Has your tongue ever seemed to be disconnected from your brain–especially at a pivotal moment in time? Have you ever blown a deal, a job interview, a promotion, or a relationship because you just couldn’t think of the right words to say? We have all experienced these embarrassing moments at some time or another.

You can easily overcome anxiety, expand your abilities, and empower yourself for success. Decide to do it now.

Know what you want to say. Begin with the end in mind. Listen attentively when someone else is speaking then take a moment to formulate your thoughts before you begin to speak. There may be a moment of silence; that is okay.

Get to the point quickly. Then it is easier for the listener to remember what you said. Provide supporting details using descriptive language, if appropriate. Most people think in pictures not words. Help them understand your meaning.

Take responsibility for your communication skills. Don’t blame others for not understanding what you mean. If your listener is puzzled, ask “Am I not stating this clearly?” Rather than “Don’t you understand what I just said?” Restate your message using different words. Eliminate misunderstandings as quickly as possible.

Respect the other person’s point of view, even if it differs profoundly with yours. This is especially important in an election year. Disagree without being disagreeable. If everyone had the same point of view, some of us would be unnecessary!

resource box

Concentrate on improving your skills and overcoming embarrassing blunders. Effective communication skills are the mark of an achiever!

A free self-assessment is available at http://www.goalminds.com/quiz/RateYou.htm

There is no doubt that kissing, when done correctly, can create an intimacy and connection that can catapult a relationship to the next level more quickly than any other act. When done poorly though, a lackluster kiss can doom a relationship with a partner with which you might have everything in common. This is why learning how to kiss is a skill that you should want to perfect even if you think that you already are a very good kisser.

Let’s think about this for a minute. Have you ever been with someone who was perfect in every way? You might have common goal and agreeing opinions on important topics. They might be extremely attentive and very generous with their time. They might even be very generous with little gifts and the like. Then there comes the moment of truth. You get your opportunity for the first kiss after a couple of dates and you find yourself totally nonplussed. Either it was like kissing a dead fish or you felt as if they were trying to devour you or perhaps even some aspect of that first kiss that you simply can’t put your finger on. Maybe you even give them another chance taking into consideration the fact that maybe they were just nervous or trying too hard. But each time you find that they just stink at kissing or even that there is just no passion when you kiss them.

Now think about this for a minute. Could it be possible that your partner or perhaps someone that you just started dating could feel the same way about you? Do you want to take that chance and possibly miss out on the relationship of a lifetime because you don’t know how to kiss? Let’s brush up on your kissing technique a little bit here and get you on the path to being the type of kisser that your date is going to brag to their friends about on Monday morning.

Tension – It is important to create some sexual tension leading up to that first kiss. Yes, they are thinking about it and you are thinking about it and chances are both of you have been thinking about what that first kiss is going to be like from the moment you first met. Don’t let them down by blowing it and picking the wrong time to experience that first kiss. There will come a time when the two of you are alone and your eyes meet and without a word being spoken you will know that this is the moment both of you have been waiting for.

Try not to appear over eager. Bask in the warmth of this moment. Experience it and allow yourself to be swept up in the passion of the moment. Take it slow and allow this moment to linger in time for as long as you possibly can. That first sweet kiss is the moment that your partner has been waiting for since they first saw you and as the two of you slowly move towards that first kiss the tension builds to a point where it can almost seem unbearable. This is what you’re aiming for and this should be your goal. Gentleness and but a whisper of a kiss can be the most passionate kiss that you can give your partner for their first kiss.

Passion – With that building tension will come passion and if you have done everything right and if your partner really is attracted to you the passion will rise as your first kiss is followed by further kisses. Allow yourself to be swept up in the moment. Go where your heart leads you while at the same time picking up on queues from your partner. If they become wild with passion then go with it. If they seem to be enjoying soft, tender kisses then give that to them. There will be subtle hints along the way that you should be looking for. Are they holding you tight or touching you softly? Is their mouth open or closed? Do they seem shy or have they gone from zero to sixty in 2.3 seconds? It could be that they have been waiting a long time for this moment and the tension and passion is unbearable for them now as they become overwhelmed with passion for you.

Talking – There’s nothing wrong with quiet whispers or even some louder vocalizations when kissing. All people are different and for some it is a turn-on while for others it’s just a distraction that can be annoying. Give it a try or take your partner’s lead? Typically, if your partner is a little chatty this will mean that they appreciate some banter while making out. If you don’t feel comfortable in vocalizing while kissing take things slow and build up to it. Again, for some it’s a big turn-on and a skill that you can learn and master without much effort.

Take these tips to heart and try to stay in tune with your partner as you approach that first kiss and every one after that and you will find that your relationship will benefit greatly. Kissing is a very important yet often overlooked part of a relationship that all of us could use a little help with.

Bearing the reality of loss in grief,

In order to experience the reality of relief,

Means we can’t fast-track, stifle or postpone,

That grief that means a reality we groan.

***

Grief is a reality that I am positively sure God meant for our good in this broken world of ours. I can say this having been touched by God in grief eleven years ago, to know that in the pain of that reality where I groaned day after day, month after month, there was a relief that could only come from God. Such a relief was available for the moment of reliance. Such a relief was also, ultimately, from a present-day viewpoint, a sustainable relief.

God affirms us in our growth and development, probably never more so than via the tests of impinging realities that seem wicked, onerous and harsh; yet their purpose is divine.

The catch-22 is, the moment we begin to get angry at God, and worse, stay angry, is the moment we start to lose our way. Groaning has its purpose. If we can lose our lives in the present torment, we gain much ground of endurance for future moments of torment.

I don’t think there is any ‘rocket science’ in learning to embrace grief. We all experience losses and everybody’s losses are relative. Only we can experience them. But if we accept the loss – with a childlike faith – as it comes – the best we can, for none of us meets grief well at all as we are learning – then God will bless such a response with growth.

Such a growth in the resilience of grief realities is never an overnight process, but it surely does happen. We are not only made more resilient, but more resolute; not just stronger, but softer; not just more compliant, but more compassionate, also.

It doesn’t really surprise me (or Sarah for that matter) that I can walk alone of a morning, in the week of my dearly departed son’s demise, and experience the fullness of God’s joy. People may think it remarkable, but we always read people’s grief through our own experience and perception. All our experiences of loss and grief are different.

When I say I’m doing okay, I mean that I want to embrace the sorrow as it arrives, and that, in between times, I am content with feeling normal.

Whether I’m feeling ‘normal’ or sorrowful God’s grace is sufficient; the Lord still governs my reality, so “it is well.”

***

We are unafraid of the gut-wrenching, soul-sobbing sorrow we are bound to feel. It is our reality. God is with us; he is for us and not against us. We know that God can use our reality for his purposes – even now – when we are courageous enough to bear the reality.

© 2014 S. J. Wickham.

As I typed most of these words Nathanael was with us, in the room.

“There is nothing wrong with you that cannot be fixed by what is right with you.” – Michael Neill

To recognize your vibration as a precious treasure is merely to hint at its value and significance in your life. Even fame and fortune pale by comparison. Everything you experience comes to you in response to your vibration. To live the life you desire, it will serve you very well indeed to guard your vibration as your most prized possession.

Your vibration, which consists of your thoughts, beliefs, attitudes and feelings, is the state from which you attract people and circumstances into your life. A high vibration attracts what you DO want and a low vibration attracts what you DO NOT want.

As I’ve become ever more vigilant about guarding my vibration, I’ve noticed a tendency to activate past memories of sadness and disappointment. With awareness of this negative habit, I am now able to make a conscious choice to “not go there.” With this awareness, I can swiftly replace sad thoughts with joyful, empowering thoughts.

Here are some ways to guard YOUR precious vibration:

Be Conscious. To be a Conscious Creator, it follows that you must be fully conscious, which means no more sleepwalking through life. With consciousness and awareness, you create deliberately rather than by default. Manage your vibration with conscious awareness and BE the Deliberate Creator you truly are.

Think Good Thoughts. You have a choice in every moment what kinds of thoughts to think and you create your reality based on this moment-to-moment choice. Thinking good thoughts produces good feelings which attracts good stuff. Be the gatekeeper and refuse to allow negative thoughts to enter your kingdom.

Focus on Positive Aspects. Set your intention to focus on the positive aspects in everyone and everything. Focus on what you DO WANT, not on what you DON’T WANT. Focus on what feels good, not what feels bad. Focus on the abundance, not the scarcity. Continuously seek out the most positive aspects of your life and consciously direct your attention there.

Notice How You Feel. Remember to be extra vigilant about guarding your vibration when you’re hungry, angry, lonely, or tired (good advice from AA). Taking good care of your vibration is also the best thing you can do for your health. When you think Feel-Good thoughts, your body releases Feel-Good chemicals into your system.

Protecting your vibration is not a passive activity. It’s a proactive exercise to keep tuning and retuning your vibration to what FEELS GOOD. It’s a conscious commitment to keep focusing and refocusing on what you DO WANT.

When all is said and done, creating a wonderful life is simply a matter of choosing wonderful thoughts. As you guard your vibration by reaching for the best feeling thoughts you can find in each moment, you’re creating the wonderful life you desire and deserve – one thought at a time.

TO HAVE THE BEST DAY EVER,

THINK THE BEST THOUGHTS EVER!

French microbiologist, Louis Pasteur forever altered history with the development of “the germ theory of disease”. This theory led to the process known as “pasteurization”. Pasteur was also instrumental in the development of the modern day vaccine and is identified as one of the three founding fathers of microbiology.

One of his most famous quotes, “Dans les champs de l’observation le hasard ne favorise que les esprits prepares”, or, “In the fields of observation chance favors only the prepared mind”, is one of my favorites. I find myself often repeating the latter part of the phrase as a mantra, of sorts. “Chance favors the prepared mind”, is a wonderful nugget of wisdom that reminds me that I must stay observant and open to creative opportunities and solutions.

Is there any tangible effect from this state of creative preparedness? I mean, is this just something we tell ourselves in order to feel optimistic about the future, or is there research backing up the theory of “prepared minds”.

The “Aha Moment” is one application of Pasteur’s theory. In the April 2006 edition of the Journal of Psychological Science, John Kounios of Drexel University, and Mark Jung-Beeman of Northwestern University published the findings of their research on creative thinking.

The team discovered a couple of things that i think are particularly illuminating.

– The brain actually functions differently during “Aha!”moments, compared to step by step solutions.

– “Mental preparation involving inward focus of attention promotes insight even prior to the presentation of a problem.”

Check that last statement out…prior to the presentation of a problem, and I would extend it to say not just problems.

Let that sink in for a moment. What they are saying is that the brain actually engages in “Aha” moment type preparedness before there is a reason to use it. Heavy duty insight right there…and here’s why.

Humans have a tendency toward jealousy, as in “Man, why did x get the promotion? It’s not fair!” This type of “you have it, so I can’t” thinking is not mentally preparing for opportunity, it is shutting opportunity out. You can’t possibly stay open to what comes your way if you are too busy feeling sorry for yourself.

By staying open to solutions and opportunities you are unaware of, you maximize the possibility of an aha moment and more broadly the theory of “Chance favors the prepared mind”. Pasteur encourages us to ready ourselves for greatness by taking the steps we know how to take in order to prepare. I suspect that many entrepreneurs live life in that way and may not even be aware of it.

Challenge yourself to be aware of your state of mind as you enter each day…stay open and expect great opportunities to come your way!

Meditation is a practice of spending time in quiet thought. Meditation can be sitting alone focusing on something (I focus on my breathing) or it can be focusing on doing whatever you are doing without thinking of anything else (living in the moment). Benefits of mediation include decreasing stress and improving health, while it has no none negative side effects.

Mindfulness Meditation

I use a technique called mindfulness meditation. I do this daily to clear my head and to allow me to focus on what is real (what I can see, hear, touch, taste or smell) and not what is going in my mind. While sitting in comfortable position, I close my eyes and focus on my breathing. I listen to my breathing, I feel my lungs contract and expand. If my concentration is broken with a thought, image or feeling, I imagine it as log floating down a river. I watch it as it floats out of site, without responding to it. After the thought, image or feeling is gone, I refocus on my breathing. I do this for at least ten minutes a day.

I have found that since starting this meditation that I am able to tackle situations that in the past would cause me to have stress. Now, I enjoy the moment; understanding that what we do in the moment is all that matters. I try to not let thoughts in my mind dictate my actions and reactions. Our thoughts and feelings are biased based on our life. It is not always good to allow our biases to control us.

Meditation helps relieve stress, improve health and has no negative side effects. It is free and can done by anyone. It can help provide clarity and focus in your life. So, they question really is “what do I have to lose?” Do this practice every day (you will get better at it) and see the effects in your life.

But mindfulness is more than meditation; it is a state of being mindful of the moment. Mindful mediation can help you achieve mindfulness by calming your mind, letting you concentrate on the present. Mindfulness means being aware of the moment, without thought of the past or the future. Practicing mindfulness puts us in the ideal state for us to excel because we don’t have the limitations of the past or the expectations of the future weighing on us. If we are eating, just eat. If we are reading, just read. If we are washing dishes, just wash dishes.

In today’s world, we all try to multitask at every opportunity. Multitasking has taken a lot of the joy out of our lives. When was the last you just sat down and enjoyed drinking a cup of coffee without doing anything else? When was the last time you was just with your child (spouse, parent or friend) and just enjoyed their company without the cell phone or computer? When we feel that we aren’t truly there for others, this is our bodies’ way of saying we need to practice mindfulness. When we have those feelings, we need to concentrate on being mindful of the situation and only it. Then we are practicing mindfulness and truly being there.

If I were to ask you how you feel, I am not asking how you felt yesterday or how you believe you might feel tomorrow. I am asking you how you feel at this very moment. If you were to answer me by saying, “at the present moment I feel fine,” then you are fine because now is all that exists. Tomorrow will always be beyond your grasp and yesterday is forever gone. All you have is now. It is the only reality.

Wedding photographers often receive the same lists from the new couple of must-have shots that can’t be missed. These include everything from the bride walking up the aisle, the cutting of the cake, and the bride and groom’s first dance. These images are extremely important, but it is the capturing of hidden moments that make the biggest difference in how well the story is captured in a series of still images.

Before The Main Events

Wedding photographers should certainly be included prior to the start of the day’s events. This should include the bride and groom preparing for the event and spending a few moments of quiet time with their best friends. This could be something as simple as a distant look out a window or adjusting a tie while shooting a wise crack at a buddy. The drive to the church can also hold important images. It isn’t that these images show a significant event, but rather the emotion and thoughts expressed throughout the day.

This special day not only involves the two people getting married, but several other important members, including family and friends that make these moments truly special. A quiet moment between the mother and father of the groom, emotions of a nervous ring bearer, or even a sleeping niece of the bride are just a few of these precious chapters to the story that are often lost. Many times, these moments are even a pleasant surprise to the newly married couple.

During The Event

Wedding photographers are sure to capture the big moments of the ceremony, the dinner, and celebration. They will also situate themselves to capture the segments of these events that are often overlooked, but speak volumes. A picture of a single tear in a father’s eye reveals volumes to the couple. A picture capturing a bride whispering comfort to her mother during a toast or the grandparents sharing a piece of the wedding cake can also be priceless. The main goal is to capture images of those on the sidelines to help record all aspects of the day.

After The Event

In many instances, the celebrations continue after the couple has left the celebrations to have their time alone. This time period is often a favorite for wedding photographers particularly for this reason. It could be finding a young child asleep on a chair or a mother’s face covered in cake after a surprise. One moment that often captures the story is the look on the faces of attendees as the couple leaves. These shots particularly involve knowing how close to be in these instances. It is also a large part of being in the right place at the right time.

Wedding photographers in Chicago or throughout the world have to use their skill and experience to capture the entire story of the day and not just the tale of the bride and groom. A natural curiosity is the only way to get untainted emotion in the pictures. When everyone looks at these pictures and learns something they didn’t know or can feel the emotion in that moment, you know you have the perfect wedding pictures.

The general concept of Dig Bala is that planets will do better supporting certain angles in the chart than others. When a planet is closest to its best Dig Bala position it not only supports the angle, but Its goal is supported as well.

Planets and Dig Bala

The Dig Bala positions for each planet are as follows:

First house Dig Bala — Mercury and Jupiter
Fourth house Dig Bala — Venus and the moon
Seventh house Dig Bala — Saturn
10th house Dig Bala — Mars and the sun

Let’s examine this a little further. To simplify things we will assume a natal chart is being used as an example.

First house Dig Bala — Mercury and Jupiter. The first house is the area of life lived through the body, in real time. It shows our experiences and the actions we take. Both Mercury and Jupiter are planets of intelligence, the mind. Mercury Jupiter rule the four dual/mutable astrology signs (Gemini, Virgo, Sagittarius, Pisces — using traditional rulers). As ruling these dual signs, both Mercury and Jupiter are planets that allow us to make adjustments when unexpected things come our way.

Mercury is a planet of flexibility, curiosity, playfulness and neutrality. These traits are very important in life where we must adjust, accommodate and be flexible. Having a good sense of humor and the ability to laugh at it all is quite a good trait in the day to day, moment to moment real life of the first house. This moment to moment experience of the body is related to things such as our diet, our habits and the capacity to make adjustments and be flexible. Also the ability to communicate and interact with people is important. Mercury is the communicator. The neutral, intelligent and curious nature of Mercury facilitates First house goals perfectly. Also, the freedom and autonomy of the first house allows his skills to become manifest through form. Mercury is compared to Lord Vishnu, the maintainer and manifester of the universe.

Jupiter is a planet of optimism, hope, graciousness and the bigger picture. These traits help us overcome the unexpected setbacks in life. The optimism and hope that eventually everything will work out exactly how it’s supposed to is a wonderful trait to have as we go through life in real time. Jupiter is the planet of sound judgment and the awareness of right and wrong. This is very important when we have to make decisions based on ethics, values and principles. It is best when our sense of morality, judgment and values come from within ourselves and feel under control by our own power, rather than from others. Jupiter is also related to teachings and learning from life’s experiences. The greatest teacher in life is our experiences and thoughts Jupiter in the first house allows a person to learn through their experiences. This not only facilitates the goal of the first house it also facilitates the goal of Jupiter, the Guru.

Fourth house Dig Bala — Venus and the moon. Fourth house is where we wish to go inside our own hearts in order to feel good and connect to the deepest part of our psyche that is beyond anything in the world. It is that internal sanctuary within. Both the moon and Venus are planets of comfort and feeling. These are the two female planets that also share the goal of bringing comfort, peace and happiness to our heart.

Moon is the main planet of peace and emotional comfort. It shows our intuition, that area of our psyche that maintains the delicate balance between our body (ascendant) and our soul (Sun). Whatever experiences we are taking in through the body, if they are not leading us toward our highest soul’s purpose, the moon lets us know by generating a feeling that we either listen to or ignore. If we are disconnected from our heart the moon is more likely to generate painful emotional longings and cravings, not pure feelings that we trust. A fourth house moon is anchored in that deepest and quietest part of who we are, supported by and supporting that area of life.

Venus is the main planet of beauty, order and harmonious interactions with other people. All of these things support the deeper goal of the fourth house which is peace of mind. When our personal relationships unfold in a loving way and we manage our desires effectively, the things we have in our life do not disturb our peace of mind. The willingness to compromise with others is another big lesson of Venus. Skill in this area supports our emotional well-being. The fourth house elevates the nature of Venus by allowing our desires to flow from a place of emotional depth, sensitivity and intuition. When the things we desire are coming from a selfish perspective or one not connected to our heart, we suffer greatly. Happiness (Venus) that flows from our heart (fourth house) leads to peace and love.

Having experienced personal and professional losses within a relatively short period of time, the world as I had known it went inside out and upside down. Functioning was moment-to-moment. Anything more would have been too much to ask.

I once read that the miracle of coming through shattering adversity, by grace as much as anything, is that somehow one does eventually regain their center – most likely with an added dimension of wisdom and empathy for others. As is said, you can’t really understand another person unless you’ve “walked the walk.”

Whatever heartache or despair you may be experiencing, imagine a steadying presence and gentle arm around you. This presence is reminding you to be kind to yourself and go slow. From the expanded perspective of All That Is, the present moment is all that exists. Rather than resist what has happened, let this moment be what it is, where it is.

When losses and related grief come into your life, it often brings up many old issues. If you are feeling intense emotions, allow yourself to be with them. While they may feel at times as if they’ll swallow you up, they won’t. You’re stronger than that. When you allow yourself to fully feel the emotions, they will lessen and fade. Slow, deep breathing will help move emotional energy through you. Doing this several times, or as it feels comfortable, will help you calm yourself.

Know that the Intelligence that is within you will guide you forward in a way that is right for you. This may be through bringing just the right person into your life to help you along, messages that speak to you such as this article, or something you notice in your everyday life.

The nature of the universe is love and growth, therefore change. Circumstances have ultimately come to you for the purpose of your own evolution. While it may be very painful to experience the conditions that bring about change, know that growth requires exchanging old ways of being for the new.

When you are able, ask yourself what you are learning from your experience. When you can begin to answer this, you will be well on your way to moving beyond current difficulties and obstacles.

Remember:

• Be gentle and patient with yourself and go slow

• Don’t resist what is happening

• Allow yourself to fully feel your emotions, whatever they may be

• Breathe

• Become aware of the ways you are being helped

• Be patient with your progress

• Consider talking or listening with others in a support group

• As time passes, reflect on the wisdom you have gained

When working through what is versus what was, know that one day it will naturally occur to you that you are reflecting on your past experience from a viewpoint of new-found wisdom and inner strength.

Copyright ©2011 Catherine Lenard/Catherine Lenard Unlimited. All rights reserved worldwide.

In a photography book I was reading yesterday I read that we have 1,440 moments each day at our disposal. This following quote was taken from that book, “Today, be aware of how you are spending your 1,440 beautiful moments and spend them wisely.” It is quoted but has an unknown source…apparently the person was too busy with the thought of their moments to put their name to what may be quoted in the future.

I have to agree with the number part of that statement and do understand the meaning of “paying attention” to what we do with our time, but find it interesting because so much of our time is not under our control, is it?

If we sleep 8 hours a night (which most of us don’t but I am just using it as an example) then 480 moments of the 1,440 moments in a day are gone…right off the top…just like a puff of smoke! Now, you only have 960 moments in your day to be pressured about. Ahhh! Doesn’t that feel better?

Then we have the moments in the day that someone else needs us to help them with something…be it a child or adult. On average, that is about 2 hours, so there goes another 120 moments of your day.

Then you have another 40 moments of exercise and 10 minutes to squeeze yourself into those exercise clothes and 15 minutes to take them off after they are all sweaty…there goes that time too! Don’t forget the shower again…another 15 minutes out of your day and then to dry your hair, 10 more minutes, clean out the locker and pack your dirty clothes away…another 10 minutes to get to the car…down to 745 moments.

Then, checking for messages on email and/or your phone can be a large chunk of your day…say 3 hours…565…oh, and eating takes up another 2 hours out of your precious moments because you have to either shop for the ingredients or wait for it to be served to you at a restaurant…down to 445 moments.

Then we have to include the 2 hours of drive time to get to work and home in the traffic…down to 325…then our conversation on the phone or in person take another 2 hours during our waking hours…down to 205 now. We also waste…I mean use about 30 minutes for daydreaming.

Oh darn, you just remembered Johnny has a practice game tonight, so there goes another 2 hours of your day just getting everyone there on time and watching the practice.

You return home and have to sort the mail, pay the bills, and supervise bath time…down to 10 minutes and that is all yours! Whew! Don’t you feel better knowing you spent your time wisely and still had time left over for you? Aren’t you glad you paid attention to your moments?????