiastically whenever his name is mentioned.

Some people including myself create a bad dog name so that the dog never hears its real name in any negative situation.

18. Pee Poles

These are very new in the pet shops and are made of hard plastic and look almost like a 1 foot high giant tack. The tack is impregnated with a Pheromone that causes the dogs and bitches to urinate on them. You hammer them in the area you want the dog to urinate and hey presto. Believe it or not it appears to work. These scientists are doing very well with their pheromones, what with the DAP diffuser and now this.

19. Puppy Teething

Most of the teething and chewing as apart from mouthing and nipping starts at about 4.5 months old. This is the time that the little piranha teeth, laughingly called puppy teeth start dropping out, as the new adult teeth start pushing through. It takes anything up to 8 months for these new teeth to set in the jaw, whilst this is happening the pup has a need to chew. To help soothe this and save your fixtures, fittings and furniture. Get the pup a plastic flower pot. Not the thin brittle ones but a fairly thick substantial one, this will help his gums and sooth the itching. Another great help is get a knotted rope you buy as a tug soak it in water and put it in the freezer. The ice that forms really helps hot and itchy gums. Also freeze carrots and whilst frozen give to teething pups a great and nutritious soother.

20. Games of Tug

I don't like games of tug at any time, except with a particularly timid or frightened dog then I will play and let the dog win to build up some confidence. However I never ever play tug with a puppy whilst it has its puppy / piranha teeth. It actually has little or no jaw muscles at this time therefore you can dislocate the jaw or even misalign the teeth by playing roughhouse tug games. You may also be setting the scene for aggressive confrontations later in the puppy's growth cycle by playing this type of game. It would be better playing games of find, hide little bits of treats in the house and garden and encourage the dog to search them out, or ball games these all help dispel some of the pup's energies and to stimulate the mind, rather than stimulate the aggression predatory side of the pup.

See Greatest Dog Tips (part two) for the next fifteen tips

I’ve ceased with the pre-shift ritual of meditating in my parked truck along with a soothing piece of music. No more prayers to God en route to work asking for more patience, more humanity, more understanding. I have accepted the fact that it will be no different than any other night in the Emergency Department, no matter if I blare Yanni’s rancid piano etudes or make a promise to God to pass out my own body parts to the discharged patients as they leave. Nothing will change. I use to look forward to making a difference in someone’s life, helping a poor soul whose body has given out. Those moments are few and far between now. Instead, I resign myself to the fact that the next 12 hours will be spent pasting a fake smile on a tired body, going through the motions of caring, repeating ready-made lines of false concern and giving out medical advice that fall on deaf ears. I use to feel important in my role as Charge Nurse at a major ER of an inner-city charity hospital. Now, as I sit in my truck at 6:45 in the evening, gangster rap blaring, I send out a quick impromptu message to God….. “Please God, allow me the opportunity to be gainfully employed 12 hours from now.”

7:02 PM-

I receive a quick report of the clingons and leftovers who haven’t made it out of the department by change of shift and to no surprise to myself and the night crew, a few names are all too familiar and the reports of their latest “illness” easily recitable from memory. The usual apologies from the day crew for not getting them out before we arrived go unnoticed. A shrill screech from one of the psych beds startles no one. We all just look up from within the “safe” confines of the nursing station, confirm that our overweight security force is camped out beside the room, shake our heads briefly and go on about our business. We go through the ritual of taking our own baseline vital signs, popping a few Xanax and removing sharp objects from our pockets. Patient safety is important and we wouldn’t want to accidentally stab one of them repeatedly in the chest.

7:17 PM-

My primary job aside from direct patient care is triage. Initial interview, vital signs, brief medical history, current medical problem, current medications, height, weight etc etc. My first of 35 or so fits the typical profile of this or any other ER in the country. 40 year old, female, morbidly obese, diabetic, hypertensive, multiple psych meds, very little English, less common sense, no means to pay. She complains of the usual nausea, vomiting, diarrhea and generalized abdominal pain. She’s already spent thousands of dollars of other people’s money last week for the same complaint. She didn’t fill her scripts, didn’t follow up with her Gastroenterologist as requested and by no means was this 300 + lb, truffle hunting leech going to alter her diet one iota in order to prevent another attack of diverticulitis. Her idea of a “Clear Liquid Diet” was a bucket of chicken and bowl of menudo an hour prior to her arrival. So here she is, totally oblivious as to why she is still sick. Non-compliant with her meds, non-compliant with the discharge instructions, follow up or diet instructions, which included a bland, low-fat, liquid diet for a few days until she was able to tolerate semi-solid/or solid food.

She bitches profusely when she is not brought straight back and put into a bed, instead she is sent back out to the waiting area for a lengthy wait. We are full and busy with the truly “emergent” patients but she can’t seem to fathom this. She barrels through the exit door, into the waiting area calling me every name in the book (in Spanish) and swearing to never come back again. “PENDEJO!”, she mutters. Oh, she’ll be back.

“NEXT”!

7:31 PM-

My 3rd patient is a 23-year-old mother of 3, the oldest being 10. She has somehow mistaken our “EMERGENCY DEPARTMENT” for a pediatric clinic and wants her brood “checked out” because they feel “hot.” No temperature ever taken at home, no Tylenol or Motrin given before the decision was made to spend $1500.00 of other people’s money and to waste our time babysitting 3 snot-nosed, unkempt ankle-biters who are no more sicker than the man in the moon. I usher them one at a time onto a scale for weights and am not surprised that each is twice the size they should be at their particular ages. One, I have to pry finger foods and a “Big Gulp” from their obstinate little mitts prior to the weight so as not to inadvertently add 5 lbs to his already triple digit reading. The electronic scale beeps incessantly and reads, “ONE AT A TIME, PLEASE.”(Ok, not really) With all their vitals being normal they are ushered out into the waiting area where they eagerly pounce on the furniture and run around like the defensive line for the Attention Deficits.

I am verbally attacked by my obese belly pain lady, who has “been waiting for hours” (uh, how about 20 minutes). I instantly notice the “positive Cheetos sign” on her fingers and around her lips and remind her that the sickest are seen first and to have a seat. She tosses me a “Pincha Pendejo” and rumbles back to her seat. I sneak in a quick call to God asking that he makes sure she looks before she plops back down in her chair(s). I can hear the intercom announcer now, “CODE BLUE TRAUMA, ER WAITING ROOM.” I mentally picture the scenario of the code team spending the next hour removing baby Julio from the rectum of a 300-lb verbally abusive Hispanic woman.

“NEXT”!!

9:21 PM-

I’ve survived the dinner crowd with my job intact and make my way back to the treatment area to assist the rest of my team in the treatment of the patients who were lucky enough to make it back ahead of the non-emergent riff-raff. I make my way to the EMS radio station when I hear…..”Unit 842 code 2 patient report”….we have a 102 year old nursing home patient,….found unresponsive on the floor….no IV….she’s now awake, combative, confused, covered in stool, incontinent of urine, blah, blah, blah…” The report from the nursing home prior to her EMS transport reveals that this patient had a tendency to “dig out stool from her rectum when constipated.” “Oh, that’s just friggin lovely”

9:25 PM-

The waiting room intercom a buzz……”I beeen waiting for 10 hours, you pendejo…you piece of….” Click!

9:33 PM

Our lovely elderly finger painter arrives, covered in poop from head to toe. EMS personnel smirk as they wheel her by, updating us as to any changes en route. Nope, no changes, except that now she’s given up the fight and is again unresponsive and her breathing more shallow. In an instant her breathing stops and is immediately rushed to trauma 1 where CPR is initiated. “CODE BLUE ER-1, CODE BLUE ER-1.”

9:57 PM-

“Time of death, 9:55” is belted out by the code team leader. “She never stood a chance.” “It was her time.” “She had a long and good life.” Blah Blah Blah Blah. She had a horrendous death. Born covered in amniotic fluid, but certainly a proud moment for her parents one can be sure. She died, however, covered in shit, piss and bedsores. The nursing home where she spent her remaining days in agony and perpetual loneliness should be burned to the ground. No family, no attention, nowhere near as prominent and proud as she once was. Left to waste while the understaffed workers at Our Lady of the Perpetual Petri Dish took their extended breaks and pillaged through her personal belongings. A courtesy call to the nursing home is placed telling them that Mrs. Mullins will not be coming back and has been transferred to the ECU (Eternal Care Unit). I hear, “Whew, thank God…..CLICK.”

10:22 PM-

Our usually bevy of drug-seeking, bipolar, depressed, suicidal, Xanax, Vicodin, Demerol hounds arrive as scheduled with multiple and varied complaints of, migraine headaches, chronic back pain, stress, anxiety, fibromyalgia, blah, blah, blah….!

They are easy to spot, almost always familiar, with the same ole’ story. Most we know on a first name basis. They are all, coincidentally, allergic to the same medications; Tylenol, Motrin, Vistaril, Toradol, Aspirin or any other non narcotic or harmless placebo we’ve attempted to quell their “pain” with in the past. The only thing that works is “Demerol” and they must have a large supply of Vicodin in the form of a prescription when they leave. (Vicodin has Tylenol in it but apparently doesn’t cause a severe allergic reaction when mixed with euphoria,….go figure!)

Security is usually called, for to tell them “no drugs tonight” is just asking for a fight. $1000.00 later of other peoples money and they usually leave with their buzz on and their script for Vicodin. But usually not before asking for a “shot for the road” or additional scripts for anxiety (preferably Xanax) or sleep aids. 30 pills are often the number of pills given, depending on the frequency of the prescribed dose. This usually last a few days for the typical drug seeker and then they’ll usually return with more “pain” and a hungry monkey.

In the age when Doctors are sued for both under treating pain OR for prescribing too many narcotics and “getting them addicted”, we medical personal are caught up in the proverbial “catch 22”. More often than not I have been written up and on several occasions was at a point where my job was in jeopardy because I challenged their pathetic lies whenever these low-life drug addicts invaded our ER’s. Now I just shut up, shake my head and pray for an overdose.

11:12 PM

Waiting Room intercom is ringing off the wall. “…how long will I…….can you tell me where I am on the list……Donde esta su Doctor…….I can’t find my child……..the dingo ate my baby…..PINCHE PEDEJO, I BEEN HEER FER TWO DAYS AND MY ASS FEELS LIKE SOMEONE POURED SALSA RIGHT UP MY……….click.

Midnight in the garden of good (for nothings) and the evil (doers)-

After a flurry of non emergent triages, (sore toe, “the shakes”, anal abscess, foreign bodies in the nose, ears and stomach of a 2 year old, blah blah, blah) I call in an astute, well dressed, middle aged white male, who is walking quite gingerly and refusing to sit. Differential diagnoses race through my head, back pain, abdominal pain, rectal abscess,. or perhaps….no!….NO!……NOOOOOOOOOOO!

Yes!

The story goes (and it is a common one) that he and the Mrs. were “experimenting” in bed (against his wishes, no doubt) when a vibrator was jammed in his keester and is now painfully out of reach. Given the nature of the “injury” he is whisked back to a private room, placed on his side, lubed up like a 57 Chevy, and a valiant effort is made to retrieve the 12 inch “perpetrator with ribs” from his large bowel. All to no avail. At one point we had a hold of the foreign body (actually, it was made in the US) but the colon wouldn’t let go of it’s new found cylindrical friend. We tugged, twisted, yanked, pulled, all efforts proving futile. Finally the physician stopped, exhausted from the tug-o-war match, with the forceps, commonly used to removed big headed babies, protruding from the prominent lawyers butt, he made the decision to call in the surgical team. All efforts to remain professional, however, fell by the wayside when, during a moment of silence, a low buzz was detected in the room. Had the blood pressure cuff inflated? Were the incandescent lights buzzing? Was the TV on?

No, no and no. We looked at the forceps and noticed they were vibrating uncontrollably, instantly realizing at that point that this thing was STILL ON. A mad rush by the scant crew to the exit door of the private room was attempted as to not embarrass this local professional with our boisterous laughter. No dice.

We will all eventually be written up and apologies made for our “unprofessionalism and disregard for the patient’s privacy and mental well being”.

That’s ok. We needed that to preserve our own mental well being. Still proving that laughter is still the best medicine.

1:02 AM

Ten triages later and its dinner time for this mentally worn crew. We retrieve our food, locate it to the middle of the nursing station and we eat. Not all at once, mind you but usually a bite at a time. Eat a French fry, go wipe an ass in ER-1, a bite of a Big Mac, go clean up cherry cool-aid flavored vomit in ER-4, a sip of Dr Pepper, then physically restrain a combative Scitzo-effective patient. By 2:15 we have polished off the last bite of a hardened burger, ate our last stale French fry and sucked down the last gulp of our watered-down soda. A soda that is now as warm as fresh urine and food that is as cold as Mrs. Mullins in ER13.

2:30 AM-

Ahhh, my favorite time during the entire shift is upon us. The “Last Call at the local bar crowd” (LCLBC) start to pour in to the front entrance, while EMS brings the ones who got the shit kicked out of them through the back ambulance entrance. “Santa Rosa, this is unit 842….we are coming code 2 trauma with a 19 year old male…..closed head injury….intoxicated…combative….soiled….bloody…..no insurance…..blah, blah,blah.

The same ole song and dance spews from this patients bloodied spout as he is wheeled into Trauma-2……”I was just minding my own business”……”I only had two beers”…..”I don’t do drugs”….. “Can I get something to eat?” “RAALLLLLLPHHH!” “Housekeeping to ER Trauma-2, Housekeeping….”

2:31 AM-

“Dear Lord, If ANYONE can make time travel possible, it’s you, God.” “Pleeeese, send me forward to 7 AM.

3:03 AM-

Patient waiting room intercom is screaming………..”CLICK”…….”BANG, BANG, BANG”.

3:15 AM-

I am ushered into the staff break room for a “time out” and reminded by the night supervisor that the cost of the intercom will be deducted from my paycheck.

4:18 AM-

Our portly female beast of a woman is finally ushered back to a room but not before mumbling under her breath as she brushes past me, “Pendejo”! A major “abdominal work-up” is ordered. 40 lab tests, urine tests, stool cultures, abdominal x-rays, Cat Scans, blah, blah, blah……She’s placed in a gown that looks like curtains stolen from the Grand Ole Opry, and given the reminder “Opening to the back, please,” tossed in for good measure. (“Lord, give me the strength to………..Oh forget it, never mind”)

She’s given a URINE cup as she bounces her way to the bathroom. She fills it with STOOL. “Housekeeping to ER, STAT.”

Can’t find a blood pressure cuff large enough so we must take a chance at an erroneous reading by placing it around her calf or forearm. The hydraulic bed grunts and groans with ever twitch and shift from this woman of substances. She continues to bitch and moan and will eventually file a complaint with (in) human resources, I am sure. Multiple attempts at IV access finally yields a vein that hasn’t been choked off by the mass of arm fat and IV fluids are initiated. After a quick assessment by the ER physician she is off to radiology, with a little 120 lb tech pushing 600 lbs of patient and bed up to the 3rd floor for a series of $3000.00 radiologic exams. X-rays that were done just last week and that she has no intention or means to pay for. It would have been easier (and cheaper) had she driven to Sea World instead. Certainly more accommodating for a woman of her stature.

5:57 AM-

Multiple early morning stragglers are triaged and sent to wait. The foul odor of urine, poop, BO, booze, vomit, etc, permeates the air. “One Hour Left”, I thought. We get all the results of the voluptuous Ms. Hinojosa’s tests back and surprise, surprise….”Diverticulitis.” Perhaps this time she will be compliant with her meds, compliant with her diet, compliant with her follow up, compliant with life. “Fat chance,”I thought. (Pun intended).

Her IV is removed and a half gallon of fat globules ooze from the harpoon hole. She is hoisted off the bed with the help of several departments within the hospital; half of who will call in sick tomorrow with severe back spasms. The battered stretcher which now resembles a low-rider after a major accident is towed to the back for repair. Ms Hinojosa is discharged but not before requesting a breakfast tray. Request denied.

Off she goes to the local “Taco Cabana” for a flurry of assorted breakfast tacos and a bowl of menudo. “She you in a few days, Ms Hinojosa.”

“Pinche Pendejo!”

6:47 AM-

The dismal faces of the morning crew are evident as they reluctantly make there way in, some still in mid-prayer, the newer nurses with walkman’s on, listening to ocean waves or cricket noises saturated with Muzac. A quick report is given to the mentally exhausted night crew and apologies made for the missing bed in ER 3 and the dead body in ER-12.

7:07 AM-

Each member of the night crew, each with a phone in hand, are awaiting the instant the clock strikes 7:08 where, with lightning speed, a flurry of buttons will be punched to clock out, ending another horrendous but typical night in the ER.

7:47 AM-

I pull up to my apartment and sit quietly in my truck. I recall the night’s events and wonder if I had made any critical errors in care or judgment. I mentally prepare for the answers to the complaints made the night before by this unique ER culture of ignorant, non-compliant, abusive, poor, helpless, drugged-up, psychotic, dregs of society.

I say a prayer for Mrs. Mullins and her family and curse all those who’ve abused the system in the last 12 hours, spending thousands upon thousands of dollars of other people’s money but contributing nothing to society what-so-ever. Once I deem that I will have a job come 6:45 that evening, I ease my tired body and shattered mind out of my vehicle, meander up to my apartment and into bed, hungry, frustrated, angry. Where I will fight the demons for an hour or so until I am able to fall asleep. I don’t. I am woken by a dream whereby the ER staff are all patients in the waiting room on a busy night. I am called into the back where a 500-lb female nurse is ripping my clothes off with one hand and swinging a 6 foot rectal scope in the other like a pair of numchucks in a Bruce Lee movie. The alarm clock sounds and I immediately spring up and grab my ass, praying that a 6-foot proctoscope isn’t dangling precariously from it. It’s not. I breathe a sigh of relief and make my way to the shower and into another fateful night of chaos and mayhem.

6:43 PM-

I pull up to the ER, park my truck and sit. I clip on my name badge, giggle as I read our “Mission statement” tattooed on the back. “To extend the healing ministry of Christ,” it reads, and I take a minute to ponder that statement. I smile, acknowledge it’s powerful and profound meaning and bow my head to pray.

“Lord, today, give me your divine power to accept my responsibilities within this ministry. I pray that…”

Just then a beat up delta 88 rolls by on two wheels, with a definite lean to one side. I watch as they take up two parking spaces in the “staff” lot and out pops Ms Hinojosa. I cringe. She leaves a trail of urped-up fajita and menudo through the patient parking lot, into the physicians parking area, towards the ER entrance. Anger churns inside me and I hang my head, looking down at my badge and the mission statement on the back. I try desperately to find the peace and pride I felt just 2 minutes earlier and I resume my prayer……”Lord,….I just…….If you could only find it in your heart to…………OH FORGET IT!!!!!……. NEVER MIND.”

Dog allergy symptoms often tend to be similar, irrespective of the cause of the allergy, and this does not help when you are trying to find out the cause of the problem. However, there are small indicators you should look out for if you believe your dog has an allergy, and that can be used to determine a likely cause.

Dogs are no different to humans when it comes to allergies, and dog allergy symptoms are very similar to ours – sneezing, itching, and watering eyes. However, we humans generally have a rough idea of what is causing our allergy, and we also know that we have one, but your poor dog has no idea what is causing that awful itch.

He sure can’t tell you, so let’s have a look at the more common dog allergy symptoms, and how they can be used to perhaps determine what is causing them. ‘Perhaps’ is used because dog allergies are notoriously difficult to diagnose, but the dog itself might help you.

Itching, Redness and Scratching

Itching is caused by irritation to the skin, and causes the dog to scratch the affected area. This turns it red and perhaps even inflamed if the dog starts biting and gnawing at the irritation. As inflammation sets in and the immune system kicks into gear, then the dog can get really agitated and distressed. The skin can become broken and subject to bacterial contamination that causes pustules to form.

There are two major causes of these dog allergy symptoms: contact allergens such as fleas, and food allergies. It is not so much the ‘flea bite’ that causes these symptoms, though it can be irritating, but the flea’s saliva. A flea bite is not an allergic reaction, but many dogs will have an allergic reaction to the saliva of the flea, which is used to prevent the blood from clotting as the flea feeds.

Other contact allergens include detergents, hairs (even human hairs) and some airborne allergens that land on the skin such as pollen, dust mites and other types of dust – they affect dogs just as they affect humans. The behavior of dogs suffering from any type of irritating itching is scratching and rubbing its skin on the ground – particularly a carpet or something slightly rough. Dog’s sometime sit down and walk with their front paws and their behind on the ground when they have itching at their rear end.

Food allergies in dogs can cause exactly the same symptoms unfortunately, but the ‘tell’ here is that a dog may also vomit, have loose stools or the abnormal behavior can often coincide with a change of food. If you notice this, and change the food back to regular, then the problem should go. Alternatively try only tinned foods, preferably organic if you can afford it, and that should cure a food allergy.

Running Eyes, Licking Paws

Just like humans are affected by pollen, hay fever is also a form of dog allergy. Their skin can become irritated, so they may scratch with most of the symptoms above, but the ‘tell’ here is that bitches are more affected than dogs, and their eyes tend to water just as with humans. Not only that, but another of the specific dog allergy symptoms is licking their paws.

They do this to alleviate itching in their paws, and you should give their feet a careful examination because ticks and fleas can be picked up from grass, and of course, dogs do not usually wear shoes so can pick up all sorts of infections when they are outside, not only allergens. However, by walking in clover fields, or even among daisies and buttercups in your garden, they can experience severe itching from the pollen, in which case their eyes my not water but they will be seen to be licking their paws excessively, and sometimes even gnawing at them.

So, while it is difficult to establish the exact cause of dog allergy symptoms, you can narrow it down by keeping your eyes open and observing your dog’s behavior. You can generally tell a contact allergen from a food allergy, and frequently hay fever can be diagnosed by the time of the year, your dog’s exposure and they way its eyes water or it licks its paws.

Nevertheless, if you are unsure, and your dog is suffering and displaying extreme dog allergy symptoms, you should play safe and pay a visit to the vet.

The Deerhound is among one of the most ornamental of canines, impressively stately in addition to appealing wherever ever he’s observed, might it be among the environment from the baronial hall, reclining at luxurious length prior to the open hearth within the fitful light from the log fireplace which flickers upon polished armour and tarnished tapestry; out inside the open, straining about the lead as he smells the dewy atmosphere, or beautifully bounding above the crimson of his native mountains. Grace and majesty have been in his every and each motion and frame of thoughts, in addition to towards the most prosaic thoughts there’s concerning him the inseparable allure of feudal romance and poetry.

From remote days the Scottish nobles valued their particular strains of Deerhound, looking for fantastic sport within the Highland forested acres. The red deer belonged by inexorable legislation to the nobleman associated with Scotland, as well as great drives, which usually lasted for a number of days, were made in order to gather the herds in to given neighbourhoods for the enjoyment of the court, like the rule of Queen Mary. However the organised coursing associated with deer by courtiers stopped throughout the Stuart troubles, and was left in the hands of retainers, who thus replenished their chief’s larder.

Head:-

The head ought to be largest at the ears, tapering somewhat towards the eyes, with the muzzle tapering much more decidedly towards the nose. The muzzle need to be pointed, however the teeth and lips level. The head needs to be lengthy, the head flat instead of round, having a really minor rise above the eyes, but absolutely nothing approaching a stop. The skull need to be coated with reasonably lengthy hair that is much softer than the rest of the coat. The nose should be black (though in most blue-fawns the colour is blue) as well as somewhat aquiline. Within the lighter-coloured dogs a black muzzle is usually favored. There ought to be an excellent moustache of somewhat silky hair, and a fair beard.

Ears:-

The ears needs to be set on high, and, in repose, folded back like the Greyhound’s, though raised above the head in enthusiasm with out losing the fold, as well as, in some instances, semi-erect.The ear must be soft, lustrous, and just like a mouse’s coating to the touch, and also the smaller it is the better. It should have no long coat or long fringe, but there is usually a silky, silvery layer on the body of the ear and also the tip. Whatever the general colour, the ears should be black or dark-coloured.

Neck and shoulders:-

The neck should be long that is, of the length that befits the Greyhound character of the dog. The nape of the neck should be very prominent where the head is set on, and the throat should be clean-cut at the angle and prominent. The shoulders should be well sloped, the blades well back, with not too much width between them.

Stern:-

Stern needs to be tolerably lengthy, tapering, as well as reaching to within just 1-1/2 ins from the ground, and about 1-1/2 ins beneath the hocks. When the dog is still, dropped perfectly straight down, or curved. When in motion it should be curved when excited, in no case to become raised out of the line of the back. It needs to be very well covered with hair, on the inside heavy and wiry, bottom lengthier.

Eyes:-

Their eyes needs to be dark: usually they’re dark brown or even hazel. The eye is reasonably complete having a soft appearance in repose, but an enthusiastic, far-away gaze once the dog is roused. The rims on the eyelids needs to be black.

Body: The body and general formation is that of a Greyhound of larger size and bone. Chest deep instead of wide, although not too narrow and flat-sided. The loin well arched and drooping to the tail.

Legs and feet:-

The legs needs to be broad and flat, an excellent broad forearm and elbow being desirable. Fore-legs, obviously, as straight as you possibly can. Feet close up as well as compact, along with well-arched toes. The hind-quarters drooping, and as broad and powerful as it can be, the hips staying set wide apart. The hind-legs needs to be well bent along at the stifle, with excellent length through the hip towards the hock, which should be broad and flat.

Coat:-

The hair on the body, neck, and quarters must be hard as well as wiry, and about 3 ins or even 4 ins long; that around the head, breast, and belly is significantly softer. There must be a small hairy fringe within the fore as well as hind-legs, but nothing at all getting close to the feathering of a Collie. The Deerhound should be a shaggy dog, although not over coated.

Colour:-

Colour is quite a bit reliant on fancy. But there’s no manner of question that the dark blue-grey is regarded as favored. Next come the darker and lighter greys or brindles, the darkest being generally preferred. Yellow and sandy-red or red-fawn, particularly with black points i.e., ears and muzzle may also be in equal estimation.

Height:-

From 28 ins to 30 ins, or maybe more if there is balance without coarseness, which, nevertheless, is actually uncommon. Height of bitches: From 26 ins up-wards. There might be no objection with a bitch being large, unless of course she’s too coarse, because even at her biggest height she doesn’t approach that surrounding the dog, and, consequently, couldn’t well be too large for work, as over-big dogs are.

I’m just going to say it right now, I hate clubbing. The music’s too loud, a lot of creepy guys are there, and people in my crew are always getting drunk. Not to mention that the club has its reputation as one of the hardest places to pick up women. However for all the negatives there are, I find myself going there every week. On a Saturday night, that’s where all the attractive women on.

Clubbing is what separates the men from the boys. You’re either one of the guys dancing with women on the floor, or you’re on the sideline with your Corona watching him. It’s difficult, but definitely possible.

1. Whoever approaches the most, leaves with the most numbers

When it comes down to it, clubbing is really just a numbers game. Some women come to the club just to dance with their girlfriends (while dressing like they want every guy to approaching them). It’s hard to weed out which girls are approachable and which are not. The best thing to do is to just grab your balls, and go for it. If you get rejected, then move on to the next girl. And don’t take it personally or let it ruin your night. If you approach a girl, you have a 50% chance of success. If you don’t approach, then you have 0%.

2. It’s all about Social Proof

Not only do people judge you by what you wear, but they also judge you by who you’re with. Who’s more attractive: The guy with a few girls at the bar taking shots with them, or the guy with his friends standing near the wall checking out the dance floor? I always try to take females friends along when I can. I like to dance with them at the beginning because it lets me scout the area to see who’s there, much better than walking around by yourself.

The majority of women that I meet are through people I already know in the club. After you start going there a while, you’ll get to know more people and start noticing a lot of the same groups go every week. When I enter I say hi to everyone I know, and usually they bring with them some friends. I get introduced and it’s game on, no need for the approach phase.

3. What to wear

Many clubs are strict when it comes to the way you dress entering the club. My friend gets in all the time for this one club wearing black converses, but he can’t get into another wearing the same thing.

The “safe” outfit – Black oxfords, dark socks, dark jeans, a button up dress shirt (top 1-2 buttons unbuttoned and you can roll up the sleeves to slightly below the elbows).

You can get into any club wearing this and you won’t look “bad.” But if you read my article on peacocking, then you know you want to look a little bit different from the standard. Personally I like wearing a t-shirt with an interesting blazer.

I know this is common sense, but please take a shower and wear some anti-perspirant before you go out. Also put on some decent cologne because you’re going to get close when you dance. My two favorites are Issey Miyake and Burberry Brit. If you don’t have a cologne, ask a female friend to help you pick one out at Sephora or Macy’s.

4. Have a good wingman

Women are never alone in the club. The best targets in my opinion are when two girls are by themselves. You can approach them by yourself, but the girl you’re with is not going to leave her friend to dance with you. That’s where having a good wingman can be helpful. Also wingmen can encourage you to to approach and help you rebound. I remember one time we had an approach go bad. Afterwards my wingman told me “Man those bitches are ugly anyways, let’s find someone else.” We kept going and found ourselves even better women later.

The golden rule is whoever approaches the girls and picks them up, gets first pick. So don’t be bitching about getting the fat chick if your buddy made the moves ;).

5. Don’t drink too much

Self-explanatory.

6. Timeline

Approach -> Talk -> Dance -> Get her phone # -> Go somewhere with her.

You approach the women with whatever opener you have. You talk to her a bit and engage her. When a song I like comes on I tell her I love this songs. “Let’s go dance” and take her hand to the dance floor.

The dance floor is something that comes with experience and hard to put into words. But basically you make small advances towards her and see what her limits are. I’ve had success making out with women on the dance floor, but the majority of them just want to dance at this stage. After dancing I take her back to where my friends are and we all drink. Talk to her a bit more and get her phone number. The clubs usually close at 2 or 3am and I always go out and eat with my friends, so I will invite her along. After that the rest is up to you.

Clubbing can be intimidating for anyone that’s going there for the first time. But like all things, you’ll improve with experience.

Divorced – do you miss me?

This is a question asked only hours ago in an email from my ex-wife. I could not, or maybe did not, want to answer it straight away, as I was on business in China when I received it. However, it prompted me to think; when was it, that I was last a resident at the former marital home? That home, which is now the humble residence of said wife, with her husband of what must, by now, be around four months.

I recall that I left the house, when I could no longer stand its bitter atmosphere, on Saturday 27th April 2013. This followed a series of very unfortunate encounters, which had 'come to a head' with an early hours tussle and events on the previous Wednesday, when my schedule should take me to the set of Coronation Street at Granada Studios in Manchester. Following a stormy sequence of events over the course of several days before, I eventually remarked, on the Tuesday night and through sobs of tearful emotion that I did not want to go to work on 'Corrie' that day! My then wife consoled me, and my soft ways accepted that she would maintain contact with me whilst 'on-set'!

Even though I knew at heart, that my marriage of almost thirty years was probably over, I naively thought that my staying at home that day, may somehow help to save it! My wife however, had other ideas and her placating words were received by me, as a drowning man would clutch at a straw before finally sinking into the dark depths of some vast ocean! "I will talk to you and you can call me whenever you want", that was the offer and I willingly accepted it. I wanted and thought, I 'needed' her contact, her voice. Little did I realize the power of the rejection that later followed when she wouldn't speak to me because she was too busy, flirting with her boyfriend on Facebook. As a consequence, and from the mental torture that ensued, I thereafter elected to switch on my cruise control at a speed well in excess of 70mph and point my car at the nearest M62 Bridge parapet!

This is the point I guess, where any person destined to meet their maker, should see one's life flashing before their eyes. Maybe that's a good place to start! However, let's forget childhood and skip twenty years, to the wedding that was to eventually be annulled!

It is said that 'Love is blind'. I think in our case, said love was just young and inexperienced. We did love each other in a 'sweethearts' kind of way, but that was, unfortunately, as far as it got. The blooming of that relationship was put on hold, due to my then fiancé, falling pregnant with our first daughter. This raised the notion of several possible outcomes further down the line, though sadly, little did any of us appreciate that at the time! Looking back on that period I wish now, that we had not let "the Mothers' go into overdrive, and complete the farce, that was effectively to become an 'arranged marriage'. An occasion that saw all 'their' friends invited to the 'grand event' and none of our own! We had been courting for two years and engaged for two more, there was a chance it could pan out okay, had it not been doomed from the start. Incidentally, I wanted to be married in a church and my new wife-to-be, most definitely did not want that dress (or the damned veil)!

Reading the above, one may be forgiven, for assuming that I am looking to apportion blame here for the ultimate outcome. Not so! I mention these circumstances merely so that others may learn from my / our experience and I would encourage them to do WHAT they may want, WHEN they want! If this had been the case with us, then who knows, maybe I would not be thinking now, that I should have walked out of our marriage within the first week. This, as a result of the great, 'Dinner's-in-the-bin' incident, orchestrated to coincide with me walking home through the door, filthy, tired and very hungry, following completion of a breakdown shift at British Steel. Very loving of a new wife!

It was around two years into this marriage, that my Brother decided he'd had enough of life. I don't know what he went through in Medomsley, but I do know it scarred him. This, and a girl called Lisa who's Mother didn't think my Brother was good enough, and the death of my cousin six months earlier, also by suicide, was enough to send him over the edge. Well that's the official line anyway. All I would add is that two, drug-running sons-of-bitches in Stockton, think they have got away with something, but hey Karma rules and every dog ​​has his day. As for his so called mates, well, thanks for nothing! My wife was most definitely a rock to me during this dark period of my early twenties.

And so life went on! Good times, bad times, more lovely Kids and even Grand Children. More innocents to be caught in the fray and melee, that ensued afterwards. But such life, was not without its strange ways. I could be in danger here of bordering into the territory of character assassination. This is not my intention. I should merely like to remark, that for someone who was constantly accusing me of 'becoming just like her father', she did a great job steering herself in that direction, eventually being revealed as the apple of his eye! He must be real proud. It is my undoubted opinion that he certainly never liked me from the go-get, and what grandfather can't even remember the name of his first grandson!

There followed then, episodes that correspond with the ups and downs of any marriage, I guess. Save for the adultery and other complications (which I was blissfully unaware of for seventeen years), I would happily have admitted to a great life and an even greater wife. Then I received the news! OMG I was devastated, but given the source, I could not let it show. Literally! I was stunned. Incapacitated! Then the slow dawning of realization descended upon me. Some unexplained moments in of my life, like badly fitting pieces in a jigsaw puzzle, suddenly taking shape before my eyes, oddities and behavioural traits throughout that period, suddenly explained. My Epiphany had arrived!

To add insult to injury, the latest flirt on Facebook, became the new boyfriend, or rather, the most recent one! So, despite frantic efforts, I could not stop the relationship that I valued, as highly as that with my Children and Grand Children, being eroded to the point of non existence. Worse still, as time goes by, my cherished memories continue to be erased, with great chunks of my life being rendered meaningless on a daily basis.

So what then, of the email question? Do I miss you? Well I found out in another email the next day, that apparently I had mistaken it's meaning. The question was allegedly pointed toward my wife's mother in spirit. As unlikely as this would seem, the answer is, nonetheless 'of course I do'. One cannot live the greater part of their life with someone and not miss them once wrenched apart!

That leads me onto the reason why I have raised this article. The subject matter reaches out to all of us on several levels. I would hope therefore, that the lessons within this piece, are also applicable to a wider audience in some way or other.

The first philosophical observation I would raise, is that the loss incurred through separation and divorce, raises feelings that are not unlike those of the loss of a loved one in death. Whilst love never really dies in such instances, there are still the five phases of 'grief' to be dealt with, both psychologically and emotionally, before one can move on with the subject of loss in general:

1. Denial
2. Anger
3. Bargaining / Compromise
4. Depression
5. Acceptance

Personally, I have been through each stage, suffering loss through both death and the divorce scenario and incidentally, experiencing dramatic amounts of pain throughout each. In my experience, there is huge emotional turmoil to be overcome in the grieving process, during which one can feel lost and vulnerable. Perhaps a point to be recognized here however; is that pain can be relative to the depth of feeling surrounding the loss. Also the key phases, especially in bargaining and compromise, will vary greatly in its terms; from person to person and with the surrounding circumstances.

So how does one get through the ordeal of divorce? In my experience the first task is to think and remain positive and recognize, that the situation is all part of the cyclical nature of life, with all of its ups and downs in general. Essentially, over time, what seems an impossible position at any given moment, should pale into insignificance as time goes by and as other opportunities (and problems) present themselves. Also, one must recognize that people are people, first and foremost and one must accept the premise that a couple, can only stay together through the mutual goodwill of both parties concerned. If any one person, no longer wishes to maintain a relationship with another, then this must be recognized and ultimately respected. Such an issue can certainly not be enforced to the contrary.

Ultimately the point of the exercise is to reach the acceptance stage of the five phases, as soon as possible, thus minimising any pain to all concerned. This may need forgiveness. My own position on forgiveness is reproduced below courtesy and copyright of astralunity.com …

"How can we forgive someone who has wronged us?

For every wrong doing there is an underlying cause. This does not mean that such wrong doing is justifiable but nonetheless, mitigating factors (the other side of the coin) must be considered. Without such consideration there is no balance. The person (s) who would commit the wrong doing would have a reason (s) (justifiable to them at the time) for engaging in such voluntary action. The act of forgiveness is not necessarily the same as acceptance of the wrong doing, nor is it condoning any wrong doing and neither will remove the pain. It is simply the ability to rationalize awareness of the whole scenario and come to an understanding of all the facts, as they relate to human nature and the circumstances surrounding the act. Being able to forgive, demonstrates the ability for evolved thinking and rationalization and is a clear indication of higher spiritual awareness. "

Moving on may require more personal contact to get past any physical blocking of acceptance. Like facing one's nemesis! Maybe that's a question for the new husband, the Children involved and, in my particular case, well … Remember Corrie? What did 'save' me from hitting a parapet at more than 70mph that evening on the M62? Whilst that's the subject of another story, let's just say that a certain Earth Angel, may also have a say on the subject too!

Alan Carter

Many women have the frustrating experience of going out with a guy on one or a few dates, thinking that things go well between the two of them, and then having that guy suddenly stop calling and disappear. It is probably not a big deal when it happens with one or two guys, but if that is your experience with men over and over, it is hard to not take this personally and not start believing that there is something about you that turns men off and makes those men lose interest in you. While every dating situation and every interaction between people is unique and different and thus the reasons behind the guy losing interest are just as different, there are several common causes of that loss of interest beyond the typical "no chemistry" situation and the very common situation where the guy is simply not interested in dating one woman and he is driven toward sexual novelty and varierty regardless of who he meets today.

The following are the six top reason why guys lose interest and what you can do to eliminate those possible causes of losing interest and thus increase your chances of retaining the guy's interest and desire to be with you for a longer time:

1. You are not attractive enough. It is a cruel fact but a very true fact that if a woman is not physically attractive enough, there will still be guys who will be willing to go out with her but that won't usually last. While there is only so much we can do to improve our looks and be more attractive, there is one major step that a woman can take to become more attractive – losing weight. This is not to say that the woman who doesn't have excess weight should lose weight and be thinner – no, that's not the point. The very interesting fact is this: if you are not overweight – if your body is reasonably lean and / or tones, chances are that unless there is some disfigurement in your face or body, you are probably attractive and sexually desirable for most guys. If you are overweight, it is critically important that you start losing weight and building a more attractive body. This will have all kinds of positive consequences on your life – from health benefits, having more energy, more confidence and of course – more attention from men. In short, losing weight and having a more attractive body will change and improve every single moment of your life. There are simply no reasons to wait and postpone achieving this goal any longer.

2. You talk too much. No matter how smart a person is, if he dominates a conversation, he will boring and even tiring to the other person. I and my friends met some incredibly beautiful women over the course of our dating lives, but we simply couldn't stand being around some of them because they simply wouldn't stop talking and wouldn't shot up. While it's obvious when someone else talks a lot, it's not nearly as noticeable when you have to evaluate your own conversational habits. Thus, I encourage you to ask your friends whether they think you talk too much or interrupt their conversation or otherwise dominate your interaction. Encourage them to be honest and not tell you what you want to hear, but instead – tell you how it is.

3. You are too uptight. This girls told me once on the phone that she couldn't meet me because her car broke down, to which I replied: "Well, that's what happens when you let women drive." Instead of laughing at the comment as most women would, she got angry, thought I was serious, hung up on me and later demanded an apology. Few things are bigger turn-offs and are more unattractive than a woman who can't take a joke and who says "Ahh, how dare you!" instead of laughing at an inappropriate comment or a sexual innuendo and dishing one of her own. Dark humor, sarcasm and sexual comments are a spice life and love life for every interesting, ambitious guys. If you are interesting in dating and having a relationship with one, you should consider stopping to take yourself too seriously, open your mind and enjoy dark humor, rather than being intimidated by it or judge it.

4. You are boring. If you don't have much to say, thoughts to share and ways to respond with to what the guy says, thinks and believes in, you are not going to catch a great guy's interest for very long. Boring dates feel like a torture, and no one is interested in going into one or sticking around when they realize that they have to push the conversation to simply fill the time. Surely there is no shortcut to become a more interesting person, but there is a great, long-term solution – you started learning more things about yourself, about your environment and the world. TV, magazines, books, meeting new people, watching shoes, and engaging in social events will give you much more material to think about and form your views on. Surely, there is a lot of junk out there on TV and in magazines, but there is also lots of good material, and it is your duty to choose and "filter" the bad stuff out. As you become a more interesting woman, this will go far beyond improving your dating life and will make you much more attractive and interesting to your friends, and co-workers, and will likely create new social and professional opportunities for you that you didn ' t even think existed and were available to you.

5. You are excessively independent / feminist. For many women it's a life crusade showing and proving to guys and to themselves that they can be all a man can and more in every way. I fully support equality and full opportunities for women. However, when it comes at the account of femininity and elegance – women pay a high price of becoming very unattractive to the opposite sex. It's a fundamental law of nature that masculine, confident, attractive men are attracted to the opposite – feminine women – women who possess a feminine voice, walk, and manners. Don't take me wrong. I would never suggest that a woman should stay home and cook and clean. This is not what it is about. A woman can be very educated and successful and still retain her femininity and be proud of being a woman. Stop hiding the fact that you are different from guys. You are and it's good news – good for you and for men. There is a saying "Bitches get corner office." I seriously doubt it. Part ot being professional and romantically successful has alweays been being a lady, and being a lady and a "bitch" are mutually exclusive.

6. You are a victim of your past – many women have a bad relationship with a guy who is controlling and possessive at least once in their lives. Breaking up with such a guy feels like a very liberating experience – like putting more air in your lungs, like letting your tied wings go free, if you will. A woman who undergoes such a bad relationship in which she submitted to the guy's control and possessiveness, jumps into another extreme with the other guys that she meets later. She makes it a point to show to every guy she meets that she is not going to "obey" him and do what she wants. She will do the opposite from what the guys asks or suggests just for the sake of showing that no one can tell her what to do, and that she decides what she does for herself. This is unfortunate because it creates unnecessary problems and challenges in communication. If you believe that you create such challenges in your interaction with men, you should do your best to not let your past negative experience with a jealous guy affect your present and future interactions with men.

7. You are not a good sex partner. Many women either ruin the romantic tension and the connection with the guy in bed. Few women act in a way that will make sleeping with them a great, memorable experience that the guy is eager to repeat. Some of the big turn-offs for guys are women who are either too quiet in bed (not making any sounds that would indicate their enjoyment and would look like they are bored), or those who talk too much, or say something inappropriate and irrelevant at the very wrong time. Not many women know what they are doing with their hands and their mouth when it comes to the man's body. If a man had a mediocre experience sleeping with you for the first time, he is unlikely to want to do that again.

This might sound extreme, but I truly believe that there is no better way to learn how to be a better sex partner than by observation. Thus, I urge you to not be afraid to rent erotic or even quality pornographic movies that will inspire you and will give you some great ideas on how to make your sexual experience more sensational and satisfying to both you and the guy. Make no mistake about it – this kind of skill is not common, and your guy, especially if he has "been around the block" will appreciate it because he knows that this is not common.

It is impossible to fully protect yourself from dating a guy who will lose interest in you at any point. However, by paying attention to the above six possible issues that you might be having in your interactions with guys, you will dramatically improve the chances of keeping any guy's interest and coming across as a more attractive and desirable woman.

MEAT – (Beef, Chicken, Mutton, and Fish) do not feed only one type of meat to your dog. On different days alternate the meat type.

Meat alone is not enough for any animal, even in the wild; dogs will eat the fur, bones and the stomach and contents. Meat contains NO calcium and very little Vitamins and minerals. The minerals are in the bones.

The Vitamins are in organs and stomach contents (vegetables).

Cooking the meat with rice / pasta and vegetables improves taste and kills worms if the offal you use has not been inspected.

Cooking the meat also destroys the nutritional value, to the extent you have to feed twice as much.

Feed good fresh raw meat. It is o.k. Providing it is palatable to the dog (i.e. some dogs get upset stomachs if the meat is raw).

Feed any type of meat: beef, pork, lamb, chicken, fish (sardines, tuna) and rabbit.

It is best to VARY the meat type as they differ in fat content and the type of essential fatty acids.

Commercial tinned foods are convenient but expensive and can contain up to 70% water.

Although canned food for dogs is well balanced with vitamins and minerals it can affect some dogs with flatulence and diarrhea. Offal should only be added to the meat in small amounts.

Vary the type of offal and don’t give it to your dog too often, because it is rich in vitamins which should not be over fed. e.g. the liver is high in vitamin-A.

Offal is a good appetite stimulant for convalescing dogs and fussy dogs as it is very strong in flavor, added to their meal.

CEREALS – (Puppy or dog biscuits, human cereal biscuits).

These supply a crunchy texture to the dog’s meal that the dog enjoys.

It also adds a new flavour to it’s meal. Biscuits are a concentrated balanced food source, which can be the entire meal if nothing else is available or when physical demands require it. But remember it is concentrated so it is very fattening to under-active dogs. If kept airtight it will last, stay fresh, is readily available and is a reasonably cheap dog food for large breeds.

Make sure the dry food that you buy is of a reputable name and has been researched. Some brands are just full of bulking rubbish. Added to your dogs diet of meat, vegetables, rice and raw bones. ‘Biscuits’ are a well-balanced tasty treat for your dog.

PUPPIES

At 4-5 months of age a pup is losing its puppy teeth and getting its adult teeth, it’s gums may be too tender to crunch up the dog biscuits. 

It helps if you soak some of the puppy biscuits to soften them while it is teething.

EGGS

Egg Improves the coat and is a good source of protein, biotin, vitamins D and B12, iron, chlorine and sulphur.

Eggs can be fed whole and raw.

Eggs can also be fed with the white removed. i.e. yolks only!

One or two eggs mixed with the meal once a week is good for your dog’s coat and a very good protein and vitamin source.

(Raw egg white contains an enzyme that destroys the biotin in the yolk, cooking the egg destroys the enzyme!)

Biotin is needed for strong healthy bones and cartilage.

Eggs contain an excess of biotin in the yolk. This is said to compensate the biotin loss from then enzyme in the white.

VITAMINS AND MINERALS

These are required if feeding meat only.

Or dogs, which have high-energy needs and may not be getting all it needs from the main diet.

i.e.: working farm dogs, breeding / lactating bitches and puppies-especially large breeds.

Most dry foods contain a well-balanced meal with all the necessary vitamins and minerals but have a higher caloric value than tinned foods. Dry food should be avoided or severely limited for obese dogs.

Vitamins can be added to the diet in the form of drops or powder.

They are available from vets, pet shops and stock feeders.

If you are feeding a diet containing meat, vegetables, rice, raw bones and dry dog biscuits then an average dog will not require any additional vitamins.

Vegetables add vitamin A and most of the B group vitamins.

Eggs improve the coat and are a good source of protein, vitamins D and B12, Iron, chlorine and sulphur.

Water-soluble vitamins will simply pass through the dog if they are not needed.

These are: (B Group vitamins, Vitamin C (Ester C not Ascorbic C).

Fat-soluble vitamins can cause illnesses if too much is given. These are: (A, D, E and K).

Mineral supplements can also do more harm than good if not given in a balanced amount. If you regularly feed raw bones you don’t need a mineral supplement for your dog.

VEGETABLES

Green vegetables such as peas, spinach, broccoli, beans, cabbage, carrots and cauliflower. Allow one / or more extra person(s) at your table and add to the meal.

These add Vitamin A and most of the B group vitamins.

You can use any vegetable except onions! Onions cause ANAEMIA. Green vegetables such as peas, beans, cabbage, broccoli, lettuce, carrots, squash, cauliflower and potatoes ANYTHING!

But, be cautious of the amount of vegetables you use that are high in carbohydrates, like potatoes, because your animal may gain excessive weight if it cannot burn it off.

Also too much cabbage does cause flatulence.

The easiest way to arrange the vegetables for you dog, is when you prepare your own vegetables add an extra persons portion to your table for every dog you own. Adjust the amount according to the dog’s size.

Then just mix it in to his / her dinner. Vegetables can be given raw as long as they are blended up into small bits.(pulped, minced or pureed).

Cooking vegetables softens them up and makes them more palatable, but over cooking destroys the vitamin content in them.

Vegetables are cheap and also a good bulking food for large and overweight dogs.

Thousands, if not millions of people, tune in to watch the large televised dog shows, but what they see is only the tip of the iceberg, the Group and Best in Show Competitions. To be sure, these are exciting competitions, as the top dogs in each breed vie for the highest honor at a dog show. However, much more happens at a dog show before those group competitions even begin.

Think of a dog show as a pyramid, divided into three sections:

1. The base and the majority of the pyramid is composed of the Breed Competitions.

2. The next section, much smaller, is composed of the Group Competitions. The many AKC breeds are divided into seven groups. The Best of Breed winner from each breed moves forward to compete in his / her group.

3. A tiny little section at the very top of the pyramid is the third part of a dog show. This is the Best in Show Competition. Only 7 dogs compete, the winning dog from each group competition.

Now, let's take it down to the breed level.

In Breed Competition, no matter what the breed, the individual dogs are judged against a written breed standard, which describes the attributes the "ideal specimen" of the breed should possess. The breed standards include descriptions of head, eyes, pigment, coat, color, bite (ie, placement of teeth), structure, and movement. In an ideal world, the dogs are each judged against the standard and the person showing the dog is ignored. (In the real world, the person on the end of the lead can sway a judge's decision because some judges are prone to award the win to professional handlers and ignore those who aren't.)

So, here is how the classes are run. First, the classes are divided by sex. The males compete against the males. The females compete against the females. For each sex the following classes are available:

Puppy 6-9 – Puppies that are not yet champions and that are between six and nine months of age compete in this class.

Puppy 9-12 -Puppies that are not yet champions and that are between nine and twelve months of age compete in this class.

Twelve-To-Eighteen Months – Adults that are not yet champions and that are between twelve to eighteen months of age compete in this class.

Novice – To compete in this class, a dog must be six months of age or older; must have won less than three first places in the Novice Class; must not have won a first place in Bred-by-Exhibitor, American-bred, or Open Class; and must not have won any points toward their championship.

Amateur-Owner-Handler – Dogs that are at least six months of age and that are not champions must be handled in this class by their registered owner. The class is limited to exhibitors who have not, at any point in time, been a professional dog handler, an AKC approved conformation judge, or employed as an assistant to a professional dog handler.

Bred By Exhibitor – This class is for dogs that are exhibited by their breeder owner and that are not yet champions.

American-Bred – To enter this class, a dog that is not yet a champion has to have been born in the United States from a mating which took place in the United States.

Open – This class is for any dog ​​of the breed that is at least 6 months of age.

Let's say that there are at least 4 entries in each of those classes. Starting with the puppy dog ​​(male) 6-9 class, the dogs are called into the ring. The dogs are identified by a number the exhibitor wears on an armband on his / her left arm. They go into the ring in numerical order. Generally, the judge first lines the dogs up, stands back and takes a quick look at each. S / he may stop in front of each dog to look at head and expression. Then s / he tells the exhibitors to "take them around" the ring and to stop at the examination table. Each dog is placed on the exam table where the judge "goes over" them, examining each dog and comparing its attributes to the breed standard. Next s / he asks each exhibitor to move his / her dog. This is often referred to as a "down and back," since the judge sends the dog away first to judge the dog's rear movement, then back toward him to judge the front movement. Some judges then send the dog around the ring to the end of the line so they can judge the side movement. When all the dogs have finished the movement portion of the judging and are back in line, the judge will stand back and give another look at the dogs before making the placements, sometimes returning to a dog to give a second look or asking an exhibitor to move a particular dog again. Often judges will ask the exhibitors to take the dogs around the ring one last time. Then the judges make their placements.

Each class has the possibility of four placements, and ribbons are awarded for each. First place = blue ribbon, Second = red, Third = Yellow, and Fourth = white.

The next class would be Puppy 9-12 and so on until all the male dogs in the various classes have been judged. The judging routine should be the same for each class.

Next comes the Winners Dog class. The first place winner of each male class is called back into the ring. This time they line up by class in reverse order, with the Open Dog winner being first in line and the Puppy 6-9 winner being last in line. The dogs are again judged, but usually not put back on the table for examination. The dog that wins this class is referred to as the Winners Dog. He gets a purple ribbon and, most importantly, the points toward his championship. After the Winners Dog is chosen, the other winners remain in the ring because the judge has to choose a Reserve Winners Dog (the runner up). The dog that took second place in the class that the Winners Dog came from comes back into the ring to compete for Reserve. For example, let's say the Winners Dog came from the Bred By Exhibitor class. Then the dog that took 2nd in that Bred By Exhibitor class comes into the ring with the winners from the other classes to be judged against them for Reserve. Then the judge awards a Reserve Winners Dog.

Now the judging of the Dog classes is done.

Next come the classes for the females. (At dog shows, the females are referred to as "Bitches," and it is not used in a derogatory sense or in the sense of a curse word. It simply means a "canine female.") The classes are the same and the judging routine is the same. At the end, all the winners of the Bitch classes come back into the ring and a Winners Bitch and Reserve Winners Bitch are awarded.

The males and females competing in these classes are competing for points toward their championship titles. To become a champion, a dog must earn 15 points. Of the 15 points, two of the dog's wins must be major wins. A "major" is a 3, 4, or 5-point win. Five points is the most points a dog can win at one show. The points at each show differ for each breed and are dependent upon the number of dogs of each sex in each breed competing that day. AKC revises its point schedule annually and the schedule is printed in each show's catalog, a book listing each entry in the show by group and by breed.

The final class for each breed is the Best of Breed class. The Winners Dog and Winners Bitch compete with the champions for the Best of Breed award. At the end of the Best of Breed Competition, these awards are usually presented if there are enough dogs in the class for all awards to be given:

Best of Breed – This is the dog judged as the best exhibit of the breed. The Best of Breed may be awarded to one of the champions being exhibited or awarded to the Winners Dog or Winners Bitch, whichever dog the judge deems most worthy.

Best of Winners – This placement is awarded to either the Winners Dog or the Winners Bitch, whichever the judge deems most worthy.

Best of Opposite Sex – This award is given to dog that is the opposite sex of the dog that won Best of Breed. (If a female wins Best of Breed, this winner would be a male, and visa versa.)

Select Dog – A champion male that has not won either Best of Breed or Best of Opposite Sex but the judge finds deserving of an award.

Select Bitch – A champion female that has not won either Best of Breed or Best of Opposite Sex but the judge finds deserving of an award.

The champions are competing for breed points, which will accrue to give them national rankings. A point is given for each dog of the breed entered in the competition. So, if there are 20 Lhasa Apsos entered in a show, the breed winner will get 20 breed points. Best of Breed (if a champion), Best Opposite Sex (if a champion), Select Dog and Select Bitch will also earn points toward a Grand Championship title. Once they earn that title, an accumulation of points earns them a Bronze, Silver, or Gold Grand Champion status.

The Best of Breed winner from each breed entered at the dog show is now eligible to represent his / her breed by competing in the Group Competition. There are seven AKC groups. Since it is this portion of the dog show that is usually shown on TV, most people are familiar with what happens in these groups. The seven groups are

1. Sporting – These dogs were bred to hunt game birds both on land and in the water. Examples include Cocker Spaniels, Irish Setters, Labradors, Golden Retrievers, Vizslas.

2. Hounds – Hound breeds were bred for hunting other game by sight or scent. Examples include Coonhounds, Beagles, Whippets, Saluki.

3. Working – These dogs were bred to pull carts, guard property and perform search and rescue services. Examples include Boxers, Newfoundlands, Akita, Bernese Mountain Dogs.

4. Terrier – Terriers were bred to rid property of vermin. Examples include the Skye, Norfolk, Airedale, Welsh, and Fox Terriers.

5. Toy – These small dogs were bred to be household companions. Examples include Pomeranians, Shih Tzu, Maltese, Chihuahuas, Pekingese.

6. Non-Sporting – This diverse group includes dogs that vary in size and function. Many are considered companion dogs. Examples include the Lhasa Apso, Dalmation, Poodle (Standard and Miniature), Keeshonden, Lowchen, Shiba Inu.

7. Herding – These dogs were bred to help shepherds and ranchers herd and / or guard their livestock. Examples include Briards, Collies, Old English Sheepdogs, Corgis, German Shepherds.

It is important to realize that in the Group Competition, the dogs are not being judged against each other because the standards for each breed are diverse. What the judge is looking for is the dog that best represents the ideal described in its breed standard. From the dogs being exhibited, the judge will select four for his placements. Ribbon colors are the same for group placements as they are for the regular classes: Blue, Red, Yellow, and White.

Dogs competing in the group are competing for group points toward national group rankings. For instance, let's say that there were a total of 233 Herding dogs entered in a show. The winner of that group receives 233 group points. Subtract the number of dogs of the same breed as the winner and the remainder of points goes to the second place dog. Subtract the number of points in that dog's breed and the remainder of points goes to the third place dog, and so on for the fourth place.

Finally, the seven group winners are brought into the ring where they compete for Best In Show , the highest award at a dog show. The Best in Show winner receives points for the win, which will go toward national rankings. Therefore, if a show had a total entry of 2000 dogs, the Best in Show winner receives 2000 points. If a show had an entry of 300 dogs, the Best in Show winner receives 300 points.