I remember hearing a story about the great Gary Halbert.

If you haven’t heard of Gary, you’re missing out. He’s seen as one of the best copywriters ever. And even though he passed away a few years ago, his work still very much lives on in.

Anyway, I remember someone telling a story about Gary.

I think it might have been Doberman Dan, who Gary mentored. But don’t quote me on that.

See, the story was this:

Gary went to a copywriting event once. And the cool thing was, you could choose if you wanted to go to the “beginners” event, or the “advanced” event.

Now remember this:

Gary was already one of the greatest copywriters in the world. No question. And you’d presume he wouldn’t have thought twice about putting his name down on the advanced list.

But you know what?

He didn’t.

Instead, he went to the beginners event.

Now, everyone else was baffled. Why the heck would THE Gary Halbert go to a beginners copywriting event? It just didn’t make sense.

Or so they thought.

Yet here’s the thing. Gary said that a lot of copywriters forget the basics. They forget the fundamentals that get results.

Sure, the advanced stuff is cool. But it’s the icing on the cake. No more, no less.

You’re far better off to master the copywriting basics, as opposed to learning all the fancy shit.

And here’s the thing:

So many copywriters don’t do that. They’re looking for that bright, shiny object. They’re looking for that magic pill.

And let me tell ya…

It doesn’t exist.

Period.

The Biggest Copywriting Mistake You Could Be Making

Listen up.

What I’m about to tell you isn’t anything new.

It’s nothing “revolutionary”.

It’s nothing “ninja” and all that bollocks.

Instead, it’s a proven copywriting principle that, if you use in your own sales copy, will see you make more sales.

What is it?

Well, it’s the fact you need to…

Stop Focusing on the Features of Your Product

Know this:

No one cares about your product. They care about the result it gives them.

They care about how it can help them overcome a problem in life, or how it can help them fulfill a pressing need or desire they have.

Let’s say you’re selling a weight loss supplement. Your target market is middle-aged Mum’s who want to lose weight.

In this case, you are not selling a pill or an ingredient.

Instead, you’re selling…

The fact they’ll be able to feel sexy in their favorite dress again…

The fact they’ll have more energy to do fun things with their kids…

The fact they’ll have more energy so they don’t feel like zombies when they get in from work…

The fact their husband won’t be able to take his hands off her and that he won’t have eyes for anyone else…

And, yes, the fact she’ll have more (and better) sex, because she’ll feel super-confident in her body.

Think about it:

If you write copy that focuses on these benefits, and you go up against a copywriter who focuses on the features, who’s gonna come out on top?

You, of course.

It’s not even close.

Should You Ever Mention The Features?

If I’ve given you the impression that you should never mention features, you’d be mistaken.

See, your prospects have two “states” – emotional and logical – and you have to appeal to both of them. If you don’t, then they won’t buy.

And honestly?

They’re both important

So how come I’ve been banging on about selling the benefits over features? Am I not contradicting myself?

Nope. Here’s why:

See, you must sell to the emotional side of somebody’s brain first.

That’s a given.

Your words have to show people, in all its vivid color, how great life will be when they buy your product.

You do this through telling stories. And you do this through focusing on the benefits they get.

But what happens after you’ve “sold” someone emotionally? Well, you then have to back it up with logic. If people don’t believe what you’re telling them, then they won’t buy.

And you do this by telling them about the features. But not in a boring way. Hell no.

You have to use those features to justify why they will benefit from your product.

In the weight loss supplement example, your pill could have a certain ingredient in that speeds someone’s metabolism up, meaning they lose more weight without having to do more exercise.

And so you see, that’s how to use features in your copy.

They’re there to satisfy the logical side of your prospect’s brain.

But remember:

Selling to people’s emotions – selling the benefits they will get from using your product – is the first hurdle you have to overcome.

The product’s features then back-up your claims.

So if I say Magnesium what’s the first thing that comes into your head? I know what my first encounter with magnesium was – it was that metal ribbon stuff I used to steal from GCSE Chemistry then set alight with my mates lighter in the school yard at break time; it flared up like a spark, burnt with a bright white light then disappeared as quickly as it came! Oh and it was difficult to put out too, when you spotted a teacher coming! Thing is, I didn’t realise back then just how important to life that ‘spark’ actually was!

You see, Magnesium is one of the most important minerals in the human body. In fact there are 17 minerals deemed essential to human life 10 of these make up 99% of the body’s mineral content – no guesses here then that one of these is Magnesium – however strangely enough Magnesium is one of the most depleted minerals in the body?!

So what EXACTLY does Magnesium do that makes it so “essential” to life??

Well, for starters it regulates around 325 enzymes in the body, it’s also essential to maintaining bone mineralisation, it aids muscle contraction, it’s used in the passage of nerve impulses around the body. But probably most importantly it’s required for the body to create ATP (adenosine triphosphate) which is basically the body’s source of energy.

So without magnesium there’s no ATP, without ATP there’s no energy, without energy there’s no life! Simples!!

It doesn’t just stop there though; there are literally countless illnesses, symptoms and behaviours that are associated with a Magnesium deficiency. Some of the most important include; heart disease, stroke, osteoporosis, fibromyalgia, arthritis, asthma, PCOS, diabetes and depression etc. etc. – I could go on here but run the risk of boring you! Anyway, you can start to see its pretty important shit right?!

So why is it depleted??

Basically it’s depleted due to the modern day lifestyle. In fact current estimations are that around 80% of the western population are deficient in magnesium!

Let’s start at the bottom up, for starters there’s a natural mineral depletion of our farmland caused by a number of factors including acid rain, soil erosion etc. This then leads to the crops that would commonly contain magnesium (green leafy veg, nuts and seeds) to become deficient in it as they cannot manufacture it themselves out of thin air. So if there’s little magnesium in the soil then plants we eat will contain little or none (the exception here is organic farming). Processed and junk foods that are present in the modern day diet also lack magnesium as significant amounts of the mineral are lost during refining and processing of these foods.

The fluoridisation of tap water in the UK has a horrendous effect on the body’s magnesium supply. Fluoride from tap water basically binds with the body’s magnesium to form magnesium fluoride, making it unavailable for the body to use; a reduction in this then causes a knock on effect and a reduction in enzyme activity in the body.

Other things such as drugs and medication, stress, an excess of certain foods such as soy as well as strenuous exercise can deplete your body’s magnesium supply. When I recently undertook my Muscle-in-a-Month journey, the training was really intense and as a result had to supplement with 600mg of magnesium a day – more on this later though!

So what can I do about it?

The answer to this is pretty easy, eat more foods containing Magnesium. As I’ve already mentioned buy organic foods as there’s more chance that the organic farmers have used a full spectrum of nutrients in their fertilizer. Eat as many raw veg as possible; as when you cook or steam them a lot of the nutrients are lost. Nuts such as almonds, cashews and brazils also contain a high magnesium content – so include some of these in your diet too. One of the foods that contain the most magnesium is chocolate!! But that’s NOT an excuse to go out and eat shit loads of it!! However it is a reason that many people crave chocolate, it’s not always the chocolate they crave it’s the Magnesium.

An example of this is women suffering from PMS – now us guys don’t really understand it all that much Haha!! But basically magnesium is most deficient in women around the menstrual time and as a result a great many women crave chocolate – however instead of eating chocolate you should look to increase your magnesium intake by eating more nuts and leafy green veg or even taking supplements!

Supplementation

By way the easiest way to add more magnesium to your diet is by supplementation. Research shows that supplement with around 400mg of magnesium a day works for most people. There are two ways you can supplement with magnesium, either orally using tablets or transdermal using a spray to apply it to your skin.

If you’re looking to take your magnesium orally you need to shoot for something like magnesium citrate – which ever tablet you go for just make sure it’s not the cheap magnesium oxide variant as it’s about as much use as pissing against a hurricane at replenishing your body’s magnesium supplies!!

Using a transdermal spray you apply Magnesium “oil” to your skin with is then absorbed into your blood stream, it’s not really true oil, just a super concentrated solution of magnesium chloride in water. Applying it transdermal is a quicker way to get it into your system as tablets and capsules must first pass through the digestive system before being absorbed.

So which is best? It’s personal preference really – being a bit of a geek I use both and mix and match as appropriate!

When should I take it?

The best time to take magnesium is 60 – 90 minutes before bedtime, that way it’ll help you sleep much better too, however if you need to split your dose then take Ò½ first thing in the morning and the remainder before bed.

Be sure to build up your dose slowly too, as one sure fire way to know you’ve taken too much too soon is you’ll end up with the shits!! Believe me, I went from 200mg on an evening to 600mg and yep, the shits the following morning! So increase your dose slowly!

Take care and make sure YOU have sufficient magnesium in your diet!

Here’s the truth about singing lessons: they’re bullshit! Unless you get the right ones. If you’ve ever played sports or learned any complicated coordinated motor type skill, you may appreciate how much it sucks to try and UNLEARN an incorrect habit that you picked up from a shitty coach, lack of knowledge, whatever. But the point is, you’ve TAUGHT that action to your body and it’s going to RESIST you as you try to reprogram yourself. Welcome to Suckville, population you.

There’s a lot that a very excellent teacher can do to help you improve your singing, while a poor teacher can seriously screw up your voice both in terms of learning bad habits and actual, physical damage can occur to your vocal anatomy if you practice poor habits.

However, I’m going to make a bold statement: learning to sing can’t be taught. Not fundamentally. YES, your teacher can point out things you’re doing wrong, YES your teacher can suggest a corrective course of action but everything they tell you is also fundamentally inaccurate. Why? Because singing is invisible. Meaning, it’s primarily a kinesthetic skill.

“Kinesthetic” refers to your perception of your own body and its motions, both internal and external. In the same way that a musician develops his ability to listen to musical details that the lay person won’t notice, so does a singer constantly strive to develop a “body map” or an internal, self-consistentrepresentation of their own physiology. This includes learning how to control muscle contractility, how to coordinated extremely fine muscle groups in the larynx, how to breathe correctly (a study in and of itself) and a million other things that nobody else can see (not fully, anyway) but that YOU can learn to fully FEEL. It’s weird because we don’t normally think of this as one of our sense. We say “touch” is a sense but really touch is just a small part of the greater whole of body awareness.

So, when a teacher gives you some kind of advice, you have to try it out, see how your body interprets and implements that suggestion, TRANSLATE it to the language of your body so that it’s internally consistent and be willing to constantly revise it as your body provides feedback to you. Your teacher can’t see this. Even a biofeedback machine can’t see this, but you have this incredibly sophisticated biofeedback device that tells you exactly what’s up in your body, so learn to operate it – it’ll take your your singing to a whole different plane.

The best place to look for a vocal coach is at your local college or university music program. The reason for this is because many professional singers are on staff at a university to help supplement their income and give them some sort of job stability. Your chances of finding a really decent vocal coach here, as opposed to on some flyer, are high.

When you go to meet your potential new vocal coach, you should ask them a lot of questions about their credentials, experience and even ask them to sing for you. I can’t tell you how many singing teachers I see who, when you ask them to sing something, they sound like crap. Out of tune, poor vocal tone, bad diction, you name it. If you encounter this kind of teacher, stay the hell away because they don’t know what they’re doing. Trust your instinct. If they don’t sound damn impressive, they simply can’t help you. If they react in a defensive or evasive way to your request that they sing, tell them straight up: I’m not taking lessons with anybody until I’ve heard them sing. Don’t say it in an asshole way, but be direct; it’s your time and money and remember the saying “garbage in, garbage out.”

I want to leave you with a thought that my grappling coach likes to remind us of: you can watch videos, come to class, learn from a master, blah blah blah, but ultimately, the responsibility to get good falls on you. Only you can make it happen. Get a partner, drill a move a hundred times, then do it a 100 more on the other side. Your coach or teacher could be world-class, which of course is better than studying with some bum who doesn’t know shit, but I put my money on the guy studying with a bum and owning the speed of his progress versus the dude dropping $250 an hour with a decade-long Met singer where the student doesn’t take any action to get the results.

When you realize – not intellectually, but on a deep level that you literally feel in your stomach – that it’s solely on you to make it happen in everything you do in life (getting good at singing being no exception of course), that’s the day you’ll be free. Because as long as you’re counting on others to achieve your successes for you, you’re going to be angry, disappointed and unsuccessful.

New York City. 1986. Three Jewish boys make their switch from punk rock to Hip Hop official, their illing licences granted to them. Was it a total shift in styles? No, it was more like a merger of the two, leaning more towards Hip Hop. Did they prove that the same do-it-yourself aesthetic transpired between the genres? Yes. Is it scary how successful they have been across more than just rock and Hip Hop? Oh yes. Did they even change their names? No. And God help you if you ask who these fellas are, your face shall substitute for a kick drum.

Consistency, consistency, consistency…Beastie Boys have CONSISTENTLY put out quality music. Once upon a time Hip Hop was about having fun, and then they came along and made it about getting damn crazy. Yezzir, these boys are the true originators of crunk without having to resort to it. They may not release music annually, but damn if they don’t blast your ear drums every time they do. And that still applies for Hot Sauce Committee Part Two.

In no way has time and age slowed down Mike D, MCA and Ad-Rock. They still sound as youthful and energetic as they did when they first earthquaked the scene; though you will notice that due to MCA’s recent health complications, his voice is much rougher…but dammit does it work well. Each of their flows remain precise and employing their trademark – though in ways dated – lyrical silliness to accompany the beats. Ah, the beats. Those gargantuan beats.

Entirely produced by the Beastie Boys themselves, the album is a great mixture of live drumming, heavily distorted guitar riffs, heavily distorted bass, and heavily distorted, warped and/or buzzing synthesizers. And of course Mix Master Mike has been brought back working his usual magic on the turntables.

Though the instruments don’t vary greatly, the utilization of them keeps the album sounding fresh almost completely from start to finish. This is owed to venturing outside of its otherwise dominating boom-bap territory and into, say, reggae for the Santigold collab Don’t Play No Game That I Can’t Win, or back to the Beastie’s punk roots on Lee Majors Come Again. Overall, the sounds are not a huge departure from what they were a decade ago, but the quality of it has been maintained so that each track still gives you the urge to Hulk your way through a brick wall [Make Some Noise], get all up in mofo’s face [Here’s A Little Something For Ya], or simply just set fire to, then break some shit [Too Many Rappers featuring Nas].

If you don’t end up with flames emanating from your sound system by the end of Hot Sauce Committee Part Two, don’t blame the Beastie Boys – only blame yourself, for you were not listening to it loud enough, you wuss. But if it made you go ahead and do some crazy shit like in their star-studded short film Fight For Your Right (Revisited) featuring Seth Rogen, Danny McBride and Elijah Wood as the Beastie Boys themselves, well then that there really is the point of great music. So how do you respond and react to the works of these pioneers? Does it make you want to chew through concrete? Smother your boss with a block of cheese? Headbutt a senator? Let us know, and have a grand time listening to Hot Sauce Committee Part Two as you do so.

9/10

Henry Miller was a leading fiction writer of America famous for his autobiographical and surreal fiction. He was a bucking bronco known for profligate lifestyle of booze and strumpets. From America he migrated to Paris for self indulging in an aesthetic trip. His books were labeled as pornographic and once upon a time banned in America.

There is very little philosophy in his writings, though he as aligned to his writings to the theater, opera and music. There are some, sparing amount of tropes in his writing. Most of the days, he is drunk or womanizing. Booze and women are a frequent leitmotif in his writing. He has scant respect for the women he encounters and he treats them as stale sardines.

What would be his philosophy of life? It is one marked of chaotic nihilism and anarchy. He uses profane language. He is not able to make his sexual escapades into lyrical prose akin to poetry. Does he have a brothel of a mind? There is no sublime sensuality in his writing and his writing is marked by the coarse and the vulgar.

There is no literary depth in his writing. One encounters a queasy feeling when one goes through with his writing. His writing is caught up with a male-centered fetish of sadistic nihilism. He is an escape artist who doesn’t want to face the realities of life. Women to him are an obsession and he is caught up in the trauma of an oedipal arrest. One encounters the existentialism of a reprobate mind. Culture for him is a personalized evangelistic dirt. He is caught up in the ethos of self pity and pseudo narcissism of an inflated ego. He is too confident of his writing skills. There is no catharsis in his sexual experiences with women. After the big bang and jerking off, the curtain falls.

There is no personal contentment in his writing. He is a misogynist who ejaculates ugly semen on to the piece paper. He is a desperado caught up in the profanity of his own self created shit. Towards men to his relationship is marred by domination and ego-centeredness. He is an ultimate egotist who is cocooned in shell of despicable malevolence. Reading him one is forced to sink into the shores of degraded nihilism. He engages words in a virulent storm of circumlocution. From plateau to peak he traverses as a locomotive phallus in self proclaimed angst. There is very scant literature and his writing is equivalent to that of a whore monger. He is discontented with life. His feelings are that of a petty criminal and myopic. He does not take the reader to sublime heights of dizzy elevation. The narrative is also fragmented and follows no order of thought. I would like to label him as meretricious writer.

Have you ever had that feeling in your life when nothing is working? You’re feeling down, people you thought were on your side are suddenly against you? You feel the whole world is against you? Unless you are a manic depressive hopefully this only happens once in a blue moon. What do you do when this happens? This exercise is not for people who are depressive and are on medication for their depression. This is for those times when we have lost it for a few days, our confidence has gone. You know you will go back to your old self soon but it’s shit feeling that way you do just now. This exercise should help.

Depending on how deep the mojo losing has gone there are steps you can take to get the mojo back.

It all starts at the start

Recognise when the mojo losing feeling started. Usually there is a trigger event that starts the snowball rolling and the downward spiral of feelings. An example trigger would be falling out with your partner, loss of a job, a failed exam something big but not huge.

Go back to the last known good configuration. This is a computer term meaning that if something goes wrong with a program, revert to a time when it was working okay. It involves going back, in your mind, to the last time you felt good about yourself and the world. This involves visualising yourself in the time when you felt good. Use your mind to the full, get the feelings back, and get the smell, touch, taste, and sounds back. If you can do this a few times a day for the next few days you will see a dramatic difference in the way you feel.

Thank yourself This is important. Feeling down for a few days is not a good feeling, however it reminds us how good our life really is. When we are in the black cloud of feeling down the world is not a good place, when the cloud disappears the sunshine is back. This is the time to thank yourself, thank yourself for your life (it is you who is creating it).

When I do exercises like this it further strengthens my belief that we create, in part, the world around us. If we can control our state of mind we can, effectively, control the world.

A coming-of-age tale for the apathetic generation. The self-loathing yet darkly likable narrator is a college drop-out-turned-accidental-drug-dealer.

Running away from his mothers high expectations and his fathers endless disappointments. He sets out on a journey where sex, drugs and rock ‘n’ roll are daily life occurrences, spiced with the occasional bad karma and crazy girlfriend. God Hates Us All is a fictional story mirrored to a fictional writer Hank Moody’s youth experiences.

As a fan of the show, Hank Moody is defiantly one of my favorite characters to ever appear on the satellite dish. Finding out that the people behind the character released a book in his name, prompted to my immediate purchase of the book. Did I just fell in this marketing gimmick? Nevertheless the book is sweet and short, it barely reaches the 200 pages mark. It’s a quick read. But to say it’s a literary masterpiece is an over statement.

Hank’s continuously failed attempts of happiness is what drives the book and keep you coming back. But from every attempt there is a lesson to be learned and he never wallows to long on his miserable situation. Which gives it a breath of fresh air in societies current over-flood of financial negativity. His almost delusional positivity reflects in the writing. No matter how bad shit gets he always sees a bright side. Even when there really is none to be seen. Yet this aloof kinda bouncing from a story to the next is what makes God Hates Us All a quick and enjoyable read.

Coupled with his frequent references back to Sid and Nancy the story takes a bittersweet turn at the end. Which leaves me as the reader thinking, that’s it? I obviously never expected a satisfactory conclusion to Hank’s New York debaucheries but you still kind of hoped for some needed closure to the story. But it ends as swiftly as it started with no apparent reason. Such is life. Sometimes stuff happens and there is no real meaning behind it.

If you learn anything from the book, it would defiantly be that you choose how to see your situation. No matter how bad it is, It’s your perception of it that’s the deciding factor.

Shit happens. It’s how you deal with it.

All I have to say is that it’s a quick and nice read. You’ll get a good view on how sometimes life just plays tricks on you and you have to dust yourself up and keep going. Well worth read.

“… and though they hurt me so bad, in the fear and alarm… you did not desert me, my brothers in arms”

Dire Straits

As one year ends and another begins, I listen and read the predictions of the direct response marketing industry leading professionals (the kind of marketers that have been around for more than a decade, not the flaky “gurus” on Facebook) for the new year.

Specifically, I look for upcoming trends in what they reveal.

Trends to guide me in my business in the new year.

An always-good practice is to look for certain problems and shortages that your market is experiencing and come up with a solution and a unique approach you can incorporate in your business to stand out and differentiate yourself from your competitors.

You know what turns out to be the scarcest resource in businesses today?

Loyalty.

See, in this modern business world where everything’s cheap (or even free), and everyone seems to be an expert in something, loyalty is king.

How many times have you experienced unloyalty from an employee or partner?

How many stories of shady con men disguised as online consultants or experts?

I know I have.

It almost seems like honest businesses and business owners are nowhere to be found, and those who are honest and loyal are eaten alive.

These thoughts always bring me back to when I served in the Israeli army.

Back when I knew that no matter what happens – when the shit hits the fan – my brothers in arms got my back.

Going to war never worried us – as long as we had each other we knew we’d be OK.

The heroic stories of the legendary Israeli army commanders that seemed to have victory running in their veins always kept our spirits high.

You may say we were just kids dreaming of glory and pride in defending our country, but think of it this way –

What effect would that kind of morale have on your business?

That kind of “Brothers In Arms” spirit is what I always strive for in working with my clients, or as I call them – partners.

In a world where freelancers are notoriously known for being a mere “hired gun”, jumping from client to client, trying to amass as many as possible while being loyal to none,

Loyalty will get you a long way and will ring out in your marketplace like a sniper’s deadly shot through the dark.

How’s that for an original branding strategy?

The term ‘being busy’ or ‘I’m very busy’ or whatever has various levels of manifestations, connotations and concoctions. Of course, there are people who are genuinely busy: like those having 9 to 9 jobs with huge responsibilities and long commuting hours or the full-time housewives who remain extremely busy with daily chores from early morning to late night or the vendors whose ‘business’ depends on their constant presence behind their carts as long as possible or the shopkeepers, sellers and the like.

We mentioned ‘connotations’ and ‘concoctions’ in this regard. This has sound reasons. For many people you must try to define and understand their ‘being busy’ and also, you must try to see through their state of ‘very busy’ status. Whatever are your findings it’s never your business to undermine or ridicule or cast aspersions on such people! Your only job is to understand the state of affairs to illuminate the syndrome of being busy and record your observations.

When you happen to call up one of your long-time friends s/he may immediately apologize, ‘Oh you know. I considered calling you many times in recent past, but I’ve been keeping extremely busy these days… !’ Here, your analysing abilities do count. You must try deciphering his/her apparent ‘business’ in immensely objective terms. S/he could very well be ‘busy’ reclining in the arm-chair enjoying sunlight for long lazy hours or taking a long afternoon nap or having a whirlwind time shopping around or lounging out in the restaurants and bars or taking the pet dog out on evening shit-as-you-like rounds. Well, not to mention the usual social media ‘business’. You can record your observations as per your findings.

You may call up someone on an urgent matter, and that someone may respond, ‘Oh I’m very busy at this moment; please don’t mind… I’ll call you back!’ Don’t feel bad about it and never expect to get a callback. Instead, try deciphering the concerned state of business. That someone could very well be busy just because you may have called him/her during the hours when his/her favourite television shows or movies are slotted or that s/he may be having a great time with some small-talking guests. Or that s/he may be making immaculate planning to optimize attending parties/weddings/birthdays/anniversaries coming up. Just record your findings.

Some cases do not even require efforts of deciphering; these get so crystal clear you know! Like you see somebody meddling with the computer-punching the keyboard, scowling at the monitor, making notes and all that; busy apparently. You never want to disturb him/her, but the circumstances force you ask one mandatory question that requires only ‘yes/no’ or ‘nod/shake head’ responses from the ‘busy’ party. Therefore, you go ahead with the interruption. And, the party responds most offensively, nastily and pugnaciously: ‘Can’t you see I’m so busy… you fool! How dare you disturb me? You should understand that when I’m on a particular track I cannot attend to other issues… just get that straight… !’ You may wonder why such time-consuming quarrelsome elaborations whereas s/he could have settled matter in mere seconds! That does for ‘businesses’ in any environment or at workplaces or homes; you record.

There is apparently no end to your possible observations and recordings. So, we’d like to conclude with one more observation: people in the classes we mentioned in the beginning as genuinely busy never say they are busy when you confront them physically or on phone; they always find time to receive or make personal calls and to greet and meet people/friends while on the job. Unfortunately this may also propel some reactionaries on your side decipher that these people are not actually busy, and free most of the time! One more interesting observation could be that ones are so busy nowadays with their smart-phones that they cannot even think of answering calls palpitating in that same device! In a nutshell, this syndrome of being busy is bound to remain a perplexing human affair. However, you and I can always entertain ourselves with our observations and findings. Oh, I’m really busy now… !

Ever picked up a novel, read it and come to the conclusion that it was not much of a deal, far too long, overblown and containing little meat? I’ve done it often and no doubt will endure it again. I’ve read more than a few short stories that have been padded out and published as novella’s or even full house, novels. Maybe I possess what Hemingway called a “built in shit detector” as I can sense this padding instinctively. It’s become a quirk that irritates me.

I recently read, on Kindle, a novella in the crime-thriller genre. Though competently written, it was packed with unnecessary scenes, sub-plots, dinner table dialogue, descriptions and comments on the dishes being served. A good, serious, editor would have cut this excess baggage out and reduced it to the short story that it truly was.

Is this inflation done by accident or design? I’d say both, but most often by accident. I’m sure many writers simply get carried away by their brilliance and feel they just have to put all this stuff in; they love it so why won’t the reader? I feel it in myself, writing descriptive stuff that reads great, but doesn’t advance the story one jot and even clogs things up. It’s a content editor’s job to bring us back down to earth. But what if we like it up there and don’t want to come down? In this time of digital self publishing this is a problem, right? We just go ahead and publish.

Many writers in this age of Kindle, reject editors seeing them as intruders intent on destroying the purity of their ideas and narrative flow. Why pay someone to cut your work to ribbons and transform your story into theirs? And today such writers are free to refuse all editorial restraint, and publish. A publishing house would exercise control over this foolishness and employ their in-house editors.

On the other hand, I’ve heard of editors encouraging writers to “bulk up” their work in the order off: “It’s good, but it’s a little lean. Can’t you fill it out a bit. Add some scenes, more characters.” It’s wrong I believe.

One of Elmore Leonard’s 10 Tips for writers is: “Always leave out the parts people tend to skip and don’t read.” A fine piece of advice I find. And with it in mind, I try to apply strict self-discipline.

It’s important for writers to recognize who they are and what they are capable of. And a writer who knows his limitations holds a powerful asset. Few writers could seriously take on a War and Peace. It took genius to produce David Copperfield, A Tale of Two Cities and A Christmas Carol; but, like Tolstoy, Dickens was a genius. Such writers are thin on the ground.

Apart from the ability to write well and tell a story, a fiction writer should have good imagination. He should be able to weigh a story idea for what it’s worth. What might make a terrific short story may turn out a poor novel that requires padding to make the weight. But it won’t punch its weight.

A recent short story of mine created a minor sensation when I published it on a Thailand website. I got emails suggesting I turn it into a novel. I thought seriously about it. I could do it, but it wouldn’t be the same story anymore and so I rejected the idea. It’s a short story and it’s going to stay that way.

Some writers are destined for short stories. Jack London, always a favorite author of mine, was one. Jack was a great writer, but he never wrote a great novel. However, he did write a great novella: The Call of the Wild, a literary triumph that’s never out of print and been filmed many times. However, it’s his superb short stories, tales of the Yukon Gold Rush and the Isles of the South Pacific, he will be remembered for. His short piece: To Build a Fire has been voted the best short story of all time. But try to find his novels.

The Kindle led, indie revolution that ended the injustices of the old publishing house dictatorship has no stronger supporter than me. But has not the pendulum swung over too far? For it too has its downside; it’s totally undisciplined. Now anyone can publish anything. And they do.

Meet Priscilla Anne Case, 22 years old, working on the Costco checkout line in Cheyenne, Wyoming. She’s never written anything above an email, but she’s about to write a romantic, paranormal saga, replete with vampires and neo-Nazi white supremacists, in the form of a two thousand word, bodice ripping, trilogy. She may even publish each book as a four part boxed set. Go for it, girl, there’s nothing to stop you.

An old adage has it that if you take one hundred thousand chimpanzees, give each an easel, a canvas and a pallet of paints, in a year you’ll get a Rembrandt. In the indie world it seems we’re still waiting for our literary Rembrandts. But wait. Maybe they’re there; beautiful, superbly written books in all genres, just waiting to be found, hidden beneath the surface of that sad sea of bloated mediocrity that is Amazon’s slush pile.