Saying goodbye after you have decided to move overseas is difficult and exciting at the same time. Following are tips you can use as you prepare for your journey so it becomes easier.
TIP # 1: Acknowledge Your Sadness and Enjoy Your Relationship While It Lasts:
When a good friend or loved one tells you that he or she is leaving, it’s okay to acknowledge your sadness. Your friend is in all likelihood feeling some sadness as well. Although, the leaver and the “leavee” seem to have different time lines for how and when they experience their feelings.
Sometimes we have a belief that says if we leave first (emotionally) then the loss won’t be as painful. If you have this belief and examine it closely, I think you’ll find that there is a hole in the logic. If someone we care about leaves, it hurts. This is one of the strong points noticed with therapy for expats.
It also helps to share your feelings with the person who is leaving and allow her to share her feelings as well. And surprisingly, by dealing consciously with these feelings, it may help release any stored away pain left over from childhood.
Tip # 2: Nothing Ventured, Nothing Gained:
When a soul-sister friend of mine recently left India, where I live, I knew then (and still know now) that I wouldn’t have given up our friendship in exchange for not feeling sadness and loss; not for a minute! For one thing, I was a better person for the experience of knowing her. But more importantly, it would have gone against one of my core beliefs which is to experience life as fully as possible.
Emotional risk is often difficult to deal with, yet I believe without it, life would lack passion and depth. For me, experiencing life as fully as I can is worth the price I have to pay, in the case above, feeling sad and lonely when my good friend left. This is an important point to consider with therapy for expats.
Tip # 3: Get Back on the Horse… :
If you have friends and people you care deeply about in your life, then dealing with loss is inevitable. We live in a time where people move about a lot, be it for job or career change, or just wanting to try living in another place. You may not like this fact,, but it sure beats the alternative, which is not to have friends and people we care about at all.
At the same time, sadness and the wish to protect ourselves from feeling sad is perfectly natural and understandable. We all want to enhance pleasure and minimize pain. Many have argued that these are core ingredients of being human. And when someone you love leaves, it might make sense for a period of time to retreat and nurse your wound, being kind and gentle toward yourself during this time. You are in all likelihood preparing the ground for new relationships to arise, especially when considering therapy for expats.
Soon it will be time to come back out and make new relationships or rekindle old ones. One tip for making meaningful relationships is to get involved in something you feel passionate about. There is nothing like two people doing something they both feel passionate about to create new bonds. And remember that when an old friend or lover leaves, it creates the space for a new one to come in. This is important to remember through your transition. You can always receive help with therapy for expats.
