Many wise people have said that “change is the only constant.” To be sure, it is the one of only three things that we can count on in this life (death and taxes being the other two). However, what is really important in my opinion is how we deal with change, which says volumes about us. Like many things in life, dealing with change is something of an art form. The sooner we throw ourselves 100% into the change, the more adept we get at life itself. Here are some suggestions to help you cope with the change in your life.
1. Be honest and admit that you have probably wanted something to change.
For me, a key tenet in becoming your best self and living your best life is to accept responsibility for everything in your life. That means that you must be honest and admit that, for whatever reason, you wanted the change you are now dealing with. Of course, while most of us are wishing for change, we focus on just one dimension to the exclusion of others. For example, we might wish our boss was gone without taking into consideration exactly what a shakeup in management might mean to us and our jobs.
When we ask for change, we always assume that the change we want is in our own best interest. The thing is, it always IS in our own best interest, even if we can’t see it today. Just being mindful of that fact allows accepting responsibility for everything that happens in our life a whole lost easier, and once we do that, it is so much easier to feel solid, grounded and empowered. We are not the ‘tumbling tumbleweeds’ of song, but the might oak with strong roots.
2. Take a survey of past change in your life with the benefit of hindsight.
Make a list with three columns. In column A, write down all the major change or upheavals you’ve experienced in your life. In column B, write down all your feelings when in the midst of each of those changes. In column C, however, be honest and ask yourself what good came out of that change. Not just the immediate impact, which was probably frightening or negative in some other way. For Column C, you want to really reflect on exactly what part of you that you are proud of came out of that experience. If you are really brave, create a fourth Column (Column D) and be brutally honest about whether or not you would really have stopped that change if you could.
As you review the survey you’ve just completed, I think you may be surprised to recognize just how often the change you dreaded ended up being a positive factor in your life, one that you would repeat if you had the chance.
3. From the list above, also recognize that, in fact, you are a tough old bird
and you have already lived through a lot of change. Just like all those times before, you can come out of the other side of it and be labelled a veteran survivor, which you already are. There is no change you haven’t dealt with and gone on with your life.
4. In the immortal words of Nike, just do it!
In my life, there is much change I have wanted to stop but major change happens to us whether we want it or not. At some point, it is helpful if you can just take a deep breath and decide to “go with the flow”. The more deeply you breathe and the more frequently you breathe, the more you are empowered to accept change, and the more you are able to see the positive in it. Often, even when we’ve been begging for change, we go into resistance mode when it actually starts happening, thereby getting in the way of our own requested change. Fear is a natural response, but it does not have to dictate our life. Acknowledge that change is scary and keep those feet moving!
