Are you remorseful because you believe you have done something wrong or were inadequate to meet the circumstances surrounding the death of your loved one? Although not everyone who is mourning experiences guilt, it is a fairly common experience.

Guilt comes in many forms when mourning. There are numerous failures in relationships that result in guilt. Not recognizing the seriousness of an illness early on, not taking a loved one to the right emergency room, not feeling badly enough, not intervening in a stronger way when care seems to be inadequate, feeling one should have visited more frequently, not doing what the other wanted to do, and the list can go on and on.

Here are several things to consider about guilt and some suggestions for dealing with it. You can reduce its effects and outlast it.

1. Never forget: it is nearly impossible to love someone and after their death not be able to find something to feel guilty about. We all review our relationship with our loved one, and if we had a chance to do it over, would quickly change some of the things we did or did not do. Much of this present radical response has to do with the way we have been brought up and been conditioned by the culture.

2. The most frequent type of guilt I see with mourners is what has been called illegitimate or neurotic guilt. That is, the feelings of guilt are way out of proportion to the cause. Beliefs like, “I should have gotten him to stop smoking” or “I wasn’t there when he died as I said I would be” or “Why was I spared and she had to die” are primarily forms of neurotic guilt (as are all of the above in the Introduction). And most of us are into this kind of thinking after a loved one dies.

3. Some people are more guilt prone than others. Sometimes early in life you may have done something you should not have done as a child that has stuck with you to the present day. Anything similar to the original act is considered wrong and you have to feel guilty about it. If there is something in your background that has been a perpetual source of guilt, go to a professional counselor for assistance. It can be looked at in a new light.

4. True cause and effect guilt is having omitted or committed something you know was wrong. It could be morally, socially, or ethically wrong. Rational guilt helps keep us doing the things that make a society stable. Without it we wouldn’t be able to relate well with others, study, do an honest day’s work, or obey the laws. It helps keep us from straying too far into negative or wrong choices. It is civilization’s gate keeper, regulating individual and societal behavior.

5. Don’t mix shame with guilt. Sometimes mourners are ashamed with the way they have responded to a crisis or by the type of death (suicide, alcoholism, etc.). That shame means you feel you are a bad person because of your response or due to the nature of the situation. And it is totally untrue. Guilt generally has to do with your behavior or a lack of it, be sure you are focusing on what you supposedly did or did not due, and not on indicting yourself. Your self-talk is crucial in this regard. Tell yourself you did the best you could at the time. Stop talking with guilt language.

6. Evaluate your behavior with this word: deliberate. With most all of the guilt generated when mourning, like so may others, you did not deliberately set out to inflict pain or suffering or contribute to the circumstances surrounding the death. As you look back now with hindsight, it is easy to say that you should have done this or that. You are not omnipotent: you did not realize all of the possible scenarios that could evolve. No one can.

7. Pretend a friend has come to you about his/ her guilt–which is exactly the same as yours. Carefully examine what you would say after hearing all of the details. Be thorough. You are the judge and jury and need to hear your friend honestly speak about his guilt. At this time, be open to hearing about anger, negative feelings toward the deceased, and/or the need for self-punishment, all of which can fuel guilt. Now turn it around, and apply your recommendations to yourself and make every effort to follow them.

And if you did not ask your friend this question ask it now: “Did you do what you thought should be done at that time?” Of course you did. Then start working at diverting your attention when those neurotic guilt thoughts start returning–by focusing on all the good things you did for your beloved. This is daily homework. Try following your advice to your friend for at least three full days and you will be surprised at the results.

8. Examine the beliefs you hold that are supporting your guilt and reappraise the guidelines you live by. Confront your guilt by putting it to a rational test. What beliefs are supporting your guilt thinking? Something you learned from a parent, or your church, or new age thinking? Wrong teachings can wreak havoc for a lifetime.

Women, for example, are brought up to believe–unrealistically–that they are responsible for everything. Even the behavior of others. They are especially sensitive to the ravages of feeling false guilt. Do you have unreasonable expectations of yourself? Should you really feel guilty?

9. And what if your guilt is rational and true? The key to finding peace is to search for a way to make reparation and say you are sorry. It’s the only way to freedom. Find a quiet place and talk to the person who died. Tell him/her what you feel and that you will donate some time and/or treasure to make reparation or complete a project. The deceased already knows you tried to do your best. If your guilt involves a living relative or friend, again apologize, ask for forgiveness, and offer to make some form of reparation. Then work on forgiving yourself as you put it behind you.

Outside of the mourning process, as well as within it, guilt is one of the most pervasive emotions we have to deal with. So much guilt is falsely induced when mourning by questionable beliefs, rules, and the influence of negative and conflicting precepts. Learn all you can about it, intervene early, and remember it is a normal and in most instances a needed human emotion.

Do you own a motorcycle? If so, you know that riding this two wheeler provides a phenomenal experience. When it comes to riding a motorcycle, safety should be our number one priority. After all, you can enjoy life only when you are alive. Therefore, nothing can be more important than wearing a helmet before leaving for a journey on your bike. Before you get your hands on a helmet, make sure you do some research. Below are some helpful tips to help you.

Types of helmets

Helmets that are designed for motorcycles are rounder than those designed for bikes. Moreover, you have a lot of options to choose from, such as open face helmet, modular helmet, half shell helmet, dual sport and full face helmets, just to name a few. You can choose one based on your needs.

Purpose

If you need one for your daily commute to work, make sure you go for a high end helmet. These units are comfortable and provide improved dynamics in addition to reduced noise of the wind. As a matter of fact, versatility and comfort are two things that you need for traveling, riding or touring. On the other hand, if you need one for racing or riding, you may want to go for one that offers extra features, such as aggressive venting and tear off posts.

Features

Following features should be considered when making a choice.

1. Material

The material of the unit you buy effects other factors, such as the weight, safety rating and comfort. Common materials used in the making include carbon fiber, fiberglass composite and polycarbonate along with a layer of expanded polystyrene foam. Polycarbonate is cheap, flexible and absorbs energy. Fiberglass composite may flex, split and crush as it absorbs energy, but it costs more. So, make sure you know what your unit is composed of.

2. Weight

The weight of helmets is between 1.4 kg and 1.8kg. Make sure the one you choose properly fits. If the weight of the unit is not even on your head, it may feel heavy on your shoulders and head. Your neck may also get strained. Unlike a Full Face, modular units weight more.

Other features

Nowadays, helmets provide many technological features, such as communication provisions, wind reduction measures and integrated sunshade, to name a few. These features improve you riding experience.

Additional Safety Features

You may also want to ensure that your unit has extra safety features, such as emergency cheekpad release system. This system allows you to take off the helmet in case of a medical need.

Price

Often, the price of a helmet is based on the features and materials. In short, if you opt for an expensive unit, you can enjoy better technology, comfort and protection. However, even if you spend a bit less, you can still get a decent unit.

So, if you are going to invest in a good motorcycle helmet, we suggest that you consider the tips given in this article. Hope this helps.

Over three decades ago a grief therapist wrote that one of the most significant needs of anyone mourning the death of a loved one is to find safe people and safe places. Why? Because when we are hurting in our grief we are vulnerable and in need of protection that promotes a sense of security and safety.

Sanctuary has multiple meanings, however, I use it here to indicate a special place that provides rest, safety, as well as an informative and supportive environment, at a time when our defenses are down and we need reassurance.

Here’s what you should know to create and utilize your personal sanctuary.

1. Find a place in your home that is away from street traffic and other noises and can give privacy if possible with a view. Rearrange furniture so you have a comfortable chair or couch to sit or lie down on. If soothing music will help you unwind bring in a CD player or your ipod. Turn the phone off. You may want to bring a favorite picture of the beloved to look at. Here is where you can write in your diary to your loved one, read, pray, or simply lie down and elevate your feet.

Form the intention in your mind to use this retreat as your space of peace and quiet. Early in the mourning process, start looking forward to going there at some point during the day.

2. There are no obligations when you go to your sanctuary. Adopt the view that you have the right to have rest, silence, or your particular brand of relaxation. You can do what you want without interruption, be who you are with no pretenses, and display your feelings without concern for others. Say what you need to say out loud or in the silence of your heart. This time is rightfully yours and yours alone.

3. You may also consider using a local church as your sanctuary. Go there at different times of the day to see when the fewest number of people are present. Then plan on dropping in when you feel it is best suited to your purpose. Sit in the silence in a place which gives you most privacy, and let your mind wander to the pictures, statues, or architecture. Close your eyes and rest in the presence of divinity.

As you relax allow your beliefs about the presence of the unseen to give you support and the strength to choose a path to healing. This may also be the place you will want to use to ask for a sign that your loved one is okay, where you choose to talk to your deceased loved one, and to carefully listen to your intuition.

4. Another sanctuary providing great opportunity for comfort and inspiration is nature. If you have a quiet outside area on your property, or in your neighborhood, that you can visit every day (remember, you need sanctuary every day) set it up for your use. Or perhaps you have a porch or lanai with appropriate privacy and a view of birds, trees, and butterflies that is conducive to replenishing. The beauty of nature alone can provide powerful meaning, putting you in touch with the Divine, and bringing peace and comfort.

In summary, a sanctuary is an important need and right for mourners who wish to rest away from the whirlwind of people and demands made in times of great sadness. Make clear to your support system how much you need this type of environment, so that they can assist in respecting the privacy you require. Consider alternating the use of all three sanctuaries suggested.

Don’t feel you are spoiling yourself in this endeavor since grief work is intensely demanding over time, and as the weeks go by, the use of your sanctuary will save precious energy and be instrumental in maintaining health.

Its no secret that thousands of people around the country and in Arizona are losing their homes to foreclosure. One of the biggest issues I deal with as an Arizona real estate lawyer handling foreclosure-related cases is the question of what happens with a second mortgage or home equity line of credit after the first mortgage forecloses. The answer to this question requires an analysis of each individual’s specific situation, including the terms of their loan agreement, the circumstances of when they obtained the loan and what the funds were used for, and the distribution of funds upon the foreclosure sale of the property. Although most homeowners would be wise to speak with an Arizona foreclosure lawyer about their situation, the following article provides a general framework of the Arizona laws that affect a second mortgage lender’s ability to collect a deficiency balance owed after the first mortgage lender has foreclosed.

As an initial matter, it should be understood that this discussion only applies to loans secured by properties located in Arizona. Arizona’s laws regarding a lender’s ability to collect a deficiency balance are substantially different from the laws of other States, and if you have a loan on a property in another State, you must obtain the correct information from that jurisdiction.

One of the primary distinctions of Arizona law as it relates to a second mortgage lender’s ability to collect a deficiency balance is found in Arizona Revised Statute Section 33-729(A), which limits the lender’s ability to seek a deficiency if the money loaned “is given to secure the payment of the balance of the purchase price” provided the property is a single one-family or two-family home and consists of two and one-half acres or less. In other words, if the loan was “purchase money” used to buy the home, the lender’s only choice is to foreclose in the event of non-payment. If the lender cannot foreclose because the primary lender already has, it has no further recourse.

Of course, many Arizona homeowners facing foreclosure find themselves with second mortgages taken out after they bought their homes, with the funds used to make home improvements, pay off other debt, take vacations or purchase other items, or even used as down payments on other homes. In cases like these where the funds cannot be traced back to the original purchase of the property, the protections of Arizona law will likely not apply.

Tracing back to the original purchase is an important exercise for many lenders and homeowners, because so many second mortgages are the product of one or more refinances and/or sales and assignments by the lenders. Fortunately, Arizona Courts have made it clear that a refinanced loan retains its original character for purposes of the anti-deficiency statute, so a refinance will not affect the protection a homeowner may have under Section 33-729(A).

Because many refinances involved both purchase money and non-purchase money elements, however, homeowners should understand that some second mortgage lenders will seek to recover at least the non-purchase money portion of the loan. There are defenses available to such claims, and homeowners facing demands from lenders should seek the advice of an experienced Arizona foreclosure lawyer to discuss how to respond to such a lender’s demands.

Unfortunately, it is impossible to address every situation in a short article, and any homeowner facing foreclosure should seek additional guidance regarding tax implications, how to handle the HOA, and how your specific loans will be treated under Arizona law after a foreclosure.

Was there something that was left unsaid before your loved one died? Or was there some act that was never apologized for, perhaps an argument, an old grudge, or an outright abuse? It is difficult in most human relationships not to look back and feel sorry for something that was said or left unsaid. And, if one person is no longer there to hear that you are sorry, your grief can grind to an unbearable halt. You feel as though weighed down by an anchor.

Getting unfinished business with a deceased loved one out in the open is often not an easy thing to do. However, achieving peace of mind and heart is always possible. It is essential to find ways to finish the unfinished–or that emotional baggage will prolong your suffering. It can also interfere with your present relationships that are extremely important as you cope with your loss.

Here is what you need to know to begin your journey to resolution.

1. Clarify exactly what you are feeling concerned about (or angry) with regard to the deceased. Write it down in detail for three reasons. First, it can help you more fully understand and think more deeply about the difficulty once it’s on paper. Second, it can be useful if you decide to see a counselor to help you. Third, you can look back on it as the weeks and months go by, and you may well look at it from an altogether different perspective.

2. Decide if you are giving the problem more attention than it deserves. Try sharing your concern first with a close friend, one you trust and respect. Sometimes we feel bad about what might be a minor omission or really not an omission at all.

When my mother died, I could not remember the last time I had said to her, I love you. This bothered me to no end. A month after her death I finally went to a friend (a psychologist), who after listening intently said, “Lou, don’t you think your mother knew how much you loved her?” That comment was a major factor in my gradually letting go of my anchor.

3. Become familiar with the ways that are commonly used to express the emotions in completing unfinished business. Talking to the deceased in what is called the empty chair technique, using art or poetry, writing a letter of apology or forgiveness (and later bury it at the grave or burn it and spread the ashes), using exercise or pillow pounding are all frequently used and accepted ways that can help you in your dilemma.

4. Give yourself and/or the deceased loved one the benefit of the doubt. Are you being realistic about the circumstances around which the incident occurred? We are all good at second guessing and using hindsight (like I should have taken him to another doctor or brought her home, or taken him to a different emergency room). Are your current feelings and emotions clouding your judgment? Look at the positive aspects of your loved one in light of the transgression. How would he or she respond to your deep sense of unfinished business knowing all you did for him/her?

5. If you feel a sense of relief mixed in with your feelings, do not let guilt rob you of a normal human response. Yes, after all you have done, all the hard work, all the injections, all the lost sleep, all the problems with the medical establishment, and so on–it follows that a sense of relief is one common reaction. This guilt or other emotions associated with the sense of relief can exacerbate any unfinished business you may have.

6. Remember that finishing unfinished business sometimes means to forgive. Let the power of forgiveness play its role by forgiving yourself and/or the deceased. This act alone will change your life for the better. It is guaranteed, and I cannot emphasize this enough, you will be richer for it. And, you can assume, from the vantage point of where your deceased loved one is now–he/she forgives you. Truly forgiving takes time; keep saying it over and over out loud and silently, until in your heart you feel the truth.

Since unfinished business involves anything said or left unsaid that is considered an issue for you, search for a creative way to bring peace by saying exactly what you need to say to bring a sense of completion to the relationship. There is always something that can be done. If friends do not come up with an idea that helps, then go to a professional who can give many suggestions on how to reframe the issue and find release from your burden.

Although life is an unfinishedness, you have to establish a new relationship with the deceased. This is accomplished by using traditions, celebrations, and memories to keep him/her alive in your heart–and becoming an expert at loving in separation. That focus will also reduce the impact of any unfinished business.

Spotting a horse that is ready to win a race isn’t always easy. In fact, it is often the horse who first appears to be least likely to win who puts forth a big effort and wins. When that happens, they pay well and surprise many people. On the other hand, someone bet on that runner, but why?

First of all, there will always be people who bet on longshots and who will almost never bet on a favorite. So in any race, when a horse wins and it isn’t the favorite, some of those people will have it. Then there are the numbers players or people who play it because of its color or name. There can be any one of hundreds of reasons why someone might have backed that one.

On the other hand, there may be a very good and logical reason why the horse is backed. For the handicappers who know what to look for, to know when a horse is ready to run, horse racing handicapping is not a mystery.

What I look for when I am choosing horses that I think will run well and possibly win the race may be put into several categories.

First of all, there is the visual category, in other words, simply looking at the animal and evaluating its appearance. When a horse is fit and ready its coat is dappled. The racing dimple, the crease along its hind haunches, is deeply creased. In the post parade it will have its neck arched and have a slight bounce to its step as though on springs. When it is warming up, it will move fluidly and not show signs of lameness. If you are at the track and can check the horses out before the race, this is an excellent way to start the evaluation process.

The second key to the hunt for the fit and ready horse is to use the past performances to spot a horse that has run at the same or higher class level than its competition today. It must have been competitive at that level. It would be nice if this process was as simple as looking at speed figures or purse value, but unfortunately, it isn’t. Each horse that it is facing today has to also be evaluated to determine its true class and ability level and then compared to today’s runners. That is a job for a computer. Interpreting the data, once the numbers have been crunched, however, is still a job for a seasoned handicapper.

Even though a horse lost its last race, it may have performed at today’s class level, if you factor in pace and the ability level of the competition in past races. That is why a horse who was 5th in its last race may still win today’s race and yet, for most people, the horse will not appear ready to win.

Silence here means keeping quiet in the face of high expectations and urgency to speak out or act. It is saying nothing and doing nothing when your response is needed. One of the most distressing moments in life and in faith is not hearing from God when you need him most or when you feel he should act or react on an issue. Most times, it make you feel disappointed, betrayed, confused and can even lead to depression and backsliding if the feeling and situation are not promptly and properly managed. But actually, God’s silence does not always mean that he has abandoned a matter. It does not mean that he is confused or undecided. And it is also not a sign of weakness or lack of will to effectively, totally manage and direct all the affairs of men. He is ever sovereign. But he chooses his own timing and method of action and intervention. He knows every matter, everything before it begins. He controls it as it exists and he knows how it will ultimately end. Nothing takes him unawares. Nothing panics him. So he does not need our timing, emotions or opinions to take decisions. Yes, we want to talk about those times that you don’t get God’s immediate responses, direction, opinions or answers to your prayers and expectations. When you have done everything you should and it’s like he is not responding, the situation persists and you don’t know the next step to take. I mean when God is silent and heaven is quiet.

You will agree with me that we cannot discuss this topic without first taking into account the indelible, eternal words of that brave, brilliant, spiritual, poetic, indefatigable and humble but powerful great King David, “I pray to you, O LORD, my rock. Do not turn a deaf ear to me. For if you are silent, I might as well give up and die. Listen to my prayer for mercy as I cry out to you for help, as I lift my hands toward your holy sanctuary.” Psalm 28:1-2. Wow! Did you hear that? This guy knows how to put God in very tight conditions with his choice of words. No wonder his prayers are always effective. He loves results. Whether in the battle fields or on his knees, he plans and executes his actions and words carefully. Yes, it is good to hear from a man that has seen it all. He had seen the miraculous, the extraordinary, the spectacular, swift answers and deliverances from God. And he also experienced delays, rebukes, near-fatal, dangerous, reprimands and silence from him. And he knew the differences. Here, it was like he desperately needed divine intervention to survive, but it looked like heaven was totally silent. But let’s first briefly look at the times he enjoyed swift responses before we come back to the quiet periods. Is that okay with you?

When the Philistines heard that David had been crowned king of Israel, they came with their entire army to capture him, but David ran into his stronghold and from there he called upon the LORD. God answered and gave him victory over the Philistines. After a while, they came back and again God gave Israel victory. The enemy will always try to come back, so always be prepared. Then, after the death of Saul and Jonathan, David inquired from the LORD and the LORD told him to move back to Judah. But he didn’t just stop there. He moved further by asking the particular city to settle and the LORD told him, “Hebron!” Wow! He always wants to know the definite mind of God even in the minutest issues. And it was there that the men of Judah came to crown him their king. When you move with God’s direction you will be crowned. True. When the Amalekites raided, burned Ziklag and took away children and wives of David and his men, he cried unto God and the LORD told him to go after the raiders that he will surely recover all that was taken from him. And he did. He also cried desperately many times for God to protect him from the rampaging deranged King Saul. David always got swift response from heaven.

But at a point this fantastic relationship soured. And I believe that was when the king wrote some of those touching Psalms that will clearly show the state of a man that was disconnected and desperately needed a touch of that original sweet relationship with his maker. God looked silent; heaven looked sealed when our beloved David was going through the most trying periods of his life. He prayed, cried, repented but the strings of mishaps simply refused to break. One of his loved sons Amnon raped his half sister. Another preferred ‘beautiful’ son Absalom murdered the rapist and went on exile. He from there began to plan how to overthrow his father. He later succeeded, drove David away from the throne and out of Jerusalem, took his closest advisers and associates and even raped his father’s wives in public. The prodigal Absalom was all out to wipe out his father’s life and legacy. At a time the once great, anointed, majestic David wearing sackcloth and weeping said he was disappearing into the wilderness. My God! Tears. All these happened to the man after God’s heart because heaven has decided to be silent over his affairs. Now you still wonder why he screamed “O LORD save me. Please don’t be silent lest I give up and die.” And he was right. Yes, if God does not come to help us on time, there will be serious trouble. We may be tempted to give up or even perish in the process. Does God seem to be silent on you and your situation now? It may not even be out of your mistake, but you just suddenly find out that nothing is moving forward in your life again. We will continue.

Gabriel is the author of the books / audiobooks: Power of Midnight Prayer, Receive Your Healing, Breaking Generational Curses: Claiming Your Freedom, Never Again!, I Shall Not Die, Move Forward, Power of Sacrifice and many others https://www.amazon.com/Power-Midnight-Prayer-Gabriel-Agbo/dp/1475273738/ref=tmm_pap_swatch_0?_encoding=UTF8&qid=&sr=

For the best possible deals and sales, try to purchase tyres in spring and autumn. These are the off-peak seasons when specials and discounts prevail.

There are many different types of tyres to help with many weather and road conditions. Depending on your area and your traditional local weather, it may be wise to invest in tyres for the summer that not only can withstand heat, but also rain, or extreme road conditions like dirt or mountain roads, or road construction.

There are many reasons to invest in a new set of wheels and tyres. Buying new tyres doesn’t have to be a financial burden; there are many tricks to finding great deals on tyres, as well as knowing when to shop for the best prices. Many consumers wait too long to buy tyres, and tend to only buy one at a time and by the time the first one is old and worn you have to replace them again. The first thing to consider is which tyres need replacing. Ideally, you should replace all your car tyres at the same time, but this is rarely practical because front and rear tyres wear at different rates.

Many mechanics will recommend replacing all four tyres at once for the best price and performance. Most tyres should last 5 to 6 years with proper wheel balancing, rotations and maintenances. It’s wise not to wait until it’s too late to buy new wheels and tyres. Do not wait until the tread is worn down and the tyres are ‘bald’ before replacement. Driving on tyres with too little tread can be very dangerous. The handling is severely affected by the loss of tread, as well as making the tyres more fragile to flats or blowouts.

To help maintain stability in extreme conditions, such as emergency braking or a sudden swerve, you should always fit the newest or least-worn tyres on the rear axle. Keep an eye on your tyres and watch for signs of abnormal or uneven wear, as these will severely shorten the lifespan of the tyres. Remember when buying a set of new tyres you need to buy five tyres (for the spare as well). Make sure that you pump the tyres at the right pressure and always check your spare regularly. It is now easy to purchase wheels and tyres in-store or online and then have them fitted at the corresponding fitment center.

You can’t just postpone a backyard barbecue just because it’s a little breezy outside. Sure, it’s going to be more of a challenge but with the right preparation and a few adjustments, it’s something you can definitely overcome.

Here are some tried and tested tips for successful grilling during windy days:

Position your grill right

When preparing to cook on a windy day, you should anticipate the wind and find out its direction. If you’re using a charcoal grill, it’s ideal to turn the vents away from the wind. If you’re cooking with a gas grill, angle it away from the wind, perpendicular to your burner tubes’ flow of gas.

Position your grill at least 10 feet away from any structure (your house, trees, etc.) or any flammable objects.

Stock on charcoal

Depending on the intensity of the breeze, you’re going to use a lot more charcoal than you would need cooking on fair weather. Compared to other types of fuel, charcoal burns quicker when exposed to wind.

So stock up on charcoal and be extra attentive to what’s cooking on the grates – you may have to add charcoal repeatedly to keep the fire going and to make sure that your food is cooked right!

Open the lid at your own risk

A sudden gust of wind can cause the ashes inside the kettle to whirl and get onto your food. So don’t open the lid when it’s absolutely necessary and when you do, open it slowly and carefully to take a peek.

Monitor your grill closely

This is true for both charcoal and gas grills. If using the gas variety, check the burners from time to time as they have a high possibility of going out because of the breeze. If they do go out, shut off the gas valves immediately, open up the gas lid and allow the air to circulate for 5-8 minutes or until the smell of gas has dissipated before re-igniting your grill.

Prioritize safety

While grilling in mild to moderate breeze is possible, you yourself will be able to tell if the wind is too intense to light up your grill. A grill (especially the charcoal variety) toppled over by strong winds can be harmful and dangerous.

If you do decide to go ahead, you can opt to purchase a windscreen for your grill (most gas grills already come with this feature) or make one.

Follow these 5 tips for grilling during windy days for a hassle-free backyard barbecue!

MISTAKE NO. 1 Failing to ensure the employee knows that he or she is employed at will.

Be careful what you say orally or in writing when you make a job offer. The statements you make about the nature of the position or the long term opportunities with the company may be construed as a promise that the job is secure for a certain period, or that you would not fire the employee with out good cause. To protect yourself you can write an employment letter that states the title of the position, the date the job begins, the starting salary, reiterates the at will status of the employee, and explains and limits how the at will relationship can be altered in the future. The status should only be alterable by obtaining the signed consent of an important company official, like the president. I know that this is a hassle. If you are not going to do it, at least have the employee fill out and sign an application for employment; you can buy them from office supply stores. Make sure the application has a clause that notes the employee is employed at will.

MISTAKE NO. 2 Defining at will employment in your letter or employee handbook.

Be careful. If you try to define at will employment you may give the employee, his or her attorney, the labor commission, a judge or jury the chance to second guess you. Generally, at will employees can be legally terminated without cause if the employer has no illegal motivation for the termination. While the employee may perceive this as unfair, it is not actionable. Just use the term..

MISTAKE NO. 3 Engaging in discriminatory hiring practices.

Do not do it. State and Federal laws prohibit all but the smallest firms from discriminating based upon race, color, gender, religious beliefs, national origin, disability, or age. The antidiscrimination laws apply to all stages of the employment process: preparing job descriptions, writing ads, settling salaries, deciding whom to hire, promotion and discipline. The laws apply only to employers who have more than a certain number of employees; the number differs for each antidiscrimination law.

MISTAKE NO. 4 Asking unlawful questions in the interview.

The U.S. Equal Employment Opportunity Commission sets out examples of questions employers may not ask on its website. Here is a partial list of general inquiries you cannot ask an applicant: birthplace, age (other than asking if the applicant is over 18), race, height, weight, gender, and are you married? The Americans with Disabilities Act prohibits pre-employment questions about a disability. You may ask about the ability of the applicant to perform specific job functions. You may not enquire into the nature or severity of a disability, ask about medical treatment, or require an exam. After you make a conditional offer and before an applicant starts work, you are free to gather more details. You can require a medical exam or ask health related questions as long as you require this for all candidates who receive conditional offers in the job category.

MISTAKE NO. 5 Breaching the privacy rights of an individual.

Some individuals give incomplete information when they apply for a position. It is makes good business sense to do some background investigation. If a person lacks the requisite experience or a criminal record, you may have a problem. Seek only the information you need. Inform the applicant in writing if you will request information from schools, credit reporting agencies, former employers, etc.

MISTAKE NO. 6 Violating the Fair Credit Reporting Act.

A federal law imposes rules regarding obtaining and using consumer reports, credit reports, and background checks. The rules relate to any report prepared by a consumer reporting agency like TransUnion, Equifax a report prepared by a private detective would also be covered. You must notify a person in writing before you obtain the report. You need the person’s written permission.

If you get the report and you are going to take an action adverse to the person such as not hire them you must first give the person a copy of the report and a copy of A Summary of Your Rights Under the Fair Credit Reporting Act which is available from Federal Trade Commission website, or simply obtain one from the entity that prepared the report. After you have taken the adverse action you must notify the person. You should do it in writing and the notification must give the name, address and telephone number of the company that prepared the report. State the company that prepared the report did not make the decision to take the adverse action. State the person has the right to dispute the accuracy or completeness of the information furnished. State the person may obtain an additional free report from the credit agency upon request within 60 days.

MISTAKE NO. 7 Failing to fill out the paper work.

Form I-9, IRS Form W-4, New Hire Report to the State. Every employer must fill out the forms. Retain copies and comply with the relevant regulations. If you are a new company, before you hire any employees you must have an Employer Identification Number. To obtain one file form SS-4. An employer must also register with the California EDD after paying over $100 in total wages to one or more employees in a calendar quarter. Registration forms can be ordered on EDD’s website or downloaded.

Immigration laws prohibit employers from hiring aliens who lack authorization to work in the United States. You and the employee must complete the Form I-9 Employment Eligibility Verification. This one page form is retained by the employer, and can be used to show that the employer complied with the law and took the steps required to determine the employee was eligible to work legally in the United States.