Redundancy, losing money in the stock market, no longer being able to pay the mortgage, broken marriage… all these scenarios are common in the current economical, societal and financial situation. Many of you who read this article will either have personally experienced hardship or know someone close who has. This article is not about offering quick solutions but about finding inspired actions in times of challenge and distress.

Drastic situation – inspired actions

This week my husband told me of a man in his forties standing at the side of the road on a major route into the city of Sydney, dressed in a business suit holding up a sign saying: ‘Work wanted – experienced in…, education in… – call me [phone number]. This shows an example of ‘inspired action in times of distress.’

Thinking outside of the box

In my clinic I work with clients in distress and their stories are no longer surprising to me. What I continuously find astonishing is the potential for finding new solutions, even if they are totally out of the norm. The story of this man standing at the side of the road tells me that he must have been thinking outside of the box.

Finding new territory

How do you find those solutions? It is by leaving behind your comfort zone. Inside your comfort zone are the potential solutions that you have seen, heard and tried before. They might have worked in the past; however they might be outdated by now. Often clients get stuck in their comfort zone because, as the name says, you have to step out into the unknown, into the ‘discomfort zone’ to access more, new, fresh stuff.

There is good news about leaving your comfort zone: It’s the very thing that helps you grow, personally, psychologically, mentally… on all levels (besides your body size or height). The key is that in order to find the solution to a problem we have to raise above the level of consciousness that brought about the issue.

Work wanted

In the case of our inspiring man I hope he found or will find paid work. What I would like to tell him is that he has inspired many people who drove past him that morning, inspired them to think outside the box and to look for new ways to make things happen. In some way he has given many people work in re-thinking their strategies of complaining about their current job but not doing anything about it or resting on the couch and hiding behind excuses.

And he definitely inspired me to write this article. Thank you!

When people think of stress, they usually think of it as a bad thing, certainly not good thing, but stress can actually be beneficial. Stress is classified into three types: Eustress, Neustress and Distress. They differ on how they affect a person or individual. Let’s tackle them one by one.

Eustress is the good kind of stress. It is stress that gives motivation and inspiration. This stress arises from many situations. For example, being promoted or winning a new job gives a person a bit of stress in the sense that they will have to adjust to new working conditions as well as create new relationships with new co-workers together with job performance expectations. It is, however, a good stress in that it gives you motivation to do your job well and the promotion or job offer itself serves as a reward or a prize for the hard work you have done.

The second type of stress is distress. It is basically the complete opposite of Eustress in terms of its effect on an individual. This type of stress causes ill effects to a person and is what people usually refer to when talking about stress. If someone is talking about stress it is almost always concerned with negative distress. Distress causes despair, grief, and sadness or more simply it disturbs the equilibrium of the body. An example of a stressor that can cause distress is the death of a spouse, major medical difficulties or some major loss of property or position. At its worst it will certainly cause grief and depression and will often be a life changing event.

The last type of stressor is called neustress. Neustress comes from the prefix ‘neu’ meaning neutral and is basically a type of stress that lies in the neutral reaction zone. It is a stress that doesn’t cause any particular harm or grief to the individual to the extent that it causes distress. Nor is it necessarily positive or a motivating change stress.

For an example imagine a person at a store overhearing someone else’s conversation. That person may be talking about their son’s sickness or misfortune or even death with their friend. While a person may react to it and feel sympathy to the person concerned but it will only last moments and it will not affect the person in a either a negative or in a positive way, certainly not in the same way or to the same extent that knowing the person concerned would affect them and therefore it is considered a neutral impact. Simply put, think of it as a judge hearing out a case of murder, the judge doesn’t take sides but only views the facts and decide what’s right and just.

The ultimate impact though of the types of stress you are experiencing comes down to how you perceive or see the stressor, in light of your own opinions and world view. What hardly affects one person at all but have a great impact on another. Whether you take an event as good, bad or neutral is… well… at the end of the day… up to you.

For a unique look, many homeowners are mixing distressed furniture with current modern styles.

Before you go throwing away your old dining room or bedroom sets, reconsider by refinishing it. Distressed furniture can be very expensive to buy so why not create it yourself with a little imagination and some TLC. This step by step guide will give you some helpful tips that the pros use when distressing furniture.

1. Sand: Sand down the finish on your piece so the primer/paint has something to adhere to. Use medium/fine grit sandpaper for this.

2. Rough up surface: Take a few tools (hammer, screw driver, chain, etc.) and rough up the surface of the piece. This is left up to your discretion of how distressed you want to make the furniture. The more you rough up the surface the more aged the piece appears.

3.Prime: Use a good quality white primer and give the piece of furniture a thin coat. After the piece has dried, follow up with a light sanding.

4. Top coat: Pick a top coat that complements the room. If you want to stay neutral, then go with whites/off whites. Apply two even coats of this top coat. Sometimes, homeowners will request a crackle finish in which the top coat appears as if the paint has dried and is starting to chip away. For a crackle finish read the steps below:

a. Follow steps 1-3.

b. Optional Base coat: Get Creative!! If you do not want the piece to show white crackle from primer coat, then now is the time to be creative. You can apply a different base coat which will show behind the top coat when the crackle takes effect.

c. Apply crackle glaze where you want the top coat to crackle. Allow to dry according to directions on package. This is usually a clear glaze sold at your local home center.

d. Top Coat: Apply top coat evenly (try not to over brush which may cause paint to drag). This top coat should be a different shade then the primer/base coat to make the crackle stand out.

e. Continue the follow steps below.

5. Optional Glaze coat: After the piece has thoroughly dried, apply a glaze over the entire piece. This step is optional but recommended. This glaze (usually dark brown/grey) when applied, highlights all of the roughed up areas (step 2) and really brings out the details in the piece. The best way to apply the glaze, is with a brush and then wipe off the excess with a rag. Wipe with even pressure (in one direction).

6. Apply a seal coat: Water based Poly works good for this. Apply 2-3 thin coats of this product according to the manufacturer’s recommendation and do not forget to sand in between coats. This step will protect all of your hard work.

Now step back and enjoy your newly antiqued furniture. You will be amazed at the results and how quick and easy you have changed the look of your room. Take your time & most importantly be creative with this!!

A few days ago a beautiful small female dog was brought to a precinct scared and shivering. A good Samaritan witnessed the dog being abused by youngsters in a park and brought her to the nearest precinct. They were kicking her and bullying her. It was heartbreaking to see the tears in the dog’s eyes as she sat there on the floor in the precinct in pain and bewilderment. We can only imagine what thoughts were going through her mind. Maybe she sat there wondering what has she done to those young individuals for them to abuse her like that. Because animals cannot verbally tell us their feelings we have to observe their behavior, facial expressions, and actions. Animals have feelings just like human beings; they feel pain, and know fear.

It is unfortunate, but every day there is a pet that is being abused by their owner. Or a pet has been abandoned by their owner, or they stray the streets until they passed away. Others have been fortunate, where they are rescued by animal centers and animal shelters, and nursed back to health and adopted by caring individuals. Some animals have been euthanized because they were in the shelters too long.

Just recently a man was charged with beating his girlfriend’s poodle to death. The autopsy divulged that the dog had nine broken ribs, a pulverized kidney, and immense internal bleeding.

There are a lot of individuals who would probably love to adopt a pet but they do not have the space or financial means to maintain the up keep. I urge everyone who is in a position to care for those animals to please consider adopting one before it is too late. Here are a couple of websites to their stories: https://www.facebook.com/Urgentdeathrowdogs/, and https://www.facebook.com/SecondChanceRescueNycDogs/. Sadly, not every animal has a happy ending when they are placed in shelters and centers.

It is a known fact that dogs have been breed for fighting. Some of those animals did not survive their torture. Pets have been beaten to the point where you would not believe it is the same animal you knew before their torment. Animals should not be subjected to such cruelty by the hands of human beings. Imagine being the other species; you are in a vulnerable situation but you cannot speak. And your only hope is that someone will observe the situation, and connect the pieces together. You know that until the abuser is exposed you will continue to suffer silently. I ask the question, is this really fair to the animals? I believe that individuals who partake in animal cruelty should understand the nature of the crime. One should know that it is punishable under the law. Although, the punishment may vary from state to state, the classifications of a misdemeanor and felony for crimes against animals remains the same. Both are subjected to a fine and or a prison sentence. The length of time depends on the severity of the crime.

Ironically, some researchers have linked a connection between cruelty to animals in childhood and early adolescence with adult violent criminal behavior. Many individuals have argued that the violence started from somewhere. However, trying to pin point exactly where their anger occurred would be difficult to ascertain without a psychological evaluation. Based on studies, and observations there are valid theories that there can be a reduction in animal cruelty by just getting to the root of the tortured souls of those individuals. Until then some animals will continue to remain in distress until someone successfully connections the pieces.

With all that has to happen in the womb, it’s amazing that anyone is ever born at all.

~Coleman Haggerty, CP~

William was born in the usual way to the delight of his family, relatives and their friends. He appeared as a beautiful baby boy and everyone rejoiced. On his second day of life a nurse found him gray and crying in a high-pitched tone indicating distress. His caregivers switched into emergency mode and immediately transferred him to the Neonatal Intensive Care Unit. The staff closely monitored him and conducted tests to rule out the most likely reasons for his distress. The tests were all came back normal. He stabilized and returned to looking and acting like a healthy baby.

When a baby is born we all expect or at least hope that no difficulties will arise. When a crisis arises for a newborn, we suddenly face the fragility of life. Babies are delicate and need a great deal of protection. We all accept that. But how do we react when a baby is faced with an unknown threat? We want to do what we can but we don’t know what we can do. We are left to rely on the medical experts and prayers to God to help the baby through the crisis.

I once heard a sermon by Father Brendan Breen reminding us that whatever we do ripples out through the world with effects on everyone. We obviously do not affect the whole world directly. What we do, good or bad, affects those who come into contact with us. Our actions affect those in contact with us and modify their outlook on life and their actions toward others, again for better or worse. Then those we have affected pass on to others what they have gained or lost from their experience with us. In that way we are all connected, even though we will never meet most of the people we affect indirectly.

As I just mentioned, we tend to see babies as fragile and helpless. Yet William has already had a wide-reaching effect on many people most of whom he will never meet. As word of his distress spread from his family to relatives and friends, others who were told of him gained an opportunity to turn their thoughts and prayers in his direction. All of these people got a chance to consider the fragility, wonder and connection with others we all share.

Thank you William for helping all of us to stay connected and human. Good health to you. We look forward to seeing how the rest of your life enriches us.

Life Lab Lessons

• Treasure the lives of those you love.
• Show them you care every chance you get.
• Care for yourself. You are precious to others.
• Care for people you don’t know when you have the chance.
• Remember that we are all part of the human community.