Long gone are the 1950's era of romance. Boy likes girl. Boy gives girl flowers. Boy meets the parents. Girl meets his parents. They get married happily ever after. Nowadays, dating is much more complicated. Careers, finance, mixed families through divorce, social media, internet, etc.

While the dynamics of dating have changed in many ways thanks to feminism and social media, you would be surprised at how little some things haven't changed in terms of what men and women are looking for in a partner. While it is now common for women to work outside of the home and cheating is more rampant than ever thanks to technological advances in communication, men and women are still attracted to many of the same qualities they were 60 years ago.

From personal experience and through surveying hundreds of men and women, I have discovered some very inconvenient truths about the hearts of men and women.

1. Men and women are rarely "just friends": That's right! When men and women spend a lot of time communicating, biology and science says that one of the parties will probably develop a secret sexual attraction. The male counterpart will usually be the culprit, as men are more sexually driven than most women. Men will be "just friends" with a woman if that's all she truly desires, but be rest assured, a man will wait patiently for his chance to strike! While there are some exceptions, generally, men and women can't be "just friends". If you're in a relationship, it is very practical to be jealous of your partner spending ample amounts of energy and time communicating with members of the opposite sex who aren't you! We were biologically designed to mate with each other after all! While it is tempting to lash out at your partner for texting or spending time with members of the opposite sex, it is best to sit down and discuss what is appropriate and what isn't. If you can't come to an agreement, it may be a clear-sign that you don't share the same values ​​in order to build a proper relationship. Perhaps your husband loves to have lunch with his female secretary, while you think it's an invitation for temptation, he sees it as "innocent". But be warned, whatever you ask of your partner, you should be able to hold yourself to the same rules and standards! If your husband or boyfriend is spending large amounts of time texting or hanging out with another woman, unless it is purely for business purposes you can almost guarantee that he is sexually attracted to her. While women often keep many "guy friends" on the side to use as "emotional tampons" to vent their frustrations on or to keep around as "back-ups" in case their relationship doesn't work out. Many surveys show that 60% of men and women have "back-up" lovers. A shocking statistic that really makes you wonder if men and women can truly be monogamous.

2. Men are more shallow in terms of appearance: While there are always exceptions to the rule, men are generally more caught up in a woman's physical appearance than a women is with a man's appearance. 9 times out of 10, a man will choose the supermodel woman over the plain looking career-woman any day of the week. However, as a man matures, his preferences may balance out. Instead of going for the perfect 10 with a bad attitude, he will find more satisfaction with the "7 or 8" who is more well-rounded, dependable and nurturing. Men biologically seek out women who are physically attractive as a way to carry on healthy genes in their children.

3. Women are gold-diggers, kinda ?: There is a common misconception that women are only after a man's resources and income. While it is true that women are definitely attracted to wealth and status, that isn't to say that a woman would not date a man who is poor, so long as he is actively pursuing goals. Women are attracted to driven men who are determined to build a life for themselves and their family. This goes back to our caveman (cavewoman) instincts. A man who is building a career for himself can be seen a potential provider and protector of the family. While there are some modern career women who prefer to be the leaders of their family, once women have children, they will almost always desire to stay home with their children while the father provides. It's a natural evolutionary cycle.

4. Do men like feminists ?: If you look at any typical feminist: She has a career mindset, dyed purple hair, nose ring, loud, says fathers aren't necessary, usually ends up in their 30s as a childless career woman or they end up dating weak men who take on a more submissive role. This is why there is a huge exodus of men who are seeking out wives who are from places like Asia, Latin America, and Eastern Europe where the women are more submissive and feminine. However, due to the rising cost of living in the west, many American men are warming up to the idea of ​​women seeking out careers and practicing more independence to alleviate their own financial stress.

5. Sex and money are still the main motivators for marriage and divorce: People get married because they enjoy eachother's company (sex) and / or one of the partners is a good financial provider. Conversely, these are also the same reasons why people divorce! When the sex begins to get boring, one of the partners fails to maintain their physical attractiveness, or the income-earning partner loses his / her job, the chances of divorce skyrocket! sex and finances are the two most important things in a relationship.

6 Men need to shut up and just listen !: When women come to men with their problems, men will often interrupt with suggestions on how to fix the issue, the woman will then become annoyed and stop talking all together at the surprise of the man . However, what women fail to realize is that men have "mechanical" brains. Due to our evolutionary role as "providers" and "builders", men sometimes fail to see the emotional rationals behind a woman's speech. Sometimes women just want to vent without receiving a "Self-help" pep-talk in return.

7. Men show their love in more basic ways: Women often dream of the man who plays guitar, writes poetry, or does grandiose romantic gestures. While men sometimes perform these acts, especially during the early stages of dating, men are a bit more practical in the ways they show love. As Steve Harvey often says, "Men show their love with the three" P's ", – Profess. Provide. Protect". Men will honor their women by publicly professing, "This is my woman!", They will provide for her by earning a good income for the household, and they protect her by scaring off any would-be creeps who would try to hit on her or make advances towards her.

8. Women care more about kissing than intercourse: While women enjoy the sexual act of intercourse, many women will admit that love-making without kissing makes them feel "dirty" or "used". For a woman, kissing is the ultimate expression of love. When a man kisses a woman without sex, it shows that he craves her soul, not just her vagina. Many women have admitted to me that they would be more angry at a cheating spouse for passionately kissing another woman than they would be if he simply had intercourse with another woman without kissing being involved, since men often compartmentalize their sexual actions in terms of love and pleasure.

9. Why do men and women cheat? With social media making it easier to stay connected with ex-lovers and pretty much anyone we meet on the street, cheating has become easier now than any other time in history. It is also easier to get caught thanks to the "screenshot" option used on our phones. While men have had mistresses since the dawn of time, it was an act that was done discreetly and was associated with shame if caught. Now, it has become also an expectation that you will not be the only person someone is sleeping with. Men tend to cheat based purely on novelty. They get bored having sex with the same partner everyday, and seek out new lands to conquer. They may be completely in love with their wives or girlfriends, but they seek out the excitement of a new body to explore. It is purely a physical thing. Women on the other hand, usually cheat when they feel emotionally neglected by their spouse. Their affairs begin with an emotional fling that later becomes physical. This is why society is harder on women who cheat because of the common held belief that women cheat with their hearts, while men cheat with their penis.

10. Love is held together by three chemicals: Serotonin and Dopamine are released anytime you see a beautiful woman, anytime you kiss you someone, anytime you have an orgasm. These chemicals activate the pleasure centers in your brain, essentially turning you into a drug-addict, craving more and more. As you continue to repeatedly kiss, have sex, and spend time with this person, another hormone slowly begins to produce. "Oxytocin", aka "The love chemical". Oxytocin is responsible for the feelings of "attachment". When you break up with your spouse, or they die, you go through a withdrawal of oxytocin, dopamine, and seratonin, which is quite painful. Without oxytocin, your mom, your father, your brother, your wife, they would mean nothing to you. Attachments would be almost impossible to form with them. Like most things in life. everything is created upon "habit". Relationships are no different. They do not form in one day, they are created through imprinted repetition. And before you know it, you are thinking about this person everyday without realizing how it happened! Thanks to serotonin, dopamine, and oxytocin, this person who was once a stranger, is now constantly on your mind! This can be a good thing or a bad thing, depending on how the relationship unfolds. It is great for the happily married, but not so great when a break-up occurs, which can take months or even years to recover from emotionally and physically.

11. STDs are more common than you think: 70% of people over the age of 40 in the USA have some form of herpes, while many don't even know they have it. In fact, it is so common that many doctors don't even test for it anymore. In terms of race, African-American Americans have the highest percentages of STDs, followed by Caucausians (whites), then Latinos, and with Asians having the lowest percentages of STD rates. No matter what the race is of your partner, before engaging in sex, it is important to discuss this topic with your partner. "Are you clean?", If the person knowingly has a disease and lies about it, that person could face legal actions. Medically time-stamped records will show when a person was diagnosed. If your partner was diagnosed with HIV in 2006, and they told you they were clean in 2007, then that person has essentially committed a criminal act against your health! If you are positive for an STD, be sure to be completely honest with your partner. They will respect you much more for it.

12. Child support: No matter what form of birth-control you use, there is also a 1% chance it could fail. A good rule of thumb is to never have sex with someone who you couldn't imagine being the parent of your child. 60% of marriages in USA end in divorce. If you are a man, that means you will probably be paying child support, which means that half of your check will be confiscated for the next 18-20 years. How does that ramen noodle dinner taste? Being unable to pay child support payments can result in losing your drivers license and / or being sent to prison. It is no laughing matter.

13. Rape and false-allegations of rape: Before letting a potential partner come to your house, or you go to their house, be sure to spend a lot of time meeting up at public places, talking on the phone, and truly building a foundation of trust. Men are very much sexually motivated when it comes to dating. Any hint you give them in regards to having sex, they will most likely not turn it down. However, men should know the difference between consent and non-consent. If a woman says, "No! I'm not ready ', that means" Take your hands off! ". It's that simple. Some men do not understand this. However, there are some women who engage in consensual sex with a man and then latter regret it. In order to save face, they may cry "rape". There have been many famous cases regarding false-rape allegations that have destroyed the lives of innocent men. for this reason among many others listed.

Relationships can be a lot of fun. Traveling together, hanging out, having companionship, enjoying sexual chemistry. However, it also requires much sacrifice and taking responsibility. Sex is an act designed by nature to create life. It is pleasurable. The pleasure behind sex encourages our species to multiply. Sex was not designed to be a toy. It is a way to create bonding between two people as a secondary benefit, and to create life as a primary benefit. Sex and relationships are no laughing matter. When they work out, they create wonderful memories full of life and joy. When they don't work out, they can literally ruin the emotional, physical, and financial health of those involved. Love should not be shunned, but it should also not be taken lightly.

When you create a relationship, do it respectfully. When you end the relationship, also do it with respect. All human life is precious. When two parties separate, it is rarely easily or pleasurable for either party involved.

Good luck on your love journey! May God bless you all.

Remember those old black-and-white movies, where the man would jump out of the car, run around the other side, and open the door for his lady? Back then, chivalry was considered the normal way that men should behave. That was, until the 1950s, when feminism was born. When this happened, men seemed to got the wrong idea about the feminist movement. They seemed to think it meant that their services were no longer required. They were no longer needed to be kind, and gentle, and understanding of their female companions. As a result, the gentleman has become a dying breed. Unfortunately, they misunderstood. Although the feminist movement was about female independence and female equality, it didn’t mean that they no longer wanted to be treated like a lady.

Here are a few tips that you can use that will help you learn how to be a gentleman again, and treat your lady with the respect that she deserves. Always keep her at the forefront of your mind, and be mindful of her feelings. When you are entering a building, why not open the door for her? As you come home from work at night, Stop and buy your loved one a bunch of flowers occasionally, and always remember to comment on her general appearance, paying particular attention to her shoes and her hair.

Remember that song, “I Need A Hero”? This song is very popular among women, and for good reason, they are looking for a hero. They need someone to stand up for them, they need someone to speak out against the wrongs in the world, and with the right attitude, you can be that person. Learn to be more assertive, without being aggressive, and you will have learnt the secret to being a gentleman. If your lady is talking to you about problems that are happening in her life, it is good to try and help, and to work out a way to solve them, but remember that sometimes women just want to be listened to. They are not asking you for a solution, they are just asking for your ears.

Many people detest political correctness, but there have not been enough credible arguments made against it. I have given thought to the matter and came up with rational refutations of some of their central claims. I do so as someone who fully supports women's rights – both to safety at home and a fulfilling life outside the home – but recognizes that, in order to regain viability, feminism needs to change course from political correctness and into a movement that actually benefits women . And this means: Improving their lives at home and outside the home – as relating, once again, to their life both inside the home and outside the home.

Claim: Domestic violence is done by people with personality disorders.

Answer: In socially liberal cultures, where abuse against women is against the norm, the people who do it are people who are in violation of social norms – which, by definition, are possessing of personality disorders. The problem is, that's not where most abuse against women occurs; and in much of the world (and many parts of Western countries) abuse against women is the social norm. Which means that, in the places where abuse against women is most severe, it is done not by sociopaths, narcissists or borderlines but by your average Joe, Abdul, Praveem, Igor or Jamaal. And in those places, it is the men who do not practice abuse against women who are in violation of the social norm – meaning that, according to the logic of personality disorders, in much of the world one would have to be a sociopath, a narcissist or a borderline not to abuse women.

Claim: Sex industry leads men to see women as sex objects and causes rape.

Answer: The places where rape is the worst are places that don't have a sex industry. Congo, Afghanistan, Ethiopia and Bosnia do not have a sex industry, and rapes there far exceed those of Netherlands or California. Rape pre-exists sex industry by thousands if not millions of years and are in no way a result of the sex industry.

Claim: Beauty is a patriarchial institution that destroys women's self-esteem.

Answer: By that standard so is intelligence. Yet we do not see feminists claiming that school students cannot get A's because some students get D's, or that them doing so destroys the D students' self-esteem. As with intelligence, some are more gifted with beauty than others, and some do more to work to develop their beauty than others. This is not apatriarchial anything. This is reality.

Claim: Love is a patriarchial racket that leads women into situations of abuse.

Answer: The worst abuses take place not in situations based on love, but in situations of either arranged marriages, rape or false advertising. Afghanistan and rural India have far worse abuses against women than does Paris or San Francisco, and in Afghanistan and rural India the marriages are arranged. In rural Ethiopia, the favorite way to get a wife is to rape a teenage girl – and violence in such matches is also extreme. In places where partners choose one another, most of the ones who become abusers are the ones who have put on a false front, misrepresenting themselves to the woman as nice people and springing the abuse on the woman once she is theirs. In none of these cases, which comprise the bulk of abuse situations, is love at fault.

Claim: Beauty is only culturally construed or socially dependent.

Answer: Go to Yosemite Park or listen to Incan music and tell me that again. As for women's beauty, Professor Judith Langlois ran a study that showed that a face with particular proportions will be recognized as beautiful everywhere in the world. And while there are any number of women who will be seen as beautiful by some and not beautiful by others, this study proves that, in addition to relative beauty, there is also absolute beauty that appeals to everyone. And that shows that beauty has a reality outside of cultural dependency and appeals to something universal in human beings.

Claim: Masculine perspective is by nature destructive.

Answer: John Muir, Mohandas Gandhi, Albert Einstein, Nelson Mandela, Thomas Jefferson, Ben Franklin, Earl Warren, Nikolai Tesla, Nelson Rockefeller, Henry Ford, Robert Frost and Steven Jobs were all men. And there were many, many other men who have done highly constructive things in the world.

Besides these problems, political correctness has motivated the women who listened to it to become horrible harpies and to abuse the women who did not buy into political correctness along with the men who loved these women. It has also attacked the good qualities that are more natural to women than to men – qualities such as beauty, warmth, compassion and tenderness – and put them into a race where they can only be second while denying the place in which they are first. Some of them really think that beauty is incompatible with intelligence – they have obviously not known enough Jewish or Russian women, who are by and large more educated and more intelligent than they are, and who also tend to be very beautiful. All in all, they destroyed the best feminine qualities in the women who listened to them and reduced them to being the worst women in the world.

A distinction therefore must be drawn between real feminism and political correctness. One is a noble and rightful cause; the other is a wrongful and poisonous misdirection. For as long as there are men who believe it their right or their duty to batter or to oppress women, there is a need for a strong feminism. But it has to be a feminism based on truthful analysis and one that actually benefits the women of the world.

“Ye to sirf prostitues karti hain”

(It’s a dance done only by prostitutes)

I was dumbfounded one morning when my boss made that scathing statement while we were discussing how we spend our weekends pursuing our passions. He further went on to share some unsolicited advice on how I should “Do it only infront of my husband or boyfriend.”

I was infuriated by this crude ridicule of the integrity of the art I love and my soul felt agitated. I would have made a snide remark about his caveman mindedness if, at that instant, the demure girl in me wasn’t forced to reconsider the choice made a year back.

I reminisced. I had, with great enthusiasm, consciously chosen to learn belly dancing as a way to explore and express my femininity. Initially I was skeptical about participating in an experience that is assumed to be sexually exploitative but was immediately struck with contradiction. For the first time I appreciated my body for what it was able to accomplish physically and aesthetically.

It felt so good. The doubt transpired. It transfigured into an urge to spread awareness about the art form and address the stigma attached to it.

‘Belly Dance’ is a popular improvised version of Raqs Sharqi, a dance form originated in the Middle East that involves undulating and serpentine movements of the torso. Highly recognized by the image of a voluptuous woman in a sequined costume and bare midriff performing such movements.

It originated as an art form passed on from a mother to her daughter to prepare the womb for child birth and was often performed at social gatherings.

Then how come along the way an art with such sacred origins came to be known as disreputable, something no proper women would indulge into and it was shameful for men to watch as well.

Patriarchy.

“Belly dance exists at a point of conflict between women’s expressions of fundamental truths, and patriarchal interpretations of this expression. It is not an easy place to be”, Andrea deagon phrases it well. It is these points of conflicts from which we can alter realities.

While for women the dance was a way to express emotions and a creative outlet to reconnect with their sensual selves which is an intrinsic aspect of human state.

The patriarchal era viewed women as a potentially disruptive force and their sexuality considered dangerous, due to the assumption that men are unable to resist their powerful lure.

The cruel patriarchal norms thus gave rise to a stereotype of belly dancers as sexually available, morally questionable, exotic unveiled dancer, an antithesis to restrained Muslim womanhood.

Moreover, when the west started to colonize Middle East, it attached the element of exotic to it. Failing to understand the movement vocabulary they wrongly perceived it as something sensual and irrational. It was soon shunned as a dance that arouses carnal desires in men.

Because men cannot control themselves against women’s allure, they put the responsibility on women instead. Are there any other reasons why it would be so intrinsically wrong for women to express their sensuality in public?

I would say belly dance is transgressive because it destabilizes social assumptions that women should not (publicly) shake, or draw attention to their breasts, hips, abdomens, and especially their pelvises.

Today, women around the world are taking it up and you ask them why?

To go beyond the comfortable into what stretches, challenges and revitalizes the mind. It helps them to tap into their physicality, reconcile with their body, feel liberated and foster a spirit of sisterhood.

It is sad that such an expressive dance form remains so misunderstood by a majority of the society and because of my unabashed love for it I can only hope the world soon comes to embrace it.

Patriarchy has always been the trend in many societies all over the world. In this universe, men are always regarded as higher than women. The female population has always struggled to fight for their right and equal opportunities. The dawn of the feminist movement has allowed more and more women to unchain themselves form the dictates of patriarchy and discover their potentials. At this point, women were able to prove that they were equals of men and patriarchy, although a resilient trend, can always be done away with. The corporate world then experienced the robust leadership of women and witnessed as more and more women outshone men in different fields of specialization.

Gender equality has manifested itself in a lot of ways. Even the fashion industry was not an exception. Women previously wore dresses ornamented with boughs and festooned with laces. Men wore scarves, ties and coats. From these dresses alone, you can equate women as being fragile and men being the stronger sex. Fashion was a status symbol, it was the status quo. But with the changing status of men and women, fashion went on with the flow and allowed women to wear pants, coats and neckties-pieces of clothing that were previously only for the distinguished sex.

Neckties are minute and sometimes trivial details of men's wardrobe. This tie has stood by feminism and became the shining beacon of gender and class equality. If you try to look around, you will notice that neckties are not just worn by men, but by women as well with utter disregard to their political affiliations and social status.

All over the world, you will see that there are schools that require their students, both girls and boys, to wear neckties as part of their uniform. These neckties have no specific cuts or colors to distinguish each sex. However, the only distinguishing part of the uniform is skirts, worn by women, but then again, coats are still worn with neckties.

In the global economy, where there are both men and women players, there is no restriction as to who can wear a coat with neckties. Everyone is simply required to project an image o formality and decency. People wear coats regardless of their position and everyone wears a necktie, again, with disregard to whoever is more highly educated or has the authority. Everyone is afforded the right to wear a necktie in special occasions, business meetings, weddings, interviews and the like.

Neckties have always represented superiority and power. This piece of clothing accessory were worn strictly and exclusively by men and those who warrant respect and obedience. It was only for the distinguished few. But with the changing times, the neckties were afforded to everyone who deserve the same as respect as they are human beings and as such, have the same rights and warrant the same respect afforded to anyone.

No one should feel restricted to wear neckties. No one should even hesitate to do so. If you want to command respect from everyone around you, wear your tie. Not everyone knows what a necktie stands for but it's about time that they do, through you.

Cloudstreet – A Review and Analysis

I suppose this text is deeply influenced by the rather in vogue traditions of Post colonial literature; that body of work finding a voice for those traditionally silenced in the traditional and mainstream body of literature. Cloudstreet provides a voice and in the process romanticizes the ordinary lives of working class, largely uneducated, insular yet genuine and honest people.

Cloudstreet also provides a really vivid and moving, symbolic representation of Aboriginal Australia in the almost magical appearances of the ‘Blackfella’ as a type of moral compass and ‘Gandalf/Dumbledore’ ‘agent of wisdom’ device. The ‘Blackfella’ provides advice to characters, suggesting Quick return home and warning Sam against selling Cloudstreet, ‘Too many places are busted…places are strong…important’. This also reflects Winton’s use of Traditional Aboriginal attitudes towards ‘place’ as part of identity and a broader collective soul and belonging.

The images of totem spirits and the ghosts or spirits living within Cloudstreet also reinforce Aboriginal conceptions of time as a non-linear, polychrome and interactive entity. Imagery of Totem spirits is developed, for example where an aboriginal is perceived as ‘much a bird as a man’, and another spirit who acts as Fish’s guardian angel is described as: ‘A dark man comes flying by a tree, you see the whites of his eyes and tingle with rumours of glory’, and just before Fish’s death and spiritual salvation, ‘a black man leaves the trees like a bird and goes laughing into the sun with a great hot breeze that rolls off the roof of the world.’

Context

Firstly the text was written during the later 1980’s, you will find some similarities between the texts memorable and at times comic subversion of traditional gender roles and archetypes and the ideas promoted as part of third wave Feminism…which rejected any hard and fast, dogmatic notion of female identity. Third Wave feminism differs from other previous feminist movements, intellectually, in its promotion of a diffuse, open and all embracing idea of feminine…This resonates particularly with Winton’s acceptance of his two extreme females who dominate much of the novel…in accepting the sexual and alcoholic excess of Dolly and the authoritarian excess of Oriel.

Secondly, Winton was part of a subversive discourse celebrating ‘Aboriginality’ and the publishing of Cloudstreet coincided with a broad change in Australian attitudes towards aboriginals best signified by the historic Mabo case establishing native title in 1992 and rejecting the legal principle of Terra Nullius.

Another important aspect to Cloudstreet is undoubtedly Winton’s deep although at times unorthodox Christian faith, this is reflected in the continual references to bible stories, and even at times Winton’s language resonates with a succinct yet profound style perhaps mirroring the bible. You, the reader, are given enormous scope to take what you will from these references…for example I have been told Quick’s characterisation mirrors that of the story of the ‘Prodigal Child’ and perhaps his departure from home reflects Christs ‘years in the wilderness’…and then the reader is challenged with the more explicit biblical references, for example the images of holy communion in the car with Quick and the ‘Blackfella’, The ‘Blackfella’s walking on water and Quick’s luck with catching the fish….the list goes on…I suppose for me, forgive me for being blunt, but the central ‘message’ is undoubtedly what the reader will make of this intertwining of Spiritual and real within Cloudstreet…I felt this was the central conflict if you like within the text symbolised with Fish’s struggle with the dichotomy of the Real and the Spiritual…This is further evidenced by the union of the title Cloudstreet symbolising the final resolution/compromise or reconciliation between the ethereal, magical and spiritual with the mundane reality of a life geared around the material.

The Question of Literary Status

You would think this eternal question and apparent subjectivity in answer about whether any text constitutes literature would feature more prominently in any sort of appraisal of any text. For a change I would suggest as the foremost evidence for Cloudstreet’s status as a seminal and profound part of the Australian and indeed English speaking literary cannon is its success spanning over thirty years, proving it was not simply successful as some sort of political manifesto for the changing social attitudes and perceptions during the 80’s and 90’s to do with gender, class, spirituality and Aboriginality…it has captured the soul of Australian life through its unnerving attention to detail and its unique ‘localness’…it has truly established a claim to reflect the universal…

Final Review

Cloudstreet is one of my favourite books, there is something appealing to its grounded approach to heady questions of spirituality, something comforting in its central juxtaposition of the magical beside the mundane, perhaps there is room for spiritual renewal in all our daily lives…

I’m not sure my whole article/ramble has done much in terms of analysis in its superficial glossing over… of the incredible polysemy within Cloudstreet and even less justice to the idea of a ‘review’ with its implicit expectation of some form of judgment or appraisal… but I feel the best I can do in terms of ‘finding a negative’ in Cloudstreet is identify to you what was not comforting to me… the aspects to the text which were faintly off putting… and I would remind you of the highly subjective and in the end meaningless value of such a sentiment… yet I will persist a little more in trying to convey it to you…

What put me off was the implicit endorsement of social stratification found in the text, very similar to One Day of the Year, in the way Cloudstreet identifies and then valorises the Working Class…but in the end the way Quick and Rose are coerced back into the fold of their family… forced away from dreams of a move up on the rung of the social hierarchy… I take issue with the one sided rejection of middle class values as pretentious in the characterisation of Toby Raven… Of coarse the suggestion here is class is in the end a meaningful and rightful delineation of humans based upon compatibility… Rose can’t connect with Toby…No she can only connect with ‘her own’….her fellow working class… Is this not a little unjust… And then there is this idea of the author taking a slightly patronising position as already part of the hegemony perpetuating stratified class, as a means of maintaining an obedient, uneducated and insular labour force….

I thank you for your attention, if you have managed to subject yourself to the entirety of my meandering, infuriatingly fragmented diatribe…I would only suggest in my defense that I have done exactly that capture fragments of my reaction and reading of Cloudstreet, it being impossible to do much more with such an open, diverse and meaningful text. Cloudstreet will undoubtedly remain a classic in the Australian canon of literature, and Winton’s place among our country’s authors is undoubtedly a unique and deeply respected one…I truly enjoyed reading this ripper of a novel!

This is the 21st Century, after much struggling and brow beating women achieved liberation; gone are the days where we have to hide our bodies and minds, yet many women still cower when it comes to sexy lingerie designed to raise blood pressures. Why is it that even the most independent modern woman can still be crippled with self-consciousness and dislike parts of her body? Or is the problem related to the fact that sexy lingerie is seen as an indulgence for the men’s eye?

Sexy Lingerie – Can You Wear It For Your Own Pleasure?

Wearing sexy lingerie doesn’t make us anti-feminists or any less of an independent woman. Sexy lingerie it is a multi-million pound industry and, girls, now is the time to jump on the band wagon if you haven’t already! Sexy lingerie is not about the man who gets to see it. It’s about how it makes us women feel, it’s a piece of clothing that can make us feel confident and sexy. You don’t even need to have a man, sexy lingerie isn’t always about having someone to show it off to, and you should only ever wear clothing that makes you feel good!

Bra Burning – What Does It Even Mean?

Some may say its anti-feminist, however lingerie has been a tool used by the feminist movement as far back as the 1800’s, from corset burnings in 1874 to the Bra burnings in the 1960’s and 70’s. The fact is women were not burning bras and corsets because they didn’t believe that women should indulge in sexy lingerie. The bras were used as a symbol. The very purpose of bras and corsets were to be restrictive, structured and supportive this was why they were used as a symbol of the restrictions for women in society. In fact the feminist movement in the late 1800’s and early 1900’s promoted the idea of the bra over the corset as they believed it was more suitable for women’s advancing role in society.

Wear Lingerie Because You Feel Like It!

So even if you purchased a sexy chemise, babydoll or teddy to show off to your partner, are you pandering to a male’s whim or your own? No longer do we wear lingerie to pander to society’s preferred female shape, like women suffered for hundreds of years. We can wear whatever type of lingerie we want whether that is a teddy, corset, chemise, or baby doll. The shape and look that you go for is entirely your own choice.

So just because you are strutting your stuff in a delectable piece of lingerie does not make you anti-feminist even if you are wearing it for your partners enjoyment. The stereotype of a feminist is not a common reality!

Geoffrey Chaucer’s the Wife of Bath appears to be one of the most overplayed and ideologically overcharged characters of the English literary history. Although a weaver by profession, she thrusts her reader into a parallel world of ideologies tailored to suit her own purposes. Her textual manipulation and historical distortions form the major content of her prologue and subsequently her tale.

Helen Cooper notes that the wife both draws on and critiques the tradition of anti-feminist literature. she asserts blatantly and unapologetically the most intimate details of her marital life giving concrete evidence of no theoretical justification to the number of successive marriages a person can have in his/her lifetime. She quotes from the bible stating that god had himself commanded man “to wexe and to multiplye”. This use of the bible and the ecclesiastical texts are recurrent in advancing her arguments. She understands the significance of economics in marital relationships and wishes to control it so as to have sovereignty in her conjugal relations. The clerical examples which she uses to illustrate her stand are those of Lamech, Abraham and Jacob all of who married more than once. Historically she elucidates the example of King Solomon who is presumed to have 700 wives and 300 concubines. Thus she had in-depth knowledge of religion, history and politics which she devoured literally combined with a capricious memory and the capriciousness of women.

To call her a feminist ahead of time would not be wrong since feminism was not an organized movement at that time. Barrie Ruth Straus avers that the wife of bath insists on her right to speak by silencing the other. The content of the prologue is unequivocally hers and it cannot be confused with anyone else’s. The caustic nature of her argument is made evident right from the beginning wherein she chides and rebukes men and questions their parameters of judging a woman. Some choose their “richesse” some “gentilesse” while some choose “fairnesse”. She is well aware of the advantages that femininity entails and alters them to her best advantage. She cleverly plays “hard to get” and exploits her first three husbands for their wealth, power and resources. The ultimate secret she reveals is that all who think they can penetrate into and control such texts she represents as deluded avers Strauss. Oddly enough this ebullient figure has many of its essential features borrowed from Chaucer’s reading of the Middle Ages. Her outpouring is a confession of sorts without a trace of the penitent’s ‘mea culpa’. Her glossing of texts or hermeneutics is essentially oral in tradition within a patriarchal paradigm and eventually succeeds within a male-discourse by using a male-language. She perpetually subverts the natural hierarchy of gender roles prevalent in the fourteenth-century. She calls into question the normative practices of society by her “experience” and “auctoritee” and her life becomes the micro-narrative to the meta-narrative of all suppressed women in society who are termed as ”cats”. Carolyn Dinshaw argues that since the wife of bath is intrinsically the creation of a male poet, he uses feminism in the tight compact of the patriarchal. Thus the ideology that is oppressive to women that confines women to the domestic sphere is interrogated rigorously. A phallocentric reading of the wife of bath terms her as a ”whore” since she boldly exploits her marital relations using blasphemous words against the church. A traditional reading encourages sympathy for her and a proto-feminist reading supports her stand. Samuel Jonson avers that “language is the dress of thought”, it is the semiotics that work to her advantage as she uses words without trivializing her incidents. Even her digressions prove to be clues for the reader to understand her individual psyche. She does not argue for a revolutionary social or political change, but her ideology engages with the notion that women-dominated relationships lead to long-lasting bliss for the individual and for the society. The prevalent marital structure has the capability and capacity to accommodate her independent will but does not do so since the dominant ideology is patriarchal. Chaucer creates this flamboyant character giving her the lengthiest prologue among all the other pilgrims and she has no comparison to any other character in English literature except perhaps Shakespeare’s Falstaff or the characters of dickens.

The Wife of Bath scrutinizes the existing battle of the sexes with a sprinkle of irony and humor, although her intentions are absolutely clear. Being a woman in the Middle Ages would ideally mean a silent victim of suffering and subjugation but the wife of bath consciously deviates from the ideal notions and instead does exactly what the deportment books say not to. Marriage for her means sexual satisfaction and not procreation. The sources for the narrative include ‘The Holy Bible’, Gospel of St. John, and Theophrastus’s ‘the golden book of marriage’. thus as a character, the wife of bath can be considered as an amalgam of ideologies including the feminist, religion, gender, historical and patriarchal. She has concrete substance to rely on. Her agonistic skills set her apart from any other woman of her times. Aaron Steinberg avers the content of the wife of bath’s prologue to be a war of ”maistrie” (absolute control) between males and females. Chaucer with his eager experimentation and eye for observation wanted readers to note the subliminal messages that the wife conveys in her debate as well as the explicit ones and gives her an ending of which is optimistic and appears to fulfill what she had always desired. Matthew Arnold views Chaucer as the “father of splendid English poetry” racing ahead of his contemporaries and his time expressing as well as questioning subtly the working and psychological underpinnings of ideology and society of his times and those to come

If a woman was asked to talk about what she thinks holds women back in life, she may say that it is themselves. What this might then show is that she has an internal locus of control.

On the other hand, another woman could be asked the same question, and she could say that it is men. As a result of this, it is likely to show that he has an external locus of control.

One Difference

When it comes to the first woman, there is the chance that he will see herself as an individual, as opposed to being part of a group or a movement. Said another way, she will be a women but, first and foremost, she will be a human being.

However, when it comes to the second woman, there is the chance that she will be a ‘feminist’. Being part of this movement can then take precedence, and it might not even occur to her she is an individual.

The Main Thing

Consequently, she is going to be part of the human race, but first and foremost, she will be a woman. It can then be as though she is part of a different species, with this species being women.

Her main concern is going to be to do what they can to make life better for herself and her fellow women, and not what she can do to assist humanity as a whole. It can be as if women live in their own bubble and, the only way to assist them will be focus purely on their concerns.

Shinning the Light

At the same time, a woman could have an internal locus on control and still be a feminist, but if this is the case, she is unlikely to behave in the same way as a feminist that has an external locus of control. Having an internal locus of control will allow someone to feel as though they have control over their life, whereas an external locus of control won’t.

With this in mind, if a woman has an external locus of control, it is not going to be a surprise for her to believe that men are in control of her life. She will feel completely powerless, so there will be absolutely nothing that she can do directly to change her life.

A Power Struggle

Through feeling so powerless, it is to be expected that she will be part of a movement; this will allow her to avoid how she feels. If she was to stand as an individual, for instance, this wouldn’t happen.

The power that she experiences, through being part of this movement, will be attained by having power over others. She can then call herself a ‘feminist’ and look virtuous, but she can be no different to someone who controls others.

Justified

But while there will be people who will see that she needs to develop an internal locus of control, she is unlikely to realise this. There is a strong chance that she is not even aware of how she perceives life.

This could just be seen as the truth, meaning that she will have every right to control men; with the help of other women and men. It will be black and white, with women being the oppressed and men being the oppressors.

Selective Perception

A woman like this will be wearing invisible glasses that cause her to see everything through the lens of gender. It won’t matter that there are moments in every man and woman’s life when they have good and bad moments, or that there are women on this planet who are far more ‘privileged’ than many men.

Yet, if her mind has been heavily propagandised by the education system and/or the media, for instance, it is not going to be a surprise for her to see life in this way. After all, human beings don’t see with their eyes; they see with their mind.

Idealisation

In order for a woman to believe that all men have it easy and that all women are oppressed/victims, it is going to be necessary for her to put men on a pedestal. Through seeing men in this way, it is then normal for her to believe that they have it easy.

When something like this takes place, it is usually a sign that someone is trying to avoid how they feel. The reason for this is that this is a defence mechanism, which is something that the mind uses to disconnect from the emotional pain that arises from the body.

Self-Awareness

It doesn’t take much effort to see that a woman will suffer if she believes that she has no control over her life. Subsequently, she is likely to be carrying a lot of pain within her that needs to be avoided.

Through having this outlook and carrying this pain, she is going to have a victim energy about her, and this is going to cause her to attract things that validate what she believes. But as she is attached to what is taking place within her and unable to observe her inner world and, therefore, to see how her inner world is affecting her outer world, what she experiences will just be seen as more evidence that what she believes is the truth.

A Barrier

She will be nothing more than an observer of her reality and the onus will be on men to change. One of the big problems here is that this kind of behaviour is supported by mainstream society.

Not only are people in general not encouraged to take responsibility for their own life; it is socially acceptable for a woman to blame men for all her problems. Men are then so ‘privileged’ that they have to put up with being constantly attacked and seen as the root of all problems.

A Deeper Look

If a woman has an external locus of control, there is the chance that there was a time in her life when she felt extremely powerless and helpless. This moment, or a number of moments, would then have caused her to believe that she has no effect on the external world.

The fact that she has an issue with all men can show that it was a man who made her feel this way. What took place with one man would then have gone on to define how she perceived all men.

Trauma

This could be something that took place when she was a young child; maybe her father abused her in some way. How she feels as an adult will then be how she felt as a child, and her beliefs about men will also have been formed during this time.

Ergo, through identifying with what happened all those years ago, it is not possible for her to live in the present. That time in her life is long gone, but she is keeping it alive by not working through the pain and the beliefs that were formed.

Conclusion

If we lived in a society that encouraged self-awareness and taking responsibility for our own issues, there would be no reason for a grown woman to have an external locus of control. There is nothing empowering about being this way, and the fact that feminism often encourages women to see themselves as victims is surely a clear sign that it is not necessarily there to benefit them.

Taking this into account, if a woman does feel powerless and as though she has no control over her life, it might be a good idea for her to work with a therapist or a healer. By dealing with the trauma that is within her, she will be taking the steps to be able to be an empowered individual.

Bisexuality is the potential to feel sexually attracted to and to engage in sensual or sexual relationships with people of either sex. A bisexual person may not be equally attracted to both sexes, and a degree of attraction may vary over time. This form of sexuality has created a lot of misconception and myth that need to be clarified:

These myths can be observed in the reactions towards bisexuals:

• Straight male’s reactions: Homophobic, hate and fear both bisexual and gay men, victimize, harass and are physically violent.
• Straight women’s reactions:

Towards bisexual men: Misguided fears about AIDS, ‘stop sitting on the fence and make up your mind’ attitude.

Towards bisexual women: fear they will make sexual overtures and try to ‘convert’ them to being bisexual.

• Gay male’s reactions: Bisexual men are really gay, but are in denial, should make up their mind and ‘just get over it’.
• Lesbian’s reactions: Distrust, ‘sleeping with the enemy’, betraying their allegiance to women and feminism, and hanging onto heterosexual privileges through relationship with men.

The myths seem to be changing slowly. People have started to question the notion that sexuality has to be labeled.

For those of us whose sexuality doesn’t fit neatly into a box it’s all very encouraging. As sexologist Alfred Kinsey pointed out, many people’s orientation lies somewhere between the extremes of gay and straight. Enforcing simplified categories is claustrophobic, dangerous and inaccurate. It reeks of separatism and results in lying about sexual preference in order to avoid stigma. Too bad if you want to experiment or if – shock horror – you suddenly change your mind.

Bisexuality challenges concepts of sexuality, traditional relationship and family structures, monogamy, gender, and identity. Bisexuals cannot conform or they would not be bisexual. Instead they must re-invent personal ethics and values for themselves, and create responsible lifestyles and relationships that serve their needs even though they do not fit anyone else’s rules.