The book of Bhrigu, or the Bhrigu Samhita is a real book, written several thousands of years ago, during an age the Hindus call the Vedic Period.

This is when the Vedas, of their Holy Books were being written. Maharshi Bhrigu (Maharshi meaning Great Rishi, or Saint) compiled the horoscopes of all the people who would consult the book, for all time. Hard to believe? Read on.

Maharshi Bhrigu is believed to be the first person to record horoscopes that predicted a person’s future.

However, as Hinduism and most Eastern thought embraces the principle of reincarnation, the Saint’s astrology covered a person’s past, present and future existences. It is said the Maharshi recorded some 500,000 horoscopes, and life histories with the help of Sri Lord Ganesha. The 500,000 horoscopes resulted in about 45,000,000 permutations, and this is what is in the book today.

The Claims of the Book of Bhrigu

o The horoscope of anyone destined to find the real Book of Bhrigu is already within it.

o There is only real original copy, and its actual location is held secret. There are several copies that have been made throughout history, but many are frauds and many just totally inaccurate.

The Book of Bhirgu has always been the property of the Bhramin caste, and as India was invaded, conquered, and dominated by various races, the Book went underground to keep it intact for future generations.

Also during the various invasions the Bhramin castes were disbursed throughout India and the sub-continent, and copies of the Book of Bhrigu went with them.

Always one special priest was trained in the Maharshi Bhrigu’s sciences, and learned how to (a) locate someone who had come to consult the book, and (b) how to interpret the readings. This required a life-long study, so always new priests are being prepared to carrying on after a resident priest dies or retires.

The Real Book of Bhrigu and Frauds

Sadly, India is not only home and repository of a great amount of the world’s wisdom, it is also the home of some of the most immoral people to as in all countries.

These unscrupulous people have made unreal copies of what appears to be a real Book of Bhrigu, but are only fakes. Usually peddled to foreigners, and diaspora Indians (who cannot read and write Sanskrit) great sums of money are often extorted in schemes to reveal but fantasies from the swindler’s mind.

A real book of Bhrigu will be held in a shrine, entrusted to a high Bhramin family, whose head is the resident priest…or else in an ashram. No real money will be asked from you to do a reading, although you may make a small contribution to the Priest’s family.

Your name (a Sanskrit transliteration) will be in the book. So if you are lucky enough to locate a real book of Bhrigu, you should take along a trusted person who can read and write Sanskrit (to validate the priest’s claims).

A fraud will ask you to return, ask for money in increasing amounts, and suggest solutions to your life that are too easy to believe (pay for your sins). Before you go, make sure that you have enough information that the place and person you visit are real.

As a guide, you should know that the original Book of Bhrigu will contain the horoscope of any individual you has been destined to consult it, and it will predict the past, present and future, revealing also clearly the consulting day, time and date of the individual along with the remedial measures needed to correct his or her life.

What is Supreme devotion?

Let me start with an example. We go to the athletic stadium, try to get a comfortable seat and watch the players, be it a game of cricket, soccer or basket ball. We jump and clap with excitement when the team that we like scores and feel bad when that team does not perform well. Our emotions and enthusiasm is all based on those players, situations. We are either happy or unhappy. We never stop to think that all these things, the game, the team, their training, the ground, the tickets, coordination, organization is all done by someone behind the serene without which none of this would be possible, including our happiness, which is also temporary and never gives full satisfaction. We aspire to go the next game again and again.

There are multiple teams and leaders like playground maintenance, ticket counters, advertisers, parking arrangements, players, meeting their needs etc. People need to go to the concerned team to get what they want. Ultimately the entire team, all teams take directions as puppets from the upper management who overseas the entire process.

Similarly in the spiritual world, or path, the deities could be approached for what we need. We interact with the world through our senses and believe that this world that we experience through senses is real. We totally ignore the supreme Lord who showers the blessings on all, including these deities.

God is unmanifested, attributeless, nameless, formless, partless infinite who created the world through maya, his shakti.

For many God is a concept, belief or a theory, some see God as incarnations as Krishna or Rama, Jesus or Allah, others as avatars as Adi Sankara, Ramana while others see God as deities in temples, some as natures and elements. Some don’t believe in God, some compare my God to your God and creating divisions but an attempt to know God AS IS is extremely rare.

God is ONE and without a second. He is everywhere and in everything. Just knowing one aspect of God is not knowing God fully. He is the viswarupam, that is He is present in everything that the five senses can and cannot perceive in full. He is seen as different aspects individually. We need to know God in His entirety.

God is the inner Self, present in all bodies from ant to elephant, from mosquitoes to the life between the rocks, from fish deep under the ocean to the eagle flying high up in the sky to all human, planets with their rhythmic movements and everything that exists in the entire universe. He is Sat-Chit-Ananda. The mere existence of a rock is Him, the Chit, Knowledge that exists is Him and the Ananda, the experience of Bliss is Him.

The ‘Is-ness’ is Him.

The atman, the inner Self, the ‘I’ in all body is Him. This Self knowledge and being one with Him is the supreme devotion. When there is only One, there is no two therefore there can be no fear or anger or hatred. Only love for the Self and that love is God.

There simply is no plurality. One and only ONE exists. This is supreme devotion.

What should we keep in mind while worshipping a deity?

Coming from a business background, this is how I see the deities. In any business, we have the president, his CEO, CFO, COO then there are purchasing, sales, marketing, warehousing, inventory, transportation, accounts and finance departments. They all have specific responsibility and accountability. Each one can give a detailed information and cater to the employees and customers needs pertaining to that specific department. They are restrained to that particular role based on their qualification and experience but they all operate under the guidance of the top three, who gets their power from the president.

Nirguna Brahman is like this president of the entire cosmos, universe. He alone runs the entire show. The trigunathmika, maya operate because of this Nirguna Brahman and the deities are the saguna brahman with forms, getting powers from the supreme.

All other deities are like the front line leaders, department heads to whom the laborers go to. These deities will fulfill our wishes like getting a job, get married, have a baby, pass the exams, take care of health as a devotee asks for them. Devotees prayers are answered.

The devotees often don’t approach the Nirguna Brahman, just like an employee is happy and satisfied with his day to day work and pay check and doesn’t approach the president. When we approach the president, we might become his partner based on our intensity, education, qualification, and the desire to be with such a talent.

Similarly, we have to have the intensity to see, experience the supreme Nirguna Brahman who is the only One present and expressing in different names and forms.

All deities are also the expressions of the Supreme Lord with limited powers. They all have their own territory and they all get their powers from the supreme Lord. So, we need to move beyond these deities, though this is an earlier step to move forward. Deities are finite with limited powers. There is only One infinite God.

As we keep on asking for worldly things, we are asking solutions to our problems and continue to be in this state. We should keep in mind that we need to get into the enquiry mode asking for, ‘who am I’ which can lead us to the Self knowledge and further on to Realization of the supreme Lord, which the purpose of human birth rather than solving the day to day problems and dragging this human life till end.

How does different categories of devotees progress.

Devotees can be arti, artharti or jijnasu, and can progress from one state to the other. Bhagavatam gives examples of such devotees.

Gajendra, a devotee of God, an elephant, was in the water and a crocodile strongly held his foot. He tried to release himself and finally called for God’s support. At that time he exhibited artharti, by seeking personal gain. When the Lord appeared, he swiftly asked for the release from maya. He moved from artharti to jijnasu.

Another example would be Dhuruva asked for a secured position in the world while later regretted for not asking for unwavering devotion. Was an artharti and he could have been a jijnasu.

Arjuna was a jijnasu whereas Sanatkumara and Naradha were Jnanis.

I also think that when Draupati raised her arms and asked for help in Astinapura to protect her integrity, she was an artharti.

How long does it take to know God? What prevents us from knowing God?

This is like asking, how long will it take to eat a meal? That depends on how hungry the person is. Comparing an individual who is starving for fews days to a person fasting one meal to the one eating a lunch after a heavy breakfast. The speed at which they all eat varies.

How long does it take to to know for an individual that he was dreaming? Once he is awake, he knows it right away!! Similarly, the moment one gains this knowledge, one knows God.

The intensity at which an individual seeks God varies from an individual who seeks none other than God, to a person who calls for him as a business partner for personal gain, to the one who thinks of God only when he faces a problem in life.

The faith, the passion, the commitment, the thirst, the consistency in seeking God should be as ferocious as the one who is gasping for breath under water.

Therefore it varies from person to person as to how long it takes for an individual to seek God. It can even take many births to know God. It might happen in an instant or in a single life based on one’s eligibility.

One thing is very certain that it is not impossible to seek God if one truly commits to that goal. When we worship deities, the Supreme Lord satisfies our needs thus establishing our faith strongly in that deity. This supreme Lord is also called ‘Karmaphala dhata’ He gives the results of our actions, based on our vasanas.

The devotees without knowing that One supreme Lord is satisfying their needs, they believe particular deities are answering their prayers. They continue to follow the rituals towards those deities with full faith. Thus, their desires are getting fulfilled, based on their own karmas, vasanas by the supreme. (7.22).

People pray to deities for worldly possessions or progeny or for worldly gain. All that we get through such prayers from these deities are temporary and also we, the seeker is temporary to enjoy them. We forget that everything is ephemeral. Not only they have an end to enjoy them, they also do not give us the complete satisfaction.

When we eat a good meal, we can’t eat more than what we can and we wonder whether we would get such a meal for the next meal. We are not happy when we eat less or overeat. Never satisfied!!

As we keep on getting them over and over again we are caught in this cyclical samsara. This temporary happiness achieved by worshipping finite deities prevents us from questioning the existence and its source, the supreme.

How do you explain the concept of many deities in Hinduism?

There is electricity in the house and all the appliances work in perfect condition. The fan is spinning, the iron is working, the fridge is on, the bulb is glowing, the heater is on etc. Each one performs its action due to this electricity. When there is no power nothing can work. We can get the breeze from the fan, the cold drink from the fridge, the light from the bulb and the heat from the heater only when there is electricity.

Similarly, all the deities with different shapes, sizes, genders operate due to the presence of the divine supreme Lord. Each deity caters to the individual needs of the devotees, drawing the power from the source, the supreme.

The devotees prayers are answered but those are not permanent, giving complete contentment. Devotees get what they ask for. It is up to them to seek the supreme Lord.

What role does maya play in preventing us from realizing God?

Maya is not a separate entity but the other side of Lord. Ardhanareeswarar reflects this. Maya is His Shakti, His power, also called apara shakti.. This maya is also called thrigunathmika, a combination of three gunas sattva, rajas and tamas.

Let us start with the three terms commonly used ~ Sat, Asat and Mithya.

Sat is that which is real and exists in all three states, past, present and future, This does not refer to time but before during and after realizing that it is nit a snake but a rope.

Mithya is that which appears but not real.

Asat is that which does not exist.

The normal example in Vedanta is a rope and the snake. Say we see a rope at dusk on the street, we often mistake it to a snake. The rope here is real, the snake is mithya. We cannot say that the snake did not exist. It did exist in the mind, and triggered the emotion of fear. So there was an appearance, though might not be real, which we know later after analysis. Therefore it is mithya.

Similarly, the supreme Lord is Sat, exists in all three states. How do we know He exists? He is in our body when we are awake, while dreaming and in deep sleep. Because of His inner presence we are able to say, ‘I slept well’. Who slept, who knows who slept and woke up?

Now when we dream, everything in that dream appears to be real, as long as we are in that plane of existence. Once we wake up, the dream is gone. This is an example of appearance (mithya. The dream is not non existent (Asat), for it did exist before but it was only an appearance. Mithya does not last forever. They have a beginning and an end.

Similarly, the entire universe is an appearance, everything has a beginning and end. It is the expression of Lord, (who is beyond the senses) but the world that we experience through our senses is only an appearance, not real a difficult concept to comprehend. But we don’t see that way. We think it is truly real. This appearance is due to maya or shakti, also called apara shakti. The more we get attracted, attached to it, lured by its glamor, the more it seems real.

While driving, we come across mirage on the road. Once you know there is no water, then you’re convinced that it was only an appearance of water. Then when we see it again, we won’t be fooled by it appearance.

Likewise knowing of Self, is the knowledge of God. The Self and the supreme Brahman are one. Only this knowledge can help us discriminate the real from unreal. Until then, we are caught in this samsara, an everlasting cycle of birth and death.

God (Nirguna Brahman) is both para and apara together. Para is the divine consciousness and apara is all the inert. They are like two sides of the same coin. Para can exist without apara but not the other way. Apara is leaning on, dependent on para shakti. Lord appears as this world and in all beings. Lord here is not to be confused with the form of Krishna or Rama but the supreme Brahman, the attribute-less.

All avatars, all deities, all lokas, all happiness, sorrows, accomplishments, titles, strength, power, authority are all nothing but unreal, are His expressions as an appearance.

With this maya around, we all are lured into believing the unreal as real and get attracted to the glamorous, impermanent lives and get attachment to them. We pray to the deities asking for impermanent things, which do not satisfy us fully.

All our bodies also are para and apara, the Consciousness and the body, mind, intellect, all our vasanas, likes and dislikes, desires and emotions. They all exist only because of para shakti. We are all born with likes and dislikes and our desires take us towards the likes or repel from the dislikes. Therefore we really do not go deeper into anything. This is the illusionary effect of maya.

This lack of discrimination between the real and unreal, created by maya prevents us from surrendering to the supreme Lord.

What are the salient points covered in Chapter 7 of the Bhagavad Gita?

This chapter starts with the superiority of jnana marga which Sri Krishna highlights from the position of Supreme Brahman. The Lord highlights the greatness of knowledge (jnana)and wisdom (vijanam). By knowing this he says the devotee would know that beyond which there is nothing else to know.

Then he describes the supreme brahman as para and apara, para as Consciousness, (Brahma swaroopam), and Maya,Jagat (apara). He explains that He is both the material and instrumental cause of this entire existence, the cosmos, galaxies and everything.

He then describes His devotees are four types of them – arta, artharti, jijnasu and Jnani, differentiates the Jnani from Ajnani and confirms that Jnani is the best, superior devotee of them all for he is one with God.

When anything needs to be accomplished, say we travel from point A to point B, we use a vehicle, may it be a cycle, bus or an airplane. When the destination arrives, we don’t hold on to the vehicle. It was only a means to the end. That’s how people worship God to get something, whereas for a realized person (Jnani), Nirguna Brahman is the destination. He doesn’t need anything beyond or from Lord. Therefore he is a superior devotee.

He also mentions that all His devotees worship different forms, concepts and theories of God and get temporary, unfulfilling results, yet do not approach the supreme Lord. They are satisfied with the temporary worldly attractions due to maya and their past impressions.

Verses 24-26, He describes the para prakriti, Brahma swaroopam. V 27-28 how devotees can attain moksha since all are born with the likes and dislikes, which is maya. V 29-30, he confirms that when a devotee goes through step by step in sadanas to jnana marga finally understands Brahman and with firm understanding, worships Him, the formless (Aroopam),

Finally, He says that He expresses himself as Brahman, Atman, Jagat/Adiboot, Iswaran/cosmic person, Action of creation, Action of all. Lord says that for every action has a result that one gets later (consequences) Karmaphala but as far as Self knowledge, the phala is instantaneous. Such a realized person is called Jivan Mukti and even if he leaves this body he is then called Videha Mukti.

Bhagavad Gita, Chapter 7, emphasizes that God should be known in all His facets and know that there is only ONE, that expresses as many. He needs to be understood in totality.

Q: Describe Yoga

Ans: From verse 11-30 knowledge of the Self knowledge (Sankhya buddhi),is revealed. Verse (31-37) explains how this knowledge destroys all bondages, removes confusion, fear and grief leading us to a state of enlightenment.

Yoga buddhi is that attitude which leads us to Self knowledge (Sankhya buddhi), to the state of enlightenment.

Yoga is ‘connect’. Self is happiness but if you’re sad, afraid, confused you’re out of range like being away from WiFi connection.

You’re Sat Chit Ananda, (existence, consciousness, bliss) if you’re out of range from Self, you’re in a remote area..To come back and get connected to presence, Self, is ‘Yoga’.

Karma yoga means we use karma to connect to the source. Jnana yoga means we use knowledge to connect to the source and dhayana Yoga in Bhakti Yoga.

Q: What is shraddha, conviction in Gita?

The understanding of Self should be firm, determination, clear cut conviction. This is shraddha!!

Self knowledge (sankhya buddhi) and the path (yoga buddhi) that will lead us to attain that is by learning the scriptures. Scriptures are the tools that give us the right knowledge. Scriptures, words of realized masters and our experiences are our tools.

Q: What leads to confusion in an individual?

Ans: We see the worldly objects or a person, the mind develops interest, starts liking it, develops a passion to have it and this is called attachment (Kama). When the attachment does not lead to possession of that particular object or person, then the emotion takes over either in the form of fear (bhaya) or anger (krodha). Fear when we feel weak, vulnerable and anger when we feel strong but defeated causing a sorrowful state (Soka). This attachment also leads to delusion (Moha) which is a confused state. At this point, the intellect is paralyzed and unable to make any decision.

Q: What’s our identity in this world per scriptures?

Ans: The absolute identity never changes with time and space. Assumed identity is as mentioned is like we are parent, teacher, sibling, neighbor, friend, professional and with degrees, position, power, authority, titles depending on the role we play. These are all assumed. These often change in the same individual, from person to person or time to time but the real me, the ‘I’ does not change throughout the lifetime whatever role one plays. The ‘I’ absolute identity is the same in a childhood to adolescence to an older person and in all, is ever present.

Many of us through a monotonous life without enquiring the purpose of life. We don’t stop to think or reflect on this question. It is a universal problem that people don’t even try to know who we are. We assume that we are the body. making all totally ignorant of our true identity. That’s why we constantly experience fear, anger, sorrow, confusion, stress trying various methods to keep ourselves cheerful and happy but only for a short period. We set goals, achieve, buy properties and possessions and either we lose them or we lose our energy to enjoy them.

Even then, many are sad on the loss rather than stop to question themselves, ‘who am I?, Where did I come from? What is my goal in life, why am I born?” unless these self enquiry thoughts come to mind, one cannot look for, recognize and realize the true identity, which is everlasting presence of atman in the body. This is the ‘moha’ state of Arjuna in the battlefield.

We are the witness of all actions within this body and around the body

Q: How does Gita helps to face our grief?

Ans: Grief is soka, sorrow. When we are engulfed in sorrow, that emotion totally saps our energy.

Grief starts with fear. Fear of living without the lost one, fear of the unknown situations, fear of life itself. That then leads to self pity, seeking sympathy, which further takes one to anger when others can’t help to minimize this grief. Grief saps our energy completely.

The only way to get out of grief is by right thinking and action, directing one to true Self knowledge. That’s the only way possible to anyone and everyone on this earth. The true Self knowledge is that the Atman present in the body is real one. The body is only temporary and is used as a tool by the atman. Atman is the witness of everything that the mind and body perform..

Atman, which has no beginning or end, is everlasting presence in all bodies whereas the existence of the body is only temporary. Once an individual understands that atman is the permanent substratum, present in every animated body, and everything else is temporal the grief vanishes.

Gita ch 3 emphasises that knowing one’s true identity (Self-knowledge) will remove our grief.

Self knowledge helps us to manage our thoughts and our emotions and choose our actions in the right frame of mind for the common good at all times.

Self knowledge shows us the path not just to be good but to be able to choose to do the right things at all times. That way there is no confusion as to what to do, no regret for what has been done or undone. We live in the present, meeting challenges as and when they come without any stress or tension leading to inner peace, which is moksha.

Q: How does Gita teach us the resilience to deal with life’s challenges?

Ans: Gita is not about God but words from supreme. This chapter teaches seekers to gain enormous mental and emotional strength in dealing with life’s challenging situations.

Endurance, resilience is not an easy quality to anyone, especially when one faces challenges of life. We are often thrown off-guard with sudden unforeseen circumstances, feels helpless and shattered. Resilience is the capacity to handle them in a very objective fashion, with a cheerful disposition.This is possible only when one is able to observe austerity, meaning, a self imposed vow to accept discomforts and forgo pleasures… This can be developed gradually till it becomes a habit, though not an easy task but not an impossible one. For example As per doctor’s advice, a diabetic person cannot eat sugary substance. If he accepts it and is stern about not consuming any of those, that’s austerity. By doing so, he protects his body from further decay. Similarly, runners, hikers have certain austerity they have to follow. Austerity could also defined as a ‘ mental attitude’ with which we handle the situations in life so that we are not shattered, deluded.

Q: What do you mean by the world is not real?

Ans: Real is something that is ever present and not limited to time & space. Everything needs a base, substratum, to change. For example when we see a painting on a canvas with beautiful colors, we initially see the scenery, then, on the next level individual colors and arts like flowers, leaves, As we go deeper down, we see the canvas itself without which nothing can exist. In reality, though the colors and the scenery appears beautiful and draws our attention, it is the canvas on which the scenery is created, without the canvas, there is no painting.

In this case the canvas is real and the painting is unreal but we often see only the painting.

Similarly, the Consciousness that is animating this body is real and the mind, body and intellect are supported by that Consciousness(atman). Without that atman, none of these are functional. The Atman is ‘trikala vatsu’..It is beyond past, present and future.

Q: Explain how confusion and grief. are removed according to Gita?

Ans: From childhood, we are taught about God, prayer, duality etc..But as we grow old, study & accomplish, we should be constantly asking ourselves “Who am I?'” why am I here and What’s my life’s goal?’ This is jnana yoga meaning more of enquiry.

We take on different roles in the society but the absolute identity is the one that never changes, remains in all three states and times. For ex: you’re awake and active, when you’re dreaming, your body is at rest but the mind is active, but when you’re deep asleep both your body and mind are at rest, you enjoy the bliss. Who slept and who knows you slept well? That’s the presence, Atma, Self present in all three states.

It is that which is the substratum of this body, that which supports this body to animate, the one that triggers all hormones and activates all organs is the witness in this body. That is the Self, atman. Once we understand that Self is different from the ego, then we are beyond sorrow, fear, anger and any other emotion.

Q: Science tries to increase the longevity of life, but death is inevitable. Explain from scriptural perspective.

Ans: Everything that is created is bound to dissolve. Everything that comes to life has to face death. There is always an end for every beginning. If a book is created, it won’t last long, If we cook, once it is consumed, the food is not present. Once we start to sing a song, it stops at some point. Constructed building don’t stand forever. Thoughts keep coming and going. Similarly this body, the moment it is born, keep on regenerating by replacing the cells of various organs at different intervals. It is not the same body from childhood to old age. The body is made up of five elements at the time of birth and they merge with the same five elements at the time of death.

According to Vedantic philosophy, every Body goes through six modifications from the Beeja state (exist), birth, growth, modifications, disease and death. So this body comes to this world with an expiry date and I, the ego is not aware of the expiry date. This is natural law.

Q: Celebrate life in the ‘now’, with every person that comes in your life than grieving after the death of the body. Explain why?

Ans: The pure being Atman is ever present, beyond space and time, is present in every BODY, in all species as a reflection, called jivatman. (like the reflection of sun in various bodies of water)

This jivatman is ever present but takes different bodies till it realizes that it is nothing but the pure being. We acquire this body based on our karmic actions. Every action has a consequence and we have earned it. It is as simple as we take a bus to go somewhere, then move on to get a train and then reach the airport and take a plane to the destination. Similarly, based on our karmic needs, we take different bodies and ultimately to reach our destination, moksha. We can get distracted on the way and get down from a bus or a train and get detoured. Then we need to find a different way to reach the destination, that might take longer or shorter with the same transport or a different one.

Exactly the same concept but vedanta calls that mode of transport as bodies. So this body is a means of transportation for the jivatman to its destination. Once we understand this concept, it is now wise to bid farewell to the Body to follow its own path to the destination without grieving.

Q: How are scripture’s teachings relevant to today’s life?

Ans: The scriptures are very much valid today as ever before. They talk about our thoughts, words and actions. As long as human existence is there, these are vital.

What is mind? There is no such thing as ‘mind’ in a physical form. Mind is nothing but flow of thoughts. They come and go with no definite place to pause. The more we try to recall, the more they bring in emotions.

Once we learn to ignore the stray thoughts then the emotions are diminished and we often calm down. The more we retrieve from the database of memories, the corresponding incidences are retrieved, emotions take over and actions performed based on those emotions. or paralyzed leading to inactivity. We tend to encourage such outcomes by giving an extended unwarranted attention to our thoughts.

It is important to endure any challenge when we face with the thought that ‘this too shall pass’. With agitated anxious mind nothing is possible, just like you cannot see the reflection of Sun clearly in a volume of water that has ripples.

Managing the mind, the flow of thought, is very crucial and is the only way by which we can focus on the higher subtle aspect of life.

Understanding the nature of our mind, helps in increasing our forbearance.

It then lets us realize that just like thoughts keep changing, nothing else is permanent. We know the difference between real and unreal, we know the cause has an effect, we choose to do the right thing at all times for we know the consequences of our actions.

Q: Justify using logic (yukti) the basis of belief in rebirth

Ans: Sanathana Dharma philosophy never emphasized on any specific belief. We were always seekers. We did not believe in any faith. Seekers are encouraged to question, enquire and seek the answers to life, individual existence and challenges. Swayam anubhuti (individual experience).

We see plenty of differences from person to person, rich and poor, able and disabled, highly intellectual and the opposite, not to mention the differences in the physical appearances – height, weight, color, structure etc. if we had one life to live, then what is the logic behind these differences? why is it that everyone is not the same, and not come at the same time and go at the same time? Where are we coming from? Why are we different in our thought, word and deeds? Why are we here and Where will we return to? These questions remain unanswered,; whereas the law of karma answers them all.

The second point of thought is that some people always do good things, They are kind, compassionate, helpful, supportive while there are others who are just the opposite, cunning, cheating, jealous, grabbing, hurting, insulting.

How is the first group of people compensated or recognized for their good deeds and how do the second group of people face the consequences of their actions. If all are forgiven then that doesn’t encourage anyone to do any good action. Here also the Bhagavad Gita explains the law of karma as an effective means of understanding life.

Every action has a consequence called papa, sin and punya, meritorious accumulated and experience the effects.

Q: What is dharma?

Ans: Dharma is inherent qualities like the sugar is sweet. There are specific qualities that make us human.

We all have our duties as a sibling, parent, child, employee, employer. Doing one’s duty and in accordance to the inherent disposition is dharma. For example, a surgeon is supposed to cut the body and do the necessary repairs in the patient’s body to improve his health but the surgeon refrains from doing the surgery thinking it would cause injury, then it is adharma. One will not be doing one’s duty, that’s adharma.

Performing Duty, dharma creates merits and gives peace & prosperity. Performing adharmic actions causes demerits. Every thought, word and deed is like a boomerang and will bounce back to the concerned. That’s the law of nature.

Q: How can human come out of sorrow according to Gita.

Ans: This chapters lists the concepts, gives logical explanations and the attitude needed to handle our sorrows in life.

The pure Being, the Atman, which is the real in each & every Body is birthless, deathless &, changeless. The real never perishes, it cannot kill anyone nor can it be killed by anyone. It is the witness and not the doer of actions. Therefore you will not kill them and they will not be killed. Jivatman, the reflection of the ever present Pure Being, existed before the birth of the body and will continue to be alive after the death of the body, continuously taking many more bodies. Atman is never born, never dies. There is no need to grieve on the one that is ever present.

Atman is transmigratory with different bodies, just like we change our clothes depending on the activity or weather conditions or change possessions (TV, Cell phone, computer) even if they are only few years old because we are attracted to the next model or we are disinterested in what we have, so also, our atman decides to quit the current body and get into a newer one. This explains why some lose their body early on and why others linger for a longer period of time in one body. So you should fight knowing that you don’t decide anyone’s death. Why grieve when you are not the killer?

Everything that is born has to perish, that has a beginning will have an end. The body is made up of five elements, combines with the macroscopic five elements and comes back again. Why worry about the inevitable natural law?

Who is that grieves? Joys and sorrows are in the mind in the form of thoughts due to the contact of the five sense organs with the external world or as memories or hopes. These thoughts do not last for ever, also the pain in life is not our choice. When we have to go through them, we might as well accept them AS IS instead of grieving.

The mind that is agitated due to joy and sorrow is not ready for the higher pursuit. Therefore how we respond to the given situation to the physical and mental challenges could be monitored and avoided for sorrow saps our energy obstructing our higher pursuit. If it is going to prevent us from reaching for higher pursuit, then why grieve?

Finally, the real never perishes and the unreal never is. Why should we given them undue reality and suffer?

Accept life AS IS and know the real is ever present and do not grieve for the unreal temporary things and existence is the theme. Not to hold on to sorrow is the sign of wisdom.

The words “giant” and “giants” appears twenty-one times in the Bible, and are used in three specific connotations. The first one is a rare one, appearing in Job 13:14: gibbor, or “a powerful warrior, a champion; chief, mighty man, strong man, giant.” The meaning also stretches to include “tyrant.” Its adjective form is gibber, “valiant.”

The next word is the most commonly used rapha. It gives the idea of an invigorated physical strength. The primary root of rapha figuratively denotes “to cure, (to cause to) heal, repair, or thoroughly make whole.” It is familiar to us when taken in the name Raphael that is literal for “God has cured.” The term Rephaim, or Rephaites, is a frequent sight in the Old Testament. This noun singles out a race of giant people living in the Promised Land before the Chosen Race took over. With the King James Version, an interplay of translation takes place with Rephaim being the general term to speak of the Giant race during Moses’ time.

The third and last word appears two times: one occurring before Moses, the other after his death. It is the noun Nephilim, from the verb naphal that means “to fall down,” and “fall away.” However, the richness of meaning includes the following: “to overthrow, to overwhelm, perish; to be lost, to make rot; slay, smite out, or throw down.” It also suggests “a fugitive.” The meanings present a rather violent image of these creatures, but the passage in Genesis 6:4 highlights them as “the heroes of old, men of renown” (New International Version).

A good number of ancient cultures around the world spoke of a race of giants that once walked the earth: the Vikings believed in such, magic-wielding, instrumental in creating the earth and founding the human race; the Celtic druids called them “fomors,” the enemies of the high gods of the heavenlies; the mythical history of England begins with a giant named Albion. The ancient Greeks spoke of a race of immortal giants called Titans that mingled with humans. Classicist Edith Hamilton described them as a “splendid race of godlike heroes”

(Edith Hamilton, Mythology, Mentor Books: New York, 1969; p. 69).

Myth is what we call the above examples, and thus we are tempted to drag the Biblical account into the realm of the unreal along with them. Furthermore, history documents some

deliberate exaggerations of the vanquished to capitalize the victor. Giants throughout history were the most convenient myth the conqueror used to illustrate the antagonists who populated his exploits. The ones he bested became the testament of his supremacy. His people rising to formidability by taking the niche of the enemy. Those who defeated him, however, would spawn a fearful report to extenuate his failure. The report about Giants also had degrees of success in intimidating and deterring plans of invasion or the immediate auspicious fruition thereof.

Yet the Giants of Genesis 6:4 remained unconquered until their decimation in the Great Flood. The writer seemed to have inserted this brief information about the Giants in his

fascination, which also set the beginning and the pinnacle of their existence. The reason for their demise is found in the verse before 6:4 and somewhere after:

“And the LORD said, ‘My Spirit shall not strive with man forever for he is indeed flesh; yet his days shall be one hundred and twenty years’ (6:3). Then the LORD saw

the wickedness of man was great in the earth, and that every intent of the thoughts of his heart was only evil continually. And the LORD was sorry that He had made man on the earth,

and He was grieved in His heart. So the LORD said, ‘I will destroy man whom I have created from the face of the earth…'” (vv. 5-7, The New King James Version).

Evilness is destructive to the one who wields it. One who takes an evil path takes a path to his own destruction — and this is a wide path. According to Christ: “broad is the road that leads to destruction, and many enter through it” (Matthew 7:13, New International Version).

And the “many” who “enter through” the broad road do not do so by predestination. The Book of Proverbs cites the scenario that was common in the antediluvian society: “for their feet rush into sin, they are swift to shed blood (1:16). These men lie in wait for their own blood; they waylay only themselves! (v.18)” The reason why the Bible teaches against it is because good and evil is a matter of choice. The antediluvian race made theirs.

Then were the Giants and their contemporaries killed off by an evil God, for Genesis 5:7 did document His very words: “I will destroy man…”? With this seems an irreconcilable stalemate of interpretation. Luckily, the Bible interprets itself, and is independent of our ideas. How does God “destroy”? In teaching His disciples the digested version of the Jewish prayer, Christ mentioned, “And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil”

(Matthew 6:13, King James Version). Two things in this verse mean the same: “lead” and “deliver”; and evil a place or condition. For too long our image of the Living God has been

tainted with that of the Classical and the Renaissance who wields spears of lightning and thunder. The Living God does not author death or destruction; much less is He evil.

According to a number of Bible interpreters, the mode used in “I will destroy man” was a permissive one in that it basically meant, “I will allow man to be destroyed.” Saint Paul

the Apostle, writing to the believers in Rome wrote a lengthy account of man’s descent to destruction in Romans 1:18 to 32, using the phrase “God gave them up” two times, and “God gave them over” once.

With this principle of exposure, or “backing-off,” the Apostle Paul lays out the modern Church policy regarding an obstinate member bound to destroy himself and others in the process: “In the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, when you are gathered together…with the power of our Lord Jesus Christ, deliver such a one to Satan for the destruction of the flesh, that his spirit may be saved in the day of the Lord Jesus” (I Corinthians 5:4-5).

In this way mythologist Edith Hamilton was correct when she wrote of the rise and fall of a “Brazen Race,” Titans who “were terrible men, immensely strong, and such lovers of war and

violence that they were completely destroyed by their own hands” (Hamilton, p. 69).

So then why do we have ambivalence with a heroic yet evil race of Giants? The answer goes back to Genesis 4:2 when “man began to call on [publish] the name of the Lord.” The Earth at

this period was polarized into two opposing forces: the House of Adam and that of Cain, the Bible’s first murderer. After Abel’s death, God pronounced judgment on Cain to live a life

of a restless wanderer (Genesis 4:12, 13). His ability to tame crops and grain, since he was a farmer (4:2), was shunned by the ground at God’s edict. He went to a place east of Eden

called Nod where he began to raise a family for himself. With this family, in this land of Nod, Cain built the first city mentioned in the Bible. The banishment of Cain from the presence of God (Genesis 4:14) made it clear that his house must never be allied with that of Adam’s.

But it appeared that in Genesis 4:17 to 18 Cain’s house continued to invoke the authority of God in the names Mehujael (“God-smitten”) and Methusael (“God’s man”). There are several

interpretations to this. Some teach that in spite of their original blemish in God’s sight, there were individuals who cast their lots with the House of Adam (or “the Sons of God”) and were thus blessed with the blessing of the righteous. Others advocate that suffixing God’s name, “El,” into their was nothing more than an affront to holiness. The most sensible

theories to this, however, state that the Cainite house was copying Adamite practices in an attempt for alliance with the Adamites and to invite others into their fold.

The world at this time was ruled by the Adamites, and such authority it had with Adam. Adam was the father of the human race, the first man to ever walk the earth; and he was called

“the son of God” (Luke 3:37). He was the authority that showed the way to the heart of the Creator. He established the tradition of holiness, and his family propagated it. The

credibility of the Adamite house was a fortress. Cain, on the other hand, had nothing but a small huddled group east from the presence of God. His family was withering away and struggling against a vast threat of survival, and he knew nothing to live according to but to his father’s ways, which were now rendered irrelevant after his murder of Abel. The first thing Cain did: propose an alliance with the Adamites. After all, it had been two generations past since that incident with Abel (Genesis 4:25-26), Cain thought that maybe it was time for forgiveness. But the matter of the curse he received from God (Genesis 4:12)

was irreversible for the first bloodshed of an innocent had begun to corrupt the earth. Furthermore, by expelling Cain from the Adamite house, God was establishing the principle of

purging by which He has been known to demand of His people, from storing and eating yeast during the Passover (Exodus 11:15; Deuteronomy 16:4), to rebelliousness against parental

authority (Deuteronomy 21:21), to kidnapping (24:7), to unlawful sexual acts (Leviticus 20), to blasphemy (24:16), to murder (v.17).

But Cain’s scheme was two-pronged. Knowing that his proposal to attach his family to the great Adamites was problematic, he began to “call on the name of the Lord.” “Call on” properly translates “to proclaim,” which means that Cain and his family began to preach what the Adamites had been preaching. By this act, people were deceived into believing that an alliance did already exist between Adam and Cain. A false anointment of credibility suddenly lured people to him and his power increased. Thousands of years later, this trick would rear its head when St. Paul encountered a fortune-telling girl who followed him around shouting promotions about his message (Acts 16:16 to 17). Paul, knowing that she was possessed by an evil spirit, spoke and commanded it to leave her. Why did he do this despite the promotion? Because as soon as Paul would leave the place (Philippi), she–or the spirit–would take over the preaching. What was foiled here, was consummated by Cain.

In a short span of four generations, the Cainites had gained numerous advantages over the level of survival. The reward of proper pampering brought health and beauty to shape the prosperity and credibility they have acquired. Then, Genesis 6:2 steps in. The young restless Adamites, or “sons of God,” just as deceived as the rest of the world in believing that these beautiful “daughters of men” were one with them, fell in love and chose them in marriage. Cain’s re-incorporation to the Adamite house was realized. From the intermarriage, the Giants were born. They were a product forged by time and deceit, Cain’s victory. In his death, the Giants proceeded to dominate, and their legends took over the world.

It was long ago, when the skies were wrapped with waters, and the Earth was friendlier than today. It was the Antediluvian Age, the time before the Great Flood.

OUR world changed on Tuesday, July First, Twenty Fourteen, about 11 Ante Meridiem. Dread surged through our hearts, when, as the doctor’s demeanour took on a teary sternness, he sat forward to deliver devastating news – “… I am so very sorry… you will need to be strong for each other… it will be a long journey.” Our baby was growing fine, but internal organs were horribly misplaced due to a congenital diaphragmatic hernia – liver high, heart transposed, no room for lungs to develop, kidneys incredibly enlarged, and nothing that could be done.

The experience leaving the ultrasound rooms that day was cataclysmic – nobody should experience what we experienced. We didn’t know where to look. We felt like imposters. Riddled with a sense of numbed doom in the place of the hope and joy we had only an hour previous. I recall being livid that I couldn’t protect my wife who was a torrential mess, as we negotiated the mess of construction works around the new medical centre. It wasn’t the workers’ fault; how were they to know? That, we had just received news nobody is ever ready to receive. Still, I wished I could have barked, “Get out of our way!”

The journey home was surreal – something you never forget. Our then 15-month-old son was whimpering, having discerned something was very wrong; Mum and Dad in tears in the front. We remember being astounded that he picked up our emotions so intuitively. The rest of the day was unreal, as were the next few days, though God’s Presence was somehow there with us, empathising, in our resigned sense of numbness; a truth-filled hopelessness all-too-real in our reality.

That day, a day etched in our memory, we entered a horrendous four-month waiting game, book-ended by the day we learned our horrific news and by the day our baby was born.

Back on day one, we waited for what seemed an eon for our private obstetrician to get back to us about what to do. He phoned only a few hours later; he was so very sad for us. He referred us to the specialist obstetric service at our major public hospital. The few days we had to wait seemed much longer than just a couple of days. As I look back I think we were in such a state of shock. During such a time people would outstrip us with their spoken thoughts when we simply needed them to be there for us – no words, no spoken thoughts, nothing.

On July Fourth, Sarah had another scan and an amniocentesis, which was a test to determine if there were other abnormalities in our baby – especially chromosomal abnormalities. That waiting game was a two-week roller coaster, and, truth be told, we were anxious all the way through it – each and every day. We got the ‘short results’ within a few days; no abnormalities were detected – such relief! But then it sunk in that we still had the long results to come. Anything could still happen. The sick irony was, even at the last gasp, we thought everything was okay, having had the all-clear earlier on Friday, July Eighteenth. That was until about 4.30pm. This was the moment the full results were finally known. Sarah took the call, her parents were there, and I was out getting Sarah flowers. We will never forget, about 5pm, sitting stunned at the end of our bed. Like, what just hit us? Moments like this you cannot shake a mind that will not let go of the new information – not for days!

Our baby was diagnosed with Pallister-Killian Syndrome (PKS), an incredibly rare twelfth chromosomal condition affecting only a few hundred people in the world. Our baby’s case was complicated by the internal organ issues. Both conditions together compounded our case. Our baby was defying the limits just living and growing. It was the direst prognosis. And PKS, it needs to be recognised, is generally a much worse condition than, say, Down Syndrome. Most people with PKS never walk or talk, and many are profoundly intellectually disabled.

So our hopes suffered another death that very moment. The more we researched PKS, the more our hopes plummeted. Yet, we were still preparing for a life-changing moment. We really did feel very raw and vulnerable, but we knew the worst was still ahead. And, yet, through this cauterising season, God provided for us through contact with the PKS community both locally and globally – relatively small but tight-knit groups. I met dozens of PKS parents online and we met one PKS family in our home city (whom we were quickly friends with). For all the questions we had, they had the best answers. They knew more than the medicos. Their love and the love and prayers of many others from within our church community and beyond helped. We felt carried. We dearly did.

August was a very terrible month if I recollect it properly. There was another serious issue going on in our lives related to my employment (which we are not at liberty to discuss; which we were at a loss to understand – especially at such a time as this), and this, along with the events that would occur related to the pregnancy, pushed us to the limit, physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually. I was thankful for my writing as a way to solace with God some of what I was processing. We thanked God that our baby was still safe within the womb, and felt all we could do was trust God in the midst of our grief. We were in the throes of a grief observed. During this time we were learning new things all the time. Sarah certainly learned about the negative power in such an innocent question – (being asked with a smile) “Are you pregnant?” You don’t realise how many people bring up the matter of pregnancy until you find you are in a position where you don’t want to talk about it. Sarah would respond, “Yes, I am pregnant, but we are not expecting a good outcome.” It would turn many moments south. But most people understood.

We noted during this time, in the ambiguity of this grief, the fact that our only real need was love – that we had everything we needed, which didn’t make things easy, just easier. We continued to pray. And many others prayed for us. It was enough considering nothing could be done but wait this out and step each day forward in faith. And yet, there was a source of cruelling anguish in us for the lack of love we received from one entity very important to us. We were at our most vulnerable, yet such a dearth of care was experienced in one quarter that still defies our sensibility. But such a dichotomy only proved to steel our faith. And, now, this very situation God has used; it has caused us to dig deeply to forgive that element. God is so good.

It was actually early in August that we learned that our baby, in the words of our Professor obstetrician, deserved “comfort and respect.” We had to grapple with hard things that are difficult, if not impossible, to understand – our baby would not survive. We met the paediatrician once, and he, along with the infant loss coordinator, took us through what to expect at the birth. It was a teary meeting. Our son would probably just gasp for breath and pass away within thirty minutes. He was given a five percent chance of lasting hours to a day. The medical team would not do anything “heroic.” They were talking about our baby here! There was quite a sense of rage within us, but we felt tempered by an acceptance we could only thank the Holy Spirit for.

We were finally in a position to send out a letter to our church family – locally and globally – with our heartbreaking news. We urged everyone to continue to pray. And we received so much support. On the day we learned that our baby wouldn’t survive (August Sixth) I wrote an Ode to Our Ailing One. And yet, we were still standing, observing – even, for me, marvelling – at the storm clouds as they slowly, even benignly, formed off in the distance, set later for mass deluge; a flooding cyclonic destruction. The hardest days were still some time away. And, still, there were some moments to reflect over the fact that our baby would be healed in eternity with comparatively little pain to be experienced in this life. At this time we would often find our heads and hearts in heaven. Heaven was the only solace.

All through this period I was wondering, though it was hard, why it was also so comparatively easy. I had experienced this anguish before, and God had taught me to endure it by enduring it. That, and people’s prayers, and the veracity of our faith. But I could see how being scorched by the Refiner’s Fire eleven years ago had helped in that day. It made me who I was now.

Because of our baby’s condition, there was a hyper-production of amniotic fluid. Sarah would need multiple amnioreduction procedures. Sarah had her first amnioreduction procedure (the first of eight) on August Twelfth – at 25 weeks gestation. These procedures involved the medical team inserting a needle into Sarah’s womb under ultrasound and draining two litres and more each time; a process taking an hour or more. More than once the needle came into contact with our baby – and once it drew blood! We sincerely prayed the baby would not come, which, by the very nature of the procedure, threatened to bring labour on. Each procedure was stressful, yet by God’s grace we took it in our stride. Sarah looked as though she was almost full term already due to the extra amniotic fluid our baby was producing. Sarah was always very brave during these procedures.

Peculiarly, I recall God saying to me, routinely, by September, “Steve, I’m giving you just enough time to do everything.” I found this very encouraging, because I knew all we could do was plan and prepare – this we could do. I (and we) were not going to fail this moment; the most important of our lives to date. We were not going to go A.W.O.L. when we needed to be there for each other as the doctor had urged us to do.

Throughout late August until Nathanael Marcus was finally born, still, we took every opportunity we could to take him out on dates as a family. We loved the thought of spending time – the four of us. It was all we could do. We did what we could.

The clouds on the horizon were darkening all the time through September and we feared the storm was imminent. All along we felt that, not always realising we were actually in the midst of the storm already. About this time, we received the “palliative care plan” for our unborn child – yes, unconscionable; a palliative care for an unborn child.

By September’s end, we were ready I think – ready in our minds and ready in our hearts. And that was fortunate, for there was another storm about to roll in – a project God had earmarked us for – even in the abyss of life as it was for us. I was quickly reminded, and often, through October, when I was running the household, those earlier words of the LORD: “I’m giving you just enough time to do everything, Steve.” Now those words took on a special significance. Those days in October were difficult to fathom; that such a need had arisen in another family that God had called us to help pastorally within. A desperate situation for all concerned. A situation of anguish for those we had come to love as our own. Only God could orchestrate within us the grace to avail ourselves to this. So we had not just this issue of heartrending grief to deal with, but an inane occupational issue, and an urgent pastoral issue as well – three-in-one, a trinity of tribulation, with God’s grace still so sufficient to hold us! Amazingly, we still had the sense that God had ordained this very season – all of it.

Early during this month we also had the opportunity to sow into our impending pain. It was too easy to be annoyed with people who superimposed their own lens for grief over our own. We were being real and occasionally people did actually get it; what we were going through. Again, there was much cause for grace for those who didn’t or couldn’t understand where we were at. We desired affirmation and encouragement, not pity or advice. When all was said and done, we simply hoped forward to the time we would finally meet our son alive. To meet him alive was our extant and exigent hope.

God was still readying our hearts as we approached the birth. We were introduced to the song that meant most to us at this time. As we reflected over the fact that grief had chosen to visit us again, we still found comfort in song, in Scripture, in prayer, and in each other. It Is Well took on profound meaning for us; that sadness and grief is the very key into the heartway of God.

Throughout this time, as some sort of compensation, even a form of healing in advance, God continued to birth in me ideas related to brokenness and grief and reflection, among other things. I’m thankful for the encouragement of others at what God was giving me to write on. I’d been writing on brokenness and grief for years, and suddenly I was finding my experience aligned with my theology – a revelation for affirmation. This brought immense comfort, relief and peace. What I believed and practiced and wrote about was real and my faith was operant.

The final weeks and days of this four-month journey God continued to hold us as we continued daily to trust in him, despite the wind and waves that incredulously still know and bow to Jesus’ name. God can still calm those winds and waves as he was doing for us.

***

Nathanael was stillborn silently sometime on the Thursday afternoon, October Thirtieth. He died due to cord prolapse somewhere between 3.30pm and 6.30pm. The moment the midwife told us, at 6.30pm, was surreal. I just don’t know how to describe it. It was probably the worst moment of all. I skated between solacing the midwife whose disposition changed markedly, hugging a grief-stricken Sarah for minutes at a time, and wrestling with my own emotions. That was one moment that seemed unreal – as I look back – even though my experience of it, at the time, felt never realer. No sooner had scans been done to verify what we already knew, Sarah started to spike a fever; infection was rapidly tearing through her body. They injected three different intravenous antibiotics into Sarah as the situation became critical over one half hour. I swabbed Sarah’s forehead with wet towels as she shivered and I genuinely worried that I’d lose her. An emergency caesarean section was ordered.

The caesarean section was, like most things at this point, surreal. It was a moment where I prayed, “God, give me the strength for what I’m about to experience; to meet my deceased son.” The staff assisting us were either awkward, distant or gentle with us. I chose to simply relate with each of them as real as I could. Sarah was still quite ill. God gave me strength to stay actively in the moment and not think too much. I later recorded my reflections on actually meeting Nathanael.

***

We had 179 hours with Nathanael. We made every moment count. We made little videos and took lots of photographs. We held his little lifeless body as much as we could and had him present in the room with us as much as possible. One of my favourite photos was one Sarah took from her bed as I cradled Nathanael in my arms on the hospital room floor. All our family came to see us in hospital. Heartfelt gave us the most astonishing gift – professional photoshoot and professionally produced photos at no cost with lots of love.

Nathanael’s funeral was arduous for Sarah. I broke down most when the hearse left the church; such sorrow that he really was gone now. But I felt unbelievably real throughout – full of God’s strength for the moment. It was not hard for me to be there for others as I normally would have been. I felt so privileged to share a eulogy for Nathanael. A formal goodbye is so dignifying, and everyone who attended honoured not only Nathanael’s memory, but they honoured us as a family. After the ceremony, when everyone had left, we went home. I put Sarah into bed and I took my children (the remaining four) out for lunch. Sarah and I had a quiet weekend and following week. The week following we went away thanks to the generosity of good friends.

***

Our shining gift of God was born on an incredibly special day – another sign among the many that God was with us – and his birthday reminds us, evermore, of a special person we love who we also interceded for, because it was his birthday this day, too.

I wrote a few articles with Nathanael Marcus cradled in my arms. We endured those days as if we were carried. We just did what we could. We kept stepping by faith. And God gave us people to love us and to uphold us in prayer. It wasn’t as hard as one might think. But, for what we experienced, the memories never vanish.

Now, one year on, there is a loneliness in my heart for the richness of God’s Presence in that cavernous place, and of others’ love back then. Strangely, I miss those days. And I thank God that we felt carried through them. And, as I said many times during the past year, believing – God is good. As for the future, we feel equipped for a future storm, yet we will inevitably be found wanting enough to need to rely fully on God.

That, I praise God for.

© 2015 S.J. and S.J. Wickham and family.

Goddess of Mercy is probably one of the most prominent and popular Buddhist and Taoist divinity worshipped and revered by people all over the world, especially those from Chinese background. In most Taoist temples, it is very common to find the portrait of Goddess of Mercy and alongside the portrait, there is invariably a couplet of poem which says, “In the middle of the purple bamboo woods lies ‘Kuan Zhi Zai’ (Goddess of Mercy is there). On top of the white lotus pedestal sits the coming Buddha (Ru Lai).”

This poem relates to the portrait of Goddess of Mercy which portrays her standing on top of the white lotus pedestal or sitting leisurely among the bamboo grove. According to the legend she spent most of her time in the bamboo grove but this is just a literal interpretation of the poem. The portrait only draws Goddess of Mercy and no other Buddha and since the poem is placed beside the portrait, there must be deeper meaning that serves to enlighten people. The poem is a parable used to reveal one of the heavenly secrets that relates to our face, more specifically The Third Eye. The purple bamboo grove or woods in Chinese is “lin” and it implies a growth of vegetation that is not very dense. Purple bamboo is a type of bamboo which is very thin and elegant. On our face our eyebrows bear similar characteristics to the purple bamboo grove. They are very fine and orderly, unlike our hair. She revealed that the purple bamboo grove represents our eyebrows.

The first half of the poem is “In the middle of the purple bamboo grove lies Goddess of Mercy” which means that our own Buddha nature or Godly nature is there in the middle of the purple bamboo grove or in between the eyebrows. In other words, we must constantly see our true self and act in accordance with our true nature. In order to do this, we must seek to find this divine nature that is located in the middle of the purple bamboo grove or more specifically in between the eyes or eyebrows. This directs us to the very location of The Third Eye or The Divine Eye. Her forehead is always depicted with a red dot slightly above the middle of her eyebrows to indicate to us that there is a Third Eye similar to Indian women who placed the red dot on their foreheads.

Let us look at the latter half of the poem, “On top of the white lotus pedestal sits the coming Buddha.” Lotus grows above the surface of the muddy water and Goddess of Mercy is usually portray standing on it and appears to be floating on the sea. This sea represents the sea of desires and sufferings. On our face, the mouth is also the sea of desires and is like an ocean that can never be filled up. The saliva is alkaline and tastes bitter, thus similar to sufferings. The shape of the lips is like the wave of the sea. Above the lips, we have a groove that is defined by two lines and it is like the stem of the lotus. At the end of the stem, we would be able to find the lotus which is our nose. On elevation, the nose appears to have three distinct petals, similar to the petals of the flower. When we smile, our white set of teeth resembles the white lotus that Goddess of Mercy is standing on.

On top of the white lotus sits the coming Buddha (ru lai in Chinese). Gautama Buddha used to say that, “on every face there is a Buddha.” This implies that if we want to find our own Buddha on our face, we must solve this puzzle. The True Self which is divine is the one that is sitting on top of the white lotus pedestal. It is the coming Buddha that needs to be awakened. Upon initiation of Tao, this True Self is awakened and can become the Buddha or The Enlightened One. He is sitting there on top of the white lotus pedestal which is also the spot where the first part of the poem explains. Both parts of the poem point to this divine nature to the spot where we called The Third Eye or The Divine Eye. Why is the Third Eye so important and what is the meaning of initiation of Tao? During the transmission of Tao, it is transmitting The Three Heavenly Treasures to the recipient and this is what my Heavenly Teacher JiGong said:

“What the teacher has transmitted to you is the essence of the Three Heavenly Treasures – that leads one to Realization. What the teacher teaches is Truth and Supreme Learning – that leads one to Sainthood. What the teacher avoids and regards as harmful to the cultivation of Tao is the emphasis on ‘Shu-Liu-Dong-Jing’ – that leads one to Fanaticism. What the teacher denounces and disapproves is fallacies and faulty teachings – that leads one to Delusion.

“Shu-Liu-Dong-Jing” means the teaching of the Four Side Doors, practices done with skills and intent. They are not natural ways of cultivation and cannot help liberate oneself from the cycle of births and deaths. They are:

1] Shu: special skills – supernatural powers, witchcraft and all extraordinary skills.

2] Liu: various schools or groups that focus in geomancy (feng-shui), astrology, fortune-telling, crystal-reading, art of healing, temple-building and discussion of philosophies etc.

3] Dong: motion – external practice involving physical movements such as alchemy, martial arts, massage, etc.

4] Jing: quietness – internal practice involving the use of INTENT such as observation of energy flows, chakra-alignment, counting of breathing, seeking wellness or wonders through quiet-sitting etc.

Hence, a Tao cultivator must have:

1] A mind of Wisdom – to discern and detect the real and unreal.

2] A heart of Humanity – to receive and accept the self-renewed ones (those who wish to correct themselves and be new persons)

3] A spirit of Courage: to save and carry the sunk and lost ones (the ignorant) across the bitter sea of life.”

I was in the navy for 8 years, and I’ve had food from navy destroyers, aircraft carriers, submarine tenders, and shore duty galleys.

When a ship is in port, it always had plenty of fresh food on board. Right before a ship pulls out to sea, it is replenished with new food and drink.

If you going to be out to sea for a while, you will start to lose some of the things on board you take for granted. Fresh milk is usually one of the first things to go. They substitute it with powdered milk, and it does not even come close to real milk.

Don’t get me wrong, the food on the ship is actually pretty good, and you get plenty of it!

When you are in port, you have access to the freshest foods the navy has, just like your hometown grocery store pretty much.

When you wake up in the morning, you go down to the galley, and get in the chow line. There might be 10 guys in line by the time you get down to eat, and breakfast is usually served most of the morning, because not everyone can eat at the same time, and it would be over crowded then. On smaller ships, like destroyers and frigates, you usually would have 4 meals a day. Breakfast, Lunch, Dinner and Mid Rats, a small meal that make around midnight for people that are still hungry, and want something to eat.

On the destroyer I was stationed on, we would also regularly have cook outs right on the fantail. We always had a 55 gallon drum that was cut in half, and someone from the Supply Department would be frying cheeseburgers, and that was always nice, even out in the middle of the Indian Ocean, we would be having a cook out.

For breakfast, you can usually order your eggs to order, there will be a cook or 2, that take requests for how you want your eggs made, they had a rule not over 5 eggs, I usually only had 2 most of the time, and I would tell them I want a ham & cheese omelet with 2 eggs, and then after I get my eggs, I move down the chow line, and get whatever else I want to go with that, bacon, sausage, just like a small buffet really.

Usually on Fridays, if we were in port, we would have steak and lobster tails on Fridays. I never even really had a lobster tail until I joined the navy. My dad never liked sea food when I was a kid, so we never had it in our house.

Lunch and dinner were usually like a buffet also, just about anything they had, was a line of good food, and you take what you want, and you can always get a new tray and go back in line again, if you are that hungry.

The aircraft carrier I was on, was actually way too big of a ship for me, and I was so glad I only had to stay on it for 2 weeks. There food was good also, and it had 2 galleys, so that one was always open, if the other closed for cleaning or whatever reason.

When you have roughly 5,000 people on board, you better have a place for them to eat all the time, just like a casino, if the ship had slot machines on it, it would be pretty close to the same atmosphere of a buffet.

When I was in transit somewhere out in the Indian Ocean, I had to go to Saudi Arabia to get on a flight to Italy, and a helicopter flew me and about 5 other enlisted guys out to this USNS ship, and we were supposed to just ride the ship for 2 days, until we got off the ship. They had an enlisted 1st class yeoman that had his own stateroom, which on a regular navy ship, just the officers get.

This was a USNS ship, which meant it had civilian workers, and the navy personnel was support for them. When we ate in their dinning room each day, a waiter would come to our table, and he would take your order. I thought to myself, you have to be kidding me, these guys are wearing civilian clothes, and a waiter is taking their order, and I can’t even believe this is real. They give you a choice of 2 selections, sort of like on an airplane, and they bring you ice cream as dessert, and I thought that was unreal.

Most of the civilians on that boat were not cool like the navy guys, probably because they thought the navy worked for them, which on that ship, they sure did, and I could think of several ways to save the navy a boat load of money!

Submarines get some of the best food in the fleet. They guys are under water sometimes for so long, and could you imagine if they did not have good food?

They have a drink they call bug juice, which is really Kool-aid or a fruit punch drink. You better get used to drinking bug juice, if you like something to drink with your meal, after the fresh milk runs out.

Here is one of the craziest things I’ve witnessed on the ship, and every ship does it! It is such a waste of good food, but I guess you can see how it does protect the states from pests and bugs, but does it really?

When ever you are going out to sea far, you usually stop by Hawaii to get new stores, as they call it, which means you are stocking up the ship with fresh food and meat and stuff like that.

As you travel the world, and then are returning, before you stop by Hawaii, you have to throw all the food that could have any chance of having any type of bug from another country in it, so we have a working party, of maybe 20 guys, and the job is to make a line from the food refrigerators, which a ship has several decks of them, all with elevators to make it all together, and we unload all the food, 50 pound bags of brand new onions, lots and lots of them, big boxes of lettuce, lots of boxes of it.

We throw just about everything this is left in the coolers overboard into the ocean, and all the guys just can’t believe we are throwing all this good food overboard, and we bet a lot of sharks are following the ship, and can you imagine how much food an aircraft carrier would throw over board. An aircraft carrier has a place on the back of the ship for throwing trash into the ocean, but only when you are out 50 miles or more to sea, so it does not wash up on the shore, and so many things are thrown in the ocean, besides food. You can sit and smoke a cigarette, and just watch all the people that have trash to throw in the ocean, pretty bizarre in a way, but you can’t have it pile up on the ship.

I would have to say overall, the food in the navy is good, maybe even great, I would of never thought it would be as nice and plentiful as it was, and some days after being out of the navy, I swear their spaghetti is still the best I ever had in my life!

How do you make kids sit down to learn at home? How do parents teach the higher grades? Won’t homeschoolers miss out on socialization? Will it affect their character and social skills? What if I start homeschooling my child after primary school?

Homeschoolers are asked these questions all the time.

I wish I could offer a cut-and-dried response to these common queries put to homeschoolers. There isn’t (simply because every home is different) although it’s probably safe to say that there are some commonalities across the board. Also, there are no perfect situations, only opportunities. Parents who educate their own children at home hope and pray their kids will turn out well. The truth is the journey has only just begun. Our homeschooling kids are at different points and milestones along the way, and who they are or what they will become is just unfolding. So we’re all a work-in-progress -parents as well as their children – counted as `saints’ by our heavenly Father, yet saints in the making.

I think one of the biggest misconceptions about homeschool is that it is schooling’ that is carried out at home. The image therefore, is of a conventional classroom now scaled down but imported or adapted to the living room or kitchen table. Some parents have the idea that the one-on-one situation with mom as tutor and junior as student is an attractive proposition because, a) there’s going to be a lot of attention given to the student b) there’s going to be a lot more Junior will absorb in the personal tutoring process, and c) obviously, the potential for academic excellence is going to be greatly advanced.

Speaking as a former teen, that’s as much fun as a torture chamber. Why bother with homeschool then? Might as well stay in a conventional school.

It is possible that some families may homeschool this way (to each his/her own I say) but that’s not how I understand homeschooling to be, nor is this how it is practiced in the homes of most if not all homeschoolers I know. My own home would certainly be dismissed as a slacker’s paradise; parents who imagine homeschools to be a miniature academe peopled by diligent children sitting ramrod at their desks studying, will be sorely disappointed if they drop in our home for a visit!

In the first place, homeschooling is more than academic learning or formal scheduled study. It is providing a child a secure home to realize her potential holistically. It is equipping her for self-directed learning, training her to be resourceful and independent.

Seen this way, the homeschooling parent does not consider herself as a tutor but a facilitator. We’re seeking a balance. Life itself is one big classroom or a laboratory for creativity, discovery, a safe place for learning from one’s mistakes. Conventional schools with their over-emphasis on exams and books and tuition offer little time or space for self-discovery and imagination. The difference between a happy pre-school kid of 4 years and an anxious, bored, schooled kid of 7 years is staggering. Which is tragic considering how many great minds, inventors, and writers, owe their greatness not to hours of mugging but to playing and tinkering about while in their formative years as young children.

Certainly there are sit-down periods, but informal learning constitutes a significant part of a homeschooler’s education. Eventually the role of parents as their child’s facilitator is diminished until personal involvement is no longer necessary or a primary concern. Inculcating this attitude and outlook in a child when she is younger pays off when she grows older. Parents will quickly find that their initial fear of being unable to teach the ‘hard’ subjects becomes irrelevant because the homeschooled child will and often does surpass her tutor.

Taking a child out of school at 13 years to homeschool is not uncommon, but some parents admit to struggling with weaning the teen from an entrenched and usually peer-dependent lifestyle. A lot of families do succeed at ‘deschooling’ a child for home education but it entails more effort since you’re developing a new circle of friends at the same time as picking up a new learning culture.

Then there is the whole issue of learning styles and gender. Different children learn differently according to Howard Gardner’s (among others) multiple intelligences theory (Frames of Mind, 1983). Again, boys are psychologically and developmentally different from girls. Given these variables, parents do their children a great disservice when their idea of education is one-size-fits-all. It isn’t and it doesn’t. The good thing about homeschool is, a child gets to learn at her own pace and in her own style.

It should become clear by now that homeschooling is a radically different way of looking at learning. I often tell friends it is a whole new lifestyle requiring some drastic makeover in my expectations and value system. But what about socialization, people ask? Simple observation confirms that socialization in all its negative modes is precisely why our present schools and society are having so many problems. The right question ought to be, what kind of socialization do I want?

Homeschooling promotes positive socialization. It’s insulation (as opposed to isolation) during a child’s most impressionable years. And contrary to popular myths about homeschool, it takes place in a real world instead of the artificial one that is merely made up of children of the same age. In that unreal walled-up world called ‘school’ with its sterile classrooms, children wear the same uniform, read the same books, pick up the same bad habits and prejudices, conditioned by a system that rates their self-worth against exam marks, and discourages anything but conformity. Urgh. Then there’s that persistent interrupting bell that only Pavlov’s dog could love!

While this is going on, our homeschooling kids are reading a variety of books, getting involved with community service, interacting with people of different ages, building rafts and swimming in the river, traveling, hiking up Maxwell Hill by themselves, helping in the zoo, and participating in debates and mock trials. Sure, we families have to do it ourselves to make all this happen. But that’s where the pleasure lies! Above all as parents we have the time to provide a steadying influence, adult modeling, moderating and interpreting the challenges of life against an agenda set by other parties, institutions, and vested interests.

Finally, I wish I could conclude that homeschool is the answer to our educational and institutional ills. It is not. And it will not be for everybody. It may be that other families and children are doing well following conventional routes – national schools or private, international schools or learning centers.

But those of us who have chosen to educate our children at home believe it is the better way. It is more worthwhile embracing a radical alternative that matches the values we hold – including our love for God – which we hope to pass on to our children. We do this in the process of equipping them with skills to engage the world with more than paper credentials. It appears research is on our side, because homeschoolers are by and large academically above the national average, assimilate well into society, and are unafraid to march to the beat of a different drum.

Homeschool is a long way from becoming mainstream, at least not in Malaysia where I come from. But things are changing, and opportunities for tertiary education are already opening up. Technology and community resources are making education at home more and more viable and accessible. So should you homeschool? Can you homeschool? The question our family would ask is, why won’t you?

Those who struggle with anxiety often state they feel fatigued or depleted. They feel flat, exhausted, foggy and lightheaded. Feelings of depersonalization often appear as one becomes frustrated and caught up in the cycle of worry and fear.

There is a logical explanation for these sensations and also a way to overcome the exhausted and unreal state one is now experiencing.

Explanation is of primary importance.

Those who struggle with anxiety often state they feel fatigued or depleted. They also struggle with feelings of unreality and brain fog. This drained sensation is caused by the combination of:

1 – Constant release of adrenaline, in response to the habit of fearful thinking.

2 – A significant decrease in serotonin due to continuous stressful thought, worry and poor diet/nutrition.

This is why so many who struggle with anxiety often find themselves in a state of depletion, due to the overall release of adrenaline. Every worried thought triggers a mild release of adrenaline and every panicky thought an even greater release. It makes perfect sense that one would experience symptoms of adrenal fatigue and depersonalization after a period of time.

Other Triggers:

Generalized Stress
Unresolved Pressures and Issues
Stressful People and Situations
Improper Diet and Nutrition, Refined and Processed Foods
Skipping Meals
Lack of Sleep
Illness
Medication

There is a definite pattern that makes this easy to identify.

One Begins to Experience the Symptoms of:

Feelings of Exhaustion, especially in the early part of day.
Emotionally Flat
Lack of Appetite
Insomnia
Inability to Concentrate
Dizziness and Lightheaded
Hypoglycemic Reactions- Reactive to foods high in carbohydrates.
Feelings of Unreality and Fogginess- Symptoms of Depersonalization

Believe it or not, with the proper approach, these sensations of depersonalization and adrenal fatigue actually dissipate quite quickly. A few corrections in diet/nutrition and behavior will place one back on track and the result is the reconciliation of the above symptoms.

It is important to know how to naturally repair both mind and body from both adrenal fatigue and feelings of brain fog, stemming from adrenal fatigue.

It is Best to Avoid:

Refined and Processed Foods
Caffeine: Coffee, Tea, Sodas, Chocolate
Stressful People
Stress in General
Carbohydrates without proteins. (combination buffers action of carb)
Stimulating Foods and Medications

Healing Regimen:

Retrain the Brain: Learn to switch off stress and replace it with productive behaviors.
Turn off the Racing Mind: Give the depersonalized mind a chance to refresh. Mind Clearing works.
Recreational Therapy in Moderation: Mild outdoor activities that stimulate mind and body.
Anxiety Neutralizing Diet: Stabilizes Blood Sugar Levels, Non-Starchy Foods, Lean Proteins, Good Fats, Vegetables and Fruits.
Serotonin Boosting Diet: Helps body manufacture serotonin in the brain, naturally (Anxiety Neutralizing Diet)
Proper Sleep and Relaxation
4-5 Small Meals a Day
Never Skip a Meal
Use Sea Salt
Pure Water
Supplements: B Complex, Vitamin E, Vitamin C, Multiple Vitamin

The mind and body are able to recharge and rejuvenate. It is up to you to make these changes in order to allow it to do so. Self-nurturing is necessary, especially after one has stressed the system with constant thoughts of fear and worry. It’s time to break this habit, learn to retrain the brain, fuel the body with healthy foods and give both the mind and body a chance to refresh and revitalize.

This interview was done in the early 1990s. It was my wildest dream, an answered dream, even as a professional reporter.

Dark curly hair. Brooding eyes. Gravelly voice.

Women over thirty will probably recall introspective Pete Cochran of the early seventies hit ABC series MOD SQUAD. Michael Cole, the actor who portrayed Pete, is much different spiritually today than he was then.

Appearance-wise, however, one significant point is just as obvious. Amidst MOD SQUAD‘s five year run, Michael was in a serious car accident. His eyelid was nearly severed from his face; surgery saved it but an obvious scar remained. Girls across America sighed in relief and dreamed anew of his weathered face.

Today, the face is even more weathered; the build medium, seesawing between middle-aged and toned; the dark hair – streaked with gray – still curly. The voice is unchanged. He wears glasses.

Those once-dreaming teens who sighed over him are now adults with lives no longer centered around the fantasy of Michael Cole, and he’s long been aware of that.

“I got into trouble [afterward],” he admitted. “It was unreal to have nothing, then say, ‘I want that house,’ and be able to buy it.” The squint to his eye became more obvious as got into his thoughts. Now, however, his words opened on deeper scars, invisible to sight but obvious to the ear. “Everything bad was my fault. I blame no one else.

“I started in acting school working in plays. The stage was my bedroom.” He laughed, and his eyes lit up as he went into a long dissertation on how he literally lived on the stage for many years. “Then I went to Las Vegas. I met Paula there.” Paula Kelly was once a member of The Modernaires, a talented singer, and the woman who become Mrs. Michael Cole.

“She was beautiful. I was shy.” His grin was lopsided; his squint deepened. He looked like a big kid. The mention of Paula, the woman he married, the mother of his adored daughter, brought a softness to his voice and made his face light up.

His ideas moved so fast. Next, he was discussing his stardom. “MOD SQUAD was a groundbreaker. There were always mailbags in the hall outside Aaron Spelling’s office.” He leaned over the table to stare at his hands. His forefingers and thumbs made a triangle, the rest spread evenly – a thinking gesture. “It changed lives. I remember a letter from a girl on drugs, she was a hooker. Because of our show, she became a social worker.” So many years later, the thought still made him emotional.

A faceless kid helped towards a better life by Michael Cole, at the time a young man who had it all. Yet he was ready to self-destruct. What followed were years of anger, confusion, and much drinking and senseless indulgence. How is it that he now owns a spacious hilltop home? Speaks often and liberally of spirituality and Christ’s meaning in his life?

The accident. He found God amidst his car accident. “It was on a slick spot on Laurel Canyon Freeway; we [he and Paula] hit the mountain. I went through the windshield twice.” That reminded him of the moments directly after, rushing to the hospital. “People were in and out of my room.”

He eyed his fingers, once again splayed. “After everyone left one night, I checked the mirror and knew it might be over.” He looked up with a slow grin. “Then I did this,” he showed how he covered the eye with one hand. “Thought maybe it’d be an interesting image.” He probably wasn’t really all that philosophical about losing an eye and his career. After the eye was saved, after MOD SQUAD, he floundered, guesting on episodic TV and doing plays across the country. He related one experience.

“We were in a small town at one time. The weather was bad, we didn’t know if we’d have an audience. But three old ladies were there, one celebrating her 80th birthday.” He ran a forefinger up the side of his nose, then readjusted his glasses. “At intermission, I had a stagehand get a dozen red roses. After the play, we had a party.” He stopped talking and breathed deep. His next words were thick. “We both cried. It’s still a special memory.”

How could a man who cries at a stranger’s party become hard-drinking and belligerent? “I was afraid. I remember waking in the middle of one night. Something real gripped me. Paula held me and it went away.” Love notwithstanding, Paula could only handle so much amidst such powerful emotions, and she eventually left him.

“She didn’t do anything wrong,” he was quick to assure, “it was me. She just couldn’t take anymore.”

Then came a long period where he did nothing. “Absolutely nothing. People started dying around me…my manager, my mother. Other people were worried, told me to go back to work, but it wasn’t time. I knew when it would be time.”

Michael reads avidly, quotes Dylan Thomas, the Bible, and other writings that have affected him. He quit school in the 10th grade, eventually returned but never finished college; yet he can speak with a scholar’s insight. For someone who did nothing for so long, his thoughts and words speak of a healthy spiritual life.

It’s been many years since each of the mentioned milestones happened in Michael Cole’s life. Despite everything that has tried to bring him down and pull him into despair, today he has peace of mind, a spiritual understanding of his life, and friendship with his ex-wife.

He showed me a sketch he had done on his wall, a cross with a humanistic flower object draped across it as Christ had been hung on the cross. Next to his sketch, he wrote, “This time, Father, they know what they do.”

“Yes,” he smiled as our interview came to a close, “all in God’s time, not ours. God gave me a gift, I wasted it for awhile, but no longer. I’m ready to begin to use it again.”

AUTHOR’S NOTE: This was one of my favorite of all interviews. Michael picked me up at a 7-Eleven at the foot of the long, winding road that went up to his beautiful, large home in the California foothills. He handed me into his dark-green, very expensive car and, as I closed the door, it got away from me and slammed.

“Hey!” he exclaimed as he got into his side. “Don’t do that!”

I apologized, explaining that it hadn’t been done on purpose. He was clearly very careful with his vehicle.

We arrived at his home, and he led me into the house, where we sat together at his dining table. He got me a diet soda, and then we talked. And talked. And talked. It was like a dam had burst.

Remember, this was a dream-come-true for me. Michael Cole had been my young girlhood perfect guy – and here I was as an adult, at his dining table, in his home, chatting with him as if we were long-time friends. Amazing!

When we finally finished talking, he allowed me to take his photo in front of his drawing on his wall.

But the most amazing part, really, beyond everything else…interview over, photos done – Michael Cole, the Michael Cole, wanted to cook me dinner. Yes, he wanted me to have dinner with him – and he was going to be the chef. Spaghetti, as a matter of fact. I thanked him for the offer and, for reasons I’ll never understand…I said, “No, thank you.”

Can you imagine?!