Any woman who has ever been in love with a Pisces man knows it’s an adventure unlike any other. These men are sensitive, emotionally open and when a man like this gives his heart to you, you have to cherish it. That’s why it’s so difficult when you go through a break up with a Pisces. You know inside that you’ll never meet another man like him. If you’ve lost the man you adore and you can’t fathom a future without the two of you together, you need to get to work winning back his heart. Learning how to get a Pisces man back is all about understanding how to appeal to certain triggers within him that will make him crave to be with you all over again.

Understanding how to get a Pisces man back begins with recognizing the need to right all the relationship wrongs you two have faced. You can’t expect him to want to get back together until the slate is clean and there are no longer any lingering issues between the two of you. You have to take the lead on this. You need to make amends for what you did in the relationship that contributed to the conflict. Apologize to him. Do it in a simple and sincere way so he can see that you’re genuinely sorry.

As you already know from your time with your guy, he loves to be cared for and nurtured. You obviously long to do that again and that’s why you’re intent on getting him back. Right now, he needs some space. He’s likely told you as much. You need to keep some sort of connection open with him though. Pressing him to get back together too soon won’t work so instead bring up the idea of being friends. This will allow you the opportunity to still be in contact with him while you’re nurturing a new and substantial bond.

Patience is key when you’re learning how to get a Pisces man back. He’s going to be wary of handing his heart over to you if you two went through a particularly painful break up. By showing him what a supportive and dependable friend you can be to him he’ll start to open up to you once again. Just be determined to be the best platonic friend you possibly can be to him. Once he sees that you’re someone he can always rely on and someone who has his best interest at heart, he won’t be able to help but to fall in love with you all over again.

How, why and when humans started evolving on earth is a topic of great debate and discussion around the world, and has been for centuries, as evidence of early man can often be limited and even contradictory in what it suggests. However, if man developed through literally millions of years of evolution, then fast-forward hundreds of thousands of years to when early-man started to realize the skills he would need to gain in order to survive. It is this extended period of self-realization that many have called the true evolution of man, as, without it, humans probably would not have last for long.

All evidence of early man points to the fact that humans used to live in a far warmer climate than we are largely living in today. If all human kind did indeed originate in what is now Africa and disperse around the globe from there, the need for mankind to develop some key survival skills is understandable. The first of these would undoubtedly have been fire. The concept and danger of fire would have been known to man since the very earliest of times, when random lightening strikes would have shown its destructive nature without giving man the chance to harness its energy just yet. In many ancient European caves though, not only were charcoal drawings found on the walls, but charred animal bones were discovered; showing that fire has been in use for hundreds of centuries. How man came to use fire will always be unknown, but you can imagine that perhaps an old, dry tree was struck during a lightning storm, creating a large, warm fire. From this man probably started their own smaller fires which they would have had to have kept burning for a long time if they wished to stay warm. Likewise, the discovery of striking flint to make sparks would have been a fortunate accident too; cave men probably noticed sparks when they were walking in the dark, as certain stones struck each other.

With fire would have come many benefits, from warmth to a larger and more nourishing diet, and even protection from wild animals. Man would have taken all of these benefits and developed them further, making the most of his new found knowledge. As the climate started to cool, or as man traveling further north or south from the equator, man would have at some point started to wear clothing to stay warm when fire was not readily available. How on earth could anyone accurately say when this was? Well one method that has been researched extensively is to simply carry out a genetic analysis of the common human body louse, as the louse largely lives in clothing, as the human body is so sparse of hair. This louse apparently dates back 540,000 years, so this is one theory of when mens clothing began.

Finally, man would have invented, or rather discovered, the wheel. From artefacts discovered, it is believed that the wheel was first discovered or widely used in Mesopotamia – what is now Iraq – up to 4000 BC. At some stage, man, after just dragging and carrying heavy supplies around, would likely have realized that rolling rocks along tubular tree branches was far easier, and from there developed the wheel.

It goes without saying that relationships can be complex. As it is most men by nature don’t talk and express themselves much. For most women one of the toughest relationship queries is the status and what your man is really looking from you. Cast aside your worries and do these simple things to find out.

Be patient

Most women are impulsive by nature and it so happens that if a woman really like a guy too much there is always a fear of doing too much too soon to please her man. This will tend to work adversely for you because a man inherently wants to win over his woman. So, if you go in all guns firing, this need will diminish. So bide your time, if he really sees a future with you, in his way he will let you know.

Just casual sex or more

This is a dilemma faced by millions of women the world over, the one of sex and commitment. If you are serious, don’t make the mistake of sleeping with him too soon. If he is into you even with the sex factor out of the way, it means he wants to be in a meaningful relationship with you.

Closeness out of bedroom

Sex is a huge thing in a relationship. With physical intimacy in place, pay close attention to his behaviour towards you. If he is always loving and caring towards you, it’s a sign that he wants a deeper relationship with you.

The providence factor

If he is looking at your relationship as a long time thing, gauge his ability of taking care of you. If he begins to strive more and becomes more serious at his work after hitting off with you it is a sign that he is really into you.

His willingness to talk will show you lots.

There is nothing easier than honest heart to heart meaningful conversations where he is willing to talk and is receptive to you. If he has this ability then you wouldn’t have a difficult time figuring out what he really wants and whether or not you are just another person in his life.

You are in his “others” talks

If you figure quite regularly in his conversations with his friends, colleagues and family and more often than not he has nice things to say about you, you can be sure that he is looking at your relationship seriously and he is seeking more than just friendship and companionship from you.

He is making plans for the future

Everyone makes plans for the future and so is he, be it regarding a better income, a good house a comfortable lifestyle and so on. If he confides in you about his future plans and you get hints that you are part of them, most times it means that he envisions a future with you and wants to be in a long committed relationship with you.

Author John Eldredge believes we have taken away the big dreams of a man’s heart when we told him to be a nice guy. This dedication to niceness is the reason there are so many tired and lonely women, so many fatherless children and so few real men around. Men can change this. Learn 3 things Eldredge says men must do to become Wild At Heart and revitalize their relationships.

1. Deep in his heart, every man longs for a battle to fight

Aggression is part of the man’s design; they are hard wired for it. Boys yearn to know they are powerful, dangerous, someone to be reckoned with.

Hockey and boxing were not feminine creations. A boy wants to attack something and so does a man. Even if it’s only a little white ball on a tee. He wants to whack it into kingdom come. Like it or not, the boy is a warrior who grows bored of games that have no element of danger or competition.

Life needs a man to be fierce and fiercely devoted. Eldredge reveals how to do that throughout his book.

2. Deep in his heart, every man longs for an adventure to live

There’s a reason the American cowboy has taken on mythic proportions. He embodies a yearning every man knows from very young–to go West, to find a place where he can be all he was meant to be. That is wild, dangerous, unfettered and free.

This isn’t a macho-man pep rally. It’s a search for authentic masculinity. Adventure requires something of us, puts us to the test. Though we may fear the test, at the same time we yearn to be tested, to discover that we have what it takes. If a man has lost this desire, says he doesn’t want it, that’s only because he believes he will fail the test. So he decides it’s better not to try. Eldredge reveals many ways to change that.

3. Deep in his heart, every man needs a beauty to rescue.

Once he is awakened to the beauty of love, a man wants to be the hero for his beauty. He wants to charge the castle, slay the giant, leap across parapets, or maybe hit a home run. It’s not just that a man needs a battle to fight; he needs someone to fight for. A man yearns for romance.

What about the feminine heart?

Eldredge explains the three essential desires in a woman’s heart:

Every woman years to be fought for, to be pursued and to be a priority to someone.

Every woman also wants an adventure to share. She doesn’t want to be the adventure; she wants to be caught up in something greater than herself.

Every woman wants to have a beauty to unveil. It’s not just physical beauty. It’s a deep desire to truly BE the beauty and be delighted in.

How can these insights revitalize your relationships?

WILD AT HEART is not about things men can do to be nicer guys. It’s a book about the recovery and release of a man’s heart, his passion and his true nature. It is an invitation and instruction guide for a man to head into the high country of the soul, into wild and uncharted regions, and reclaim your heart.

Eldredge invites women to discover the secret of a man’s soul and to delight in the strength and wildness men were created to offer. Eldredge concludes that men, women and children will be happier and healthier when men are Wild At Heart. He uses biblical references to support his recommendations, yet his insights transcend any religious boundaries.

October Man Sequence – The Bane Of Mankind

The October Man Sequence has been mentioned in “The Game” by Neil Strauss, and has become somewhat legendary. Apparently, it is a new technology in seduction which is supposedly able to make a woman want to sleep with a man in a matter of minutes.

When it was first published in the eBook format, the October Man Sequence caused a controversy in the dating and seduction community. There were calls for the eBook to be banned – since if it falls into the hands of the unscrupulous, it can easily be harmful to women.

The origins of the October Man Sequence

The October Man Sequence is created by a member in the dating and seduction community called Twotimer (later known as IN10SE). He was one of the main characters in “The Game”, and also was the protege of the much maligned Speed Seduction creator, Ross Jeffries. Twotimer created the sequence based on the ‘fractionation’ method derived from the field of neuro-lingustic programming (NLP) and hypnosis.

Why the October Man Sequence should be banned

According to IN10SE himself, using the October Man Sequence is like “bringing a nuclear weapon to a gunfight”. As the basis of the sequence is ‘symbolism’, according to psychology theory, controlling the symbol associated with the person often means controlling her feelings at will.

This is dangerous because the unsuspecting victim often gets hypnotized, and thus leaving herself vulnerable to manipulation. Additionally, she will feel pain or pleasure depending to the intention of the man, and therefore become succumbed at his total mercy.

The October Man Sequence eBook has the complete description of the sequence, as well as scores of other forbidden patterns such as “The Door”, “Death”, “Install Sickness” and “My Slave”. The latter is used to make a woman become a ‘sex slave’ – absolutely disgusting.

Additionally, there is also a section on Boyfriend Destroyers – questions that a man can ask in order to make an attached woman question her love for her own partner. Evil stuff indeed.

You want to know how to get a Libra man back because your boyfriend and you are no longer together. Love stinks sometimes, doesn’t it? Just when you think things are moving along wonderfully, something happens and the entire relationship falls into a million pieces. You wish there was a way you could wave a magic wand and instantly have him back in your arms. Unfortunately love just doesn’t work that way. There are some very easy things you can do though that will dramatically shift the dynamic between the two of you so he’ll be the one chasing you trying to get you back.

When it comes to understanding how to get a Libra man back you already have the upper hand. Since you were in a relationship with him you know exactly what appeals to him. You’re going to use that insight now to win him back. As you know, most Libra men bore very easily. If you aren’t keeping him stimulated, he’s going to wander off and eventually away. That’s why it’s imperative that you use the time after the break up to work at becoming a more well rounded person. There must be things that you’ve longed to learn and try. Do that now. Maybe it’s learning a new language or traveling across the world on an adventure. Show him that you’re a very vibrant and active woman.

You also know that your ex can’t get enough compliments. Libra men aren’t awkward at all when it comes to accepting compliments from women. They thrive on it and it’s what pulls them closer to particular women. Be certain to continue to compliment him now that the relationship has ended. A very subtle way of doing this is to mention that you remember how accomplished he was at something. He’ll be touched that you remembered and it will feed directly into his ego which is exactly what you want when you’re trying to win back his love.

In order to smooth the path towards reconciliation you need to ensure you set the record straight with your Libra guy. Own up to what you did that you know irked him when you two were together. Don’t get all mushy and try and explain away your behavior. Be mature and take responsibility for it. He’ll be moved that you made the effort and impressed that you recognize your shortcomings.

Always be cordial and kind when you’re trying to get your Libra man back in love with you. Getting upset or threatening him by telling him you can’t live without him is just too much drama for him. He won’t be impressed and will actually work to distance himself more from you. If you’re calm, strong and centered, he’ll see you as someone who can handle herself in any situation and that’s bound to impact him.

Do you know that men need more than love if they are ever to see you as “the one?”

It’s true. Many women are stunned when a relationship they taught was great, ended because the man wanted to move on. Why do men stay with one woman for years, then leave her to marry another woman shortly after?

When we were growing up as women, we are taught about the fairytale of prince charming. So many women get into relationships with their boyfriends and believe because their boyfriends are with them, that he’s going to make the next step to want to marry them.

But this simply isn’t true. And if you check the stats, you will see how much hurt and pain many women go through when they realize that they’ve been with their men for sometime but he’s no where near wanting marriage.

Men don’t grow up with the ideas of being prince charming. They have to come to a certain conclusion in their minds. Your man is just the same. He has to come to a certain conclusion in his mind about you, way beyond the idea of him loving you.

In order for this to happen for him, there are a variety of triggers that must go off over the period of your relationship. If you wonder why he isn’t moving the relationship forward, it is because you may not have figured out how to pull those emotional triggers naturally.

The worst fear a woman has is investing a lot of emotional time and energy in her relationship only to have it end without getting a ring. But you don’t have to be that kind of woman. You can learn how to naturally be the woman your man wants to marry.

Faced with reports after reports that men don’t commit, or men are commitment phobic, many women feel helpless because they don’t really know how to make a man commit.

Getting a man to commit and marry you is a natural formula. When you see women who have men adore them, it is because they naturally follow the formula and any woman can learn how to do it.

Even a hard to land man is helpless against a woman who stands in her powerful feminine energy because she radiates in such a way that she gets inside his heart.

Men need to feel more than love, they need to be so full of deep emotional feelings for you in order for them to see a woman as “the one”.

When you can make a man feel this way, you will get him to marry you and most women can learn how to trigger these deeper feelings in their men.

Many articles are written about how to get a ‘JAMAICAN MAN’, but it is also extremely important to know how to maintain the relationship and keep the man in your life. Many Jamaican men are afraid of taking the step towards marriage because they feel ” THE WOMAN CHANGES ONCE SHE GETS THE RING “. Yes, sometimes women take things for granted and some women are very immature in their actions, however, most times poor communication and misunderstanding are the main culprits that lead to the road of separation. Below are some of the things women need to keep in mind to maintain a great marriage to a Jamaican man.

1) LISTEN- The first year in a marriage is ” THE GETTING TO KNOW EACH OTHER YEAR”. It is the year you get to learn the most about your partner. Although you will continue to learn about him as the years go by, the first year is when you are most taken aback by his different moods and actions, re-actions and general personality. Jamaican men basically communicate more during the dating stage and the beginning of marriage. LISTEN WELL and ask questions if you are not sure. Women who do not listen well and/or do not pay much attention to what he says, you will miss out and suffer the consequences later. He will shut down after he feels you are not very sensitive to his needs or desires(not that he is selfish, but he thinks if you love him you will try to do the things he likes). Most Jamaican men are extremely family oriented and will not be quick to get a divorce, however he can totally shut down while remaining in the matrimonial home. The Jamaican man will tell you his likes and dislikes but he will not repeat himself constantly!! So remember ladies, our first line of duty is to LISTEN!! He will certainly not have the same discussion over and over!

2) COMMUNICATE- The next step to have a great marriage to a Jamaican man is to learn to communicate well. Our Jamaican men are not the most patient of men and will get frustrated very easily. You however can have him loving you even more and wanting to be around you more if he feels connected and free to be himself. It is very important for a woman not to attack her husband when he says something she does not like or approve of. It is extremely hard sometimes to control our emotions but it is very important to do so. Never sweep bad feelings under the carpet, just choose the appropriate time to talk. Most discussions can be had in the bedroom, just before bed (especially if kids are in the home). Try never to go to bed angry with each other. If the problem needs more time to solve it, make a date to do so, going out for a drink, dinner or even a walk, can be a very relaxing way to talk more and come to an understanding with disagreements. The main thing is to give each other time to talk while the other listens. Put yourself in the other partner’s shoe and ask ” how would I feel”? Getting respect from his woman is at the top of a Jamaican man’s list. Never talk to a Jamaican man as if you are in charge, always be submissive, however have it all together. Know exactly what you want and stick to the point (Do not keep straying on things he did the months before).

3) BE A GREAT HOMEMAKER- A Jamaican man takes pride in his home. His home is his castle where he is the king and likes to have peace. Home is where he comes to re-charge, relax and be himself. He does not like to come home and have to face an argument or a disgruntled face. He enjoys coming home to a beautifully put together woman with welcoming arms who is happy to see him. Jamaican men enjoys coming home to a very clean house and also appreciate a delicious mea l. They like a wife who cooks well and entertains well. This practice is his idea of having an excellent homemaker and wife. He also likes it when his wife cares a great deal for his health

4) FIND OUT HIS SLEEP ROUTINE- One very important thing couples need to look out for “what time clock is your partner on “. This is not taken into consideration by many and has caused many separations. Some people are morning people, which means they are more alive, alert and vibrant in the mornings. The morning person gets up very early in the mornings and can sometimes be insensitive to the sleeping needs of the other person. They sometimes feel the need to discuss some very important things early in the morning, which would at that time not be processed properly by the other spouse who is trying to sleep or relax in bed. Sometimes the feeling of rejection can start to brew if one partner’s conversation is taken lightly in this case, or if their sexual advance and desires are brushed aside. The same thing happens when one partner is a night person and the other is not, The night person might feel like he/she is being rejected, not getting enough attention and not being loved ultimately. Once this part of the relationship is sorted out and couples can compromise, a huge weight can be lifted off the shoulders of the marriage.

5) LOOK OUT FOR HIM- Jamaican men like it when their women “HAVE THEIR BACKS”. Never discuss him in a negative way with your best friends or family members. Never crack jokes about him in a negative light or expose his downfalls to others. This lets him feel less of a man and not comfortable around you. If your partner is the type of person who likes the spotlight, say things to uplift him, when around others. Pay attention to his interests, hobbies and goals in life, be supportive at all times. Always let it be known to him and others that you are on his side. Always wait until you get home to let him know if you totally disagree with him on a particular matter.

6) LET HIM BE THE MAN- Jamaican men like to be in charge of the family. Their actions might not show it at times, but they have the need to constantly” WEAR THE PANTS”. They are usually filled with pride and cares what people think of them regarding being the head of the house. Let him have equal input on major decisions regarding the house, the family and finance. Be affectionate and gentle to him, yet strong and assertive when the need arise. The Jamaican, man although he likes to be in charge loves a strong woman.

7) MAINTAIN YOUR APPEARANCE- Like every other man, the Jamaican man is very proud when his wife “FIXES UP HERSELF” (looks good all the time)After all, it was one of the reason he was first attracted to you! Even when finances are not up to scratch, groom your hair in an attractive fashion, take the time to wear some make up and wear clothes that fits well. Many women tend to eat more during stressful times and therefore put on weight, never go out and buy new clothes to fit into after a weight gain. Work out at the gym or take long walks to shed those extra pounds!! Always maintain good hygiene, wear his favourite perfumes and ALWAYS, ALWAYS wear great lingerie.

8) INTIMACY – The lock to a great marriage! Every thing else can close that door but if you really want a secure and firm relationship, the extra bolt on that door would be great intimacy with him. A Jamaican man enjoys extra attention and will get it from somewhere!! So make sure it comes from you!!Intimacy does not start in the bedroom!! always remember, you have to make him feel like the man, be the sexiest you can be, listen to him, communicate well, have his back, be a great homemaker and you will have his heart. Let him feel you submit to him, look in his eyes with great passion when you talk to him and remind him you are his baby(no matter how old you are). When a Jamaican man feels he can trust you and there is passion he will give himself, his heart and his soul to you. Sex is of utmost importance to the Jamaican man, however when it comes to his special woman he prefers the term” making love”. Love making is the ultimate gift between a man and his wife, the Jamaican man has no reservation when it comes to that special time. When a Jamaican man is happy and content he can create heaven here on earth for you.

Title and Author:

The Smartest Man in Babylon by George S. Clason

Synopsis of Content:

During the 1920s George S. Clason wrote a series of pamphlets on how to gain financial security and success. Financial institutions gave them away to customers. In 1926 Clason brought them all together in a book called The Richest Man in Babylon.

The book is written as a fable about a man in ancient Babylon who is getting nowhere in his finances and learns valuable lessons from a wise man who has mastered the use of money. He tells the compelling story of the struggling Bansir who builds chariots for a living but never has any wealth to show for it and how he learns lessons from the successful and wise Arkad, the richest man in Babylon. As he spins the tale he teaches these key principles to the reader.

In addition to identifying these key principles he explains how they are used to build wealth and financial security. The lessons would have been valid in ancient Babylon, were equally valid in 1920s America and remain equally valid today.

He identifies seven key principles to achieve lasting financial success:

1. Start thy purse to fattening.

2. Control thy expenditures.

3. Make thy gold multiply.

4. Guard thy treasures from loss.

5. Make of thy dwelling a profitable investment.

6. Insure a future income.

7. Increase thy ability to earn.

He also examines the common failures that lead to losing wealth and failing. He teaches how to avoid these failures and overcome the weaknesses that lead to so much loss and suffering.

By writing a fable of an ancient civilization Clason brings us ancient wisdom which can be used today.

Usefulness:

This book is immensely useful to anyone who wishes to master the critical principles of building, preserving and growing wealth.

Readability/Writing Quality:

This book is very readable. It is like reading a small novel.

Notes on Author:

George Samuel Clason (November 7, 1874 – April 7, 1957), also known as George S. Clason, was born in Louisiana, Missouri, and died in Napa, California.

George Clason is best known for writing a series of informational pamphlets about being thrifty and how to achieve financial success. He started writing the pamphlets in 1926, using parables that were set in ancient Babylon. Banks and insurance companies began to distribute the parables and the most famous ones were compiled into the book The Richest Man in Babylon.

Three Great Ideas You Can Use:

1. Learn and apply Clason’s seven principles of financial wisdom.

2. You must take control of your finances. It requires daily effort to do this. It will pay off handsomely.

3. Living below your means will result in an ability to increase your means significantly.

Publication Information:

The Smartest Man in Babylon by George S. Clason

Copyright 1924-1955 by George S. Clason

Published by Penguin Books, USA.

In April, 2005, I was one of about ninety men to attend a pricey three day New Life Ministries conference in Costa Mesa, California promoted as a biblically based means for men to overcome problems with lust and to develop sexual purity. After attending this workshop, we were asked to prepare an evaluation. The information that follows is essentially this initial evaluation. Shortly later, it was also sent directly to Stephen Arterburn, who is a well known author, speaker, founder of New Life Ministries, and a co-author of the popular book, Every Man’s Battle. Before it was sent, I spoke with Mr. Arterburn directly. He seemed surprised by my call and promised to respond to my concerns after he had studied them. He never did respond and his staff has also refused to discuss this further.

The workshop in question is called Every Man’s Battle Workshop and it was developed by New Life Ministries, which actively recruits men by means of radio broadcasts, internet ads and other media. The workshop is held frequently in different parts of the country. Men come because they desire to win the battle over lust and are told that the material is “biblically based.” For many, committing time and money to come represents an act of desperation, since problems with lust have threatened their marriage and other relationships. Many come because they have read the book Every Man’s Battle by Fred Stoeker and Stephen Arterburn and want to incorporate its powerful message.

Unfortunately, the workshop and the book, though they share the same name, are very different in what they offer.

The book is straightforward and firmly based on Biblical teaching. The Workshop, on the other hand, is based on the teachings of the recovery movement with biblical teaching patched on.

Basically, the difference lies in how each views the reality of lust. This difference reflects the fact that popular Christian teaching is also clearly of two minds on this issue.

The most common view mirrors the one held by society. It holds that we men are incapable of controlling our sexual thoughts. Lustful thoughts are simply a part of our lives, with our imaginations easy prey to all kinds of sexual temptation. As our society devolves from a passive disapproval of pornography to a wholesale embrace of soft and hard-core pornography, this has stunning implications. If we cannot effectively control our thoughts, all men, including Christians, face an unachievable goal in seeking sexual purity.

A powerful, divergent view is taking root, in part because of the popular EMB book, which argues that Christian men are called to and capable of achieving purity in their thought lives. This view takes the teaching of scripture literally and offers a blueprint for overcoming sexual temptation in our thoughts and imaginations. The result is a liberating way to live in a society that is saturated with sexual images and accepting of sexual activities of all kinds.

As someone who was fundamentally changed by the EMB book and its practical approach, I sought to learn more and signed up for the workshop. The three day conference includes ten sessions of teaching and seven sessions of small group meetings with highly qualified therapists. New Life Ministries, the sponsor, is headed by Steve Arterburn, one of the authors of the EMB book.

To my amazement and great consternation, it was only after I was well into the workshop that I recognized that it was taking a fundamentally different direction than the one set forth in the book. Other participants expressed similar concerns. They too had been drawn in by the book and were bewildered by the content of the workshop.

In my view, here are the very striking differences between the EMB book and workshop:

1. The EMB workshop did not emphasize the ugly sinfulness at the core of sexual impurity.

From beginning to end, the EMB book emphasizes the fact that allowing impure sexual activity to take hold in our thought lives is a grave sin. For this reason, men need to confess and repent from this sin and then to thoroughly remove lust from their lives. Fundamentally, Christians must despise lust and attain an achievable standard of purity.

The workshop, in contrast, stuck closely to our culture’s accepted wisdom. In fact, the leader, David Wever, introduced himself with the classic twelve step introduction, “I am a sex addict.” During an early session the sin issue and the need to confess and repent was clearly explained. However, this straightforward biblical teaching was not the central theme of the conference and was basically abandoned along the way.

Instead of focusing on the sin of lust and how to eliminate it from our lives, the workshop message wrapped itself in therapeutic language. Recovery, relapse, and regression were just some of the key concepts that dominated. The bulk of the teaching dealt with inner conflicts, childhood experiences and emotional triggers that supposedly lie at the root of the problem. Dealing with our moods, past wounds and resentment was touted as essential in order to get a grip on this struggle.

This wholesale surrender to muddled, secular theories about uncontrolled lust contrasts strikingly with the sparse, direct approach utilized by the EMB book. For example, a fundamental insight provided by the EMB book is the distinction between “excellence” and “purity.” Excellence closely mirrors the world’s approach of achieving a high standard of behavior in the sexual realm. Christians can choose excellence by limiting their behavior and keeping sexual sin under control in a way that appears acceptable or even commendable.

Purity, on the other hand, is the clear biblical standard that calls us to eliminate lust across the entire spectrum of sexual behavior including our thoughts. Violating this standard is a sin that must be overcome.

Such fundamental distinctions were not emphasized in the workshop. Taking an uncompromising attitude towards the sin of lust and recognizing the need for forgiveness and repentance whenever this sin appears, was replaced with the model of addiction. Under this model, lust is a “thorn in the flesh” and the pre-victorious plight of Paul as described in Romans 7 is the norm. “What I hate, I do.” Once we view ourselves as addicts, the best we can seem to hope for is to manage our sexual desires.

2. The EMB workshop emphasized sexual sobriety rather than sexual purity as the goal.

Since there was an underlying assumption that our thought lives are always vulnerable to lust, the seminar introduced a new standard called “sexual sobriety.”

Keeping sexual sobriety means eliminating observable behavior such as viewing pornography, masturbation and illicit affairs. Such managing of our sexual desires and behaviors became the dominant theme. In fact, the workshop continually differentiated between externally visible and internal sins. At the last session the goal was summed up with the charge to “maintain sexual sobriety and strive for sexual purity.”

The “battle plan” needed to maintain sexual sobriety is an enduring program to prevent inner lust from “acting out” as external behavior. This program is grueling, time consuming and complicated. At a minimum it includes a regimen of weekly sessions with each of the following: a professional therapist, an accountability partner, a support group, and a pastor, in addition to daily personal prayer and study. Attendees are warned that choosing a less rigorous plan would undoubtedly result in failure.

If this looks like a plan modeled on the “recovery” programs common to drug and alcohol addiction groups, it is because this is exactly the approach prescribed. The underlying premise is that men who are caught up in sexual sin are broken and the required treatment must include an intense regimen of recovery sessions and therapy.

Sexual sobriety looks a lot like what Jesus accused the Pharisees of doing- cleaning the outside of the cup instead of the inside. Unfortunately for this approach, He was singularly unimpressed with surface purity. Instead, He taught that internal and external sins were equally repugnant to God and demanded purity of the heart so that there would be purity of action. This central truth is essential for any Christian response to compulsively powerful sins. When there is sin in the heart, it will eventually display itself outwardly. In fact, sexual sobriety without purity in the heart is an impossible charge.

Instead of drawing the line at outward behavior, the battle as the EMB book describes it is waged almost entirely internally. According to the book, Christians must overcome the sin of lust in their hearts. It does not mention “sexual sobriety,” a concept that has no basis in biblical teaching. Scripture also knows nothing about sexual addiction and it certainly does not provide carefully crafted strategies for managing our sexual desires. Instead of an unwieldy battle plan as demanded by the workshop, the EMB book sets forth, in a very systematic and compelling way, how every Christian man can obey God’s call for purity in their hearts.

Unfortunately, the goal of maintaining sexual sobriety as called for by the workshop is inadequate to the challenge of our day. Men who give in to sexual temptation at the inner level are no longer protected by the cultural restraints that historically have kept pornography and immorality at bay. In fact, the advent of the internet and other media provide a cesspool that is only a few clicks away.

It is inconceivable that the preferred way to overcoming what amounts to an epidemic problem is to commit to a lifestyle chock full of recovery activities. However, if that is the chosen solution, it is dramatically different than anything found in the EMB book.

3. The workshop does not offer the possibility of victory over lust and sexual sin.

Overcoming sexual sin is a battle. Temptation is abundant, since our culture openly promotes and glorifies lust. If the Christian does not respond by eliminating lust, the result is defeat, plain and simple.

The EMB book lays out a practical and brutally honest battle plan for winning the battle. It shows that by means of carefully disciplined behavior, literal acceptance of biblical teaching and a gracious dependence on our all-sufficient Savior, there is no reason that lust should reign in the hearts of a believer.

In a follow-up book to EMB called Everyman’s Challenge, there is a chapter called “The death of temptation.” It describes a condition where sexual temptation is no longer a persistent problem. By overcoming lust on a daily basis, the temptation towards this sin loses its power. When one enters this or any battle with sin, one should do so with the expectation of victory.

Unfortunately, the EMB workshop holds out no prospect of victory. Nothing close to this concept is promoted or illustrated. In stark contrast to the victorious message of the EMB book, the EMB workshop describes a never-ending struggle. Because it buys in to the addiction model, the best it can offer is a twelve step treadmill that can never be escaped. Can an addict ever win? Of course not. He is doomed to furtively flee every temptation and to desperately manage his passions. In a culture that is losing all self control, this is a battle that can’t be won. In fact, attendees are told that relapses (breaking sobriety) are not failures, but mere slips into old habits that are bound to happen.

Buy the book and skip the workshop.

Every Christian man faces sexual temptation. It is his duty as a servant of God to overcome sin, including the lust in his heart. He is called to be radically different than those who do not have the power of God in their lives.

If you are seeking this result, I urge you to pick up the EMB book, understand the biblical principals it develops and then to apply the practical tools it recommends. This has worked for me and for many others.

Stay away from the EMB workshops unless you are seeking a conventional therapeutic approach. The book and the workshop are fundamentally different and this should be clear to everyone, especially to those who are shelling out big bucks to attend.

Several times during the workshop, the EMB book was dismissed as a primer in comparison to the more robust approach being presented. This is a tragic mistake. The teaching provided at the EMB workshops, in my view, is clearly inferior to that of the book and undermines its clear, relevant message. It is unfortunate and confusing that both the book and the seminar share the same name since their approaches are so completely at odds.