Since, for most people, the value of their house, often, represents, one of their, single – most, valuable assets, doesn’t it make sense, to ensure, when they wish, to sell their home, they do, all – they – can, to make the best deal, possible! After, over 15 years, as a Real Estate Licensed Salesperson, in the State of New York, I often, advise my clients, of things, they can do, to better – prepare, for the selling transaction, process, and period! In that respect, I emphasize, 7 keys, to being, as prepared, as possible, to sell your house, and get the finest results. With that, in mind, this article will attempt to, briefly, consider, examine, review, and discuss, these items, and why, they matter.

1. Curb appeal: If potential, qualified buyers, don’t take a look, in a serious way, at the house, they won’t make an offer, to purchase it! The first thing, these individuals, see, is the curb appeal, as they approach, the property. Is it, neat, clean, and attractive? Are the colors, overall – exterior appearance, gardens, and apparent condition, a turn – off, or a motivating, inspiring one?

2. First impressions: What might be a potential buyer’s, first impressions, when they enter, the house? Are there any odors, etc, which might make it, unappealing? Is it neat, and clutter – free? Is there, too much, too little, or just, the right, amount of furniture, to accentuate the positive? What is the first thing, someone will experience, when entering?

3. De – clutter/ staging: How might the showing of the house, benefit, from de – cluttering, and staging, effectively, the home? Since, many buyers, can’t visualize, what they don’t clearly, seen it often, makes sense, to take advantage of the skills, and expertise, of a professional stager!

4. Objectives/ priorities: Before, deciding to sell your home, the homeowner should clearly, consider, and identify, his personal objectives and reasons, and ensure, he addresses his priorities, throughout the process!

5. Listing price: Homeowners should hire potential agents, and choose, the one, who, will best represent his personal needs, by providing honest suggestions, and ideas, consistently! Remember, in most cases, the properly – set, listing price, makes a significant difference, for the better! It’s important to understand, listing, and selling price, are different entities!

6. Marketing strategy: Thoroughly, consider, which marketing strategy, makes the most sense, for your combination of personal reasons, priorities, etc! There must be a clear understanding, from the start, as to how, to, effectively, proceed!

7. Agent/ homeowner teamwork: The best results, and least – stressful, process, and approach, to this period, is to ensure, quality, consistent teamwork, between agent, and homeowner, so they proceed, on the same – page!

Getting the best price, and terms, when you sell your house, is a smart objective, and using, the 7 steps, listed, above, are a sensible, effective approach. Will you do, all you can, in your own, best interests?

Competitive bodybuilding is big business. According to some tournament directors, an estimated 20% of competitors are using banned or unapproved substances to help them win these tournaments. In an effort to keep this cheating to a minimum, many tournaments have turned to polygraph (lie detector) testing.

The ugly truth is that these tournament directors are either being scammed or are knowingly going along with the ruse. Polygraph testing, if done correctly and to established standards, can be over 90% accurate in getting to the truth. A properly administered exam takes about an hour, and involves collecting a great deal of data before a decision can be rendered. Unfortunately, these tournament directors are hiring so-called “examiners” who can do a test in 5 to 10 minutes. This is downright impossible with a real polygraph. Global standards for polygraph have been established by the American Polygraph Association and the American Society for Testing and Materials. There is no 10-minute polygraph that can comply with these standards. Contestants have been accustomed to paying $20 to $40 each for their own polygraph, while legitimate examiners charge several hundred dollars per test. The disparity is obvious.

I am regularly asked to provide quotes for bodybuilding competitions, and have been told outright that they are not interested in having a real test done, that the “tests” are only done as a scare tactic to try to keep cheating to a minimum. The problem is that this tactic will only work once. After the cat is out of the bag, the deterrent feature of these fake exams is lost. The contestants have learned that they aren’t taking real polygraph exams, and therefor are free to cheat with little chance of getting caught.

What is the solution? Forget about polygraphing every contestant. Choose the top money winners and give them legitimate polygraph exams before the prize money is released. Real tests. Real results. Everyone wins.

Michael Martin is President of the Global Polygraph Network.

Good behavior is just as important at sporting events as it is any other time. Being kind and considerate of others’ feelings makes the experience of attending a game a positive one for all involved. (Plus, when we make our players feel good about what they are doing, they are much more likely to perform well — and maybe even win — than if we make them feel bad.)

Language:

Having a strong repertoire of the language we expect and desire from our children empowers them to do the right thing. Here are some suggestions for positive things we can all say at sporting events. (A positive tone of voice is important — each of these can be turned into a negative by a negative tone of voice; so, modeling includes positive voice tone.)

• “Good hit!” “Great kick!” “Way to go!” “Good game!” “Well done!”
• “Good effort!” “Nice try!” “Getting better!” “That’s OK!”
• “Ooo that was close!” “Almost!” “We’ll get ’em next time!”
• “Dig deep!” “Don’t give up!” “Go, ___!” “You can do it!”

Exercise:

We can turn sporting events on TV into character development opportunities. Before watching a game on TV, discuss positive cheers and take turns with your children naming positive things to say during a game.

Keep score, mark each time your child makes a positive cheer, and reinforce them with “great, cheer!” or “way to be positive!” If your child slips up and says something negative, say, “Oops! How could you turn that around into a supportive cheer?” And then give your child a high-five and a “good job for turning that around!”

At the end of the game, tell them how proud you are, “look at ALL the positive things you came up with to say.” To further reinforce the positive aspects, ask: “How did it make you feel? Did it feel different when you accidentally said something that wasn’t positive?”

Car Talk:

Have a conversation with your child about behavior at sporting events. Ask what behavior they enjoy being around and what they don’t. Ask how the various behaviors they describe make them feel — and how they might make others feel. Ask what the consequences might be if everyone behaved well (or poorly) at sporting events. Talk about how proud it makes you feel to see them behaving kindly. Ask them how it makes them feel when they behave kindly to others. Ask them if they think their teammates can perform at their best if the people around them are yelling negative things at them.

A Note on “Blaming the Ref”

It is easy to blame the ref when things don’t go well for our team, but the ref’s job is important and is probably the most difficult one of the game. Who, really, can keep their eye on EVERYTHING that is going on from ALL ANGLES at one time? No one. They try to be fair. We need to keep that in mind and explain that to our children as well.

Be patient, and be as consistent as possible. The rewards in good behavior are well worth the effort.

Are you the type to date around and only stick with one person for a month tops? Or are you more of that one boyfriend, high school sweet heart, date for three years plus kind of lover? No matter what you are or what you have been there is and always has been both pros and cons of being in a highly committed relationship. There’s no point in wasting time, here are ups and downs according to popular opinion.

PRO: It allows you to grow with somebody else and learn how to accept others in a way that is completely selfless. Having someone there for you can help you get over hard times much easier and help you strengthen your weaknesses and battle your addictions.

CON: Then again you can completely lose yourself and become molded into something you never were. You may even turn into your own worst enemy if the feelings are too strong.

PRO: You can become comfortable in your own skin to the point where sitting on the toilet in front of your lover is not embarrassing and not shaving for two weeks is okay.

CON: At the same time you can become too comfortable to the point where everyday is the same thing and the spontaneous factor just isn’t there anymore.

PRO: It’s a great way to spend special holidays, with someone you’ve been committed to for a long, long time.

CON: But if you want to go out with co-workers after work you might feel obligated to call and “ask for permission” or it may cause a fight due to a change in routine.

PRO: The sense of belonging is great. Knowing somebody will hold you down and never give up on you and your love can really boost someone’s overall well-being.

CON: Jealousy can become overwhelming if you are so serious you want to be married. That makes having opposite sex friends a lot harder.

PRO: Sharing expenses as far as living, driving, food, and vacations is ultra nice.

CON: Feeling like you have no control over your own money can be hard. What could be especially troubling is if you feel you have to make decisions together all the time.

PRO: But making decisions together can prove to be very beneficial, especially important life-altering decisions such as having surgery or buying a house.

CON: Sometimes being too wrapped up in one person disables you from making any new friends and it can easily destroy existing friendships as well.

PRO: Your family will be happy to see with someone you trust and who will keep you safe. Also, your goal of having kids young can be accomplished.

CON: An early pregnancy due to living with someone too soon can cause a lot of short term and long term problems in the relationship.

Today the American education is being reinvented. The assumptions that have governed its structures and power relationships for more than a century are being replaced. This reinvention is breeding all manner of novel approaches to schools, and hybrid arrangements that blur the line that has long separated public and private schools. For example, the best of what have come to be called charter schools possess elements of today’s public and private systems. Moreover, this new model is not an unbridled, laissez-faire, free-market one. The public retains its interest in the delivery of educational services paid for by public funds. Public authorities continue to set standards for educational performance-especially student achievement standards-of all schools receiving public funds and monitor whether those standards are achieved.

– Shift of power from producers to consumers. Public education has long been producer-oriented. The primary beneficiaries of this model are the school and its employees, not its customers. Bureaucrats, experts, and special interests control the system and make decisions within the framework of a public-school monopoly.

New studies show that students want higher standards of behavior and achievement, and that nearly six out of ten parents with children in public schools would send their children to private schools if they could afford to, which the analysts interpreted as “a public poised for flight.”

– Emphasis on results. The second principle guiding reinvention is the primacy of what children learn and how well they learn it-not on what rules schools follow, how they are run, the (worthy) intentions of educators, or what they spend. Administrators should monitor the academic results of education, letting individual schools decide how to achieve them-including yearly calendar, daily schedules, staffing arrangements, student grouping, budget decisions, and so forth.

– Accountability. Schools must establish accountability and create an assessment system that measures results. An accountability system begins with a clear set of learning standards or expectations. There are two types of standard. Content standards define the skills and knowledge students should attain at various stages-what they should know and do. Performance standards-sometimes called achievement levels-specify an expected level of proficiency-what is good enough to advance from one stage to the next.

Students should be promoted and graduate only when they have met specified standards; universities should admit students only when they meet college-level entry norms; and employers should examine transcripts and use them in their hiring decisions. Likewise, teachers, principals, and other responsible adults should be rewarded for success, penalized for failure, and dismissed if they or their schools cannot get the job done.

– School choice. Also guiding the reinvention of American education is the notion that schools can be different from one another rather than identical and that families should be free to choose among a variety of educational opportunities and settings. Schools should fit the differing needs of families and kids-not bureaucrats, state and local regulations, or union contracts. Various current proposals would allow non-government schools and home schoolers to receive money under choice plans: tax credits, tax-free K-12 education savings accounts, publicly (and privately) funded scholarships, and others. Because these scholarship dollars would be aid to families, not schools, they could be used at any lawfully operating school-public, private, or religious.

– Professionalism. The reinvention model holds that those who work in schools should be treated like-and conduct themselves as-professionals. This means deregulating the schools, freeing them from bureaucratic control and micromanagement, and allowing individual schools, educators, and parents wide latitude in decision-making on issues such as teaching loads and methods, staffing, and resource allocation.

– The education profession itself should be deregulated. Recruitment of educators for the reinvented public school should not be limited to graduates of teacher- or administrator-training programs. The teachers’ unions may be an obstacle to such reforms, but even they have shown some hopeful signs.

This new vision of American education is spreading rapidly, redefining public education, and blurring the line between public and private schools. It is creating a radically new system of education in which families choose from a continuum of opportunities and learning designs, with public money following the child to the school of choice. As lines blur and private and public schools become more alike (and different from today’s schools), private schools too will change. Mounting private school opposition to vouchers suggests that some would rather keep their independence than participate in a blurring that is apt to bring considerably more control from others. States, however, already have the authority to regulate private schools; it is thus unlikely that reinvention will destroy their autonomy. The new model allows them to remain “private” in several important ways: they are self-governing, free from most regulations, able to hire whomever they like, in control of their own curriculum, and attended by youngsters whose parents choose them.

The central principle organizing the academic program of most parochial schools is a core curriculum for all students regardless of background and future educational plans. Electives are limited, and required courses predominate.

Students of all racial and ethnic backgrounds respond well to the challenge. The focused core curriculum of a parochial school improves student achievement, particularly among disadvantaged students, and protects against the academic fads that sweep through the education world with such depressing frequency. Schools of the future will require more core academic coursework of their students, particularly socially and economically disadvantaged ones.

Such a structure requires a strong communal organization. Parochial educators view teaching as a vocation, a ministry of service. The schools promote personal interactions and shared experiences among those who work in, attend, and support them. Numerous activities unite staff, students, and supporters-including athletic events, fundraisers, rallies, school plays, alumni gatherings, retreats, and various forms of religious ritual and prayer. Academically, the core curriculum plays this unifying role. These promote a commonality of purpose that supports the school’s mission.

Parochial schools are typically less constrained by centrally controlled bureaucracies than are public schools. Nearly all important decisions are made at the school site, under the leadership of the principal. This allows a school to develop a distinctive character and sensitivity to the unique needs of students and families.

This market responsiveness is moderated by the fundamental beliefs and values that permeate the school. The unique educational philosophy of a parochial school affirms the existence of fundamental truths and includes a special, religiously based respect for the dignity of each person and the sacredness of human community. This perspective determines not only what students know but also the morality they will follow and the moral community the school creates.

Perhaps the greatest difference between the public and private realms is this explicit moral education, character development, and, in religious schools, religious instruction (though public schools in recent years have become more mindful of these issues).

Charter schools-(mostly) independent public schools of choice accountable for the results of student learning-comprise a serious attempt by the public sector to reinvent education along these lines and give public schools full autonomy. Unfortunately, not all charter school laws are equal: some display the facade of freedom but not the reality. Policymakers must resist the temptation to constrain charter operators with the current web of state statutes, rules, collective bargaining agreements, and the like.

As charter schools demonstrate, a public school is coming to mean any school willing to embrace high standards, enroll students without discrimination, and be accountable for its results, regardless of who owns or operates it. Public money follows the child to these schools, and what unites them is a compulsory set of academic outcomes confined to a core list of broadly accepted knowledge and skills.

American “public” schools of the future will not look, feel, or act like “government.” But they are plainly larger than the individual or family. In that sense, they satisfy the classic definition of a “mediating” institution, They are, in fact, examples of what contemporary analysts term “civil society.” They are voluntary institutions, neither compulsory nor monopolistic. They are more responsive to their communities than schools created by large public bureaucracies.

Schools, of course, should play a fundamental role in this process, but today’s conventional public schools are hobbled by bureaucratic constraints against religious education. Of course, in a pluralistic society there are bound to be varying ideas of what this means. Unfortunately, the current system of American public education cannot accommodate such variety. Thus if we are to revitalize our communities, if we are to rebuild the social capital of our families and neighborhoods, if we are to educate our young people, especially those who are most disadvantaged, we must allow families much more choice in schooling, and with it a flowering of variety, pluralism, and freedom. Antiquated laws and attitudes that favor the status quo are the only real limit on the future of American education.

When you are not filled with projections of how things should or could be, not filled with thoughts of the past or the future, then you wind up occupying the present. This act of being present brings many marvels with it. It leads to new and exciting experiences. It imbues shared experiences with a quality of creativity and co-creativity. Presence is a matter of the degree to which you are focused on the events in front of you. Being present is responding to what is actually happening, rather than reacting according to your previous experiences or future concerns. When in presence, you are not busy trying to create a specific future outcome.

Being present is not always the most desirable state. Sometimes the future needs attention, too, so you try to control the world in order to make your imagined future come to pass. There are times when that is appropriate, but often it’s like ordering the next meal while you’re eating the current one.

Being fully present in a relationship has a transformative effect. By giving full attention to what is present, you can see your partner more clearly, and hear more clearly what they are saying. By relinquishing the need to control the future, you also by definition give up attempts to control the other person. By not being concerned with the past or the future, a huge pool of possible conflicts is defused. “You didn’t call me” or “I want a white wedding” vanish. Almost always, dealing with the present is the way to go. Mentally screaming “No, I don’t want that spilt milk in my life” doesn’t help. You’ll have to mop it up at some time before you can move on.

One impediment to being fully present is when there are aspects of your partner that bug you. The first step in dealing with this is with language. By speaking in the present tense, the focus remains on what is present, rather than inviting conflict about the past or the future. Also, speak from the “I”, not from the “you.” Say “I feel embarrassed when you complain about the service”, rather than “You shouldn’t talk to the waiter like that.” The statement “I feel… ” is personal, and is about the present; “You should… ” is an attempt to control the other person. By removing criticism from the conversation, you make space for more openness and honesty from your partner, and by expressing your feelings, you create a situation where your partner may change as a result of his or her knowledge of your reactions.

The second step is to look at your own reactions. Do they arise from force of habit: “I’ve always put the cutlery handles down in the dishwasher.” What is the source of your irritation? Many times it is simply an assumption of how things ought to be. Sometimes it is an issue like honesty, financial behavior or the desire to have children that is so basic to who you are that no acceptance is possible. But if it’s not a deal breaker, look hard inside your self at your reaction and what is behind it. In the end, you can’t change your partner; you can only change your self.

Another aspect of being present is the experience of newness that it brings. Nothing is ever the same, and it is very mysterious and counter-intuitive. You would think that settling in for a movie or walking around the park would become drab through familiarity. However, they don’t. They are intrinsically different – there is no Groundhog Day. Another way to put this is that when you are not constrained by your past, it gives you an extraordinary sense of potential and growth. Change is not suppressed in favor of what has been, nor rejected in fear of what might happen. The result is a sense that you always have more to do and more to explore.

Practicing presence adds great richness to your life; problems fall away, and you experience a wonderful sense of joy. The power of this practice within a relationship has no limits.

Every year polls go out and statistics are gathered that show the number of male nurses in the nursing profession. Nurseweek Magazine gathers such statistics. They reveal that approximately 6 percent of nurses in the United States are male. That low percentage goes to show just what a minority they are in the profession. However, even with the small numbers and a profession that tends to treat all its employees like women, male nurses are finding benefits to working in a female-dominated environment.

Attitudes are Shifting

There was a time when male nurses were considered “not good enough to be doctors” by family and friends. After all, they reasoned, why would a man go into such a girly profession as nursing? Nurses also seemed suspicious of the men and wondered if they were just looking to pick up a wife. However, times have changed male nurses are seen with a different level of respect. Women are also more empowered and less threatened by men in their environment.

Communication is Key

Typically, women are more communicative than men, and have the desire for more consistent and affirming communication. Male nurses frequently report that they learn a great deal more from female instructors than male ones because they are willing to talk and teach more openly. Communication also helps men feel more at home in the workplace environment.

Childcare and Affirmation

Another positive to an environment dominated by women are the things hospitals offer in order to keep the main contingent happy. Men who are parents can enjoy the fact many hospitals offer childcare and good child benefit packages. They can also feel good about themselves as women create a positive workplace environment and tend to be more openly affirming. Men report an ease about knowing where they stand on their floors because they feel women are more open and affirming about what’s happening.

Satisfaction

Of course, the main reason men want to be nurses is the same reason anyone wants the job – the satisfaction of helping people in their healing process. Nursing is a tiring but satisfying career that many men feel gives them both a sense of identity and reward for doing something so needed. With the nursing shortage at its height, male nurses are enjoying financial rewards, corporate perks and educational opportunities just like female nurses. Male nurses also get a great deal of satisfaction from seeing a patient’s opinion change. Some patients will claim they don’t want a male nurse, but after having one, they will really open up to the idea that nursing is a job, not a gender.

Overall, male nurses have a lot of benefits coming their way and as society continues to alter its perception of them, we will see more male nurses in the years to come.

I have put together six types of goals that research shows are most likely to lead to happiness and well-being: Compassionate, Harmonious, Approach, Mastery, Challenging, Autonomous. (C.H.A.M.C.A.). The often least desirable counterparts of these types of goals are: Self-image, Obsessive, Avoidance, Performance, Easy, Controlled respectively (S.O.A.P.E.C.). Together these types of goals can be grouped into 6 dichotomies. Let’s take a look at each one.

Compassionate/Self-image

Compassionate goals include helping others. With compassionate goals you are just as happy and satisfied to see someone else succeed, as you are happy about your own success. Self-image goals are all about being concerned about how you look to others. Having self-image goals are related to being stressed out and anxious, as you are constantly worried about being evaluated by other people. In contrast, having compassionate goals is related to happiness and well-being.

Harmonious/Obsessive

Harmonious goals are goals that blend nicely with other aspects of your life. Obsessive goals are goals that you pursue relentlessly despite obvious harm to yourself, others around you or important relationships in your life. For example, moving to another city to get the job of your dreams, despite uprooting your kids and threatening your marriage. You may achieve your goal but not be happy with it. Happiness and well-being comes from having mostly harmonious goals.

Approach/Avoidance

Set your goals so that you are moving towards something (approach) rather than to get away from something (avoidance). It is easier to devise an action plan that moves you towards something you need or want than away from something. Avoidance goals can be reformulated into approach goals. For example, “I want to lose weight” can be reformulated into “I want to be able to run up the stairs without running out of breath”. This goal will likely include exercising more as well as other health-promoting behaviors. Weight loss will also likely result from your new lifestyle.

Mastery/Performance

People with mastery goals seek to learn and understand something new. People with performance goals seek to obtained favorable judgment from others. Having mastery goals is more related to persistence in the face of adversity, which is normal because satisfaction comes less from the final outcome than from the learning that takes place during the process of striving towards a goal. People with mastery goals are also less concerned with their ability level. They see failure as a chance to grow as a person. People with performance goals are concerned with ability level and view effort as sign of a lack of ability. They are also more likely to choose easy goals with a higher probability of success, which prevents them from reaching their full potential.

Challenging/Easy

To keep motivated goals have to be challenging enough as to not bore you but realistic enough as to not discourage you. A proper balance has to exist between your ability level and the goals you set. For example, lowering the bar for a high jumper is not likely to keep the jumper motivated. One the other hand, having the goal of making the high-jump Olympic team at 52 years of age may be unrealistic. This does not mean that you cannot set goals that are more challenging than your perceived level of ability can handle. However, you must be able to imagine that you are going to able to take necessary steps to achieve it. That is, to fill the gap between your current level of ability and the level of ability needed to achieve the goal. Achieving challenging goals provide you with a greater level of satisfaction, personal growth and self-worth than do easy goals. People often set easy goals when they are afraid that they will fail if the set more challenging goals.

Autonomous/Controlled

Autonomous motivation means that you are driven towards a goal because of intrinsic motivation. Intrinsic motivation means that you do need any external rewards, such as money, praise or status enhancement for you to keep being interested in the activity. The activity itself is rewarding to you. For example, your goal to become healthier will carry its own reward in making you feel better about yourself. If you do get an external reward for the activity, you would keep doing the activity without it. This differs from controlled motivation. With controlled motivation, your goal stems from something that you have to do, for example, meeting quotas or work objectives imposed by your employer. Also, if the only reason you have for achieving a goal is external reward then it is a control-motivated goal. Well-being and happiness is associated with goals that are autonomously motivated.

Not all of your goals have to be C.H.A.M.C.A. The context is important. In some situations, we need to set goals that are easy, if something we perceive as being easy needs to be done. Sometimes our goals are also controlled by reward, as when we are at work and need to get a job done. We may also be concerned about our self-image so that we don’t show up to work looking like a mess. It is also sometimes, O.K. to want to perform, for example, while playing a competitive sport. We also may want to avoid things like catching a cold or be obsessive about getting homework done. The important thing is to have proper balance in the types of goals we have. Too many self-image, obsessive, avoidance, performance, easy and controlled goals are not desirable.

The Appellate Division recently vacated a $300,000 jury award in a personal injury lawsuit due to plaintiff’s counsel’s improper use of a PowerPoint presentation during his closing argument. In this matter, Anthony Romano filed a lawsuit against Michael Stubbs in connection with an altercation which occurred in the Bergen County Courthouse on February 23, 2006.

On that date, Stubbs was in court for a hearing in connection with a domestic violence complaint filed by his wife and a determination as to whether a temporary restraining order should be made permanent. While in court, an officer approached Stubbs and told him that a warrant had been issued for his arrest due to his alleged violation earlier in the day of the temporary restraining order. Romano, who was an officer in the courtroom, assisted in arresting Romano after he resisted arrest. During the altercation, Stubbs fell on top of Romano forcing Stubb’s elbow into the ground. Stubbs ultimately pled guilty to a petty disorderly persons offense for this altercation.

Romano alleged that as a result of this incident he sustained an injury to the ulnar nerve in his elbow which required surgery. Additionally, Romano claimed that he injured his neck warranting a spinal fusion. Romano in turn filed a negligence lawsuit against Stubbs.

At issue in this case was plaintiff’s counsel’s use of a PowerPoint presentation during his closing argument. During the recess between defense counsel’s closing argument and the start of plaintiff’s counsel’s closing argument, it was disclosed for the first time that plaintiff intended to use a PowerPoint presentation during closing. Defense counsel objected to plaintiff’s counsel utilizing the PowerPoint presentation at that point. The trial judge permitted the use of the PowerPoint presentation finding that plaintiff’s counsel would not be projecting anything he would not say in his argument.

During his closing argument, plaintiff’s counsel utilized the PowerPoint presentation to support his argument that Stubbs decision to proceed to trial reflected a bad character and his refusal to accept responsibility for the happening of the incident. Additionally, plaintiff’s counsel argued that Stubbs and his attorney were acting in concert to blame Romano. Also, during the presentation, plaintiff’s counsel projected words indicating that Stubbs was a criminal, had a propensity for violence and that the jury needed to “send a message.” Ultimately, the jury returned a verdict of $300,000 to compensate Romano for his injuries.

In reviewing this matter, the Appellate Division noted that generally closing arguments based on the evidence are permissible, but arguments that “shift the jury’s focus from a fair evaluation of the evidence to pursue instead a course designed to inflame a jury, by appealing repeatedly to inappropriate and irrelevant considerations are not.” The Court recognized that while “counsel has broad latitude to passionately advocate their clients’ cases in summation, there are some clear boundaries.”

Taken as a whole, the Court found that plaintiff’s counsel had made improper arguments through the use of his PowerPoint presentation. The Court found that arguing and projecting words that: (1) the jury needed to send a message; (2) Stubbs was a violent person; (3) Stubbs was a criminal; (4) Stubbs decision to go to trial was evidence of a bad character; and (5) Stubbs and his counsel were “working” to blame Romano, constituted improper arguments. As such, the Court found that “the cumulative impact of multiple transgressions in plaintiff’s closing argument leaves us with no confidence in the fairness of the damages awarded.”

Accordingly, the damage award was vacated and the matter was sent back to the trial court for a retrial on damages.

Have you ever been called too sensitive, too nervous, too highly strung, too many feelings, too deep, too analytical, too, too, too…?! While being sensitive has its advantages, it’s also difficult being “too” sensitive. Sometimes we feel like we feel too much and we’d like to be able to switch our self off sometimes!

I switch off when I become aware and silent. In Italian, the word for sensitive is “sensible”, which means ‘to be aware of’. Being aware of others, our self, nature, music, beauty, art, being kind to our self and others, treating others as we would like to be treated is being sensitive. It does not mean fixing everyone, being responsible for everything and everyone, absorbing others’ energies, feeling depleted, feeling bad, feeling overwhelmed, feeling too much of everything and anything!

I think everyone has the capacity to be sensitive, it is a sign of emotional health to be aware of you, others and what is around you. Being considered sensitive is not the prerogative of a few “chosen ones”. My belief is that being highly sensitive, as it is generally understood, is actually an overloaded and overwhelmed nervous system. Common signs of being considered highly sensitive are hypervigilance, anxiety, nervousness, digestive problems, restlessness, sleeplessness, anger/rage etcetera. These signs are strong indicators, not of being sensitive, but of undischarged traumatic imprints on the nervous system. Energy that the nervous system generates to deal with threat to the organisms survival, and, for whatever reason, is not able to release and discharge, is called the freeze response. It is this frozen energy or imprint that causes these symptoms and that give rise to people being called highly sensitive.

Many highly sensitive people suffer from chronic conditions like IBS, CFS, depression, anxiety, autoimmune conditions and so on because of these repressed or unconscious imprints on the nervous system. Trauma expert, Dr Robert Scaer calls these, “dis-eases of the freeze response”. A dis-ease means a lack of ease. One of the most defining characteristics of being termed highly sensitive is a lack of ease. There is a nervous energy that always seems to be humming away in the background, and which can, very easily, be triggered into a ‘bigger’ response. There are no reserves or what is termed resilience in the nervous system. It’s all just too much and the person often feels overwhelmed by what others can usually take in their stride.

Highly sensitive people can be considered “weak” “soft” “pathetic” and “cry babies”. They are often shamed and criticized for their “over the top” responses, so they swallow and stuff many, if not all, of their needs, experiences, feelings, thoughts to keep “it all in” and contained, so as not to feel so overwhelmed or criticized by others. So, an already overloaded nervous system becomes more overwhelmed and eventually this excess undischarged energy may manifest, and usually does, as there is nowhere else for the energy to go, in dis-ease. EFT helps this frozen energy soften and move so it can be discharged from the overwhelmed nervous system.