The inevitable truth of gaining grandparents custody rights is there will have to be new rules of discipline. Some grandparents may worry that setting rules may distance them from their grandchildren but this is not true. Though they may get upset when you become the enforcer, they know deep that if you care deeply about them you will make them mind. The parameters you set and enforce will make your grandchild feel loved and secure. I can remember as a child myself watching other children as they often got to do things I didn’t and deep down knowing the reason I did not was because my granny and papaw did not want me to get hurt. I was not raised by my grandparents but lived right next door and they played a big part in my raising and discipline.
Truth is that as a grandparent it is not easy introducing rules after they have been so relaxed at your house but you will not be doing the child any favors by not setting rules now that they will be living with you full time. Not setting rules because of the unpleasantness will only prolong out the inevitable. Breaking the rules and pushing the limits is a part of growing up. ( I did it didn’t you?) You can’t just be your grandchild’s friend if indeed you are now their parent to. Your primary role now will be in seeing to it that your grandchild is provided will a loving,caring parent-grandparent atmosphere. Mixing the two roles may not be a pleasant thing at first but everyone should adjust rather quickly. It is in the best interest of the child if you want them to grow up and function properly in society because there are always rules to go by even outside of the home.
Communicating with your grandchildren will be the best start of teaching them the new rules. Explain to them why the rules have changed and why they have to. listening and communicating with them is the key. Your grandchild’s feelings should be taken into consideration and their opinions addressed on the issues even if the answer is no to changing the rules they may see is unfair. Sit down and listen to them and explain these new
rules.
Discipline must consistent or it will only be confusing to your grandchildren. Older children may have a little harder time with the changing of the rules they are. Being inconsistent will give them mixed signals as to what is expected of them. Children who have been displaced outside of the normal parent/child relationship may come to you with behavioral problems already so be patient.
These children may not have had very good role models to follow so set good example yourself. Children tend to model themselves after what they see and you could be who they are learning from
