Often statements are made that the customer service standards of various organizations are deteriorating which is resulting in loss of customer loyalty and ultimately impacting the bottom line of the organization. The basic idea behind ensuring maintenance of effective customer service standards is that the customers keep on coming back to the organization whenever they have any requirement of the products that the said company is dealing with. There are various organizations which tend to realize the importance of maintaining effective customer service standards but are not sure as to what all corrective measures need to be taken while rectifying the situation.

All these organizations end up initiating steps which instead of enhancing the experience often contribute in further deteriorating the condition. There are some very common mistakes or myths of ensuring effective customer service standards, which such organization believe in and put in practice and then hope of reviving their fortunes.

Myth No. 1: Add more employees to improve customer service standards

This is the most common myth that people sitting at the top of various service organizations hierarchy firmly believe in. They tend to add up the numbers of people in the service delivery chain and formulate systems and processes which instead of providing a positive result further complicate the process and service experience for the guests. This thought process does not consider the fact that simply adding or increasing the number of employees and creating complex systems and processes will not ensure effective customer service standards until and unless these employees are made to undergo comprehensive training programs and up gradation of their skill sets. Apart from comprehensive training programs; the employees also need to be given appropriate authority to solve a customers query or problem which might mean ignoring the set systems and processes if the need arises. This sort of confidence shown in the employees by the organization will also help in motivating the employees to perform better in their respective fields. Employees mindset, motivation levels and aptitude levels go a long way in ensuring effective customer service standards.

Training the employees goes a long way in ensuring the effectiveness of service delivery of the organization. Regular training not only helps the employees in learning new techniques and tricks of their trade but also helps them in realizing that the company is concerned about their wellbeing and professional future and it is taking necessary steps to ensure its growth. It motivates the employees to increase their performance levels and improve the service delivery experience for their customers.

This proves that adding more employees in the organizational setup without providing them with proper tools for growth cannot ensure effective customer service standards.

Myth No. 2: Increase the pay of the people in the service delivery chain to raise the standards

There are examples wherein employees in certain organizations are one of the highest paid in their industry, but the level of customer services standards that the organization maintains is pathetic. Then there are certain organizations which maintain decent salary payment levels for its employees, but no other organization can match their customer service standards.

The catch here is that these organizations which are able to provide exceptional customer service experiences to their external customers are also able to provide the same kind of experience to their internal customers. i.e. their Employees. How the employees are treated while working in an organization translates in their attitude and how they conduct themselves in their day to day job routine and alternatively in the customer service standard that they are able to maintain. Keeping the employees happy and motivated which does not necessarily mean paying them higher salaries is the difference between the kinds of experience that they provide to the organizations external customers.

Training and involving the employees in various facets of organizations development and strategy; apart from their routine activities makes them take ownership of the business and the service that they provide to their customers. There is an increase in the willingness to satisfy the customers especially when there is customer complaint in order to ensure that the customer goes back satisfied and his loyalty is retained by the organization.

There have been various studies which have been done on employee behavior and one prominent outcome of these studies has been that the organizations which are perceived as bad service providers are not only losing their valuable external customers but also their internal customers who are not willing to be associated with the organization for a longer duration. Retaining the loyalties of the customers, both internal as well as external is very critical for the future of the organization and also a reflection on how effective their customer service standards are.

If you are considering a home tuition for your child, you will need to consider checking several things. There are times wherein you will need to try out different tutors before you will be able to identify the one who is able to stand out in performance. Listed below are some of the standards that you will need to look for before you decide to choose a particular home tuition that will be best for your child.

1. Does the home tuition have the necessary practical experience and accreditation?

Before you allow any home tutor to work with your child, it is very important that you should thoroughly check his qualifications first. It is very important that he is knowledgeable with the subject matter that he is going to teach your child. Checking if the tutor has a diploma will also be beneficial; however it’s not a guarantee that he will be an effective teacher. Teaching requires passion, and that passion can not be seen in any diploma. Word of mouth is also very important. If the home tutor is really credible, he will surely have a lot of referrals and positive feedbacks.

There are also times when documents and certification will not be enough. This is the reason why some people would opt to go through a reliable tuition agency, hoping that they will find high quality tutors.

Among younger kids, teaching experience will really count. As I’ve mentioned, knowledge is not a guarantee that a person will be an effective tutor. This goes especially true among younger kids because with younger children, you will not only have to deal with their academic concerns, but you also will need to deal with their behaviors. The ability to discipline the child in the right way is also very important. This method can be developed through experience.

2. What is the gender of the tutor?

If you think that gender will not matter, then think again. If you are going to choose a personal tutor for your kid, always take into consideration the gender preference of your child. It is but normal for your child to feel some anxiety towards a new person in the house. So you should carefully assess to what gender your child is comfortable working with. You may not know it, but your child may be able to connect better to female tutors or vice versa. Ask your child their personal preference. This way, your child may be able to feel that their choice will also matter and that they are involved with the decision making.

3. Is your location accessible for the tutor?

Before you choose a personal tutor of your child, you must consider the area where they live. Ideally, your choice must live reasonably near your area. This way, it will be easier for the tutor to come on time. You must also see to it that the schedule of home tuition will not conflict to other pre arranged activities.

Your involvement as a parent must not end after you have chosen the home tuition for your child. After you have picked the most effective home tuition, you must still be involved with every session that they are going to have. Make sure that you are able to see for yourself how the tutor teaches your child. You can choose to sit in on an actual sessions. However, if this arrangement is causing distraction to your child then better find other means of assessing the performance of the home tuition. You can ask your child of what he thinks about his tutor, and what has he learned from their session. If you will show some interest to your child’s activities and how he is doing at school will give a positive impact on your child’s learning abilities.

A private security guard plays a vital role in people’s lives. Right now, there are more than 1 million security officers in the USA. Apparently, they outnumber police officers in our country. Guards ensure safety of common people against robbery, vandalism, or terrorist attack. So, it is very important to train security guards with strict standards and guidelines. But in a recently published research by Michigan State University, researchers have indicated a great decline in training and standards of security officer companies. This report forces us to think about stricter standards for the security guard industry. I am writing this article to highlight this issue.

The role of a security company has become more important after the 9/11 attacks. Government has beefed up security at the airports after September 11. But there is a need to bring stricter standards and guidelines for guards. Governments of some regions like Australia and Europe have adopted stringent standards and training programs for their private security guards. In the wake of the growing role of guards, we need some robust guidelines.

What are the issues?

Issues that we need to discuss are:

• Lack of training is one of the most crucial issues. This is an $11 billion-a-year industry in the United States of America. But many security officers do not receive specialized training. The training requirements vary from state to state.
• The training does not focus on tackling terrorist attacks, or working with firefighters.
• Security officers are subjected to undergo rigorous background checks, but this rule is not followed by many companies.
• It is a low-paying job; therefore, qualified persons do not want to work in this industry.

What are the solutions?

Below are some useful solutions:

• There is a need to design specialized courses covering topics like risk management, patrol guarding, mob control, firearm security and investigative services.
• Police or justice authorities should conduct criminal background checks. A company can also hire a background screening service and private investigator to do rigorous background checks of applicants. You can find such services at an affordable rate.
• Mention strict patrol compliance standards in your written contract.
• Owners of private security companies must have gone through relevant training. This rule is mandatory in countries like Austria and Belgium.

There is a need to discuss the issue of low payment. According to Bureau of Labor Statistics, the annual wage of security guards is $24,020 per year. They earn $11.55 per hour, which means waiters and maids are earning more than a security officer.

Security Guard Company LA follows all the strict norms.

Hotel security, with regards to the guarding, require security officers that are fully trained; PSIRA registered, skilled and knowledgeable, and of course, presentable and well-groomed. Especially where the service offering and appearance of service elements in the hospitality industry is of great importance, it is vital to hotels / lodges to have in place a security guarding solution that runs parallel with presentability and service standards.

On the other side of the fence, where the private security industry is served with a large number of security companies, it is apparent that in some areas of the security industry, an absence of participation in client contact and on-site experiences is perceived, and as a consequence, affects the quality of the service provided.

In perspective, it has come into view that a 360-degree security offering is what hotels and lodges are really in need of. A private security company that adds value to their hotel security offering by providing a full service security solution that is transparent in all aspects of service delivery is what ensures a competitive edge.

Furthermore, it is not only of importance in simply offering an excellent security service (or concept thereof), but also to maintain and uphold the quality and level of security services provided to these hotels and lodges.

How to maintain the quality of Security Service standards provided to Hospitality clients:

1. Survey the premises. Here, it is important to ensure that all physical security measures are in place, for instance fencing, surveillance, presence of security guards and equipment.

2. Analyze perceptions with regards to the guests, personnel and managers of the establishment in order to understand the overall satisfaction toward the existing security guard company at the hotel / lodge.

3. Measure the current level of service delivery in terms of basic service elements relating to the existing: security guarding service, security guard duties and achievements, specific security training of the security officers / security guards, and whether hotel security procedures are followed, which impacts on the overall service delivery aspects.

4. Review the quality of the specific hotel security service elements that is available, in order to indicate the output quality of the service elements which are measured in terms of whether they are present, and the degree of satisfaction of the performance of these service elements.

5. Record the results of the above, where the outcome indicates the quality of performance of your current security offering.

6. Utilize the outcome to specifically focus on improving current guarding services and hotel security management, ensuring that these elite standards are constantly followed up, where high levels of quality and client centricity becomes the point of focus in all areas of service delivery.

As mentioned above, involving clients in the service experience and building a relationship with these clients, is what really sets one security company apart from the other. Through client participation, the service provided is constantly improved upon and the clients’ needs are met through constant communication.

There are six core principles and standards of conduct established by the American Journal of Occupational Therapy. These points are enforceable for professionals working in the field. These principles are useful in evaluating times when a licensed professional has been accused of inappropriate actions and are intended to guide therapists toward ethical choices. When unusual circumstances and decisions arise, it is helpful to have a set of idealized principles as a guide.

Beneficence

Those who provide occupational therapy need to have concern for the well-being of their patients. “Beneficence” is a fancy word used mainly when discussing ethics, and it calls into question whether participants benefit from a particular study or procedure. Custom treatments can be designed for patients whenever possible, but it is also important for a therapist to periodically evaluate whether a particular course of treatment is benefiting the recipient.

Nonmaleficence

Maleficence is an evil or harmful act, the opposite of beneficence. Nonmaleficence, logically, is refraining from causing harm. One of the most well-known parts of the Hippocratic oath sworn by physicians, nonmaleficence is a reminder to be careful when harm is possible. Especially when helping people recover from past injuries, a poor choice of exercise activities can exacerbate the problem. While there are certainly more than a few sadistic individuals in the world, this principle is mostly targeted at professionals who may unintentionally cause harm.

Autonomy

Dealing with an individual’s right to independence, the principle of autonomy ensures that each patient has a right to privacy, self-determination, consent, and confidentiality. While extremely personal issues might not often be discussed during occupational therapy, it is still important to respect a patient’s privacy.

Justice

Objectivity and fairness are hallmarks of justice as it pertains to this professional field. People deserve to be treated equally, regardless of their race, beliefs, orientation, or financial means. Those without the necessary finances may be directed to charitable organizations and other alternatives for appropriate treatment.

Veracity

It’s critical that professionals maintain a level of respectability and candor that reflects positively on others in the field. Misinformation and deception can be harmful to patients and the standing of other therapists. Veracity is particularly valuable when discussing certifications, qualifications, and experience. Plagiarism and failing to give proper credit is also a violation of this ethical standard.

Fidelity

Rooted in the Latin word “fidelis,” fidelity refers to loyalty and honoring one’s commitments. Personnel who work in an occupational therapy office must have loyalty to peers, coworkers, patients, and the larger community of fellow therapists. One must be ready to identify and report conflicts of interest and mistakes. Like in any workplace, colleagues must be treated with respect and dignity.

Published principles and standards of conduct provide a safeguard for those who provide these kinds of therapeutic services. These rules make it clear when someone has gone out of bounds, and they serve as a reminder during times of difficult decisions.

Is She Too Strong? Too Pushy?

Instead of a lawsuit, I say shine a spotlight on double standards in the workplace. People will decide what’s not acceptable behavior. Public opinion brings rapid change, and that’s what I anticipate. -Nancy Clark

In the Harvard Business Review, Nancy Nichols writes, “Women who attempt to fit themselves into a managerial role by acting like men . . . are forced to behave in a sexually dissonant way. They risk being characterized as ‘too aggressive,’ or worse, just plain ‘bitchy.’ Yet women who act like ladies, speaking indirectly and showing concern for others, risk being seen as ‘ineffective.'”

Women have been caught in a double bind. We’re not part of the #1 team in business-the men’s team. That’s the situation we have today. Let’s not bemoan it-that won’t give us progress. Let’s analyze it and see where we can carve away a few more steps. Kathleen Hall Jamieson tells us, “Binds draw their power from their capacity to simplify complexity.

Faced with a complicated situation or behavior, the human tendency is to split apart and dichotomize its elements. So we contrast good and bad, strong and weak, for and against, true and false, and in so doing assume that a person can’t be both at once-or somewhere in between. Such distinctions are often useful. But when this tendency drives us to see life’s options or the choices available to women as polarities and irreconcilable opposites, those differences become troublesome.” Jamieson points out that over the years women have found new options to exercise, so don’t think of yourself as permanently shackled. She states, “Put simply, over time women have learned to turn potatoes into vichyssoise.”

When I’m asked about this problem, I say, “When you see double standards for men and women in action, all you need to do is bring attention to the matter-without anger. Most people will make their own judgment that this is unfair treatment. Those who don’t are not ready to change-this week.”

I don’t promote more laws and more lawsuits as the best way to proceed. Public opinion is ready to change en masse. Instead of a lawsuit, put a spotlight on double standards. Let people decide if this is acceptable behavior. Today we’re seeing that fathers and mothers are worried about sending their daughters out into a workplace that will disappoint them, year after year, with inequities.

Debra Meyerson of Stanford University tells us that if you want to make an effort to change the use of double standards, you have to speak up. For instance, “Jack and Mary both have clients who like them. Jack is arrogant and all you do is laugh about it. But Mary is not nearly as arrogant, yet you criticize her when she does any self-promoting. Why does he get higher marks at promotion time? Doesn’t this look like we’re using double standards? Is this fair?”

Tip: Over the next week, look for instances of double standards being used for men and women in your workplace. Point out the problem without anger if possible. It’s very likely you can enlist a man to second this opinion. Honest, they’re out there ready to help! Take a look at WomensMedia for new tips each week!

Further Reading

Blog, Women’s Lunch Talk, by Nancy Clark, Gender Communication: Nature Or Nurture? -Why Do We Have Mars-Venus Communication? And Why Is Mars More Powerful?

Website, WomensMedia, by Debra Meyerson, Gender in Business-Speak Up About Double Standards

Podcast (always less than 10 minutes), Working in Heels, by Nancy Clark, Gender Communication: Nature Or Nurture? -Why Do We Have Mars-Venus Communication, And Why Is Mars More Powerful?

Article, Nancy A. Nichols, “Whatever Happened to Rosie the Riveter?” Harvard Business Review.

Book, Kathleen Hall Jamieson, Beyond the Double Bind, Oxford University Press.

Due to the immense problems caused by the electrostatic discharge, the ESD Coordinator, Manager or Engineer needs to check the ESD gauges by a suitable ESD workstation to acquire the undeniable assurance from the threat of electrostatic release. The organizations use the measures for getting the ESD security to improve the profits of the companies over the long haul. The ESD secured system can enhance the skill of your important gadgets, upgrade their lives, and shield the working territory from a major debacle and ready to give heaps of different advantages. Along these lines, getting the ESD insurance that ought to adapt to the worldwide ESD Standards is the request of the day.

Major ESD Standards for Choosing the Right ESD Workstation

The working of any sort of principles is extremely vital as that it fills in as an exact proclamation of an arrangement of prerequisites which must be fulfilled by a material, item, framework or process with a specific end goal to make the items or administrations up to the stamp. Also, it expresses the correct methods for figuring out if the necessities are fulfilled or there is some insufficiency. The significance of the ESD security is far from the ground as it can yield the ROI (Return on Investment) of up to 3000% for each annum and it is required to consent to the customers’ requests and as per the prerequisites of the ISO 9000 projects too. Indeed, even the rundown of the ESD guidelines which is utilized everywhere throughout the globe has more than 60 however among every one of them, the significance of the ESD STM5.1-1998, ANSI/ESD S5.2-1994, ESD DS5.3.1-1996, CISPR 24 (1997-09) and the IEC-61000-4-2 (1995) inspite of the norms set for the military destinations, such as, the MIL-STD-750C/4 Method 1020, MIL-STD-785, are more.

It is a long haul preparation for which you have to gain the important information and capacities to quantify the effectiveness of the working region with respect to its capacity to give ESD assurance. Another system to acquire the full insurance from the peril of electrostatic release harm is to use the ESD items which are given by the authorized organizations specifically on the grounds that these sorts of ESD items are the confirmed ESD secured and so, have the nature of creating the exhaustive ESD ensured environment.

The ESD Coordinator, Manager or Engineer needs to check the ESD gauges to acquire the undeniable assurance from the threat of electrostatic release.

Back in the “old days,” the Internet was a lot like the Wild West. There were few standards for coding, page design, and browser compatibility. Many different web browsers vied for market dominance. And with the lack of standards, most websites did not work well with all browsers. If you needed information from a web site that didn’t work on your browser, you either had to buy a different browser or get that information elsewhere.

Fortunately, along came the Word Wide Web Consortium (W3C) to bring some law and order to the wild cyber-frontier.

Created in 1994, W3C is an international community of member organizations that articulates web standards so that websites look and work the same in all web browsers. Its mission is to lead the World Wide Web to its full potential by developing standards, protocols and guidelines that ensure its long-term growth.

To achieve its mission, W3C employs a full-time staff that works with the public to make the web accessible to all users despite differences in culture, education, ability, resources, and physical limitations. W3C also coordinates its work with other standards organizations such as the Internet Engineering Task Force, the Wireless Application Protocols (WAP) Forum, and the Unicode Consortium. W3C receives funding through research grants, individual donations of money and equipment, and other sources of private and public funding.

W3C’s primary focus is developing protocols and guidelines for key aspects of the web ranging from HTML and CSS coding to web architecture, XLM technology, web devices, and web browsing and authoring tools. So far, W3C has generated more than 90 standards, also called “recommendations,” that have passed through its rigorous process of review, formulation and implementation.

Why are these standards important to web designers and web users?

Because they ensure that the web works equally well for everyone, regardless of their location or technology. In particular, W3C standards for XML and CSS ensure that every website will function the same on any browser. Using W3C-compliant XML and CSS coding also improves search engine optimization by allowing search engine robots to “crawl” through websites quicker and more efficiently.

W3C standards also improve issues of accessibility, privacy, security, and internationalization, while helping to balance speed, fairness, public accountability, and quality on the Internet. W3C-compliant websites are cross-platform compatible. This means that, in addition to working on any browser, they can also be accessed via mobile phones, screen readers and text browsers, interactive televisions, and other devices.

Websites that use XML/CSS markup are cheaper to run because they use less bandwidth. And W3C’s royalty-free patent licensing commitments ensure that everyone has access to the technology they need to build their websites with the desired functionality. W3C standard technologies are downloadable at no cost, maintained in a predictable fashion, and strengthened through rigorous interoperability testing.

Conversely, websites that don’t use W3C protocols will be slow to load, which can frustrate visitors. They won’t work well with all browsers, which could eliminate many potential viewers. And they won’t work as efficiently with search engines, which could lower search rankings and make it harder for people to find the site.

W3C standards are the primary reason the web works so well today and will work even better in the future. They’re good for web designers and for web users, and should be an integral part of every web design project.

In a general sense, to “validate” means to give official sanction to, approve or confirm. Accordingly, “validation” can be applied to a very wide range of procedures, products or circumstances.

In the area of cold chain distribution – where it is critical to maintain a stable environment during the shipping of temperature-sensitive cargo – validation is a vital part of the quality control process; assuring that active or passive insulate shippers are thoroughly tested and able to meet specific hold time requirements.

Vaccines and pharmaceuticals are particularly sensitive materials which, if not manufactured and shipped under stringent controls, can become ineffective or even hazardous to the consumer. To that end, in the 1970s the Food and Drug Administration (FDA) began to develop specific guidelines to test and evaluate biologic and pharmaceutical products before they could be released to the public.

Validation procedures started to take shape and were applied to the pharmaceutical and vaccine approval process. Eventually, validation methods and guidelines were developed for the cold chain delivery system as well, with the goal of providing temperature assurance during the manufacturing, storage, shipping and delivery of medicines. Specifically, the Parenteral Drug Administration’s (PDA) Technical Report #39 outlines validation strategies for the cold chain.

The Cold Chain Validation Process

With some exceptions, the temperature standard during the manufacturing, storage and shipping of pharmaceuticals and vaccines is between 2 to 8 degrees Celsius. Because of the critical nature of this cargo, rigorous testing must be performed on the equipment and materials responsible for its effective delivery to ensure that it meets established standards. The target temperature must be maintained under the adverse conditions that insulated shipping containers might be exposed to. These conditions are at first simulated and then tested “in the field.” Results from these tests are documented in great detail.

With new cold chain solutions in place, the pharmaceutical supply chain is more stable and reliable than ever before. Data logging and reporting technology has taken a step forward and is more meticulous. The technology surrounding insulated shippers is more advanced as well.

Of course with this progression comes an increased number of qualifications for cold chain equipment to meet and surpass as part of the validation process.

Though they vary slightly according to each unique situation, some of the fundamental procedures within a cold chain validation testing process are:

• All testing equipment, from thermal test chambers to vibration tables, is subjected to a full validation process. This ensures that equipment is installed properly and functions as intended. Temperature monitoring devices are calibrated to ensure that data is accurately documented.

• All elements of the cold chain packaging system to be validated are inspected to ensure that they meet specification. This ranges from insulated shipping containers and refrigerant packs to active heating and cooling systems.

• In a lab environment, the cold chain packaging system is subjected to a simulation of worst case transit conditions. This includes thermal testing against hot and cold ambient temperature profiles and physical hazards such as drops, vibration, and compression. Equipment and data are carefully monitored and all observations and findings are well-documented.

• The cold chain packaging system is then monitored in a live field test to demonstrate that performance seen in the lab environment translates to “real world” conditions.

If there are any inconsistencies or problems with the process or equipment during testing, there will be no validation. Validation will not occur until issues are resolved and the hold time capability has demonstrated stability under further rigorous testing.

Cold chain validation does not stop upon successful testing. The monitoring, analysis and documentation of the system will continue even after initial validation testing is done. The importance of consistent and reliable temperature control in situations where life-saving products are involved cannot be emphasized enough. And to those who manage cold chain distribution operations, the validation process offers insurance.

Good Morning America played an interesting segment on “Mom vs Stepmom” last Friday, April 3. The idea ignited after a well-known model, Gisele Bundchen, made an innocent comment about her feelings toward her stepchildren. She simply stated that she considers them to be 100% hers. Why wouldn’t she feel this way? More to the point, why shouldn’t she feel this way? After all, she is married to their biological father. Haven’t we all learned that we should love not only the person we’re married to, but all of his/her family as well? That includes the kids, obviously. The in-laws, though, are an exception – particularly the mother-in-law. It seems to be OK to not like them – or at least not get along well with them.

Divorce seems to be OK too. Oh sure, we’re told that we should only marry once, only marry the person we’re in love with, never cheat on that person, and never get divorced. Yet, the divorce rate for first-time marriages is 50%. The divorce rate for subsequent marriages is 66%, and higher still for marriages with children (families). That is, if the couple even wants to get remarried. Many couples are choosing to cohabitate (live together/shack up) instead, because they don’t *want* to get divorced again. It was so painful the first time, they figure why do it a 2nd time.

These rates in and of themselves reflect a contradiction in the so-called family values of our society. On one hand, we espouse the importance of family values, staying together, loving everybody, treating everybody equally, and on, and on, and on. Yet, on the other hand, we have pretty much accepted these divorce/separation rates as fact and not likely to change. Indeed, somebody just told me THAT last week – to not expect the divorce rate to decrease. EVER!! So we’ve accepted the fact that separation/divorce happens, as well as the reasons for them, including infidelity.

The dynamics of stepfamilies, then, is the epitome of contradictory family values, and the stepparent is the biggest victim of the double standards. We are all led to believe that we *can* love anybody we want – and that love *can* last forever if we just try hard enough. We are all led to believe, thanks to movies like Yours Mine and Ours, that we too can form a blended family and everybody will live happily ever after. However, anybody who has been in a stepfamily knows that this is not the case. The reality is that stepparents and stepchildren do not automatically or instantaneously love each other just because the adults in the family get remarried. As a matter of fact, in many stepfamilies (blended families) the love doesn’t come until several years down the road. In other stepfamilies, the love NEVER comes. That is one reason why the divorce rate for stepfamilies is so much higher than the rate for biological/traditional families.

We do not choose who we love. Moreover, we cannot make another person love us. We choose how we treat people. We should ALWAYS choose to treat people fairly, courteously, and with respect, which is especially important in stepfamilies. Not instantly loving stepparents or stepchildren is OK provided that you treat them the right way.

Stepfamilies are a case in point. We expect the stepparent to automatically love the biological children upon the marriage to their bio parent; yet, we don’t hold the kids to the same standard because they are “kids”. Then, if the kids try to break up the marriage because they are not happy about having another parent, the stepparent is expected to be the bigger person and not get frustrated or upset. Many parents revolve around the children in hopes to make them happy without understanding that the only thing the children want is for their biological parents to be back together again, which is not a possibility in 99% of cases. That is why it is important for stepfamilies to figure out how to make the new union work as 1 stepfamily unit.

Then there is the other side of the double standard, as in the case of Gisele Bundchen. She internalized these family values that the Greater Society has espoused throughout the years. She internalized the message and had taken it to heart. She fully intends and expects to be just as good as her stepchildren’s biological mom. In every bone of her body, she believes that she will love her husband’s children as her own and treat them just as she would her own kids. In that sense, she considers them to be 100% her own. The other side of that same coin, though, is the simple fact that they are not her children. No matter what she does from now until the day she dies… even if she deeply bonds with them, she will never have a biological bond with them. She can never replace their mom. She knows she can’t also and wasn’t expecting to try and replace their mom; yet she believes she can be all to them that their mom can be. Indeed, she can – all except the level and quality of love (bond) that only exists between a mom her biological child.

The other factor that wasn’t considered – and usually is not known or understood – is how the stepchildren really feel about their new stepmom, the new family, new environment (neighborhood, house, friends, etc). Nor are the feelings of the biological mother known or understood. Many, many women have a difficult time seeing their ex-spouse with a new woman. This is particularly harsh if the new woman is perceived (by the ex-wife) to be prettier, younger, more well-known, or more glamorous. This can be harsher still if, God forbid, she was the “other woman” while the biological dad was still married. Women more than men can be very insecure about these qualities in themselves. When they see their ex with a new woman that has these qualities, their insecurities come to the forefront. In the mind of many of these ex-wives is that he broke up with her because she wasn’t pretty enough, was too fat, too thin, too frumpy, not glamorous enough, … you get the picture. In actuality, those reasons usually have nothing to do with the reasons for the initial break-up. Suddenly, things that didn’t seem to be an issue before is now an issue for the ex-wife. This puts the stepmom in a precarious position from the start. It is a long uphill trudge which frequently catches her by surprise to say the least.