People are always calling us and saying “I’ve been to treatment and it didn’t work. Will your program work?”
You can actually answer that question yourself by answering a fundamental question: What type of a person are you?
Basically, we see three types of clients, each of whom approaches treatment in one of the following ways:
o “I only sort of want help, and I want you to do all of the work. So I’ll say I want help, but don’t expect me to do much of anything.”
o “I really don’t want help – I just want you to get someone (spouse, kids, parents, judge, employer, etc.) off my case. So I am going to sabotage whatever you try to do while I continue to insist that I really do want help. Good luck.”
o “I really do want help, so what is it you need from me so I can work with you to get me moving forward and leaving alcohol abuse behind?”
We don’t think there is any mystery as to who is most apt to make progress, regardless of the “program” they try. One obvious clue is in the question itself: “… their treatment didn’t work. Will yours?” We’re sorry, but we don’t have a magic wand, silver bullet, or miracle cure, nor does anyone else. Mostly it will come down to you and how much you are willing to invest in yourself, how motivated you are, and how well the type of treatment you select matches your needs and preferences.
“Why go to treatment at all?” you ask. If you are in either of the first two categories, don’t. There isn’t any point in going to treatment and it’ll just be a waste of time and money, even if you do manage to placate someone else for awhile.
But if you do want to improve your life, the right treatment program will save you a lot of wasted time and effort while introducing you to options you probably didn’t realize you had. Good treatment is also about giving you permission to live your life, not someone else’s.
“What’s the right program?” It still depends on you. If you want to maintain alcohol as the primary focus in your life, and if you want other people telling you what to do and how to live, then you’ll want one of the traditional AA/12 Step based programs. They’re easy to find, since about 97% of all programs fall into this category.
On the other hand, if you want to leave alcohol behind as a focus, or moderate your drinking, or prefer to be in charge of your own life, then you’ll want to select one of the few possibilities that that will work with you as a person, not as an “alcoholic.” These programs will help you refocus your life, expand your interests, coping skills, and perspectives. The best ones will be individually tailored to you.
“Will this program work?” It will if you want it too, and if you select one that matches your needs and perspective, and if you are willing to participate in your own recovery. If you aren’t, no program, no matter how much you pay, or how much they pampered you, will change anything for more than the duration of your stay. No one can root alcoholism out of your life for you any more than the best personal trainer can lose weight for you.
If you are serious about overcoming your alcohol problems, hire the best help you can get, just like you do with your physician, trainer or coach. Listen, learn, question, and take charge of the changes you are making. Your life really can become your own personal renovation project, and the end product can be even more rewarding than any This Old House transformation.
