Interpersonal relationships are social connections, associations and affiliations between people. They vary in levels of depth and intimacy and cover different aspects such as friendship, family, boy-girl relationship and marriage. Regardless of the different kinds of relationship or the different role which a person plays in a social entity, conflicts may arise and can strain a relationship. Trust is an important element in maintaining a healthy and harmonious relationship. Conflicts normally arise due to the betrayal of trust between two parties in a relationship. Whenever there is a conflict, parties may resort to hurling harsh words and insults on each other which may eventually lead to emotional stress.

Trust is the pillar which supports relationships. Lies are the culprits for distrust and suspicion in relationships. Lies should be taken seriously because for every time a lie is told, the level of trust will drop and create more and more suspicion between parties. Eventually, the person who tells the lies will lose his credibility and this will strain the relationship. In today’s modern society of heightened stress and competition, lies are inevitable and serve as a convenient tool to evade trouble and protect oneself. However, this form of convenience is exchanged with the reduction in trust. A person who has his trust misplaced before may have difficulty trusting people again. Therefore, with regards of relationship, once there is zero trust between both parties, this relationship has failed. Honesty is the best policy!

Words can be the most powerful tool but the most destructive weapon in the world. Words can be in the form of praise and compliment but also a weapon that can hurt and leave an emotional scar in a person. For instance, rumors are able to cause a person to break down and become adversely affected because of the large number of people being involved. When it comes to relationship, hurtful remarks and insults being hurled on a person in the fit of anger during conflicts can deeply affect the person’s psychological and emotional state. The impact of these words can be further intensified especially when it come out from a person who you are closely attached to. The emotional effect may heal over time but it can also change a person’s perception of humanity and relationships permanently.

In conclusion, trust and words are closely related to each other in a relationship. Any incorrect management of these two important elements can strain a relationship. Anger management, character building and emotional stress management are crucial to prevent conflicts and handle any aftermath of failed relationships. Therefore, one should not take things to be granted and learn to cherish relationships.

When people work in teams, they build relationships. Strong relationships allow for more productive and meaningful teamwork and collaboration. This cycle highlights the importance of relationships in teamwork. Relationships develop through working in teams and relationships enable individuals to work together in meaningful ways.

Given the importance of building strong relationships, it is essential to consider what skills and behaviors lead to the creation of strong and fulfilling relationships. By assisting children in developing these skills and behaviors, you are giving them tools to build a successful future that inevitably will require-and be enriched by-creating relationships and working with others.

Self-Disclosure

Self-disclosure is an act of revealing your thoughts and perspective about a present situation, or other relevant and meaningful information, to another person. Sharing personal thoughts is crucial when building relationships in teams. Self-disclosure allows team members to get to know one another better, identify common goals and overlapping values and, once common goals have been identified, allows you to work together toward accomplishing these goals. Just as strong relationships and teams are built through appropriate self-disclosure, the lack of self-disclosure between team members can result in the deterioration of relationships and influence the strength of a team. If an individual keeps quiet about his/her needs, desires and goals, other team members are likely to do the same; people in relationships tend to match the amount of disclosure coming from others. A breakdown in communication can lead to a team where members are not working together or recognizing and valuing one another’s needs and desires.

Trust

It is well-known that trust is the foundation for building and maintaining meaningful, productive relationships. This is certainly true of building relationships within a team, and when trust is established, team members are far more likely to take risks, communicate important information, and share personal thoughts and feelings through self-disclosure. Similar to the concept of self-disclosure, levels of trust are matched in relationships, and if one individual takes a risk and trusts others in the group, other team members are more likely to do the same. Feeling as though someone else trusts you makes it easier for you to trust that person in return.

Self-disclosure and trust are necessary in building relationships in many different contexts, including sports teams, the work environment, friend groups, and families. If adults can model these skills and behaviors, not only will the adults have more fulfilling and meaningful relationships, they will begin to teach their children how to build fulfilling and meaningful relationships in all areas of life.

Do you get confused every time your guy asks you to trust him? What is it with trust anyway? Well, trust is vital in relationships. It makes the relationship more secure. So, if you are wondering what does it mean when a guy wants you to trust him, the following will enlighten you on what he’s really up to:

Meaning # 1: He wants you to feel confident
Trusting someone is equivalent to being confident of yourself. This is why, when your guy wants you to trust him, it means that he wants you to be confident not only of yourself but have confidence on him as well. He wants you to know that there is nothing he will do to break that trust.

Meaning # 2: He wants to have a long-lasting relationship
No relationship can last for a long time without trust. The fact that a guy wants you to trust him means that he wants your relationship to be long-term. Moreover, you must remember that no relationship will ever survive without trust. So, you should instead be glad that your guy wants you to trust him because chances are, he’s preparing to spend the rest of his life with you.

Meaning # 3: He wants to start a relationship with you
If the guy who asks you to trust him isn’t your boyfriend, chances are, he wants to start a relationship with you. Trust is the foundation of a relationship, and no relationship can ever start and blossom without the trust factor.

Meaning # 4: He does not want your relationship to break apart
Stories of failing relationships due to lack of trust can always be heard. Your guy doesn’t want the same thing to happen between the two of you. Since he asked that you trust him, all he wants is for you to keep your faith in him and not initiate a break up.

Meaning # 5: He wants your relationship to be happy
Imagine being in a relationship where your guy doesn’t trust you. Seems horrible, right? If this is the case, then, you must realize that a happy relationship consists of two individuals who trust each other. No one wants a relationship that is full of drama.

Meaning # 6: He wants an open communication with you
You wouldn’t tell your guy intimate matters if don’t trust him. When a guy expresses his desire for you to trust him, he wants to relay that he needs you to be open to him and tell everything that concerns both of you. He is also opening himself up so that you can tell him matters even if such can hurt him personally.

Meaning # 7: He will not do anything that would hurt you
Trusting someone entails that you trust him not to hurt you. Therefore, if your guy has asked you to trust him, then, you can have an assurance that he will not break your heart sometime in the future. Moreover, hearing those words from a guy also means that he will not attempt to break the trust that you have given him.

Did you know that text messages can build trust in a relationship? Often we think of text messages as less intimate forms of communication. Surprisingly, if you use it right, it can plant seeds of care and rapport that can help build trust and show her that you are thinking about her. Here are ways in which text messages can build trust.

First off, texts show her that you keep her in mind. When someone gets a text, it reminds them of the person who sent it. This has a couple of effects. First, it shows her that you were thinking about her and wanted to communicate with her, which is a compliment. More importantly, studies show that the more we are exposed to someone, the more we are inclined to like them. Even better, if you get her curious through texts, she may even start chasing you a little. This shifts her mentality because, the more she invests in you, the more she trusts you. It’s helpful to think of texts as icing on the cake. They do not build the relationship, but they tip the scale in your favor. By making her aware of you, you become a familiar name in her mind, which always helps. And believe me that these little things make a big difference. One side note is that you do want to make sure she is reciprocating. If her texts are way shorter than yours or if she rarely answers, then you will come across as needy as opposed to charming.

Secondly, texts can create a mutual reality when they are creative. For example, fun texts can offer her memories that you both share together. What is interesting about the mind is that, if you feel a certain emotion about someone, it doesn’t matter if it is made up or not. For instance, joking that you are both going to rob banks together in order to start mischief can create an unconscious bond since she is thinking of you acting together. This “us’ mentality is important for trust since a successful relationship relies on communication and a team spirit.

Finally, texts can help open up her playful side to you. In order to do this, you want to be playful yourself. For example you can text her something absurd such as asking her to send a you a helicopter so you can skip traffic. Making her laugh is the secret to creating comfort. The more comfortable she is with you, the more she will trust you. Try these text messaging tips to get the girl of your dreams! What are you waiting for? Pick up the phone and text her!

Trust in a relationship is a funny, fragile thing. On the one hand, it is a basic essential ingredient of a successful partnership between you and your lover. A relationship just does not work without it. On the other hand, when it disappears, bad things happen. The relationship may well go right down the drain.

Even if it is not wrecked completely, it will be a slow and difficult job to get things back on an even keel. In a word, once bitten, twice shy. Or, to put it another way, if a man cheated or abused her (verbally or physically), why should she trust him or anyone again? HOW can she put her faith in someone again? Answer: she can’t. At least not for now.

It is a common reaction to blame all men for the sins of her boyfriend or spouse. And do not rush to judgement here. Men do the same thing and react much the same way, when faced with betrayal and lack of trust from their girlfriends. The point is, you need to keep all this unpleasant stuff in the back of your mind, when dating a girl who has trouble trusting you or any man.

She may not tell you why or what happened to her, at least not at first. But it is probably because there was a lack of trust in a relationship that she was recently in. If you continue to go out with this girl, you will no doubt soon get all the gory details.

For now, though, you must be patient. You need to show her that you are not like her ex boyfriend who treated her badly, even though you do not know exactly what happened. It does not matter right now. Just do the right thing, always, without exception, starting with the small stuff.

Be on time for dates. If you say you will call her tomorrow night, do it. If you promise to do something or arrange something, do it without fail. Little by little, with time, love and patience, you will feel her opening up to you. Eventually, she may begin to talk about what happened in that previous relationship to make her so fearful and untrusting.

Be careful now. She wants your support, not your opinion. Just nod along wisely, and be sympathetic. She may say things like, She does not think she could ever love again. You can reply that things which seem impossible just take a little longer to do, and time heals all wounds. She may deliberately make things hard for you, to test you.

She needs to know if you are going to cut and run at the first sign of trouble. She also wants to make you work to win her over, to increase her value in your eyes. In any case, here is a very important point: Never make light of her pain or problems, even the small aspects of them. They are very real to her.

Be consistent and dependable. Be the one she relies on and leans on. She wants to know whether she can count on you for love and support, in good times and bad. Be there when she needs you. Let her know that she is your top priority. Give her small gifts occasionally. If she has children, make a very special effort to get to know them and spend fun time with them.

Without seeming to, she is watching closely to see how you interact with her kids. If you don’t, that could be a deal-breaker. Also, tell her she is hot. Let her know you loved the hamburgers she whipped up in nothing flat. Women can be insecure, and she needs reminding what a wonderful, beautiful girl she really is.

Building trust in a relationship in this way, may seem like a tall order at first. It may even seem to you that you are putting a lot more into this relationship than you are getting out of it. Stick it out, and it should pay off hugely later on. Things will balance out as the relationship progresses. And you could well find yourself with a loving, caring girl who simply adores you!

Trust is an extremely powerful concept. It takes time to build yet can be broken within seconds. Once broken, it takes far more time to rebuild it than it did to establish it in the first place. An honest relationship with open communication is imperative between parent and child, with the relationship of trust probably being the hardest one to establish. Aside from love, trust is the most important and strongest element you can establish with your children. If they can trust and believe in you, they will model that and become trustworthy. However, if they can’t trust and believe in you, they lose all faith in humanity and grow to have no respect for the bonds of trust.

Before writing this article, I asked my own children, “Do you trust me? I mean, do you really trust me?” What I learned from their answers and reasoning is that what creates trust from a parent’s perspective differs than from a child’s perspective. Parents have a hard time trusting children because of their sometimes dishonest and sneaky nature. However, if children are raised to value honesty, they will talk openly with parents and not feel the need to sneak around or lie. This allows parents to be informed and make informed choices when guiding children along life’s road. But I can guarantee you, if children don’t trust their parents for whatever reason, they will do everything they can to keep mom and dad in the dark. If you want to know what your children are doing, they need to be able to trust you enough to let you in on it. With that in mind, from the perspective of a child (which is the most important one because it is the one we, as parents, are trying to establish), here are the 5 most effective ways for a parent to earn a child’s trust:

1. Keep your word. Keeping your word about everything possible, no matter how small, is imperative. When parents tell a child they are going to do something, they need to make sure to follow through and do it. A pattern of promises kept lets children know that when mom or dad says something, they can take it to the bank. They trust that your word is as good as gold. In our home, we try to abide by the old principle, “Your word is your bond.” If you say you’re going to do something, do it. If you say something will happen, it needs to happen. But if you say something will be and repeatedly fail on your promises, your children will quickly learn that they can’t trust a word you say. Broken promises are a good way to lose valuable trust.

2. Be honest. Sure, parents sometimes must tell a little “white lie” to protect their children. But when it comes to important and meaningful questions, the best policy is to be honest, even if you have to sugar-coat it a little. Being honest does two things: It lets the child know that your answers are truthful, allowing them to be able to act upon them with confidence, and it sends the child the message that honesty, no matter how difficult it can sometimes be, is the right thing to do. By believing in honesty by seeing your example, children grow to be honest in return, allowing you to know they are where they say they are and they’re doing what they said they would be doing. Honesty without distorted repercussion establishes a child’s trust that they can talk to parents about anything.

3. Keep your cool. Parents who are approachable about sensitive issues build trust with the child. If a child knows he can come to you and you won’t “flip out” over something that warrants attention, he will trust you to help him come up with solutions and will trust your guidance through the situation. Parents who fly off the handle about issue after issue quickly send the message that they can’t be trusted to hear the child because the child is afraid of yelling, screaming, beating, and punishment. Parents who lose their cool and throw judgment at the child teach the child never to come back with an issue again. When the child can’t trust the parent to listen calmly, they turn to their inexperienced friends instead, and those are the last people you want guiding your child.

4. Be there for them. When kids know that mom and dad will be there for them, supporting them through crisis after crisis, they develop a bond of trust that is critical to open communication. My daughter said, “You were always there for me. Right or wrong, I knew you’d be right there.” By her knowing that I was on her team, even if we did have private conversations pointing out what she did wrong, she trusted that I was reliable. She knew that even when nobody else was there, I was, allowing her to put her full faith and trust in me. And since she trusted me, she shared a lot more with me than other girls did with their parents.

5. Be a role model. Don’t do anything sneaky or wrong that you wouldn’t raise your kids to do. Cheating, stealing, and disrespecting authority are behaviors your child will emulate. When a child hears you talk about trustworthy behavior, then sees you doing things that are completely contradictory to what you preached, they learn that if YOU can’t be trusted to be a good person, it’s okay for them to drop the efforts that establish trust, too. Exemplary behavior teaches lessons and establishes trust in your integrity. Poor, unacceptable behavior teaches a double standard, which is the same as being two-faced, and that’s the best way to lose your integrity and trust from your children.

Children watch how we, as parents, behave. If we keep our word, are honest, remain calm, are steadfast, and are well-behaved as we ask them to be, they learn that we can be trusted under all circumstances. And this level of trust, while hard to establish, is critical in raising children through the confusing years of adolescence. If you lay the groundwork for trust early, keep it strong through adolescence, and continue to respect it into adulthood, your children will never take anything you say or do with a grain of salt. Establish trust and you’re on your way to raising respectful, honest, moral human beings. Fail to be trustworthy and you can bet your children are up to way more than you know. As for me, I’d rather have trust and know what’s going on than be a lying dictator and be left in the dark. Aside from love, which is inherent, trust is the hardest, yet most valuable bond available when guiding children through the smoke and mirrors of life.

While the common assumption is that trust funds are only for the wealthy, a trust fund can actually be leveraged into an effective financial tool for a larger range of income levels.

The basic concept of a trust places a separate legal entity in control of financial assets (property, savings, etc.) for the benefit of the beneficiary of the trust. The individual who establishes the trust is referred to as the donor or grantor and the group or entity responsible for managing and executing the trust is known as the trustee.

One of the most common goals for establishing a trust is to separate the benefits of property ownership into current and future portions. Common trust designs first pass trust benefits on to one’s surviving spouse, and next to the remainder beneficiaries (children, grandchildren, etc.).

What are some reasons for creating a trust fund?

o To help reduce certain types of estate taxes.

o To establish supervision of your assets in case you become unable to personally oversee them

o To transfer your assets more easily to your beneficiaries in the event of your death

o To provide for minors (e.g. your children) who might lack the financial experience needed to appropriately administer their assets

Establishing a trust may not necessarily be the best choice for your situations. Sometimes a well-written will is more effective.

Many of us trust too easily only to discover that we were betrayed. Others of us don’t trust at all. Trusting too quickly, or not trusting at all, usually says more about us than about the other person. Trust is not something that we want to automatically do when we meet someone. We also don’t want to automatically mistrust someone either. Some of us experience an involuntary response to trust, or not to trust, and neither one of these extremes serve us well.

Trust is something that takes time. It’s a process.

Trust is a process

When I say, trust is a process, it means that it takes time to get to know someone. If we enter a relationship at a slow and steady pace, we will discover more about who the other person’s true self. We can then determine whether they can be trusted with our feelings, and our shared personal information, because our trust is the greatest gift we can give someone.

Finding the Balance

Some of us were betrayed early in life, and we don’t trust easily because of that. Others so desperately want to be in a relationship, or a friendship, that we rush to trust someone to make that happen. We don’t give ourselves the opportunity, and time, to get to know that person to determine if they are trustworthy, or not.

In adulthood, often not being able to trust a friend, or a potential romantic partner, may be because we have been betrayed in our childhood, adolescence, or at some time as an adult. The person desiring our trust may very well be trustworthy, however we may not be able to recognize this due to our history.

Our Past Relationships Reflected in The Present

One of the first big tasks of our lives is establishing trust versus mistrust. As a child, we develop a sense that our needs will be met, versus a sense that they won’t. Our view of the world is often determined by how secure we feel that we can rely on others for our expectations to be met. If we have had good, consistent relationships in the past, we may assume as much from our current and future relationships, and trust too easily based upon this experience.

If our parents, or our experiences in past relationships, were inconsistent in meeting our needs, we may fear current and future relationships will respond the same way. We make ourselves vulnerable when we trust. Withholding our trust may be used as self-preservation to protect us from being hurt again. How can I trust myself from past mistakes?

It’s Not You, It’s Me

Sometimes it is challenging to differentiate to determine if we are not feeling trustworthy of someone else. Is it about them? Or is it about our own history? So many times, I have heard during psychotherapy sessions that, “My friend is talking about other people and I’m uncomfortable. I don’t know if I ought to trust them or not.”

A Trust and a Power of Attorney for Finances serve two separate, but complimentary functions.

A Power of Attorney for Finances appoints someone to handle your money, property and bills when you are incapacitated. The person nominated should be someone who is good with money and responsible enough to care for your property. The person appointed is called an “attorney-in-fact”, which has nothing to do with being a lawyer. A lawyer is an “attorney at law”. A Power of Attorney for Finances is sometimes called a Durable Power of Attorney. “Durable” means the Power of Attorney remains valid, even if you become incapacitated. There can also be a “power of attorney for healthcare,” that is a separate document and unrelated to your finances. Most lawyers mean a Power of Attorney for Finances when they say “power of attorney.” If they mean the kind that is for healthcare, they generally say so.

A Living Trust can provide greater protection and easier management than relying upon a Power of Attorney alone. Think of a Trust as being a special box into which you place your assets (bank accounts, stocks, your home, rental properties, etc.) The person you appoint to take care of the box is called the “Trustee”. This person is NOT the “Executor”. An Executor is appointed in a Will, approved by a court, and only has authority after you die. A Trustee generally does not need court approval, and can handle things during your lifetime “and” after your death. This is why it is called a “living” trust. It is customary (though not required) to name the same person as Trustee and as attorney-in-fact, so that control of both Trust and non-Trust financial matters are centralized with one person.

Even if you have a Trust, you still need a Power of Attorney because it applies, during your lifetime, to management and control of your property that is “not” in the Trust. Certain property does not get put into your Trust during your lifetime. For example:

• If you try to title your IRA to your trust, the IRS will treat that as an early withdrawal of the entire account. Your attorney-in-fact can direct IRA investments, contributions and withdrawals.
• If you’re receiving social security, your right to benefits can only be held personally, not in a Trust. Once a monthly benefit is paid to you, the amount paid can be placed in your Trust, but not prior to payment. Your attorney-in-fact can transfer social security payments into your Trust and access your records with the Social Security Administration.
• Your attorney-in-fact has authority to prepare and sign your personal tax returns or speak to the I.R.S. about your taxes. Your Trustee does not.
• Your attorney-in-fact, but not your Trustee, can make Medicare benefits elections and enforce your rights under Medicare.
• If you forgot to put an asset into your Trust, your attorney-in-fact can make that transfer.

A good estate plan contains both of these important documents, but if you can only have one, choose the Power of Attorney. Without it, your loved ones will need a court ordered conservator or guardian to handle your property. This requires an expense and very public procedure. Whether you choose both documents or one over the other, they should only be prepared with the help of a lawyer. This will ensure that you receive the full benefit of your rights and options, while avoiding unintended consequences.

Pick up any business publication today and it is likely you will see at least one article on the subject of employee engagement. Employee engagement is the degree to which employees work with passion and feel a profound connection to their company. Gallup International recently reported that businesses in the top 24% of employee engagement had less turnover and a higher percentage of customer loyalty, profitability and revenue.

The research into employee engagement goes on to say that trust in the workplace is the foundation of employee engagement. If that is true, it would be useful if we could get a better idea of what really constitutes trust between employees and managers or organizations.

In organization’s today, trust is a two-way street. Employees want to work for a manager and for an organization they can have trust in, and managers want to be able to trust their employees. The problem is that trust is a nebulous concept–not unlike honesty, energy and commitment. We value these attributes in our employees and colleagues, but we don’t all agree on what constitutes them. Many of us say, “We’ll know it when we see it,” or “I trust everyone until they prove me wrong.”

One useful way to define “trust” is to segment it into two types of trust: confidence trust and competence trust. “Confidence trust,” it is said, is the belief that you can count on the other person to do the right thing or act in positive, ethical ways. “Competence trust,” on the other hand, is belief in the person’s capability to do the job or to complete the task. Competence trust may be synonymous with one’s “capabilities.” Confidence trust is synonymous with one’s “willingness to do the right thing.”

Let’s take a look at a few examples.

Phil has been a project manager at a financial institution for 10 years. He has been a strong performer and has a reputation for hard work, excellent communication skills and a highly professional manner. When a recently-hired VP was looking to add project managers to her team, she interviewed multiple candidates and chose Phil. Phil’s reputation preceded him, and the VP believed that Phil would continue to be a top performer. Phil didn’t disappoint, and at his annual performance review, the VP indicated that Phil exceeded the standards for this position. She rewarded Phil both financially and with a nomination for a Leadership Team award–a prestigious honor granted annually to employees who exemplify the company’s core values. Phil enjoyed both confidence trust in that the new VP was willing to believe in him, “sight unseen,” and competence trust in that he continued to demonstrate his capabilities throughout the year.

Likewise, the VP enjoyed Phil’s trust–both in her competence as a manager to set expectations, hold employees accountable for results, measure those results and reward performance both financially and with significant recognition, and in her confidence that he could and would perform “as advertised.”

In this example, the trust that each person placed in the other was appropriate and the end result was a win-win for both employee and manager.

Often, however, this is not the case. Consider what happened when Emily, a very experienced researcher in the pharmaceutical industry took a new role with a company in her field. While Emily continued to perform to her own high standards, her manager spent far more time with her teammates who were underperforming. He reasoned that he needed to help these employees improve their performance, and he tried to provide indepth coaching for each of them. When Emily had asked her manager to provide peer review feedback on several papers she was writing, he agreed, but he was always busy or involved with her teammates when Emily asked him to review her work. Additionally, her manager was either chronically late for team meetings he called or missed them altogether when something else came up. Although Emily had accepted her position, in part, because of the professional reputation of her manager, she was beginning to question whether he was truly up-to-date on the latest scientific research studies. When it came time for Emily’s annual performance review, Emily received very positive feedback on her work and a very good salary increase. Her manager definitely had competence trust that Emily was demonstrating strong capabilities, and he behaved as though he had confidence that she would continue to do so, with little to no supervision. What he didn’t realize, though, was that Emily’s trust in him–both to perform his managerial role and to care about Emily and her work–had eroded.

The employer/employee compact that is so dependent upon trust will probably continue to be sound in the case of Phil. In Emily’s case, however, she may begin to question why she joined this company if she has little to no trust in her manager to provide what it is that she needs to continue to be successful in her job.

What can we learn from the situations involving Phil and Emily, and how can managers ensure that both types of trust are being demonstrated by themselves and their employees?

Communication is truly the key to building trust. As a manager, if you set specific, measurable expectations, provide both positive and corrective feedback, understand your employees’ goals and motivations and recognize and reward top performers, you are well on your way to gaining or sustaining the employee’s trust in you as a competent manager. It is especially important to remember to provide feedback to excellent performers as it is to those who are challenged. And, if you promise something to an employee–“do what you say you will do.” That will garner more respect than almost anything else you can do.

Employees will be much more inclined to be positive and energetic about their jobs if they have trust in their managers. However, on that two-way street, employees must also ensure that they are demonstrating their capabilities, seeking feedback, asking how they can help the company be even more successful, and helping their managers understand what they need to be successful.

So, as you think more about that elusive concept of “trust,” ask yourself, “How are you demonstrating both confidence trust and competence trust with your employees?” Now, think about how your employees would answer these questions about themselves and you. Better yet, go ask them!