I was visiting my friend Mitch the other day – he is one of the owners of Vision Tech Computers here in Fort Wayne – and we had a little chat. Mitch told me sometimes his customers (sometimes friends and relatives) would call him even after 11pm to ask him about a computer challenge and now, he has to turn off the phone after 11pm on most days. Unfortunately he does not get paid for advice that he provides.

My grandfather, a successful entrepreneur, used to say “The people who regularly provide or receive advice without getting compensated are both fools.”

I believe he was not against helping people or sharing information when necessary, because all his life he was involved in charity work pretty much every day. I believe he was talking about the “I would like to pick your brain for free” people and folks who do not value others’ time because their own time is not worth that much.

Not just Mitch but even I fall into this trap because most of us like the high we get from helping someone or sharing something we just discovered – especially in technology. In other cases we just don’t like to say “NO” to someone we know well.

What we don’t realize is the missed billable time not serving paying customers or the advice we give is not valued besides all the received compliments. Something that I also notice is in most cases the people who would receive free business advice don’t do anything with it because they know “what they paid” for it.

The bottom line is “what is not measured is not treasured.”

InfoGuru2K6 © 2006

Most homes now own a computer or a laptop, and they are constantly improving as new technology is discovered. A life without computers is, quite frankly, unimaginable.

We're going to have a look now at some of the most popular uses for home computers. No doubt you will use yours for some if these.

Playing games online is the one thing that people love to do more than any other on their computers. You don't need an internet connection, it's very easy to buy games and install them.

Some have become so addicted to gaming that it has taken over their lives to such an extent they become hermits and play all day, every day. These are the kind of games that involve playing with like minded people all over the globe.

A few years ago nobody had heard of MySpace or Facebook, these social networking sites have become bigger than their creators could ever imagine. There is nothing you can't do on here, the applications put you in touch with people around the world and many romances have started on these sites.

Many of us have music playing on out computers while we are doing other things, such as chatting on Facebook. The online music industry is booming and accounts for a huge chunk of the sales recorded in the music chart.

The business world and the internet integrate so seamlessly that you can't see the join. This is simply the biggest marketing medium in the world, bar none. You can advertise your services as well as sell goods, and the various online payment methods such as PayPal make it even easier.

We all love to chat, and the internet has many ways to do this. There are chat facilities on the social networking sites, instant messaging servers, and, of course, emails.

When it comes to quotable endeavors rock and roll is not very high up on the list but oddly, a rock and roll movie, 1984’s This Is Spinal Tap, is very much quoted. Probably the most quoted line is from a scene where Spinal Tap lead guitarist Nigel Tufnel (Christopher Guest) demonstrates to documentary film director Marty DeBergi (Rob Riener) how much more powerful his amplifier is than that of other bands. The volume control of amplifiers range from a setting of 0 to a high of ten but Nigel’s custom amp has volume knobs that go to eleven. “These go to eleven “has been quoted many times by musicians over the years and not just to brag about how loud they can get but for a wide assortment of things and activities where more is best.

When Spinal Tap manager Ian Faith (Tony Hendra) lobs a derogatory sexual term at a hotel clerk (Paul Benedict), he calmly responds, “I’m just the way God made me,” invoking the nature verses nurture argument. One of my personal favorites occurs when the band runs into an acquaintance played by Howard Hesseman in the lobby of the same hotel and are told, “we’d love to stand around and chat, but we’ve gotta sit down in the lobby and wait for the limo.” In other words, I’d rather do nothing and wait then continue to speak with you guys. This line clearly demonstrates the brotherhood among professional musicians. When told by their record label their choice of album cover art was rejected due to its inappropriateness, Nigel and band mate David St, Hubbins (Michael McKean) reflect on the observation that “it’s such a fine line between stupid and clever.”

When I was in high school Columbia Studios shot a low budget motion picture at my school that had the shooting title; The Young Graduates. Several of my friends and I appear as extras in the film playing high school students, as I am a Method actor. One of the stars of the film was a young Bruno Kirby who appears in This Is Spinal Tap as their rudly ignored limo driver. He takes their lack of interest in his personal hero, Frank Sinatra, in stride and explains to Marty DiBergi, ” When you’ve loved and lost the way Frank has, then you know what life’s about.” Indeed.

One of the final notable quotes in the movie and one of the greatest rock and roll quotes of all time is drummer Mick Shrimpton’s (R.J. Parnell) brutally honest confession; “As long as there is, you know, sex and drugs, I can do without the rock and roll.” This is especially poignant if you’re a rock musician as a great many of the drummers you’ll meet invariable will tell you they’re really into playing Jazz. Sex and drugs are fine but if that’s all I wanted and didn’t care about music, I’d just become a pimp.

Silence Day

I arrived in Bali on the eve of the Hindu New Year in the Balinese Saka calendar.

"You know tomorrow is Silence Day, yes?" The friendly customs officer informs me. I tell him I am a regular visitor to Bali, but this is my first time during the sacred holiday. It makes an impression.

I am greeted by Suta, driver from Vision Villas. He hands me an ice-cold bottle of Aqua and we set off to manoeuvre through the many colorful parades that are spread out along the road as the Hindus celebrate on the evening before their day of silence.

In Indonesia they celebrate their New Year through purification and sacrifice. On New Year's Eve, the villages and homes are cleaned, food is cooked for two days and in the evening people make lots of noise to scare away the devils.

The Ogoh-Ogoh

Suta tells me there is a great lot of activity and exorcism island-wide. The devotees in traditional Balinese costume go to puras to worship and collect holy water. They also carry and burn the ogoh-ogoh, a giant papier-mache statue representing evil spirits. The next day will be the day of total peace and quiet, where everything stops for a day. They do not leave their homes, cook or engage in any activity. Streets are deserted, the airport is closed and tourists are not allowed to leave hotel complexes. He then laughs and says, "It is only one day at least, for the sake of environment. The air will be clean tomorrow."

He is absolutely right. There is always a logical explanation behind the ancient wisdom.

Vision Villas is located in Medahan, not too far from the artisan villages of Gianyar. It is set in breathtaking surroundings, amidst nature at its best, in rural Bali. It is a personal enrichment resort. I am intrigued.

Pure Balinese Elegance Komang, the very efficient and friendly receptionist, welcomes me with a refreshing lemon drink and after I have registered, asks me for my dinner order. It is late, but she says the kitchen is open. "Would you like your food on your verandah?"

What could sound better?

She takes me through a well-manicured lush garden, the candles illuminate our path, we walk towards the pool, up a few steps to Ganesha room.

The four-poster bed with its silk cushions and a most comfortable bed with fluffy pillows sit in the middle of the room. There are beautiful artworks along with a Ganesha statue in the wooden display case which also cleverly hides the stocked up mini fridge. The arrangement with the welcome fruit basket is a work of art in itself and my favorite flower, the frangipani, is everywhere. The gorgeous bathroom, with its flower arrangement that sits inside a fresh young coconut, is exquisite and there is a statue of a graceful lady hiding the nozzle in the outdoor shower. Pure Balinese elegance coupled with meticulous attention to detail in this five-star luxury boutique resort, in the midst of rice and vegetable fields is astounding. Wireless Internet throughout the resort. Heaven!

Pure Thoughts

I have come with an open mind, and I feel I will be blessed by many insights that this place is ready to offer me "and being here at this auspicious time will be a special experience. I think pure thoughts, I want to see all the dimensions that Roger and Renate Hamilton have set for their guests to discover. I leaf through the information booklet about the Ganesha room.

From my years studying in India, I know Ganesha is the 'God of Knowledge', or as it says in my folder, "'God of New Beginnings' – the elephant head denotes wisdom and its trunk represents Aum, the sound symbol of cosmic reality. " I read on. "You are in a better place now than when you were at the end of your last cycle. Pause in this place and take the time to connect and reflect before your new beginning. What are you grateful for? Who are you thankful to?" , the folder in my room taunts me.

After a night of blissful slumber I sit on my verandah, on a wooden sun chair, a silk cushion supporting my head. I have John Grisham's latest book on my lap but don't feel like reading. The place draws me in. It is shrouded in soul-pleasing foliage that attracts the birds and butterflies, the pool shimmers with its turquoise blue water and the fountain overflows with joyous rhythm. The bees buzz and circle the flower-laden trees. I am neither thirsty or hungry. This beauty has fulfilled my soul. Bali is the 'Island of Gods.' Is this the Eden we all crave to be in ?, I wonder.

Mythology and Symbolism

I look at my surroundings with an open mind, searching for meanings and nuances. Ancient mythology and symbolism play a big role in the creation of this resort. Will I be able to peel away layers to delve into the deeper meanings of this magical place as I am challenged to do by my hosts? Or should I just enjoy the beauty it offers, to relax and rejuvenate my spirits? I go around taking pictures and committing to memory the spots that are inspiring and gorgeous. Beautiful thoughts, beautiful places.

Renate – Guests Come First

Reading the information in my room urges me to go on a discovery tour around the special rooms at Vision Villas. I must look for my guide and hostess Renate who has so graciously opened her home to me during this holiday. She has even kept a few of the staff for me to feel comfortable. I feel humbled and grateful. "Guest always comes first", she tells me happily while showing me her resort.

"There are 12 rooms which follow a cycle, telling a tale from creation to preservation to completion. Each room represents a Hindu God who is part of the cycle."

I poke my head into most rooms. Every room is different, and all the decorations are unique and have been personally researched and found by Renate and her interior designer / friend Desley Truscott.

"We did the whole place in three weeks just before the XL Results Foundation Country Managers' meetings last March. We were still hanging curtains when people were arriving. Roger is the person who had the ideas about how each room, every statue, fountain and pathway was going to be designed and how they all had to be connected in a cosmic cycle. "

True Seekers Find the Answer

The extensive write-up in each room lets guests get a glimpse of Roger's whole vision and an indication of his depth of knowledge in this area. "Everything comes together in harmony and completion in the chain of 12 rooms while the 13th room watches," he writes. There are questions but only the true seekers will find the answers.

On the other hand, one does not need to be a philosopher, a Hindu, or even religious to learn and appreciate the thought that has gone into creating this resort. Anyone can enjoy the fabulous ambiance and the many amenities that it provides for its guests or what it does for charities in Bali.

Renate, a radiographer by profession, is very passionate about the association of Vision Villas with John Fawcett Foundation, where she volunteers three days a week. "I do anything there, including cleaning the toilets."

Local Crafts

A one-night stay at the Villa results in a donation that provides one eye operation for a Balinese. Every day that you stay here you give vision to a person. Renate is very big on charity and, like her husband, strongly believes in making money and giving it away. She has set up a gift shop in the resort which she sources locally made unique gifts for, with all proceeds going to the Foundation. There are silver jewelery, wooden statues, silk ware, handmade soaps and toiletries on sale.

An auction was organized after last year Entrepreneur Business School (EBS). With the help of friends and associates it raised RP40 million for John Fawcett Foundation. She proudly displays the receipts from the donations at her gift shop.

Renate is a very fit looking lady and she radiates a healthy glow. I ask if she is into any fitness regiment. She casually mentions that she was a champion swimmer in her youth in Ireland, where she won lots of trophies in the nationals and county meets. I find her worldly and so down-to-earth. She is very enthusiastic about Bali and her volunteer work. Her positive attitude and enthusiasm on life is contagious. We chat about her childhood. As a youngster she lived in Zambia with her family and loved the outdoors and the animals.

In the Flow

Bali is home she says and coming home through the gates its positive energies envelope her and she feels calm and in harmony with her surroundings and she feels her life is worthwhile. She volunteers at the Bali International School with her friend, Jane Manser, a New Zealander, whose parents were Olympic swimmers. They coach 80 children from 27 nationalities and promote internal competition.

We walk through the gardens and she shows me her favorite spot, the spa pavilion which sits in the middle of a big square pond where the water lilies and lotus flowers jostle for attention and wait to be kissed by the rays of the sun. White muslin curtains hang from the four corners and it is a very romantic and peaceful setting for a relaxing spa treatment. (But today everyone is off and I will have to wait for another time to experience it.)

A 'Presence' in the Spa

She tells me a story about the Parvati room that faces the spa bale. "In the beginning the staff would refuse going in as they felt a 'presence' inside. A few family members who are spiritual teachers felt the same way so the village priest had to be called in and after the rituals and ceremony, white curtains had to be hung across the room at the pavilion to attract the 'presence' outside and talismans were put on opposite sides of the bale. Now the room is fine and the feeling that someone was there is gone. "

But then this is Bali. Superstitions rule, I say!

We keep walking and she shows me the tennis court and the library. "We also sponsor 33 students from the village, they could not afford to go to school so we help them out." I am sure the villagers are very grateful to have such a generous neighbor within them. "We feel very safe here," she adds. "They protect us. Most of the village is in some way connected to the resort. They employ everyone locally and Renate is very pleased with her management team who are very competent in their positions.

Vision Villas has held a wedding, XL Country Managers meetings, EBS gatherings and even a detox workshop week put on by a Life Member. "It has been a very enjoyable year so far" she says, "and it has been a blast living here and meeting so many interesting Life Members."

The Children Impress

I felt as if I had monopolised Renate long enough. This was the long weekend for the children and they needed her attention. Kathleen, a very smart young lady of 12, shows me her drawings. She likes to draw and design clothes while Luke, the youngest, who is eight, impresses me with his poetry. Ten-year-old Theresa is ready to make a cake. I leave them and wonder around the compound.

I find my favorite spot on the second floor near the library. The reading pavilion is peaceful and overlooks the green fields. Comfy cushions and a good book are what the doctor ordered, so I sit to read and look at the stone monk on the floor. Some kids see me from the field and yell, "hello". I wave back, then change places so they can't see me. I don't want them to get into trouble. Silence Day isn't over until 6.00am tomorrow morning.

Nugget Says Hello

There should be no lights, no music and only candles. We have an early dinner. The staff ask me if I want something from the menu, and I say I will have the same as the family. Renate has cooked lasagna, which is delicious. We have the cake they all made together, and everyone agrees it is a marvellous effort and very tasty indeed. Kids go to their rooms. Nugget, the adopted dog, comes and says hello, and Renate and I sit in the candlelight and chat for hours. Candles are everywhere.

I bid goodnight and goodbye to my gracious hostess and return to my room. "The room you are in is prepared to offer you a personal insight if you are prepared to accept it. The full vision that this place offers is a magical treat that it unravels over time." I will come back to discover more. I have found a few answers to the questions, which made my stay meaningful. If your soul aches for peace and tranquility, make a stop at the Vision Villas "to get vision and to give vision", as their mantra goes, and in the process feel recharged and rejuvenated.

I left the room of Ganesha, the god with the elephant head, to travel across Bali to meet real elephants who were rescued and taken care of by a very caring soul, which you can read about in a future edition of XL Magazine.

So had planned a lovely day out a while ago with a group of riders that I haven't spent a lot of time out riding with.

Before the ride the Admin and owner of the Facebook group that I had become a member of wanted to go to the seaside and had chosen Hunstanton as the destination, I was asked if I could plan a route and lead the ride, I can only assume that they believed myself to be a competent rider that could safely get everyone to the destination, and also the group had 1 maybe 2 people riding on 125's and L plates, not a problem to plan a route avoiding any motorways I can do that.

Not knowing how many of us could be going I did post to the group about using the corner man system to keep everyone moving and avoid stopping. Sounds like a good idea and that was that.

Late on the night before I received a message saying someone else was going to lead the ride and plan the route, fine not a problem I can enjoy myself, sit back look at the scenery, did I mention my wife was coming along as pillion too ? we can have a nice chat on the intercom about the usual married stuff (all the married men. You know what I am talking about, all the single men you will find out).

So we arrive at the meeting point a little early and several bikers are present, I am then informed that the person leading can not find his satnav but has looked at the route, OK I said I am going to sit at the back anyway and can pick up any stragglers.

So eventually everyone is here and we set off, having already programmed my Satnav with the route we turn right instead of left and head off, no problem I remember saying to the wife as we will end up at the same point just the long way round .

After about 20 minutes riding we are on a dual carriageway all riding in single file all being good (we did have 2 125's with us so speeding wasn't going to be a concern).

We start gaining on a Waitrose HGV, no worries I am looking to pull out to allow the other in particular the 125's a chance to overtake, but instead we slow down to a creeping 52mph, OK not the end of the world we are traveling at just above 50mph on a 70mph road, but remember I am sitting at the back !, now cars do not see motorbikes at the best of times but when traveling at around 70mph they are not expecting to gain on a group of 6 bikers at a great speed, after a few close calls and a slip road that a car had decided to force his way on in between the group of bikes I decided enough was enough, we may have 2 125's with us but this is now getting dangerous and the smaller bikes can overtake a lorry at 52mph, so I move out overtake everyone and gesture to the lead rider that it might be a good idea to follow me (I was polite, honest).

so everyone follows me around and I gesture everyone past me and take up position at the back again and this time we are doing a comfortable 65-70mph, happy days.

It was not very long before I noticed the guy in front of me acting very strange, I mean in the sense of a panic, something had flown into his crash helmet and was making buzzing noises, now we all know that feeling of sheer panic we get from time to time but this is real, I know it has happened to me and scared the crap out of me.

So at the earliest opportunity he pulled into a lay by and I followed him in to make sure he was OK.

After a quick ripping off of the crash helmet and plenty of arm flapping we was back on our way, this person was on a 1000cc bike same as me so catching the group up was not going to pose a problem and we sent off.

We rounded a bend on the dual carriageway and to my surprise and astonishment and amazement to be honest there they all are parked at the side of a 70mph road, not in a lay by or anywhere safe but the side of the dual carriageway.

Yup unbelievable I know. we slowed down and thankfully the group caught us up and again I waved them all past and again took up position at the rear.

OK by this time I am starting to get concerned about the ride, nothing major but a few concerns about my safety that of my pillion and the other riders in the group, also that intercom was busy with wife chatter about how unsafe the last couple of incidents had been and how we need to do more shopping and something needs to be done about blah blah blah.

So we eventually stop at a McDonald's and have an ice cream and a pee etc and the leader of the ride is busy looking at his phone and telling everyone we are nearly there and it is the A47 for the most of the way so it shouldn ' t take us long. Now I am a forgiving man and I will always give someone a second chance so I decide not to say anything about the last couple of incident and to just try and enjoy the rest of the ride and see how things go, nobody is perfect right? we all make mistakes so we will just carry on and enjoy ourselves.

A little further into the ride we are all moving along nicely staying together and the intercom chatter is the usual stuff about look at that car etc, you know wife talk!

After several roundabout and a couple of winding roads we approach a large roundabout and according to the signpost it has 5 exits, I look see what exit we want (it is the 2nd) and we all start piling onto this very large roundabout with long slip roads, and we stop on the roundabout, yup on the roundabout to the left just before exit 1, now thinking someone has just had a problem as I am at the back I stick the hazard lights on and try and see what is going on ahead , the lead rider gets off his bike and walks back towards a couple of the riders behind him and … he has his phone in his hand … checking the map! I know right, just what you are thinking, not a lay by or quiet residential road to pull over on, a roundabout, nothing could possibly go wrong right? we thankfully nothing did go wrong, we all got going again and nobody died or was injured, thankfully.

Once we reached out destination and everyone had dismounted de-kitted and generally relaxed I did ask the question of what was you thinking about when you decided to follow a lorry along the dual carriageway, stop at the side of same said road, and of course the parking on the roundabout ?, well apparently none of these things happened although others amongst us was equally unhappy with the ride as a whole, this being said me and the now furious wife went off on our own in search of food.

After a hearty meal and plenty of coffee we head back towards the bikes and a couple of the other riders are hanging around as apparently they are all heading back shortly.

I gave my excuses and let them know we are heading back on our own now and to say thank you to everyone.

Once we had returned home still thinking about the ride and the things that had happened I decided to have a little rant about it amongst the group that I belong to, now this group has some very experienced riders and some knew ones, but we all above everything else watch out for each other when we are out together, we can as you imagine spend a lot of hours riding together and a certain level of trust has built up amongst us, well they all felt the same as myself, these events should not happen and there are no excuses for it. end of discussion really NO EXCUSES for failing to keep yourself and others with you safe and not purposely put anyone in danger.

Well apparently there are excuses for these incidents and some of them never actually happened or was not as bad as I think they where, after all everyone made it home didn't they, well everyone did but not together because after I left them they apparently lost 2 of the other riders at some stage, but that is OK, they just carried on.

During the fall out of my comments in a private group, this is the fun bit, I have been kicked out of the Facebook group that organized this ride and O dear unfriended by some of the members that made it home alive on that day, well am I gutted? upset? feel like I was treated unfairly ?, no not really If you can not take any criticism and insist on lying about what actually happened so you do not feel bad, carry on, all I was offering was advice on how to keep yourself safer on the roads, not interested? fine carry on and hopefully you will never have an accident or get injured in any way, I seriously hope that is true because I do not want people to get hurt and it makes me angry when you would rather lie than admit you made a mistake.

Anyway this has rambled on a bit so I will leave it there and you can let me know what you think.

Incidentally I have been out on a few other rides recently and even lead a few of them myself and everyone had fun and nobody was put in any danger so it can be done.

Ride safe everybody and if you do not ride a motorcycle, just keep and eye out for us, we appreciate it.

With recent gross indiscretions from everyone from a congressman to actors, this topic is on my mind. Why in heaven’s name would any sane person take the risk of sending suggestive messages or pictures to someone they do not know… that they have never met? I love the explanation by one commentator I saw on TV. “NARCISSISM!”

All of us know by now, or should know by now, that our communication gadgets and technologies bring with them many risks. There is the illusion when texting or e-mailing someone that we actually DO know that person. We meet through chat rooms, dating services, whatever, and we rapidly develop a “relationship” of some sort. Please note the word ILLUSION, for that is exactly what that is. I “converse” with you via one of these methods and we become waaaaay too familiar with each other waaaay too soon. I would never assume such a “close” relationship with you if I had met you in person (certainly not so quickly).

Then, if I am a true narcissist, I simply assume that you want to really “know” me (with the narcissist, it is always about me. You know, “Hi, how are you? And, how are you feeling about ME?”). I ASSUME you want a photo of me in my skivvies or in the nude. Of course, you never asked me for this, but I just assume that you want this and I send it off to you with a “cute” message. Then, I am totally bewildered when you are offended, or when my spouse finds out about this and is heartbroken. Repeatedly, I work with people who have made this very grave error. Many times one is married and comes for counseling after finding this type of communication taking place by their partner. They feel betrayed, and rightfully so. The pain all of this brings to relationships is enormous. Many relationships are unable to recover from this type of infidelity (and very often,m the offender, regardless of,multiple promises to his or her mate is unable to stop the egregious behavior without long-term counseling).

I suppose that sexting can be rather fun between committed couples. It is still far too risky. None of these communication systems is all that secure and a picture intended for just one can end up being sent to may, or being placed on YouTube. What started out as just a “frisky” message may haunt an individual for years. When prospective employers engage in a search on-line regarding an applicant, this is not the type of information that will endear one to a company.

What is the answer? So simple. Just don’t do it. Don’t start this behavior, and if you are engaging in it, stop. If you cannot stop on your own, ask for help. The consequences are just not worth it.

Trauma is one of those emotional health areas that can impact our lives unexpectedly. Many of my clients have been in the armed forces and experienced active service; they may have witnessed or been subject to an act of violence; some clients may live (or have lived) with ongoing emotional abuse within a significant relationship. Whatever the issue, the knock-on effects of trauma can present in many ways. Here are some examples:

• anxiety and panic attacks
• hyper vigilance (where you pay attention to your surroundings at an exhausting level of awareness)
• eczema and other skin complaints
• breathing difficulties
• challenges with meaningful relationships
• outbursts of anger (recognised as too big for the incident that’s just occurred)
• difficulty sleeping (tired and irritable each day)

This above list would be traditionally treated in 2 ways: firstly you may be offered medication (sleeping pills, emotion suppressants, anti depressants) to manage some of the physical symptoms; and secondly you may be offered a series of counselling to talk through your trauma experience and to try to make more sense of it (which is good assuming it doesn’t require you to re-live those past experiences).

In Human Givens psychotherapy (which is the only therapy we’ll offer our clients at Healthy Chat) our approach is simple and it’s also 2-fold:

1. de-sensitise the trauma so that a client is no longer hijacked by their past experiences impacting their present reality. We do a powerful (and quick) piece of work on the very first session.
2. re-equip the client to move on positively with their life. Here we work for 2 or 3 further sessions reviewing the parts of their life they’d now like to rebuild and move forward with – relationships, career, fitness, etc – and get on with designing and practicing some practical strategies to support that

Traumatic events are experienced by millions of people every year. Some a person may be fully aware of, and some may be blocked out of their mind for reasons of emotional (and sometimes physical) survival. In most cases a dramatic experience can’t be kept in check forever, so if you, or someone you know, is experiencing increasing difficulty in thinking clearly, managing overwhelm, or has unexpected outbursts of anger, it’s worth having a first conversation with a Human Givens therapist to explore whether a recent or old traumatic event might be the reason.

I’ve often found that the more simple a process is, the more we can trust it. Like:

• Food: fruit, vegetables, meat (or not) & carbs in their natural form (if you’re reading dozen’s of ingredients its probably not a great choice) – keep it simple
• Fitness: run, swim, walk, dance, move, enjoy. Step out of your house and get your heart rate up for 20 minutes. That’s it – keep it simple
• Friendships: this feels good – do more of it; this feels like a chore – do less of it – keep it simple

Simplicity is the hallmark that a product or service can be accessed by many – a ‘more for all, less to none’ approach.

With trauma recovery, there is now enough scientific evidence to show that Human Givens therapy is the simplest, fastest solution for those who want relief from their trauma experiences. At Healthy Chat our success comes from having you living happy, fulfilling, motivated lives in as short a time frame as possible.

Trauma recovery – book at Healthy Chat now. And keep it simple!

It was truly a Millionaire Moment for me. I was overjoyed and truly felt blessed. I had tears of joy in my eyes as I picked him up and hugged him. My son is 7 years old now and still continues to surprise us with his responses.

My son Anirudh (was 5 years then) came home from school one Wednesday and was pretty excited about a Homework Project that he had to complete by the coming week. After the initial excitement was over, he got busy with his schedule – snacking, going out to play with his friends, etc. That day passed somehow and we were at the dinner table chatting about his day at school as usual. My wife and me inquired as to when he was planning to start the Project and he replied that he had ample time till next Tuesday. We just continued the conversation, finished dinner and watched some TV, before going off to bed.

The next day as soon as Anirudh got home from school, both my wife and me got on his case about his project. He seemed pretty distracted with something on TV that he was watching and half heartedly answered that he would do it on Monday and submit it as per the deadline on Tuesday. Parents that we were, we wanted him to do it as early as possible so that he could be amongst the early birds in terms of submission. Our requests to him were falling on deaf ears, when I decided to try out a technique I had read somewhere, in a book on Parenting – we all do it ! Don’t we?

Anyways, I told my wife loudly so that my son could hear clearly as well – “Let him decide when he should do the Project. After all he is a responsible kid and knows the importance of submission of his Project on time”. My wife agreed to let him be and after a while we sat down for dinner and all was well. Generally we would watch some TV or chat before we hit the bed.

My son comes up to me and asks me if he could work on his Project, instead of watching TV before going to bed. I was pleasantly surprised but agreed nevertheless. He worked on his project for about an hour or so and completed building a Log Cabin, out of flat ice cream sticks. It was 9.00 pm now and way past his bedtime. He came to me with his Log Cabin and I was thrilled to see it – so I called my wife who was equally if not more, surprised. We hugged and kissed him and CONGRATULATED him on his achievement. We clicked some pictures of him and his Log Cabin as well and I could see the joy in his face and eyes.

It was 9.30 pm by now and I was ready to go to bed. So I went to the kitchen to have a drink of water and Anirudh came in after me and said ” THANK YOU DAD”. I replied ” FOR WHAT DARLING? YOU REALLY DID A GREAT JOB – I DID NOTHING TO HELP” To which he looked into my eyes with his big black eyes and said ” YOU BELIEVED IN ME, TRUSTED ME AND THAT IS WHY I COULD COMPLETE IT”.

I was touched and had tears of joy in my eyes as I picked him up and hugged him. That was truly a Millionaire Moment for me. I was overjoyed and truly felt blessed. He is 10 years old now and still continues to surprise us with his responses. God Bless Him.

No grammar, no rules, not anything complicated is needed to learn English. If you want to speak in English Just learn English as we learn our 1st language. We can’t be fluent in English by learning grammar rules, lots of vocabularies. We need to speak out. How does a baby learn any language? They just listen to others and copy them. We will do exactly the same to learn English speaking.

WE need a rich collection of native speaker’s English lessons. Read these lessons; listen to the sentences that will increase your listening power. Then speak out. Use interactive lessons to start speaking. Interactive lessons are the most effective way to learn English. Follow how the native speaker speaks, pronounce. Chat in the various forums, chat rooms. Find your partner and then speak, speak and speak.

How to speak: Find out a website which has huge native English speaker’s lessons with slang, idioms & phrases. Just follow those.

Whom to speak: find your partners in various forums, chat rooms.

Here are the main reasons why people hate grammar:

* Grammar just slows me down – if I have to figure out the rules it will take me ten minutes to say five words.

* Children learn to speak a language before they can read a grammar book.

* As long as people understand me, that’s all that counts.

* Grammar is boring and doesn’t make any sense, anyway.

Grammar is also not an effective way to learn any language. Just learn English as we learn our 1st language.

A few decades ago, the internet was not as common as it is now. In fact, the usage of the internet is rising by the day. Today, you are, perhaps, so dependent on internet that if you are told to spend a day without your internet connection, you will consider it a stiff punishment. Even your school going children may not agree to spend a day without using the internet.

As time is passing by, people are demanding high speed internet more than ever before. The service providers are also happy to capitalize on this situation as it suits them the most. While a large number of people are not quite happy with the high speed internet they have, not many bother to do anything concrete about it.

Last week I happened to meet my friend Jack in the super market. We had met for a few hours and we sat down in a restaurant to have coffee together. We had a long chat too. Jack told me how he had been ripped off on his internet bill by his provider.

After coming home, I kept pondering over our discussions that evening. I did feel that providers were indeed fleecing their customers due to the latter's ignorance in this relatively new field.

I soon realized that when it comes to high speed internet, most of the people around, including me, are really in the dark. We mostly go by what others say. If I am not satisfied with my high speed internet, I would only complain about it. At the most, I may go by someone's advice and subscribe to a more expensive package available with my provider. I was told that I would get better speeds in uploading and downloading content if I went to a more expensive package.

Well, I did some research three days ago and learned that things are not as difficult as they appear to be on this front. I checked my internet package to find out the download speed (in megabits per second or Mbps) for which I was paying my service provider. Next, I connected my internet and logged into a site that checks internet speeds. The website gave me the actual download speed that I was getting. The huge gap confirmed that I had also been getting ripped off by my service provider.

With A phone call and some hard talk with my provider, I am now getting a much better download speed on my high speed internet. What about you?