Don’t be a nice guy. This is obvious. Girls hate nice guys. You know this. Yet, some guys can’t help but be nice. But what is the root of this behavior? Is this the best way if you want to know how to impress a girl?

No.

Why?

Because being a nice guy really isn’t being a nice guy. It’s being an afraid guy. A nice guy only says “safe” things. Not because he’s worried about her feelings, but because he’s terrified of being rejected. This guy is always walking on eggshells, because getting rejected is the absolute worse thing that can happen.

The next step up is the jerk. This guy is also terrified of being rejected. But he pushes out instead of pulls back. He steps on other peoples toes to scare them away, so they don’t step on his. He’s the bully that runs away crying as soon as he meets somebody bigger than him.

Now, just like there’s a few girls that like softies, there’s a few girls that like jerks. Not really “like” them, but somehow feel attracted to them.

Why? They make them feel safe. As jerky as they are, they can at least protect her. If she goes out with a more sensitive guy, she still may feel in danger. That guy may not fight for her.

But that jerk certainly will. Trouble with him is that he’s not kind.

Enter the Kind Guy.

Kindness is not niceness. Kindness is when you are comfortable in your own skin. You don’t need to push people around.

In evolutionary psychology, they call this the “dove-hawk” strategy. Friendly and passive until they’re in danger, then they destroy everything in their path.

Nice guys are always doves. Easy to walk all over. Safe, but not exciting.

Jerks are hawks. Always fighting, always getting in people’s faces, always ending up in jail.

But kind guys are first doves, so long as everybody is polite. But they quickly turn into hawks if they need to. Speak softly and carry a big stick. Iron fist in a velvet glove.

Girls absolutely LOVE guys like this. They are kind, they have an ultra strong frame, and they can throw down when they need to.

It’s kind of a paradox. When you develop the “kind guy” attitude, people will sense that under that calm exterior is a warrior underneath. And if they awaken that warrior, it will spell certain doom.

On the other hand, having a “kind guy” on your side is the best of both possible worlds.

That’s why if you want to impress a girl, developing a “kind guy” attitude is the surest way to her heart, and in between her sheets.