Ferrets will always have an odor about them, just like you always have an odor about you and your dog always smells of dog. You can’t do anything about that. You can, however, minimize the odor. Here’s a list of what you can do to minimize your ferret’s odor, in order of importance.

Clean the litter box daily.

Keep the litter box clean. Clean the litter box at least once a day, and if you have more than a couple of ferrets, you might need to clean the litter box more than once a day. A critter’s output smells much more than the actual critter.

Feed your ferret stuff that smells okay.

You are what you eat. I like garlic. Whenever I eat my scalloped potato and garlic dish, I perspire garlic the next day. My body odor changes significantly.

Ferrets also are what they eat. Look at the ingredients in your ferret’s kibble. What do the individual ingredients smell like? I don’t buy my ferrets food that contains fish, because I think fish is the stinkiest of all meats. My ferrets get food made with chicken, turkey, deer, and duck. (They like Totally Ferret.)

Remember to switch slowly if you decide to change food on your pet. Some fuzzies get used to a particular food. Some fuzzies have allergies. I have one young lady that can’t eat chicken without suffering GI woes.

Clean the cage weekly.

Wash all the plastic trays in your ferret cage once a week. I use a vinegar and water solution. Several times a year completely take the cage apart and scrub it. I have a Ferret Nation cage and I wheel it outside, hose it down, spray it with soap, and let it soak. After hosing the soap off, I do a visual inspection for anything that is missed. Sometimes I need to get a scraper and scrape.

Change the bedding weekly.

You have pores all over your skin and you sweat. This gives you a fine, human odor. Ferrets have scent glands all over them and this gives them a fine musky, ferret odor. The scent glands release oil. The oil builds up in their bedding.

So, change their beds once a week. I like to keep at least two sets of bedding so I can have some in the wash while the ferrets use the rest in their cage.

Consider the scent glands.

Most ferrets are descented before they reach the pet store.

What this means is that their anal scent glands are removed. You know how your cat or dog sometimes drags his or her bottom across the floor? The cat or dog is trying to express their anal glands. Most critters express these glands naturally when they do their business, and unless your critter has a problem, you’re best of just leaving well enough alone.

Ferrets also have these anal scent glands, when they’re born. If your ferret still has its scent glands, you can consider removing them. Do a lot of research and talk with a vet or two before you do this. While this surgery is regularly done in the US, in the UK it’s considered cruel and vets only do it when medically necessary.

I live in the US, and every ferret I’ve ever rescued or come across has already been descented. I have been told, however, that while ferrets with their scent glands intact have an overall stronger odor, they “poof” rarely and the “poof” smell dissipates quickly (as opposed to a skunk where you bathe your dog in tomato sauce for days).

Don’t over bathe your ferret.

The bath schedule is important. That is, it is important to not bathe your ferret very often. It might seem counter intuitive, but if you over bathe your ferret, it will stink more. Do not bathe your ferret more than once a month. Less is better.

Bathing removes the ferret’s oil that the body scent glands generated, and the little guy’s body works to fix that problem. If you bathe your ferret too much, your little friend’s body will go into overdrive and product bunch of oil.

Don’t bathe your ferret more than once a month. My ferrets, usually, only get three baths a year, and those baths are generally because they are covered in mud. If your ferret gets extra dirty, messes himself, or the like, rinse your ferret off only in the affected area, or gently wipe him with a baby wipe or damp cloth.

Products are an option.

I don’t think extra products are necessary, but if you really need to reduce your ferret’s odor more, there are a couple of products that can help. A couple products, designed to reduce body odor, are a clear liquid that you put in the ferret’s water. I’ve tried them on my ferrets. They actually do work. I don’t notice it, however, until I take the product away. (It’s kind of like watching a puppy grow. You don’t notice the growth from day to day, but all of a sudden, your pup’s a dog.)

I don’t use that product anymore. I don’t think it’s necessary, and I can’t seem to find an ingredient list. That makes me nervous.

Perfumes are another method, but instead of reducing the odor inside the animal, they cover up the odor by making another odor stronger.

My sister hates the musky ferret odor, so when she comes to visit, I make my weasels stink like baby powder or cucumbers. My ferrets don’t like it and I don’t like it, but it appeases my sister. We don’t do this very often, however.

In summary

1. Clean the litter box daily.

2. Change their bedding weekly.

3. Clean the cage weekly.

4. Feed your babies non-stinky food.

5. Don’t over bathe them.

Here are the current USA High School Girls Track and Field Records through July 2009. This list gives every high school runner, jumper and thrower an idea of what it takes to become a world-class athlete at the prep level.

Some of these record-holders have just completed their senior season and are likely headed for college competition somewhere. They include middle distance runner Jordan Hasay, steeplechaser Shelby Greany, high jumper Toni Young, and discus thrower Anna Jelmini.

The list of names from the past and their performances is amazing, and they have become household names in the track and field community worldwide. They include Allyson Felix, Sanya Richards, Kim Gallagher, Polly Plumer, and more recently Christine Babcock.

USA High School Girls Track & Field Records

100 – 11.11 in 1998 by Angela Williams of Chino (CA) High School.

200 – 22.51 in 2003 by Allyson Felix of Los Angeles Baptist HS in North Hills (CA). Felix also had a 22.11 at altitude in Mexico City, Mexico.

400 – 50.69 in 2002 by Sanya Richards of St. Aquinas HS in Ft. Lauderdale (FL).

800 – 2:00.07 in 1982 by Kim Gallagher of Upper Dublin HS in Ft. Washington (PA).

1,500 – 4:14.50 in 2008 by Jordan Hasay of Mission HS in San Luis Obispo (CA).

Mile – 4:35.24 in 1982 by Polly Plumer of University HS in Irvine (CA).

3,000 Steeplechase – 10:15.26 in 2006 by Mel Lawrence of Reno (NV) HS.

3,000 – 9:08.60 in 1975 by Lynn Bjorklund of Los Alamos (NM) HS.

2 Miles – 10:01.08 in 2002 by Molly Huddle of Norte Dame HS in Elmira (NY).

5,000 – 15:52.88 in 2004 by Caitlin Chock of Granite Bay (CA) HS.

10,000 – 32:52.5 in 1979 by Mary Shea of Cardinal Gibbons HS in Raleigh (NC).

100 Hurdles – 12.95 in 1979 by Candy Young of Beaver Falls (PA) HS.

300 Hurdles – 39.98 in 2001 by Lashinda Demus of Wilson HS in Long Beach (CA).

400 Hurdles – 55.20 in 1984 by Leslie Maxie of Mills HS in Millbrae (CA).

4×100 Relay – 44.50 in 2004 by Shana Solomon, Jasmine Lee, Chanda Picott and Shalonda Solomon of Poly HS in Long Beach (CA).

4×200 Relay – 1:33.87 in 2004 by Shana Solomon 24.2, Jasmine Lee 23.3, Shana Woods 23.4 and Shalonda Solomon 23.0 of Poly HS in Long Beach (CA).

4×400 Relay – 3:35.49 in 2004 by Shana Woods 55.7, DeShanta Harris 55.6, Jasmine Lee 52.6 and Shalonda Solomon 51.6 of Poly HS in Long Beach (CA).

4×800 Relay – 8:43.12 in 2008 by Dominique Lockhart 2:13.0, Amirah Johnson 2:08.6, Brittany Ogunomokun 2:11.9 and Tasha Stanley 2:09.6 of Roosevelt HS in Greenbelt (MD).

4×1,500 Relay – 18:52.5 in 1982 by Laura Sauerwein 4:48.7, Polly Plumer 4:28.1, Judy McLaughlin 4:55.7 and Terea Barrios 4:40.5 of University HS in Irvine (CA).

4xMile Relay – 19:56.75 in 2006 by Christy Goldman 5:08.7, Shelby Greany 5:01.8, Caroline Heidt 4:52.3 and Kara McKenna 4:53.9 of Suffern (NY) HS.

800 Medley – 1:38.73 in 2003 by Shana Solomon, Dominique Dorsey, Jasmine Lee and Shalonda Solomon 51.4 of Poly HS in Long Beach (CA).

Sprint Medley – 3:51.90 in 2007 by Afia Charles, Doris Anyanwu, Takecia Jameson and Marika Walker 2:06.7 of Roosevelt HS in Greenbelt (MD).

Distance Medley – 11:31.81 in 2008 by Tori Pennings 3:33.2, Kristen Jados 57.3, Claire Pettit 2:11.3 and Lillian Greibesland 4:50.0 of Warwick Valley HS in Warwick (NY).

4×100 Hurdles – 57.49 in 2003 by Gayle Hunter, Dominique Manning, Lili Calhoun and Ashlee Brown of North HS in Riverside (CA).

High Jump – 6-04 in 2009 by Tori Young of Del City (OK) HS, and in 1993 by Amy Acuff of Calallen HS in Corpus Christi (TX).

Pole Vault – 14-01.25 in 2007 by Tori Anthony of Castilleja HS in Palo Alto (CA). Anthony also had an indoor vault of 14-02.50 in 2007.

Long Jump – 22-03 in 1976 by Kathy McMillan of Hoke County HS in Raeford (NC).

Triple Jump – 44-11.75 in 2004 by Brittany Daniels of West HS in Tracy (CA).

Shot Put – 54-10.75 in 2003 by Michelle Carter of Red Oak (TX) HS.

Discus – 190-03 in 2009 by Anna Jelmini of Shafter (CA) HS.

Hammer – 201-07 in 1998 by Maureen Griffin of Pocatello (ID) HS.

Javelin – 176-05 in 2005 by Rachel Yurkovich of Newberg (OR) HS.

Heptathlon – 5,533 in 2006 by Shana Woods of Poly HS in Long Beach (CA).

Marathon – 2:34.24 in 1984 by Cathy Schiro of Dover (NH) HS.

(Editor’s Note: This is Part 2 of a 2-Part Series.)

Copyright © 2009 Ed Bagley

In August 1992, myself and my wife, Caroline, arranged a trip to post-Tiananmen China. It was in the days when the London China Travel office was on Cambridge Circus, opposite the Palace Theatre on Charing Cross Road. It took me at least twenty books, a late-night Japanese television series and several months to plan and arrange the trip from what was then our base in Balham, south London. In those days, you could arrange the visit via China Travel and then, as long as the itinerary was lodged in advance, you could travel absolutely independently. Everything was pre-paid, but on setting off, we had no tickets or confirmed reservations apart from our air tickets in and out of Beijing. As ever, I kept a journal of the trip, which ran to more than fifty pages. A few years later, I condensed the experience to two sides of A4, ignoring rules of grammar and syntax, and produced the following ramble, a perhaps poetic impression of nearly a month of travel.

Ex-London while the Sun dissected Michael Jackson’s nose and praised Boardman’s hooterless gold-medal bicycle. Air China to Beijing, where taxis cost more than Lonely Planet predicts. A Chinese character itinerary from one Tim Han of China Travel whilst fellow workers drool over televised lithe Afro-American sprinters at the Olympics. Then to the no-longer Forbidden City. Piles of local tourists to negotiate.

Four hours of Xinjiang Airlines to Urumqi. Signs in Chinese and Russian plus Uigur written in Arab script (a recent innovation). Land lines across Inner Mongolia. Why and how so straight? Urumqi multiple-peaked. Piles of coal, scruffy high rise, snow-capped Bogda Shen at street-end. Pavement fortune tellers, traders. Food stalls. Women washing sheeps’ stomachs in a stream, tripe kebabs. Uigur town now Han Chinese, populated by Shanghai overspill, over 2000 miles from ‘home’. The second long march.

Uigur breakfast. Hot sheep’s milk, Chinese tea, flat tomato bread, sugared tomato and cucumber, pickled cabbage, thin congee, sheep’s milk butter, two giant sugar lumps. Uigur market. Fruits amid a forest of hanging lamb. Chinese market. Live vegetables and meats. Tank over-spilling with energetic eels (unit price). Self-knotting spaghetti.

Woman losing her gold watch at an illegal ‘find the lady’. Policeman looking on. Tears when the loss hits home. Renmin Park for noodles and rocket-fuel chili sauce. Bag slashers with finger-ring knives on a crowded bus. Care needed.

Car to Turfan. Fertile valleys. Barren mountains. Occasional snow. Road ploughed. Kazak yurts. Semi-sunken shade-making rammed-earth Uigur villages, invisible at a distance save for chimney smoke. Steep downhill gorge, spectacular river, rocks, white water and slate-grey hills. Into Turfan depression, snow-capped distance surrounding grey stone pit 100 miles across. 42 degrees at its base, 200 metres below sea level. Car ahead leaving tracks on molten road. A hefty gob from the driver irrigates. Gobi means stones. Plenty here. And then green. An oasis. A giant mirage?

Turfan. Latticed vines for street-shade. Hanging raisin grapes. 15 yuan fine for casual picking. Hotel tea in galvanised buckets. Turkish-style dancing and music. Genghiz-sacked rammed-earth cities of Goachang and Jiaohe. Painted tombs and brick minarets. Flaming mountains. Karez underground irrigation system. 3000 kilometres of channels. 1500 years old, gravity-fed from mountains at the depression-edge. Uigur culture’s greatest feat, and in full working order.

Bus to Daheyan. Two hours over bumpy stones to depression-edge. Dump of a railway town. Coal heaps, box buildings, waste land. Two women at war on station forecourt. Ramming victim’s head onto the ground. Blood. Onlookers. Inaction. A tense town of resentful postees.

500 miles to Liuyuan in Gansu. Featureless flat grey shale stone. Spectacularly unique. Snow mountains to the north. Utterly empty, save for smoking coal towns. 40 above in summer, 30 below in winter. Overnight by train. Dawn reveals same massive scene, now in brown.

Arrive Liuyuan. Daheyan writ similar. 120 miles south across the desert (black at first!), past remnant ramparts of Han Dynasty Greater-Great Wall. Camels and dunes of Taklimakan, world’s largest sand desert. Near Dunhuang oasis blossoms again. Sand and scree suddenly crop and tree. Feitian Hotel, with complimentary toiletries labelled Sham Poo and Foam Poo. Lunch. Fourteen dishes. Duck, foo-yong, cucumber, cabbage, oyster mushroom chicken, coriander pork, steamed buns, steamed bread, rice, beef broth and noodles, pork and green beans, pork and sweet chili, chicken and squash, plain noodles, water melon. Then to get the essential torch for the caves. Houses huddled together. Wood stores for winter piled on top. View across the roofs like a scrap heap. Ground level claustrophobic stoneware maze.

Cave day. Mogao Buddhist caves – closed from 12 to 2, full day needed for perhaps the most stunning sight on earth. 400 ‘caves’ (some cathedral size) in a sandstone gorge, between 400 AD to 1100 AD. Utterly dry, always dark, perfectly preserved. Everything painted. Tang period complex and colourful. A world of scenes by torchlight. Buddhas reclining, sitting, standing, posing. Thirty metre seated figure with thousands of unsmoked cigarettes and coins on his lap as offerings. Shock of Qing-renovated cave with Taoist figures. Ghoulish features, contorted, and a face in the groin. 40 caves seen in the day, archaeologist as a personal guide. Stunning. Fourteen dishes for dinner.

Desert bus back to Liuyuan. Always a fight for seats. Three dusty hours. Train to Lanzhou. 800 miles along Gansu-Qinghai mountainous border. More black desert, then yellow earth. Jaiyaguan fort at the limit of the Ming empire. Overnight by train. Country changed. Mountain pass, green rolling hills and stepped fields. Wheat harvest in. Straw dollies like children at assembly. Houses still of rammed earth. Lanzhou a thriving industrial city. Thirty hours of travel. Walk by Yellow River.

Fish in hotel restaurant tank all dead. Lanzhou bus expensive. 50 fen per trip. Radios and knitting banned. Han dynasty flying horse and bronze warriors. Steamed carp with rape on menu. The fish comes first. Train to Xian through yellow loess country. Deep furrows and gorges. All flat land cropped. 500 miles overnight.

Terra cotta warriors facing east to guard Qin Shihuang’s tomb. Made in pieces. Assembled in situ. Partly excavated section where piles of dismembered limbs emerge from the earth. New terra cotta warriors for sale from the factory behind the museum. Exact replicas of originals. Wheeze at the thought of the whole thing as a sham for the tourist trade.

Xian, like all Chinese cities, a square. Roads straight, intersecting always at right angles. Ancient centre walled, Ming rebuilt. Old mosque exquisite. Xianyang nearby, with Seventh century Qian tombs, museum with another 3000 Han terra cottas like a football crowd. Train to Beijing. 800 miles, 26 hours. Houses often caves in valley side. Later immense flat land, maize everywhere.

Temple of Heaven, Tiantan, and then Beijing Opera. Pause for beer at wayside stall. Served by moonlighting trainee stockbroker! Breakfast pickle amazing, like four year old camembert out of a shotgun. Takes the head off. Great Wall. Mucho touristico, but still stunning. Like climbing a giant ladder in places. “I climbed the Great Wall” T-shirts, prices lower the further you climb. Must be the air. Ming tombs dismissed by guide-book. Wrong. Amazing barrel vaulted rooms nine stories underground. Jade doors, carved thrones, marble, marble, marvel. Reminiscent of renaissance Italy. Everlasting bricks etched with names of their makers. Souvenir jade boat for 55000 pounds.

White drapes over erotic statues in Tibetan Lama Temple. Same bestial content in wall paintings. 24 metre gold Buddha through the incense-blur. No smoking signs everywhere.

Mao’s Maosoleum an emperor’s tomb. Lines for queues painted across the square. Feet pointing north towards Tiananmen Gate, upside-down feng shui. He is shiny, waxy and painted about the face. Moving lines file past on either side. No pausing. Outside, stalls with Mao T-shirts, Mao key rings, cuddly toys, post cards, magic lantern shows. Mao Zedong candy floss by the armful. Then Great Hall of the People. Dining room for 5000. Now fast food for tourists. Great Hall chop sticks, cigarettes, T-shirts. Great Hall of the People cuddly toys.

2500 miles. Three and a half weeks. 5 destinations. 50 caves. 6000 terra cotta warriors. 1 each Great Wall, Forbidden City, Beijing Opera, Mao Zedong. Hundreds of tombs, temples, pagodas, parks, bendi-buses and bicycles. 3 silk shirts on the Silk Road. One amazing trip.

(Arrival-Tokyo: July 5^th, 1999) Most Japanese people appear polite, but once you’re in their country and a little less than a tourist, at least for me, being a guest more than a tourist, an American Caucasian: engaged to a Japanese woman five years my senior, it was quite the opposite; I was in their domain, I was in the land of the ancient warriors with long swords- and they wanted me to know it; prior to this, she had visited Minnesota three times within the past three years, and she wanted me to see her homeland.

Anyhow the story really starts in 1996, when I met Kikue with several of her girlfriends, waiting at the airport in Istanbul to go back home and we talked and exchanged addresses and became pen pals, and as I said, she visited me in Minnesota, then I was asked to come to Japan to visit her. And I did, the summer of 1999, for six-days, on my way to Java.

When I arrived in Japan, she was waiting there at the airport, it was near evening, and I was hungry, so we went to a restaurant, all the waitresses and host were wearing kimonos, and all the other necessities that make Japanese figures, Japanese. Everything very colorful and the food was not really all that tasty, but just being in Tokyo, Japan, gave a certain acceptable flavor to it. It was a full restaurant and many foreigners like I-a few of my fellow-countrymen here and there. After we ate we found our way out of the corridor outside of the bistro, and on our way out to the everlasting hysteric lifestyle of trains, trains packed to the rim with bodies: herds and herds of bodies being smashed into those opening and closing doors. All hanging onto rails, some sitting, and half the bodies were closed eyed as if sleeping.

It would be, the relationship with Kikue, my Japanese girlfriend, be a shrieking and not very promising one, by the end of my sixth day in Japan, I hate to say this so early on in the story but, there are reasons for this-I am not Marlon Brando, and I was not making a movie called “Sayonara,” by James Michener, so truth be told, I was not in their eyes of the same blood, and therefore, imperfect, even though we were their conquerors.

But as I was saying, little hands and big bellies and sweat, we were all jammed into these train cars, from one point to another, which for Japan, and certainly for Tokyo, is commonplace and cumbersome.

As we walked downtown, there were more massage parlors than cafes: Kikue told me, they were quite prevalent, like wings on a bird, everybody needed a rubdown from all the stress, and strain of the city life, and I could now see why just by taking one train ride, which really was several, connecting.

(Tama City-July 5^th & 6^th) Finally we came to what was called Tama City, Kikue’s domain, a district of Tokyo, one used by the U.S. Air Force, with a beautiful golf course. From what I understood a rather newer enterprise, than the city we’d visit in a few days, called Nagoya and Kyoto. There in Tama City, I would meet three of her girlfriends, one that owned a small café, and we all talked there, had coffee, and rice cakes and so forth, and they gave me hand made postcards, and they giggled a lot, the Japanese women are famous for that I guess, perhaps releases stress, and they were perhaps the friendliest of all the Japanese people I would meet while in Japan.

I took a few photographs, and went to a small apartment she had rented for our visit. Desirous, the Japanese do not mind being photographed, actually they seem to like it, so I had no trouble, innocently minded, and shot pictures when and wherever I wanted to.

The next day I was to meet her whole family, this was to be the Devil’s own time assembling, they didn’t take to me, no one smiled, there was perhaps ten of them at this restaurant, and only Kikue and her sister could speak English, actually her younger sister could speak better English than Kikue, who perhaps had a vocabulary of fifty to seventy-five words.

By they way they treated me at the table, eating, then every other minute someone asking questions, and so forth, it would have appeared to an onlooker as if they were interrogating me, grabbing the opportunity to degrade their enemy at the same time, their conqueror. Her sister who sat by me, put her hand on my thigh, and fumbled about, and I took it off, “Just checking to see what you’d do,” she said: meaning if I was serious about her sister I suppose: never reporting her facts to the family of course, and I let it be, surely she would have denied it, and impersonated the perfect sister.

All in all, the local scene was touchy, and I got to the point I could not take anymore and stood up and said in a near vulgar way, “You people are plainly rude, I’m your guest, even if I’m your disappointment, or your daughter’s disappointment to you: cozy as you look you’re a bunch of hypocrites.” And I walked out into the open air. And Kikue gasped, jumped up and followed, and the family members, the mother in particular, was saying, trying to say anyhow, “Oh, oh we are so sorry…!” which was a lie. She was sorry I could figure out what she was up to, that I confronted her and was bold enough to do so.

We did stay for her sister’s show of art, at this nearby gallery, and her sister gave me a water painting she did, one I liked, and we were back to being friends, no more brawling.

That evening I had acupuncture, from a friend of Kikue’s, and when I got on the bus to go back to our apartment, I collapsed. My body couldn’t take the acupuncture.

We went back to the room; it was mostly furnished with a sturdy bed, Japanese décor, outside was two food machines, where you could buy a cold drink or a candy bar-and we waited for morning, where we had breakfast at McDonald’s (way over prices); made a phone call to Minnesota, not sure what for, perhaps business I had a few apartments then; and caught a train to Nagoya, which was really a stopover on our way to Kyoto. It was morning, but while waiting for the train, her sister showed up, an even younger one than the artist, I of course was incapable of replying to her grinning face, and they were talking about me: from what Kikue said and from what she didn’t say, with an icy cold look at me, it wasn’t good, I gathered she felt her Western-style selection of boyfriend was not to the Japanese taste, yet everything per near in Tokyo was bent towards the West. I tried to interrupt several times what they were saying, because everything was just getting gloomy, everything under a gloomy glare, and people walking by. Her face went into cruel and gaudy colors, as I lazily passed the 400-square foot platform, enclosed between two doors.

(Nagoya-July 7^th) From Tokyo to Nagoya was perhaps two-hundred miles, and from there to Kyoto, would be a bus ride-perhaps another forty miles or so: anyhow, here we were in Nagoya in time for the events Kikue had planned: she had put heart and soul into this visit of mine, and with enthusiasm I equaled it, and the first thing we saw was the Japanese Castle, with its waving like gables, in place of towers. Below it, it had a great wall and dark green bushes below that, and then the sidewalk. But the most exciting thing of the city was that there was a Sumo event going on. And I got to go to it, an international competition, people from around the world, and the old Champion who was from Hawaii, was present. I actually got to meet three of them, and was told in a light but dramatic way, I should not approach them, but heck, why not, surely that person was exaggerating, and so I did, no problem, they liked their picture being taken.

After all this we caught a bus to Kyoto…

(Kyoto-July 7 & 8^th) I was wondering how broke I would become if I lived here in Japan, everything was high, higher priced than Alaska, Iceland, and Paris, the three places I though were out of space with prices: I could include New York City also, but it would come in 5^th or 6^th place, but here in Japan they were somewhere in the Dark Galaxy. On another note, it seemed to me the Japanese people were indifferent-walking around in a trance: if not at times giving out some kind of pitying expression, as if it was some sphere of enlightenment, I mean here was a people who prided themselves in a pure blood race, but their ancestry was that of South East Asian, Korean, and Chinese, even their writings were mixed with the Chinese, and they avowed to be a pure race, the Japanese race; I thought how silly can they be, their blood was thicker with older races than they wanted to acknowledge, they were no accident, they were puffed, that’s all.

Anyhow, once we got to Kyoto, we didn’t go to a hotel, we went to a Ryokan, a traditional wooden Inn, built in 1603; this was July, 1999. It was simple I thought, but expensive, we had to take off our shoes to enter it, had slippers, a phone on a lowly built table, and everything was half size from what I was used to, or so it seemed, and I had a robe they provided with a black belt. Kikue had made all these arrangements, her character was now more tender, and it was nice of her to have put so much into this visit, I was surprised, even some flowers, red roses were in a vase behind me, or next to the wall.

As I walked about the place, a door was open to one of the rooms, I saw a man and woman making love on that thin mattress they leave in the room for a bed, it was as if they wanted spectators, she smiled as the guy on top of her never stopped to turn about and grin, his forehead bobbing back and forth, I just kept conservatively walking. Making my way back to my room, then Kikue and I went to visit the pigeons at one of the Kyoto Temples, then down to this Underwater Bridge, of sorts, I even participated in a Buddhist prayer or devotions, a meeting of some sort; the monks were very gracious.

That evening we went to the Kyoto Tower, it reminded me of the tower in Cairo: very high and not all that much design to it. It was closed but we snuck up the stairway to it anyway, I had to say I was there I guess, my taste in attire was still western, and no one paid me all that much attention, other than someone saying, “It’s closed,” and I went with a grin anyhow.

Well, we couldn’t eat there so we went to this other restaurant, closer to our Ryokan, and ate there, very expensive, and again the food, wasn’t all that great, but I did enjoy the duck, the slim pieces of duck I got-they have several dishes to every meal.

Throughout my stay in Japan I was seriously sober, they drink a good portion of sake I understood (I believe it to be a rice wine I drank it while in Vietnam, 1971), I didn’t drink anymore, nor did I ever like sake even while in Vietnam, nor did I smoke any longer, and although I didn’t see that many Japanese people drinking, they did like to smoke-a real-life counterpart to Americans, or Europeans I would think.

It was now getting late and I was fading out, tired, we walked back and Kikue started talking about me staying in Japan, and here I had arrangements to go to Guam in a few days, and on to Java. It kind of struck me as peculiar, this produced an argument, and I ended up fighting with her, but to calm things down I maintained a convent-like existence there in Kyoto, or tried to. I would have liked to have bid her forlornly sayonara,but I left well enough alone, perhaps this was just her peaceful annoyance underneath the romance not wanting me to leave-but the longer I stayed, it seemed as if it was more planned than abruptly staged, or at least so I assumed.

In the afternoon the next day we went to Geon, there I met a Geisha, and found a house where they served foods and drinks, and it was in essence a Geisha house, the proprietor told me it was one of the oldest in Japan, and you could see all these old pictures on the walls, I think Kikue was getting a little jealous, but she was a good diplomat in that she got me a tour of the place, then we left, and I found a Geisha walking about, and I got a picture with her, and believe it or not, when I got back to Minnesota, I noticed she was in one of the books I was reading about Geon; anyhow, right after that, we caught to a location near Mount Fuji, where a bus was waiting, and a group of people.

(Mt. Fuji-July 9 & 10^th) It was the second week of July, we went to Mount Fuji, in one way I had never been happier on a sightseeing trip, but not necessary with the company I was with, Kikue. She was bringing up to me staying in Japan more and more. I tried to concentrate on the background of this trip, went up 9500-feet of Mt. Fuji, it was above the clouds.

I realized the Sumo event was $500-dollars a seat, she paid for it, and the trip to Mt. Fuji, was per near double that, per person, and she paid for that also, so I said I’d pay the tip for the bus driver and guide, I asked how much, and she said: “One hundred dollars should cover it.”

I had a business, and I was doing quite well, but a tip for one hundred dollars, I was not Frank Sinatra, whom I heard gave $100-dollar tips. Nonetheless, I gave it, and bite my tongue.

For the most part it was a great trip I thought, and it was now noon when we got to the lakeside restaurant, provided by the tour company, she starts up with the same old argument, staying in Japan when I had tickets to Guam and Java, hotels paid for and tours paid for and all that kind of rot. I had bought a necklace for her, I had it in my hands and ripped it apart, threw it in the lake, and stomped my feet, snorted like bull, and then tried to pull myself back together, as she kept saying: “I paid for the dinner, we got to eat it,” over and over, and I was hungry, and so we got to the restaurant, and ate the leftovers.

In any case, Mt. Fuji was a sight worthy of seeing, and looking down into its cloudy mist, and its bluish-green sky. And below not all that far away were beautiful gardens.

On the train ride back to Tokyo, I kept looking out at the sunset, and at Mt. Fuji, it was a beautiful sight from the train.

(Back in Tokyo: July 10 and 11^th) At this point I was very tired of trying to smooth things out, walking on eggshells with Kikue. The subject of me staying longer came up again, and my plane was leaving tomorrow evening. We fought over that again and almost to the point of her leaving me in the hotel room alone, for me to find my own directions to wherever. I knew I had the ability to find my way to the airport, but why leave like this, it was an eerie night, not much said.

In the morning we went to the Tokyo Tower, it was built in 1957; we went to the top of it, I had been to the Eiffel Tower in Paris, and the Tokyo was built similar to that, although taller, matter of fact I had been to the restaurant at the Eiffel Tower trying to make reservations-it’s not easy.

It was a nice ending to a short visit to Japan; harmony seemed to take place as now she figured, once I left: what then? I’m sure that was on her mind. And she would have been right; I couldn’t say Sayonara, quick enough. I saw her from the plane looking out the glass window, estranged it all seemed. I figured I’d never see her again, I had made up my mind, our lives would just be in disharmony, and there was only inability within her family to try and balance East with West. It was a month later that her mother called me in Minnesota, and said she was sorry-she had learned some English evidently, it was clear. Anyhow she repeated that several times, and added how bad she felt about it. I knew though, people don’t change in a month, she was playing a game, perhaps she would have tried to interlace her feelings with the west for the sake of her daughter, even hang her old Japanese pictures alongside an American’s, who’s to say, but she was no more than a puppeteer and the puppet-as far as I figured it, and I had let go, and was not going to try and work out something that was unworkable.

#907 (4-16-2012)

Grays Harbor Ocean Beaches

The county boasts over 50 miles of sandy beaches. Some activities are permitted on these beaches that are not allowed further north in the national park: you may bring your dog on the beach, evening bonfires are allowed (150 feet away from any dune grass), and you may drive on the hard sand at the top of the beach in designated areas. Razor clam digging is allowed on limited dates designated by the Department of Ecology. From south to north, here are the highlights of Grays Harbor beaches:

Grays Harbor Lighthouse

Completed in 1898, this lighthouse is the tallest lighthouse in Washington State.

Westhaven State Park

The broad sandy beach, crumbling sand cliffs, and huge rocks of the South Jetty gives lots of possibilities for play. This park is the center of ocean surfing in the county.

Town of Westport in Grays Harbor

At the large marina, ocean fishing, whalewatching, and seabird viewing charters may be hired. A three storey viewing tower at the north end of town gives views of the marina, harbor, the South Jetty, and across to Ocean Shores.

Town of Ocean Shores in Grays Harbor

This is the largest resort town along the coast, filling up an 8 mile long peninsula. The highlights of the peninsula are Damon Point State Park for the harbor view and wildlife, the North Jetty where the big ocean waves roll in, the canals and Duck Lake where you can rent an electric party boat, horse rentals on the beach, and the Indian casino at the Quinault Beach Resort.Copalis Beach.

If you want an ocean beach all to yourself, try Griffiths-Priday Ocean State Park off the town of Copalis Beach. You have cross a stream on foot, which keeps the cars and crowds away. To the north down the Roosevelt Beach Road, you can drive onto the beach and reach two sights: 1.) Copalis Rock, an isolated seastack rock with a flock of seagulls nesting on top and 2.) Copalis State Airport, where planes land right on the sand – the only airport like it in the lower 48 states.

Highway 109

From Copalis Beach north the highway climbs up a bluff and winds through a beautiful, windswept forest with occasional peaks of the ocean. Along this route lie the towns of Seabrook, Pacific Beach, and Moclips. Seabrook is a brand-new, purpose-built vacation resort town with beautiful architecture. The town puts on community events open to visitors. Pacific Beach has kept a small retail core (groceries, gas, kites, coffee shop, restaurant, boutiques, and novelty antique store) and features Pacific Beach State Park with its campground, grassy dunes, and large creek disecting the beach. Moclips has the Museum of the North Beach, documenting the area’s history as a beach resort back to the early 1900’s.

Quinault Indian Nation

Highway 109 ends at Taholah, the main town of the Quinaults. A seafood processing plant is found here, where you can buy the unique blueback salmon of the Quinault River. At the administrative building you can buy a day pass to enjoy the tribal beaches. These include the rocky beach off of Taholah, where you can see the mouth of the Quinault River, the seastack rocks of Cape Elizabeth, and gigantic driftwood logs along the beach from fallen 200+ foot high spruce trees. At the south end of the reservation is the undiscovered gem of the coast, Point Grenville, with its collection of seastack rocks, hidden volcanic beach over a six foot rock wall, and offshore reef of volcanic rocks. These are the only volcanic rocks for hundreds of miles around.

Grays Harbor Wildlife

A lot of wildlife can be found along this coast, including: a flock of pelicans flying about the Westport South Jetty, deer all around Ocean Shores, blue heron on Duck Lake, the cutest white mottled baby seal at Damon Point State Park, eagles along the cliffs between Copalis and Pacific Beach, and flocks of seagulls and sandpipers up and down the coast.

Grays Harbor Lake Quinault

Lake Quinault lies within the southwest bounday of the Olympic National Park. Spend your first full day here by driving the loop around the lake and up into the upper Quinault river valley that is formed by the North Shore Road, South Shore Road, and Highway 101. Along this route you will find many attractions.

Lake Quinault History

The historic Lake Quinault Lodge was built in 1926 in an astonishing 53 days. It replaced the 1880’s Log Hotel that had burned down two years before. The lodge features an excellent restaurant, the Roosevelt Room – named for President Theodore Roosevelt, who visited in 1937. From the wide grassy lawn, you can enjoy a spectacular view of the lake. A lake trail, fire pit, and boat rentals are found at the lakeside.Along the North Shore Road, the park service is restoring the early 1900’s Kestner Homestead. A 3/4 mile loop trail takes you through a beautiful forest and opens out into the fields of the former farm. A dilapidated delivery truck rusting in a field and filled with vines is one of the more charming sights.

Grays Harbor Rain Forests

Near the Lake Quinault Lodge is the 1/2 mile Lake Forest Loop trail, which winds through a mossy forest of spruce, douglas fir, and cedar trees. An entirely different rain forest is found on the Kestner Homestead or “Maple Glade” trail mentioned above. This forest is also heavily moss laden, but the trees are primarily tall, big-leaf maples.

Ancient Trees in Grays Harbor

The Quinault area features six record-breaking trees of separate species. Two of the most accessible are the Quinault Big Cedar – a half mile hike from the North Shore Road and the Big Spruce just off the South Shore Road near Highway 101. The Big Cedar looks more like a ruin than a tree. It is scarcely alive – with just a few green branches high overhead. At ground level the tree is all rotted out and hollow. You can stand inside it, look up, and see daylight hundreds of feet overhead.

Mountain Views in Grays Harbor

Much of your view of the Olympics in this area is blocked by the tall trees and nearby hills, but the higher peaks can be viewed in a few places: 1.) from Highway 101 at the west end of the lake where there is currently a clear-cut opening in the trees where a fine view of the lake and the mountains beyond can be had; 2.) you can drive 10 miles on well-maintained dirt roads up to Higley Peak – many views of the snowy peaks can be seen along this road; and 3.) from the South Shore Road up in the river valley you can see some higher mountains.

Any trip to the barrier islands of Sanibel and Captiva in the Gulf of Mexico should include a visit to the J.N. “Ding” Darling National Wildlife Refuge. The Refuge is named for the political cartoonist, J. Ding Darling, who was ahead of his time in taking a keen interest in the environment. Darling fell in love with Sanibel Island and used his influence and political connections to protect the pristine wildlife and surrounding wetlands. Today, approximately 50% of Sanibel is part of the wildlife refuge, best known for its spectacular bird populations as well as the peaceful existence of many previously endangered species.

Darling’s background is almost as colorful as the Sanibel sunsets. Jay Norwood “Ding” Darling spent his early years exploring the prairies of Nebraska and South Dakota where his lifelong interest in animals and conservation began. Darling studied medicine at Beloit College in Wisconsin, although he was suspended several times for his pranks, including wicked cartoons satirizing the faculty. Despite his rough start, he was forever influenced by a favorite biology professor who taught him to view the world as a complete system.

Darling abandoned medicine when his career as a cartoonist took off. Nationally syndicated, Darling was famous for his witty drawings on a wide range of topics, starting in the early 1900s. The name “Ding” evolved from his pen name on his cartoons — created by combining the first initial of his name with the last three letters.

He published his first conservation cartoon during Teddy Roosevelt’s first term as president in 1901 in support of Roosevelt’s campaign for establishment of a forestry service. The two later became great friends. Darling authored two books and twice won the Pulitzer Prize for cartooning in 1923 and again in 1942. As an avid outdoorsman and bird watcher, Darling was most concerned with wildlife exploitation and the destruction of irreplaceable waterfowl habitat. He used the power of his pen to introduce Americans to environmental concerns.

In July 1934, President Franklin D. Roosevelt appointed “Ding” Darling as the Director of the U.S. Biological Survey, the forerunner of the U.S. Fish and Wildlife Service. In his 18 months as Director, Darling was known as “the best friend a duck ever had” due to his efforts in initiating the Federal Duck Stamp Program and design of the first duck stamp. The proceeds from the sale of these stamps were used to purchase wetlands for the protection of wildlife habitat and vastly increasing the acreage of the National Wildlife Refuge System. Darling also developed partnerships with state universities to train scientists in the emerging study of wildlife biology.

At Darling’s urging in 1945, President Harry S. Truman signed an Executive Order creating the Sanibel National Wildlife Refuge. Sanibel had long been one of Ding’s favorite bird-watching locations and he was anxious to protect it. In 1965, the refuge was renamed the J.N. “Ding” Darling National Wildlife Refuge in his honor. Today, the refuge consists of more than 6,400 acres of mangrove forest, part of the largest undeveloped mangrove ecosystem in the U.S. Approximately 2,800 acres are designated as a wilderness area to protect endangered and threatened species and to provide feeding, nesting and roosting areas for the more than 220 species of birds that make the refuge their home. December through March are considered the best months to visit for birding. In particular, the Center recommends coordinating a visit around a low tide when the birds are feeding on the exposed mud flats.

Visitors to the island rave about the 5+ mile nature trail that runs through the Wildlife Refuge. Along the trail, visitors often glimpse an alligator, night heron, or white ibis. For a $1 donation, nature enthusiasts can take the “Wildlife Drive Guide” and view a number of plants and rare birds from a shaded vehicle — a comfort in what can become a very steamy environment. Other recreational opportunities surrounding the refuge include fishing, boating, kayak/canoeing, bicycling, nature photography and of course, bird watching.

Founded in 1982, the Ding Wildlife Society funds many of the refuge’s educational initiatives, including the various brochures, directional and interpretive signs, and exhibits. It also makes larger educational projects possible, including the Education Center building and its exhibits, and many of the volunteer programs. And, true to its namesake’s original mission, the Society continues to purchase and preserve parcels of land for the refuge.

This week’s article is very dear to my heart since I will be focusing on one of my personal favourite body parts to train; so sharpen your pencils, sit up straight and get your notepad ready, I am going to shed some light on the black sheep of arm training – your Grip.

The stronger your grip, the stronger you are!

If grip training has not been a priority in your training regimen then I am sorry to tell you but you have not even begun tapping into your strength potential. No matter what upper body exercise you perform; the force your body generates is going to be transferred through your grip. To exert the most force onto the weights will require you to grip the bar as tight as humanly possible. Before we begin exploring all the different exercises that will make Donkey Kong proud of your grip (if you do not know who Donkey Kong is I feel a lot of sympathy for your deprived childhood) we must first discuss the different variations of grip training. Grip development begins by embracing the Holy Trinity of Grip Training: The Support, The Crush and The Pinch Grip. These are the three fundamental movements that will take your training to the next level.

The Support Grip:

Support grip is the most widely used type of grip; it is used so often every day of your life that it has become second nature to you. Pub night on a Thursday? Why not train your grip while you are at it – pick up that beer and hold it by your side; your mind can now focus its attention on all the smooth lines you are going to tell that lady across the bar; while across on the other side she is sipping her martini hoping he is not looking at her. Support grip does just that, it supports whatever it is you are holding. If holding onto a dumbbell while curling is causing you trouble then a weak support grip is the main culprit. Okay – so you have never seen anyone struggle holding a dumbbell while they curl – how about this one? How many times have you seen someone deadlift using straps? Lifting straps are an excellent tool to use in your training; they allow you to move weight your grip cannot hold onto. However, all too often lifters begin using straps prematurely and are neglecting their grip. In the grand scheme of things:

You cannot lift what you cannot hold!

That right there should be the reason to start working on your support grip. Want to know what the best part of support grip training is? You do not need to focus on the training – kind of. Go about doing the exercises you normally do: deadlifts, walking lunges, farmers walks, shrugs – dumbbell and barbell and pull-ups (lots and lots of pull-ups). Revolutionary, isn’t it? What I do require of you is to try to use the weakest hand positions first and move onto tougher positions when your grip gives out. Below I outline the hierarchy of grips: start with number 1 for as heavy as possible and move onto the stronger positions when the weight becomes too heavy.

1. Double Overhand

2. Hook Grip*

3. Mixed Grip

4. Double Overhand with lifting straps

*Hook grip can be very painful on the thumbs so you can skip this and move on to Mixed Grip

To make all these grips more effective you will need to invest in lifting chalk – for a couple of dollars you will be shocked at how much stronger your grip becomes. Most fitness supply stores should carry lifting chalk, unfortunately they are overpriced – visit a camping or outdoor equipment store and check the rock climbing section; climbing chalk is the same as lifting chalk but at a fraction of the cost. Sweaty hands are a thing of the past. Lifting chalk or the technical name, Magnesium Carbonate absorbs the moisture from our palms and allows for a nice steady grip.

Want even more of a challenge? Try doing your pulling exercises on a fat bar – this will bring you Support Grip you never knew existed.

The Crush Grip:

We all remember the tough guy in all 1980s high school movies – to show his dominance he crushes an empty pop can with his bare hands – very intimidating. Crushing is the motion of closing your fingers into the palm creating a fist. Go on and squeeze as if your life depended on it, the harder you squeeze the more force you are transferring into the squeeze-ee – in our case the barbell or dumbbell. Think crushing grip does not have much relevance in pressing and squatting? Next time you attempt a max lift on bench press – have no mercy, grab onto that bar and show it who’s boss; imagine yourself squeezing so tight that the bar shatters into particles of dust – and guess what will happen, that weight will fly up. The same thing with squats; obviously your grip is going to have minimal contribution to your lift but that minimal contribution could mean the difference between a 495 pound squat and a 500 pound squat – which number looks better?

To have a strong crushing grip you will have to train for a strong crushing grip and the best way to do that is to get a set of hand grippers. I am not talking about those grippers you get at Wal-Mart; I am talking about the stuff the World’s Strongest Man uses, grippers that will make you cry: Ironmind’s Captains of Crush Grippers. Before you begin thinking this article is a sales pitch, I would like to express that I am not sponsored by any company and any recommendations made for any product are based on my experiences using said products. There are many other reputable companies that offer heavy grippers but the Captains of Crush are the Rolls Royce of hand grippers – and we work out with class. The chart below shows the resistances offered by the Captains of Crush*:

Guide: 60 pounds

Sport: 80 pounds

Trainer: 100 pounds

CoC No. 0.5: 120 pounds

CoC No. 1: 140 pounds

CoC No. 1.5: 67.5 pounds

CoC No. 2: 195 pounds

CoC No. 2.5: 237.5 pounds

CoC No. 3: 280 pounds

CoC No. 3.5: 322.5 pounds

CoC No. 4: 365 pounds

*Source: http://ironmind.com/ironmind/opencms/Main/captainsofcrush.html

For you big boys out there Ironmind has a strength certification for any male who can close the number 3, 3.5 and 4 and any female who can close the number 2 under their specific guidelines. Think you have what it takes? Only 5 people have officially closed the number 4 – EVER. The certification is no joke: there is an application process and a referee will oversee you close the gripper. I would like to reiterate that there are other companies who manufacture heavy grippers but Ironmind has built the best reputation.

Captains of Crush Trainer to 4

Training your crushing grip is like training any other muscle; would you attempt to squat a personal best without warming up? I didn’t think so, and hand grippers are no different. Do a few warm-up sets and then move to your working sets. Give your forearms the same respect that you give your chest – allow ample time to rest, vary rep ranges and most importantly have pride when you hit a new personal best.

The Pinch Grip:

The Pinch Grip is the most under-developed variation in grip training; why? Pinch Grip is ugly duck; it is overlooked, ignored and forgotten about. But not us – we believe in equality – we know that having a strong Pinch Grip will carry over to stronger Support and Crush Grip. Pinch grip can be trained in two ways: bringing your fingers together and by spreading your fingers apart. There are special tools and gadgets you can buy and make specific to pinch grip but I do not believe they are needed. You can find all you need in any gym and even in your kitchen drawer. Depending on the type of weight plates your gym has there are two ways you can work on the fingers together aspect.

Method 1: Grab two weight plates – I should hope that it goes without saying, grab the same size weight – and place them face to face to create a weight sandwich. Using the tips of your fingers and thumb hold the weight together; Start off using both hands to squeeze the plates together and then work your way up to supporting the weight with one hand. You have a world class pinch grip when you can hold four 45 pound plates for time (two plates per hand).

Method 2: This can only be done if your gym has the fatter style weight plates. Place the plate on the ground and wrap your finger tips around the centre lip. While holding on tight try to lift the weight off the ground. This exercise is A LOT harder than it looks – 25 pound plate is an achievable strength level – lifting a 45 pound plate is elite.

The opposite of fingers together is spreading your fingers apart – obviously. The simplest way to strengthen your fingers is to perform finger tip planks or finger tip push-ups. By supporting your weight on your finger tips will strengthen your finger extensor. Be warned if you are new to this it WILL hurt your fingers until you get stronger. Start by holding the position for a couple of seconds and build up from there. Eventually, you can build up enough strength to start using fewer fingers.

I can understand if some of you are hesitant to try finger tip supports as it is painful; however, all is not lost. This method requires nothing but an elastic band. Place the band around your finger nails and open your hand as wide as possible; the elastic band will provide resistance. If one band does not provide adequate resistance double or even triple it up.

Arm training should encompass your entire arm; do not get caught up with your show muscles and neglect your grip. Most of the exercises I outlined above can be done at home or even at work so there is no excuse for you to have a lackluster grip. I recommend you train each of the three variations on different days of the week adding in a couple exercises at the end of your workout.

Until next time,

Nas

How is the customer service at your business? Are your associates well- trained and do they work as a team? Are they knowledgeable and eager to share the information on your products?

Visit to an Apple Store:

Last weekend my husband and I went to the Apple store in MacArthur Center in Norfolk, Virginia at 11am to purchase several Apple products we had researched. The store was very crowded with customers when we arrived.

At the door of the Apple store, an Associate wearing an Apple logo shirt, greeted us with a smile of welcome, and remembered us from our last visit. She tapped in our name into her Apple phone screen sending an email to another associate to assist us.

A minute later, one of the 11 associates in the store, smiled, and asked us what we needed after shaking our hands and introducing themselves. When the associate didn’t know the answer they quickly excused themselves and asked another associate for assistance and came back with the information within two minutes.

We made our purchases in less than 15 minutes. We bought an Apple TV Package, a cable to connect the Apple TV, and an Apple watch band.

What 3 things made the customer service a “Home Run” for us?

1) We immediately liked our sales associate with their positive attitude and trusted them.

2) The sales associate “listened” to what we wanted and needed in the Apple product and told us the benefits of the product and how much it would cost. The sales associate had the solution to our problem.

3) The associate had a passion and eagerness to share their knowledge of their Apple products with us. The associate knew everything about their products and if they did not know the answer to our question they quickly excused themselves and asked another associate for assistance and came back with the information within two minutes.

What are three steps you need at your business to have “Home Run” customer service?

1) Your well-trained associates “greet” your customers at the door with a smile, wearing your store uniform to identify them, (Apple logo on shirt), introduce themselves, ask for your customers name, shake their hand, and ask what service the customer needs.

2) Your associates eagerly and politely assist your customers as quickly as possible. We were assisted within “a minute”. When your associate does not know the answer to your customers question, they quickly excuse themselves, and ask another associate for assistance and come back with the information within two minutes.

3) You business should have enough well-trained associates to help your customers. There were 11 well-trained associates at the Apple Store each in charge of different aspects of the sale. One associate brought the products to us. The well- trained associates at the Apple worked together as a team.

To have “Home Run” customer service at your business just like the Apple Store, train your associates following the above 3 steps and your business will have “Home Run ” customer service too!

In California there are oral sex classes where the learning process is taking place with the help of plums and candy. In England there is a school where a young girl is acting as a practice material. That would be great to attend one of those schools, but for those of us who are not planning to put that on the agenda any time soon here are the ten simple rules, which are very useful when applied in practice.

1. Warm-up lap. The more energy and time you spend preparing your girlfriend for cunnilingus, or oral sex, the more results your efforts will bring. A bubble bath with rubber toys (not a vibrator, just regular ducks!) can serve as such preparation. Let her get into the bath and blissfully remain motionless. After a couple of minutes you can bust in there yourself, take off your underwear, yell out: “Look who is here” and jump into the water. Then start with a light and unobtrusive petting: stroking, kissing, and massaging.

2. Once the underwear is gone. After you dry up after the bath, proceed to creating an intimate atmosphere. Everything like in romantic movies: candles, semidarkness, clean bed sheets. The essential condition of an orgasm is a long and right foreplay. When she starts to passionately rip the clothes off herself, lay her in bed determinately, plant a long kiss on her lips and then go down south.

3. Clitoris science. We are not going to go over what clitoris is and where it can be found. We will just make a note of the fact that girls are not mass produced at some factory, they are all very different, and their sexual physiology is not an exception. Some have their clitoris higher, some have it lower, some have their clitoris deep in skin folds, and some have it stick outside. In other words, there is no single universal approach for all girls. Obviously, the sensitivity is also different for everyone – the deeper the clitoris is hidden, the less it is in contact with the outside world and the more tender and thorough treatment it requires. The main thing is not to attack a newly found clitoris as a five-year-old boy who just got a robot-transformer. Start with slight tongue movements along the labia and around the clitoris, gradually constricting the radius of action until you are on the home straight. When your tongue is concentrating on the clitoris, use one hand to caress her breast, and the fingers of the other hand to slowly enter the vagina.

4. Power of silence. The best way to find out if you are acting right is to talk to the girl. Of course if you ask her she will say: “Yes, I feel great” or she may not say anything at all. Therefore ask her to take your hand into hers and masturbate with her hand so that you could feel what movements and where she likes the best.

5. Broaden the horizons. A clitoris is not a magical button that guarantees an orgasm. Do not concentrate too much on it, because it can actually be painful for her. There are a lot of other interesting things down there. You should broaden the area of applying your mouth and fingers. In fact what we are used to calling the clitoris is in reality just the head of the clitoris. The clitoris’ shape actually resembles the penis, except for its body is not outside but inside under the so-called hood. Feel about for the clitoris and squeeze it together with the top endings of the labia between your fingers. You will feel something resembling a wire – this is the body of the clitoris. Try to masturbate it like you would your own penis, only much slower and more careful. She will experience completely special and incomparable sensations that she is unlikely to have experienced ever before. Now you can rightfully demand a generous reward from her.

6. Tongue fitness. Your tongue is a muscle, and just like all the other muscles it can get tired from intensive work. Therefore it does need training. Try to keep these exercises a secret from your girlfriend.

Exercise #1. Take a ripe plum and squeeze it between your palms. Try to crack it and get the stone out of it with your tongue. The tongue’s movements should at least roughly resemble those that you perform during cunnilingus. The goal is not only the strength, but the skill also.

Exercise #2. Take the “Tic Tac” drops, squeeze one between your lips and start to suck it into your mouth and let it go back. Your goal is to achieve the maximum range of motion so that the drop would at the same time remain squeezed between your lips. When you master this trick, add the tongue and lick the drop with circle motions.

Exercise #3. Squeeze any round lollipop with your teeth and try to drill (or to be more exact lick) a hole in it with your tongue.

7. I will give you a slapping. Many of us think that the clitoris can only be licked and rubbed. With all our heart we feel sorry for those boring and limited people. Put your palm on her pubis with your fingers facing down and slap the clitoris gently with your index finger. This will cause a flow of blood and will increase her sensitivity. Keep in mind that you can do it not only with your finger but with your tongue also. After 15-20 seconds change the tactics. For example, move the skin folds adjoined to the clitoris apart put your finger on the clitoris and start rotate it as a joystick. One more option that is also good for the beginning is to fully strip the clitoris and blow (or breathe) on it, after which you can proceed to your normal procedures with your tongue or wet finger.

8. Let’s go! It’s time to show the whole power of your tongue. Its muscles are very active and mobile but very few people use all of its capabilities. As a rule a lot of people limit themselves to unoriginal movements of the tip of the tongue. You should try something different. Run the wide middle part of your tongue over the labia so that you could completely cover it. Do several motions like that and then focus on the clitoris area and massage it with the tip of your tongue. Now try alternating these motions. Gradually concentrate your attention on the clitoris more and more. In order to diversify your entertainment program, flex your tongue as hard as you can and try to insert it into her vagina.

9. The main reflex. Remember exercise #2 with the “Tic Tac” drop? It’s time to use this trick on a girl. Part the skin folds on the vagina as much as you can so that the clitoris was naked, take it with your lips and slightly pull it in. Then the same way as described in exercise #2 add the tongue. The main thing is being very tender and careful. Before this of course get her ready by using techniques from point 8.

10. Happy end. Watch her hips movements. But only watch, do not copy them. By moving she is trying to adapt to your movements’ rhythm and to position herself in the most comfortable and pleasant way. Just keep going the same thing in the same rhythm. Change one movement with another only when she is still. Do not clutch at her feet or anything else with your hands, give her the maximum freedom of movement. You can put your hand on her stomach: the flexed abs is the first sign of the oncoming orgasm. At this point you should forget about any experiments and keep doing what you’ve been doing up to this point – in the same rhythm and in the same range. When she reaches the long-awaited orgasm (most likely you are going to feel it either by the muscle contractions or by the deep breathing, or by the moans and cramps) – wait until it is over and stop. You do not need to do anything else, otherwise you will cause her unpleasant sensations.

Now you can relax your tongue and stretch out on the couch. It’s her turn!

There seems to be an obsession with poultry in the trucking industry. No, I’m not talking about chicken fried steak, I’m talking about Chicken Trucks and Chicken Coops and all kinds of other chicken-related terms in the truckers’ vocabulary.

The general public may not know about it, but truckers talk turkey a lot.

Anyone who has ever listened to the CB radio knows that truckers have a language all their own. If a rookie driver or a vacationer dares to tread on the truckers’ territory, he’ll find out quickly that he isn’t one of the flock yet. It’s what you say and how you say it that gives you away.

Truckers have their own way of talking. It’s not diesel fuel, it’s go-go juice. It’s not a logbook, it’s a comic book. It’s not a rest area, it’s a pickle park.

But the trucking terms that revolve around poultry will blow your feathers off.

A good-looking big rig with a lot of lights is called a chicken truck or a rooster cruiser. The yellow lights on the side of the truck are called chicken lights if there are a lot of them. A convoy of trucks moving fast in the left lane of the freeway is called a left lane chicken train. A truck weigh station is called a chicken coop (when it is closed, they’ll say Chicken Loose On Scale, Entry Denied).

It doesn’t stop there.

Orange barrels in a construction zone are called Schneider eggs (Schneider Trucking is a similar orange color to the barrels). If drivers are warning others on the cb about a DOT inspection ahead, they will tell them to get all their ducks in a row. If something is good, it’s chicken lickin’ good. And, of course, there ain’t no feeling like chicken-mobiling.

The Colonel would be proud.

All this chicken chatter goes back to the early days of trucking when the chicken haulers had to… well… haul beak to get the chickens from point A to point B before they died. These guys had top notch equipment and got their loads there fast. They had a reputation back in the day and their legend still influences trucking today, though many don’t know that they are the source.

The chicken trucks of today generally aren’t hauling chickens. They haul beef, produce, furniture, cars and other freight, but they harken back to a day when the trucking was fast, the freight was feathery and the trucking jobs were the stuff of fantasy.