Why The Game Of Life Is A Good Game For Young Children

The Game Of Life is a popular game played in many households. There are a lot of scenarios and other specifics about the game that make it more complex than most board games. However, it is a wonderful board game for children to play because of the many things that it can teach children. This article will discuss a few of those things.

# 1: It Teaches Children The Concept Of Insurance

Anyone who has played Life knows that they eventually reach the point where they get to purchase a house. One of the important decisions that the player has to make is whether to purchase insurance. While the player has the decision not to purchase insurance, this can prove very detrimental if they land on a space in which their house or automobile becomes destroyed in some way. Since they did not purchase insurance, it ends up hurting them financially and can very much cost them the game.

Similar, children start to understand the importance of insurance and how crucial it is to have insurance because of the possibility that anything can happen. They learn that homeowner's insurance, medical insurance, along with other forms of insurance are important because they protect the family in case of unforeseen circumstances. Thus, this board game is a great way to get kids started on learning about insurance.

# 2: Children Also Start To Learn About Promissory Notes, Loans, And Stocks

As anyone who has played Life knows, you are allowed to purchase stocks, take out loans, and take out promissory notes. These are definitely good terms for young children to learn as they become very crucial in later life. For example, if a player decides to start college as opposed to go straight to work, they have to borrow $ 40,000 from the bank and pay it off over the course of the game.

Of course, the notes, loans, and stocks operate different in this game than in real life, but children are exposed to the terms and may develop a greater curiosity about them. They may decide to research these terms or ask their parents about them. This will help the child greatly in their later life.

How to Handle a Second Marriage and Step Children

Marriages can be challenging, and they can be even more challenging when children and an ex-spouse from a previous marriage are involved. Romantics enter into relationships with rose-colored glasses, hoping that the new beginnings will lead to happy endings and a fantastic in-between. Sometimes, people do not anticipate the lack of bonding between stepchildren and their step parents. When they do, they imagine that it is just a passing cloud that they will quickly overcome, but sometimes it does not happen as fast. All is not lost though; here are some tips on how to handle second marriages and stepchildren.

  1. Be flexible with your parenting style. If you find that your partners approach to parenting is a little different from what you are used to, you could compromise a little to accommodate their style. This is especially applicable if their method does not harm the overall behavior of the children. You also need to give both your kids and your stepchildren plenty of time to adjust to the changes they are going to experience as step-parents come on board.
  2. Give priority to your marriage. Just because your first marriage did not work out does not mean that the second marriage will fail as well. Put the guilt feelings behind you and work towards giving your new spouse the very best of you. And just because there are step children involved, it does not mean that the marriage should come second as you put all your efforts into trying to impress the children.
  3. Set boundaries, early and often. If you do not make it clear to your new spouse and stepchildren what you expect from them, they will never give it to you. The first most important thing is RESPECT, and it applies to your spouse, biological children, in-laws, and step kids. Sometimes you will feel like an outsider in your own home but respectfully make known what your expectations are; what you can tolerate and what you cannot.
  4. Do not take it personally when your stepchildren overreact and behave irritatingly in the early days of the union. Sometimes they are grappling with mixed emotions and are trying to cope with the blended family. When the kids compare you to their biological parent, try not to let it get on your nerves. Simply strive to keep the stress out of your marriage.
  5. Do not be a doormat. While trying to keep up with the sensitivity and ever-changing emotions of your stepchildren, do not be hesitant to speak up and talk about discipline. If you say nothing every time they act weird, resentment will build up and soon you might find yourself unable to fit in the family. Strive to be on the same page as your spouse in matters of discipline.
  6. Doing date nights is okay. It is up to you and your spouse to show the children that second marriages can be a match made in heaven. Date nights are part of a thriving marriage and do not let the guilt of having to leave them behind with a babysitter pull you back.
  7. Don't control your partner. Allow them to spend time with their kids without you in the picture. This will make the children see that you are not out to take away their biological parent and you have no insecurities. Their spending time together can include trips to the store, watching a movie together, or bedtime chats. Children can sense a lot from the way you let them relate to their parent.
  8. Never make your spouse choose sides. When you and your spouse disagree about something about your stepchildren, do not make them feel like they have to choose between you and their children. Avoid, at all costs, arguing with your spouse in front of the kids about a decision that has to be made concerning them. Putting your spouse in a situation where he feels like he or she is in the middle of you and his or her children is a step towards the failure of the marriage.
  9. Be fully prepared and know what you are agreeing to before saying "I do." A blended family may take more time and energy to establish. Seek advice from people in blended families and learn from them. Each marriage is unique, but some things are common to second marriages where step children and step parents are involved. Do not be discouraged by the horror stories you will hear because they can happen in a first marriage too. If you know what you will get from the union, and are ready to weather the storm, go ahead and make your second marriage a rewarding experience.
  10. Seek professional counsel if the rough patches are more than you can bear. Sometimes the hitches that come with a second marriage may not wear off as quickly as you expect them to. They may even intensify during holidays and family occasions like graduations and birthdays. Sometimes it may seem like you are in a rut, and feel like you are not good enough as a step parent. If you still feel that the marriage can work with some help, do not hesitate to involve the support of marriage counselors. They will work with you and try to help you find balance.

Second marriages can work, probably better, than a first marriage. If you apply these ten tips, you will increase your chances of having a happy, blended family that no one would even think is a second family. Be careful about the advice you take from various books, blogs, and people, because not everyone will be genuine about their need to see you happy in marriage. Most importantly, make your partner your best friend, and you will realize how much easier it will be to bond and create lasting friendships with your stepchildren.

Technology Lending a Helping Hand to Autistic Children

For children with autism spectrum disorder, mathematics problems become much easier if they involve images. Addition sums, for instance, could become clearer if both the equation and answer are accompanied by pictures that represent the mathematics taking place. Three toffees plus two toffees can be logically illustrated with five toffees. Representing every question with a visual example makes learning more accessible and concrete. And that’s exactly what the “Math on the Farm” app does.

The developer team of “Math on the Farm” app has first-hand experience of working with autistic children as therapists and special educators, and was thus inspired to do something for such kids. They have also come up with the “Just Match” app that teaches object sorting, number matching and other skills, using approaches that resonate with autistic children.

Special educators Karen Edwards and Patricia Graf have been teaching children with autism spectrum disorder for several years now. They have noticed a major disconnect among these children. Majority of the children’s families had iPad and tablets, but none had any suitable app that effectively taught the kids lessons they needed to learn. The percentage of children with autism spectrum disorder has increased in the two decades that Karen and Patricia have been in the field.

Patricia’s younger brother, in fact, was diagnosed with the disorder at the age of five and she knows how challenging it is to bring up an autistic child. Her family came from a small town in Ohio and didn’t have the resources to support the special education needs of her brother.

One in every 68 children today has autism spectrum disorder. The rate has increased more than 600% in the last two decades alone. Services and resources, however, have failed to keep pace with the growing numbers of autistic children. Lack of specialists for autistic children is creating a waiting time for both diagnosis and treatment from at least two months to one year. Even if a family having children with autism can avail the services, therapy could be highly unaffordable. Most of the recognized interventions are based on the 40-hours-per week of rigorous one-one-therapy.

For the developer team of “Math on the Farm” and “Just Match”, the numbers were simply unacceptable. They felt that access to the life-changing resources like apps for autistic children should be available and affordable. Families of autistic children should not hunt in the dark about appropriate technology. They are developing technology that incorporates the best autism strategies, increasing availability of the apps and reducing the cost.

Hearing Loss in Children – Ayurvedic Herbal Treatment

Hearing is essential for young children to learn speech, for their overall learning skills, playing, and developing social skills. In most developed countries, screening for hearing ability is done immediately some time after birth. Otherwise, parents are usually the first to notice hearing defects in young children. Hearing loss is of three types- conductive due to middle ear pathology; sensorineural due to dysfunction of the auditory nerve, outer sensory hair in the cochlea (inner ear) or auditory brain centre; and mixed type involving both conductive and sensorineural pathology.

Hearing loss in children can be present at birth itself and may result from congenital infections, toxic medications taken during pregnancy, birth complications, nervous system disorders, genetic diseases, or due to a strong family history. Acquired hearing deficiency after birth may be due to untreated middle ear infection, other infections, ototoxic medicines, exposure to sudden and excessive noise, and trauma. Treatment of hearing loss due to middle ear infections is usually with medicines, and in severe cases, with a grommet insertion. Mild to moderate sensorineural hearing loss is treated using a hearing aid, which can be fitted in children as young as 3 months of age. There is currently no medication for this in the modern system of medicine. Profound sensorineural hearing loss is treated with surgical cochlear implant.

Ayurvedic treatment can be very effectively utilised in successfully treating this condition For hearing loss due to middle ear infections, medicines are given which reduce allergy, inflammation, infection, and fluid buildup. After reduction in symptoms, further treatment is given to prevent frequency of re-occurrence. Unlike adults, children usually do not have permanent damage to middle ear structures such as ossification (stiffening) of the bones which connect the ear drum to the inner ear; results with treatment are therefore quite good and hearing is restored to normal in the majority of affected children.

For the sensorineural type, Ayurvedic treatment is given to provide nutrition, repair damage to the inner ear, and strengthen the auditory nerve and auditory brain centre. This treatment is quite safe for long term administration in children more than 6 months of age. Currently, modern medical science believes that outer sensory hair dysfunction in the cochlea is one of the most common causes for sensorineural hearing loss, and the hair – once damaged – cannot be repaired or regenerated. The exact mode of action of Ayurvedic medicines is currently not known; however, there is usually a hearing benefit of 15-25 percent with 4-6 months of regular treatment, which can be objectively confirmed with audio-metric tests. About 40-60 percent hearing benefit can be obtained with about 10-12 months of Ayurvedic treatment.

It is important to note that treated individuals – both adults and children – are exposed to the same environmental, occupational, and lifestyle aggravating factors for hearing loss, which normal people face. These include infections, toxic medications, toxicity due to pollution, stress, trauma, and exposure to sudden or prolonged, excessive sounds, and music. All individuals therefore need to take care to avoid or minimise the risk from such aggravating or risk factors to the maximum extent possible.

Games Apps for Children With Autism

According to the numbers released by the Centers for Disease Control (CDC), one out of every 68 children in the US, have been diagnosed with autism spectrum disorder. Various studies have revealed that a whopping 30% of these autistic children are unable to communicate their thoughts, wants and needs verbally.

If the CDC numbers are to be believed, more than 20,000 children will be born every year who will be diagnosed with autism and remain functionally non-verbal for the rest of their lives. But parents of such kids can take solace from the fact that games apps for children with autism, like "What's the Expression" and "All Sorts!" provide them an opportunity to have a voice and express themselves. Inability to properly communicate usually has a significant impact on the quality of life, access to education, and development of relationships and social skills. Frustration caused from the inability to communicate may lead to negative behavior challenges.

The "What's the Expression" and "All Sorts!" games apps for children with autism were developed from the basic desire to help kids who are unable to express their wants. Not only can children use these apps for face-to-face interactions, they can also use them to write, draw, and create. These games apps for children with autism can be used both at home and in school.

The advent of portable devices like tabs and smartphones has really changed much of autism education. Service providers can now deliver behavioral and educational services to autistic children in a far easier way. From iPads to touch screen devices, mobile computing has become cheaper, friendlier and universally available.

Various studies have claimed that as development of communication technology advances at an increasing rate every year, a child's awareness and competence to use the gadgets also increases. The level of competence, in most cases, overtakes that of their parents. The increased use of technology has an implication on both educational and communicational practices. Kids today are "native speakers" of technology. And this includes children with autism as well. Those on the autism spectrum find it much comfortable to interact with the help of games apps for children with autism. Such kids are often visual learners with strong skills in technology. That's a reason why they are more comfortable to use games apps for children with autism like "What's the Expression" and "All Sorts!"

Apps are really showing the way for education to autistic children.

Apps to the Help of Special Needs Children

Portable electronic devices like tabs and iPads are proving to be invaluable resources to impart communication and social skills to children having developmental disabilities like autism spectrum disorder or Asperger’s syndrome. Hundreds of specialized apps are available for download that can run on these devices. Apps like What’s the Expression and All Sorts! are helping special needs children pick up important skills.

The What’s the Expression app helps kids to express themselves in a better way. Children with autism spectrum disorder often can’t understand how to express themselves in various situations. This particular app was made to address the developmental issue. Special needs children have to learn how to express emotions like happiness, anger, surprise, sadness etc. The What’s the Expression helps them to do just that.

Sorting, on the other hand, is a basic skill which children usually pick up by observing their elders. But it could be a difficult exercise for those having autism spectrum disorder. All Sorts helps children to observe various concepts and objects in a single place and group them according to the commonness in their features.

The elusive cool factor of these two apps for autistic children can’t be overlooked. But it’s their versatility that’s particularly appealing to the parents of these kids. Katherine Fisher, a product reviewer and the mother of an autistic child herself, said that she tested several apps for autistic children and found these two the most appropriate. They delivered what they promised. Both What’s the Expression and All Sorts can cross over to the more general children-education apps, Katherine said, adding that these two apps are regularly updated.

There are various other useful apps that have been designed to help both adults and children affected with Down syndrome, Lou Gherig’s Disease, cerebral palsy and similar disabilities.

Children with autism spectrum disorder are showing major signs of improvement after playing with such fun-filled apps on their tabs and iPads. According to a recent study in Australia, corrective behavior was reinforced with the help of images and voiceover, on 10 autistic children who couldn’t wash their hands. Researchers claim that more than 60% of their objective was successful.

But nearly 70% of autistic children falter in motor skills, and that includes poor movement planning. These children may find it difficult to operate the small buttons of a tablet or smartphone. But the iPad, with its larger size, is usually more accessible to autistic children.

A major reason why portable devices like tabs and iPads have become particularly popular among parents, is the relatively lesser cost of these gadgets compared to the heavy, and expensive text-to-speech devices.

Take the case of 7-year old Rio, an autistic child. Before the iPad came into the market, Rio’s autism made him dependent on others for play, entertainment, communication, and learning. But with the iPad, Rio now electrifies the atmosphere with his newly-acquired independence and skills. Those who have known Rio, are amazed to see the boy’s transformation. He really rocks with his iPad and a set of apps for autistic children.

Why Children Love Dirt

It is a question that many parents have asked themselves: “Why does my child love playing with dirt?” One plain and simple answer may be: children love the way dirt smells and feels. Another down to earth answer could be: children play with dirt because as an element very close to the composition of their very own bodies, they are instinctively attracted to it.

Builds Immune System

Of course, one understandable concern when children play with dirt is health. However, studies show that children that play with dirt are not at higher risk of developing diseases, in comparison to those that don’t. Furthermore, it seems that children that play with dirt develop stronger immune systems and resistance to bacteria and viruses. An article published by The Wildlife Federation entitled, The Dirt on Dirt, explains that dirt and germs are actually good for children: “… all those things that make mothers reach for hand sanitizer and laundry detergent–may, in fact, be a grubby little prescription for health and happiness.” Of course we wouldn’t leave our children play with dirt in a doggy park, or in any other location that would present a hazard to the health of children via contaminated animal feces, toxic wastes, or any other pollutants. Yet, if we have access to a backyard or if there is a well-maintained park in our neighborhood, than allowing children to play with dirt is perfectly fine.

Therapeutic Benefits

Playing with dirt is very therapeutic, kin to the act of gardening. In fact, teaching gardening to young children can be a wonderful way to take their explorations with dirt to the next level. Both, boys and girls equally enjoy playing with dirt. We may have witnessed how much fun boys have picking up dirt and dumping it as they roam through dirt with bulldozers and dump trucks, or girls having a ball as they pretend-play to be mommies; cooking everything from mud pies, to cookie mush. This form of play is not only innocuous, but it lends itself to reciprocal socialization as children cooperate with peers in a non-competitive atmosphere.

Academic Benefits

There are endless possibilities when children play with dirt. Playing in open nature, can have an effect in the intellectual orientation of children, even opening the doors to future academic pursuits. Children’s present interest in the products of the earth can literally spill into interests in the fields of biology, ecology and conservation. A research study on environmental education shows how beneficial it is for children to learn about their world hands-on. In her abstract, Joanne Glenn (Glenn, J 2000) explains that children learn science by doing science. The results of her studies also show that children improve across several academic disciplines when taught in an environment-based classroom. Improvements were registered in reading and math scores, science and social studies.

The Journey Back to Nature

It may not be easy to encourage children who have never been exposed to nature to get dirty. Children nowadays are so connected to technology, that playing in the dirt may sound like a foreign concept to many of them, especially those living in urban areas. Richard Louv author of Last Child in the Woods (Louv 2005), explains this as a peculiar phenomenon, and have coined the term; Nature Deficit Disorder. He’s truly nostalgic of times past when children freely played in nature, and parents actually encouraged it. He believes children should be reconnected to nature, but feels that somehow society is conditioning our children to be fearful of it. He suggests using the principle of green urbanism, and weaving nature into classrooms to encourage what he calls: A No Child Left Indoors movement.

Remembering that it is only in the last three or four decades that we have turned our backs on mother nature as a source for solitude and enjoyment, can help us recover our dull senses. We must awaken to the proven fact that children need to play, roam through, and explore nature if they are to grow up to be caring individuals who are interested in the well-being of the planet and its resources.

Citations:

“Get the Dirt on Dirt.” N.p., n.d.Web.

Glenn, J. (2000,September1). Environmental-Based Education, Creating High Performance schools and Students. Retrieved May 29, 2015,

Louv, R (2005). Last child in the woods. Saving our children from nature-deficit disorder. Chapel Hill, NC: Alonquin Books of Chapel Hill.

10 Good Habits to Inculcate in Children

It is not possible to always be with your child and take care of him. The mentioned healthy habits for kids will make him competent to take care of himself all his life. Guide him step by step from his early childhood to practice these good habits for a healthy body and a happy mind.

The earlier you introduce importance of good habits in children, the better would be the benefits your munchkin enjoys. The good habits would not only keep them physically healthy, but also contribute to their sound mental health. However, don’t force these habits on them but discover fun ways of letting them know the perks of these habits. Your child would thank you years later when he would understand the value of these habits that you gifted them in their childhood.

Good Habits to inculcate in your children

Importance of breakfast

Encourage your child to have a wholesome breakfast as it would keep him energised throughout the day. A good breakfast is one of the biggest secrets for an active body. Include fresh fruits, eggs, milk, and cereals in your kid’s breakfast to keep him healthy.

Fixed time for meals

Keep a fixed time for all your meals. This will bring your entire family together, including kids on the dining table at a fixed time every day. It will not only improve your kid’s eating habits, but also strengthen your bond as a family. He will learn to cherish his moments with family forever. Isn’t that sweet?

Cleanliness

One of the common bad habits of children is poor oral hygiene. Teach your child to brush and floss twice a day. Washing hands before and after eating is also an essential health practice that your kid must follow. Make bathing fun with little games and bath toys in the initial years.

Sleeping routine

Sleep time should also be fixed like meal times. The biological clock is an important cue for us all, most importantly children. It will give her adequate sleep at night and enough time for her activities during the daytime.

Indulge in Physical Activities

Let your child discover the joys of being physically active. Introduce him to various sports and extra curricular activities like dancing, swimming, or gymnastics. A happy by product is a good appetite and sound sleep, which also contribute to a healthy lifestyle.

Restrict His Television, Video Games and Computer

Time You wouldn’t like a couch potato in your house, would you? Encourage your child to develop hobbies that keep her engaged without watching television or playing video games which in today’s world occupies a high rank in the list of bad habits for kids.

Develop Reading Skills

Read a book to your child every day till she learns to read by herself. Reading is one of the best habits that you can teach your kids. It would open a wide world of imagination that is necessary for good mental health.

Social Butterfly

Get your child to interact with new people. However, you would want to keep an eye on your child for his safety. Let him make friends and spend time with them. It would improve their communication skills and teach them to cooperate with other people.

Develop Problem-solving Skills

You love your child more than she will ever know. But it doesn’t mean that you have to assist her in everything she does. Let her develop self confidence by doing some things all by herself. Don’t pick her up every time she falls, or if she gets into an argument with another child. She will find out ways to come out of these situations before you know it.

Teach the right sharing etiquette

Inculcate the habit of sharing in your kids, but he doesn’t have to share everything. Tell him about things that are personal like handkerchiefs, toothbrushes, and combs – things that can spread infections.Remember, you are the mirror for your child. Participate wholeheartedly in teaching the above given good habits and habits for kids to your little tots. After all, you are the best teacher he can ever get.

Why Do Adult Children Lack Self-Acceptance?

Every child arrives in the world as a blank slate on which his parents or primary caregivers write. If they themselves are products of unresolved, unrecovered alcoholism, para-alcoholism, dysfunction, or abuse, and remain in denial about it, it is a distorted reflection of them that the child’s slate becomes. None of this breeds very much self-acceptance, especially if he fails to question the treatment to which he was subjected later-in-life.

It both begins and hinges upon their acceptance and love of him, and if they have not addressed their own issues, it may be infrequently demonstrated. Forced to see himself as his parents did, he may subconsciously engage in more self-rejecting than self-accepting.

One of the reasons for it, which may at first be viewed as a positive manifestation, is perfectionism.

“Perfectionism is a response to a shame-based and controlling home,” according to the “Adult Children of Alcoholics” textbook (World Service Organization, 2006, p. 36). “The child mistakenly believes that she can avoid being shamed if she is perfect in her thinking and acting. However, our experience shows that expectations are continually raised in these kinds of homes. Shame or the feeling that we have failed our parents seems to occur no matter what we do. During these moments, our critical inner voice begins to form. This is an early sign of internalizing our parents’ hypercritical attitudes. These are the seeds that lead to a lack of self-acceptance.”

It is thus inextricably tied to parent acceptance of the child’s performance, achievements, actions, and behavior.

Believing, without question, his parents’ own perfection, and not understanding why their acceptance of him may be lacking, he assumes the burden himself, concluding that he is inadequate, flawed, and unlovable as a creation, unable to entertain the thought that they function from their own deficiencies. Anticipating the danger and emotional overload such a thought would have by an intellectually, psychologically, and neurologically undeveloped child, he finds it more stabilizing to accept the blame himself than attribute it to them. Unable to care for himself, he relies on them for nurturing and his very survival.

Berating himself for these flaws, needless to say, does little to foster his self-acceptance later-in-life.

“Condemning my imperfections has never advanced my appreciation of life or helped me to love myself more,” advises Al-Anon’s “Courage to Change” text (Al-Anon Family Group Headquarters, Inc., 1992, p. 19). “Perhaps I can let go of all condemnation for this one day. I will recognize that I am on a spiritual path of self-improvement. Every tiny step I take on that path moves me closer to wholeness, health, and sanity.”

Yet that person’s childhood was a path that led in the opposite direction. An object, at times, of shame, blame, and out-and-out hatred, especially if his parents were fueled by alcohol, he could hardly have equated these actions with acceptance, much less love. As a human repository, he may have served as the target of their projections, which contained their own stored, unresolved episodes of abuse, and these were more than likely triggered by the presence of the child himself.

Doused to distorted saturation by the negative, highly-charged emotions his parents could not contain, he believed he was the embodiment of those horrible feelings, yet was unaware that they were feelings transferred to him. They did not originate with him. Drenched by them, and subjected to ever-mounting deluges of them throughout his upbringing, he more than bought into them. They were and are him, he concluded.

Emotionally overloaded and most likely negotiating life with varying degrees of mistrust, hypervigilance, continually retriggered traumas, and post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) he does not even understand, he can hardly get to the center of a negatively converted self, much less “accept” it.

Self-acceptance implies an acknowledgment, embracing, and loving of a person’s true or authentic self, which, created by God or a Higher Power of his understanding, is richly endowed and intrinsically euphoric. Its essence is love. But dangerous, damaging, and shaming upbringings characterized by instability and lack of safety forced the child to subconsciously reconfigure his brain and adopt so-called “survival traits” that include isolation, fear of parent-representing authority figures, approval-seeking, people-pleasing, overdeveloped senses of responsibility, denied and repressed childhood feelings and fears that were squelched o the point of numbed nonexistence, harsh self-judgment, low self-esteem, and the continual subjection of childhood-created, but unresolved triggers and reactions, all in an effort to function as an adult in the outside world with what he experienced as a child in the inside world. That “inside world,” of course, was his home-of-origin.

“… We realized that we lived by a set of survival traits known as the laundry list,” the “Adult Children of Alcoholics” textbook continues (op. cit., p.435). “This list describes a false self that can only accomplish self-hate and self-harm. There is no self-acceptance in the false self.”

The true self most likely remains buried in the protective cocoon the person was forced to create so that he could spiritually escape and seek refuge from an unstable or dangerous parent.

As long as its remains buried in its sanctuary, however, the person cannot connect with it, nor, indirectly, with others and his Higher Power, leaving him perpetually on the outside, looking in. Unable to accept himself, he is equally unable to accept others.

Progressively dissolving all of these sometimes very powerful and painful childhood-rooted manifestations, recovery, albeit at a slow pace, enables the person to identify and re-accept his authentic self-the one that is richly endowed and does not hinge upon others’ assessments or judgments of him.

“My friend and I resolve that in the future, we will try less, accept more, and let go of our impatience, self-criticism, and self-hatred,” “Courage to Change” concludes (op. cit., p. 7). “We take a deep breath and say, ‘Help me, Higher Power. Help me remember that the purpose of making mistakes is to prepare myself to make more; help me remember that when I’m no longer making mistakes, I’ll be out of this world’.”

What is most important here is that the person realizes that, in his imperfect, impermanent state, that it is inevitable that he will make mistakes, but that he is not the embodiment of a mistake his upbringing may have led him to believe.

Article Sources:

“Adult Children of Alcoholics.” Torrance, California: Adult Children of Alcoholics World Service Organization, 2006.

“Courage to Change.” Virginia Beach, Virginia: Al-Anon Family Group Headquarters, Inc., 1992.

Helping Children Develop an Intelligent Relationship With Food

A few weeks ago, as I was leaving my local Post Office, I passed a young mom and her little girl. The little girl, who looked to be about five, was whining about something. The mother said to her, "If you'll stop crying, I'll give you a cupcake when we get home."

On the surface of it, the mother's remark seemed innocuous enough. And maybe the remark had no connection at all to the fact that both the mom and the little girl were overweight. Still, I couldn't help but wonder: What was that mom inadvertently teaching her daughter?

Was she teaching her that sweets are a reward for good behavior? Was she teaching her that sweets are a way to assuage difficult emotions? If the child was learning either or both of these messages, she could be in for a lifetime struggle with issues around weight based on a dysfunctional relationship with food.

A new client recently came to my counseling practice about her compulsive overeating. She said she knew exactly how she acquired this behavior (and the girth that went with it). "When my brother and I were children, our parents told us that whoever cleaned their plate first could also eat from the sibling's plate." What message did she get about food? Maybe it was, "Eat all you can, as fast as you can, so you can eat some more."

How many children have been coaxed or coerced to eat more than they want, for reasons that have nothing to do with actually feeling hungry or feeling full? "You can't leave the table until you've eaten everything on your plate." "You have to eat because somewhere other children are starving." "Here, have some cookies and you'll feel better." "If you don't eat that, Aunt Jane will think you don't like her cooking." Messages like these endow food with illogical meanings.

I'm a life coach and counselor specializing in solution-oriented therapies for habits and stress management. I help clients contending with many types of habits, both behavioral and emotional, and, as you can probably surmise, I have an ample share of clients who struggle with overeating and obesity on a daily basis.

My work has afforded me the opportunity to interview hundreds of clients concerning their eating habits and thoughts about food. It comes as no surprise to me that many overweight individuals maintain a dysfunctional relationship with food, often due to beliefs about food that they developed in childhood.

To have an intelligent relationship with food is to regard food as a source of nutrition and energy. Therefore, hunger or a let down in energy or concentration are signals to eat. People who eat in response to such signals are attuned to their body's nutritional needs. They select their foods and size their portions accordingly and without much conscious effort. They eat when they feel hungry and stop when they feel full. They automatically balance their calorie intake and energy output to maintain a healthy weight. People who succeed at this are clearly in the minority in America.

People who maintain a dysfunctional relationship with food do not eat according to their body needs or in response to body signals. Instead, they turn to food to soothe troubling emotions- especially foods high in fat, sugar, and starch. They eat for comfort; not for nutritional value. They regard food as a reward for an accomplishment or for getting through a difficulty. Having lost touch with physical feelings that communicate hunger, they eat according to external cues – the time of day, seeing other people eat, the smell of food, an advertisement for food, or a magazine cover picturing a luscious dessert.

Because they are no longer in touch with body feelings that indicate satiety, they have no intuitive gauge as to appropriate portion size. They don't know when to stop eating, so they overeat, consuming excess calories that get stored as fat.

Such eating habits lead to obesity. These habits are resistant to change because they are associated with comfort, convenience, and relief from stress. They substitute for the hard work of self-awareness and self-discipline, confronting difficult emotions, and developing effective coping skills – the things many people go to therapy to learn.

Granted, there are other factors that contribute to obesity. One factor is a ready abundance of cheap, processed foods high in sugars, starches, and fillers, low in nutritional value. A sedentary lifestyle, genetic issues, certain medications, some illnesses, and poor sleep habits round out the list.

Nevertheless, with childhood obesity more prevalent than at any time in history, parents might consider the messages they give their children about food. Here are three things they would do well to teach, by word, deed, and example:

• Food is for nutrition and energy. Some foods are more nutritious than others.

Parents who teach this will make sure they provide an ample supply of nutritious foods for snacks and meals, exposing their children's palates to the tastes of fruits and vegetables, whole grains, and lean sources of protein when their children are young. Sugary and starchy foods should be a rare, special-occasion treat; not a daily staple.

• Eat when you feel hungry. Stop eating when you feel full.

Parents who teach this will give their children child-sized portions and avoid battles over food. If Suzy doesn't eat, she can leave the table. If she is hungry later, offer a nutritious snack.

• If you feel stressed, let's talk it over, consider some options, and find a viable solution.

It takes more time and effort to talk things over with an unhappy child than to appease him or her with a treat or a toy. Yet, age-appropriate problem-solving is a skill worth teaching.

Finally, if you have a tendency to overeat, because you eat according to external cues in your immediate environment, or to soothe difficult emotions, or to reward yourself, or because you don't know when to stop eating, then perhaps it's time to examine your own beliefs about food and its meanings. You might want to rethink and replace any unintended messages you received about food when you were young. You might then cultivate an intelligent relationship with food.

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