How To Screw Your Spouse In a Divorce

Some people are nice, others aren’t so much. I personally handle roughly 100 divorces per year. Most of the people that come to see me are genuinely saddened by the fact that their marriage is ending. Most are confused and hurt. Some are just plain angry.

The angry ones often caught their spouse cheating. Or figured out that their spouse has been planning on leaving for a while and has been using them. These people want to get even. Here’s how some of them do it.

10. Catch them in the act

As a litigator I take a certain amount of joy in working in the courtroom. Nothing is more satisfying than cross examining a witness and catching them in a lie. Yes, lawyers pull all kinds of fancy arguments to trip people up and that has its own fascination but what I really love is catching a liar in a lie plain and simple. No fancy foot work.

As an example I had a client whose husband was cheating on her. She knew it and better yet he didn’t know she knew it. She was smart. Instead of exploding, throwing dishes and getting someone arrested she waited. She gathered evidence. She very carefully gathered cell phone records and credit card bills. She avoided doing illegal things like tapping his phone or breaking into his email. Instead she used GPS on the family car to track his movements. After a few weeks she had everything she needed, including pictures of him kissing his girlfriend goodnight.

On the witness stand Mr. Cheater adamantly denied adultery. He was offended that I would impugn his reputation in such manner. He denied going to strip clubs. He denied knowing his girlfriend. Until the proof started coming out. At that point the judge asked Mr. Cheater’s attorney if they would like to take a break and discuss settlement before the perjury (lying to a judge under oath) charges started coming out. My client got everything she wanted.

9. Video the exchanges of the children

I had a client whose spouse accused him of being verbally abusive to her every time they met to exchange the children. We tried everything to solve the problem. My client brought a witness, she claimed the witness was lying. We demanded they meet in a public place, she still claimed he screamed and yelled at her. Finally my client mounted a video camera to the dash of his car and aimed it at the exchange point. The video clearly showed him being kind and polite returning the children from his weekend visit. The following week I got a call from her lawyer ranting and raving about needing a protective order to shelter his poor little client from my dangerous ogre of a client. I asked what he was referring to and he told me that my client had once again verbally abused his client during the post-weekend exchange.

I let him ramble on then finally suggested he check his email and call me back. About 30 minutes later I got a sheepish call saying never mind. The video in his email clearly showed him who was being truthful and it wasn’t his client.

8. Kill them with kindness

On the other side of the video idea is the thought that your spouse may be recording every conversation you have. No one knows how to push your buttons faster than your spouse. They will try to ever so sweetly goad you into an verbal tantrum for the benefit of the recording.

So kill them with kindness. Don’t give them what they want. Be so sweet that they are afraid to play the recordings for fear that it will help your case and hurt theirs.

7. Be the good parent, don’t use your kids as spies

It is incredibly tempting to be the parent that digs into your kids after every visit. You are just dying to know what is going on over there. Or you are afraid of what harmful things your spouse might be exposing your children to.

Children are not stupid. They know when they are being probed and they can figure out how to work it to their advantage. Worse yet, it will come back to haunt you. Your spouse will find out about it and you will be accused of alienating the affections of your children from your spouse. The information you get simply isn’t worth it.

6. Don’t be a massive jerk

I once had a potential client come in and try to hire me to represent him for a divorce. His one stipulation was that I had to find a process server to deliver the divorce papers on Christmas morning. Apparently she had the kids for Christmas and he was bitter about it so he wanted me to hire someone to deliver the papers Christmas morning, dressed as Santa, telling HO HO HO at her.

I didn’t take that case. I’m sure that if he pulled that one off it blew up in his face when the judge heard about it.

5. Gather Financials

When I’m not arguing over kids I’m arguing over money. Knowledge is power. If you can gather up financial documents, especially without the other side finding out you have them you give me something to compare and contrast to what they provide. We find people hiding assets this way, especially if they are self-employed. Often when you catch someone hiding assets the judge will just give them to you instead of splitting them between you and your spouse.

4. File your taxes on time

Not just on time, but correctly. I am not a tax expert and this is not legal tax advise, but if you are engaged in a divorce and are living separately you may be able to claim deductions you wouldn’t normally be able to claim. Talk to a tax expert and file as quickly as you can. At the very least if the tax return is in your hands you don’t have to worry about them blowing it. Of course you probably shouldn’t spend it either until the divorce is over, just in case.

3. Offer to pay child support, even if you don’t have to.

If the other person leaves with the kids offer to give them some money to help out. It doesn’t have to be much, especially if they have their own income and don’t really need your help. This is a great way to mess with your spouse’s lawyer because one of our favorite arguments to make to the judge is “look what a bad guy/gal the other side is! My client has been caring for these children all this time and they haven’t offered a dime to help!” Beat them to it. Offer the dime. Knocking their legs out from under them before they can make arguments is great. It is even better if the other side doesn’t bother to tell their lawyer you gave them money and the lawyer makes a standard argument that you didn’t even offer to pay. You can make them look like a fool in short order. Just don’t do that to me!

2. Spend every possible minute with your children

Regardless of your situation at work, home or whatever spend every possible second you can with your children. Don’t spend your time prying into your spouse’s life through your children. Don’t park them in front of a tv and veg. Spend real time, creating real memories with your kids. This is great because:

1. Your children need it! They didn’t ask for the divorce and don’t deserve to be treated poorly because of it!

2. Your spouse will hate it. They will be wondering what you are up to and it will drive them crazy and there is nothing they can complain about.

3. Divorce and your children aren’t a single battle. It is a war made up of small battles fought over years. You need to make headway now by showing your kids that you love them while you can. Create bonds and when they are adults they can look back on the divorce and not be bitter.

1. Have a full and happy life

The absolute best revenge is a life well lived. Don’t let the divorce destroy you. Don’t forget about it or miss the opportunity to learn from your mistakes but don’t dwell on it until it festers and destroys what is left of your life. Don’t move on too quickly. Don’t make major decisions right after a divorce but do things that make you happy. Find joy. If for some reason you truly feel like you need revenge on your ex-spouse the best way to take it is to have a wonderful life and show them what they are missing.

Restaurant Dining Review – Bar Stools, Why Are They So Uncomfortable

Hey, Restaurant Guy, we’re your customers. That’s right, we pay your bills – so listen up. Why are your bar stools so uncomfortable? Do you really want us to jump ship and move to another bar where we can adjust our attitude in comfort? Before you defend your bar stools, sit in one for thirty minutes without getting up. Do you feel relieved to get up, or do you want to order another toddy and kick back.

There are thousands of attempts at bar stool design – meaning no bar stool designer has yet gotten it right. Bar stool design is a classic case of function forgotten by form. It is obvious to us, just by inspection (even more so by imperiling our posteriors), that bar stools are designed and selected for appearance – not for our comfort. Somewhere there has to be an annual international competition for “The World’s Most Uncomfortable Bar stool.” Judges would sit designers in their own creations and observe their pained expressions to establish each bar stool’s discomfort index. A perennial winner must to be the grape-pattern cast iron bar stool: cast iron legs, cast iron seat, cast iron arms and cast iron back. It takes two people to move one of these horrors, and the discomfort index is just below “The Iron Maiden” used in the Spanish Inquisition.

Some importance has to be attached to the type of bar you operate. All bars can be lumped into three categories: 1) drinking bars, including those that serve some food; 2) holding-tanks for restaurant diners waiting to be seated; 3) body shops whose denizens prowl for companionship.

Body shop bar stools require the least comfort. Sitting too long in a body shop might be construed negatively and be self defeating in our quest for Mr. or Ms. Goodbar. Hence, we must mingle – not stake a bar claim. An uncomfortable bar stool is a reminder to move out into the melee.

Comfortable bar stools offer commercial opportunity for restaurant holding-tank bars. Given a comfy spot to cozy up to your bar, some of us might migrate to and nest in your operation during happy hour and when there is no restaurant wait. This extra income might pay for comfortable bar stools.

We insist on comfortable bar stools in drinking bars. Without delving into the psychological manifestations, your drinking bar exists so we can escape from whatever is bugging us. We come to you for relief. Whether the relief comes from a bottle, from companionship, or from solitude – escaping reality is impossible when your bar stool keeps hounding our heinies back into real time.

Since designers have yet to produce the perfect bar stool, we will give you a shopping list of features for you as a bar operator to look for when replacing your bar stools.

1) Large, soft padded seat – essential! A real positive for the plentiful posterior.

2) Soft padded back – prevents back pain. Don’t bother with a bar stool back unless it’s comfortable.

3) Swivel seat – prevents neck pain when talking to or ogling the person next to us.

4) Arms – nice, but optional. They take up room and might debilitate another bar patron if we swivel suddenly.

5) Adjustable footrest – prevents leg cramps while dangling in midair.

6) Roller casters – make it easy to pull ourselves up to the bar. Also useful for wheeling overly relaxed patrons out to a cab.

Then of course, there is the one style bar stool as yet not attempted – The Recliner! The first bar with reclining bar stools will become a tourist attraction.

copyright 2006 Bill Stephens

Thumbs Up for a High Flying Good Time at Honeymoon in Vegas on Broadway

A creative adaptation from the 1992 movie, Honeymoon in Vegas The Broadway Musical was lively, fast-paced, funny and literally “electric.” I’m always a little skeptical when going to see a screen to stage production, but, this time, I was pleasantly surprised.

I will be totally honest and tell you that my real motivation in purchasing tickets to this show, currently in previews as of November 18th, was the star power and my own personal affinity for Tony Danza. Yes, I was swayed by my youthful crush on Mr. Danza from his “Who’s the Boss” and “Taxi” days. And, let me assure you, I enjoyed every moment of his performance as Tommy Korman, the powerful Vegas gambler.

The storyline, of course remains the same, as Jack Singer, played by Rob McClure, the commitment phobic boyfriend, finally agrees to take the plunge into marrying his long-time girlfriend, Betsey Nolan (Brynn McNalley) with a spur of the moment trip to Vegas to elope. Smitten with Betsey, who bears a striking resemblance to his deceased wife, Tommy Korman (Tony Danza), orchestrates a rigged poker game, in order to have Jack pay for his losses with his fiancé, Betsey.

And so the story goes with its ups and downs (literally!) as Jack attempts to recapture his bride to be away from the smooth talking Korman.

Well-written with many of the same funny lines and humorous dialog as the original film, Andrew Bergman, who wrote both the screenplay and the play, succeeds in creating a witty, funny and entertaining story.

This is one of the few shows on Broadway right now that is a good choice for kids as well. I brought my two daughters (8 and 10) to see this along with my “Travelin’ Cousin” Tanya and her son and daughter (16 and 13). With its bright and colorful stage design, resounding and upbeat music by Tony-winner Jason Robert Brown and slapstick comedic affects, my kids were laughing throughout the production. No foul language either, which was an added bonus!

My favorite scene was none other than the Flying Elvis sequence and its inventive airplane backdrop and lively dance number. Not to mention the “electrifying” suits!

Story – Check; Music – Check. Now, let’s talk about the performances. The cast was a tight-knit group of performers who brought this story to life with dance and larger than life characterizations and chemistry.

What a joy for me to see Mr. Danza live on stage. He was just delightful in his tough, yet charming role. Who knew he had such a nice singing voice! He even surprised me with his soft-shoe tap dancing! The only negative could arguably be his playing the “bad guy” with his good looks and charming demeanor, but then again, I’m a bit prejudice! To me, he’s still the boss, even on Broadway!

Mr. McClure was endearing as the neurotic, protagonist switching off between humor, and song and dance, playing opposite Ms. O’Malley, whose voice was alluring and performance engaging.

A definite thumbs up for a high-flying good time!

Now, for me, the highlight for all of my Broadway excursions is waiting by the stage door for the cast to exit. My kids cannot imagine seeing a show without this exciting experience to top off the evening. So, off we went to wait… Right up in front we managed to get autographs from the show’s three leads, as well as snap some pictures with them!

It was quite obvious that these folks love what they do and have such an abounding appreciation for their fans. That’s why I love Broadway so much and Honeymoon in Vegas is just one more for my long list of memorable shows!

What 80s Movies Taught Me About Entrepreneurship

One night, unable to sleep, I turned on my television, and found myself watching the 1983 movie Risky Business. I hadn’t seen it in years, and am not really the biggest Tom Cruise fan, but I was surprised that, as a small business owner, I could relate to this movie, about a young guy who inadvertently starts a successful brothel, in a way I never had before. To clarify, I could relate to the “starting a business” part of the movie, not the brothel part.

In one defining conversation, Tom’s teenage character receives some very shrewd advice on life and business from his close friend, played by the man who would go on to become “Booger” on Revenge of the Nerds. Future Booger tells him that, “sometimes you gotta say WTF, and make your move.”

Future Booger then goes on to say that “every now and then, saying WTF gives you freedom. Freedom brings opportunity. Opportunity makes your future.”

Of course, they’re talking about sex here, but the theme of the movie is risking it all for a chance at the good life and, in that vein, this one bit of dialogue foreshadows the pitfalls and peaks that the future Mr. Ex-Katie-Holmes will go through in the next week, as he builds a brothel business in his parents’ home.

Because most of my morals and values have been gleaned from 80s movies, I suddenly got to thinking about different 80s movies, and what I have learned from each about becoming an entrepreneur, and sustaining my own business.

I share this enlightenment with you:

Risky Business taught me to think outside the box: When Future Booger tells our young friend Tom to just say “WTF,” he is really telling him that, only through taking big risks, with total faith in your own abilities, can you achieve a success beyond your wildest dreams. Tom’s career goals, as a teenager, are to get into an Ivy League college, get a respectable job, make a good income, and buy a nice house on Lake Michigan. What he really wants, deep down, is a personal fulfillment that he’ll likely never get from following in the footsteps of his suburban parents. By opening our minds to a life outside of what we think are our limitations, and taking chances, we also open the door to opportunities that would not have found us otherwise.

Pretty Woman taught me to lookout for my own welfare: Kit told Vivian to “take care of you” before she got in the car with Richard Gere. It’s important to love what you do for a living (even if you are a call girl), but always remember that business is business, and you can’t sustain a business unless you are constantly looking out for your own best interests, whether in terms of personal safety, personal happiness, or pay. Nobody else will do it for you, so make sure to always take care of you.

Breakfast Club taught me how to network: Networking is essential to business success, especially when you are first starting out. Treat everyone like a potential customer, and treat every customer as though they have the ability to bring you even more customers; because everyone is a potential customer, or knows a potential customer. This is true whether you are dealing with a criminal, an athlete, a brain, a basket case, or a princess.

Ferris Bueller’s Day Off taught me this very important sales technique: There is an adage in business that people aren’t just buying from you; they are buying you. There is also an adage that says that people won’t remember what you said or did, but they will remember how you made them feel. Ferris Bueller understood both these concepts. He was charming, and fun, and made everyone feel good about themselves. Because of this, he could sell sausage to Abe Froman, the Sausage King of Chicago, or at least get himself on a float in a downtown Chicago parade.

When it comes to succeeding in business, personality is important. Be friendly, be upbeat, be positive, and be helpful. If something isn’t working, try a different approach, and do it cheerfully. Attitude really is everything.

Dirty Dancing taught me to never put baby in the corner: Johnny had all the talent and dedication to his craft that you would want in a dance instructor in the Catskills in the 1960s. Unfortunately, he had a chip on his shoulder, probably deservedly so, and it showed in the way he carried himself. This is why Baby’s dad assumed he knocked up his dance partner, setting off a chain of events that resulted in putting her in the corner. Never change who you are, or pretend to be something you’re not, but definitely keep your personal feelings and prejudices out of your business. Others’ perception of you can make or break your business. Keep it positive and professional at all times, and save your “true colors” for your down time.

Some Kind of Wonderful taught me to give it my all: It sounds cheesy, but successful entrepreneurs are those who know their deepest heart’s desire, and aren’t afraid to go after it with everything they’ve got. When you become clear on what you want, and passionately give it your all, the path to your goal becomes clear. Even if you find that you were wrong about what you wanted, when you discover that your BFF Watts is actually the girl for you, and not the popular Amanda Jones, it doesn’t matter. Just the act of putting all your energy into that which will bring you the greatest joy is enough to get you there.

Say Anything taught me to keep my eye on the prize: Lloyd Dobler doesn’t want to do anything involving selling anything, buying anything, or processing anything. He knows he is good at one thing: being with Diane Court. He knows this is what he wants. Diane knows. Her father knows. Diane’s neighbors who were treated to an early-morning boombox rendition of Peter Gabriel’s “In Your Eyes” know. He sticks to his guns, and follows his dreams… all the way to London, where he probably never had to sell, buy, or process anything he didn’t want to.

What about you? What 80s movies am I missing, and what have they taught you about work, business, or life in general?

Deadpool Preview

Today was a pretty special day. I finally got hands on time with the new Deadpool game on the PlayStation 3. I’ve heard quite a bit about this game and the trailers were really clever and funny but the one thing they omitted was the actual game play. I took this as a warning because this game was due out relatively soon. The only hope I had was that High Moon Studios was developing the game, and luckily for us, they did a great job. For the most part.

The level I selected was one of the earlier stages that had Deadpool starting off in the bowels of a sewer. Before you escape the lower levels, you’re tasked with assaulting various bad guys with a few short and sweet katana attacks. The attacks were swift and brutal- to my liking- there was a lot of blood and equally generous amounts of dismemberment. Mr. Wade Wilson’s jokes were spot-on and acknowledge that he’s very much aware that he’s in a videogame.

That’s actually one of the brighter points in the Deadpool game, the humor. Deadpool has quite a bit to say during combat and you’d want to make sure the volume’s up so you don’t miss any of it. Many times during the E3 demo I was hacking and slashing my way through various enemies and Deadpool kept throwing out insults or wacky commentary. This title was very faithful to the character, and that’s sure to please a lot of fans.

Another feature that was faithful to the comic book character was his healing factor. While you’re taking a beating, Deadpool’s costume gets ripped and torn along with his skin, revealing a grotesque Wade Wilson. It’s very similar to the highly underappreciated X-Men Origins: Wolverine title from 2009. There are ways to get your health back during combat; for example, once you defeat an enemy they might drop a health orb.

One thing I did notice during the E3 demo was the sudden spike of difficulty. As you’re progressing through the sewers your adversaries are incredibly easy to deal with but once you’re up in a skyscraper they become almost overwhelming. That’s when most of the E3 testers died, gave up and walked away. I took the reins and tried it for myself; all you had to do was use Deadpool’s firearms. You just have to switch up your tactics – you can’t always just slice and dice. It would’ve been nice to have a subtle change in difficulty, not a sudden slam of trigger-happy baddies surrounding you.

The gun gameplay was your standard over-the-shoulder third person shooter; you can’t use cover but there’s really no need. Deadpool has access to his dual Uzis, Shotgun and trusty pistols. All seemed very capable. You do need to be aware of your ammunition as well but when you kill something there’s a chance for the baddies to drop more. As you kill the AI you’ll be awarded points that you can spend on upgrading your Deadpool. The upgrade system was very similar to Beenox’s Amazing Spider-Man game that came out last summer. The leveling up skills all seemed useful and powerful. If I had the full game I would definitely try and bump up my prowess with the swords.

I would say the main worries I’d have with the game would either be the difficulty, or the sometimes unruly camera. Often during the gun gameplay I had trouble snapping back to enemies and blasting them away. These aren’t major issues though, and the game was incredibly fun. That’s what we need in a Deadpool game. He’s not Batman. He’s a crazy Merc with a Mouth!

In terms of audio and video, they were both what you’d expect. The graphics never impressed me but they were never ugly. The environments at times felt uninspired as you ran through them but most of the time you were more focused on the task on hand. As with the audio, the dialogue was funny but the sound effects weren’t anything special. No Hans Zimmer soundtrack for this one.

All in all, Deadpool seems like a fantastic start to a comic book video game franchise. I will definitely be picking this one up. I had a great time blasting and cutting my way through adversaries and I’m a big fan of the character. This game is pretty much done- it releases here June 25- so I doubt the finicky camera will be adjusted but it was only a small annoyance. I’m now officially pumped for this game!

HypoManiacs Often Misunderstood

Are you a Hypomaniac? If you are you have some definite advantages over others. Hypomaniacs are often superstars in their fields, but they are often misunderstood by those who work so hard to profile personalities and put individuals into neat little boxes.

Regarding this article which seems to be the present day thought on the Hypomaniac Syndrome: 'Hypomanic' executives often most successful Associated Press 04/26/2002 Washington-

I too have been studying this group of people as I observe the superstars and read the biographies of the most driven individuals. Here are my thoughts on the subject. Perhaps you can assist and shed some light on this subject.

First off the Very good article. But how does an individual know if he has this "Hypomanic" Thing? I submit the hypomaniac person maybe much more complicated than was introduced in this article.

And having those traits myself (many times those who chose the subject of psychology actually have questions about themselves which causes them to go into such subject matter as a profession). I have read 100s of biographies of the greatest leaders, sports figures, inventors, entreprenuers, warriors, scientists, etc. Yet I have a hard time placing many of these people into those categories. So it seems hard to find a correlation to these comments in the article and also difficult to see the downside of such a person for society, it is a plus and allows many of us to live without worry because those hard chargers are protecting the heard so to speak.

Most hypomaniacs would not see the drawbacks. I too do not see them as negative; I do see them as an advantage. This is very interesting indeed. I first must question and wonder about the "risk taking" thing a little, in that I do not believe these people see it as a risk, I know I do not. Challenge yes, risk, not really. Innovation is a necessity of any of these people, and that maybe perceived as out on a limb or a risk. As far a the grandiosity issue I think that too maybe debatable, because nothing is impossible, anything can be achieved it is more a matter of mind and perseverance which I guess a PhD in the psychology field would not be able to readily recognize. Any person like this Hypomanic, constantly has others tell them they cannot do something, yet they do it for spite. Is it really grandiosity of the Hypomaniac or is it misjudgment of the observer? I think it maybe the psychologist are thinking they are so special that they cannot conceive of these people and their reach. For instance many Entrepreneurs and I use this context because the article does (I suppose scientists have other traits if they were hypomaniacs) do poorly after their first big win, in their next big thing or endeavor.

Entrepreneurs rarely have multiple wins in different industries, except people like Branson, Gates, Fred Smith (Fed EX), Wayne Hiezinga. The reason for these is they carried their same work ethic into the next battle, and they are not done yet, they want more. I see one of the traits at Harvard use to be hard work ethic, yet do not see it in these people anymore. Enron debacle was stupid, they had the world by the balls, but leadership slacked off, right when they should have been really turning on the juice. They needed a visionary, no prisoners leader, like the previously mentioned, too bad, because it hurt America. The reasoning being that commoditizing additional things that are omnipotent for our society is of value. I think also if the idea that Gates also has savant tendencies and you add Bi-Polar to it, then you have to go back to the drawing board and cannot relate his success or hard work ethic with that of the others.

Anyone out there is doing research on this Hypomanic personality trait should post their comments after this discussion. When studying great people such as, Gates "The Road Ahead" (And the Inner Circle Magazine), Turner "It Ain't As Easy as It Looks", Ellison "The Difference Between god and", Richard Branson book "Virginity," and Guzietta from Coke A Cola "I Want the World to Buy a Coke". All seem to have many of these traits. I think the anger in stupidity, bureaucracy, and slow moving brain dead people, causes them to work harder, all seem to mention this in their autobiographical works. Perhaps they are trading the maniac mild depression into anger and steam and using it to heat up the soft tissue in the back of the head to drive their stick-to-it-ness back to the home front battle. I sometimes think that the anger of the brick walls in the way force these individuals to go crazy forcing them into their work. How can anyone be depressed if they are doing what they love to do? They love to win.

A hypomaniac which does not like what they are doing might be different. Tesla the famous AC inventor had many of these traits and yet loved his work. There maybe cases to prove this point wrong. Maybe these off the chart Hypomaniacs have other sides to them, but this mild maniac depression seems a little unlikely. If people have witnessed these traits in these people, I would say they mistook the depletion of vitamins due to the self inficted stress of the their own inner personal battle with the "human factor" resistance put in their way to get to where they are going to be. It is possible to go without eating and sleeping and then all of a sudden it hits you. Maybe these people if witneesed in a depression like state, just need some more Chormium Picolinate or protien for their brains. This particular article may have missed a couple other benefits, although obviously cannot be a whole book because it is just an article;

1. When people cannot put you in their frame of reference they mis judge your motivations and needs in negotiations and therefore give you the upper hand;

2. Also a person moving that fast cannot have too many friends due to time. Therefore does not get too caught up in "Familiarity Breeds Contempt" traps;

2.5 Competition cannot keep up, because if they copy them, they are already several more steps ahead and back around to flank them. They never know what hit them and then it is too late;

3. Misdirection and miss information techniques are easier to emloy because no body can figure out where you are going or coming from;

4. When they are moving that fast and have faith in future moves they do not need to worry, they will find a way. This looks dangerous to others, and it gives them an advantage because no one will dare follow;

5. A moving target is harder to hit and almost impossible to follow;

6. Their very existence intimidates people, which can also help you. People are afraid of you;

7. Their energy radiates out word and causes things to line up your way by your sheer will.

Now on the drawbacks side of things the articles fails to mention the following; Draw Backs:

1. They burn people out;

2. Others that emulate them often fail, it requires too much knowledge and skill to work at this level;

3. People question their judgment because they do not realize the multiple affect. ie … Ted Turner over paying in a merger so he had the movie classic content for his future project;

4. They have problems relating with people who cannot reason or do complex thoughts;

5. They do not do good at parties which are wasting your time. Although you can be the life of the party quite easily;

6. They are still stuck in linear time and therefore cannot do everything you want to;

7. They have to be careful not to run right over someone or through them, it is very easy to do;

8. They have no peers, this may actually be a benefit up for discussion.

Regarding the downer side of this hypomaniac title or labeling, I cannot see the mellow downer side of it. I do not see that maniac depression state? Perhaps that was put in there to capture the "Bi-Polar" thing to loop the story in a full circle, readers believe in all that Bi-Polar, lithium and Prozac (a good book on this subject is "Living With Prozac" ( scary book if you think of what this can do to our soicety) stuff. After all readers will not buy the superman idea without the kryptonite? Is the author sure that, that was not put in just to appease readers and make them not feel so little against these people?

There may be brief times where you have to think a lot, to get them out of a jam they got into by hitting the wrong turn in the maze or running through the wrong door of opportunity. But then again that is only a short time frame, then you usually just find a way to use all the mistakes as advantages. This article now makes me remember, of a guy who crashed into his new house in his new Beechcraft Baron? He may have had a moment such as this depression thing, but killing one's self is giving up and a person with unlimited energy and a brain to match would never give up. Now if you need a down side maybe it would be the "burn out affect" or something else, although that does not seem to work either, judging by history and the referenced biographies above. Of course if one does not eat right or take care of themselves this type of person will write checks that it's body cannot cash, causing health issues, I suppose.

In this article are the PhDs or author really specialists in Bi Polar disorders? I once had a gentleman who worked for me who was Bi-Polar, he had his life really screwed up, nice guy and needed help. I had to cut him lose due to performance issues, we needed more output. Some days he was terrific and other not at all. I was wondering what type of job a person like this might be best suited for. He was not good at a sales, although everyone seemed to like him. My theory was that his displacement caused feelings of superiority in others around him and make him appear to have Charisma and be approachable and non-intimidating. He was on Litium. What does lithium do to people, well it seems wrong to give to people, does it have after side affects?

After all Bi-polar is interesting since the Cerebellum if unfolded is 1128 cu centimeters the size of a record album cover which is bigger than either of the left or right side of the brain. Even together the cerebral cortex including both halves is 1900 cubic centimeters. So those who use it well are able to do more faster. We know from those who have brain injuries that their brain uses the cerebellum as RAM memory and lights up on the computer screens with activity when the damaged part of either the left or right side cannot be used. There are more cells and neurons in the cerebellum than the rest of the brain, much more capacity. So when some is using it they can do more faster and process more data and crutch more numbers so to speak. You may wish to check up on Nueroantomist Santiago Ramon y Cajal.

Sharks have also huge cerebellums and they have 400 million years of evolution on the modern man no matter what you believe as far as 160,000 years, 40,000 years since Neanderthal or 10,000 years of Chinese recorded written history. The problem I see with the article is that everyone is a Doctor of something and they are the same people giving kids under age 6 Prozac and screwing up their brains before full development. Perhaps the Hypomaniac is a positive label although to try to narrowly title a behavior is unhealthy and can cause risks of mislabeling. People who appear to be different for whatever reason all share another familiar advantage in sports, war, business, game or politics. Their opponents and followers, who do not understand them, once they realize that they do not understand, often fear them. From a Machiavellian standpoint one could say this is good if you are in a leadership capacity and especially good in the unforgiving battle in politics. It's best if your opponents think you are crazy and unpredictable, because that incites fear and hesitation, the edge needed in surprise attack or reciprocal response. If your followers do not understand your methods but understand your strength in intelligence they will follow you and not try to topple you out of fear and admiration. This too would be considered a positive attribute if this article Bi-Polar theory holds true from the Hypomaniac executive model.

Remember Patton use to say that if stood on his jeep to make a speech he had everyone's ear, his troops knew he knew how to win, the media made him sound crazy beating up on hospital wounded or panic attacked soldiers and no one could figure him out and therefore to his advantage, he was able to fly by the seat of his pants into victorious battle. Hitler talked in mesmerizing cadence and put people in a beta state of mind. While also having the ups and downs of Bi-Polar tendencies. Vince Lombardi said to be one of the greatest sports leaders in history also had mood swings to the low, they say. Steve Jobs is a good example of bi-polarality in this article context from what I have read. Perhaps a bi-polar type tendency and a trend towards hard charging never give up individuals and hypomaniac label may actually be a strength of character to be addressed and watched for positive advantages and to keep from turning evil?

The premise that there is only room for one visionary at a time is false. Visionaries always seek out like-minded visionaries to vision with. If one is the absolute boss, then there is a problem but it is not like household pets where the first pet is the boss. Visionaries often work well together and two minds are better than one providing the fundamental issues are equal (Belief System Theory-Equally yoked principle). Now then people like Mr. Lear, Edison, Tesla, Copernicus, Leonardo de Vinci, etc. may actually be loners and work better that way, although they all had companions and understood they needed help to get out their message and inventions and bring things to market.

There can be other experiments to determine if these hypomaniacs really exist to the degree mentioned in the article. By using naturalistic observations and a limited control group of other over achievers and we will have created a random assignment. I question the validity of subjects like Gates and Jobs as proof that the Bi-Polar theory holds true to the Hypomaniac hypothesis. The correlation in such limited data set along with the PR bull that their companies and books promote make it difficult to know the truth of any of this. I mean, the theory still may have some validity, and it cannot be proven either way unless we can have them at our disposal for a week or two which is impossible based on the justice departments needs of gate's time when he should be working on R and D projects and Jobs incredible schedule and interview rounds with his latest new product rollout. And if these subjects were taken away from their artificial lives compared with that of normal folks we could lose the whole project. For instance if we took all these people and put them on a track with go carts and watched their behavior we might see some interesting things similar to all, but we may also find none to that of the HS Athlete, full of piss and vinegar wanting to conquer their world. Does this make sense? If the article and theories hold true and we cannot have off the chart in one direction without off the chart in another, which I believe too, then the Bi-Polarity between Major Depression and Mania maybe a good answer for things. And if this is so then we should not condemn those who are too far off the end on one side, because they have so much to offer the world on the other. Interesting.

This subject matter is fascinating as we try to understand the human spirit and will of top performing individuals, what on Earth makes them tick? The examples presented are interesting indeed and we need to take a real look into the theory, which seems to be too simply defined in the article and there has to be more to this. Although the article hits home for me, thus I find this subject matter of value, it appears we might all learn from such hard charging super stars like Gates and Jobs. I think I still have to question trying to pigeon hole any individual as people are complex and are an accumulation of all their observations, experiences, genetics and achievements are unique and therefore such simple classifications may be highly invalid, why don't we simply ask them? If any one has any data on Hypomaniac Syndromes, please post them below so that other Think Tank members can review this as many over achiever tend to also join think tanks to make a difference.

Firecracker Lobster Cooked on the Grill

Though I certainly can’t always afford it, good seafood is one of my favorite things to eat. I’m not big on places like that Long John place that fries everything they serve. But if someone doesn’t mind treating me to dinner, I’m always ordering scallops or shrimp. I’ll get lobster too if it’s done a certain way. I don’t mind having it plain and dipping it in clarified butter. But lobster is such a delicious food by itself; it begs to play with other flavors. One of those flavors lobster loves is that smoky flavor you get from a grill. My gas grill is the perfect device to cook some fresh lobster on.

Every once in a blue moon, that meat truck that comes around my house will have some lobsters that Mr. and Mrs. John Q couldn’t afford to pay for that week. So, they’ll knock 3 dollars off the per-pound price and sell them to another customer while they’re still fresh. I make sure to ask them weekly. When I do get lucky, they go straight out to the grill for their date with destiny.

Firecracker Lobster

I doubt everyone gets their lobster from the meat guys, so you’ll need to hit up the store. We’ll need some lobsters (1 per person), a couple of lemons, a can of chipotle peppers, some garlic powder, and a stick of real butter. Don’t forget to grab your kitchen essentials like salt and pepper while you’re there. We’ll need those too.

This recipe is really all about the dipping sauce. The lobster is so good by itself; all I do is cut a slit in the tail, cut those bands from their claws, and grill them up. But for the sauce we’ll need to melt that stick of butter in a small sauce pan. When it’s melted, add 1 tablespoon of garlic powder, some black pepper, and just a pinch of salt. In a blender, take 2 chipotle peppers and about 2 tablespoons of the adobe sauce and blend until smooth. Combine that with the butter and stir over low heat. Add the juice of a lemon to balance it all out.

Cut your grill to medium and let it heat up for a bit. To make that slit in the tail, just take a good, relatively large knife and gently tap on the tail until you notice it’s starting to make an impression. After that, give it a healthy whack and it should split open. You can definitely skip this step. I just like the way the meat looks when it cooks like this. Plus you get a bit of smoky flavor in the meat itself.

After your grill’s heated, just place the lobsters down and close the lid. Come back in 10 minutes and take them off. Let them rest for about 10 minutes and you’ll have perfectly cooked lobster. I don’t really have any tips for getting the meat out without making a mess. But I do know that most people waste the lobster’s legs. There’s actually a good amount of meat in there. Just pull them off, get yourself a good grip on the bottom with one hand, take your other hand and squeeze upward. The meat comes right out.

This sauce is perfect for dipping. I like just using 2 peppers in the sauce; it doesn’t overtake the butter and garlic. If you want it hotter, then just put more on the lobster. The taste of the lobster still comes through predominantly; the sauce just gives it a nice firecracker pop.

Win Love and Romance – Show Him You Love Him

Have you ever thought about how you could show him you love him? Have you found Mr. Right and want to let him know that he is the only one for you? Are you tired of being alone and long for romance and marriage? I think we can help. Lets have a frank discussion on how to show him you love him.

What is the best dating advice? How do you attract men? What can be the real attraction? Is it just to throw yourself at him? Maybe you should camp out on his front door step and text him all the time. Maybe you should have sex with him, even though you have just met. Well, if you look at male psychology, you will see that all of those things are wrong. They will not work, and this is why.

If you just walk up to him and declare your love; show him you love him, even though he does not even know you well, that can be unnerving and awkward. That will not make him fall in love with you – it would be like when someone comes up close to you and puts their face right in your face. Your reaction would be to pull away and back up. It works the same when we profess words of love too soon in a relationship.

You can make a guy fall in love and make him commit to you full time if you show him that you care, and then give him something to chase. This is called balance. This is how it works –

When you catch his eye, smile a nice smile; and then look away.

When he calls, do not answer. But then call back later.

When you are talking, keep it short, and then leave the conversation.

Do you see the balance? You are telling him that you are interested, but then you are giving him something to chase.

This balance works. It is showing an interest in him, and combining that with playing hard to get. If you just went up to him and told him of your love, it would be too much too soon. A slower, gentler method is much more effective -that is the right way to show him you love him.

My Bold Prediction: Evan Gattis Will Hit 40 HR and Drive in 120 RBI

El Oso Blanco. The man with the niftiest nickname in the game, Evan Gattis. I'm sure after reading the title you think I'm crazy, don't fret, this is a normal reaction. There are some things in baseball that just make you sit back in your chair and go "whoa". That was my reaction the first time I saw Evan Gattis hit a home run. He had somewhat of an up and down season, but by the end of it I was certain of one thing; Evan Gattis is going to have a monster season in 2014. So sit back and let me attempt to turn your doubtful opinion into one of understanding and acceptance.

First thing's first let's just talk about what the man-bear did last season. Gattis first caught my eye in spring training. If you haven't read Gattis' story, Google it. Dude went from being a janitor to playing professional baseball in a year time. Because of this, he was relatively unknown coming into last year. That was until he used the tree trunk he calls a bat to slug 6 homers in only 57 at-bats while hitting for a stellar.368 in spring training. While yes this was a tiny sample, it was enough to sway the Braves into putting him on their MLB roster to start the season. It's easy to see what the Braves were thinking. If you just look at the guy you can see what excited them. Gattis is a lumberjack of a man, standing at 6 '4 "230 lbs; his power was no accident. If you need any convincing on his natural ability consider that he connected with the longest hit ball in the majors last year at 486 feet. Ya know, so there's that.

The second thing I would like to point out is that Gattis is coming into his prime at age 27 in 2014. There has been plenty of statistical evidence that point to 27 as being the age where players enter their prime, so I will not go into detail about that. This may seem odd to some because Gattis was a rookie in 2013, but like I said earlier Gattis didn't exactly have the typical path to the majors. Usually when you see a 26 year old rookie you are looking at a AAAA player, but not in Gattis' case. This means we have yet to see Gattis in his physical prime, which if you look at him is kind of hard to believe. This leads me to my final point, Gattis put up close to 40 home run numbers last year, they were just in disguise.

Let's just take a look at Gattis' season last year: .243 AVG, .291 OBP, 21 HR, 65 RBI. OK, now let's put that into context; he did that in a little over a half season's at-bats, 354. That is set to change in 2014, however, as McCann has taken his talents to the Big Apple leaving the starting job to Mr. Evan Gattis. With most catchers I would say it would be tough to get 600 at-bats because they often get one day a week to sit, but considering Gattis can also play outfield I think it is definitely something he can achieve. If we just take what Gattis did last year and project what it could have been if he played every day you get 35 HR, 110 RBI. That is a beast of a catcher, enough to the point you can overlook the AVG and OBP. Now I know those numbers fall a little short of my projection, but I have a perfectly reasonable explanation for that and it takes a little bit of digging.

If we bring up Gattis' 1st and 2nd half splits from last year you can see that the power somehow fell off with 14 HR in the first half and only 7 HR in the second half. When I saw this I thought it was strange considering most of this other numbers were right on par so I got to digging. That's when I brought up his flyball rate split numbers from last year. Now, if Gattis were going through some kind of funk we would expect his flyball rate to fall somewhat, and we did see a little from 47.3 to 42.2, but not enough to make up for the difference. Now, if you look at his HR / FB% you can see the tell, it fell from a ridiculous 23% in the first half to 11.3% in the second half. 11.3 is a really low number for a guy like Gattis and this can be an indicator that a guy was getting unlucky. This is where I think those 5 home runs will come from. Hopefully, if he is nice to them, the baseball gods will let up on him and he can go through a full season without any bad luck.

So what does all this mean? It means Evan Gattis is a man-bear and he is primed to take the fantasy baseball catcher position to a new level and if you don't hop on right now you will be shaking your head at the end of the season. I don't think I have had any crazy arguments in here, and hopefully you agree. I don't think the general population of fantasy players has caught onto Gattis yet so I would think that he is going to be a huge steal in 2014. One piece of advice I would give is if you are going to draft Gattis I would considering drafting a high average guy to offset him, because that is one thing he struggles with. But no one's perfect right? It wouldn't be fair to the rest of us if he did everything.

Will 500 Words Be The Savior Of Traffic Hungry Website Owners?

Lord save us…

Am I the ONLY internet marketing person out there online who is not frothing at the mouth about the newest “trend” to hit the fad-of-the-month Internet Marketing community?

Joel Comm (Mr Adsense) has been pushing his 500words.com site lately, and when I originally saw the site, a feeling of deja vu overcame me in a major hurry!

Remember that pixel selling craze of a year or so ago, where everybody went crazy buying 1 pixel ads on a website to get link popularity from Google and the other search engines?

That was great for the first 1-2 players in the field (from memory, the guy who came up with the idea made a million dollars from it?), and it got a LOT of free publicity for the early mover, but have you noticed that no one seems to be going crazy about those sites these days?

Why, you ask?

It’s simple really – because it goes against what the search engines are looking for when it comes to measuring the value of incoming links.

My opinion (for what its worth) when it comes to any “fad of the month” Internet Marketing “Secret Sauce” technique is simple: If I can’t show it to a Google Search Engine “cop” because he will penalise the link because it doesn’t meet their requirements for a quality link, then I don’t do it.

These sorts of short term thinking strategies might work for 1-3 months, but once Google figures it out, they will adjust their search engine algorithms to ignore links from sites like this.

However, I think what most disappoints me is that Joel Comm is the one pushing this. His AdSense Secrets ebook (which I brought and liked) gave me a good impression of the guy, but he just threw that reputation (for me) in the bin with this little venture.

If the 500words concept is so good, he would keep his mouth shut and just build these sites for himself to get the link popularity.

Instead, he’s pushing the script to build the keyword sites instead – because THAT’s where the money really is. He’ll sucker in heaps of get-rich-quick starry eyed types who think they’ll make a bunch of money with it, when in reality, HE will make the money and perhaps only 1-2 others as well.

People, can we use some critical thinking here PLEASE!

If this system is really as good as he says it is, why is he selling it instead of just using it for himself?

It’s simple really – he makes money on the people who buy the links AND he makes money on the people who buy his 500words script, who are also hoping to cash in on the fad.

However, I can guarantee you that within 6 months (probably less), Google will be giving any links from these sites minimal value. All these word links are doing at the moment is getting traffic because of the buzz, which is obviously nice, but it’s not a sustainable long term way to bring in site visitors.

If you want link popularity, instead of paying Joel to buy his script and/or buying some words on his site, hire a ghost writer from elance.com or rentacoder.com to write you some unique articles instead.

Publish the articles on your own site, and then rewrite them so that they have at least 25-50% different wording (and change the title, etc) to the original, and publish them on the major article sites like EzineArticles.com. Make sure you link your primary keyword/s in the author resource box back to your site when you publish them on other sites. That’s where the link popularity will come from.

The link popularity you will get from doing this will outweigh any link popularity you will get from the 500words site over the medium to long term.

This technique has got my largest client to #1 GLOBALLY on Google (against 115 MILLION competing pages!) for one of their primary keywords in less than 6 months. It took me about 2 hrs of work to publish those articles for him, and that’s all I’ve had to do since then.

Now, you can take THAT result to the bank! It’s a solid linking strategy, it keeps Google, Yahoo and MSN happy, and my client is over the moon, and it makes me look good (which I like).

What more can an SEO consultant ask for! 😉

I love working in the Internet Marketing/SEO field, but I despair at times at how many people just jump from fad to fad, hoping to get rich quick, instead of working smart, hard and putting together a quality site with plenty of cool unique content.

Freelance Web Designer | Web Design | WordPress | Hong Kong