Perfectionism doesn’t have to undermine your confidence, sap your energy, and bring your productivity to a frustrating halt.

Indeed, the good news is that you can counter the perfectionistic messages that you carry with you. With practice and steadiness, your wise, inner voice really can overcome the unhelpful nagging of your Inner Perfectionist.

Wondering what I mean? Well, let’s look at a couple of examples.

Here now are two perfectionistic messages that may sound familiar. Read the messages and then try the responses on for size – I think you’ll find them helpful!

Perfectionist Message: ‘It isn’t perfect yet.’

If this is something you often say to yourself, follow-up with these questions:

• What do you consider perfect?
• Is it attainable?
• Whose eyes are you seeing this through?
• Are you anticipating criticism?
• Are your expectations realistic or inflated?

Response from Your Wise Inner Voice: ‘Strive for excellence rather than perfection.’

Being able to really take this in is such a relief! And it has the added benefit of being true. When you let go of perfectionism you begin to experience the pleasure of accomplishment. As your self-confidence and sense of satisfaction in your work grow, the illusion of perfection becomes less and less appealing.

Perfectionist Message: ‘I know I can make it better.’

You may have certain weak areas, and it is wise to recognize them and work to strengthen them. But this is a place where endless time can also be wasted. How many times have you found yourself tweaking something until you couldn’t even see it clearly anymore?

Response from Your Wise Inner Voice: ‘I’ll ask for feedback.’

This response is powerful in 3 important ways:

1. Others can see mistakes and oversights with fresh eyes, so if there really is something to be made ‘better’ they will probably see it.
2. Letting this go and choosing to delegate it frees up your time so you can move on to your next task.
3. The more you open to and embrace others’ viewpoints the less you fear their responses. This is a very powerful way to fight perfectionism.

Think of perfectionism as a bully who saps your energy and sends you into unproductive paralysis. When you face that bully and celebrate your power to be productive, you are changing your life in a very fundamental and exciting way… and at the same time, you are also finding more time for what’s most important to you!

So, celebrate every step as you enhance your productivity and stop placing unfair demands on yourself all the time.

2011 federal law taxes estates exceeding $1 million for an individual or $2 million for a married couple at as much as 55 percent. Any gift to an individual of more than $13,000 in any given year may also be taxed as much as 45 percent with the exception of a $1 million lifetime exclusion per donor. For any individual concerned about these tax consequences, intra-family loans can be used for estate planning purposes, since any realized gains will be treated as free of all estate and gift taxes.

During our preliminary consultation with all of our estate planning clients, our firm will determine if our client is subject to the estate tax and if they can use intra-family loans to reduce the value of their estates. The appreciation of any investment made with the loan accrues outside of our client’s estate, as long as it is above the IRS rate. Rates for intra-family loans have declined as much as 53 percent since 2008. Since the interest rates are low and most asset values -such as stocks and real estate- are depressed, there is a much greater possibility that any investments purchased with an intra-family loan in 2010 will appreciate more than the loan’s cost.

The rate for a three year intra-family loan made in January 2010 is currently 0.57 percent. The rate is 2.45 percent for a loan of three years to nine years and 4.11 percent for a loan of nine years or more. These rates compare favorably with an average rate of 10.55 percent for a personal bank loan and 12.51 percent for a credit-union loan.

Parents can loan their children money to buy a business and the children can repay the loan using profits from the firm. Any future appreciation or income derived from the business beyond the loan amount are then considered part of the children’s estate and the parents’ estate remains protected. Moreover, any amount above the 1.65 interest rate will pass to the children free of all estate and gift taxes.

Family members should be aware the loans must be repaid in full with interest at the rate specified by the IRS. If the borrower doesn’t repay, it may be considered a gift subject to the gift tax.

I’m actually a little nervous about reviewing this book. This highly debated approach to parenting is typically either loved or hated. Baby Wise uses an eat-play-sleep cycle and parent directed feeding. Eat-play-sleep is simply have your child eat, have your child be stimulated for a time (length depending on age), and then have your child sleep until it is time to feed again. Baby Wise makes the claim that most babies are sleep deprived, and it is important to get a regular feeding and sleeping schedule for your child. Baby Wise also states that babies will sleep through the night at 8 weeks time if you use its method. Although the book states that parent direct feeding is not a clock feeding or a demand feeding approach, you soon understand through more reading that it is basically a clock feeding approach with a little wiggle room.

Pros: There is a lot of good parenting advice, and it has been helpful for me to read Baby Wise. I try to use an eat-play-sleep cycle (not like Baby Wise does, see the Cons). Baby Wise is strict on teaching babies to fall asleep on their own. I don’t nurse my child to sleep, and I personally think that it is healthy for babies to learn how to fall asleep without the aid of others. When my little one was first born, I used a demand feeding approach. I now use more of a clock feeding approach because I’ve learned how often she needs to eat, and it’s nice to have a schedule. This transition was slow and a learning process for me.

One other thing that I appreciate about Baby Wise is its caution on instinctively feeding your child when he or she is crying. If my little one is crying and she’s not likely to be hungry, feeding her may end up being worse for her. It could be gas or colic or something else. It also could just mask the real reason for her fussiness. I personally don’t initially feed her when she is fussy. I want to find the root cause.

Cons: I think the reason this book is either loved or hated is because of the rigidity to its approach. If you are unsuccessful at its method after weeks or months or trying, many people become bitter and believe it’s all hogwash.

First off, I will say that my baby sleeps through the night marvelously; she’s done this since 7 weeks. (I know I’m blessed.) This is not due to Baby Wise. I hadn’t even read the book then. I do like the eat-play-sleep cycle. My baby eats, then plays, and then sleeps, but does not sleep until her next feeding. I have tried and tried to get my little one to take naps that are longer than 45 minutes long. She won’t. She eats, plays, sleeps, plays, sleeps (sometimes), then eats.

My child is not a napper. She is not meeting the “expectations” of the Baby Wise method. At first that made me feel like a failure because I heard all the stories from parents who were raving about how great the book’s methods are.

Baby Wise doesn’t leave room for a baby’s individual differences in personality or habits. Yep, I certainly believe that babies are different even when they’re this young. Not all children fit into the Baby Wise mold. That is my biggest critique after reading the book and trying its methods. My other caution is using the parent directed feeding (basically clock feeding) approach. Until you know your child I wouldn’t recommend clock feeding. And really always be flexible with your schedule based on your child’s needs.

Price: You can find this book for $15 or less. Kindle version is around $10. Used can be cheaper.

I could go into a lot more about this book, its critiques, and its praises, but if you’re that interested, read it for yourself. I think you will find it helpful. If your child doesn’t fit into the Baby Wise mold, don’t sweat it. Certainly DO NOT base the ability of your parenting on this book. It is, however, worth a read.