How comfortable are you with expressing your feelings to your man? Does he sometimes judge you for being too emotional and shuts down?
Men yearn to melt, to experience the feeling world through us. Men are drawn to us because we give them a chance to know themselves and open their hearts. To fully open he needs to feel safe, nurtured and excited in a relationship. Polarity between masculine and feminine energy is the most important factor in maintaining excitement in a relationship. What makes us different from men? Our feminine loving hearts and a huge spectrum of our feelings.
The secret here is not to have an agenda when talking about your feelings- don’t try to change him or affect him in some way. And definitely don’t try to blame him for what he’s done. It’s more about going inside and expressing what’s true for you, saying what you feel as if you are talking to yourself.
For example, if you feel angry and hurt that he came late and didn’t take you out for dinner as promised, don’t start blaming him and making big statements such as ‘you are always late, you never care about me, you never loved me’. This drives a man nuts, he feels like he totally failed and can’t really change anything now. He takes your words literally and thinks that your whole relationship was a waste of time and there was nothing good for you in it. Statements like these devastate a man and make him feel weak or angry. He might withdraw and it will only hurt your relationship.
Instead, assume that he had a good reason to be late, whatever it is. Assume that he always has a good intention, maybe he was working late trying to earn more money for you and in his view taking care of you, maybe he really needed to be with his friends to renew his energy and be a strong man for you. But you have all the right to feel hurt, don’t suppress it. Tell him ‘I was so hoping to go out with you, I missed you and now I feel hurt and angry.’ Because if you didn’t miss him you wouldn’t feel hurt. And say this more to yourself, as a statement of your feelings to yourself, without blaming him. This is just how things are. If he becomes defensive and asks ‘What do you want me to do with this?’ just say ‘I don’t know, that’s how I feel’. If you are truly just expressing your feelings without putting any blame on him, he won’t be able to resist and come hugging you.
I know this requires a lot of courage to be so vulnerable, but this is the way to relax into your feminine power and become very attractive to your man. I assure you, this is not a weakness, this is your feminine power. And anyway, did the old blaming way work?
Just imagine how wonderful it would feel to be with a man who cherishes and adores you, who gives you his whole heart and doesn’t withhold his love from you. And the wonderful thing is, all you need to do is relax and open up to him by fully expressing your feelings, without trying to impress or manipulate him. When you own your feelings and are able to express them without getting into drama or trying to achieve something, your man will start to feel safe to express his own feelings and open up to you. Once he is open, he’ll take you deep inside himself and will be very unwilling to let you go.
