If I didn’t know it before, I sure knew it later. Seventeen years as a university president convinced me I couldn’t do it all-and I’d fall on my nose if I tried.

That’s a leadership lesson in humility that’s universally applicable. But it’s especially true in Development.

As they used to say in the Old West, I needed a Chief Development Officer “to ride the river with.” Back then they weren’t just talking about a companion. They were talking about a trusted partner that “had your back.”

The CEO/CDO relationship is different from any other in a nonprofit organization. This fact doesn’t diminish the CEO’s relationship with the CFO or other officers. It just recognizes that CEOs and CDOs-if they’re successful fundraisers-spend an inordinate amount of time together and they better be singing off the same page.

I tried to orient each of the CDOs with whom I was privileged to serve. Basically, I wanted a teammate, not an independent contractor. I needed a CDO committed to the mission who was a good communicator and crazy about raising money. But I needed the CDO to understand a few other things, too.

I needed my CDO to understand that as a CEO I lived with huge pressure on my time. My calendar could fill up with every conceivable issue, except Development, without me lifting a finger to make it so. This happened because people wanted to see the CEO, believing their issue is apriori. This is true for everyone except major donors.

Major donors don’t typically call the CEO and ask for time on the calendar so they can give you a six figure gift. A few good stories bear witness that this glorious event has occurred, but who can count on it? I always wanted to spend more time on Development, but the competition for my time was a tyranny that always threatened my good intentions.

The CDO needs to grasp this fact-of-life for CEOs and vie for time on their schedules. CDOs, we need you to help us get up-and-out of the organization. Get us into the marketplace.

I needed my CDO to construct a Development Plan that would fund the goals and initiatives in our strategic plan. I had to be involved, of course, but I needed the CDO to lead the charge. Consider some creative solutions and put the first draft in print. Don’t wait on me. Be proactive.

I needed my CDO to qualify potential donors. By all means put people on my calendar. But to put it crassly, introduce me to people who are worth my time. When I periodically put pressure on my CDOs for more appointments on my calendar they sometimes responded with a flurry of warm bodies. No, set me up with the right people, i.e. people with the capacity to give larger gifts.

I needed my CDO to avoid perpetually entertaining a prospect and make the ask. Romance is important in the relationship but sooner or later you’ve got to put a request in front of our friends. Otherwise, you’re not raising funds. You’re just spending money on lunches, golf, gifts, airfare, etc. Set an example for the Development staff in your own productivity. Be hospitable and profitable.

I needed the CDO to help me make new contacts. If we weren’t adding new names to our list we weren’t growing. Actually, we weren’t even standing still because current donors die, move away, lose their jobs, develop other interests, run out of money, and more. If old friends are the backbone of a nonprofit new friends are its lifeblood.

I needed my CDO to manage Development Department personnel. CDOs should inspect what they expect, provide incentives, hold staff accountable, and monitor staff presentations, not just their busyness.

Lastly, and perhaps most importantly, I needed the CDO to represent the organization with integrity in a manner that built trust, reinforced our reputation, and supported my leadership. I got burned once and I learned the hard way. CDOs who speak positively inside and negatively outside violate the most basic of professional ethics. A CDO is supposed “to develop,” “to advance” the organization, not tear down it or the CEO. CDOs that represent their nonprofit and their CEO well are a credit to their organization, to their profession, and to themselves.

I’ve used the word “I” a lot in this piece, but my experience as a longtime nonprofit CEO wasn’t unique. Nonprofit CEOs need CDOs to ride the river with.

After I was diagnosed in January of 1989 the medical profession tried their best to use me as a guinea pig. I believe they do this because they know you are in shock and very vulnerable. At age 29 and three small children, I was definitely in shock. The doctor who diagnosed me said I would be dead in 3 to 3 and one-half years. The fear was overwhelming and I know now that I was incapable of making a rational decision. I decided to put off a BMT and keep my options open.

Finally, at age 35 I decided to have the BMT. My family members were tested and luckily I had two siblings that were both perfect matches. A BMT is not a surgical procedure but a medical procedure that is non-invasive but very intense. I along with nine others I began the procedure on the same day as they did. We received three days of what they call lethal chemotherapy and then four days of total body irradiation. The only way to describe what they do to you is they kill you and then they do their best to try and not just revive you but to keep you alive for as many years afterwards as possible.

Call me the lucky one, but the other nine BMT recipients began to die almost immediately and by the end of the first year there were only three of us left. And during the next six months the other two succumbed to the BMT. Once you have a BMT the leukemia never is the cause of death. The number one cause of death after a BMT is graft vs host. Graft vs host is where your new bone marrow sees all these foreign organs and objects in your body and tries to eliminate them. Remember you have the donor’s bone marrow in you and the bone marrow sees your body as completely foreign. The doctors try hard to help the bone marrow to adjust but it is normally a losing cause. I am not absolutely sure but my guess is that all of the other nine people lost their life to the battle that went on inside of them because of graft vs host.

After having the BMT I was tested several times to see whether I had graft vs host but I never did. I did happen to have and get almost every other ailment and malady possible but I have survived and am currently doing okay. Life has been very different from what I was expecting. At 53 years old I am still unable to work a full-time job. The chemotherapy and radiation does things to the body that the doctors are still looking for answers to.

To give you a brief idea as to what I have gone through– I have had pneumonia 15 to 20 times and each time was a hospital visit of on average 2 weeks. I contracted the shingles more than 10 years ago and still suffer from that on occasion. I have had cataract surgery on both eyes. A month or two after the BMT my weight dropped down to 114 pounds–and at 6′ 2″ I had very little meat on my body. Besides having no hair anywhere, I was a rack of bones rapped in skin and I could barely walk. At my home I had to crawl up the stairs to the bedroom because I could not stand to be on my feet that long. I had double hernia surgery and several other painful maladies that still seem to linger.

I still have trouble with my weight so the doctors have given me a medication to increase my appetite so that I can gain weight. It took me approximately 2 years to finally get up to 150 pounds but today I have gain much more weight due to the medication and am at nearly 200 pounds. This is about the perfect weight for my body.

To this day my main problems are severe fatigue and terrible digestive track problems. But, at least I am alive and have seen all four of my children grow and become adults. I currently have 3 grandsons and 2 grand-babies in the oven. Life is not necessarily great but I do know that it could be a lot worse.

Years ago, I approached a young businessman about him possibly joining the board of trustees at the university where I was serving as president at the time. He was open to the idea but didn’t immediately make a commitment. So then and subsequently I did the “good presidential thing” and pitched, pressed, persuaded, cajoled and sold him on the idea of serving as a trustee.

Eventually, my friend said, “Yes,” was appointed to the board, and of course I felt good. I thought I’d done my duty as nonprofit CEO, helping to build our board with young talent.

But a couple of years later things weren’t going as expected. My young trustee friend missed meetings regularly, didn’t participate much when he attended, and otherwise seemed only peripherally engaged. So in some frustration I remember speaking privately to our young board member’s older relative, a leader on our board and a man with whom I enjoyed a close relationship. I said, “You know, we have Ben, but we don’t have his heart. I think I talked him into serving on the board before he was ready.” To which my wise mentor said, “I think you did, too. What’d you learn from that?” Well, I learned a lot.

First, I learned that you don’t want everyone on your board you think you want on your board. We identify individuals with attractive gifting capacity or networks and we think, “We need that person on our board.” And maybe they’re willing to serve, but people who are willing are not always able. Or we identify individuals with leadership skills and we think, “That person would take our board to the next level.” Maybe this is true, but people who are able are not always willing. In either case, the last thing you want to do as nonprofit CEO is press these people into service.

Second, I learned that my gift of gab, this innate and developed facility with the spoken word, can sometimes get me into trouble. I learned that I can actually motivate (manipulate?) someone into serving on a board of trustees. Not every nonprofit CEO is “a talker.” Thankfully we’re not all alike. But then again, to survive and thrive in leadership you’ve got to be able to speak the King’s English and most CEOs are pretty good at getting their thoughts across. We don’t realize or we forget that our words are powerful, that they can compel people rather than simply engage people.

I don’t think what I said to my young businessman friend was “wrong.” But in retrospect I do think I “wore him down.” I think he agreed to serve on our board more to get me off his back, or to please me, or with feelings of guilt, than out of a sense of passion for the mission. Insofar as this assessment is accurate, the university board appointed a new trustee who deep inside didn’t really want to be there. As president I carved a notch in my gun handle, so to speak, but no one was ultimately benefited by this appointment—not the university, not the trustee, not even me.

The end of this young trustee’s story was the inevitable. About four years into his service he quietly resigned and, worse, drifted away from further engagement or financial support for the university.

So I learned I didn’t want everyone on our board I first thought I wanted on our board. I learned I needed to present my organization and board opportunity with enthusiasm, while modulating it always with a respect for the person with whom I was speaking. I needed to consider his or her best interests, timing, decision-making process, maybe prayers, and “fit,” not just my goal to get the “Yes” and notch another victory.

The same, by the way, can be said for fundraising. Too many nonprofit CEOs “go for the gold,” frankly thinking pretty much just about the amount of the ask, the campaign target, and how good they’ll feel getting the gift. What we need to be thinking about, what is in the best interests of the organization and the cause and the donor long-term is what are the donor’s priorities, what are his or her interests and feelings, and what’s best for the donor? If we truly match organization vision with donor priorities we will in the long run attract larger gifts and, even better, loyalty-with-longevity.

In the last year, the story of our young trustee and my learning curve came back to me. I’m now serving another nonprofit organization as CEO, and with that role comes the usual necessity and opportunity to build the board. I’d met this semi-retired businessman, liked and respected him, admired his accomplishments and talent, and appreciated the fact he gave a substantial gift to the organization. Everything about him said to me: “He’s board material.” So I approached him with the idea.

My friend expressed openness and said he’d think and pray about it and discuss it with his wife. He also attended two board meetings about four months apart, getting to know board members and learning more about our organization. But still, he held back.

At this point my extroverted personality and goals said, “Push.” Thankfully, that’s when I remembered young Ben and his wise relative, my mentor, from years ago. What did I learn back then? Did it apply now? It did.

I presented to my friend the case for board membership, than I backed off. Over the next few months I interacted with him, including a visit to his home, but only once did I mention the board opportunity.

This gentleman is still my friend, is still very interested in our organization, is still open to considering further financial support, and is still not a board member. In fact I recently received an email from him saying he’d given it a hard look and finally concluded his other commitments didn’t permit him to give us what we needed at this time.

So should I be chagrined? A little maybe, because I continue to believe my friend’s service would strengthen our board, but not if he isn’t ready. So should I be chagrined? Not really, because we’ve won a new, likely long-term supporter who may someday yet serve on the board. As it is, he’s about as engaged as one can be without actually accepting a formal appointment. Consequently, the organization, our friend, and even me are all not better but “best off.”

Nonprofit CEOs are generally go-getters, and they should be. We just need to remember to dial it down sometimes in the best interests of our vision, goals, and constituency. Supporters who want and are ready to serve are the best kind. So take care not to talk people into things they aren’t genuinely ready to do.

Receiving feedback or criticism is a funny thing. When it’s good, we accept it and when it’s bad, we doubt its accuracy. Lost in all the emotions could be some good information that could help your career. Here are some suggestions for getting the most out of someone’s comments.

Just Listen: When you’re being told something that you didn’t do well, it’s very tempting to immediately interrupt and start defending yourself. Resist the urge. Listen to the comments and think about them for a moment before you say anything. When you do speak, say something neutral like, “Thanks for telling me that.” Remember, you’re on a quest for information that can help improve your skills. You may want to follow up with a question designed to let you know what you should do the next time you’re in a similar situation. “How would you handle the situation?” is a good one in that it gives you an example to follow.

Analyze Your Successes: When you receive positive feedback, it’s easy to start congratulating yourself but not think about what you did right. Here the ego takes over. But sometimes, it’s possible to stumble into success with no idea of what you did well. To get the full story, ask some questions like, “What could I do better?” which can keep the discussion going.

Don’t Carry Around Comments Like Luggage: It’s easy to hold on to feedback long after it can be useful. Listen to the information, consider how you can improve or continue a good practice, and then, move on.

Consider the Source: Most advice comes from a well meaning place but that doesn’t mean it’s always right. Upon listening to it, you may know immediately that it’s worthless (make sure you’re certain of this) but it’s still important to listen and then thank the person for the feedback. Just the act of listening shows respect to the other person. Sure, their advice may be bogus but if you overreact, then they’ll likely never again give you feedback, which could hurt you later on if their observations improve.

Ask anyone who has a credit card what their number one fear is and they are likely to tell you… their greatest fear is ‘NOT’ having the credit card. I mean these are usually people who have a giant credit card debt with the interest piling up every month at a large percentage rate.

If you ask them whether they want to be free from this bondage, be able to live to a standard that doesn’t give them sleepless nights with repayment stress – they are likely to say YES PLEASE where do I sign. But if that journey began with them cutting up their prized possession – the card – you would literally hear them gag on their saliva.You see regardless of the x amount of pounds they owe, the FEAR of not having this piece of plastic and the access it gives to funds far outweighs the mountain of debt it represents.

I know this because I’ve been there. It’s that fear of ‘not having enough’ of ‘being ‘caught short’ of ‘ needing something’ that my card would buy and which puts fear in your heart. And that’s really what the system relies on. Money is handed out freely, the more you borrow, the more you spend. A vicious but highly lucrative venture (for the lender), but a surefire way of losing everything for the borrower.

The question is how do you beat this FEAR? I would love to say that there’s a support circle you could attend that would help you to go cold turkey, or a drug you can take to medicate your issues – but there isn’t – it’s a bit like ripping the plaster off a wound, in order for it to heal properly you have to rip the plaster off; you have to expose it to air and allow the natural process of regeneration to begin. Yes I know it hurts, yes I know it’s not comfortable – but hey what’s the alternative?… You keep spending money you don’t have; you keep waking up in a cold sweat; you panic at the sight of a demand letter and you almost pass out every time there’s a knock on the front door.

In order to start the healing process you have to rip the plaster off… you have to RIP THE PLASTIC UP. There’s a book I once read and the title has served me well on numerous occasions – Feel the Fear and do it Anyway. There has to come a time when YOU have to make the decision to ‘Feel the Fear and do it Anyway’ and move towards financial freedom.

WILL YOU make the decision today to give you and your family, the chance to develop the courage, will power and resilience to live a debt free life?.

When does a CEO know it’s time to leave? Well, one way is when the board shows you the door.

But somewhere short of that, when does a CEO know it’s time to leave even when you’re still enjoying a good run?

If you’re the CEO, no one but you can answer this question. But we can provide you with some clues about what to consider. It may be time to leave if…

• You’re not having fun anymore. Deep down you’ve been sensing this fuzzy feeling: same ol’ same ol’. You find yourself sighing before, or worse, during, meetings that used to light your fire. Your mind drifts to golf or getaways or something, anything, much more often than ever before. Leadership’s a drag and you just haven’t admitted it to anyone but your dog.
• You’ve accomplished all the organizational goals you set out to achieve. Life’s good. You and your team got it done. Maybe you’ve even won accolades and awards. But what now?
• You can’t envision what the organization looks like or where it’ll be in five years. Early in your career “the vision thing” was a snap, but now you struggle to see around the corner.
• You’re finding it more difficult to make the hard decisions. Fire someone? O.K., if you considered it legitimate and something the organization needed, you got it done. Now, pulling the trigger causes you more stress than the departing employee. Closing a program, product line, or service? Way more late-night anxiety than it used to be.
• You respond with “I fixed that five years ago” when personnel come in with a new idea. After awhile, the Innovator-in-Chief can become the chief obstacle to innovation. You’ve been-there-done-that and you don’t want to do it again, even when marketplace gurus say “change” is the name of the game in the-world-is-flat economy.
• Your skills no longer match the organization’s challenges or opportunities. You came as a builder, you built, and now what do you do? Or you’re a finance wizard who re-engineered the organization and made it profitable again, but now the organization’s challenge requires a marketer or visionary or technocrat. The organization needs new blood and you no longer have the right blood type.
• You’ve got the itch to do something new. You’ve always wanted to go out on your own. Risky? Yes, but oh, bring it on. You’ve counted your years until age 65 and you want to spend them doing what matters most to you. You’ve accumulated assets. Now you want to accumulate experiences, or better yet, you want to give back time, talent, and treasure. You want to serve.
• You sense you’ve allowed yourself or others to slip into that dangerous zone where you or they confuse your identity with the organization. Founders are especially susceptible to this pitfall, but any long-time leader can fall victim to reading his or her own press. The danger for the organization is that the emperor may have no clothes and no one can or will share the bad news. The danger for the leader is a potentially very difficult emotional adjustment when the break finally occurs. Less adoration, fewer perks, no power. You forgot that the organization is not about you.
• You and/or the organization are under serious political or financial pressure. No one can be a CEO without pressure. Nothing new here. But now the pressure is at a level it’s never been before. Or the pressure is coming from sources formerly unwavering in support. Or the pressure is more about you, your vision or style, than it is the organization’s challenges. How serious must the pressure be for the CEO to know it’s time to leave? It all depends. But when you’re shaving or putting on your morning make-up, look yourself in eye and evaluate the question honestly. The organization may be better off without you.
• You’re guilty of some kind of professional ethics violation and you know it. Too many high profile corporate and governmental scandals have occurred in the past decade to ignore the unfortunate possibility of this one. If the shoe fits, wear it, own it, change it, but don’t keep running from it. Prison is not a nice retirement community.
• You’re tired, physically, emotionally, mentally, maybe spiritually. It’s no shame to be tired. When he announced his retirement, even Green Bay Packers superstar quarterback Brett Favre said “I’m just tired mentally.” Tired doesn’t mean you’re old. It means you’ve given your all and you need refreshment.
• Your spouse or family or friends want more of you. A lot of leaders announce they’re moving on to “spend more time with my family,” but this is often a convenient euphemism for “I’m getting out before they throw me out.” This said, family and friend considerations are real and worthy. It’s an old saw but one with power: “No one chooses an epitaph that says, ‘I wish I’d spent more time at the office.'” Organizational leadership comes and goes, friends last a lifetime, families are forever.

Unlike political leaders, corporate and nonprofit CEOs don’t typically work with term limits. When they leave is either their board’s decision or their own. CEOs by definition don’t have a lot of people telling them what to do. So the capacity to recognize the clues that it might be time, and to consider them honestly with mentors and confidants, is a huge asset.

CEOs who stay too long are probably more common than CEOs who go before their time. We are creatures of habit. We like our house and the community. We have adult children and grandchildren nearby. We find it harder to make a change because the mirror says we’re getting older. It’s not sinister. It’s human.

Yet, CEOs who overstay their effectiveness or their excitement are doing no one a favor, least of all themselves. Our egos and our insecurities tend to make us forget that leadership is a temporary stewardship. It always comes to an end. The trick is to bring it to an end when it’s in everyone’s best interest.

Tranquility and serenity are the words that spring to the mind when one thinks about Muscat. Relaxed lunches on the beach, lazy days of sightseeing, and mesmerising serrated mountains make for many rejuvenating moments. The destination is also a melting pot of British, Indian, Omani, and Sudanese cultures. This naturally makes Muscat a perfect example of unity chequered with diversity, which finds reflection in the very way of life, right from cuisines to art and culture. Lacking the bustle of some of the more commonly known holiday destinations like Thailand, Muscat is the perfect place to unwind far from the maddening crowd. Here are some of the delightful charms adorning this holidaying haven.

Pristine Beaches

Muscat has quite a few soul satisfying private as well as public beaches. The Marjan, Bandi Al Jissah, and Qurum beaches are among the most popular ones. While the Marjan beach is excellent for snorkelling and coming up close to breathtakingly amazing marine life like parrot fish, cuttlefish, turtles, clownfish, and sea cucumbers, the sun kissed palm fringed Bandi Al Jissah beach is perfect for a family picnic. Its fine golden sands and quaint little shops ensure that the beach remains flooded with an overwhelming tide of humanity. Those looking for a somewhat quieter beach picnic would do well to visit Qurum beach and spend some time in solitude amidst captivating scenic views.

Astounding Museums

People who go on Muscat usually do not miss out upon a first hand experience of glorious Arabic traditions holidays in one of the many museums there. The Muscat Gate Museum serves as a window to the entire history of Oman, starting from present times and dating right back to its birth. Similarly, the Oman French museum takes one back to the days of French colonialism. In fact, Muscat is full of numerous fascinating museums.

Mutrah Souk

Although, Muscat has ample playgrounds for mall rats, but nothing beats retail therapy at the Mutrah Souk. This is a world of maze like pathways cluttered with dozens of old fashioned stalls selling a range of goodies like antiques, fresh local produce, local fabrics, nuts, regional spices, jewellery, dowry boxes, hand-weaved footwear and bags, ceramic figurines, religious paintings, and earthenware. The experience here is so unique that it is even said that Muscat holidays are incomplete without some shopping at the Mutrah souk.

Grand Mosque Sultan Qaboos

This massive feat of modern architecture stands as the third largest mosque on the planet. Everything about this grand mosque is king size. Even the hand woven Persian carpets inside the mosque are the largest of their kind in the world. The mosque is open to non Muslims on specific days.

Dolphin Boat Trips

The clear blue seas of Muscat are perfect for taking dolphin watching boat trips. These playful creatures make for an amazing sight when they are up to their antics of performing summersaults in the air. Near here, the Tiwi village is another popular attraction. The major highlight of a trip to the village is to observe the daily behaviour of green turtles.

Watchtower

This incense burner shaped monument offers sweeping views of the surrounding city, desert, and mountains. Right next to the tower, one can connect with nature at the mesmerising Kalbuh and Riyam gardens.

Most people embark on learning a new language when they are in high school or even college. For most this is just a requirement for graduation and for some a chance to help prepare for their dream career. There is really no right or wrong answer we all have our reasons for making the choices that we make. In high school (twenty-four years ago) I decided that I wanted to take French after three years of Latin I figure it would be easy. Well to my dismay it was not easy in fact I did horrible. I am not sure if it was the fault of the teacher, the class, or me. Back then it could have been any combination, but I quickly learned that it was a bad combination.

It made very me sad that one of my dreams was something that I was failing, but at that point I did not have the resources to make it better I was not a strong enough of a person or student… but it was still something that rested in the back of my mind.

Twenty-six years later… my entire life is on hold. I watch as the hours, days and weeks slip away. I just finished a week of French midterms. Written, Oral and Reading… it is a harsh flashback of my past. Some of the French I remember most of it is unfamiliar to me. I was thinking that going back to school I had conquered my fears of the language and I was coasting though with white, red and blue colors. In my mind I was doing very well but that fantasy was quickly assassinated as I learned a way to record my spoken voice as I read an assignment and then replay it for me to critique. I listened to my first recording and I quickly realized that I had completely butchered the French language into pieces that were no longer recognizable. What I had thought sounded perfect coming out of my mouth, where no more than the sounds of nails scratching down a chalkboard. To say the least this was not only humbling but also very depressing. It seemed that all the studying and hours spent has only allowed me to become no better than I was in high school. So my game plan was to study more and ask more questions, which caused me to become more confused and frustrated. Even though I have no plans of abandon this adventure again. I have seriously started to question my sanity… I knew that learning French is difficult. Although I did not expect for it to gut and fillet me and serve me with a side of low-fat tartar sauce.

I write this to remind you that the saying what does not kill us makes us stronger may just be a bit overrated. But this is not to discourage you but to help you find the correct direction and to encourage you. There are different ways to learn a new language. I the main thing that I have learned is to always remember never give up and try as many techniques and methods to learn as you can. There are many sources to learn; books, internet sites, and study at home programs.

But even after the worse day of studying and one of the most difficult weeks of work and school, I am setting here looking at my note and trying to cram all this information into my head, in hopes of it making sense. I have dreams of opening my mouth one day and this beautiful French just flows from my being. There is a saying”Fall down seven times. Get up eight“. I am determined to make this dream happen. I must remind myself of this daily.

If you have dreams of learning a new language no matter how old you are. Never give up and be true to yourself and you will one day speak the language of your dream. But never give up if there is a will, there is alway a way!

Folks say you can’t kill an idea.

But ideas die all the time, both from natural causes and murder.

An example of ideaicide:

Do you remember back in 2014 or so, what the hot-button political issue was? Sure, groups of all kinds were talking about all the usual stuff. Healthcare, defence, social security, racism, corruption…

But you couldn’t go a day without someone talking about income inequality.

Everyone compared graphs of this to charts of that. The Occupy movement had stirred up attention and it all settled on this.

Then Trump decided to run for president. Obviously, that’s a tricky issue for any billionaire – but especially that billionaire – to navigate. So, instead, he talked about building ‘a big, beautiful wall’.

Boom. Suddenly the topic du jour was immigration.

Chalk it up to luck or skill, mass manipulation or an idea whose time had come. Either way, the old idea was dead – or at least bleeding out.

Want a more thorough example?

Well, I can’t give one. How could I? If an idea is dead, then I don’t know about it.

But I can point to a delightfully intriguing anti-example, which just so happens to be one of the latest points of political fixation:

China.

If you look at Chinese history, it looks like an endless stream of innovation. The relevant Wikipedia article contains hundreds of inventions – at the top, it mentions the “Four Great Inventions”: paper, compasses, gunpowder and the printing press.

These alone are amazing feats of science – and China invented them in ancient history. What other country can boast a history like that?

Better question: how did they manage that?

Genetic superiority? Unlikely.

A culture that favours innovation? Hardly. Chinese society, then and now, hardly embraces radical and deviant thinking.

I have a theory.

And my theory explains why China invented these things but didn’t, you know, use them.

Not to bring up a sore point for them, but the Century of Humiliation involved an alliance of Western powers carving up China. They did this, in part, thanks to their superior technology. But it was ‘superior’ because European navies had compasses for navigating and plenty of cannons – using, wait for it, gunpowder.

Industrial-age Europe used the same tech invented in ancient China… so how could it possibly be superior?

My theory is simple:

China has, for most of its history, been politically stable. Sure, sure, dynasties ended bloody, they got invaded a few times, then there was that mess with the Cultural Revolution.

But look at any corner of the world over thousands of years. Most other cultures broke down and built up again dozens of times.

Today, the buzzword is ‘disruption!’ Back then, it was ‘stability!’ Industries stayed the same for centuries, in contrast to today’s tech churn, so stability have you an edge.

Because, back then, maybe new inventions came along every few decades, through dumb luck or inspiration.

But without a stable system of trade, that idea wouldn’t leave the village.

And without strong rule of law, that village would soon become fodder for bandits sooner or later.

So a politically sound society could accumulate and share its inventions, whereas other societies would lose them to entropy.

But if it’s too stable, then it’ll struggle to use those inventions.

In Europe, the printing press was a gamechanger. In ancient China, it probably just reinforced the existing game.

Maybe I’m right, maybe not. At best, it’s a partial explanation… though it fits the facts nicely.

(Even if it has horrific implications – most of our good ideas have been lost to time.)

But let’s assume it’s true.

You can be darn sure I’m gonna use this as a metaphor.

It’s a call for you to embrace chaos and routine, because too much of either stifles you.

And a reminder that nothing is permanent.

But the big one?

You have so many great ideas – so many solutions to the challenges you face. But they won’t do you a lick of good by themselves.

Gunpowder as a novelty today is less useful than gunpowder as a weapon a thousand years from now.

Learn how to act on your ideas and instincts. Anything else is like letting foreign imperialists carve their initials on your back.

You probably already know the story of how I became a copywriter, but I’ll bet the part I’m about to reveal today you DON’T know. The reason I think you don’t know is because I haven’t told very many people. But before I launch into the new stuff, let me review the old stuff briefly, okay? Okay, here it goes –

In 1999 I took a leap of faith and left my corporate job as a secretary to stay home and raise my two young sons. (One of them was learning disabled and both missed me very much.) So I hung out my shingle as a freelance writer in the virtual assistance world. Leaving a steady paycheck was a huge financial strain. I wasn’t really sure how to get clients or build a business at all – just a devoted mom.

Fortunately I landed a client right away who introduced me to the world of copywriting. He had a successful network marketing business but he hated to write. So he sort of talked me through what he wanted and showed me some templates. Copywriting was like nothing I had ever seen before. (Well, I had seen it, but I didn’t realize people actually got PAID to do it.)

Because I was so passionate about it, I kept getting better and better very quickly. But soon my client didn’t need anymore writing – and I didn’t have anyone else lined up. Bummer. So my family started living off credit cards. My husband and I fought like cats and dogs. It sucked.

Thanks for your patience – this is the NEW part

Under the weight of our circumstances I reluctantly started looking for a new daytime job. In 2002 I found a listing on CraigsList to write copy for a stock company. (I knew nothing about stocks.) They were looking for someone to write in “Gary Halbert’s style”. “Who?” I asked. That was the first time I had heard Gary’s name.

I didn’t get the job. They claimed to love my samples but sensed I just didn’t want another “office job.” That was their excuse. I think it might have been my confession about Gary. But their decision saved my life. I couldn’t have gone on to get my feet under me and really grow Red Hot Copy if I had gone done that road.

So thank you, Gary. That was the first life-changing moment you were responsible for in my life. There were many others to come.

As soon as I got home after that interview, I did a search on “Gary Halbert” and absolutely fell in love. Every carefully chosen word drew me into his copy deeper. I couldn’t stop reading! His copy was so raw and full of personality. He was like an old, salty dog not caring what you think, while driving you like a speeding car toward the call to action. So in-your-face. So irreverent. So testosteronal. And I wanted to write JUST LIKE HIM.

What you’re used to reading from me is a departure from his style but trust me, even though I’m no Gary Halbert, I learned to write in a similar tone. How do I know? He called me a few years later on the phone and told me so. But I’m getting ahead of myself.

When I first met Gary at a seminar in 2003 it was like meeting a rock star! I was so in awe of him. He was with his gorgeous girlfriend, Sirian, who is truly one of the most genuinely sweet women I’ve ever met. Gary was different than his brash persona. You could tell he had that side, yet he had such a vulnerability and honesty to him.

Over the years we’ve had sporadic contact. I wouldn’t go as far as to say we were close but he offered me advice semi-regularly via email and phone. I would occasionally show him sales copy. He would give me honest feedback (which was surprisingly more gentle than his buddy, and one of my favorite mentors, John Carlton – you lovingly brutal beast, you).

The last time I saw Gary in person was in 2005 at his Root Canal Seminar. He was brilliant, naturally. But somewhat of a lost lamb since his trusted assistant Teresa had retired. Poor guy even got lost on his way to the bathroom – but he had enough sense to ask for someone to find him through his mike, which he hadn’t turned off. I met his two sons Kevin and Bond there too – really cool guys.

At the end of the first night’s event, I invited him to have dinner. He declined saying he was tired. Frankly he looked as if he were ready to crash and I know how much throwing an event can sap out of you. Then about 20 minutes later he surprised us by joining a few of us in the bar. He said he had changed his mind about being tired. He gave up booze long ago but had a couple of cokes and shared our pizza. I wish I could have recorded that night. Some of it I’ll NEVER share. But he was so open and candid, I felt like I’d known him for years. That is one of the lessons I got from Gary. Be vulnerable and be yourself. Because there is nothing worse in life than being BORING or inauthentic.

Gary, you were never boring. You have secured your place in history as one of the greatest marketers of ALL TIME. You lived life right. Give ’em hell, Gary. You were one in a billion.

In closing

I’d like to quote an excerpt from his online newsletter about his Halbert Index: “The Halbert Index is a totally unique way of classifying people. To be at the top of the Index you must have the following:

1. You must have a life, and
2. You must have a sense of humor, and
3. You must have intelligence and be an independent thinker, and
4. You must be a generous and giving person but… at the same time…
5. You must refuse to take sh!t from anyone who doesn’t have a gun to your head, and
6. You must be willing to take chances and cheerfully accept losses, and
7. You must have the capacity and courage for true intimacy with your loved ones, friends… and sometimes… even your associates and strangers, and
8. You must be wealthy always in your mind… and therefore… very often… in your pocket, and
9. You must be honest and have integrity not defined by laws but rather, by the inner-core of your being, and finally
10. You must have a relationship with a higher power (nicknamed “God”) that does not necessarily include and/or often transcends any association with an organized religion.”