If you’re a woman who loves your man too much, what are the things that you can do for him to reciprocate your feelings? Or if you are the type who has the tendency to be obsessed with a man, how can you be in a healthy relationship and finally meet you’re Mr Right? These are the questions that women who love too much asks every time. Although they seem really complex and difficult, there are actually a few things that we can begin doing or practicing to get the lifetime partner we desire. And it all begins with ourselves.

Here are 4 easy, realistic ways to capture his heart and make him love you forever.

• Analyze yourself. Your traits and attitude towards men in general.

Face the mirror and ask yourself, are you desirable? If your answer is No, then your answer is Incorrect. Ask yourself the same question over and over until your answer becomes a YES. Because you are indeed desirable. The problem for women who love too much or at least for those who thinks they are, is the big word Confidence. We tend to cling to men because we feel that nobody else will love us when they leave us. Little did we know that they leave us because we push them away with our possessive attitude. No man would want to be with a girl who thinks they are ugly.

One trick that I learned from a former colleague is to face the mirror as soon as you wake up in the morning. Tell yourself YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL several times until you really feel beautiful with your messy hair, hanging eye bags, puffy cheeks, pale skin, bad breath… Imagine if you can feel beautiful with this look then no other look or situation can mess up your attitude towards the day. DO this and notice change.

• Analyze the traits of the man you desire. His education level, his likes, and basically what will take him to look up from his phone and take a good look at you

What does he do? What are his hobbies? His family background? Is he the macho or sensitive type? Is he closer to his mom or dad? You might think I am kidding but this is really important. My husband is closer to his dad than his mom. Good thing his dad puts his family first that’s why my husband is the family man that he is.

I believe this is an important question as it might also make you rethink on the “man that you want now” compared to “the ideal man” that you want to spend the rest of your life with. This will also make you in a sense “adjust” your values, your hobbies, your likes with him. If he likes watching basketball like my husband, then you might want to read/research on basketball stuff. If he’s a gamer, you might want to install the same game app in your phone. Sometimes you must meet him halfway without changing yourself completely.

• Show him you need him while keeping your independence.

The Yin Yang of a woman in a relationship. How to do this exactly is the biggest question. I came to know this after I begin to notice that my guy friends marry single mothers. What is it with single mothers? One, they have a child/children who completes their being. In short, they don’t need a man who can complicate things. So they are very, very independent. But then someone nice will come along. Maybe a guy who accepts her, her situation and her children. And so her happy ever after has arrived. A woman must be independent enough to identify herself as an individual apart from the one she loves too much. And yet make him know that her life would be more meaningful when he’s on it.

• Make him realize that you “complete him”. Only YOU.

This is the last advice that I have, and this is also the easiest. Being a woman who love too much, this will come naturally for you. I assume that when you say that you love a guy too much means that your favorite song is Cater to you by the Destiny’s Child eh? If you don’t know it then this is part of the lyrics: “Let Me Help You

Take Off Your Shoes

Untie Your Shoestrings

Take Off Your Cufflinks

What You Want To Eat Boo?

Let Me Feed You

Let Me Run Your Bathwater

Whatever You Desire, I’ll Aspire

Sing You A Song

Turn The Game On

I’ll Brush Your Hair

Help Put Your Do Rag On

Want A Foot Rub?

You Want A Manicure?

Baby I’m Yours I Want To Cater To You Boy”

Men are not really complex individuals. They work hard for their ego, their family, their future. At the end of the day they get tired and they want someone to take care of them. You are the missing piece in their hectic puzzle called life. They may achieve a lot of things, and you will be the “wind beneath their wings.” Who wouldn’t want a relationship like the Obamas or the Jolie-Pitts? Being a woman who love too much isn’t really a bad thing as long as you keep your obsessive nature in the right place and time. In a modern world where women rule a country, many men tend to feel intimidated by strong, powerful characteristics and a strong feeling towards them can do more harm than good. Just follow the steps that has worked for me and my friends, and I assure you that you will be capturing the heart that captured yours and he will love you forever.

With the ongoing popularity of online dating, and studies reporting that over 40 million Americans participate in online dating, one must ask why two out of three men who join online dating sites quit, claiming to be unsuccessful, what are these men doing wrong??

After hours of research, interviews and observations, Sam Stone the author of “Online Dating Secret Revealed!” offers some potential root causes for these failures.

What are men doing wrong?

1. Not knowing what they are looking for.

Mistake men make:

The first most common mistake that men make is going online without a clear understanding of what they are looking for. The “what I’m looking for” section in a typical male profile on most dating sites includes little detail and is compiled of generic terms and characteristics. Most men don’t even bother to define the height range of the woman they are looking for! Not surprisingly, they all say they are looking for someone slender or athletic.

Woman’s Response:

The response such a generic profile gets is disappointing at best. In a subconscious way women interpret this type of profile as of a man who is weak and doesn’t know what he’s looking for. Women see this man as someone who is looking for attention from a woman, any woman. Most women rarely respond to such a profile. What woman wants to be “any woman”?

How to avoid pitfall:

Before going online to look for a date, a man must make sure that he knows what he is looking for. The best way to figure that out is to write down (actually write it, not just think about it) a list of the top qualities he is looking for in a woman. One should try to cover as many areas as possible. The next step is to narrow these qualities down to the top 15 and then to the top 5 qualities that are most important to him and list them on his profile. Doing so, the man will not only convey to a woman that he knows exactly what he wants but this also helps him to have an understanding of what is important to him in a woman which will save him time by focusing on those women who have those qualities and not just random women he meets online.

2. Not knowing what they have to offer. Aside from not knowing what they are looking for, the second most common mistake guys make is going online without knowing what they have to offer.

Mistake men make: Most men go online without putting much thought into what their attraction strategy will be and how they are going to present themselves. Many people (men and women) never stopped to take inventory of their lives. Most people live life on a day to day basis and never think of what the tapestry of their lives is made of. One must ask himself if he has ever taken the time to think about all the things he likes, all the things he is good at, all the things he has to offer to other people?

Woman’s Response:

Women who actually bother to read this type of generic information catalog it as just “some guy” among many. This type of profile, without a clear attraction strategy, will not get many responses from women of quality, just like most Spam doesn’t get many responses from people who receive it.

How to Avoid Pitfall:

Most people have at least some interesting things in their lives. A man interested in succeeding online must take the time to think about those things and use them to create an attraction strategy. For example, if a man is looking for very intellectual women that like to read, he must put a greater emphasis on that side of his personality in his profile. In this case, talking about wild parties might not result in attracting the type of women he is looking for.

3. How to approach a woman online?

Mistake men make:

Many guys make the mistake of using a generic feature called “wink” (also called “icebreaker”, “flirt” and other names in different sites). Winks are usually free, some sites allow a quick pre-scripted text message that was created by the site owners, and can be sent to the girl the man is interested in. A generic “wink” can be compared to a pickup line that one found on the wall of a bar which may be seen and used by every individual in the bar.

Woman’s Response

The woman receiving it has most likely already seen that line, heard it from a bunch of drunken guys who tried it on her earlier, and will consider the approach to be extremely pathetic. Unless it comes from a very attractive guy, or the first guy who ever approached her, there is little chance of getting the time of day from her and this approach will actually lower the value of the sender in her eyes.

In most cases attractive/intelligent/talented women get hundreds of winks a week, why would they even bother to look at a generic message?!

How to Avoid Pitfall:

How does one stand out then? The best way get a woman’s attention is by using emails. If one already invested all this time going online He should probably cough up the $30 or so it costs to register to the site and send an email. It takes some more work, but this might actually get a response…

4. What to say?

Mistake men make:

Most guys don’t know what to say in the first Email. The emails women get usually range from one liners saying “hey babe, what’s up” to a 5 page emails describing every single thing the guy ever did in his life from birth to this moment. Both methods and what’s in between them are bound to fail.

Woman’s Response:

My study shows that the top three things that women are looking for are: § To have a good experience § To have fun § To meet a guy who will attract them emotionally.

Emails that include little or none of this will most likely be ignored.

How to Avoid Pitfall:

The email should convey the personality traits that women are attracted to: fun, humor, confidence, and social status. This doesn’t mean that you need to tell a knock knock joke about your BMW… It’s very simple actually, all a guy needs to do is be playful, and show that he is confident enough to talk to a woman.

E.g. sometimes girls will email the same first reply twice just because they clicked the send button twice by mistake. A good response to that would be to accuse them of being in love with you and to say that they will become your stalkers… if done in a funny way they will know that you are kidding and teasing them, and they will love it and write back to deny this…

5. How much is enough?

Mistake men make:

Once a guy finds a girl he likes, and she actually responds to his emails and starts an email exchange, it’s very tempting to just keep the relationship online. However, it is highly discouraged to get into a lengthy email exchange.

Woman’s Response

My study found that the more a guy emails the girl, the less likely he is to ever meet her. Another downside of a long email relationship is that the more the two email each other, the more of a “fantasy” about each other’s personality is created in the couples’ minds. These fantasies are not based on real behavior but on how the mind fills the gaps between what they know about each other through their emails and profiles and the real person. Once they meet, they will both discover that in most cases this fantasy is not real and they will both be disappointed.

How to Avoid Pitfall:

My study found that in order to successfully move on to the next step, an email exchange should be no more then 3-5 emails long before the guy asks the girl out on a date. In these emails, a guy should keep on trying to get to know her, and learn more about her while providing fun and interesting conversation to keep her coming back for more.

6. Assuming online attraction offline.

Mistake men make:

This is a trap many men fall into. A common reason for failure that came up again and again in the study was : “Our email exchange went so well, she kept complimenting me and saying how much she wants to meet me, but when we met it was as if we were strangers” This problem comes from assuming that online attraction automatically continues in the real world.

Woman’s Response

When communicating online, the girl has very little to go by, so her brain (this goes for guys too) creates a fantasy guy that has all the qualities the man is displaying in the email. Of course, in many cases this “fantasy man” has nothing to do with the man she is communicating with.

When they meet, both of their fantasy worlds are shaken up and the woman feels as if she’s meeting a stranger for the first time (suddenly the guy doesn’t look or act anything at all like her fantasy guy). She suddenly has to deal with the transition from the safety of hiding behind a computer to actually standing face to face with a real live person.

How to Avoid Pitfall:

The way to overcome this is to re-generate attraction! How do you do that? It’s simple; the guy has to recreate what he did in his emails. Tell funny stories, tease her, and demonstrate the attractive qualities we mentioned earlier. This should get her back to remembering all the good feelings she had when the guy was emailing her and will get her attraction back up again.

7. Not leading the online or offline conversation.

Mistake men make:

Many girls who date online expect their first date to be like an interview (in our study we even had a TV reporter that found it extremely hard to break from this structure…). The “Interview” style date is probably the worst way to have a first date! First of all, it’s boring! A date shouldn’t be a job interview; it should be fun, for both people. Second, it shows lack of confidence. Think about it, who does most of the talking when the guy “interviews” and asks the questions? She does! This “lets the guy off the hook” of being interesting, exciting and funny and doesn’t really convey anything about his personality aside from being a good listener, but that’s not one of the top qualities that is going to get the guy a new girlfriend. Third, an “interview” style date forces the girl to lead the conversation and most women are very uncomfortable in this situation; they don’t feel comfortable leading the conversation.

Woman’s Response

Many of the women that I interviewed indicated that their train of thought was: “I’m hot, I don’t need to prove myself, this guy is just sitting there and nodding, probably just thinking about how I look naked” and similar comments to this.

How to Avoid Pitfall:

If the guy doesn’t take control of the conversation from the start, he will most likely not get a second date. Taking control of the date means the guy must tell stories: funny ones, exciting ones, interesting or mysterious stories, he must keep the conversation going. A guy should spend the first 10 minutes or so of the date talking most of the time.

8. Falling in love before the first date.

Mistake men make:

Guys have a tendency to “fall in love” with a girl they meet online and feel that they need to “prove their love to her” even before they meet.

A guy shouldn’t go overboard in doing thing for a woman at first. A guy should not show any supplicative behavior that shows that he needs to do anything besides being himself in order to get her to like him.

In some cases our study found guys who set up elaborate websites for women, or created online play lists for them with music they might like. It’s very sweet, very romantic, but it’s something that you do for someone that you know.

Woman’s Response

Any time a guy goes out of the way to please a woman in order to get her to like him, he is lowering his value in her eyes. Would he go out of his way like this for a total stranger? No, and that’s what she is right now… What the guy is communicating to the girl is “my personality alone is not worthy of your attention, so I will do things for you so that I become worthy”.

How to Avoid Pitfall:

Once the couple has been dating for a while, the guy can go ahead and do nice things for her, but for now, he hasn’t even met her in person yet. For all he knows, she might be a 13 year old boy messing with him online. A man needs to qualify her as to why she is worthy of his time, not qualify himself as to why he is worthy of her time!

9. Grow up!

Mistake men make:

The worst mistake a man could make in online dating (and in life as well) is not willing to act like a grown man. Many men get stuck in “Baby mode” – they aren’t willing to grow up and realize that a grown man’s’ personality and behavior are not affected by a woman’s reaction to them, or the results of the interaction with women.

A grown man will realize that not all women will be attracted to him, love him or that it takes work and time to get good at dating women. Grown men don’t get offended when a woman doesn’t write back to them, and as a result send her a nasty email talking about what a terrible person she is.

Woman’s Response

Throughout our study I’ve seen emails from guys going through a whole range of negative emotions to why the girl didn’t answer them while all that happened was that the girl was out of town and didn’t mention it to them (in one case, the guy went from being cute to being self conscious “are you not answering me because of my looks?” and eventually he started using abusive language and ranting about her low sense of morality. Obviously, this type of behavior did not generate a positive response…

How to Avoid Pitfall:

Guys – Grow up! If a girl doesn’t respond, or doesn’t react like you want her to, follow up, try a different approach, and if that doesn’t work, then move on… there are plenty of girls out there. (If you look at a typical large city there are about 60,000 eligible women in your age range, which means that even if you want to meet only 10% of them it will take 16.4 YEARS of going out on a first date every night to meet them all…).

10. This is the worst mistake of all!

The worst mistake a man could make in online dating and in life is not getting the help he knows he needs! Guys don’t like to look weak and ask for help, but think about this: Two out of three men make enough mistakes online for them to think that “online dating doesn’t work”. Obviously, it does work for the other 1/3 of the people that are on it so its not “online dating” that does not work, it’s something they are doing online that isn’t working for them. Someone once said, “if you keep on doing the same thing, you’ll always get the same results”, this is why it’s important to get help and try to fix some of these mistakes you are making, and not feel helpless when you are not getting any responses to your emails and profiles.

Just after college I spent two long, brutal years slaving away in the pits of the Los Angeles entertainment industry. I discovered a lot in my time in LA. I discovered that I wasn’t cut out for 100 hour work weeks. I discovered that too much sunshine is as bad as not enough (and that while rain doesn’t cause cancer, it does cause big, messy accidents on the I-10.) I discovered that In ‘n Out Burger makes the best darned cheeseburger in the whole wide world (and that “Animal Style” is both messy and delicious.)

But the most important thing I discovered was my “Theory Of Learned Incompetence.”

You see, my last year in LA I had this boss named “Bob.” (Name changed because “Bob” was a pretty cool guy and I’d rather not make him feel bad.)

“Bob” was a smooth talking gay, Jewish guy from New York City who spent the big bulk of his work day surfing the net for porn. Not to say that “Bob” wasn’t good at his job. He could schmooze and deal like nobody’s business and taught me tons about how to deal with people.

The problem was that “Bob” couldn’t do anything *but* schmooze and deal.

* Answering the phone? Uh uh.

* Sending a fax? Better if he didn’t try. Toner is expensive, after all.

* Replying to an email, licking a stamp or figuring out how to set up the voicemail on his brand spanking new cell phone (he lost the last one on a trip to France)? Yea, uhh. Not gonna happen.

Now, what struck me about “Bob’s” utter, kindergarten-like incompetence was that at some point-on the way to landing his nice, cushy quarter-million a year gig-he *must* have learned how to do this stuff.

You see, in the entertainment industry, there’s a pretty strict ladder to climb. You start off way at the bottom as somebody’s assistant. You go through heck for a couple years fetching coffee, doing mindless admin stuff and trying to prove that you have “initiative.” And then if you’re lucky and tenacious you move your way up, get your own assistant, spend all your time chatting on the phone and surfing porn-and so the circle of Hollywood life continues.

So once upon a time, “Bob” knew how to use a copy machine.

Once upon a time, “Bob” knew how to put somebody on hold, get another call and then get back to the first person without accidentally calling the fire department.

Once upon a time, “Bob” was competent.

Until he learned that if he wanted to get ahead, he’d have to *learn* to become *incompetent.*

You see, in Hollywood (and, from what I’ve seen, in all of corporate America) if you know how to do something well, you’ll inevitably be roped into doing it again and again and again. In fact, if you’re too good at something (fixing the copy machine. Getting coffee. Preventing wars.) you tend to get tied down to that one thing while all the less competent folks around you get promoted.

So what do ambitious folks like “Bob” do?

Consciously or not, they *learn to be incompetent.*

They pour all their energy into developing a few core, useful, sellable skills and let everything else slough off and atrophy until the folks above them have absolutely no choice but to promote them.

“Bob keeps messing up the copy machine and we’re afraid if he keeps getting close to it it might explode” they say. “We’d better just get him out of there and give him that corner office.

Nice Theory, But What Does This Have To Do With Marketing?

Just this. In my day to day life I run into a lot of new entrepreneurs and business owners-refugees from the corporate lifestyle-who haven’t quite woken up to the fact that while the theory of learned incompetence will help you get ahead in corporate America, it’s absolutely deadly when you’re out on your own.

When you’re stuck in the “ivory tower” you can forget how to do all sorts of stuff, knowing full well that the infrastructure of that big, fat company will take care of you.

But out in the real world, if you decide to forget how to work the copy machine, the copies don’t get made.

If you decide to forget how to answer the phone, there’s no one there to save you.

And if you decide to become incompetent at marketing…well, pretty soon you don’t have any sort of business at all.

We’ve all had our share of what is known as “The Holiday Blues”. At this time of year I know that I will overindulge and gain a few pounds that will take more than a few weeks to take off. If I can. There are relatives to invite and gifts for which to rack our brains. The Holiday Spirit is sometimes elusive.

One person I feel sorry for is the Christmas tree entrepreneur. This guy has to guess how many trees he will need, pay for them up front, hope that the lot he rented is visible to civilization, and pray that his family will help sell the trees. In the back of his mind is the knowledge that every day more and more families will switch over to the already lit department store artificial trees. The snow that the kids are praying for won’t do him a bit of good. On top of this is the unspoken fact that come Christmas morning, any unsold trees will be worth nothing.

A few years ago, when we were still buying naturally grown Christmas trees for our home, the task fell on my wife, Marianne, to go out and find a nice tree. Previously, I had been the one who magically decided on the variety, shape, and height of that all important reminder of Christmas. Some phrases that apply to my wife while shopping are: ‘She knows what she wants’, “Decidedly particular’, and ‘No crooked tree for our house’.

The grumpy old man at the Christmas tree lot must have shaken out a dozen trees, turning them in measured circles while Madam shook her head, suggesting implacably, “How about that one over there?”

Finally, a perfect specimen nudged out of a fresh mountain of trees pleased the lady very much and the sour owner stamped off to cut the trunk six inches shorter.

Now, the previous day, Marianne’s brother had heard that Marianne would be out shopping for a tree, so he asked her to pick out a nice one for his family, since he had no time and had to work. So as soon as Mr. Grump left with his saw, Marianne started looking around for her brother’s tree. Suddenly, the sour puss owner stood in the aisle with fire in his eyes. He blurted out, “Lady, it’s too late to change your mind, I’ve already cut off your bottom!”

Taken aback, Marianne quickly replied, “You don’t understand, I’m looking for my brother.”

With a scowl, he retorted, “Well, you won’t find him behind that tree!”

Logic tells you that it should be obvious to any woman when a man has left her for good but for some reason reality is different. Some men have the capacity to leave a woman for good but to still make her think that they have not left. Is there an ex-boyfriend in your life who makes you believe that he is still in your life even though you cannot quite pin him down? It seems that he is in your life without actually being part of your life. What are the signs that he is gone for good?

i. You are making ALL the effort to hook up with him. A man who has left you for good will talk to you when you call him up or entertain you when you visit BUT he will never ever call you back or visit you. He will be polite when you talk and he may even promise to call you soon or to meet with you sometime in the future but you will wait forever for that promised call as he has simply moved on. He confuses you because he is nice and speaks warmly but his deeds (or lack of them) tell you that he is actually gone for good from you. He has disconnected his communication from you.

ii. He isn’t really interested in you and your life. A man who is gone for good is simply not interested in you and what you are up to. He may make polite conversation when you meet or when you make the effort but you will notice that he has no real interest in you. He doesn’t ask questions about your life and if you do talk about yourself then you quickly realize that he isn’t really listening to you. The result of talking to him about you is similar to you talking to a brick wall as there is simply no interest or engagement from him. He has emotionally disconnected from you.

iii. He has zero involvement in your life. A man who is gone for good will have very little interaction with you. His life will be totally separate from you… even when you are still in the same social circle. His life and what he is involved in will be a mystery to you unless you are one of those stalker types as he keeps himself and his life separate from you. He has socially disconnected from you.

A man who is gone for good has totally disconnected from you emotionally, socially and in his communication. If you see this disconnect then realize that he is actually gone for good!

There are a few things you notice these days when you watch a movie based on sports. The first is that, unlike the old days, there are organizations in Hollywood who understand sports and help to make sure that the movie is realistic. Remember the Titans, Radio, and Hoosiers, are three examples where clearly, the action, the uniforms, and the athletes and coaches all are very authentic- the parents are usually over the top though- which is not unlike reality either! In all of these stories, there is the coach, or more frequently, the new coach, who finds himself in a meeting with either the parents, or the fans down at the firehouse or Mom’s Restaurant, or some archetypal location where the “Good Ole Boys” meet to chew the fat and second- guess the coach.

Generally, coaches who take over a program that has not experienced success in the past, or where the program is just beginning will have a much easier time than the coach who takes over a program with a winning tradition and lots of ex-players living and working in the community. In many places in America, what goes on with the local high school team is far more important to people than what is happening in the Professional Leagues or the Division One Colleges. A former Athletic Director at my school in upstate Pennsylvania in the middle of the anthracite coal country was scheduled to officiate the annual rivalry between two highly respected teams. An illness in the family caused him to have to cancel on a Wednesday before the Friday night game. Several “friends” called and told the athletic director that this was definitely going to affect the betting line in all of the bars for the big game- they begged him to reconsider because he “understood” their style of play and would not ruin the game with too many penalties.

For a coach who is new to a successful program, we strongly suggest that you invest $5 and purchase The Prince by Machiavelli. Written in the 16th Century and pretty much mandatory reading by all statesmen, politicians, generals, captains of industry, school superintendents, and yes, coaches, it is 110 pages long and filled with scenarios that will make you realize that to be an effective leader, one must have more than rugged good looks and a loud voice. Consider the following 6 cautionary and instructive strategies from the master himself. We will provide the quotation, then we will give the lesson in a contemporary setting.

1. On Being Proactive

“And so it is with state (TEAM) affairs. For the distempers of a state (TEAM) being discovered while yet inchoate, which can only be done by a sagacious ruler(COACH), may easily be dealt with; but when, from not being observed, they are suffered to grow until they are obvious to everyone, there is no longer any remedy. The Romans, therefore, foreseeing evils while they were yet far off, always provided against them, and never suffered them to take their course for the sake of avoiding war; since they knew that war is not so to be avoided, but is only postponed to the advantage of the other side.”

So, Mr. New Coach, you perceive one day that an assistant coach who also applied for your job is moving a little slow when you speak, or not appearing to be as “on board” with the program as some others seem to be- nothing big mind you- just a hunch you have. Perhaps it has gotten back to you that this staff member has been “bad mouthing the program behind the scenes. Take another look at the Master’s advice… Does he say to sit down with that person and logically discuss the matter with him or her? Does he say to have patience and try to “work” with that person? No, he advises that, while the problem is yet barely noticeable, or “yet far off”, you take the appropriate steps to, as the Romans did, not let them “take their course” to avoid conflict- because conflict cannot be avoided, only put off, and the delay works to the advantage of the other side. Dismiss the individual quickly and with little fanfare. If you wait till later, your boss might treat it like a false equivalency and tell “both of you to sit down and work this out like gentlemen.” You are the Head Coach. Make the change and move on! If your doctor found a tumor in the early stages would you tell him to keep it in for a while?!

2. Being a Change Agent

“And let it be noted that there is no more delicate matter to take in hand, nor more dangerous to conduct, nor more doubtful in its success, than to set up as a leader in the introduction of changes. For he who innovates will have for his enemies all those who are well off under the existing order of things, and only lukewarm supporters in those who might be better off under the new.”

Wow- and you thought that the people in town would just love you because you are so sincere and such a nice guy. HMMM, now what? You need some friends- important ones at that. The world’s hardest job is to introduce changes- remember Gene Hackman in Hoosiers- What, you are changing the defense? Or in football… Don’t you know how we play it here? Our tradition is “smash-mouth,” grind-it-out, football, not the “Chuck and Duck with all those scared-to-be hit wide receivers running around!

When Dick Vermeil became coach of the Philadelphia Eagles, he immediately asked “Concrete Charlie” Chuck Bednarik- a “God” in the Philadelphia Pantheon of sport heroes- to be an on the field coach of the team with no precise job description. Coach Vermeil simply said, “He’s on the staff, because I want him right next to me when the street fight starts!”There’s never a real “street fight” in an NFL Game- OK maybe in the Philadelphia grandstand- but that kind of talk- also employed by Buddy Ryan when he coached the Eagles works very effectively with Philadelphia Fans- and Dick, as well as Buddy, knew it. Know your community. Coach Vermeil was a student of small town public relations. He conducted several tryouts of local wannabees in his first year which led to the addition of the hustling, non-college football player “Philly Boy” Vince Papale to the roster. (See the recent movie with Mark Wahlberg- “Invincible”) Later in the book, Machiavelli speaks to the value of a “few signal examples” by a leader to get the message across. To Philadelphia fans, golden- haired California born and raised Dick Vermeil is a native son- no other coach of any other sport to this day, has their picture on a billboard in Philadelphia. Dick still does- 25+ years after he retired from the Eagles. You might not be a Dick Vermeil, but at your awards banquet, can you have an old retired famous coach or player speak? Can you name an annual award after a famous person in the program from yesteryear? If the sport is basketball, can you name the annual Xmas Tournament after the famous coach that everyone still talks about in hallowed terms? How about having the old coach talk to the troops before the big game like Dick Vermeil did with Chuck Bednarik? You neglect this at your peril, Mr. New Coach.

3. Should you be Loved or Feared?

“And here comes in the question whether it is better to be loved rather than feared, or feared rather than loved. It might perhaps be answered that we should wish to be both; but since love and fear can hardly exist together, if we must choose between them, it is far safer to be feared rather than loved…Moreover, men are less careful how they offend him who makes himself loved than him who makes himself feared. For love is held by the tie of obligation, which, because men are a sorry breed, is broken on every whisper of private interest; but fear is bound by the apprehension of punishment which never relaxes its grasp.”

Should you be loved, or feared? Well, don’t go too heavy on the “feared” till you win some games, but, as Machiavelli asserts, it would be nice to be both, but if you can only be one of the two, “feared” might be the better choice. If you look closely at the quotation, you can see a part of the issue that is seldom talked about but may be equally important to the apparent main issue of whether to be feared or loved. Here is the problem… Even your faithful assistants will be less careful about deadlines, being on time for meetings, or generally pleasing you for example. Why? Because if they miss a deadline, you won’t be upset. Ever hear someone say, “If I’m late my wife will kill me”? Nobody really gets killed, but everyone fears the grief that comes from not following an assertive person’s expectations. However, you will always give another chance. You will always say, “Ahh, don’t worry about it- just get it to me as soon as you can.” So, those who work for you and even like you will never be worried. When the day comes that you lose it because people are late for a meeting, they will be puzzled at this volcanic reaction of yours.

Former NFL Coach Bum Phillips used to tell a story from when he was on the staff of Bear Bryant at the University of Alabama. The entire staff would be seated at the table well in advance of the stated time for the meeting to start. The coaches would all be chatting about a variety of things. Then Coach Bryant would walk in. Everybody sat up straight and stopped talking. Coach Bryant would smoke an entire cigarette in dead silence with nobody breathing a word till he finally said something. We know, you don’t want to be like that- most people do not. However, even your loyal supporters will have a higher sense of urgency about pleasing you if you aren’t such a pushover. Think about it. Practice your mean face in the mirror! Occasionally, show a few “signal examples” about how you could be if you really did get upset. People will be more attentive. General Norman Swartzkopf, of Desert Storm Fame, remarked once about how surprised he was that people were laughing so much at his jokes after he had 3 stars on his collar. The General did not hesitate, we are told, to let people know what he was capable of every now and then. That will keep them laughing when you tell a joke Coach!

4. Be Open to Advice and Suggestions- on Your Schedule

“For there is no way to guard against flattery but by letting it be seen that you take no offense in hearing the truth: but when everyone is free to tell you the truth, respect falls short. Wherefore a prudent Prince (COACH) should follow a middle course, by choosing certain discreet individuals from among his subjects, and allowing them alone free leave to speak their minds on any matter on which he asks their opinion, and on none other. But he ought to ask their opinion on everything, and after hearing what they have to say, should reflect and judge for himself. And with these counselors collectively, and with each of them separately, his bearing should be such, that each and all of them may know that the more freely they declare their thoughts the better they will be liked…A Prince, therefore ought to take counsel, but at such times and seasons only as he himself pleases, and not when it pleases others…he should discourage everyone from obtruding advice on matters which it is not sought…”

Some leaders, such as George W. Bush, we have read, did not like to be told what was really going on, choosing instead to find their own reality more satisfying. As a leader you should make it clear to subordinates that you expect them to tell you the truth when it comes to reporting what is really going on. However, the often made mistake is when the leader states that “His or her door is always open” so as to hear anything about anything at any time. Notice what Machiavelli urges of you head coaches… 1) You must guard against flattery, 2) You wish to be told the truth. However, NOT everyone’s opinion is being sought at all times, and the only opinions being sought are the ones the boss asks about. Thus, the door is NOT ALWAYS OPEN! Its open as to opinions when you ask a selected person his or her opinion and at no other time. So always be ready to hear the truth, but not when it pleases someone else to tell it to you, only when you ask a person for it. This is not a democracy! Also, bear in mind that, unless otherwise stated by the head coach, when we “go around the table asking opinions” we are not taking a vote. As Lincoln was supposed to have stated to his cabinet one day, “Thank you all for your opinions, I will now make a decision on the matter.” Again we state- It’s not a democracy- you are the boss.

We wish you luck coach- did you schedule your pre-season parent meeting yet? How about your Wednesday night mandatory study time in the library so the message gets out that you are concerned with scholarly things first!? Do you know any of the Greats from yesteryear yet? Go visit them- today! Ask their opinion on good ways to motivate players. Be interested in their “war stories.” Let the boosters do the fund raisers, not you. Finally, remember that its not just about X’s and O’s- all of us who have coached are undefeated- on the blackboard!

5. Don’t Be Indecisive

“A Prince (Coach) is despised when he is seen to be fickle, frivolous, effeminate, pusillanimous, or irresolute, against which defects he ought therefore to guard, striving so as to bear himself that greatness, courage, wisdom, and strength may appear in all his actions.”

So, when a decision is reached, there can be no agonizing about whether it was the right decision, but everyone must work hard to make that decision be the right one. Nothing is worse than appearing indecisive, and not to decide is to decide. Note that Machiavelli states that a wishy-washy individual will not just be disliked, but DESPISED.

6. Practice Effective Public Relation Strategies

He (The Coach) ought, moreover, at suitable seasons of the year to entertain the people with festivals and shows. And because all cities (schools too) are divided into guilds and companies (church groups, youth organizations, school co-curricular activities) he should show attention to these societies, and sometimes take part in their meetings; offering an example of courtesy and munificence, but always maintaining the dignity of his station, which must under no circumstance be compromised.

Coach… stated simply, do you attend the games of other teams, attend the Spring Concert, attend the school dramatic production, walk into the chess club one day and play somebody, volunteer (along with your players) at the Special Olympics, show up at other athletic events for kids in the community, and generally allow yourself to be seen in a lot of other things besides your sport? If you don’t, you won’t have a lot of friends storming the castle of the board room on the night they are discussing whether to renew your contract! Sinclair Lewis, one of the greatest American fiction writers of the early 20th Century wrote a book in the mid 1930’s that would be very timely in today’s Zeitgeist entitled, It Can’t Happen Here. It suggests the possibility of revolution and a totalitarian takeover of the United States. One of the characters is a candidate for President with a very successful election strategy. He would show up at the bottom of coal mines, atop high building being constructed and in National Parks in remote places on the thinking that people would be impressed and say, If he’s coming here, this guy must be going everywhere…” Take some time out to show up in places that people would not expect you to show up- the custodian’s office to leave him a bottle of wine at Christmas for example, or in the back where the cafeteria ladies work to give them a corsage around Easter time. Another political expert also added, “Find the parade and get in front of it!” You can figure that one out for yourself. Don’t lock yourself in your office drawing X’s and O’s on a piece of paper!

This is the third article in the Lotto Lies series. This article should dispel the myth that the lottery is a fair game. There are many Winning Lottery Strategies that will take the wind out of the sails of any fair game proponent. So, read on to see a simple example of a strategy to improve your odds of winning the lotto in the next drawing.

Lotto Lie #3 – The Lottery is a fair game. The odds of winning the lotto are the same for everybody.

It’s Just Not Fair

Any state lottery or lottery official has no choice but to proclaim that their lottery is a fair game. Can you just imagine the up roar that would occur if they didn’t take this position?

The Tribune reported today that the Director of the State Lottery, Unfair D. Rawing was quoted as saying that the State Lottery was not a fair game.

Politicians would be coming out of the woodwork condemning such an irresponsible statement and promising that they would call for an immediate legislative investigation into the operation of the State Lottery Board. There wouldn’t be a safe microphone or camera left within the state.

Heads would role. The Governor would ask for the resignation of the Director of the State Lottery. He would call a Press Conference to restore calm and assure the people of his fine state that the State Lottery was fiscally sound, that all winners would be paid in full and that, above all, their State Lottery was fair.

Of course, I’m having a lot of fun with this. I’m sure that most of you could picture the hilarity of such a three ring circus. After all, taking politicians seriously is only possible by those that lack a sense of humor.

But, Mr. Rawing was right! It’s not fair. It never was, is not now nor will it ever be fair. To prove my point, let me recall one of my favorite anecdotes.

A Tall Glass of Water

A few years back, I was engaged in a discussion about this very subject with this tall glass of water from Texas; complete with cowboy boots, cowboy hat and a belt buckle that would only look small from a hundred yards away. Now, Percival was a nice enough guy but skeptical about my claim that he could improve his odds of winning the Texas 6-54 lottery.

So, I asked him a simple question. “Perc, can you pick one of the 54 numbers that will not be picked in tonight’s drawing?” I will never forget his response. “Hell, that’s easy. I’ve been pickin 6 wrong numbers every drawin for years.”

Some of you probably already figured out what just happened. You see, while everyone else in the State of Texas was playing a 6 out of 54 drawing that night, Perc was playing a 6 out of 53 drawing. Now, Perc didn’t do anything wrong or break any laws and yet, that drawing wasn’t fair to everybody in Texas. Perc had a decided advantage.

A Big Deal In Texas

Now, for those of you who are thinking that this is no big deal and not worth your time, you need to pay close attention. You see, what Perc did that night was a big deal. Here’s how big.

The odds of winning the Texas 6-54 lottery are 1 in 25,827,165. But, the odds of winning the Perc 6-53 lottery are 1 in 22,957,480. Wow! The simple act of removing just one number from play removed 2,869,685 losing wagers from play. That’s nearly 3 million wagers! That’s 3 million losing wagers that Perc didn’t spend any money on. Perc only spent money on wagers that had a chance of winning the Lottery Jackpot.

You Got Me

I can already hear many of you skeptics out there, sputtering and stammering, trying to get the words out. “But, but, but… That’s not tr-tr-true if the number he removes is one of the winning numbers!”

You got me. You caught me. But, before I completely surrender, let’s take a closer look at this objection. In this lottery, there are 48 numbers that won’t be drawn. All you have to do is correctly pick 1 number out of this group of 48 numbers. Of course, you will pick one of the 6 winning numbers once in a while but, over the next year, you will be successful well over 90% of the time! So, you have to decide whether improving your odds of winning the lottery 48 weeks out of the year is good enough for you. When you look at it this way, I wonder which decision you will make.

If everyone followed this simple approach to the game, the state lottery officials will wake up Sunday morning scratching their heads. They won’t be able to explain the sudden spike in the payout for that drawing.

Fair Game

So, is the lottery a fair game? It would be if every player did nothing to improve their chances of winning the lottery. Perhaps that will happen one day, but I’m not holding my breath.

There are many more strategies that can help you improve your chances of winning the lotto. However, to take advantage of them you will need a computer and a quality lottery software program that provides what you need when you ask for it; like a genie. Well, the best genie isn’t in a bottle; she’s on your computer. Her name is LONA; Your LOttery Number Advisor.

New Mexico, the state where I was born and raised for most of my younger years, was settled early with Native Americans, Spanish and Mexican people, establishing some of the oldest communities in the western United States. It was also a state that was known for it’s wilder ways, raw and untamed. The history books are found with tales of New Mexico outlaws like Billy the Kid, Sheriff Pat Garrett and large land and cattle barons like John Chisum.

This era was really an unsettling time, full of crime and deceit. Oliver Lee was another large land owner that had a questionable reputation and later in life became a state politician. Mr. Lee came from Texas into New Mexico to set up his ranch operation. There were three headquarters. The first was located in Dog Canyon near Alamogordo, another close to Orogrande called Wildy Well. The final headquarters was located in the Sacramento Mountains called the Circle Cross Ranch.

After I finished school, I moved to the Sacramento Mountains. Occasionally, I worked at the Circle Cross with my friend and ranch foreman, Drew. And now, separate from the wilder, untamed days, I’ll share an incident that happened on the Circle Cross Ranch a little more than a century later.

The U.S. Military boasted a huge presence in the area. Fort Bliss and McGregor Range consumed land that ran from El Paso to the foot of the Sacramento Mountains. McGregor Range and the Circle Cross shared a common fence, and the ranch also had access to government leased pastures for their cattle.

It was approaching hunting season, the cooler mountain air brought the hunters up to elevation and the big game down. With the military bases close, there was never a shortage of soldiers that wanted a chance to hunt in the mountains of the Circle Cross… but, there were rules. They could hunt on the lease but it could only be accessed by foot, no vehicles allowed.

The day before the season opened, Drew and I were riding fence and checking the livestock when we noticed some motorcycles were pushed under the fence on the lease. Now, our hunt was on. Unfortunately, it was getting late and we lost the trespasser’s trail. We turned our horses and headed back to the ranch to try again tomorrow.

After a good night’s sleep and rested mounts, we saddled up and rode out to the locked gate at Grapevine Canyon. There they were, a large camp of hunters ready for the opening day in the morning. We decided to be good neighbors, we hollered “hello” and were invited in. We tied up the horses, grabbed our cups and crossed the fence for a cup of coffee. (Cowboy Rule #6, “don’t leave the corral without your coffee cup. If you get asked to join a camp fire, don’t expect the other guy to furnish the coffee and the cup, cuz he ain’t sharing his!”).

We really enjoyed the visit and they seemed like a good bunch of guys. They had some really nice hunting gear and proud to show it off. We looked at some fine hunting rifles with high powered scopes and a variety of sharp hunting knives, all ready for their big hunt tomorrow. While we were swapping stories another Jeep arrived and backed up the slope facing Grapevine Canyon, parked and joined the camp fire. While adding more stories and showing off their hunting equipment, we saw the Jeep start to roll forward, slowly at first then picking up speed. You should have seen them jump, except me and Drew. There were guys hanging all over that Jeep as it rolled down the hill, across the road and bound for a big wreck down Grapevine Canyon. Fate was on their side, the Jeep found the only stump in that area and hung up.

Well, we didn’t get to see a big wreck, but we did enjoy the camp fire with some great soldiers, taking a little R & R while serving our country. Thanks guys and you too if you have served and protected our freedoms. You are appreciated! And no, we never did find the ones that got away.

To make sure your big game trophy doesn’t get away, gear up with quality hunting equipment worth bragging about. And be sure to set the parking brake and chock the wheels on your hunting rig or it could be the one that got away.

The Indisputable Power of a Woman-written by a man

Why is it that men don’t change after marriage, but women do? In the process of answering this question we will draw one conclusion that will be the elephant in the room: The power of a woman to create the man of her dreams is indisputable.

To answer this profound question, let’s look at the “inner workings” of a woman. When women are single and searching for a man, this “mystery man” is often referred to as “Mr. right”. You could even say that the foremost question on a single woman’s mind (when she’s looking for a man) is “When is Mr. Right going to come along?”

Women enter relationships with an idealistic vision of what her “soul mate” will look, act and treat her like. And why shouldn’t she? From an early age, as a little girl, she reads story tales about a “Night in Shining Armor” rescuing the princess from an Evil villain. Little girls adore the idea of being a princess and even at a young age, many even fantasize about their wedding day!

When women are dating, they use all of their assets to attract a man. They put careful detail into wearing the right sexy outfit, the right perfume, and try their best to keep the atmosphere light, fun and full of excitement. Women do all of this because their plan – their mission, is to find the man who will give them emotional and financial security. (This is a deep-seeded need of all women, not necessarily something they consciously think about.)

During the dating stage of a relationship however, these two needs are secondary.

A woman’s “public” goal during her dating life is to find a guy who is “nice” and “fun”. That’s her public goal. It’s what she says SAYS wants, but that’s not close to her true mission. A smart woman brings excitement into the relationship when dating because she knows that’s what will maintain the chemistry between them.

Then the day comes when the wedding photos arrive and life begins. Life becomes overwhelming. All the fun and excitement in the pre-marriage relationship has now come to a slow, and grinding stop.

With all the chemistry slowly seeping out of the relationship, a woman’s goal is now to “develop” her man into someone who will give her emotional and financial security. It’s her unspoken expectation. (That even women don’t realize they want.)

In married life, every effort her husband makes dismally fails to meet this expectation and instead creates frustration, resentment and mixed feelings. All she ever wanted, she reasons, is for her husband to make her feel safe so she can build her ideal life and family.

But to her surprise, the man she marries STILL craves the fun and excitement from back when they were dating. Unfortunately for both of them, his inability to explain this need and her inability to remember what she used to do during the dating days, combines to create a new tension in the relationship that did not exist before.

In a man’s mind, he fears that if he speaks up and tells his wife that he misses the fun-filled exciting woman she used to be, she’ll become offended and “chew his head off”. After all, she’s exhausted after she fulfills her long list of daily tasks, let alone cater to her husband’s every need.

Her husband now feels like he’s still on her priority list, but somewhere way down towards the bottom. This feeling, this belief, does BAD THINGS for a man’s confidence.

Women who know how to maintain the excitement in their marriage are few and far between….especially after being married for 5+ years. This is obviously not about “giving your husband sex”. Sex is not what he actually wants (whether he knows it or not). What every (or the great majority of men) want is for his beautiful woman to thrill him with the idea that he excites her.

A woman’s power to communicate “you excite me” is all a man needs to become totally dedicated to his woman.

Any woman who dresses and acts in a way that lets her man know he could excite her sexually, touches a man in a place where he believes he can conquer the world for her. Any wish, need or slight desire she might express, will send him on a mission to fulfill her greatest wishes.

But in order to do this, you must put all the resentment aside if you want your husband to be 100% devoted to you. If you’re willing to take this first step, you’ll find these kind of results becoming reality…

…You want your husband to stop talking or looking at the woman who lives next door? Done!

…You want him to go to his boss and get a raise? Not a problem!

…You want more time to yourself away from the house and other responsibilities? You’ve got it!

If you are a woman reading this right now, you might wonder HOW you can discover your husband’s deepest desires.

Despite what most people think, the simple act of marriage does NOT guarantee a man or a woman’s devotion to you. When resentment, selfishness and “what’s in it for me” takes precedence over “to love and honor til death do us part”, ALL BETS ARE OFF.

And here’s what YOU, as a woman, can do about it…

You could learn of your husband’s desires through a hand written note, a phone call, an email or even a long talk face-to-face.

Women “in the know” let it be known to their husband that he will never be “verbally attacked” for any desire he might express.

When you know your husband’s inner-most desires, it’s time for him to learn how to fulfill YOU as a woman!

You could start by describing in a playful way, what would make you really happy….

These are tasks that only your HUSBAND can fulfill. You might describe a day that starts with the breakfast in bed for you and the kids. Then throughout the day, your husband empties the garbage, cleans up after pets, repairs a broken step and then takes the kids down to the pool till noon.

You could excitedly chatter on about how might make plans for the babysitter to arrive at 7:00pm, so the two of you can have an evening of “alone time” at one of your favorite restaurants.

There, your husband would playfully dote over you and gaze at you across the table as if you were the only woman left in the world. By the end of the evening, it would be clear to you that no other woman in the world even COMPARES to you!

If your marriage is suffering and the two of you have lost the close connection you once had, it wouldn’t hurt to try this out for yourself.

Here’s what all this boils down to: When a wife explains how her husband can excite her, there are no words to describe what happens in her man. “Amazing”, “Profound” and “Awesome” all fall short. This is the power that only a woman has to profoundly move her husband toward an almost blind loyalty.

Just the fact that she genuinely wanted to hear his desires (in a playful and intriguing way) sends him in a totally new direction. Toward HER! Not to his friends, not to his golf game, not to his coaching, not to his career success…TO HER!

Now there is one word of caution I must point out: When marriages are failing, there is so much resentment built up in the relationship, that even when you try this technique, you may not see the results you originally hoped for.

You must also clean up “past hurts” with a “sweep away day”. Before you can take action on the technique above, the pain that you both inflicted upon each other at some point in the past must be faced, admitted and forgiven.

This is an act for a separate day. Before you undertake your “sweep away day”, you must know something about men.

Men are emotionally insecure in all but the rarest cases. When it comes to emotions, men know virtually nothing about their own feelings. Because feelings are something most men cannot process, talk about or understand, it’s easy for a man to be full of FEAR.

Most often, a man will disguise his fear under blame, cruel jokes, accusations or broadcasting what’s wrong with you to the world or worse…he could ignore you completely. No matter what the bad behavior, know this: Your man is dreadfully afraid of being rejected by you. If you’ve been treated badly, his fear of rejection is behind it all.

Men have no ability to feel fearless when it comes to the subject of learning how to make you happy. It’s such a risky subject with so many possibilities of rejection that most men decide to never even approach it. They unconsciously think it’s far better to stay on the safe subjects of kids doing homework, new job opportunities or asking why you forgot to buy the peanut butter than face up to the reality of your rejection.

I hope you’re beginning to see that a woman has an indisputable power to create the man of her dreams. A man has virtually no power to create the woman of his dreams. He wouldn’t even know where to begin.

To become one of these rare “women in the know” follow this action plan below:

Step 1: Plan your “sweep away day” and admit how you might have hurt him in the past. Admit it, ask his forgiveness and sweep it away. Next, ask him if he has anything he wants to share with you, but don’t push. Let him forgive and forget for awhile. Get back to the business of living but begin planning how you are going to approach him to discover his inner-most desires and wishes. Be sure to speak to him with a playful sense of excitement in your voice. Just get him to look forward to it.

Step 2: Plan the day you will learn about his desires. When you finish hearing about his desires and you’ve reacted to what he says with playfulness and smiles, ask him if he wants to learn how to turn you on completely. Share this with him when he enthusiastically wants to hear the answer. It’s really important to inject a certain level of playfulness in this – don’t just rattle off your list.

Step 3: Once you know what he wants and he knows what you want, begin to talk about a planned date on the calendar when YOU will get the day that you want and HE will get the night he won’t forget.

But always remember: Be fun, be playful and create exciting expectations during these conversations. You love this man, right? SO SHOW IT! Before your big day, get your husband to once again share his desires through phone calls and emails. You will also be sharing what you talked about as well. Remember: It all leads up to your husband hearing you say what all men dream of… “You excite me”.

Step 4: On the big day, watch him work! See how motivated he is to do all you’ve talked about over the past few weeks. NEVER criticize anything he does. Support his intent, not his execution. Notice all he does and compliment him. Be playful with little kisses, little hugs, and little hints of encouragement all day. On the big day, let yourself go. This is the man who wants to fulfill you. Let him.

The more excited you become throughout your private evening, there is only one conclusion your man can draw from all of this. He got you to feel that way. You’ve arrived! You are one of those unique, unusual and rarest of the rare… a “woman in the know”.

WARNING! I must make ONE exception as to who this technique was designed for:

If you are a woman from a traumatized childhood, where your first ten years on Earth were met by emotional or physical abuse, you will find these instructions almost impossible to understand.

The reason? The pain of those years keeps re-playing inside you and never lets you rest, relax, enjoy, forget and just live. That childhood pain can be so pressing that loving anyone else becomes an insurmountable climb to Mount Everest. If this describes you, don’t attempt this climb yet. You’re probably not ready.

You need to find relief so you can cut that pain out of your life. You can start by reading my free article, Your Invisible Lifestyle: Is it Helping or Hurting Your Marriage? I believe you may find something here that could lead you to the relief you’re seeking so you can finally become a woman with an undisputable power to create the man of your dreams.

IMPORTANT NOTICE:

Since the publication of this article, I have been overwhelmed with strong female opinions against my stance. For this reason, I have attached the following epilogue addressing these concerns…

I reference an excellent quote from one woman who read about the technique described above. This quote perfectly portrays the vast majority of American women who want their men to start meeting their needs.

“A woman would like conversation but is not allowed to interrupt during the football games, or the golf games, or the basketball games, or the baseball games, or the evening news but she should be ecstatic and ready to drop whatever she was doing when he desires to have sex with her – and she should be thrilled he is giving her his time???”

Here’s what all this boils down to: Who will be the first one to put their spouse’s desires ahead of their own? THE HUSBAND? OR THE WIFE?

My question to you is this: Who is more difficult to please? The man or the woman?

Is a man hard to please? Sometimes.

If the man has a very damaged childhood, he is VERY hard to please, but if he is not too damaged, he is easy to please because there is ONE thing he wants to hear again and again… “you excite me”.

But is a woman hard to please?

The vast majority of women are complex to the point that they don’t understand what makes them feel fulfilled and happy. If a woman cannot understand or explain all that is required to please her, how could a man who has no understanding of emotions?

Let’s take a look at a woman’s emotional needs: Now tell me, are these complex?

* She wants a man thinking of her not only when she is NOT around, BUT ALSO…when she IS.

* He should make her breakfast , take her out for coffee when she least expects it, notice that she is tired and take over some of her normal chores, give her surprise back rubs at the kitchen table, bring her home a relevant little gift on a Tuesday and more.

* Women are “into” their children, relatives, friends, pets, anything or anyone that can be cared for. When a man takes an interest in asking about any person she cares about and does it with CONCERN, she lights up like a Christmas tree. When he cares for the people she cares about, it’s a big “turn on”.

* She wants her husband to listen with interest as she talks. She talks not for the purpose of exchanging information, but because she’s wired to pour herself into other people. This takes place when he listens to anything that comes out of her mouth. Each time he listens and says “Oh, no kidding!” or “So what did you do then?”, he’s allowing her to pour herself into him.

* Women want to feel PHYSICALLY safe and they want to know that their man will do all that is required to make her feel protected.

Now on the opposite end of the spectrum, here are the needs of a man:

Now I pose the same question to you again, are these needs complex?

* He wants to hear her say “you excite me!”

At the foundation of this article, is the following rational:

By nature alone, men far more selfish than women when their needs are not being met. Women are less selfish by nature, even if their needs are not met by their husbands.

Now back to the most important question: Who should make the first move to meet their spouse’s needs?

The Woman Has An Undeniable Power Over A man.

1. Because her giving nature

2. Because of her sexual power which a man craves

3. Because of the simplicity of a man’s greatest desire…”you excite me!”

Think of it this way “You can pump an unused pump till your back breaks and still, no water will come out of the ground. But when you pour about three quarts of water down the pump first, in short order, gallons will flow out effortlessly.

It’s no different with your marriage.

Should any woman decide to “prime the male pump”, if done correctly, her man will hear her say “you excite me!” The next morning, she will discover that her man…

* Thinks of her when she is not around and when she is.

* Does things like make her breakfast , take her out for coffee, notice she is tired and take over normal chores, give her surprise back rubs, bring home a relevant little gift and more.

* Takes an interest in asking about people she cares about and does it with concern.

* Smiles at her a lot.

* Listens with interest as she talks and allows her to pour herself into him through conversation. As he listens, he says “Oh, no kidding!” or “So what did you do then?

* Makes sure she is always feeling physically safe and does what he must so she feels protected.

All this would happen without her asking, demanding, nagging or defending. A woman can create the man of her dreams in a week…I’ve seen it happen over and over again with women I work with who are “in the know”.

Why else would the phrase “That poor pathetic slob” only be applied to men, but never to women? It’s because, compared to women, men are so simple and so completely ignorant of relationships.

So what’s the moral of the story? Prime the pump and be rewarded ladies.

Now I have to mention that if you just can’t bring yourself to take the first move and create the man of your dreams…

…or if your husband wants nothing to do with the marriage…

…or if you are a MAN reading this and you WISH your wife would try this technique but you realize there’s not a chance that she would at this point…

…then know that there IS STILL HOPE FOR YOU…

If you haven’t submitted an entry for my Second Chance program already, I would strongly suggest that you do so right now below.

Would you like to know how to get a woman in one day? Would you like some handy hints to help you score someone fast? Is speed your thing and you don’t have the patience for the waiting rigmarole? You have come to the right place! Read on and find out everything you wanted to know about how to be Mr. Speedster!

Handy hint #1: Be yourself. If you try to be Brad Pitt, you will fail miserably. You will be yourself if you think you are a treasure, and only if you think you are one will any girl think the same. There is something very refreshing about a real, honest man. Women find that irresistible. Especially in an ocean of fakes, you will stand out for sure.

Handy hint #2: Smell nice. Bathe and shave and wear cologne. Just don’t empty a bottle over your head. Be subtle about it all. Use a combination so she doesn’t know what you are wearing. This will reel her in. If you go Cool Water by Davidoff, yes, you will smell good, but it is too predictable.

Handy hint #3: Be a gentleman. Good manners always win the day. Open the door for her, pull her chair out, and allow her to precede you, compliment her, you know, all those nice things. Buy her a flower if you are passing a booth. Be kind and nice. If you are planning a relationship with this girl, remember to keep it up! (Keep it up anyways: you will be a much better person for it.)

Handy hint #4: Be bold. Confidence is sexy. Period. So be forthcoming with your plans for the day. Speak with confidence about who you are. Just don’t brag. It puts women off.

Handy hint #5: Give her space. Don’t be too aggressive, in other words. Touch her lightly, but not too much. Show that you respect her and her personal space. This will draw her in. It is an eternal dance, remember, and if you step forward too much, you will step on her toes and she will not be too pleased. Then it will turn into a story of how I lost that woman within five minutes!

Congratulations! You have the formula for how to get a woman in one day. Now, once you get her, what are you going to do with her?! We hope you have it all figured out! Good luck!