When your husband is cheating you’re not looking for abstract plans that might help in the future. You want to know what you need to say to stop your cheating husband now. It’s completely understandable. It’s also the wisest possible course of action.

So, what are the three things you can say that will stop your cheating husband in his tracks?

1) “I’m sorry.” These are words that he probably doesn’t hear from you often enough. Perhaps he hears them more often than he says them but that doesn’t change the fact that saying these two teeny tiny little words at a time like this will get his attention. After all, he loves you and is feeling more than a little guilt of his own over the fact that he is cheating. To hear you apologize when he knows he should be the one doing the apologizing is powerfully effective.

2) “How can I make it better?” Why is this important to say? First of all, it lets him know that you are in this with him. He’s worried that you’re going to turn away, walk away, or run away. His heart is a little on his sleeves right now and he may even appear to be pushing you away. When you not only offer to help but ask him how you can help it lets him know that you’re in this for the long haul and encourages him to get his act in gear and on the same page.

3) “I respect you.” More than anything else in this world he wants your respect and admiration. He needs these things like fish need water. To hear you say that you still respect him at a time when he is losing more than a little self-respect is a good ego boost that will help him move forward and keep your relationship from bogging down in self-loathing episodes that often follow affairs like these.

Once you have his attention you can begin to weave a magical web of positive attitudes that will have your relationship flying high and your marriage back on track before he knows what’s hit him.

The real key lies in shocking him enough to stop his cheating in its tracks. What comes next is entirely up to you. You can hold him accountable but forgive him, give up on the relationship altogether, or give him every reason in the book to come back to you this time around and never stray again.