While outsiders tend to think of swinging in terms of “keys in the bowl” parties and actions, the overwhelming majority of swingers take more precautions than you think. Swingers are often criticized for their lack of concern for their safety and sexual health. But in an age where diseases can spread quickly, Swingers are taking the necessary precautions to ensure their safety and health is intact.

Think about this question for a minute: What is the difference between being a swinger and swapping partners with another couple and being single taking someone home from the bar for a one night stand?

In most cases, swingers are actually taking more precaution:

• Swingers often are members of private clubs where members have to apply to join.

• Swingers often meet the other couple before engaging in sexual activity.

• Swingers abide by pre determined rules before swapping partners.

• And, in many cases, swingers stick with the same few couples.

While there are still some obvious risks to swinging, swingers can reduce their chances of getting sexually transmitted diseases by taking the following precautions:

• Refrain from engaging in sex when under the influence

• Always use a condom

• Have good hygiene habits

• Get tested regularly and make sure your sex partners get tested as well

• Limit the number of partners you have

• Select other couples wisely

• Know the signs of STD’s and get treated immediately if you show signed.

Taking these precautions will greatly reduce your sexual health risks.

A second precaution that does not get enough attention is personal safety when engaging in swinging. Always be cautious when meeting new people or couples, especially if you meet them online.

Take your time and get to know them before you actually engage in swinging activities. It is a good idea to meet them in a public place. Meet at a coffee shop and talk about what you and your partner want to get out of the experience. Develop a personal relationship with couples. It is much safer to have a select few couples who you can trust than frequently swapping with many different couples.

Never, under any circumstance should you meet with another couple in an obscure area. Do not give out your personal information or agree to meet others at their home if it your first time meeting. You never know what can happen and you must take as many precautions as possible.

This is why swingers clubs are so valuable. Members are screened and you can experiment in a safe environment. Your risks are greatly reduced in swingers clubs.

While the swingers lifestyle does come with its health and safety risks, being responsible and taking the necessary precautions will ensure you can minimize the risk and embrace the lifestyle at your own pace.

In swinging there is a style of sexual activity to fit every occasion. There is no right or wrong style, it is just a matter of whatever is preferable to each couple, and choosing what works best for you:

SOFT SWINGING

Many couples choose soft swinging, also known as “soft swap” as a great way to begin exploring the Swinging Lifestyle. They feel that soft swinging allows them to add a little spice to their relationship without the risk of jealousy. Couples do not exchange partners at any time during the session because they prefer to keep actual intercourse between themselves, rather than sharing it with other people. Couples can have sex with their own partners while another couple is having sex in the same room, and at the same time. Soft swinging involves teasing, foreplay, and even oral sex with another couple before returning to your own partner for actual intercourse. These things are usually negotiated between the couples in advance. Soft swinging can also include girl on girl play only while the men watch.

OPEN SWINGING

Also known as “full swap – same room only”, this kind of swinging allows couples to swap partners and have sexual intercourse in the same room, and quite often in the same bed. Couples who prefer to be together at all times during sexual play will choose this type of swinging activity. The male will be with the female of the other couple and the female will be with the male of the other couple. Depending on choice of bisexuality, there can also be sexual contact between same sexes. One of the main benefits of open swinging is that because everything is done together for all the parties concerned there is no question of what is said or done.

Open swinging is also perfect for exhibitionists and voyeurs. It can be very erotic to both watch your partner receive pleasure from another, and to look up and see your partner watching you receive pleasure from another. Open swinging can also possibly lead to some variations of group sex and techniques that are not possible in closed swinging.

Many swingers find that open swinging allows for the total release of their sexual desires and fulfillment of fantasies. Because open swinging can only be successful when there is no jealousy demonstrated by any members of the group, it is usually only recommended for couples who have been swinging for some time.

CLOSED SWINGING

Also referred to “full swap – completely open”, this kind of swinging allows couples to swap partners and have sexual intercourse in separate rooms. Swingers who choose this type of activity for sexual play feel that it allows the freedom and privacy to “discover” their swinging partner in a deeper way without the distractions of another couple in the same room. Another benefit of closed swinging is that is allows the freedom to act out various fantasies without feeling like you are being watched. Closed swinging is usually practiced by couples who have been swinging for some time, and have built up enough trust and understanding between each other to make it an enjoyable and successful experience.

Of course, after you’ve tried a little swinging, you may want to share your amazing experiences with everyone you know. Unfortunately, not everyone will be as open as you. If you work in a conservative environment, or just want to maintain a little anonymity, then there are several ways to go about it.

If you’re going to clubs…

One of the main reasons that a lot of beginning swingers try out clubs is that there is a certain safety in numbers. If you’re there and they’re there, then you both are embracing swinging as a lifestyle or a fascination. And you are both in the same boat of wanting to have a great experience (or experiences) without feeling like your privacy has been invaded. Too much.

Another great aspect of a dark, smoky club is that many of the times; names are not exchanged, so you can have a wonderful time without even knowing who you were with. This might sound impersonal, but it’s a safety feature that’s built in. You might find that being anonymous is highly erotic and satisfying when you’re in the club situation. And you also won’t worry about running into anyone later with an awkward silence about who knows who.

Maybe you’ll see someone at the local grocery store. Just nod, smile, and keep moving to the milk section. Keep your name for a while until you feel that there’s a special connection between you and another couple or person. You want to take your time to feel trust and security within your swinging group. And if you find someone that you like?

Meeting with another couple in a public place at first will help you determine if you’re all ready to trust each other. Meet in a non-sexual environment to see how you interact before you jump into bed (or other places) with each other.

When you’re online…

With swinging dating services now available at the touch of a keyboard, you are launched into the faceless world of online dating. But this can be a great start for a new swinger. Not only can you choose whether or not to reveal your name and picture, but you can also take your time in determining if a person is right for you. You can ask questions over the secure servers available, or email anonymously.

Using one of those free email accounts is best. Keep this playtime separate.

And if you’re not sure about a person, it’s a lot easier to cut it off before you would ever meet. There are also safety monitors on many of the swingers dating sites, so if you feel that someone is being menacing or just plain creepy–report them. You could be saving someone else some trouble.

A final note…

Unfortunately, not everyone understands the joys of swinging, or they only want to live out their fantasies, but dismiss yours. Stalkers are a very real problem, so protecting your personal information until you are absolutely sure about someone is important.

Don’t give out your name, where you work, where you live, or any other identifiable information.

If you are new to swinging you may not be familiar with some of the different terms you will come across, such as Soft Swinging or Hard Swinging (also known as Full Swap). Let me help fill you in on what the difference is so you will not be caught off guard.

Soft Swinging

Most swingers start out here, and many stay with this type of swinging. Soft swinging basically means that anything goes except for penetration with the other partner. Penetration is saved for your own partner.

So what fun can you have without penetration…. Lots!

It is basically an extended foreplay session (Ted and I call it Fourway Foreplay – but without the guys playing with each other) with lots of kissing, caressing, and a ton of oral sex. Playing with Sex Toys is also okay, including penetration with sex toys. The only thing off limits is for one partner to penetrate the other partner.

Some people also call completely staying with your own partner Soft Swinging, but that is actually a form of Couples Voyeurism, usually mentioned in Swingers Profiles as we like to watch and be watched.

Another inaccurate use of the expression Soft Swinging is when it is referred to couples where the ladies play exclusively or with very limited interaction. This is actually referred to as “Ladies Only Play”.

We actually met a full swap couple that was just not sure what exactly they could do with a couple who only soft swaps so we had to show them. Now this couple was thinking about getting out of the lifestyle because it just seemed to not be for them, until they found out how much fun soft swinging could be.

Hard Swinging or Full Swap

Just as the name implies this form of swinging includes a full swap or intercourse with the other partner. Some people never get to this point for reasons of their own, such as diseases or intimacy issues, but many enjoy full swap quite a bit.

I would not be me if I did not remind you right now that you should never have intercourse with someone else without a condom, but I am sure you are smart enough to already know that. It is just not worth the chance.

Both these forms of swinging can be done in the same room (so that both couples are together) or in separate rooms. Even when enjoying the experience of a threesome you will need to decide if you are going to soft swing or hard swing. Everyone MUST be in agreement as well.

Also do yourself a favor and talk about this before things end up in the bedroom (or whatever room you are going to get together). There is nothing more awkward than finding out that the person you are with, and trying to get a condom on him, is not into having actual intercourse with you. This conversation is so much easier to have in non-sexual surroundings.

That’s it now go out and enjoy yourself; just make sure both you and your partner are on the same wavelength before you pick-up some cute couple.

~ Play Safe, Ted & I always do

When you’re new to swinging, you might feel a bit uncomfortable, like you don’t know the rules, what’s appropriate and what’s not.

Maybe you’re just nervous.

And that’s okay because nerves can be a powerful aphrodisiac as well.

Now let’s talk about soft and hard options (wink).

Soft Swinging

This is the stage where most swingers start out. Whether you’re alone or in a couple, with one person or another couple, you can break into swinging gently.

You’re going to find a room that everyone is comfortable in, set the mood with candles and music, if you’d like. Feel sexy, feel adventurous.

And there are two ways the night (or day) can proceed. Kissing, touching, and exploring are all on the menu, but intercourse is not.

Not yet, anyways.

You might even want to stick with the person that you came with and not touch your new friends. Or maybe you just want to watch the other couple let passion overtake them. It’s amazing how sexy you can feel by watching someone else start the action.

And if the mood hits you, you can go over to another partner and continue with the touching and exploring. Sex is not an option, so you can get mighty creative with your imagination. And whatever end up happening, you’re all in the same room. No one leaves for another locale.

All of the heavy breathing and heat stays put.

For now.

There’s much more satisfaction to come.

Easy now.

Hard Swinging

But what if you’re ready to take it up a notch (or down, for that matter)?

That’s where hard swinging comes into play. And by play, the rules have changed and the rules are now working to every advantage that you can think of.

Pick a few rooms, an entire house, a pool, whatever and let your inhibitions run wild. Intercourse is fair game.

Don’t limit yourself with a bed or a hotel room, get creative. Clear out your house and see where you can hide (and find) yourself.

You can go off with someone that you’re enjoying or stay and watch what your partner is doing. You might just get some fantastic ideas or want to imitate.

Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery.

Take your new partner into another room and succumb to your passions and your lust. Imagine your partner in the other room with another person.

Hot, hot, hot.

You want to talk with the other couple outside of the bedroom(s) to see what you’ll be experiencing for the evening. Setting clear boundaries ahead of time can save any miscommunication or mixed signals.

Do you want to have sex with another person or not?

Do you want to be in the same room as your partner?

The choice is up to you because this is your fantasy and you want to make it come to life.

You can start with soft swinging until you want to move on, or jump in for the whole enchilada (amongst other things) with hard swinging.

And whatever happens, happens..