(This post was uploaded in support of Depression Awareness Month)

When the idea to start your own business first popped into your head, I’m guessing a certain level of pessimism invaded the bubble. The thought of the grind ahead I’m sure became all you thought about and perhaps, for some of you, those thoughts delayed the start-up somewhat.

But over time, that urge to be your own boss overwhelmed the pessimism and you made the jump.

And here you are.

You’re the boss.

And, it’s a bit scary right?

Sure it’s got its perks. You can pick the kids up from school. You no longer have to get approval to be ill and you set your own hours.

Although…

Even though you get to set your own hours, you never really switch off. The traditional 9 to 5 that forced you to become your own boss somehow gave way to a more gruelling 24 / 7.

Okay, you get to be ill without having to convince someone you are not fit to go to work but now, when you get ill, you probably won’t get paid.

And yeah, you get the option of more time with the kids but at what cost?

With your business on your mind 24 hours a day, where’s the escape? Even something as simple as watching TV loses its appeal. Sure, you are fixing your gaze on the screen but your brain isn’t engaging with the content like it used to. You’ve got work on your mind and everything else, whether we want to admit it or not, is a distraction.

Being your own boss is lonely. You may be surrounded with staff and have a loving partner at home and kids who adore you but it’s still lonely.

There’s a pressure in being your own boss that you never knew existed. It makes you think about all those bosses you didn’t much care for. It takes you back to those moments when you thought your boss could have handled a situation better and you start to empathise somewhat.

You start to put yourself in their shoes. What kind of pressure was your former boss under? You get a bit ashamed that you never thought to ask them. You were never there for them.

Just like no one is really there for you. Not really.

I guess today’s post is about me. I have no advice to give.

The government wants us to start small businesses and employ people but as soon as we do, they turn against us. Everyone has rights but we don’t.

It feels like the whole world is against us.

Sometimes we make stupid decisions. Like employing friends or family. We feel the need to surround ourselves with people we can trust yet fail to take into account that the moment we do, we kill relationships and find ourselves more alone than ever.

I’m sure there are times when employing family or friends has worked out well for someone but I’m guessing it doesn’t happen often coz there’s a famous saying floating around advising against doing such a thing.

So if you’re smart you avoid those pitfalls and make that famous Whitesnake song your own personal anthem.

Being your own boss is amazing but it’s also a lonely road that you walk alone.

It doesn’t have to be that way though; the government could make it easier for us. Sure they offer business advice initiatives but they’re all geared to growing your business which in turns adds more pressure and serves to isolate you further from the world.

Maybe the government could do more to help us job creators? Maybe they could, I don’t know, allocate a few hours per month of free counselling? Give us a safe environment where we can just talk about our problems without worrying anyone?

You see, that’s the real issue I have, as a business owner who can you really, deeply confide in?

If business is going well, who can you really share that info with? Your friends? That could illicit jealousy and could easily come across as bragging. Your staff? Well, that could just make them greedy. Your loving partner? Maybe, but is that enough?

And what about those times when things are not going so well? Who do you talk to then? You don’t want to burden your loved ones with that and you definitely can’t talk to your staff about it because more often than not what’s causing you sleepless nights is merely a blip in the grand scheme of things and sharing every blip can and will create paranoia amongst your workforce.

Fact is, you chose to be your own boss. As the boss you are a general. It’s your job to keep certain things to yourself until they absolutely need airing.

But it’s still hard.

Wednesdays for some reason have always been hard for me (this was posted on a Wednesday) I call them wobble Wednesdays. It’s the only day of the week where I allow dark thoughts. I do all my panicking on a Wednesday, the logic behind it being that I can analyse any blips and if there are any that have the potential to develop into something more substantial then I’ve given myself time to find a solution before payday hits.

I will be honest, today’s blip is not work related, well, not exactly. Today’s blip is down to me having to miss a family function this coming Friday due to work. A family member is reaching a certain milestone this Friday, it’s a big occasion, a get-together if you will, and I won’t be there because my business needs me to be somewhere else.

Let’s just say the news of my impending absence hasn’t gone over well.

Funny thing is, if I wasn’t my own boss and informed them that I had to miss the function due to my employer scheduling me a late shift the response to my absence would have been accepted. Heck, I would have even gotten some sympathy out it, but, as my family know that I am my own boss and that one of the most famous “perks” of being your own boss is that you pick your own hours, well, let’s just say that I’m not getting any understanding whatsoever let alone sympathy.

But I am my own boss. And I am alone. I guess deep down I wouldn’t have it any other way.

At least Whitesnake understands me…

Having a job that you love makes you feel happy and content. However, working for a boss who takes credit for your work can be enormously demoralizing. Steve who works for an advertising agency toiled several nights for a big presentation to impress his senior management. But, on that very important day, his boss Caesar tells him that he will be presenting it to the clients, not Steve. Does this situation give you a feeling of déjà vu? If your answer is yes, rest assured you aren’t suffering alone. There are umpteen managers/bosses who effortlessly take credit for things they haven’t done at work. And the person who slogs it out isn’t even mentioned when the boss gets all the accolades.

What do you do when you are faced with such a situation? Quit, and start looking for better opportunities? Well, let’s look at what can be done when it comes to dealing with such difficult and toxic bosses. Firstly, you need to take a step back and get a bird’s eye view of the current situation. Are you being over-sensitive and making a mountain of a molehill or your boss really walks over you and doesn’t appreciate your hard work one bit? If the latter is true, what would you do? The answer to this question is, you need to have some perspective prior to taking any action against your boss. You need to realize that not all bosses are bad by nature. They too have a lot on their plate and because of that they sometimes come across as brash or insensitive. Try and reason out as to what makes your boss so annoying. For instance, here are two instances.

1) Your boss is inexperienced and doesn’t have leadership qualities

Quite a lot of people when given authority feel they have to compete with everyone around. They cannot stand the idea of experiencing failure in front of their subordinates or senior managers and executives. The transition for them is too much to take and they struggle to keep it steady. After getting promoted to a managerial level, the job expected from them is not restricted to themselves. They now have a bigger role to play and their success is measured if a group does well. Many new leaders need to recognise this difference. If they fail to do so, they will always be very competitive and aggressive in nature.

2) Your boss is full of himself

People who get to leadership positions are in fact narcissists. Their self-esteem feeds on the energy and praises they get from others. They want to be liked and the approval they get from people around makes them feel good about themselves. Narcissists who are good at their job, try and make their achievements public for others to take notice. They are considered a boon to the organization as they keep their achievements visible.

After getting to such a higher position they still feed on the energy of others. This behaviour of theirs is toxic and affects positive people around them. They like taking credit for all the triumphs with regards to a project or an important meeting. And anything to do with failure is pushed on subordinates or people they don’t like. This makes them undermine colleagues and nurses their ego further. They also tend to get aggressive when criticised for anything.

If any of the above description fits your boss, you need to very calmly and intelligently address this issue. If you are sure about your ideas being stolen and your boss taking all the credit for your work, then this is what you can do.

Ensure this isn’t a misinterpretation of events

Before flipping out at your boss for high-jacking your work or ideas make sure you aren’t committing a blunder. In many research institutions, the person who directs the lab has to be named because of his or her contribution in the research as well as supervision for their work. In the same manner, your boss could be taking your ideas to his seniors on your behalf so that it gets approved. You can then take all the awes and wows and wait for your work to get its due in the form of a promotion or a big fat bonus. You will get to know eventually if your boss means no harm and is just doing his job or he’s being sly and side-lining your honest efforts. If it’s just once or twice, remember it’s not malicious, only ineptitude. Being negative or assuming the worst will only aggravate the matter.

Have a one-on-one with your boss

Being passive-aggressive about this situation will only fester more resentment. Instead, start and end the conversation on a positive note. You can begin by talking about the current project that you have been working on by giving a detailed report. You could also talk about the time you may take to complete the entire project and the day you’ll be available to take up a fresh assignment. Once you are done talking about your current situation with regards to your job, you can say something like, “I wanted to discuss about something that’s been on my mind lately. Is this a good time to talk?” If your boss gives you the nod, you can continue by saying, “It took me by surprise when you mentioned to Kathy that John helped you with the accounts of the Amazon project. I worked for two months on those accounts while John just assisted me for a day. Maybe you had your reasons to mention something like that but it was disheartening, I’d like to discuss it with you to clear the air.” Listen earnestly to what your boss has to say and keep an open mind towards the issue. Let all the information sink in and conclude the conversation on a positive note.

Keep a log of your work and document it well

In case the problem persists, then make sure to keep a record of all the work you’ve done or are currently pursuing. Have a securely protected folder for all those documented files so that if you are asked about it in the future, you can easily provide proof to the concerned person. You can also mention about how you came up with the idea and the alternatives you proposed pertaining to a specific project. Keep a work diary where you jot down the day’s events. Write down the ideas you shared in the team meeting along with that day’s achievements as well as errors. Also keep track of emails that were sent from your inbox and the emails you received. Don’t forget to get a print of the praises and the recognition you get in various emails. Do not be shy or afraid of claiming ownership of ideas or projects that you’ve come up with when talking to your co-workers or subordinates. Say things like, “when I thought of this idea, I recommended this alternative… ” or “I already knew this software would help achieve our target easily.”

Work in groups that includes your boss

One of the best ways to let others know that an idea is yours is to ensure you work in a group or a team. Save all your novel ideas for team meetings so that everybody takes notice of the fact that you came up with the idea. Your boss won’t be able to take credit for something that has come out of your mind when there are people around. Lead from the front and show your boss how it’s done. You can volunteer to give an update about your project to your boss’s seniors. That way you can make everyone in hierarchy know that you are the mastermind when it comes organizing and presenting your project. You can email any ideas you have about a project to your boss. This is proof enough that you’ve come up with a solution and under no circumstance can your boss take credit for it.

Let it pass

Life isn’t easy as it seems and on a few occasions you have to experience rough moments and move on. You won’t get your due and you learn this from the ‘school of hard-knocks’. However, there will be moments in the future where you showcase your true abilities and get recognition for it. In the meantime, have some alone time for introspection. Indulge in a brainstorming session and come up with new ideas for your next project. Ideas if kept to yourself aren’t really worth but, if shared with your team can result in joint success for your boss, your team and yourself. On a few occasions you won’t be able to hog the limelight but this teaches your tolerance and patience. As an employee of a company it’s your job to protect your manager, subordinates and ensure they look good in all situations. No one is saying you shouldn’t get appreciated for your work but reacting to every small issue won’t do any good. Be patient and choose your battles in a wise way.

Get a new boss

If there no signs of the storm to pass, then it’s best to look out for a new job. No point in being in such a place where your efforts aren’t honestly appreciated. A lot of people can’t quit their jobs since they have mouths to feed. They have to deal with a bad boss and stick to a job they loathe. But, if your manager takes all your ideas and doesn’t even bother mentioning you to your peers or your seniors quite frequently, then it’s safe to say your boss doesn’t want you to flourish in your career. Your work is yours to keep and a good boss will have no qualms letting you represent your work and won’t steal your thunder, ever.

Tina Fey is an amazing woman with drive, ambition, a sense of humor, and she looks great too! She really proves that you CAN have it all. Her new book, BossyPants, will make you laugh, cry, and you’ll find a new best friend. As you turn the pages of this phenomenal book, you’ll be drawn to Tina herself. We’ve shared experiences, frustrations, and victories as well as those occasional moments of self doubt. It’s amazing how reading her book feels just like a pajama party with your oldest and dearest girlfriend.

Even if you seldom stay up late enough to watch Saturday Night Live, or you haven’t hopped on the “30 Rock” train, you’ll still find Tina’s tail of success to be a page turner. She walks you through her early days as a struggling actress, describes some shocking moments as she entered the male dominated film industry, and she even gives you some insights into shopping for parachutes. If you really aren’t a reader, just grab a hard copy (as in physical if those really exist anymore) of the book and put it on your coffee table. The cover alone is enough to make you chuckle or invoke conversation with friends. It won’t Tina long to peak your curiosity. The book may start on your coffee table as a conversation piece, but it will ultimately end up in your purse, book bag, and/or on your nightstand.

I never thought I’d sleep with another woman. I do however enjoy a few good laughs before bed, so I re-read a few chapters every night before drifting off to think about my own dreams of making it in a man’s world. I’ve also brought BossyPants with me to Doctors appointments – everyone should laugh in the gyno office while waiting for the ever dreaded pap smear – it keeps people wondering. There are places you may not want to read BossyPants. I made the mistake of reading it at my mother’s house (picture 67 year old woman who still claims she had sex just one time to create yours truly). I was laughing which of course prompted her question of: “what’s so funny?” to which I read the chapter I was on: ‘There’s a Drunk Midget in My House’

I believe that conversation ended badly. My mother disagrees with the mere thought that one would compare their lovely offspring with a drunk midget. However, as a mother of two toddlers, I GET IT! If you have children, I’m not telling you anything you don’t already know. For those of you who do not, Children are sticky, demanding, too short to reach their own light switches, and they don’t know how to do anything for themselves. You think you’ve got life all figured out and then you realize you need to teach someone how to wipe their butt…it’s even harder than you think.

Back to the point – if you’re looking for something funny AND inspirational to read, you’ll find it with Tina’s book. If you don’t think it’s worth the money to buy a copy, think about it this way: you spend $13 on a cheap bottle of wine and another $6 on a bottle of nail polish…in a year, neither one of them will be doing you any good. BossyPants will still be around to be read and re-read. It’s an investment in your future (or I’m good at justifying things – it’s cheaper than a night at a comedy club and you can read it while wearing sweatpants) – it’s a must read, trust me!

To avoid making a fool out of yourself in a SWTOR flashpoint while fighting a boss or certain difficult trash mobs, you have to know exactly how they will attack you or your group. That takes a lot of practice in that particular flashpoint, or… you can quickly learn everything you have to do from a SWTOR flashpoints guide.

That’s what I did, and in short time I was the one that told the other group members what they must do, so we could finish off every boss, without too much of a hassle.

The reason I’m writing this article is to tell everyone about the usefulness of the SWTOR flashpoints guide I’ve been working with, and also share a few tips about the tactics in one of the end game SWTOR flashpoints – Directive 7.

Ok, so let’s see…

How Can a SWTOR Flashpoints Guide Help You?

1. SWTOR flashpoints are the same as the instanced dungeons that you can find in other MMO games. In every flashpoint, you will have to group up with other players and work as a team to achieve certain objectives and defeat at least a few bosses in the process.

Now, if you don’t know what you must do on a certain boss encounter, the whole party my die because of your mistake. That really sucks and it may end up with your removal from the party. A SWTOR flashpoints guide will tell you everything you need to know about the tactics for each flashpoints boss, with a player approach, and you will understand perfectly how to do your part, and even more, how everyone else should play that part, so that everything goes silky smooth, with zero wipes.

2. To squeeze the best from your character in a flashpoint, you need a specific talent build. Usually that differs by a lot from a PvP or leveling build. A SWTOR flashpoints guide will tell you how to spec your character to fulfill your role at maximum in any flashpoint.

3. Last but not least, to obtain an optimal and constant DPS, to assure the necessary threat (tanks) and to keep everyone alive (healers), you will need to follow a certain rotation, depending on your build. Needless to say, a SWTOR flashpoints guide also has that covered.

Now, as I said, the flashpoints guide I’ve been working with has taught me everything about each and every encounter in Star Wars: The Old Republic. So, here are a few tips for Directive 7.

Directive 7 Tactics and Tips

Directive 7 is a flashpoint where you have to defeat a certain faction of droids that have developed technology which may lead to the destruction of both Republic and Empire. In other words, this flashpoint is for both SWTOR factions.

1. The first major encounter in this SWTOR instance, consists in a battle against three assassin droids. If you don’t know what to do here, you may end up killing yourself. Two of the droids will put up energy shields. The yellow shield means damage reflection – DON’T HIT THAT ONE! The blue shield means damage absorption – you basically can’t hurt that droid. They three droids will swap shields between themselves, so it’s important to attack only the one without a shield.

2. The Interrogator boss in this flashpoint has also a few tricks up its sleeve. The most important aspect of the fight is that it will clone up one of the group members. The clone must be killed immediately, because if you end up with several clones on the loose, it will probably be a wipe. It’s best for the tank to pull the clone near the main boss, so that the AoE effects hit both the boss and the clone.

3. The final boss fight in Directive 7 is rather tedious. There are three phases, the first two phases will repeat one time. In general, all you have to do is hide from one turret when they’re up, avoid the ground-target AoEs, avoid being under the airborne droids.

Anyway, if you want to learn each and every tactic in the SWTOR operations and flashpoints, in the shortest time possible, and also how to play your class at maximum in every flashpoint, the best solution is to follow a SWTOR flashpoints guide.

As an HR manager, in large organizations, you may have a matrixed reporting relationship. If you’re unfamiliar with the term, it means that you have two bosses. You report directly on a “hard-line basis” to Human Resources and on a “dotted-line basis” to a business leader.

If your company operates like mine at Pepsi, the dotted-line boss (who is also your primary client) will exert influence your performance appraisal, annual increase and career advancement in HR, so it’s important that you not discount this relationship – but instead manage it well.

To that end, here are 4 sure-fire strategies for successfully managing your dotted line boss:

1 — Sit down and clarify your performance goals, standards, and expectations and seek feedback from your dotted-line boss regularly. In fast moving organizations like Pepsi where priorities change rapidly, it’s easy for HR’s priorities to change — or operate at cross-purposes — with the business priorities. So checking in frequently to make sure you’re both on the same page works well and is welcomed.

2–Look for ways to make the dotted-line boss look good. Get him out of jams, step up and prevent him from making serious errors. Look for ways to help this boss avoid doing things he or she doesn’t like to do.

3–When presenting bad news, try to bundle it with good news also…but be careful to avoid letting problems drag for extended periods of time waiting on good news to happen. HR issues, like garbage, smell when they fester for long periods of time.

4–Often you might find yourself “caught in the middle” where HR’s priorities conflict with those of line management. In these situations, if you must say “no” to a request from your dotted-line boss explain why and work hard at identifying options and alternatives for addressing his or her issue. Make sure as you decline the request, that you do it with tact and that it is a battle you can win. If you anticipate resistance, rehearse the conversation in advance.

Most large organizations operate in a matrix. If you’re in one, it’s critical to your career as an HR manager that you take charge of building a partnership with your dotted-line boss. Waiting for this boss to reach out to you only creates success in waiting, not in building successful partnership. Take charge.

Does your boss make the most exasperating requests? Or perhaps demands for things on the spot? Maybe even reschedules meetings around her manicure appointment during office hours? Does she come into the office every morning sporting a look that makes you wonder if she realizes she's not waltzing down the red carpet at an LA premiere? Welcome to the world of the diva boss.

In 'The Devil Wears Prada', Anne Hathaway's got a boss straight out of Hades but being the movie world, it's all right for her. At least those to-die-for clothes are guaranteed to ease the pain away. However, for those of us in the real world, reality is sadly the opposite. Not only do you have to suffer your boss, but you also have to do it in mass produced high street fashion outfits.

Interviews with a few ladies turned up the following common absurdities diva bosses have been known to come up with: –

Scenario 1

She's afraid of flying but she has to do it anyway, so she asks you to call the travel agency and find out exactly what make the airplane is, when it was commissioned, when it was last serviced and then she wants you to go online and find out if airplanes of that model are generally safe. "I wanted to staple the plane ticket to her head," said Karen, an Executive Assistant. "Of course there was no way I could get that information and the agency more or less hung up on me around the time I started to ask about the last time the plane was serviced. The most annoying thing about it is she canceled the flight eventually . "

Scenario 2

She asks you to make her a cup of coffee, which is not part of your job description by the way. In the interest of future raises and promotions, you acquiesce. When the tea is ready, she informs you it's the wrong temperature. "Tea is hot or cold as far as I'm concerned and someone saying tea is not the right temperature as if she expects you to stick a thermometer in it to get it just the way she wants is beyond the call of duty," Sara , a Brand Assistant, had to say about her own boss.

Scenario 3

She schedules an impromptu meeting out of the blue without checking if your timetable is free. That's not as bad as expecting you to be prepared for the meeting she never told you about until half an hour before when she knows quite well it will take you hours to get ready for the meeting. "She seems not to have much to do so she goes around scheduling meetings unexpectedly like a teacher giving an impromptu test just to make the students miserable." This is the situation Betty has with her boss a lot of the time and is seriously considering quitting.

Scenario 4

She walks into the office and suddenly decides the sitting arrangements are no longer interesting and insists on rearranging the office, not tomorrow, the day after or in a week but right at that moment. Everyone has to put their work on hold and comply with her demand. "It was like Julius Caesar had walked into the arena and made a decree. We all literally had to stop what we were doing and move the entire office around. Doesn't this woman have something urgent to do was the thought on everyone's minds, "stated Carol, a Sales Executive.

Scenario 5

She goes off for a salon appointment during working hours and returns about a nanosecond before closing time and insists on getting a report she never told you she wanted. You have to stay behind to get it ready then she tells you an hour later you can give it to her the next morning after all. However, you've missed your ride home by then. "The first time she did it, I empathized. She's repeated it twice since and both times I've wanted to stick her head in the microwave," said Miriam, a Secretary.

Any of these scenarios sound familiar? Chances are you've encountered the diva boss at one time or the other in your career. And there's a possibility you may still come across her before your career is over but never fear. If you keep the following pointers in mind while dealing with the diva boss, you might just come out on top and not have to quit your job after all.

1.Smile. A lot. Especially when she's really working on that last nerve. It takes the stress off you and helps you picture things in a lighter perspective.

2. Keep in mind your boss is not going to change. You have to adapt yourself to the situation but in a way that doesn't undermine you as a person.

3. Adopt a non-adversarial diplomatic approach to dealing with her. Think up creative ways to handle her demands in a calm and controlled manner.

4. Manage any negative emotions you might have towards your boss so you don't end up counterattacking.

5. Your boss is your boss. Period. She signs your paycheques at the end of the month. If you keep this at the forefront of your mind it should go a long way in helping you deal with the diva attitude.

6. Gossip about her but with a neutral person outside the office who can help you examine the situation in a fair manner.

For a lot of people, they can’t work from home or at home because they simply do not have the right characteristics, however, if you do have the right characteristics instilled inside of you, working from home can be a fabulous opportunity! First and foremost; the main reason people decide to stop working in the real world and start working online? The boss theory. When you work some place offline you have to have a boss or at least a person of higher authority than you! You have to work when they say, you have to do what they say, and you have to have it done when they say.

On the other hand, if you work for yourself, you can be the boss and do pretty much whatever you want. Of course this doesn’t mean you get to lounge around all day or takes a month off of work; you still have responsibilities, but you can work in a more relaxed or chilled atmosphere! I think it takes a certain person to be their own boss, but if you can do it, and become successful; do it!

Some people are under the assumption that getting into working from home is hard. They are wrong! There are hundreds of things you could do from home to make money; affiliate programs, freelancer, home shows, supply a service, have your own business doing something, cash generators, writing articles, web hosting, web design, blogs, etc. The sky is the limit. By the way you can also check on sites such as Genuine Jobs for actual jobs you might also get in the real world. But again, not absolutely necessary!

Now some people might find the transition from “boss over shoulder” to no boss; great, and some, not so much. I think a lot of people feel a little lost when they don’t have someone telling them what to do all the time. So it’s important (either way) to make yourself organized. Set up a home office, get yourself a desk a chair, some paper, pens, a file cabinet, etc. Next up, get some things that will make you organized; dry erase boards, a calendar, even Google gadgets can be handy. I mainly you use Google Gadgets.

It’s a sidebar (default) menu that allows you to add all sorts of goodies; notepad, Rolodex, task list, calendar, time, even games if your so inclined. Wake up in the morning or do it before you go to bed at night, and list everything you need to do. It doesn’t matter if its 3 things or 300 things, type it out, post it up, and at the end of the day you will have gradually gotten through the list! Before ya know it all of this is habit and you don’t even have to think about it; you just do it.

By the time you realize it, you have got yourself an incredible operation which you started and you did it all without “the boss man”. Sounds nice huh? It is! And you can easily get into this; remember to make a plan and stick with it, see it through! Good luck!

Most people at some point in their lives have to deal with a difficult boss. Difficult supervisors vary in personality from being a little pushy or rude, all the way to being downright abusive. Many people feel that an abusive boss has control of their personal life outside of work by lowering their self-esteem and making them live in constant fear. The role of a supervisor sometimes attracts certain controlling-type personalities because they crave the power it gives them and because they lack such control in their own personal lives. A supervisor has complete control over your most basic human needs–your ability to put food on the table and a roof over your head. These are powerful motivating factors that allow a difficult supervisor to control people out of fear of losing these basic needs. We may not be able to always correct their behavior, but we should never have to live in fear and let our difficult boss control our lives.

Here are some strategies on handling a difficult boss situation.

1. Always have a plan B. Most people are scared about having a discussion with their boss concerning their abusive behavior because they fear reprimand or losing their job as a result of it. Their fear is usually justified if the supervisor is a control-freak and feels that their subordinate is threatening their control. Before you deal with any type of conflict, you always need to have a plan B in case things don’t work out. A plan B is the best alternative that you can come up without having to negotiate anything with your boss. In this type of scenario, your best plan B would probably take the form of having an actual job offer in hand with another employer before you have your talk. By not having a back-up plan, you have given your abusive boss even more leverage over you because they know you have no where else to go. Having a plan B, however, empowers you with the ability to walk-away at any time should the negotiation not go right. Increase your power and have a plan B before you deal with the conflict.

2. Never react to verbal abuse or harsh criticism with emotion. This will always get you into more trouble than you started with because it will become a war between egos and chances are good that your boss has a bigger ego than you have–hence why he is difficult in the first place. When a personal attack is made on you, they are trying to bait you into reacting emotionally because once you react, you become an easy target for additional attacks. The key then is not to react, but to acknowledge and move on. By doing this, you effectively strip all of the power behind their verbal attacks away from your abusive boss, without creating conflict. If your boss happens to be an intimidator or a control freak, then the best way of dealing with their behavior is to remain calm and acknowledge their power by saying, “You’re right, I’m sorry.” By saying this, you take away any chance of them lashing back at you because you have sidestepped their verbal attack rather than meeting it head on.

3. Discuss rather than confront. When your boss criticizes you, don’t react out of emotion and become confrontational with them about it because that just breeds more conflict. Instead, use their criticism as a topic for discussion on interests, goals, and problem-solving and ask them for their advice. If they criticize your work, then that means that they have their own idea on how that work should be done, so ask them for their advice on how your work can be improved.

4. Manage the manager. A source of conflict usually occurs when a group of employees gets a new manager who demands that things run differently. These changes are usually reactionary in nature because the employees go about their regular duties until the manager comes by and criticizes the way it is being done. Instead of waiting for their criticism, take a proactive approach and be absolutely clear from the very beginning on how your boss wants things to be done so that there is no miscommunication later on. There are many ways of completing a task and having a discussion about them at the very beginning will allow you to see things from their perspective as well as sharing your own with them. Get to know their likes and dislikes inside and out so that you can avoid future criticisms.

5. Know that you can do little to change them. Being a difficult person is part of their personality and therefore it is a very difficult, if not impossible thing to change in a supervisor, so don’t think that you can change how they act. Instead, change the way that you view their behavior. Don’t label them as being a jerk–just merely label them as your boss. By avoiding derogatory labeling, you avoid making it easy on yourself to be angry with your boss.

6. Keep your professional face on. Know the difference between not liking your boss and not being professional. You don’t have to make your boss your friend or even like your boss as a person, but you do have to remain professional and get the job done and carry out their instructions dutifully as a subordinate, just as you would expect them to be professional as do their duties as a supervisor.

7. Evaluate your own performance. Before you go attacking your boss, examine your own performance and ask yourself if you are doing everything right. Get opinions from other coworkers about your performance and see if there is any warrant to the criticisms of your supervisor before you criticize their opinions.

8. Gather additional support. If others share in your concern, then you have the power of numbers behind you to give you additional persuasion power over your boss. It is often easy for a supervisor to ignore or attack one employee, but it becomes more difficult to attack all of his employees. He might be able to fire one of you, but he will look like an idiot (and probably get fired himself) if he tries to fire all of you. An interdepartment union is a good way of mustering power against an abusive employer.

9. Don’t go to up the chain of command unless it’s a last resort. Going straight up the chain of command is not an effective way of dealing with a difficult supervisor because it only increases conflict in the workplace. Your immediate supervisor will consider this a very serious backstabbing maneuver and might seek some sort of retribution in the future against you and your career. Also, other people in your workplace might brand you as a whistleblower because of your actions. Try to discuss issues with your supervisor first and only go up the chain of command as a last resort.

10. Encourage good behavior with praise. It is easy to criticize your superiors, but criticisms often lead towards resentment and hostile feelings. Everyone likes a pat on the back for good behavior, so you should strive to watch for good behaviors from your supervisor and compliment them on that. Proactive praising is much more effective than reactive criticisms.

11. Document everything. If you choose to stay with a toxic employer, then document everything. This will become your main ammunition should a complaint ever be filed down the road. Document interactions with them as well as your own activities so that you can remind them of your own achievements at performance review time.

12. Leave work at work. Get into the habit of leaving work at home and not bringing it into your personal life because that will only add to your level of stress. Keep your professional life separate from your personal life as best as you can. This also includes having friends who you don’t work with so that you can detach yourself from your work life rather than bringing it home with you.

Firstly let me just say that contrary to the title I would always advocate not actually ‘trying’ to impress anyone. You should only ever do things for the right reason. However that said in my experience if you put the hard work in stick to your principles and work with everyone as you expect them to work with you, 90% of the time you will invariably impress people. Here’s my top 4 tips to set yourself apart from the crowd.

1) Don’t ‘moan’ about the code base

We have all been there, you are put on a project with ‘old messy’ a business critical application that is terrible in form but a mainstay nonetheless, seems like it just needs to be re-written? In my experience just haphazardly whinging about it doesn’t go anywhere, instead become an expert with it this will immediately make it more bearable, spend time with it, get to know it, write tools to help you inspect it. Bring it up at the right time sometimes (team meetings) but be judicious about complaining about it. You will become the go to point for that code and will be seen to be a ‘useful’ resource rather than a hindrance.

2) Express curiosity before shouting about your mastery

The most common downfall I see with developers is their desire to prove to people how much they know. Whilst the more each member on a team knows the better, this virtue can be rapidly unravelled by a developer who wants to blow their trumpet about how expert they are about a particular subject. In short this behaviour just seeks to irritate people. Instead find an inner peace and learn everything you can. Avoid advertising what you know or trying to prove it. If you do really know your onions let people discover this for themselves it will be more fun and people will respect you for it more.

3) Learn to prioritise and focus your web development tasks

Can’t stress this point enough. Find out what you have to do and put it in one single list that you can work in ORDER. If people come to you with things they want done then remember you ultimately need to be able to make decisions on the order that you work on something in a given timeframe. If you’re not allowed to then make sure you stand your ground you may need to politely explain if someone is trying to hijack your ‘flow’ as they could be micromanaging you. After you have set your priorities make sure you work on one task until completion, if you need switch your email off and set your mobile phone to ‘answerphone’. If people disturb you just let them know you will get back to them ASAP about it. If someone of authority does force you to stop what you are doing to work on something as a priority then politely explain that you are working on something but that you will do this seeing as they have expressed how important it is. Prioritising and focussing will ultimately lead to a greater amount of work achieved and you will be respected for the speed at which you work.

4) Get good on Saturday mornings and learn more programming skills

Sometimes learning during your working day can be difficult because you have to ‘deliver’ right? Fine, so think of Saturday mornings like this. A time when you no-one can tell you how or what to work on. I recommend looking into one subject that has been niggling you most recently and studying it in depth. Take a clean project in visual studio, get the MSDN site open on the relevant page and start coding something and investigating how it works. I call this ‘career investment’. The results won’t be immediate but over time as you do this every weekend you will become very proficient in areas that other people aren’t. The law of averages dictate that what you have learned will be useful on your project and people will respect you for your deep knowledge when this becomes apparent!

It’s a perfunctory ritual that takes place in offices large and small all across the globe. Whether it happens as part of your annual performance review or in the weekly sales meeting, the boss announces his or her goals for you. You know: the pie-in-the-sky, “sure thing, Jack” goals that confirm your suspicions that the two of you dwell in very different dimensions of reality.

If you leave the session feeling more disheartened than inspired, you’re not alone. Everybody’s natural response to being assigned a “goal” is to rush back to your real-world work as quickly as possible and forget the whole thing ever happened.

But what if, just for fun, you decided to do everything in your power to meet those goals? What if you decided you would even surpass them? The boss probably doesn’t expect you to meet them. He set them because he got a set of numbers from somewhere–from his boss, or from his accountant, or from the spreadsheet he finished just before the meeting. He set them because he was expected to set them, not because he thought they could, or would, be met. But what would it mean to him and to the company if you really did hit the mark? What would it mean for you?

That, really, is the first question you need to get answered. What’s in it for you if you do meet the goals? If an incentive has already been placed on the table, decide whether it’s something you really want. Is it worth the effort the goal would require? If not, decide what you would like as a reward instead and then negotiate for it. If you were offered a 3% raise, for example, and you feel it’s worth a 5% increase, ask for the 5%. If you were offered a trip to Hawaii for you and your spouse and you’d rather see Switzerland, ask for Switzerland. If no incentive was offered, propose a reward that you would appreciate. Would an increase in compensation do it for you? Would you like a promotion or a lateral move to a different department, or a set of different responsibilities? Decide what would make the game worth playing and ask for it.

Make sure you have a clear and detailed description of the goal. If it seems truly unrealistic, or if you think it needs tweaking in some way in order to produce a more relevant or more significant outcome, go ahead and offer your proposed adjustments to it.

Ask, too, for whatever additional support or resources you think you might need to reach the goal. Will you need training? Coaching? An addition to your team? Any additional materials or equipment? Can you be assured of having the ear of your boss if you run into obstacles along the way? Or the counsel of someone from senior management? Would it be helpful to make regular progress reports to someone?

By asking for what you need, both to achieve the goal, and as a reward for the effort it will require, you’re letting your company know that you’re ready to be proactive about moving forward and that you place sufficient value on your potential contributions to deserve the promise of a fair reward. Because so few people take such an assertive position, you will not only be noticed, but likely get all that you ask.

Once you have named your stakes and taken ownership of the goal, use every tool you can get your hands on to bring it to fruition. Privately up the stakes for yourself: do it below cost, get it done before the deadline, make it pay off bigger than expected. Take all you have ever learned about self-motivation and put it to the test. Give the goal your priority attention. Let it be the primary focus of your day.

Not only will your job take on new life–and new doors open to you on your career path–but you will reap the rewards inherent in pursuing a worthy goal: you’ll stretch and develop and discover more of yourself as you go. And in the end, that’s the ultimate reward, whether you succeed at the particular goal or not: the reward of expressing more of your personal strengths and being more fully all you are capable of being.