Have you ever trusted anyone with your whole heart? Have you ever really asked yourself that question. Trust is one of those things we don’t think about all the time (until we get it stomped on!) But in your wedding, you are saying to your partner, “I offer you my open and trusting heart. And I will be trustworthy to you.”

When you’re marrying, it’s good to stop and marvel at the wonder of having someone you will trust absolutely. Someone you’ve chosen. If we’re lucky, we had parents and families we could trust. Many did not. But now, as grown ups, we’re saying trust is possible. And we’ve chosen someone to whom we can entrust our whole heart.

So, it’s probably not a bad idea as you sit down to make your wedding vows to assess your trust factor. Have you always been trustworthy? If not why not? If not, what are you doing to make yourself trustworthy? Just wishin’ and hopin’ doesn’t necessarily make it so. (She says again, don’t rule out a counselor’s support.) Do you have trust issues from relationships in the past? How are you going to let go of your guardedness? Marriage really is something you enter into with a whole heart or it doesn’t work very well. People we love don’t do well with constant suspicion about their character. Our beloveds will screw up, but we have to be able to assess their intention and our confidence.

And then, your beloved is promising you that he or she will be trustworthy as well. Here you are a partner you can trust to have your back, to sing your praises, to love you, even during those times you’re less lovable than normal. A partner who wants to be married to you for the rest of your life.

That’s magic. But magic is hard work. Build great vows. Create a wedding ceremony around those great vows and around your community’s support of your promises and your marriage. And then, take the great leap and become trustworthy partners in the life-long marriage of your dreams. What an amazing concept! And you can do it!