Hey, when I had it, I definitely didn’t know I did. Even when I got acquainted with the concept, I still refused to accept it applies to me.Was I fooling myself? No, my subconscious didn’t want to even admit I could have something like this going.

Look, if you are above 18 and you are a virgin, you are almost surely a Nice Guy. This however depends on whether you are a virgin because you are gay, very religious, or simply can’t find a girlfriend. My reason was the last one. If your reason was that you can’t find a girlfriend, then you are also a Nice Guy. If you are, stop denying it. Admit it first. It’s not such a big deal. The faster you admit it, the faster you can get on with your life and get to solving this problem.

A lot of guys today seen to have this issue. You should, however feel fortunate, even if you do have the nice guy syndrome. This is because today, we have so many resources aimed at fixing this issue. A decade ago, there was not much information on this subject.

There was also not that much support. A guy back then would easily fall into depression and have no help or assistance with solving it. Today, there are so many experts out there ready to help you. In fact there are many books on the issue, there are also many live seminars, training, and groups that deal with it.

Be grateful for this, because it will accelerate your progress so much more than if you tried to solve it all by yourself. Start looking for others guys that are dealing with the same issues. They will help you, and you will help them.

If you find yourself treated poorly by women, getting pushed around by men, and in general always getting the bad end of the deal with people, I can tell you for certain that you have the Nice Guy Syndrome. Period.

"Do girls like jerks?" This is a question most of us ask ourselves when we see a hot girl dating a guy who is known to be a prominent jerk. Well, unfortunately, the answer is "yes" they do. Girls do like jerks and most guys are dumbfounded by this fact, especially the Nice Guys.

So why is being a jerk is attractive to hot girls?

A few years ago, I asked myself the same question: "why do girls like jerks?" They're associated with all of the bad qualities of a guy. They're inconsiderate, mean, rude, selfish, and some aren't even that good looking. Even still, girls want to be with them. Not only that, girls are magnetically attracted to them. Weird right?

For me, it took years to understand why girls like jerks. But let me try to explain what I learned in years, what you can learn in minutes.

Basically, what attracts men to women is extremely different than what attracts women to men. Men, in general get turned on by a woman's physical appearance. Besides the face, nice body, nice boobs, and nice butt are three things we look out for in particular. Women, on the other hand, do not get turned on exclusively by a man's physical appearance. Women get more turned on by how a man behaves. For most guys, this is the very reason why we do not understand why do girls like jerks.

So, if you're asking yourself "Do I need to be a jerk for girls to like me?" The answer is "no." But you should at least have a better understanding of some of the core qualities that most jerks possess that girls do like:

1. Alpha Male
Women go for the Alpha Male of the group. The leader. The dominator. If you compare jerks to the Nice Guys, 9 out of 10 times, jerks will display more leadership and more dominance than Nice Guys.

2. Security
It's natural for a woman to want to feel secure at all times if possible. Naturally, women want to be protected and being with a jerk gives them the feeling of security. Yes, jerks may be mean and rude sometimes, but at least they won't back down when it comes to sticking up for the girl that they're with.

3. Confidence
Girls love confident guys and most jerks are confident, if not over-confident. Jerks talk and carry themselves in a way that screams "I own this place." Girls do not want a guy who is unsure of himself.

4. Unpredictability
Jerks are unpredictable. Without even trying, jerks always keep a girl guessing. They do things to please themselves instead of to please the girl. Very counter-intuitive, yes, but this is what works with women.

5. Challenge
Most women like jerks because they present much more of a challenge than Nice Guys. Women want excitement. They want to be the one who, at the end of the day, "tames the tiger."

Now you should have a better understanding of why do girls like jerks. Again, you don't have to be a jerk if you don't want to. But try to master these qualities so you can experience firsthand why these things work so well.

Howdy Everyone!

I've made this dreaded mistake in my writing for a long time.

But here's the kicker.

I didn't even realize I was making this mistake until I was told that my writing was coming off creepy and manipulative … like a nice guy.

Ouch.

Not something no one wants to hear, especially copywriters and content driven businesses.

Which brings me to my point.

This is a mistake that many content driven businesses, email driven businesses and copywriters make and don't even realize it.

The dreaded nice guy mistake.

Let's get to it …

Writing in a passive voice.

Think on this about the "Nice Guy,"

When you're being "nice," to someone your not being yourself. Your being a manipulative little weasel because you want something from the other person. And those on the receiving end of your kind gestures notice it, feel it and dread it.

When you're that "nice guy," you finish last.

And guess what? Your readers can see that "nice guy," in your writing. And that type of writing is called writing in a passive voice.

But that's not all …

Writing in a passive voice also cause problems like …

… turning your writing into a mosh pit of clutter.

Your ideas become lost, you don't speak in a direct voice, and you lose all your power in your writing making your call to action weak.

So how can you fix this, "passive voice." problem?

First …

What is a "Passive Voice?"

In a passive voice sentence the subject is acted on the verb. You never want to write in a passive voice. All of your content, emails and copy have to be in a direct voice.

What is a "Direct Voice?" (Also known as Active)

Direct voice is when the subject does the action of the verb.

And this is where you want your writing to be at.

Look at these examples and guess which one is active and which one is passive.

… Demetrio ate all six shrimp at dinner.

… All the six shrimp were eaten by Demetrio .

Can you guess which one is passive and which one is active?

The top sentence is the active and the second sentence is the passive.

Here's some more examples …

… Click on the link Right Now to get your Deep Rapid Cleansing Skin Formula and say goodbye to Acne FOREVER.

… If you want to buy the Deep Rapid Cleansing Skin Formula to treat your Acne then click on the link.

Do you see the difference? Do you see how having a passive voice in your writing can make you sound like a manipulative sociopath and kill your response, content and sales letter?

But that's not all …

… You can't forget about the specifics about what ever it is your writing about (or telling) You have to be clear, and specific because your message gets lost.

Here's an example for Hillary Clinton when she accepted the presidential nomination ..

First lady Michelle Obama reminded us that our children are watching, and the president we elect is going to be their president, too.

And for those of you out there who are just getting to know Tim Kaine – you're soon going to understand why the people of Virginia keep promoting him: from City Council and mayor, to Governor, and now Senator.

He'll make the whole country proud as our Vice President.

And … I want to thank Bernie Sanders.

Bernie, your campaign inspired millions of Americans, particularly the young people who threw their hearts and souls into our primary.

You've put economic and social justice issues front and center, where they belong.

And to all of your supporters here and around the country:

I want you to know, I've heard you.

Your cause is our cause.

Our country needs your ideas, energy, and passion.

Now let's look at a excerpt from Trump.

When I see the crumbling roads and bridges, or the dilapidated airports, or the factories moving overseas to Mexico, or to other countries, I know these problems can all be fixed, but not by Hillary Clinton – only by me.

The fact is, we can come back bigger and better and stronger than ever before –Jobs, jobs, jobs!

Everywhere I look, I see the possibilities of what our country could be. But we can't solve any of these problems by relying on the politicians who created them.

We will never be able to fix a rigged system by counting on the same people who rigged it in the first place.

The insiders wrote the rules of the game to keep themselves in power and in the money.

Do you see the difference?

When you read Trump's speech he goes into specific details about what he going to do and why he is running for president. Clinton's speech is more vague and muddled. Because of her lack of clarity in her messaging her platform was confusing as hell.

How Do I Fix My Passive Problem?

To fix this problem is to be more specific and detailed when you write copy or when you write your emails. Be clear about your message. If you have a editor use him! Give him your copy, content or email and have him mark out the passive sentences.

Use Microsoft Word. When you use spell check the program also looks for any passive sentences.

Second become aware that you're writing in a passive voice. Learn to recognize passive sentences in everything you read. You'll start to notice that the world is full of people writing and speaking in a passive voice (even the mainstream media!)

When you become aware of the passive writing you'll instantly know when the passive sentences in your writing.

Another thing you can do is recognize the subject in all of your sentences. Re-write the sentence and make the subject do the action of the verb.

Always keep your audience in mind when you write. Remember you write to them and not to yourself.

Till Then, Stay hungry

Demetrio R.

Have you ever heard of the term “nice guys finish last?”

I know, I know . . . I think I have an idea on what’s going on in your mind right now, you’re probably thinking “No, that’s not entirely true, I don’t agree with that. Women LOVE nice guys. Women love men who opens doors for them, takes out seats for them and treats them like a queen. Jerks might win their heart in the beginning, but then nice guys always get the girl in the end . . .”

Well for the record . . . YOU’RE WRONG.

I don’t know what rock you’ve been living under for the past five years, but this is the 21st century my friend! I do agree with you on one point though, women do LOVE nice guys. They love them as friends, or as best friends, or as big brothers, or as cousins, etc. . But unfortunately, women would very RARELY like a nice guy to be their boyfriend.

Now before I get any violent reactions, let’s talk about the term “NICE”. What would qualify as a nice guy?

Here are some examples:

1 A nice guy is a guy who appears to be so weak that it seems as if even Hanna Montana can beat him up.

2. A nice guy is a guy who is needy, clingy and revoltingly insecure. He’s so concerned with winning a woman’s attention that he’ll do ABSOLUTELY anything for her.

3. A nice guy is a guy who’s too damn available ALL the time.

4. A nice guy is a guy who apologizes all the time even though he didn’t even do anything wrong.

5. A nice guy is a guy who hangs onto every word you say and then agrees with every point you make.

6. A nice guy is a guy who is simply just TOO MUCH. He’s the type of guy that would bring flowers, chocolates and a big teddy bear on a lunch date.

Now do you know how women respond to nice guys who are simply just too much? Here’s what they tell their friends about them:

“He’s so nice . . . but . . . I’m BORED.”

Or

“He’s so nice . . . but . . . I don’t think I deserve him.”

Or

“He’s so nice . . . but . . . there’s just no sparks between us.”

Hard to accept isn’t it? I know, I know it hurts . . . why don’t you come over here and cry it out on my shoulders sweet pea . . .

I’m assuming that you probably got your “super nice guys get the girl at the end” mentality from your dad and your Vietnam war veteran granddaddy. I hate to bust your bubble here bub, unfortunately that’s not how it works in this day and age.

Let’s take a look at four of the most significant notions you have to be aware of when it comes to attracting women:

1. The heart is IRRATIONAL.

We can’t CHOOSE who we FALL for. I know it sucks, but that’s just the way life works so you just have to DEAL with it. Attraction can just happen in an instant without warning, you can’t really direct your heart which direction to go and you can’t CONVINCE her heart to choose you either so don’t even bother trying.

2. Beautiful women have PLENTY of options.

Beautiful women have hundreds of options, that’s common sense right? She gets hit on in clubs, in libraries, in shopping centres etc. She also has a number of close friends who are just “pretending” to be close friends but in reality, can’t really wait to “get it on” with her. They pretend to be the BESTFRIEND yet what they really want is to be the BREASTFRIEND though. That’s why for any beautiful woman, every look, every good deed, every sweet word is in one way or another is deemed as INTEREST. Maybe not all the time, but most of the time that plays on her mind because almost every guy she’s been in contact with has shown interest at some stage.

3.The heart is ILLOGICAL. It doesn’t follow any rules.

When you think about the concept of attraction, it only makes absolute sense that women should be drawn to nice, polite, well educated, honest gentlemen right? But then why do so many women fall for Jerks and Bad boys? Where’s the logic in that??

There’s NO LOGIC period.

4. Women crave for SECURITY and STATUS.

I know that this might seem unfair, unfortunately women are almost BY NO MEANS attracted to men of “lower status” than them or whom they feel can’t give them any security. This is why particular stereotypes exists, such as women not liking men with no jobs and no future, and women not liking men who looks and sounds like Steve Urkell. They want a MAN not a LADY-BOY.

Now, if I had to describe the one massive blunder that men make with women, the one that causes the most heartache, then I’d have to say that it would be . . .

BEING A NICE GUY, AND EXPECTING HER TO FALL FOR YOUR “NICENESS.”

Have you ever pursued a woman with flowers, chocolates, and expensive gifts, only to have her say “she doesn’t know what she wants right now” and needs “time to think”. . . which eventually led to her to seeing you as “just a friend”?

Have you ever met a woman and given her a nice compliment, only to have her look the other away and show signs of boredom?

That’s what happens when you’re too nice. Bottom-line? NICE GUYS don’t spark off ATTRACTION.

Too much of a nice guy is BLAND. They’re too needy and clingy that it’s nauseating.

Now, the first reaction most guys usually have when they hear this is shock and awe because being nice is what their mommies taught them ever since they were a little kid. So when they hear this disturbing piece of news they say things like “But I don’t want to be a jackass” or “I like being a NICE guy” or “I’m just trying to be MYSELF that’s all . . .”

Don’t worry, I feel you Dawg.

Well here’s the thing, you don’t need to be a “jackass” or be “mean” to women, you just need to learn how the concept of attraction works and to STOP being too damn nice.

Do you know what really attracts women?

GENTLEMEN with a hint of BAD BOY swagger.

Yes that’s right, you heard me, if there’s one thing that triggers the attraction switches of an attractive woman, it’s the guy’s ability to be a gentleman but still retain a hint of cocky and arrogance. Someone who’s not really up himself, but instead, knows how to tease his way into a woman’s heart.

I still strongly advice opening doors, lending a jacket when the woman feels cold, walking on the outside of the curb, and pulling out chairs. You know, the usual knight in shining armour stuff. Men hardly do that anymore in this day and age, so it’ll make you stand out. Being a gentleman is a great quality to possess indeed, however, you need to let her know that you can be a “BAD BOY” sometimes as well. For example:

You can pull out a chair for her and then say something like “This whole gentleman thing is a very rare occasion ok? So you better make the most of it whilst I’m still in a “nice guy” zone.”

Or you can also pretend to dust off her seat before she sits on it and then say something like “there you go your highness” and then flash a teasing grin afterwards.

Or you can also spit out implied compliments like “now don’t go acting all high and mighty with me just because you’re cute ok?”

Get it??

Most men don’t understand how a woman’s mind works, that’s why they get shocked to their core whenever jerks steal their women from right under their very noses all the time.

Let me share with you some basic facts about men and women:

Most women by nature play the “coy” angle. They play hard to get and they want men to chase them. Men on the other hand are strong, dominant and aggressive by nature. Most men are generally considered rough and tough, they’re supposed to be SOLDIERS by nature.

But then here’s the punchline:

Most men don’t ACT like men when they’re in the company of a woman that they are interested in. Instead, they act too damn nice and too damn pathetic, kinda like a LADY-BOY.

Guess what?

It’s not “hot”, it’s not endearing and it’s not desirable AT ALL. It actually FRUSTRATES women!

You first meet a woman whom you are really interested in, plucked up the courage to start an amazing conversation with her and then she even agrees to go out on a date with you! You are really happy as it seems as though your luck is changing when it comes to your romantic life, and so you do everything you hear women saying what they would like a guy to do for them: taking her out to nice restaurants, buying her things and showering her with compliments and so on. But then… something happens, She stops returning your call, she starts becoming distant and she says the words guys would not want to hear: “I like you more as a friend.”

Does that sound all too familiar to you? But you probably hate it more when she ends up being with another jerk or ‘badboy’ just 2 weeks later! So why did she lose interest in you in the first place?

First of all, you have to got to realize that being nice is not equivalent to being attractive. A woman’s attraction instinct is genetically programmed to guide her towards a man who will meet her basic need for safety and security. Most women say otherwise because this all comes really naturally and they probably aren’t even aware of this fact. If you doubt this to be true, just look for a woman who is attracted to a man who seems to be a slightly obnoxious ‘jerk’, and ask her what she actually sees in him. I am sure that 90 % of the time her answers won’t even make any sense at all, and sometimes she might even tell you she’s not even exactly sure herself!

So why would she still want to be with him? The reason is simple, because that guy is able to make her feel safe and secure, and that makes him really attractive to her. Of course this doesn’t mean that women are attracted to men who are disrespectful and men who mistreat them.

So how do you actually strip yourself of that ‘nice guy’ title and yet not be a complete jerk? It’s really simple yet difficult at the same time, as it would take a lot of self-analysis to be able to do so. Most of your guy friends probably would be clueless when it come to these things, and of course it would be even more pointless to seek your female counterparts for help. You just need to realize when you are treating women differently from the way you would treat a normal person, treating them as though they are of a higher social value, and stop doing that! That’s really all there is to it.

Let me tell you something, I was a victim of severe bullying myself. However, I only saw myself as the victim at that time. Today I don’t feel like a victim. Now, I see a whole other dynamic. You see… I was never a victim. I was the one who looked the most weak and wimpy. so that I allowed everyone to take advantage of me.

Of course, being weak and a nice guy shouldn’t give other kids permission to bully you, but hey, that is how the world works. Nice guys get bullied, accept that.

There is a reason for this

Nice guys usually end up victims because they don’t give even the slightest of resistance. They think that being nice and giving in all the time will ultimately save them from all the trouble. Remember, even though the physical bullying might happen only at a school-age, psychological bullying might continue your whole life.

Let me tell you my short story. In school, I was physically big, but I had absolutely no confidence and no self-esteem. I was one of the biggest victims of bullying in my school. They usually had no reason to pick on me, since I didn’t cause any trouble for anybody. But what does that matter? They didn’t need much of a reason. They say that children tend to be evil. I think that is not true. They tend to be the same as adults, the only difference being that kids are more honest and will not hide their intentions so much as adults will. Children will act it out, while adults will passively aggressively channel it in other ways.

I was picked on simply because I looked like an easy target. I was smiling all the time, so afraid to get into situations that would produce conflict and tension. I was horrified of getting even close to women, let alone talking to them or attempting any flirtation. It was not a nice experience, but I learned a lot from it.

Has it ever happened to you? Have you ever had the experience of liking a woman, being a perfect gentleman, and treating her like a queen, only to have her reject you in favor of someone else (possibly very handsome) who doesn't treat her right, or doesn ' t seem to care about her much at all? These kinds of men have been called "bad boys," "charm boys," or "players." When you are interested in women, do they tend to see you as a friend or "brother" rather than a romantic interest? Do women tell you you're "too nice"? If so, you are not alone. This article will give you, the nice guy, some tips on how to use charm-boy traits to your advantage, while retaining your nice-guy values.

Let's brainstorm for a minute. What makes charm boys or players attractive? They are fun, spontaneous, unpredictable, mysterious, and act as if they don't care what others think of them (also known as confidence). They follow their own rules and don't let others (including their dates) walk all over them. And they often look good.

So what can you do? You don't have to engage in risk-taking behaviors in order to succeed with women. Suggest some "safe" ideas on the spur of the moment; for example, "Let's go get some sushi / ice cream / a Margarita," or, "Let's go for a drive and see where we end up." If this is not the usual "you," you may enjoy your new-found spontaneity. You can be mysterious / unpredictable without violating your principles. Don't call her the day after getting her phone number or the day after a date. Give her time to wonder whether you'll call; keep her guessing. People often want what isn't easy to get, and women like a little challenge.

You're the man. Many women are looking for men who are confident and decisive, who can be relied on to get things done. On a date, take command but don't be pushy. Always have a Plan A and a Plan B, so you don't miss the concert just in case the restaurant loses your reservation and there's a 1-1 / 2-hour wait. But always be flexible, in case your date hates Chinese food, for example, or she just told you her favorite musical group is in town, tonight only.

Low-cost dates conducive to getting to know each other include the zoo, a museum, or miniature golf. In addition to saving you money, these low-cost dates also minimize the feeling that you have to "spoil" her or "buy" her affection with an extravagant wining-and-dining evening. And if she likes you, she won't mind a "cheap" date; she just wants to be with you.

Keep it light and upbeat. Don't be needy or act nervous. You might be a bit anxious while on a date, but she doesn't need to know that. Keep things light and humorous, and pay attention to her. That in itself will help you take the focus off you and help you feel more confident. And be a gentleman (you're already good at this). For example, always offer to pick up the tab unless she insists on paying, open doors for her, etc. But don't overdo the gifts, lest you appear desperate.

Let her talk. This is where nice guys have an advantage. Most women like to communicate verbally and welcome the chance to be heard. (But make sure you listen; don't just let your mind wander.) She will be impressed if you remember details about things that are important to her, such as her pet's name or her favorite book. If you met her online, review her profile for questions you can ask her about her interests.

Neatness counts. Take another hint from the charm boys. You don't have to be a Brad Pitt look-alike, but make the most of what you have. Review your grooming, clothes, and accessories with an objective eye. If you want feedback, ask a friend – possibly a female friend – for honest input. Or tune into one of the new TV shows which focus on wardrobe / grooming tips for men.

Have a life (and a backbone). Just because you are dating a woman does not mean you drop everything else (including your own friends, hobbies, and interests). After all, relationships can come and go. Keep being yourself. You are not always at her beck and call. When you really don't want to do something (for example, if she wants you to cancel your ballgame or night out with your friends to go shoe shopping with her), it's okay to decline. Telling her no may be difficult for nice guys, but if she's worth keeping, she will respect you for this and value her time with you more. To soften the blow, you might offer her an alternative get-together. For example, "Sorry I can't make it on Saturday. How about I take you to that new play you've been wanting to see on Sunday instead?"

How does she rate? Remember: You have the right to evaluate her, not just the other way around. Does she deserve a second date? Is she relationship material (if that's what you're looking for)? Just because she's attractive / smart / classy doesn't necessarily mean she's right for you. Does she treat you well? Is she kind? Does she have decent self-esteem? Is she giving? If you're looking for a long-term relationship, can you see yourself still with her in 20 years, when some of the supermodel looks may have begun to fade?

The good news for nice guys is that as women get older, perhaps having survived a bad-boy heartbreak or two, they are more likely to appreciate nice guys. Make a list of your good points, the qualities you have to offer. Keep at it. And start believing that you are a catch (or at least act like it)!

Late last year I had an awesome telephone conversation with a colleague. During our call, I admitted that I have never been a great hunter in my business. What he said in response really caused me to think,

“That doesn’t surprise me; you’re too nice.”

A few days later I repeated this conversation to another friend of mine and we discussed people in a similar field who we are good hunters. Although each person is friendly no one would use the word ‘nice’ to describe them.

For several weeks I asked myself if nice guys can actually transform into hunters. What is the difference between a nice sales person and an effective hunter? A subsequent conversation with Mike Weinberg revealed the key difference.

Hunters aren’t afraid of conflict whereas nice people usually try to avoid conflict.

In terms of hunting for new business, conflict arises when the sales person pushes for an appointment or a meeting even after they have been told no several times. Conflict occurs when a prospect is ready to disconnect the call but the hunter keeps them on the line by asking another question. Conflict happens when a nice sales person senses they are intruding on the other person’s time and rather than ignoring it, they succumb to it.

That got me thinking

What is it about conflict and rejection that bothers nice sales people so much?

The first is that it goes against their natural and instinctive desire to be liked and accepted by others. It doesn’t matter if the other person is a complete stranger nice people want—and need—to be liked. Here’s a personal example.

Shortly after I first began issuing my weekly newsletter in 2002, I received an email from someone objecting to a comment I made. I can admit it now that I almost freaked out. I was stressed out the entire day thinking that I had offended one of my readers. I failed to realize that controversy is perfectly acceptable and that it is impossible for me to please everyone. It sounds silly but that type of situation happens regularly for nice sales people.

I can just hear hunters as they read this. “C’mon! Suck it up!” “Grow a pair will ya!” “It’s just prospecting, it’s not personal.” “Get a backbone why don’tchya!” That’s easy for Driver-type personalities. They don’t take ANYTHING personal and the only thing they care about is getting results and not failing.

So, let’s go back to my original question

Can nice sales people transform themselves into good hunters?

I believe the answer is yes. My good friend Mike suggests that a friendly, process-driven person CAN learn how to hunt and reject the rejection. However, it takes a significant amount of work, effort and energy, not mention daily practice. It requires regular coaching, dedicated focus and the ability to work while feeling uncomfortable. This is not an easy task for a relationship oriented sales person. However, it is achievable.

And, if a nice sales person is willing to make the necessary commitment to changing, they may just transform their business.