Best Lover's Day Gift That Are Worth A Buy

Christmas is over and we have ushered into the New Year. What now.

14th of February next!

Valentine's Day, set by the good old Saint Valentine. Yes, we know, romance is a must for the occasion and that is what we shall be assisting you with! So, what is it that you are doing, in order to land upon a suitable gift for your lady love (or man love, for feminism is as important as equality)? This is that very special day of the 365 day year when love is in the air and ladies, and even gents, count down the days till they get a chance to open the awaited romantic gifts for which they have been long in anticipation. Now remember, the gifts that you exchange with your significant other on the occasion of Valentine Day do come to be of great importance! You can celebrate your love; convey your thoughts and feelings by sending gifts of Valentine's Day! Listed here you will get the best gifting ideas!

1) A massage gift certificate!

This can easily be purchased online. This is ideally the most thoughtful gift out there. Simply gift it to your beloved and let the recipient schedule the appointment as per their convenience. Seriously, massage therapy is so rejuvenating and relaxing! It can not only pamper your beloved but also give him / her the best Valentine's Day gifting experience! And you, will feel all the better.

2) An expensive and fancy dinner!

Apart from giving Valentine's Day gifts, it is not a bad option to gift fancy and expensive dinner to your beloved! Or, you could simply enjoy take away and light snacks from our Valentine's Day special titbits!

3) Colorful and aroma-rich flowers!

What speaks love better than beautiful and aromatic flowers. For it really is flowers which make for the best Valentine's Day gifts ! Flowers are one gift which has stood the test of time and are excellent gifting options for either gender. Play smart and choose the flower kind and color which suits your lover. You may consider the choice of the receiver. There are a wide range of exotic flowers available online and offline. Standard Valentine roses make for the best gifting option! Choose pink, red and yellow flowers to convey your love! Shop online and send!

4) Delicious chocolate bars!

You may have not known earlier, but chocolate bars can be personalized! If your love is a choice, you may send chocolate bars with an engraved love message or his / her initials on each piece of chocolate! Get them now!

5) A bottle of champagne!

If you want to thrill your lover with a beautiful and remarkable Valentine's Day gift, you can send in a bottle of bubbly and magnificent Champagne. You can easily find such gifts and chocolates at our store!

6) Personalized engraved gifts.

The perfectionists who are looking for the perfect Valentine's Day gifts to be sent to the beloved, they can settle for customized engraved gifts. For the celebration of love, you may send personalized gift items such as charm bracelets, compact mirrors, engraved glasses carrying your message of love!

Why Not Get a Nude Glamour Photography Shoot for Yourself?

Survey finds 9 out of 10 Women Take Naked Photos and why you should do a Nude Glamour Photography session.

Cosmopolitan.com conducted a survey of 850 readers, 99 percent female and 98% of women have admitted to taking or having taken naked photographs of themselves and 82% said that they would do it again so why do so many women like to have nude photographs of themselves.

There are many different reasons some girls are in a long distance relationship with their man and they say it helps it also gives them something to do to express their feelings for the other person. Some women have actually expressed that having feminism tendencies makes them feel not a sensuous sexy lady and use nude glamour photography to remind themselves that they are but what many women don’t realise is the empowerment a good nude glamour photography session can do for them personally take Sally, name changed Sally was in deep depression and feeling completely worthless and tried to commit suicide by cutting her wrists once her wounds had healed her friends dragged her a long for professional nude glamour photographer having a secret word to the photographer about her mood the session was organised, the shoot took approximately half a day and included some champagne there was a lot of fun, laughing and a good time was had once the nervousness of being naked was gone but what really affected the photographer yes that’s right the photographer was the positive impact it had on Sally she never saw herself in such a way it was as if Sally had never seen her beautiful sexy body before but through the eyes of the photographer she could see she was worth more than life itself Sally left the studio that day a different woman it also left the photographer a completely changed man.

Here are another 6 reasons you should have nude glamour photography session

1. Taking nude photographs is a hell of a lot of fun provided you have chosen the right professional photographer you will know that he cannot do a thing with your images without your written permission there is a little bit of a feeling of naughtiness or taboo when you’re getting a nude photo shoot done and that’s what makes it even more sexy and enjoyable and if your photographer is a straight male think of what you might be doing to him ha ha.

2. A photograph can make you look and feel super sexy it is something you can pull out of the drawer when you feel a little down and say yes baby that’s me

3. It’s empowering why is it society makes us feel naked bodies should be viewed with shame the fact is the female form is not only sexy to men but also women

4. Let’s face it, it’s flattering when somebody wants to see you naked or would you rather than say how disgusting that’s awful.

5. It’s a beautiful form of intimacy. Ninety nine per cent of the naked photographs I’ve taken in my life are for nobody’s eyes but my own.

6. Our fascination with ourselves (selfies), given our sex drives, given everything we know about people and the internet – shouldn’t a nude glamour photography shoot be the most obvious thing in the world? Not necessarily because we want people to see them. Not because we were thinking about the consequences of our actions. But mostly, because it’s fun.

Kate Chopin’s ‘The Awakening’: Role of Mademoiselle Reisz in Edna Pontellier’s Awakening

Mademoiselle Reisz is introduced to us as “…a disagreeable little woman, no longer young, who has quarrelled with almost everyone….” She is unmarried, childless, and has dedicated her life to her passion – music. The narrator also describes Mademoiselle Reisz as a homely woman who has absolutely no taste in dress. Some people even argued that she “always chose apartments up under the roof…to discourage the approach of beggars, paddlers and callers.” Secluded in her ever-changing attics, she attests to the likely socially-imposed seclusion of any nineteenth-century woman who dared challenge the tolerable pattern for female achievement. She is an unconventional woman and appears relatively insignificant as we begin reading the novel.

Though remote and reserved in her communication with the other guests on Grand Isle, Mademoiselle Reisz likes the heroine of the novel, Edna Pontellier and becomes the most persuasive individual in her awakening. Their very first meeting, when Mademoiselle Reisz plays piano for Edna, leaves Edna trembling and choking with tears. It was an experience which Edna had never had – not even when her dear friend Adle Ratignolle plays for her. “The very first chords…sent a keen tremor down Mrs Pontellier’s spinal column” and her agitated physical reaction to the piano-playing testifies the capacity of her looming self discovery. Although Mademoiselle Reisz is often called upon to entertain people at gatherings with her expert piano playing, she also goes on to testify that Edna is the only one of the guests who is truly touched and moved by the music. Edna’s reaction to Mademoiselle Reisz’ music mirrors the central theme of awakening in the novel.

As against Adle Ratignolle who lives a socially accepted lifestyle, Mademoiselle Reisz is a living example of an entirely self-sufficient woman, who is ruled by her art and her passions, rather than by the expectations of society. In a way, she is the representative of the feminist movement which began emerging in 1890s, yet was still overshadowed by the prevailing attitudes. Edna’s association with Adle suggests that she will give up her rebellion and return to her marriage – the standard that was expected at the time the novel was written. However, her association with Mademoiselle Reisz suggests that she will lose everything except her art and pride. In a way, both the author and her heroine will do something revolutionary and liberating for the women of the future.

Edna is seemingly caught between two influences: a strong desire for individuality and autonomy, as exemplified by Mademoiselle Reisz, and the societal conformity and comme il faut that she sees in Adle Ratignolle. She admires the figure of Madame Ratignolle, “Mrs Pontellier liked to sit and gaze at her fair companion as she might look upon a faultless Madonna”, yet the “musical strains, well rendered,” by the artistry of Mademoiselle Riesz’ piano playing, “had a way of evoking pictures in her mind”. These “pictures” are the “very passions themselves… aroused within her soul, swaying it, lashing it, as the waves daily beat upon her splendid body”.

From the very beginning, the text points towards the imperative relationship that Edna and Mademoiselle Reisz are going to experience. The story starts with the chatter of Madam Leburn’s parrot who speaks English, French, and a little Spanish. It also speaks a “language which nobody understood, unless it was the mocking-bird that hung on the other side of the door….” Confined and misunderstood, the parrot represents Edna who speaks a language that nobody – not even her husband, friends, or lovers – understands. It appears that what all Edna needs is a mocking-bird, someone who could comprehend her strange language. Mademoiselle Reisz becomes this mocking-bird for Edna – the melodious bird who instigates her freedom later in the novel. Like the mocking-bird, Mademoiselle Reisz is valued by society for her musical talent and Edna (like the parrot) for her physical appearance.

Their second meeting takes place when Mademoiselle Reisz seeks out Edna shortly after Robert’s departure to Mexico and strikes the right chord by echoing “the thought which was ever in Edna’s mind…the feeling which constantly possessed her.” She asks Edna, “Do you miss your friend greatly?” Mademoiselle Reisz is the only character in the novel who comprehends and encourages the love between Robert and Edna, and serves as a true confidante for them.

Mademoiselle Reisz’ exchange with Edna by the shore cultivates a connection that continues upon their return home to New Orleans. Edna seeks out Mademoiselle Reisz’ camaraderie when she begins to ardently pursue personal independence. Mademoiselle Reisz in turn warns Edna that an artist must be brave, possessing “a courageous soul… that dares and defies.” Seeing how happy Mademoiselle Reisz is as a non-married artist inspires Edna to be more self-sufficient and to pursue her desire to paint. This relates back to the meaning of the novel – a woman’s struggle for individuality while still being married. Mademoiselle Reisz recognises in Edna the same desire for escape and independence with which she has lived her own life. A woman who devotes her life entirely to her art, Mademoiselle serves as an inspiration and model to Edna, who continues her process of awakening and independence. While Edna finds herself feeling distanced from her former confidante Adle, she becomes increasingly close to Mademoiselle Reisz, whom she is beginning to resemble.

It is during their first meeting at New Orleans that Mademoiselle plays “Isolde’s Song” for Edna which foreshadows Edna’s final scene on the Grand Isle beach where a bird with a broken wing is sinking ominously through the air to its death in the water. The imagery of the bird follows when Mademoiselle Reisz warns Edna that “the bird that would soar above the level plain of tradition and prejudice must have strong wings”. Through her relationship with the pianist, Edna increases her awareness of herself as a woman capable of passionate art and passionate love. While the two capacities are interconnected, Mademoiselle Reisz serves to further each specifically. There was nothing which quieted the turmoil of Edna’s sense as a visit to Mademoiselle Reisz. She seems ”to reach Edna’s spirit and set it free”.

It is Mademoiselle Reisz who made Edna realise that she is not leaving her house because she has grown tired of looking after it and feels no real connection to it as her own but, because the smaller house will enable her to be independent and free. Instinct has prompted her to put away her husband’s bounty and never again to belong to another than herself. Further, it is with her help that Edna was able to admit her love for Robert and it is at her attic that she finally meets Robert when he comes back from Mexico.

However, torn between the two worlds – represented by Adle Ratignolle and Mademoiselle Reisz – Edna was not able to come to terms with her new reality. In words of Elaine Showalter, “Both the author and her heroine seem to be oscillating between two worlds, caught between contradictory definitions of femininity and creativity…” Chopin’s sense of need for independence and individuality in writing is dramatically expressed by Mademoiselle Reisz. Her voice in the novel seems to speak for the author’s view of art and the artist. In a way, along with helping in the heroine’s awakening Mademoiselle Reisz is also instrumental in the literary awakening of her creator – Kate Chopin.

Mademoiselle Reisz is the woman that Edna could have become, had she lived into her old age and remained independent of her husband and children. However, instead of running away somewhere and living alone, perhaps supporting herself as an artist in the manner of Mademoiselle Reisz, Edna is able to think only of her sons’ reputations and how they would be treated when she is gone. She was not willing to define her position in the world because to do so would involve surrendering the dream of total fulfilment. Thus while Mademoiselle Reisz could control, create and command her work, Edna was at the mercy of hers. She felt that she could only be free if she ends her life. She knew that once Lonce returned, he would still tell her what to do. She also knew that she could not leave her boys in Iberville forever. Edna could never have the true freedom she desired with her children and husband around. She also knew that Robert wanted her to be the traditional Creole wife, and is in no way different from Lonce. Edna realised this by herself, but she knew that she could not live that way, no matter how much she loved the man. Due to the talks with Reisz, Edna could see this on her own.

What Edna chooses for her identity is a combination of Adle Ratignolle and Mademoiselle Reisz – more honest in self-awareness than Adle more dependent on human relationships than Reisz. She is no longer Edna, possession of Lonce, mother of Raoul and tienne, toy of Arobin, invincible deity to Robert, but a newly born being who, tragically, wants to live according to its – not masculine or feminine – own impracticable wishes. Edna’s awakening has only brought with it a desire to break the confines of her life. Edna’s suicide is an awakening in itself. The symbolism of the bird offers a slightly different alternative: as a bird with a broken wing, Edna is a victim of fate and her society. Edna’s wings are not strong enough to overcome gravity; she is weighted down by the forces that society imposes upon her. Edna takes a chance and tries to escape from tradition. She is able to escape, but only in death, only by drowning down to the water. Given the choice between dying a quick death on her own terms versus the prospect of killing herself anew everyday, she chose a more merciful suicide.

Kate Chopin is often considered the first literary voice of the feminist movement, writing years before the beginning of the movement in the United States. In the time period in which Chopin wrote, “feminine” was the only description of women yet to exist. Indisputably, The Awakening is a clear break, a rebellion from the feminine view. Edna’s awakening is also the author’s awakening to the fact that her bold choice of female self-discovery and self-reliance will be an outrage in her society. As a woman, Chopin’s status as a writer was severely limited by the expectations of a powerfully bigoted public. When she shattered all expectations by producing a work that clearly transcended not only regionalism but also the established list of sentimental subjects thought suitable for women, the rumpus was extreme. In giving her work an open ending where suicide was just suggested, Chopin refuses to condemn Edna, which was another troubling factor for her contemporaries. Both Edna and her creator were “feminine”. Mademoiselle Reisz awakened them to the “feminist” way of thinking but, was not able to initiate them into the “female” world.

Choosing a Limousine Color to Suit Your Style

Different personalities have different taste in colors. When it comes to choosing a limo, a business man’s choice can rely more on a black limo and a bride can pick a white limo. Limos have become a necessity for every special event and the choice of color seems to be the top priority.

When you hire a limousine service, you can travel with style and comfort. Along with this, its interior is bounded by luxury, power and prestige. And just when you think the hassle is over with the selection of model of your limo, there jumps another one and this time it’s the color of the limo!

Business executives usually prefer black limos that indicate power and authority. Black represents strength, supremacy and brims impressive personalities. A shiny black limo is what corporate choose whereas white is considered to be a major symbol for wedding as it portraits purity and simplicity for the occasion.

However, there is a set of limousines beyond just black and white. For example, a pink limo symbolizes feminism. The sweet and sassy pink limos are the finest choice of girls for their birthday parties and fun trips.

As the demand for limo has taken an upward swing, the innovators of various limo companies have started to introduce different shades of fleet. Although there seems a heavy demand for black, white and pink limos, the priorities of a young group has always remained with bright classics like blue and green. These colors indicate a true party feeling to everyone. A bright blue or green limo fun-filled with disco bars and entertaining music can arrive with a chauffeur and lets you party like a Rockstar.

For special events like prom, most of the teenagers tend to choose the one that suits their dress and tux. It is believed to show their elegance and charm to their partner and to the party.

If you choose gold or silver limos for your special event, it reflects true elegance and royalty. This comes with high status and power. Nowadays limousine services have added all the new colors in their collection according to the demand of customers.

This is why limo manufacturers have been coming up with new colors for limousines that match with the event and trends. You can ask for the color you want or the event you are celebrating it. You not only pay only for the service, you also pay for the selection of colors too.

The Man – Truth of The Visual Being

The article What Turns Them On explained about how men are visual being towards a woman’s beauty. But don’t go off thinking that all men are shallow just yet. The also seek long-term quality’s in which good looks is not the #1 priority.

Here is a list of what men usually look for in the short term and long term partner:

A.At first sight

1.Good Looks 2.Shapely Body 3.Breasts 4.Butt

B.In the long term

1.Personality 2.Good looks 3.Brains 4.Humor

Now you can’t change the fact that men use visual cues to decide a possible mate. Feminists can complain about it all they want but feminists can also not change the weather.

One thing to notice is that the way a woman presents herself is more important then her having a sexy body. Remember Good Looks is ranked #1 in column A. This means that the way a woman dresses, wears her hair, presentation and grooming is more important then having a few pimples, a few extra pounds or small breasts.

Still in a long term relationship personality, humor, and intelligence is much more important then looking like one of the Hawaiian tropic girls. Good looks are ranked second in importance and you have complete control over that factor.

Good Looks in the loooooooong run

Because a woman stops taking care of her appearance a man will unknowingly think that she no longer cares or loves him. Remember men are visual beings and that man found something beautiful in that woman.

When a woman takes the time to care about her physical appearance the man thinks that she wants him to be attracted to her.

In divorce one of the biggest complaints by men is that their wives stop upkeeping their appearance. The men feel that the woman used her appearance like bait and then they no longer needed to take care of themselves after marriage. A man will wonder why a woman dresses up for her work but not for him. And for the woman she cannot comprehend why he would feel this way as she would love him no matter what he looks like.

By: Andre Leblanc

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Making The Best Impressions With A Lace Wedding Dress

Many people attend a wedding to see and celebrate the bride. As the groom and the wedding attendants watch her walk down the aisle, there is always a feeling of excitement building up, hence changing the mood of the day. Choosing the right dress is therefore very important to ensure that the bride makes the best impressions, and that she is confident to face everyone on her big day.

Lace wedding dresses bring out a sense of sophistication and class in every bride. They also define the personality of the bride, and are known to have timeless fashion. They have been used from the Victorian era and are still very classy in the modern times. The lace detail adds a touch of romance and feminism in a bride's outfit.

Lace dresses are not just meant for the bride, but they can also be used for the bride's maids and other guests. A carefully chosen lace dress can also be used for other occasions such as cocktails and parties.

Making Perfect Choice for a Lace wedding Dress

There are many considerations to make when choosing a lace wedding dress. These include the following.

– Color

The traditional color used for a bride's wedding dress is white. However, many brides are considering being different by using other colors such as pink, cream, red and purple. You may go for a wedding dress that has a white lace or use a combination of colors to bring out a unique look on your big day. Black lace wedding dresses are perfect the bride's maids.

– Length

Unlike in the past, many brides are going for short dresses. A lace detail on the short dress is perfect for the bride who wants to look complete and show their legs on the big occasion. Choosing high heel and glittery shoes for the short dress can bring about that romantic look on the bride. One can still go for a long lace wedding dress to articulate on the waist and the body shape.

– Availability

Fortunately, lace dresses are available in many online stores. However, a bride must be able to find the specific type of dress that fits her personality, shape and budgets. Considering different options available in some sites can help in this regard.

Whereas some women may consider buying a new dress, some women will want to still use the dresses that their mothers or grandmothers used on their wedding day. If that is your case, you may want to let the designers add the lace detail that brings in a sense of modernity and your personality.

Keeping Your Maiden Name

In my generation, it was a given that if you got married, you took on your husband's name. If Mary Jones married John Smith, Mary Jones dropped her maiden name and took on her husband's last name and Mary Jones became Mary Smith or Mrs. Mary Smith. Many of these women chose to omit their own name completely and took on the full name of their husband so that every legal document was signed Mrs. John Smith.

Then, for a long while, hyphenated names became popular. Mary Jones, after she was married, became Mary Jones-Smith letting the public know that she now had a husband. But, that was in the days when women didn't change husbands as often as they changed underwear. With the divorce rate being so high, hyphenated names can get confusing. If a woman has been married four or five times, she can end up with a name like Mary Jones-Smith-Forrester-Thompson-Kelly-Griffin.

There are many reasons that women want to keep their own last name and it has nothing to do with feminism. In many cases, it has more to do with the fact that women are getting married later in life and they have spent more years as a single woman than a married woman and they want to keep their identity. Or it could be less complicated for the children with several stepfathers when they register for school.

In other cases, women have gone into careers and have built up a reputation under their maiden name and it's too confusing to try to get the public to get accustomed to their new name. If an author has built up a solid reputation as Mary Jones, her readers will keep looking for her books under that name. It wouldn't occur to the average reader to look her up under any other name so they wouldn't be buying her newer books.

In the entertainment industry, Elizabeth Taylor remained Elizabeth Taylor no matter how many husbands she accumulated through the years. The men didn't become Richard Taylor or Eddie Taylor and she didn't become Elizabeth Burton or Elizabeth Fisher, and yet no one batted an eye, so why is it such an issue with couples who aren't in the entertainment industry?

Then, there's the matter of a credit history. If the woman has a great credit history and her husband does not, she could be denied credit based on her husband's bad credit.

For whatever reason, it seems as though more women are opting to keep their maiden name than ever before and, in time to come, it may become the accepted norm.

Reflections on Judith Butler's Philosophy

Judith Butler is a controversial philosopher making deep intrusions into feminist, gender and queer studies. Reading her I became submerged in sea of ​​incoherence. I would like to provide facets of her theory which I have understood and wanting to interpret.

The problem with Butler is that she is rather confused about gender identity and sex. She becomes a lesbian-centered feminist who wants to make toxic the existing norms of the society. Butler has borrowed the Philosophies of Hegel, Derrida, Foucault and many others to explicate her views. Her key ideas are gender performativity, parody and drag.

According to her race, gender and sex (orientation) are discourses which are a semantic and philosophical. She argues that we should subvert these identities and deconstruct them. She is not sure of the way to go about them. Let's take the idea of ​​a race. How can we deconstruct it? No matter what paradigms we adopt, the identity of a race cannot be negated. Some racial elements of culture have become universal. For example music like Jazz, Blues and Rap coming from Black culture have become universalized. After decolonization the concept of a race has no conceptual categories for deconstruction. For me a racial connotation would be, I have brown body, a black soul and a white mind. I take comfort in this kind of Butlerian subversion but that does not change my race as an Asian. Gender for Butler is a biological and cultural construct and that's problematic for Butler. Perhaps it is because of her own lesbian moorings. Gender remains a fixated identity irrespective of one's orientation. I would like to use the psychoanalyst Jung the anima and animus, the masculine elements of feminine psyche and the feminine elements of masculine psyche. In today's world of democratization of orientations, Butler's arguments of gender as a construct are rather flawed. Talking about sex, I would like to say that the aspect of the queer as an orientation is being democratically subverted to mainstream acceptance. I wonder why Butler regards it as a philosophical problem.

Butler has heavily borrowed from Hegel's dialectic. For Hegel's dialectic there is a thesis, antithesis and synthesis. For example the ill treatment of Germany during the second world war (a thesis), led to the rise of Hitler an (antithesis) and that ensued in the Holocaust (synthesis). Butler traces Hegel's dialectic to the formation of a subject. Here Butler uses the allegory of Hegel's Master and the Slave. The Master though superior to the slave is dependent on the slave for his actions. The Master and the slave share a reciprocal relationship. I would like to say that Hegel's allegory is misleading because it alienates the sense of the self. Yes, in psychology there are multiple states, the ID, EGO and the Super Ego. Lacan has said that the self is never a perfect entity and we become alienated when we enter the discourse of language. For Butler the idea of ​​sex, gender and race have an ontological position of becoming. The dialectical relationship of the Lord and the slave is a mutualism of being reciprocative.

Next I would like to comment on Butler's 'Gender Performativity'. Butler has given unusual connotations to Gender Performativity. Orientations in sex enter a dialogic relationship rather than being prone to a discourse. Butler has falsely assumed that there is a philosophical problem regarding orientations and sex. The concept of gender performativity is unique as it adumbrates conceptions of pleasure and Eros. The extent of perfomativity is subject to the phenomenology of individualized consciousness. There is no fault line to take Butler's specious argument forwards. Pleasure, orgasm and ecstasy become contents of consciousness which are sublime.
Another concept used by Butler is the drag. Butler assumes the performativity of masculine and feminine roles by both subjects of gender. I would like to ask Butler, what is the problem of a transvestite? Switching of gender roles has become a democratic norm of the society and it no way poses any hazards. The Drag Queen of Butler is a witch and wizard of sexual orientation. Butler also downplays the role of those with the orientation of straight sex. Sexual identities though being constructs are prone to variations in practice.

A closely related Butlerian concept is parody. This refers specially to enactment of masculine and feminine roles. Jung has brought this concept through the anima and the animus. The body and gender are brought into a dilemma of a conundrum by Butler. The feminine and the masculine roles keep changing. There is a catharsis of reciprocative sharing. In sex there is a doing and becoming. Parody as a conceptual apparatus is not a problem in philosophy.

The most puzzling of Butler's concept is that of a Lesbian Phallus. Here Butler has borrowed the concept from Lacan. The phallus is an empty signifier. The codes and conventions of a society have not developed from a Phallus. Lacan has exaggerated the term and it has resulted in it being a hyperbole. Why does Butler think that the society condemns lesbians? Women do not suffer from castration anxiety as they do not have a penis. The phallus is a semantic structure and authoritarian. Perhaps Butler meant that a lesbian phallus as a clitoris and it occupies a structure of being in democratic dialogism.

Flash Fiction: A U-Turn

Rains lashed onto my bare back as I scooped up her fragile frame and carried her out of the car. Perhaps, she’d passed out, couldn’t endure the pain she suffered.

Perhaps, she just pretended to be asleep. Never wanted to face the reality. Never wanted to see the man who left her alone in the dark of the night.

All alone, I didn’t know how long she waited for me.

Not bothering to look at her exposed thighs hidden scantily under my shirt, I made my way to the front door of the house.

She whined under the fur blanket as I cleaned the scars and bruises with warm water.

Signs of sufferings, a brutal assault. Someone had robbed my soul, assaulted the woman I loved the most.

Shame on me.

I couldn’t protect her.

Monsters hidden underneath human skin ran away when I reached the spot where I left her.

A casual argument.

I didn’t realize when it transformed into a battle of sexes. Rants of feminism and gender equality. She forced me to pull over.

I could have stopped her, could have apologized. But, I did nothing when she got out of the car.

Instead of waiting for her to cool down, I drove away. It was an hour later I realized my mistake and took a U-turn in haste.

She quivered inside the blanket. Her whimpers communicated the trauma she bore on her soul.

“I’m here baby,” I whispered in her ear, caressing the entangled mess of her hair.

She opened her eyes.

Tears slid down the corners of her eyes.

“I lost it. I struggled but I lost it. They were four.” Her words pierced needles in my ears, shredding my skin and exposing the bones underneath.

“Calm down sweetie. You need rest. Shall I get something for you? How about a cup of hot chocolate.”

“I need you. Promise me you’ll never leave me again even when I tell you to go away. Even when I fight with you. Promise me you’ll tackle my tantrums. Hold me in your arms when I’m angry. Kiss me when I cry.”

“I Promise sweetheart. Do I deserve an apology?” I asked my gaze dipping to the carpet.

She held my hands. “Have you informed the cops?”

“Not yet. Do you want to do it now or we can go tomorrow,” I replied meeting her gaze.

“Thanks,” she said, her eyes glistening.

“Thanks for what?”

“I thought you perhaps don’t want to involve the police because of your reputation of a clean guy. It could be hard for you at work. Your social life. Your friends. They will question.”

“Nothing’s more important than you. Life’s all about taking a U-turn and starting afresh. Please allow me to take that turn where I’m just a teenage boy who is deeply madly in love with a girl.”

She looked in my eyes as my grip tightened on her hand.

“I’ll get some hot chocolate for us,” I said holding back my tears.

Men don’t cry, do they?

The Politics of Hair

In 2008 the America tabloid In Touch published a story about Beyonce Knowles wig collection. In the story they estimated that Beyonce's wig collection was valued at in excess of $ 1 million. Five years later and she is probably the most famous singer in the world with a much larger collection of wigs, weaves and other fake appendages attached to her scalp, with a much bigger social impact. She is frequently lambasted by pop culture and sociological pundits for buying into the Barbie doll aesthetic and promoting an unreal image of black womanhood. She has been accused of lightening her skin tone, having rhinoplasty and overall changing her appearance from that of a beautiful black woman to that of a beautiful white woman. Above all though it is her hair that garners most attention. Google 'Beyonce hair' and of the 105,000,000 hits a large portion of them are debates on whether her hair is real, a wig, a weave and the politics that surrounds hair in black culture. The scion of pop culture may not identify solely as African American (she has more than once stated she has a multi-ethnic background – African American, Irish, French and Cherokee, but the impact of her hair choices resonate through debates on race, ethnicity and feminism.

Hair has never been just something on your head. It is chopped, braided, dyed, spiked, back combed, shaped, plucked, implanted and pretty much anything else you can think to do to it. In pre-transatlantic slave trade West African cultures hair was central to defining culture, status and identity, as it still is today all over the world. The absolute horror and personal annihilation that slave traders inflicted on their human chattel would not have been as effective if culture, status and identity were allowed to continue after people were kidnapped and shipped across the ocean. One of the principle means of dehumanising their victims involved shaving their hair in an effort to wipe out culture and identity. Over time the know-how and ability for personal hair grooming particular to people from West Africans was lost amongst the slave population. In addition slaves didn't have the hair care products that generally suited their hair type, such as palm oil, and had to rely on other easily attainable products such as bacon grease and wool combs for their hair care.

Hair and skin tone became further politicized when second and subsequent generations of slaves were born. Frequently they were the result of the slave masters raping slave girls and women. Genetics being genetics skin tone, facial features and hair texture clearly identified who was related to the slave owners. Frequently the children of slaves and slave masters were afforded better living conditions (such as living in better houses, better food and so on) and a better chance at making it through what was a harsh existence.

Overtime the politicization of hair had reached new heights. Emancipation didn't change much as the more similar one was to the dominant economic culture (white) the easier it was to get on in life. It is in fact estimated that hundreds of thousands of African Americans with light skin tones and straight hair passed themselves off as white and completely changed their identities in order to blend into white society.

The 'one drop rule', adopted into law in the 1920s deemed that anyone with even a bit of African heritage would be seen as legally black, and thus subjected to demeaning prejudice in their everyday lives, made 'passing' as white an attractive option for those who could. They didn't have to sit on designated seats on buses didn't have to use separate facilities, could get better jobs and weren't abused because of their race. It is hard to know exactly how many people crossed the 'race line' but various research projects into ethnicity have found that hundreds of thousands, if not millions of those who identify as white in America have some African ancestry. The same phenomenon has been observed South Africa and no doubt in any other country where one group was repressed to such an extent that it was easier to pretend to be someone else. Hair, skin tone and features became one of the main identifiers in a hierarchy of ethnicity that for better or worse that facilitated easier lives. It might not be as evident nowadays but it is still present and very much a social phenomenon.

The legacy of ethnic hierarchies permeates through American and pop culture to this day. Eurocentric models sell clothes and goods. The Barbie-doll aesthetic is pervasive in music and movies. No doubt Beyonce makes millions from her numerous advertising endorsements where she is styled to appeal to as wide an audience as possible. Having long lustrous blonde hair is central to this appeal and central to her bank account. She may define her ethnicity as multi-ethnic and thus it is not fair to label her as someone who rejects her heritage. However, her visual appearance, at least in her public life, would suggest that she identifies a lot more with one of her ethnic heritages more so than the others.

The Eurocentric media that has been pervasive in America is of course changing to accommodate the increasing diversity in American society. With more and more people identifying as multi-ethnic and celebrating their diversity advertisers and pop culture is beginning to represent this. But until the time when all hair types, skin tones and features are perceived as equally beautiful in pop culture the melting pot will be nothing more than an inadequate representation of a society still obsessed with race.

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