Some times relationships just are not going to work out, in fact statistically the first or even the second relationship is prone to dissolve. Most people get into relationships in their early to late teens and thus, as they grow older they grow and become different individuals. They are in a position of learning how to be a mate and who they really are, so there is a greater chance of first relationships breaking up than say the second or third relationship.

Just because this is your first relationship doesn’t automatically mean your doomed to break up. On the contrary many people marry their high school sweetheart and live happily ever after. However when your young and on your first or second relationship things can get out of hand quickly. The relationship may end over trivial complaints thrown up in the heat of the moment. Some people breakup because of the things their friends say about their mate. I knew a couple who divorced because the wife was ashamed that her husband was a welder on an assembly line.

(whoops dated myself, that was back when America actually produced products)

No matter what the reason of the breakup you have a good chance of getting back together even if your the only one working for reconciliation, it isn’t simple but it can be easy. There are folks who study such human behaviors an they have discovered a few “tricks” that you can employ to get your ex back.

Think about how your relationship ended, what was the problem that caused the breakup? Figure it out, if this issue continues, even if you do get back together you will probably split up again if you cannot grow from this time apart. If you get together and then split again over the same problem you will have a harder time reconciling, so see what the problem is. See if you can change how you acted or responded to the problem that arose so that you can deal with it.

Now take a look at yourself, unfortunately, as humans we tend to let ourselves go a bit after we have “caught” our mate and that can have detrimental effect. Have you gained 45 pounds and gotten in the habit of drinking beer and watching t.v. every night instead of doing the kinds of things you did when you were trying to win your mates affections? Do you need to get your act together?

I bet if you stay single long enough you’ll gravitate towards doing those things to your appearance that are necessary to attract a mate. Make sure you do that for your ex first, and quickly. The more time that goes by beyond three months the harder it will be for you to get your ex back. The reason I say this is for the first two or three months there is a very high percentage of people who begin to look back at what they left behind and want to come home again, or if you like they want to get back that love they left behind.

Gracious, who wants to be out there in the meat markets when they had someone who loved them and they could maybe get back together with? Make sure your ex sees that you have really started taking care of yourself again so that when they have a feeling of nostalgia they think about how great you looked that last time they saw you.

Now help your ex remember how great you are by having mutual friends mention you within ear-shot of your ex. Your plans for the summer, how good your looking or how you just received that promotion. See if you can get mutual friends that are in your corner to keep you in the conversational loop that they have when they are around your ex. Just like a major corporation, keep putting your brand in front of your ex in ways that are clever and not blatant and definitely not stocking, texting or calling them.

When your ex hears your moving on in life and getting it together without him/her they will naturally focus their thoughts on you. They are saying to themselves “what am I missing” They could regret that they are not sharing those things with you, particularly in light of what is going on in their lives. You have it all over anybody new because you know you ex and he/she remembers you. They remember the good times.

All the bad things, bad times, the mind wants to forget and that is natural to humans. We remember the good stuff, you just need to arrange it so that your ex gets a memory jog occasionally.

You can go “pro-active” on this point by being in places that you know your ex is likely to be. Go ahead and get coffee at the same old coffee shop, take your friend to dinner where you know your ex likes to hang out, that sort of thing.

Now I know that the last thing you want to do is visit all the places you used to go together, it’s painful, I understand, I’ve been there and if this strategy is too painful for you don’t do it, there are other ways. If you can handle it though there may be parties thrown by mutual friends, sporting events, bowling teams any activity or social event where your ex will be, you get the idea. Make it casual though don’t drive on hour out of your way and be sitting out side his place of employment, that would be bad. Just be subtle, low key and casual about “bumping into” your ex.

Remember when you first met and how things progressed in your relationship, see if you can recreate similar conditions. Be positive and happy when you see your ex and don’t show any signs of desperation, or neediness. You have to be aloof casual, and uninterested in your ex except in the lightest most causal way. They will eventually want to get together with you just to “talk”. It may take time and it will be painful and at some point you may decide that they are not worth it, in which case you have gotten to the point you are ready to move on.