I sometimes hear from couples who have already had one baby and who are now trying to get the opposite gender when they are trying to become pregnant a second time. And, some will take the gender of their first baby as an indication of the health of the father’s sperm. Many believe that his producing either a boy or girl means that his sperm is either weak or strong.

I might hear a comment like: “we had a girl the first time that we have conceived. We love our daughter so much. But we are only going to have two children, ideally. So this time around, we’d like a boy. I have heard that having a girl means that the man’s sperm is strong. Does this mean that we will have a hard time conceiving a girl now?”

Anther comment might be something like: “we had a boy baby last time. I really don’t want to go through my life not having a daughter. I am desperate to conceive a daughter this time. I’ve heard that having a boy means my husband’s sperm is weak. Neither of us are that young anymore. Does this mean that we will have problems conceiving?”

I will try to answer these concerns as best as I can. But I have to tell you that I am not a doctor. What I have learned was the result of my own desire to choose my own baby’s gender. If there are specific concerns, I’d suggest seeing a specialist. However, having one gender over another isn’t thought to mean that the father’s sperm is weak or strong. If he has successfully conceived a child that resulted in a pregnancy, then this is a good indication that his sperm is sufficient to do this again.

The misconceptions of “weak” or “strong” sperm as it relates to baby gender is the result of what we know about how the different sperm chromosomes behave during the conception process. The girl sperm lives for a longer period of time, although it is slower. So, people often refer to sperm chromosomes that produce a girl as being more hardy or “strong.” The boy producing sperm move faster, but they die off more quickly. They do not have the same longevity as the girl producing sperm. That is why you sometimes hear them referred to as “weak” which I suppose is a bit misleading. Countless couples have boys over and over again, proving that their “weak” sperm was good enough for a conception.

I hope this article has shown you that having a certain gender doesn’t mean that your husband or the father has weak or strong sperm. Most men have equal numbers of both girl and boy producing sperm. And frankly there are a variety of variables that can influence your baby’s gender including when you attempt to conceive in terms of ovulation, the woman’s vaginal PH, and the sexual positions used.

Because you can’t know which of these variables, if any, influenced your baby’s gender, and because you already have a successful pregnancy, I believe it’s a mistake to think of the sperm as too weak or too strong.