Dating younger women is something most men don’t give much thought to unless they find themselves in that situation. Generally the woman is younger than the man, but what if she really is much younger than you?
Before we start, are you already dating, or is it just something that you hope will come about? If you’re not yet dating but you think there is a real chance she’ll agree to it, then let it happen naturally. Don’t try to force the issue because it may well not work.
Be patient and wait until you have a good opportunity to ask her, and only do so if all the signals you have been getting from her are positive.
What if you’re already dating? Here’s the best advice.
1. Don’t let age spoil things.
Even if she didn’t know your exact age at the start, she must have known approximately, and yet she still agreed to date you. Something drew the two of you together, and whatever it was had to be strong enough to overcome the age gap. This means (unless she was only interested in a one night stand) that a longer term relationship is by no means out of the question. So what then?
2. Talk about any potential problems early on in the relationship.
Men dating younger women are inclined to ignore the numerous difficulties that are bound to arise. But don’t do this. Discuss them frankly with your new girlfriend.
Perhaps you are reasonably well off and she values financial security very highly. There’s nothing wrong with that, but beware if that’s the only thing she seems interested in.
Conversely, is it the sheer youth and vigour of the younger woman that attracts you? Will the physical demands of her lifestyle be a problem for you? When the time and place are right, just talk about these things with her. You’ll find that both your minds are put at ease when you’ve faced up to the pitfalls that may lie ahead, and this will strengthen the relationship.
It helps here if you don’t take yourself too seriously. If you’re 31 and she’s 19 then you could joke that when you’re 51 she’ll be 39, and when you’re 83 she’ll be 71. This helps shrink the perceived age gap and make light of the issue.
3. Be prepared to stand up to outside criticism.
You’re both bound to face criticism from others, especially from family and close friends. They will point out that an older man may be unable to satisfy her for long in the realm of physical activities and socialising. After all, don’t older men prefer spending their evenings sitting in front of the fire, or the TV, wearing slippers?
And you’ll face the obvious innuendos relating to the physical attributes of a younger woman. Best to go along with that to a degree if you want to keep your friends (who may envy your ability to date women like her), but always come back to the real values and interests that you and your young girlfriend share.
Always make it clear that it’s the personal relationship that counts, and that you’re not just a man who likes dating younger women for the sake of it.
