How to attract beautiful intelligent women and keep them!

Each and every day I meet successful stylish men who open up to me and reveal they are confused. Men today are unsure of how to talk to women let alone approach or capture the attention of attractive intelligent women.

I like to call this the gender confusion, today women are becoming more and more masculine, powerful at work and increasingly aloof not knowing when to be feminine and soft leaving men with no idea how to act amongst these new super independent mystery women. Sound familiar? You are not along even the most outwardly confident men are searching for the answers.

Should they be arrogant? Should they be aloof? Do women want a bad boy? Do Mr Nice guy ‘s always end up as friend?

The confusion often results in nothing evolving except a string of games followed by sheer exhaustion and ultimately escaping what could have been the bliss of two becoming one!

A little cliché I know but it’s the cupid coming out in me…as I always say I love to be in love!

The good news is with a little direction you can make an impact and capture the woman you have always wanted.

OK let’s start with the basics… You don’t need to be tall, good looking rich, a face like George Clooney and body like Mathew McConaughy?

Women love adventurous, unpredictable men! They like men that are fun to be around with and have a great sense of humour and simply make them feel wonderful! Read on to find out more how to stand out to the crowd and attract attention of that beautiful woman you desire.

1. Be Intriguing – have a story to tell, interests, have an adventurous spirit, get amongst it, get out there on the water, into the gym, kayak, play sport, live life with passion whether it’s building things, music or making a difference.

2. Be Mysterious – reveal each layer of yourself slowly. Let her discover you and your hidden talents!

3. Family values – Women love a man with good family values, believe it or not she is observing how you interact and treat your mother and sister.

4. Be Emotionally in control – When on your date, don’t sweat the small stuff! It is true, getting stressed out due to the traffic or the long wait at the restaurant or not getting the best table will make you look like hard work and a out of control. Women love a calm man that takes control. Instead keep the situation light and calm a girl loves to hear everything will be ok, it really is her dream!

5. The Ex – OK so we all have a past, my motto is it is the past for a reason and before you divulge ask yourself will benefit your new relationship? Most likely not! Focus your energy on the new and look at what you would like to achieve, never blame or be a victim it is a huge turn-off !

6. Persistence – Women love a persistent man, give up to early and you could risk losing out on capturing her attention. Sought after attractive woman will often have many men asking her out daily, stand out with persistence and she will place her attention to you. I know so many women that don’t make the time to meet a man until she knows he is ultimately worth it and persistence will certainly pay off in the long-term.

7. Be Spontaneous – think outside the square. Be fun, daring take a chance and be unpredictable.

8. Listen an engage -find out her passions, is it a healthy lifestyle, the beach, the mountains, vineyards, a passion for the arts, music, travel, remember her favourite foods, favourite activities. Take some time as you date and surprise her with one of her passions she will love you for it!

9. Smell good and be stylish- Women love a man that smells good! Keep fresh, splash on a sexy cologne, have clean nails, teeth, breath!! Keep your wardrobe updated, no need to be a fashion guru just ensure you have a nicely fitted suit, good jeans, nice shirts. It is amazing what a few good threads can do for you. If in doubt make friends with your local shop assistance for some style tips or better still hire a stylist!

10. Be generous – No matter how successful women are, ALL women love to be looked after!

Remember relax be yourself and take control and you too will attract beautiful women!

It was during my time working in England a few years ago when I first wondered about the jealous-man-syndrome. On the way to my apartment at the end of each day, the sight of men sitting patiently in their cars waiting to pick up their wives or girlfriends at work impressed me. Not until one day when a woman friend said that her man always insisted on picking her up after work on the dot each day. If she needed to go for a drink or anywhere else for that matter, she had to tell him in advance. I realized in retrospect that what I was impressed about as men who were taking good care of their ladies were really not there in the parking space for the best of purposes.

It is interesting to note that the biggest problems in the dating scene are the controlling and jealous men who are anxious to seek someone to love and relate with. Yet when they have her, they do subtle things to subject her to a sense of reliance on him, hiding behind the mask of “loving her and wanting the best for her”. At first, the woman will not notice it; in fact she will probably feel elated at the attention that she is getting from her man. And why wouldn’t she? His charm and good-looks make everyone think he is prince charming; he appears like the world is at his fingertips; and she feels everything is so heavenly! But little did she know that she will later discover that Mr. Nice Guy isn’t what he is after all.

Now, how can a woman spot Mr. Jealous and Mr Controlling? This is probably the initial difficulty of every woman who is out there in the dating scene. It will be helpful if we outline the observations on how a controlling and jealous man behaves.

A jealous and controlling man lacks self confidence or self esteem. This is the key issue here; it is the root of the matter. All too often he feels uneasy about himself. Why is this so? Because he doesn’t truly believe that he deserves this amazing wonderful woman; he thinks he isn’t good enough to be her man. And deep inside, he believes she can do better than him.

Mr. Jealous and Controlling lacks self belief. He thinks his woman will be taken from him. He has this picture in his mind that at any moment she will escape from him or that she is looking for some means to be out of his world; and worst, he is thinking that she does not really love and want him at all. You see, first of all, the man does not know how to love himself so he cannot comprehend why she would love him. As a result, he will stop believing her or her loving words and disregards all she does for him.

This is the beginning of Mr. Controlling’s predicament. He begins to think of ways for her to depend on him and increase her sense of reliance. “If she is really thinking of leaving me, I should be able to make her stay. But how? Simple, I will cause her to be so dependent on me for everything. I should make her want and need me and desire to be anywhere with me even when I am with my male friends.”

As the relationship progresses Mr. Controlling will think of ways to ascertain that you will be there where he always sees you. Even though deep down, the man does not love himself, he is desperate to know that you do; and he needs to see proofs as to what lengths you will do things for him. So he will fabricate situations to make you stay home with him and your social life will begin to dwindle. Instead of having your regular time with pals, you will be with him, assisting him in all his needs in the guise that this is necessary in building the romantic relationship. After all, you’d want to spend most of your time with your man. Little by little, he will move you away from your circle of friends, even concocting stories that these people are not really true to you. You will not be aware but he is beginning to isolate you from the social world to serve his own needs.

After he has succeeded in making your world revolve around him, he will try to lower your self esteem by passing judgment on you and making you feel awful about yourself. He will criticize the way you dress, how you do things, your work, or even your personal values.

He will make you think that none else would ever like you and that you should be grateful for having him around to love you despite of who you are. He will say you are so fortunate to have him. Slowly, that degree of reliance and fright will develop inside until you are made to think that indeed what he is saying is true. You will lose your own identity; your friends will be concerned about it but you will dismiss them or make excuses because your man has already managed to control your way of thinking.

In what specific ways does he show his control over you? (And you allow him to…)

• He interferes with your social activities. He is overly concerned about who you go out with, when and where.

• He insists on going with you anywhere, even to mundane places.

• He wants to know where you are by calling excessively.

• He makes you feel ugly and inferior and tries to put you down. He shows disgust about your looks and orders what you should wear.

• He shows violent annoyance and antagonistic attitude. He overreacts even to minor details.

• He insinuates dominance in domestic circumstances; he wants to be in control of everything inside the house.

• He does not want to communicate or discuss; he always has the last word.

Now he made it. You are now at the position where he desires you to be – secluded from others and subjugated by him; a woman without a sense of identity but only full reliance on him. And he feels good about himself for achieving this. In the eyes of your friends and in the social arena, he is still Mr. Nice Guy. But deep inside you is a feeling of dread for social life because coming home and confronting him will be a tough time again. It will be like a broken record constantly repeating a bad sound – you fully depend on him yet he does not trust you and he keeps thinking that you don’t love him and you are going to walk away. This is why he keeps doing these things to you – he needs a constant proof that you love him. And because you are already under his control, you keep doing what he wants… A vicious cycle indeed!

Hey, wake up! Is this why we go on dates and have a relationship with someone? Sure, you have a need to feel loved, wanted and desired by your man but definitely not this way and not at the expense of losing your individuality. Perhaps a little jealousy will do or an arm around your shoulder or being seldom drawn in, just so your man can show he cares about you. It can make both of you feel good, attractive and sexy even when done in a light-hearted manner. But jealousy has to have some level of control and things shouldn’t go too far. To love a person is not to own them. In a romantic relationship, you do not capture someone and keep her imprisoned.

Manliness and masculinity is not be confused with possessiveness and jealousy. The latter takes away a person’s dignity and self-esteem. It subjects the weaker force for the desires and intents of the stronger party. We are in the modern era and this kind of behaviour doesn’t have a place here. However, nowadays it is obvious that men have become increasingly threatened because women are rising in almost all areas of society, be it political, social or financial. That a man has dominant role in the household as father and husband is now becoming an antique proverb. Old customs don’t die easily. Men hold on to the traditions which they grew accustomed to. For this reason they become depressed and dismal and they frantically try to regain their position in the relationship as well as at home and in the current society.

And the way they do this result in them becoming extremely Controlling. When a man is in any of these situations- lack of masculinity, frustrated about his career, lack of financial achievement, dominant parental influences, disappointment in domestic roles and lack of identity, in general – his tendency to become Controlling is very high. We can only hope that soon he will be able to see that what he is doing are pushing the modern woman away instead of winning her to his side. Of course, we do not anticipate that he will change overnight. But in due time, a man should accept that he is not always the key person in the relationship and as such must also reciprocate the love, affection and attention that her partner gives him.

More and more women are becoming aware that a jealous and possessive man does not deserve them and neither should they need to ever put up with him. But the mockery is, had your man been calm and self believing, you wouldn’t even play with the idea of moving away. However, his poor attitude due to his low self-esteem eventually led to what he fears the most – you packing up and saying goodbye.

If you are experiencing these things right now and are contemplating on leaving him, cling to your family and friends. Mr. Controlling is teeming with psychological and emotional issues and you will be needing company in dealing with those. In order to make you want him back and return to him, you can expect that the man will target the weak areas that he has already shaped in you.

On a lighter side, the authentic Mr. Nice Guy is a cheerful, positive and self assured man who doesn’t have problems concerning possessiveness and jealousy. He and his woman share mutual interest in each other’s person. He appreciates her girlfriend’s individuality and respects her ideals as she does him. Relationships are not only about sharing the same likes and dislikes or doing the same things together, it is also about maintaining the liberty of self-expression and individuality. It is about deep trust, knowing that your partner only has best intentions for you and your relationship.

So take heart. A lot of women have risen up to the circumstance and moved on although it is tough. There are many real Mr. Nice Guy out there you could meet, love and be happy with. Healing from the traumatic ordeal may take some time. But always take note that this is your world, your life. It is your privilege to decide on your own and to be responsible in doing what makes you happy. Controlling and jealous men have no place in this world. The sooner they help themselves get out of this pathetic behaviour without any woman’s help, the better.

Wherever you go, you will always encounter “hot air balloons”, or boastful people. They carry themselves as if they are gods and goddesses. Pride has been “okay-ed” by power, riches and fame. Pride cannot be unmade, but it can be moderately used, just like what normal people do. In the case of the arrogant ones, pride sustains their lives. Without pride, they are nothing more than hollow barrels.

It’s not saying that you should loathe proud people, because whoever they are, they still deserve proper treatment from everyone. Encountering people like this is inevitable, so here are some things you might want to consider for you to be able to still live peacefully when surrounded by arrogant people who oftentimes get on your nerves:

• If ignoring them won’t work, just muster all the patience you got and pretty sure you’ll be able to take whatever these guys throw at you. Be patient whenever your workmate boasts about his new car. Be patient when your neighbor’s bragging about his new LCD TV. Be patient when your mother-in-law tells you that she’s gone to France or Germany or any place where they don’t speak English. Patience is the safest weapon you can fight these situations with.
• If you don’t want to play Mr. Nice Guy, then you can show your annoyance the subtle way, and that is through not feeding their ego. When you give them the satisfaction, the more they will go boasting. Whenever your classmate is talking about his new iPad, just give him a nod. You can’t go, “Wow dude! That is the coolest thing I’ve ever seen. I wish I had one,” when deep inside you feel like shoving the iPad in his face. Hypocrisy is poison.
• Don’t play their game. Arrogance is their game, not yours. You don’t have to be ahead of them so they’ll realize that they’re attitude is killing you. If you do, reading this is pointless, because you’ll end up being one of them, and you won’t even know it. Be humble at all times.
• Go with the flow. Whatever happens, just go with it. Don’t take the issue too seriously because you’re just tormenting yourself whenever you think about it. Just play it smooth.
• Don’t be too tight. Who knows, this arrogant person you’re dealing with might just be in need of friends, attention, or care. Even if boastful people are the way they are, they might be having certain insecurities that they need to overcome. You can help them become better, if your ears are always there to listen.
• Tell them the truth. It just feels good when you don’t have to hide any feeling from anyone. If the proud guy’s your friend, then it is easier to be more frank. You can tell him that what he’s doing is not pleasing people in any way.
• Learn how to accept. If living with these people is the real deal, well, all that’s left for you to do is accept them for who they are. After having told them the truth, it’s up to them if they will listen to you or not. As for you, you can learn to accept, adjust and understand. Although doing these three is quite a stretch, you can do everything when you have patience.

[Player Wannabes: Please pass, go, don’t read this article. There is nothing for you here. This is good stuff for Nice and Good Guys Only]

I hope they are gone! Now where were we?

If you are having trouble finding that balance between being sensitive, kind and respectful to women and being a guy that women find attractive and even irresistible, then you are most likely a Nice or Good Guy. You may have read and even tried some of the Aggressive Alpha Male Routines but the better part of you just can’t bring yourself to treat women like disposables. So although you love women and in many ways admire some of them, you’re finding it hard to break out of the “Nice Guy” funk you’re in.

See if this sounds familiar?

A friend made an observation about me that I wasn’t aware of. When we go out to a party he tells me that women tell him that I am very attractive but boring. His thinking is that the thing that I do differently from most guys is that I don’t put off this ‘hunter’ vibe or energy that a lot of guys do. It frustrates me greatly because at times I feel that it is a liability that I try to come from a place of integrity and decency, as some guys just say and do what they want, without any regard to the consequences. I guess being respectful and nice is mistaken for boring.

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I’ve only had a couple of good connections with women, and that was a long time ago. What I’m going through now is a period of arrested development. It’s as if the sexual component has somehow been taken out of me over the last several years and now I am completely sexually invisible to women.

The one thing I DO feel I lose each time something doesn’t work for me is hope –which in turn yields much anger, resentment, and bitterness toward women –it is truly a vicious cycle. Having said that in some ways, I’ve been a fool to myself and lived in denial about my situation. I think I somehow morphed myself to this place.

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Okay, I want to make this clear upfront. The “cool guys” women want to marry are not the “Bad Boys” who are bad for badness sake. You know who — the dude with a bad kick-ass attitude who walks up to a woman, looks at her up and down with transparent intentions, and moves up on her with the brashness of a 60s’ pimp. Yeah – that one with no class and no soul. [Excuse me for going off again. I just can’t hide my dislike for players and their wannabes].

Many women worth the time of the day [unlike one night stand types] can’t stand these guys either. Their dream guy is the sensitive, caring, respectful and thoughtful guy with a sprinkle of “Bad Boy” traits.

[I see the look… but whatever!]

Whether you accept it or not, many women are attracted to certain traits — most abundant in Bad Boys and which often Bad Boys deliver. There is simply no denying it!

But what is it exactly that turns women on and why? Chances are that you, Mr. Nice Guy/Good Guy has all these “Bad Boys” traits — and don’t realize how truly “bad” you are.

1: A Bad Boy sets his own rules

You must feel like you’re being ostracized by society because you do not fit the bill of what is considered “Alpha Male”. And I am sure that makes you feel constantly judged to a standard you can never measure up to. Most bad boys grew up feeling like they just don’t “fit in the box” either. The difference between a Bad Boy and a Nice Guy (like you) is that he has learned to survive in a tough world that constantly judges him and rejects him because he doesn’t meet society’s standard of a “good boy”.

TIP 1 – Set your own dating rules and walk to the beat of your own drum. Women, like all other animals find those of the opposite sex who display great survival skills to be superior. Seeing a man wake up every morning, stand strong, stake his claim, take his chances, put his life on the line even in hostile environments is just sexy to the dizzy limit. It shows that you have your life together and enjoy being alive.

2: A Bad Boy is nobody’s punk and nobody’s pawn

One of the reasons you’re labeled a Nice Guy is because you respect women and treat them with the respect they so rightly deserve (hopefully). It’s the reason — you’ve been told– women leave you for Bad Boys. That’s so true. But what you may not have been told is that, women want to be respected and treated with respect but they don’t find doormats attractive — doormats are for dusting off our shoes.

TIP 2 – Stand up for yourself –sometimes — look her in the eye and draw the line in the sand when you have to. A steely core that is not easily manipulated and is uncompromising about the things that matter is attractive — very. But this should not be something you do like a whiny victim but something you do calmly, rationally and assertively — and on things that actually matter.

3: A Bad Boy does not pretend to be a saint

We know you are the “good” guys. You don’t have to try so hard to prove just how “good” you are. That puppy-like (“please, please, love me”) trying so hard to please is too good to a fault. There is only so much “sweetness” that a woman can take before she throws up — or blows up.

TIP 3 – Just be real with us, that’s all we ask. The “romantic saint” act gets so old real quick. We want to see that you accept yourself as you are — the good, bad and ugly. A guy who accepts himself as he is, is unlikely to critic our own errors, stumbles, weaknesses, scars, and warts so harshly because he knows he is not perfect either.

4: A Bad Boy is never afraid to stand up for what he believes is right

If you are a Nice Guy (not angry and all that), there must be a part of you that strongly believes in right and wrong, that is why you find it hard to treat women in a mean and degrading manner. It’s just plain wrong, right? Now whether you agree with bad boys’ sense of right and wrong or not, you’ve got to give it up for these guys for sticking with it. Having the conviction to do what one believes is right no matter the cost is probably one of the most attractive traits – ever!

TIP 4 – Stand up for us — all of the time. Every woman (even those who claim to be independent and self-reliant) wants to know that her man will stand up for her if someone tries to mess with her (even if it’s monster-in-law). Seeing you in the “protector” role makes her feel “safe” with you and around you [“Safe” is good when she feels it but bad when you are playing it].

5: A Bad Boy can handle ANY situation

Nice Guys and responsible guys are synonymous. That’s a good thing. But don’t be responsible on some things and disappear like a quid in ink when it comes to making the tough decisions. We want to make our own decisions but it doesn’t feel right for us to be making all the tough decisions and you just follow what we say without any useful input or challenge. If we decide we want a dog, we’ll get ourselves one, but when we want a man in the house, we mean A MAN in the house.

TIP 5 – Step up and take charge of tough situations. Suggest solutions; come up with new ideas and make things happen. It’s nice sometimes to have someone else make the tough decisions, and take action without being told, ordered or nagged into it. If you can’t be the kind of MAN we want, it’s hard for us to be the kind of woman you are looking for. We like our men confident and capable. It’s that simple.

6: A Bad Boy never tries to avoid the painful consequences of his own actions

One quality we women like about most Nice Guys is that they are sensitive – always thinking about the consequences of their words and actions. The negative side to this is that many of you are also depressingly too cautious, emotionally timid and overly anxious — always wondering when or what will set us off. We appreciate the sensitivity — but we don’t want too much of it.

TIP 6 – Stop acting like the victim in all situations. If there is a tangle of emotions that need to be addressed, then confront it directly. She may whine a bit, but at the end of the day you dealt with it and for that she’ll respect you more. Changing how you think from a fear-based/pessimistic style to a self-empowered/optimistic one can even help move you out of your own depression.

7: A Bad Boy has several twists and turns (and a few surprises)

If there is anything women know about Nice Guys it’s that they are reliable and consistent. They are also so consistently predictable that we can almost read their (boring) minds. When one knows everything, there is nothing left to discover. No more surprises, no more wonder, no more passion.

TIP 7 – Be consistent — consistently intriguing. Throw in some mix, shake things up a little and do something unexpected and unpredictable. When you’re like a romance novel; action-packed and have enough delicious suspense, intrigue, excitement and passion to keep a woman turning the pages, we hang unto your every word because we know that with every page we turn, we always discover feelings (and skills) in ourselves that we were previously unaware of.

8: A Bad Boy believes in himself – and his sex appeal

Our society has somehow succeeded in divorcing “Nice Guys” from their sexuality: where good =boring, bad =sexy. What we now have are men who want to be seen as “good men” but are afraid and even feel guilty and ashamed of their own sexual nature. You know what I mean — you see other guys as better looking, sexier and more attractive, but you… never good enough. Bad Boys have none of that. They do not compare themselves with “Good Guys” or try to be who they are not. They love being the “bad” guys.

TIP 8 – Stop the comparison game and start believing in yourself. Nice/good guys are quality boyfriend/husband material – and you better believe that. In fact repeat after me –“I Am A Good Catch!” Say it to yourself even if you’re not feeling particularly very lively or courageous, “I Am A Good Catch!” You may not be the best looking or slickest guy in town but you have a good heart, a healthy mind and good energy. Give yourself permission to exude inner strength, confidence, and self-assuredness. There is nothing sexier than a man who believes in himself and is not afraid to unleash his unique individual sex appeal.

You are not going to live forever, why not go out with a huge smile on your face. Hmm?

Hello and Welcome Back!

And I have made some really powerful discoveries in Female Psychology and communication. Now I am absolutely going to give you one the most important understandings to have when it comes to meeting women and also when in a relationship. If you don’t understand this, you will lose every time!

#1 Women will test you a lot and all the time!

#2 Women associate your behavior with her out to society! (I’ll explain in a minute.)

#3 You need to stand your ground, period!

#1 Now, what’s going on? The absolute biggest mistake men make when meeting girls is they try to be freaking nice!!! OMG! Stop doing this for crying out loud. Now, I have been teaching men how to communicate with women, to seduce women, pickup on women professionally for over 14 years now, maybe more. And I have got to tell you, the #1 Biggest most massive, huge mistake guys make when going to clubs or lounges or whatever is they think that by being soft and quiet and nice will attract a girl… It won’t!

I can tell you, beyond a shadow of a doubt, the guys who get the girls and get the girls a lot all have this one thing in common! They are aggressive and make no apologies about it. And they will put a girl in her place if she tests him. And trust me, she will test you! They are literally neurologically hard-wired to test you in public for one reason and one reason only!

They are trying to see if you care what other people think and if you are a good boy who follows rules! Why? The reason, is because if you are more worried about what other people think of you than what you want, then you are not a good Caveman. And a Caveman who is so freaking mentally wimpy that he is worried about what girls or other people think of him in public to the point where he doesn’t stand up for himself and call her on her B.S. then he is not a good mate to mate with. She needs a strong Caveman who takes what he wants and doesn’t even notice what other people think! Period! That’s it!

A caveman who follows rules is a weak caveman and he gets the scraps of society, which means her children with him will also get the scraps of society and will not have the best possible opportunities in life! And that is everything to her Reptilian/Cave girls mating system. Yes, I am dead serious and it has everything to do with her choosing you for sex or not!

What you have to understand, is that for women, when she is at a club or lounge or any place meeting strange men, her smaller reptilian brain takes over and she goes on auto pilot and is under her mating systems control. Yes, I am serious. It’s hard-wired into her. So, if you think women are logical and make sense when choosing mates, then you need to wake up and open up your eyes and take a look around. Girls date gangsters, thugs, drug dealers and guys who are not good for her at all; they don’t have jobs, ever went to college or worse. Yet, who do you see these girls with?

Now let me rewind just a little bit! Just a minute ago I mentioned mentally wimpy guys do not attract girls, in fact, mentally wimpy guys are a major, major turn off no matter how big and strong you are! How do I know? Because at one point, I use to bench press 365 lbs. for 2 solid reps. And at one point, I was ranked #1 in the United States as a Muay Thai / Kick boxer, a State Champion in Boxing, ranked in wrestling, street fighter, trained in martial arts my entire life and a lot more. Yet, socially and publicly I was a total and complete wimp, especially with girls!

And because of that, I couldn’t pick up women for the life of me! Or when I did have a girlfriend, she treated me like crap. And it was the most miserable experience of my life. I did that twice and learned the hard way! Now here’s the funny thing. Every now and then I would here a girl say, “Why can’t I find a real man, a man who knows how to put me in my place.” Or they would say, “Why can’t I find a guy who calls me on my B.S..” And I remember inside thinking, “Wow, this girl has problems if she thinks a guy is going to go out of his way to put her in her place or call her on her B.S.!” Yet, I was totally and completely wrong. I heard this for years, read it on dating sites on girls profiles, and on and on. And then one day it dawned on me to ask.

So I started asking older women in their 50’s or older about girls and these subjects. And without hesitation, each and every one of them said the same damn thing. They told me, yes, when that girl tests you and tries to make you angry or tests your boundaries, you have to be firm and put her back in her place.

Now this shocked me to no end! I was tripping out inside my head for about a year on this subject. So, I finally started going to clubs and cafe’s and book stores where I didn’t know anyone. hahaha… I would drive over an hour to find places where I have never been and never will go again. I would approach girls, except this time I would do it with more of a Masculine, manly and with a bit of an aggressive edge to me. I would start a conversation and talk to her. And the minute a girl called me a name or smarted off to me or whatever, I would literally call her on her B.S. and I would do it loudly, in her face, in public and without a care in the world. See, I wasn’t there to actually get her number or sex, although that would be a major plus. I was there to see if this actually worked!

And lo and behold, BAMM! These girls would actually smile and get real quite. And another thing I noticed is they would sway their bodies, get coy and their eyes would dilate big time! And they would swoon and melt right before my eyes. hahahahaha… I couldn’t believe it.

I was totally and completely shocked because my entire life, I thought I was supposed to be Mr. Polite, nice and be a good boy! Yet, after frustrating years and years of being single or with women who disrespected me, I finally had it and had to try something new. Turns out that it actually turns women on and attracts them mentally, emotionally and sexually when they find a man who raises his voice, speaks up for himself and puts her in her place! Yes, it’s a sexual turn on for women!

Now, Testing. This is sooooooooo important for you to understand!

Mother nature hard-wired women to test you a lot, especially when they first meet you and on the first couple of dates, maybe more. See, she is trying to see if you are man enough to call her on her B.S. of being rude or making jokes on you or calling you names. And yes, women will call you names. I had a friend of mine who was at a club with me and he was being Mr. Nice guy. hahahahahah… Big, Big, Big mistake!

So what does she do to him in front of her girlfriends and me? Hahahahahahaha… She says, “Oh, You’re Gay!” hahahahahaha… And my friend just froze about died and was so freaking embarrassed! (By the way, women will do this a lot, especially at clubs in big cities. It’s a test, so let er rip and rip into her and watch her melt and smile.)

So stepped in and called her a Bitxx. And started attacking her verbally and next thing you know, she smiled, became a little girl and became very sensual with me. And yes, I got a kiss and her number a little while later. So later on, my friend asked me, “Why do girls always ask me if I’m gay!” I start laughing and say, because you are nice!” “I’m serious!” “You’ve got to hold your ground and speak up!” “And when she says something rude to you, tell her she’s fat and desperate or her dress doesn’t look good or whatever!” “It’s a test for crying out loud.”

Ok, look, the other thing, is that if you are Mr. Nice, she will call you on it. By calling you a name or testing you in some way. Now here’s the thing. It’s a Golden opportunity! She is literally saying inside, “Please, please be a man!” “Don’t let little ole me scare you away, I’m a little girl for crying out loud!” She is purposely giving you an opportunity!!! Now take advantage of it, she has practically surrendered to you. Now Take it! She wants you too! Yes, I am serious.

#2 Women associate. That’s what women do because they are largely in their right, emotional and associative brain. Well, what does that mean? It means, that whatever you are like with her, is what she will associate to you and then her brain will literally generalize that to what she imagines you are like in the real world!

So, if you are Mr. Nice guy with her, she thinks you are Mr. Nice guy out at the work force and out in the world and in her mind, how can he survive out there if he’s this nice! And this is a major, major turn off! So you have to be gruff and aggressive and tough. Now what do I mean?

Don’t be so damn agreeable with her. Let her know in a strong way if you don’t like something or if you want to go somewhere and she says no, or whatever. Don’t give up so easily, freaking make your voice be heard. And inside she will like it and respect you for it. But if you are Mr. Nice, she will lose all respect for you! Period!

I mean, don’t be such a freaking wimp, get angry when you are angry. Don’t apologize all the time, in fact, rarely apologize. Ok, what I really mean, is when you are grumpy, then act and be grumpy. If she does something you don’t like, then tell her in a firm and strong way. Women like this. Seriously watch her smile, then hug you then make love to you and even cook and clean. I’m serious.

And don’t always be Mr. Kid gloves with her or kitten gloves, however you say that. Be a Caveman once in a while. I’m serious. Show her you are the boss, it’s a huge turn on for her. Even if you just growl like a Caveman as a joke, do it once in a while, there is a system in her reptilian brain that likes this and is assures her and calms her down when you act manly and growl once in a while. And, this is a big one. Literally pick her up and throw her over your shoulder and smack her on the ass and then take her to your bed and make love to her! This is my biggest secret to getting a girl to have sex with me. Works every single time.

And yes, if you are married for crying out loud, do this, she will appreciate it. I am serious!

Ok, so to wrap this section up, you have to understand one important thing. Her body and right emotional brain are literally feeling the feelings you are giving off. So if you are nervous, scared or anxious, she’s going to feel that too and it makes her feel nervous and scared and that will make her want to run. Now, if you are coming across as strong, powerful and grounded, calm and confident, guess what she feels? Yep, you guessed it, strong, powerful, grounded and confident and that’s a great feeling for a girl to have. So if she feels this when she meets you, then she’s going to want to be with you because those feelings turn her on sexually and make her horny, with you. This is what I mean when I say, women associate into you!

#3 Stand your ground, be firm, grounded, and speak up!

Now women can’t stand men who are wishy-washy or wimpy and especially do not talk in a low volume. Turn that volume up! The more the better for most guys because most guys are way, way, way to quite and it’s irritating because it causes your listener to strain to hear you and that’s freaking frustrating in a big, big way!

Oh yes, when you are at a club do not, do not, do not lean in close to talk into her ear because the music is too loud! Hell no! Don’t do it! What you must do is raise your volume up and speak loud enough so she can clearly hear you! If you are truly speaking loud and I mean really loud, she can lean into you and listen. That’s the way it’s done! I am serious!

So be solid and don’t let a girl push you around at all. And you lead, not her! So you grab her hand and pull her, not the other way around.

Take these 3 tips into account and watch women smile and move towards you!

Good luck guys! Have fun, laugh loudly and help her have a good time by you being a man!

Nobody ever walks consciously into an abusive relationship. Rather they ‘sign up’ for a relationship that, they believe, offers them most of what they want; and they are prepared to compromise on the things that they sense are not on offer. Or, maybe, they think that, in time, they will educate – or train – their partner to provide the other things that they want as well.

“Is that such a bad foundation for a relationship?” you might ask. “People do that all the time.”

Of course they do. You are absolutely right. Most people settle for a partner who falls short of their ideal – or, to put it another way, people accept someone who does not altogether measure up to their dream. In some cases it works out well, and in the case of abused women it works out very badly indeed.

What makes for the difference?

Quite simply, it is the shortcomings that people are prepared to accept. Settling for someone whose appearance, dress sense, social status, and education fall short of your aspirations, may well be a perfectly reasonable thing to do. Settling for someone who has a string of past relationships that ended badly, a strong sense of grievance, is quick to express fury and contempt – albeit with other people – is akin to putting your hand in the fire; and then being terribly surprised when that hand gets 3rd degree burns.

The way a new partner behaves towards you in the early days of a relationship, when he is out to win your heart, is less indicative of what lies ahead than the way he behaves towards other people. Especially the ‘other people’ who ‘don’t matter’; like people in service industries.

“So, how does this relate to a mentally abusive relationship?”

Having worked with hundreds and hundreds of abused women, I am aware of the gulf between how they define the early, heady days of their relationship and the way things truly were. Women talk about how wonderful and caring their abusive partner was at the start, before he started changing from Mr Nice Guy into Mr Nasty in front of their very eyes.

There is no doubt that mentally abused women believe the story that they tell. Equally, there is no doubt that they view the start of their relationship through the rose-tinted spectacles of denial. In fact, their partner wooed them fast, swept them off their feet, by saying the things that they ached to hear… but – and it is a big but – he showed behaviours that were worrying.

There were times when he was inconsiderate, when he overreacted to situations and became quite angry or punitive towards them. His behaviour was, to put it bluntly, selfish: the relationship was about what he wanted, first and foremost.

In the first stage of the relationship, the woman’s mental dialogue is all about making ‘it’ up to him for his past (and present) problems, and making allowances, and excuses, for behaviours that, she senses, are less than ideal. He may look good, and dress well, and there may well be “chemistry”. So, his partner overlooks fundamental differences in their values, and attitudes regarding relationships.

In the second stage of the relationship, Mr Nasty has become very much a part of the relationship. He may be around rather more of the time than Mr Nice Guy. By now, this man has largely stopped making the effort to please his partner. Why should he? Most of the time he can get what he wants from her through intimidation, anger or punishment Why does that work? Why doesn’t she just walk away – as she knows that she should? Because she thinks back to all the “potential” for being a great partner that he showed in the early days. She tells herself that, if she tries a little harder and shows him more love and support, sooner or later he is bound to turn back into Mr Nice Guy. When that happens, she will finally have the relationship she desires.

Besides, by now, she has invested so much of her heart and her identity in him that she can’t bear to throw away what they had.

In the third stage of the relationship, Mr Nice Guy is little more than a distant memory; at least where his partner is concerned. He may turn on the charm when he is out in public, he may dust off his “nice” side for the benefit of any other woman in town, but in the privacy of his own home he is cold, unloving, fault-finding, punitive and contemptuous.

Of course, his treatment has taken its toll. By this stage, his partner has been so brainwashed by the constant mental and emotional abuse that she has lost her confidence, her self-worth, and her sense of her own identity. She is constantly fearful of provoking another outburst, and she blames herself for everything. Worse still, she has come to treat herself as badly as her partner treats her. She feels completely drained, desperate and hopeless. She simply cannot see a way out.

She cannot see a way out for two very important reasons. First, she doesn’t understand what has happened to her, and that it is not her fault. Second, she doesn’t know how to heal and get her life back on track. Because she has been so brainwashed, it is almost impossible for her to make the journey back to health on happiness without expert help.

Happily, the world is not as she has been conditioned to see it. With expert help, she will be able to let go of her abusive relationship and create a meaningful life for herself.

A mentally abusive relationship may feel like a living death. Fortunately, there is life after mental emotional abuse. Having survived a mentally abusive relationship, means that you have the strength to heal, and a tremendous capacity, as well as hunger, for the happiness you desire.

“There must be 50 ways to leave your lover.” Not sure how to break up with your boyfriend? Breaking up made easy. The article gives you 3 break up tips based on his personality type.

So it’s time to call it a day. How do you go about giving your boyfriend the dreaded news that you don’t want to see him anymore? Breaking up with someone is never easy. While you have already made up your mind, often for the other the news is coming like a bolt out of the blue. The best way to break up is to determine his personality type and then follow this break up advice.

1: Mr Ego (I’m too sexy). At first, you couldn’t believe your luck at snagging this hot guy. All your friends were jealous of you dating this Adonis. He even has beautiful manners and is polite to your parents. However, now you have come to realize that those drop dead gorgeous looks come at a price and that this guy is Mr High Maintenance. He has more visits to the beauty counter than you, and visits the hair stylist on a regular basis to maintain that trendy do. His life really revolves around himself and his image. Deep down, he’s really superficial.

The send off: The best way to dump this walking mirror is straight up. Tell him you don’t like doing what he does and that you have different interests. Fundamentally, you don’t think you have anything in common, except perhaps for product. Not only will you be fare welling this shallow creature but you may decrease the size of his ego as well.

2: Mr Nice Guy (Get a life). This guy has been the perfect boyfriend. He sends you flowers, watches chick flicks happily, accompanies you to the mall willingly, and even likes your friends. His mantra is “anything you want to do is fine with me”. Now you are getting tired of him not having a mind of his own and feeling a bit like you want your own space. There is no challenge in this relationship. Don’t just keep dating this guy because he is too nice to hurt, or you will just end up not being able to stand him. This won’t make you the world’s nicest girlfriend.

The send off: Breaking up with this too nice guy can be really hard. He is so nice that you don’t want to hurt his feelings. You can’t just say to him “you are so nice you are making me sick”. You have to break up with this guy gently. Whatever you do, don’t say “it’s not you, it’s me”. This guy deserves better than that. You could try a line like “you deserve someone better than me” or “it’s not a good time for me to have a boyfriend” or ‘I really like you, but the chemistry just isn’t right”. Whatever you say, try to be kind but firm. This sort of personality can make a great guy pal so try to convert him into a platonic friend.

3: Mr Insecure (Mr Needy). Initially, you thought he was the one. You fell for each other hard. He was perfect. He was your soul mate. You were sooo in love with each other. Utterly smitten. He was totally besotted with you to start with. Everything was perfect. Now, you have noticed you spend all your time with him and you can’t remember the last time you saw your friends. Your soul mate is not being quite so affectionate with you and has started getting a bit terse as well. Lately, he has even started saying he is the best thing you are ever going to get. This guy’s method of operation is to lure you in and then have you so dependent on him that you are frightened to leave him. He has removed you from everyone else to isolate you. This guy is terribly insecure and it is time to break up before he totally does your head in. If you stick with this guy, pretty soon he will have you believing that you are lucky that even he tolerates you.

The send off: Treat this guy with kid gloves when you break up. This guy is most likely to put on an Oscar winning performance of tears and remorse. He will promise to change. He won’t. The best way to deal with him is to tell him you are not ready for such a level of commitment. Ignore his pleading. Don’t give him a second chance because the relationship will only deteriorate further.

Other classic kiss offs: If you can’t determine his personality, or none seem appropriate, you can always try one of these well used lines to dump him.

“I want to get married and have your babies.” Guaranteed to never see him again.

“I have decided I prefer girls.” Drastic statement that works well.

“My family disapproves and will disown me if I continue to see you.” Really?

“I have met someone else.” Even if you haven’t, this is very final sounding.

Be strong. Steel yourself. You have decided it’s time to break up. Use these break up tips to your advantage. Now go find a better boyfriend!

It’s painfully difficult if not outright impossible to understand what women really want. On the other hand, it’s painfully easy to realize what it is they DON’T want.

However, there are many guys out there who don’t get these vibes that women put out and tend to be surprised when they get ignored, or worse, dumped. If you’re one of these guys, read on and find out where you’re going wrong…

Approaching women, talking them into dating you and seducing them takes time and effort. You can’t afford to mess up. Here are some traits that you should definitely avoid, because girls simply hate to see them on guys. Read on to discover the three traits that women hate…and make sure that you don’t have them.

Characteristics That Women Hate In A Man – Stop Being A Chump!

Trait #1. Absence of Passion. If you’re driven in life, it shows. Women are always attracted to guys who have a zest; an enthusiasm for life and hate guys who are placid and lacking passion in all areas of life.

If you share your opinions and ideas and look like you’re going places, then women will follow you in droves.

Trait #2. Being Mr. Nice Guy. Stop being a friend all the time. “Friends” never get anywhere – they certainly do not get much action as far as the bedroom is concerned.

Here’s the interesting part: Most guys tend to become completely non-threatening Mr. Nice Guys around women they like. When they do that, the women tend to see them in a ‘harmless dude’ manner. And that, my friends, will be the end of that particular story. So no more being Mr. Nice Guy.

Trait #3. Lack of Confidence. Guys who aren’t confident of themselves have bad posture and tend to draw inwards too often. Girls hate this. Be confident, and you’ll get a girl in no time.

Right. Now you know what traits to get rid of before you approach the girls. Why not simultaneously get armed with some extra tricks to get the woman you like? One such trick is called fractionation – and it is known to be able to make women fall in love super quickly – often in 15 minutes or even less.

Have you ever felt frustrated that you seem to get hopelessly “head over heels” for unavailable men, yet find yourself hopelessly impervious to the advances of nice guys who are genuinely available and ready for a serious relationship? Would you like to change this pattern so you can finally start enjoying a great relationship and quit wasting time with men who play hot-and-cold with your emotions? Keep reading to see how the science of psychology can come to your rescue!

In a classic study of social psychology, Dutton and Aron conducted an intriguing study in which a female experimenter stood at the end of two different bridges, and asked random men who crossed the bridge to tell a short story as part of a psychology experiment. The first bridge was a safe, sturdy bridge ten feet over a calm rivulet- we’ll call that one the “safe bridge” for our purposes here. The second bridge was rickety, scary bridge that traversed a 230-foot drop to rocks and rapids- we’ll keep it simple and call that one the “scary bridge” here. What the researchers found was that the men who crossed the scary bridge were more likely to use sexual or romantic imagery in their stories. These men who crossed the scary bridge were also more likely to rate the female experimenter as attractive, even though it was actually the same woman at the end of both bridges.

Why did the men crossing the scary bridge tell more sexual or romantic stories and rate the female experimenter as more attractive than the men who crossed the safe bridge? Results suggest that these men misattributed their arousal symptoms (such as increased heart rate or sweaty palms) that arose from crossing a highly stimulating, albeit somewhat scary bridge to romantic or sexual attraction for the woman.

This study may explain a phenomenon I’ve seen in my practice. Many of my female clients complain that they don’t feel chemistry with nice guys; yet find themselves drawn to men who are unpredictable and keep them guessing (I also occasionally see this in my male clients). If you experience this in your own dating life, you will want to learn how to see good guys as more exciting and the not-so-good guys as less so. Keep reading for tips on how to do this!

Make a List

Your first step will be to make a list of Scary Bridge behaviors. Scary Bridge behaviors are behaviors that are undesirable in a dating partner, and which therefore may result in considerable worry or irritation for you. Unfortunately, this worry or irritation can often be misattributed as attraction for the man who is provoking the worry or irritation. That is why it’s important to identify these behaviors so you can recognize them as they occur. Your list may include the following:

• Showing up late to a date (even if for a good reason- any type of lateness can increase anticipation, which increases physiological arousal)
• Canceling a date at the last minute (again, even if for a good reason- the point here isn’t to evaluate his reasons, just to notice the effect of the behavior on your physiological arousal)
• Suggesting a date but failing to make clear plans with you or keeping you guessing about exactly when/where the date will occur
• Telling you he isn’t sure if he’s ready for a relationship

It’s important not to get stuck in trying to evaluate whether his reasons are “good” or not for the behaviors above. To your body, it makes no difference- if there are sudden changes or periods of uncertainty, your level of physiological arousal can get heightened. We all have occasional last-minute emergencies, but if you’re dating someone who seems to have an endless array of issues (sick mother, emergency meeting, been hurt in the past, the list goes on… and on… and on… ), consider that his unavailability could actually be creating drama that ironically actually makes him more tantalizing.

In addition to your Scary Bridge list, you will also want to make a list of Safe Bridge behaviors. These are behaviors which you may have previously seen as sappy or boring, but which are often found in good guys. Your list of Safe Bridge behaviors may include the following:

• Showing up to a first date with flowers
• Offering to pick you up or see you home
• Arriving on time for dates
• Ending a date with plans to see you again
• Making it clear that he is smitten with you (nice but cheesy text messages, nervous laughter, sweaty palms, finding himself tongue-tied in an awkward silence, nervous about first kiss, etc)

Reading this, you may be thinking that you do like it when a guy does some of the Safe Bridge things above, yet you still find yourself attracted to unavailable men. But consider the context of those behaviors. If you find yourself attracted to men who do Safe Bridge behaviors inconsistently, these behaviors may excite you mainly due to their rarity. Intermittent reinforcement is actually the most excitement provoking- this is why casinos set slot machines to give rewards in a randomly ordered manner where the user never knows what to expect, and keeps chasing the rewards. Don’t let intermittent reinforcement create a misleading sense of excitement that keeps you trapped in a holding pattern with a Mr Wrong who plays hot-and-cold with your emotions or your schedule.

Re-Slot Behaviors

After making your list of Scary Bridge and Safe Bridge behaviors, you will next want to change the way you see these behaviors. While you may find Scary Bridge behaviors to be exciting or signs that a man must be “hard to get” or “just so busy and successful” or “really cool and not rushing things”, you will want to re-slot these behaviors as flaky, non-assertive, and undesirable. The goal is to get to the point where you can roll your eyes at these behaviors rather than getting tantalized by them.

You will also want to re-slot Safe Bridge Behaviors. Below are some ideas on how to see nice guys as more exciting:

• Think about how thrilling it would be to get engaged or to plan a wedding. How can the cheap excitement that flaky guys provide compare to the thrill of being in a deep relationship that leads to marriage?
• Do something a little scary with your date, such as going to a horror movie. Should you misattribute your fear as attraction for your date in this context, it would be a positive thing!
• Come up with a sexual fantasy to imagine while on a date with Mr Nice Guy. If you need help coming up with ideas, you might try searching online for erotica or porn till you find something that really excites you- it should feel naughty, forbidden, or whatever it takes to get your heart racing. When you go on a date with a nice guy who might feel so safe that he’s a little boring, call the fantasy material mind while you focus your gaze on your date. This will help arouse your body and make you more open to advances from Mr Nice Guy.

If you are able to successfully re-slot Safe and Scary Bridge behaviors, this could go a long way towards reducing frustration in your dating life. I have seen my clients apply the principles in this article to great success.

Guys who describe themselves as the nice guy are always saying things like, “Why do nice guys finish last?” The answer is – they don’t… Weak guys finish last. Very often behaviors that you call nice are perceived by women as weak. And they are usually right.

So Mr. Nice Guy, get ready for a rude awakening – You are really Mr. Weak Guy. The gauge you are using to qualify your “niceness” is way off. You need to think in terms of being a GOOD guy, not a NICE guy. Women really don’t want jerks. They want many of the qualities that a jerk portrays but they don’t want you to really be a mean jerk.

Take a look at the classic hero in most action movies. Let’s look at Indiana Jones for a minute. You’ll notice that for the most part he isn’t a nice guy. He has no time for silly games, he tends to be rather abrupt with people who can’t keep up with him, and he doesn’t kiss anyone’s ass. To the amateur eye he may even come across as a jerk. But, here’s what makes him the hero. When it comes down to it he really is a good guy. He really wants to help people. He has a big heart and even sacrifices his own life to help others around him. This is what women want. It’s okay to have a big heart and to be a really good guy. In fact, women LOVE that. It’s one of the main qualities they look for in a man.

You need to learn to separate the concept of what you’ve been calling the “nice guy” from the “good guy.” The nice guy tells everyone what they want to hear. The nice guy doesn’t stand his ground or voice his opinion when people offer adversity. The good guy isn’t concerned with catering to everyone around him and isn’t interested in telling people what they want to hear. He is however very caring and really wants to help people when it comes to serious issues. The good guy is the one who sacrifices himself when it really counts. He has a genuine love for people. You can and should be a good guy without being a weak “nice guy”.