When is a scam not a scam?

When it is a bank that operates it, and the government supports it.

Do you know what a scam is? In the Cambridge English Dictionary, a scam is defined as “an illegal plan for making money, especially one that involves tricking people”.

Do you know that the government is protecting the banks legally in operating a scam where the banks assign all the risks, accountability and responsibilities to the consumer but not themselves?

We all do Internet banking. When we pay someone and transfer money into their account, we have to provide the following details: the name of the Account, BSB number and the Account number. There is a warning given to ensure the details are correct, and the bank will not be liable for any mistake made by the consumer. Despite this warning, we all believe that the bank will transfer the money into the correct account name; otherwise, why should they ask for an account’s name?

If the customer made a mistake, then one would agree the bank should not be liable as they have given you a warning. But what happens when the customer is not at fault but the internal transfer system between banks is at fault? Who is liable?

Let me give you an example of a recent case where a consumer receives a fraudulent email from her financial advisor where to transfer funds. In it, the fraudster changed only the banking details. Everything, including the transfer name, remained the same. Unwittingly, the transfer of funds took place. The following day the financial advisor rings to tell her that the money was transferred into the wrong account and a different bank. Her bank was immediately alerted about this fraudulent transaction, and eventually, 80% of the funds were recovered. She incurred a loss of 20%.

It is a case where the customer is a victim who was unaware of a change in banking details. What the customer did or did not do, did not influence the outcome of the case. The fraudster knew that the banks do not match account names and exploited the internal system of funds transfer between banks. Is the bank responsible for this loss? Is it negligent not protecting the consumer’s interest by not having proper security measures installed? The bank knew about this weakness in their security system, which is the reason for their warning. The bank denies all liability, and the matter is taken to AFCA (Australian Financial Complaints Authority) for resolution.

After months of deliberation, AFCA ruled in the bank’s favour. It said that the bank had no legal obligation to match accounts and check where the money goes. Thus we have a situation where the banks cannot be held legally liable for any internal transfer of funds between banks. If that is the case, the question arises, who is? Are the laws meant to protect the consumers or the banks?

This case exposes a hole in the bank’s security system where the fraudsters, money launderers etc., are having a field day. There is no protection for the consumer. The banks are safe in just warning their customers about this hole. They are not legally required to put barriers around the hole, so some unfortunate unwary customer like the one above does not fall in it. They are saying we take every care, but no responsibility and the government supports their stance.

Clearly, the government is giving preferential treatment to the banking industry when it comes to consumer protection. The same treatment does not apply to other sectors such as the medical profession, where doctors are often being held responsible for matters beyond their control. How would you feel if the surgeon, with the backing of the government, warns you about your operation by saying, “I will take every care, but no responsibility for any swab left behind”? Wouldn’t you treat the consumer laws protecting you as a big joke?

So the question arises that if the bank is not legally liable for any internal transfer of funds between banks, who is? How is the consumer protected? It seems no one is interested in plugging this hole in the security system because everyone, except the hapless consumer, is complicit in making money out of it.

How ironic that AFCA, the authority established to handle consumer complaints, cannot answer these fundamental questions.

After, over 15 years, as a Real Estate Licensed Salesperson, in the State of New York, I have never witnessed, any housing market, which behaved, the way, we are currently experiencing! I have seen Sellers, Buyers, and Neutral Markets, but today’s activity, and dramatic increase in pricing, and activity, seems unique! Probably, a combination of recent events, including: pandemic – fatigue (some, wanting to make changes, because of the horrific year, and its impacts); record – low mortgage rates; a prolonged period of limited inventory; etc, are significant factors, creating this overall – effect! Although home prices are, at record – highs, is this the time, for you, to sell your house? With, that in mind, this article will attempt to, briefly, consider, review, examine, and discuss, 4 significant considerations, and why it matters.

1. Are you relocating?: Remember, it’s not only your house, but, most of them, which are experiencing escalating pricing, and demand! Therefore, if you sell yours, it’s very important, to fully consider, where you may move – to, and, why! Since, housing, in some regions, costs more, than, in others, if you are moving, to one of the lower – priced, areas, now, may be a great selling – opportunity! However, if, you are simply, trying to market – time, if it, simultaneously, costs a traditionally – high, amount, to buy your next house, it may not be, as much! Ask yourself, if you would be moving, if these conditions didn’t exist! Will you be able to earn a competitive wage/ salary, in your new location! It never makes sense, to act, rashly?

2. Your personal situation/ life, etc: Each of us, are individuals, with specific, personal needs, goals, priorities, and perceptions! How much do you enjoy, where you currently reside, and would, moving, give you similar enjoyment? No matter how much, you might profit, be careful, to avoid, selling, merely, to make a profit, with considering, all relevant factors!

3. If you sell high, won’t you, also, have to buy, at a higher price?: Depending, on your plans, and, where you move, and what you seek, if you relocate, to an area, where real estate pricing, is increasing, at a similar rate, and costs, a similar amount, what do you gain? However, if you are planning, to, either, rent, or move, to an area, where home prices, are, significantly lower, overall, it might make sense, if you consider, the bigger – picture!

4. Don’t try to market – time!: Although, you might, be successful, it is rarely, a good strategy, to attempt to market – time, unless/ until, you fully consider, all relevant factors, circumstances, and foreseeable possibilities! How long, will this specific, real estate market, continue, and how far, will it go? What are the potential, future, possibilities/ contingencies?

Wise home sellers, are fully prepared, for their next steps, after, selling! Are you willing to proceed, in the wisest – possible way?

Have you ever changed school, moved home, left one job for another and realised that by doing so you’re starting again and leaving all your friends behind? Going away to university, getting divorced, moving on are often exciting times but can be full of trepidation nonetheless.

Whilst we may have considered many factors the impact on our friendship groups may be something we didn’t fully appreciate until much later down the line.

Starting again can be an apprehensive time anyway; having to learn where everything is, where we’re supposed to be, what we should be doing. There can be a lot to remember and doing these things alone can make everything so much harder. Missing out on having a friendly, familiar face to share a coffee and a chat with can make the first few self-conscious months quite an awkward and lonely time.

Friends can be a source of comfort and safety, a hug in times of upset. But true friends also care enough to give us a nudge too when needed, encouraging us to move on and keep going, rather than allowing us to feel sorry for ourselves for too long.

Here are a few tips for when we’re starting again and asking, ‘where are my friends?’

– Look after yourself. Starting again can mean that others have already established their friendship groups. If you’re the new kid on the block it’s important not to appear desperate to make friends. Look after yourself. You may well have been through tough times on your way to starting out afresh or are feeling vulnerable at having left home for the first time. The thought of making an effort to get up, dress up and turn up may be daunting.

– Start by being kind to yourself and commit to eating healthily, getting regular sleep and plenty of fresh air. There are times when you’ve been the new kid before so remind yourself that things do tend to work out fine in the end.

– It may be that a good first step is to move into a house share whilst you find your feet. Other occupants may be in a similar position to you and so you’re able to provide each other with mutual support. A house share can offer a little security: there’s often someone around to talk to, as well as being available for friendship. Or moving in with family or friends can ease the financial pressure and provide a temporary buffer.

– Some situations are already conducive to meeting new friends. Shared accommodation, work, special interest groups, parents’ associations can offer convenient ways to meet and connect. But for others having no friends and starting again requires the effort to be proactive and identify places where kindred spirits may go. Joining a gym, dance class, using public transport, even walking the dog at regular times often means bumping into the same people on a regular basis. A friendly smile or nod of recognition can gradually evolve into a comfortable conversation and potential friendship.

– Keep in touch with your old circle of friends through social media, the web, what’s app groups and regular calls. Even if those times make you feel homesick or are a little upsetting continue with the contact and find ways to remain interested in each other’s lives. Maybe schedule a regular call for a proper chat so that you can settle down with a brew and stay in close contact, especially at first.

– Make invitations. Take it steady, make an effort and start by suggesting a coffee and a chat. If money is a factor you could invite them to yours for a bite of supper, pamper evening or games night. Don’t take rejection personally and instead be interested in getting to know new people, in learning about them and their lives.

– Gradually familiarise yourself with what’s happening locally. If you hear of something appealing or of general interest why not tentatively suggest an outing to some of your new circle? It’s a good way of getting to know people.

– Accept invitations. Don’t prejudge what you’ll like or how you’ll feel about ‘everyone else’. Go along, relax and be friendly for a few hours in their company doing something different. You may choose to never again repeat the experience, but even so, you’ve made some new contacts.

– Ask for help. It’s can be tempting to slip into a ‘not wanting to be a nuisance or burden’ mentality but asking for help can build bridges into new relationships. Remaining private and keeping your insecurities quietly to yourself may be misconstrued as coping, that you’re unwilling to share with others or are even unfriendly. Keep your own counsel but also be prepared to connect and let others in.

Starting again can be challenging, but by relaxing, being friendly and interested it’s often enough to ensure that before long you’ll have established yourself with plenty of new friends to enjoy.

The Law of Large Numbers is a pivotal success secret inasmuch as it says:

(1) Do enough of anything and you’ll succeed;

(2) Do more and you’ll prosper, and outdo even that amount and

(3) You’ll become a legend.

We’ve seen how this operates in all walks of life.

As with so many success principles, the LLN seems particularly apt in sports. Just yesterday, I read this quote from mighty basketball great, Michael Jordan:

“I’ve missed more than 9000 shots in my career. I’ve lost almost 300 games. 26 times, I’ve been trusted to take the game winning shot and missed. I’ve failed over and over and over again in my life. And that is why I succeed.”

If you don’t try, you can’t win. Try more and more and even more than that and you’ll become a performer whose feats are celebrated forever.

Having said this let me temper The Law of Large Numbers with this admonition:

IT ONLY TAKES ONE TO SUCCEED!

This is a critical corollary to the LLN. Yes, you have to make many attempts, but if you sink that final shot at the buzzer, JUST THAT ONE SHOT, you’ll come up a game winner.

The key is to stay in contention long enough to be competitive, to spot your opening when it occurs and to seize the chance-these things position you for victory.

Let’s say you’re a salesperson and you’ve gone for days, weeks or months without closing a deal. This happens, by the way, more often than you might think, especially in the course of long careers.

You’re in a slump, period.

How do you dig your way out? You do it with repeated efforts, a LLN campaign, as I’ve pointed out elsewhere. But what do you tell yourself to overcome the inevitable obstacles and future rejections that you’ll encounter on the road to recovery?

Repeat this phrase:

IT ONLY TAKES ONE!

Sure, you daydream about having so many deals that you’re beset with an embarrassment of riches. Or, you have the recurring nightmare that you’re so far in the hole that you have to step up to the plate and hit a succession of non-stop grand slam homers, simply to get back into the game.

These grandiose images will only stymie your success. They’ll make it seem that you have to achieve gargantuan, world beating results merely to rate at all.

And that’s absolutely false and destructive thinking.

All you need is to get onto the board with one score at a time to climb out of the hole.

I found myself in a downdraft in my consulting and training business about seven years ago.

I had just published a series of books, six in a matter of four years, and none of them was instantly hitting big. The typical after-market I expect from writing, people calling me to help them to improve their business results, was virtually nonexistent.

And then, one day without any involvement on my part, the co-owner of a successful business on the east coast walked into her local bookstore and bought one of my current releases.

She read it, wondered if I could help her team to improve, and she contacted me.

We started with a very modest initial program, consisting of a single day, but that beginning led to a relationship that found me flying back and forth from coast to coast every other week for two years, investing hundreds of billable days together.

In fact, I was just recalled to the firm to update their skills.

All it took to bust that slump was ONE book reader out of thousands who was sufficiently impressed with its contents to reach out for assistance.

The practical challenge, of course, is FINDING or ATTRACTING THE ONE.

Smack in the middle of the darkest days of our national real estate meltdown I wanted to sell an office property I owned. So, I did what any reasonably prudent person in my position would do.

I interviewed Realtor after Realtor, asking them for proposals. And guess what I amassed?

At the end of my research I had several proposals that were so completely identical that they could have been photocopies of the top one on the pile. They all said I should list my property within a very narrow range of dollars.

How did they arrive at such a uniform prescription? They did market analyses that showed the most recent properties of its type that were sold in the city. These are, as you may know, called “comparables.”

But “comps” are fundamentally flawed. Unless you have a LARGE NUMBER of them that have been bought recently, and there are even more available on the market now, you won’t have a suitable supply for comparison.

Moreover, every real property is unique. It will appeal more to some buyers than to others. And where there is more desire, there is a higher demand and price people are willing to pay.

So, the question becomes: “To what SINGLE BUYER, or type of buyer, is this property MOST valuable?” Then you need to inject most of your time and energy into marketing to that person or to that niche.

But if you look at AVERAGES, which is where comps will take you, the BEST type of buyer won’t appear on your radar, just the TYPICAL ones, and they’ll only be willing to pay the same as the lowest common denominator pays.

IT ONLY TAKES ONE thinking, or IOTO thinking as I’ll term it, assures you’ll pursue the best avenues to reach your targets.

So, what did I do?

I performed my own analysis, believing that the sales prices I was urged to use were too low, that my land and building were worth far more.

From inside of my building, I looked to my neighbour on the left. He had built his property out to its limits, and he was unlikely to buy my parcel.

But the fellow on the right had room to grow. Combined, our two properties would enable him to exploit the commercial possibilities much more than either of us could do as individuals, so I determined he was: THE ONE.

If I wanted a premium it would have to come from him, because by virtue of his positioning, at least in theory he could and would pay far more than the average buyer. So, I put all of the Realtors on hold and devised a personal marketing campaign aimed EXCLUSIVELY AT HIM.

I realized I needed to have a LARGE NUMBER of contacts with him within a short time frame to motivate him to make a generous offer.

I found every excuse I could to bump into him to say hello, and one day I leaned into his car in the driveway and said, “You know, I’m thinking of selling. Before I list it with a Realtor, let me know if you’d like to make an offer.”

Within 90 days, he was the proud owner of side-by-side properties and I had been cashed out.

Overall, I got a premium price:

(1) It was 25% to 33% higher than the proposals suggested I list the property;

(2) I sold it myself, without a Realtor, saving another 6% of the purchase price;

(3) I sold it earlier than I would have done if I had it on the open market;

(4) I got the price I wanted; and

(5) I didn’t have to invest a dime in repairs or upgrades before transferring title.

Exactly, how much better did I do by melding a Law of Large Numbers approach with an It Only Takes One approach?

I believe I netted minimally, 45% more than I would have received had I gone the traditional route, and in real money terms, it was a lot more that I would have obtained, otherwise.

Perhaps the most striking example of marrying the Law of Large Numbers to It Only Takes One thinking is in dating and mating. Unless you’re a committed single who absolutely adores playing the field, you’re going to settle down with one person, at least for a while.

As any matchmaker can attest, FINDING THE ONE is the challenge. This involves the Three E’s: obtaining Exposure, Encounters, and Exclusivity.

The LLN gives you exposure, puts you into those situations where you will be “in play,” available to see and be seen. This could be through computer dating sites, volunteer work, going to alumni events at alma mater, or hosting barbecues.

To arrange encounters, you need to work on your “approach skills,” learning to get the attention of the specific people you want to know better as well as practicing ways to start and sustain conversations.

To gain exclusivity, you need to showcase your uniqueness and develop a plan for enticing the people who interest you to spending one-on-one time together.

The LLN, almost without exception, leads to IOTO opportunities.

The two, working together, create symbiosis, and the results we’re all looking for, by combining quantity and quality.

I am a firm believer in The Law of Large Numbers, and thankfully, a large number of folks who have purchased my audio seminar bearing this title agree with its premise.

But committing to doing LARGE NUMBERS CAMPAIGNS can seem daunting, because it’s easy to forget that success is inevitable from our massive ministrations.

That’s why it’s so important to wed the LLN with It Only Takes One Thinking. The realization that success may be just ONE smile, ONE sale, ONE phone call away, keeps us happily choo-chooing along on the train, that can, that will, and that is destined to succeed.

Before my recent girlfriend I had been single for a while. All other areas of my life was going great, my personal business was starting to take off and I was happy with my direction and my level of income. Yet despite everything else being so good, I felt I was still missing something; namely the love and companionship of a beautiful woman.

I now have a girlfriend, someone I can talk to, share my life with, and cuddle up to on a cold night. And although I’ve found this woman who I truly believe could be my soul mate, other areas of my life have seemed to suffer for it. Putting more time into my relationship has meant I don’t have as much time to work on my personal business, and in a field which requires constant attention this has not been good for business growth. My monthly expenses have also been higher, now I’m buying food for two as she comes to my house most of the time, and going out for bites to eat and the cinema really add up. Not that I’m paying for both of us, in fact she pays for my some of the time. Just that while before I’d stay inside and work on my computer, now I’m going out and paying for my leisure time.

I suppose when you’re in a relationship it’s all about management. As I said I feel this girl is my soul mate and am fully glad she came into my life. But I’ve had to re evaluate how much time and money I spent when with her, and doing so means my life is now more balanced. I have the love of a beautiful woman, and my business is getting back on the right track due to me putting in more time and effort.

Although many people think of needing a bike to go cycling, you can actually go cycling without one! One definition of “Cycling” is a repeated pattern in a person’s life. Who do you know that, year after year, seems to be in the same situation? For example, perhaps a month, or a year, ago they had just met their “soulmate” and they were happier than they had ever been before. Hmmmm… Well, that didn’t work out. Like the one before and the one before that. Maybe they weren’t so much their “soulmate” as they were their “person-of-the-month mate” So, you see them again and now they have once again met their “soulmate,” someone completely different. Or, are they? If we are not careful, we tend to do the same things over-and-over and attract the same results into our lives. This what is called “cycling.”

We get into cycles in which we go around and around seeing and doing the same things over and over. Just like a hamster running in a wheel. Year after year the names change, but the same characters play a part in our lives, with all of the same basic elements being present. We think we are moving forward. Everyone else observing your life clearly sees you moving in a circle. I’ve also seen the feelings represented by an infinity symbol, like an 8 laid on it’s side, ∞. It’s as if your emotions are caught in this infinite loop going round-and-round. Stuck in a pattern of thought and behavior and you wish you could just stop and get off, right? You’ve probably had that feeling before. Most have at some point(s) in their life.

Do you know anyone who:

• Keeps getting new unsatisfying jobs?

• Keeps discovering new “get rich quick” schemes that never quite work out?

• Consistently has no money, although they have a steady income?

• Is just about to start a business, but needs to do “a little more research”?

• Keeps getting cheated on and/or dumped in relationships?

You’ve seen some people can be as predictable as the sun coming up each morning. You could literally plot a timeline of their pattern(s); when their new “soulmate” will appear, when they will have a new job, or when they’ll be calling for financial assistance. And, rather than trying to seek help and break this cycle, they continue jumping right back into the same thinking and behaviors and do it all again! It’s may seem to you as if they are under some unseen control.

And, you would be right! Cycles and infinity loops, whether positive or negative, are a state of hypnosis. That’s right, you and everyone else have a recording playing in your head that causes you to seek out the same set of circumstances and perform the same behaviors that will produce the same results. Since you are acting on an internally programmed recording anyway, why not change it to something you really want in your life, a positive recording that plays over-and-over? Why not rewire your harddrive to make changes that give you power in your life?

Quick! What’s the difference between a millionaire and a person who is constantly broke? The millionaire has habits (actions resulting from unconscious mental recordings) that empower internal resources and the broke person has habits (actions resulting from unconscious mental recordings) that consistently drain resources. What’s the difference between people in long-term, successful marriages and people finding their “soulmate over and over again? People in a successful marriage have communication habits that strengthen their bond, whereas people who find their “soul mate” year after year have habits that destroy the possibility of a long-term relationship.

I wonder, are you ready to break a negative cycle you might have right NOW? Hypnosis and NLP are the only tools that can literally change those old thought patterns almost instantly. Let me give you one quick example: I met a woman who was sitting at her desk and behind her was about 5 dozen cupcakes left over from a party at the place where she works. I asked her if she was having difficulty abstaining from them and, of course, the answer was “yes”. You see, this woman loved cupcakes! She had a cycle of “When I see cupcakes, then, I want them. Because I saw them, I want the taste, the smell, the texture. I have to have them!” She told me her willpower was about to give in. I asked he if I could help her and she said “yes”. Using an NLP technique, I removed her desire for the cupcakes. This happened in less than 5 minutes! A week later she still had no desire for eating cupcakes. This is a less-dramatic example, but one to show that the thoughts that cause us to do things we wish we wouldn’t can be reprogrammed easily and quickly. Hypnosis and NLP works on relationship problems, lack of confidence, lack of motivation, even things like long-held resentment and PTSD. Just imagine it now, no long hours of therapy and psychoanalysis. No drugs, diets, or pills. Only a true change-of-mind and becoming the person you want and know you can be!

Let’s face it. Although we as a parents remember how difficult it was talking to our parents when we were between the ages of 10-14, now that we have children of our own we have forgotten this. As youth we had many questions that we would have liked to ask our parents about but for a variety of reasons chose not to. Instead we got our advice from the foremost experts on the planet our friends. Unless we are proactive rest assured that our pre-teens are doing the exact same thing today. If you are comfortable with being ignorant about some of the issues pre-teens want our advice about but don’t ask then this article is not for you. However for the rest of you continue on as what follows are three questions that teenagers would like to ask their parents but don’t with answers approved as helpful from pre-teens themselves.

Question One:

I love my mom but can’t talk to her. I’m older now and I’m having issues with my dad. Is this normal and how can I change it for the better?

Answer:

First, as it relates to your mom, it is quite normal for young people 10-14 to have difficulty talking to their parents. There are many reasons for this but the top three are:

1. Many parents find it very difficult to communicate with their children because they have a difficult time letting their children grow up.
2. Parents often believe that if their children are asking about something that means that they must be ready to do something.
3. Parents often raise their children the way they were raised. Unfortunately this is not always great.

To change this communication gap with your mother for the better, keep in mind what I said above about the three reasons parents have difficulty communicating with you. Then tell your mom you have something you want to talk to her about. Let her know you want her advice and information only and that nothing has happened for her to get upset about. (Unless something has happened that she has a reason to get upset about). Tell her what you have to say.

She may either get quiet or tell you she needs to think about what you said, or she may start talking immediately. Whatever she does, realize that at this point she is processing what you said. A lot of people need to talk while they are thinking. So if she starts immediately talking, this is probably what she is doing. Either way, after you have said your piece and she has said a bit of hers, ask her if you both can finish the conversation later on that day or the next. I guarantee when you complete the conversation, the two of you will actually be able to talk. This does not mean that she will agree with what it is you might be requesting, but it does mean that the door of communication between the both of you will be open for days and years to come.

The issues with your dad present a different type of situation. If the issues involve strictly communication type issues, then these can be handled the same way that I mentioned above with your mother. But if the issues with your Dad involve conduct by him which is inappropriate and cause you to feel uncomfortable in any way (physical, emotional, or sexual abuse), then the authorities should be contacted immediately if you do not feel comfortable sharing this with your mother.

Question Two:

How come teenagers don’t really take in what their parents tell them?

Answer:

People only take in information that they believe will help them. Generally, people only listen to those people that they think know more than they do. Why would anyone listen to someone they believe knows less than them? For a variety of reasons teenagers tend to think that they know more than their parents. This is strange given that teenagers are much younger than their parents and are experiencing for the first time what their parents have probably experienced many times before.

I have been told by other teenagers that they don’t believe what their parents say because they believe that life for them is different today than it was when their parents were teenagers. There may be some validity in this belief. However, your parents still know more about life in general than you do because they have lived longer than you.

Question Three:

Why do some parents find it difficult telling their kids that they love them?

Answer:

There are several reasons for this. One of them is that it is common for parents to raise their children the same way they were raised. So a parent who grew up never having their own parents tell them that they loved them will treat their children-you-the same way they were treated when they were kids. It’s like the phrase which says, “You can’t give what you never had!”

I recently heard from a wife who was quite lonely and devastated. Last week, her husband had decided that he “needed some space,” and he packed his bags and left the home. He had called a few times during his absence, but he wouldn’t give the wife any specifics about how long he expected to be gone and when (or if) he was coming back. The wife regretted how they had left things. They had argued and she had said some things that she definitely didn’t mean while the husband had said some heartless things to her as well.

So, she had no idea where she stood or where the marriage was headed. And, even though she was angry at the husband for leaving her and for the things that she said, she knew that she still loved him and she wanted for him to come home as soon as possible. She did not want for this one impulsive event to mean the end of her marriage. But she didn’t know how to change the path that they seemed to be on. And, every time she tried to broach this subject with her husband and express her feelings to him, he became flustered and abruptly ended the conversation.

So, it was clear to the wife that the topic was, at least for now, off limits. And, this left her confused as what she should do. She worried that if she just dropped the topic and backed off altogether, then her husband might just continue to drift away and not come home. But, she didn’t want to continue to push him further away.

Actually, from my own experience and research, I believe that there is a happy medium here and a tactic that usually brings about the best outcome for everyone concerned. It would also allow for the wife to keep her self respect intact and to emerge in a position of strength rather than one of weakness.

Even Though You Want Him Home, Try Not To Come On Too Strongly: Obviously, if the wife had her way, the husband would come home full of love and apologies that very evening. But, it was pretty clear that this wasn’t likely. The husband had been calling less and less and seemed more and more annoyed. Believe it or not, you will usually get better results and a better response from him if you let him come to you rather than pushing yourself onto him when he is not receptive to this.

When I tell women this they will often respond with something like: “well, if I wait for him to pursue me or to come around, I may be waiting around forever. I can’t risk it. What if the saying ‘out of sight out of mind’ is true? What if I give him this space and he doesn’t ever come back to me?”

Here’s what you might want to consider. He has already left. You can not turn back time and keep this from happening. But, what you can control is how you react right now. You can control how you present yourself right now and this is likely going to influence his perceptions of what he really wants. And, his perceptions aren’t likely to be good if you push when he’s not receptive or focus on the negative and how miserable you are without him.

A desperate woman who is nagging, debating, or falling apart is not likely to be perceived as attractive. I don’t mean to be cruel about this, but my conversations with men who visit my blog indicate to me that, unfortunately, this is just the way that it is.

Presenting Yourself As The Woman That You Know He Really Wants: Many women in this situation tell me that they feel like they are no longer who or what their husband wants. You mustn’t think this way. Here’s what you have likely forgotten. He has already chosen you once. You’ve already proven that you have the attributes that he values the most. He was already so crazy about you that he married you.

Yes, things have started to go wrong and your life might be off track. But, that doesn’t mean that you can’t fix it. You know what he loves about you. Make sure he sees these things without your having to over reach for them. Wait until he is more receptive and then give him small doses of who you know he loves very much. Always keep things light hearted and allow for him to see the woman that he has been missing.

Even if you feel frightened, unsure, and insecure, save these emotions for trusted girlfriends and family members because it is so important that you try to keep all of the perceptions as positive as you can right now. Make sure that he thinks you aren’t moping around the house praying for his return. Give the impression that you’re confident that if you can gradually improve things, he will come back willingly because you are meant to be together. If you can pull this off, you’ll often find that he’s becoming more and more receptive to you and to the idea of coming home.

Nowadays, you would really have to be an idiot to believe that the economy has turned around and things are getting better. When looking around and talking to friends there is no one I know who can testify that things are better for them than they were seven years ago. Although, it’s not a topic that people like to discuss. It’s almost like the normalcy bias has affected everyone in the United States and to go against the mainstream media makes you a conspiracy theory nut. I’m not afraid to say it, the economy sucks and doesn’t appear to be getting any better for me and my family. I suppose if you are heavily invested in the stock market you might be doing okay but even that is rolling the dice with the family farm. The dinosaur mainstream media continues to overwhelm the masses with nonsense that is otherwise known as the normalcy bias. In this case, it causes people to underestimate both the possibility of a financial disaster occurring and its possible effects. There is this idea that since they have never experienced it before, it will never happen in the future or a least their lifetime. This is why so many people on the verge of filing bankruptcy continue to leverage themselves into oblivion. Thanks to the too big to fail banks and quantitative easing that is allowing these guys to continue loaning money to people who can’t afford to pay it back.

It’s always been said that history repeats itself and it’s happening right now right before our eyes. All we need to do is make people aware of what’s really going on so their eyes will be opened to this financial disaster that is about to happen. Many Americans are now using credit cards and payday loans just to make their ends meet. They are essentially kiting themselves into bankruptcy and don’t even know it. It would be much better for this group to file bankruptcy and stop all the craziness. This idea of protecting your credit is really meaningless when at some point in time the inevitable is going to happen. Just like you tell your kids when they fall down and get hurt, when it’s time for the Band-Aid to come off, it’s much easier to rip it off then to pull slowly. Because of normalcy bias many are hoping that some miracle will happen and their situation will instantaneously turn around. With the Fed printing all the money or quantitative easy over the last five years it’s just a matter of time before hyperinflation comes to our shores. At this time, everyone in the US will get a reality check and for those that did nothing to prepare will most likely be wiped out. It’s time to stop worrying about what the creditor will think about you if you file bankruptcy and do what’s best to protect any assets you have left.

Some people say that the number one reason to file for bankruptcy is to get creditors off your back, but the only reason you want them off your back is to make sure they don’t take your stuff. This is why it’s best to be proactive when it comes to financial matters and not let creditors be allowed to file lawsuits and attach any property. Creditors these days have gotten very aggressive in their collection tactics and sometimes need to be stopped. Filing Chapter 7 bankruptcy uses the power of the automatic stay to stop creditors in their tracks. The Automatic stay is so powerful it not only stops collection activity but also stops all legal activity against the debtor. The stay will stop foreclosure, lawsuits, judgments, and even wage garnishments. The creditors can’t even contact the debtor by phone, e-mail, or even a nasty letter. If they have something to say, they will have to do it through the bankruptcy lawyer.

That’s why the real reason for filing bankruptcy is to protect one’s property. When Congress created the bankruptcy code, they wanted to make sure that Americans would truly get a fresh start after the bankruptcy discharge. That’s why they included bankruptcy exemption laws for those who file for bankruptcy. The debtor has the choice of using the federal bankruptcy exemptions or they can use state exemptions for where they are residing and filing. For individuals to get a fresh start, the exemptions are really pretty generous for individuals filing for bankruptcy. If the bankruptcy trustee could take away all of the family’s property to pay back debts, it would be hard for that family to get back on their feet.

In order to feel strong, you need to make a radical change in your lifestyle. The joy of life comes from our new experiences. There is no greater joy than to have broader perspective and wider horizon.

Don’t settle down and sit in on one place. Move around, be nomadic, make each day a new horizon. You are still going to live a long time. It would be a shame if you did not take the opportunity to revolutionize your life and move entirely into a new realm of experience. God has placed challenges all around us. It is in everything and anything we experience.

Some people feel like they don’t deserve love. The core of mans’ spirit comes from new experiences. Don’t forget about cultivating those relationships during good times. Don’t get me wrong, I am not asking you to give up your dreams or goals but what I am trying to say is that when you find one road blocked you must be strong enough to let go of it and to look for another road. Once those people get rid of this attachment they become strong and find that letting go became an easy task Strength and knowledge: Most people don’t understand that one of the most powerful things that can make them strong in the face of adversity and life problems is knowledge.

Don’t be discouraged. You just can’t beat the person who won’t give up. Never give up on what you really want to do. People are always blaming circumstances for what they are. I don’t believe in circumstances because these situations leave us feeling weak and hopeless. But that’s no reason to stay down for long. In times like these you need to be strong and never give up because life will break you.

I have no regrets in my life. I think that everything happens to you for a reason. The hard times that you go through build character, making you a much stronger person Strong people have a strong sense of self-worth and self-awareness; they don’t need the approval of others.The strongest people find the courage and caring to help others, even if they are going through their own storm.If you feel lost, disappointed, hesitant, or weak, return to yourself, to who you are, here and now and when you get there, you will discover yourself, like a lotus flower in full bloom, even in a muddy pond, beautiful and strong.

Fear, weakness, frustration, failure, depression, refraction and bad luck moments, I’ve been through alone and affected me significantly but was never able to beat me for so long. This is the reason why I’m proud. I’m here now stronger than yesterday. I’m still able to stand and continue on my way. I am still following up my dreams, still trying my best to build a better future for me and my kids and I will never ever give up! It’s enough that I have the courage to survive any trials I encountered in life even if I am not that really tough.