There are many reasons why people behave differently from each other. One concept of transactional analysis (developed by Dr Eric Berne in the 1950’s) is that everyone has drivers (or working styles), which are established early in childhood. They stem from the environment around you and the way you are treated by other people. Messages that were given to you when you were young can influence how you go on to think and behave as an adult.
Drivers are characteristic ways of behaving, which are usually strengths, but may become weaknesses under stress.
There are five identified drivers. You may find that you identify with a couple and you may recognise some in other people.
Be Perfect
If your style is Be Perfect, it means that you will be really good at doing accurate detailed reports, you will be neat in your appearance and you will value cleanliness and tidiness. However, it can also mean that you believe that everything you do has to be absolutely right. You may not be satisfied with anything that you do, because, in your eyes, it will never be good enough. Delegation may be difficult because it is hard to trust others to do it right or other people may find it difficult to accept your standards.
Hurry Up
If Hurry Up is your preferred style, you will get a great deal done in a short period of time, however, you may find yourself overloaded and take on too much. You will always be in a hurry, often late for meetings, and always leaving things until the last moment before you do them. You may find that you end up with too many appointments in one day and may appear impatient to others.
Try Hard
If you have the Try Hard style, you will love new projects and new things to do, and work well under pressure. You are likely to have the belief that your personal value comes from the amount of effort you put into things. It is possible that you become more committed to trying rather than succeeding. Others can become frustrated that you turn small jobs into large ones to increase the amount of effort you can put in.
Be Strong
If you have the Be Strong style, you are great in a crisis, but can come across aloof. You believe that your own value comes from not revealing your feelings, by being the one who takes it all on your own shoulders rather than asking for help. In turn, other people can assume you are unemotional and don’t need positive strokes.
Please Others
If you have the Please Others style, you will be a great team member, and like to please other people. You will believe that you must always do what others ask of you in order to be valuable. You feel guilty about saying no, even when the request is unreasonable. You may find that you accept work or invitations from others instead of working on your own priorities. In turn, other people can become frustrated by your attempts to please them and interpret your actions as being insincere.
Managing your drivers
The descriptions should have helped you to identify what drives you. It is useful to recognise these in yourself and others, as it helps you to work to your strengths rather than be driven by them.
Self awareness helps you to identify how you can change the way you think and behave to be more effective. So, you could choose to change your behaviours in one of the following ways.
If your style is Be Perfect, believe that you’re good enough as you are.
If Hurry Up is your thing, take your time.
If you Try too Hard, just do it for a change!
If you feel that you need to Be Strong, take the opportunity to be open and express your needs from time to time.
For those of you who Please Others, please yourself for a change!
