I Caught My Girlfriend Cheating – What Should I Do Next?

If you’re one of the many men around the world who has “caught my girlfriend cheating” you might be feeling so many things at once that you have no idea what to do. Knowing that you are not alone probably doesn’t help much either. The problem is that you probably want to do a lot of things at once and have no idea where to begin.

This is one of those times in life when reason wars with instinct. On the one hand you want to chew through metal, bend trees with your bear hands, and just hit something (OK let’s be honest, you want to hit someone – and that someone has had his hands on your girl, right?).

The problem is that you can’t do any of those things no matter how tempting they may be. Your sense of reason is telling you that but instinct has been the driving force among humans for at least a thousand or two years longer than reason has. In other words, it’s a hard sell when you’ve been hurt, you’re angry, and your pride has taken a beating (even though you didn’t even know you were in the fight).

Now is the time you need to step back, take long and deep breathes, and really figure out how you feel about your girlfriend, your relationship, and her cheating. These are all important details that will help you decide where to go from here.

The first thing most people need to do at a time like this is take a relationship time-out. It’s a much needed break where you can pull it together, get advice from the coach, take stock of the situation, and draw up a game plan for victory. You can set a time limit on your “time out” or have it open ended. You both need this time apart though to see what life is like on your own and how much a part of your lives the other person has become.

A cheating girlfriend is a hard blow for you to take. It probably didn’t instantly alter your love for your girlfriend but it can, and probably did, change how you feel about her to some degree. The problem you now face is figuring out what those changes in the way you feel impact your future together. And, you have to do that before you decide to give things another try. If you aren’t ready to go back to the beginning and start over then it might be too soon to give your girlfriend another chance.

My Husband Still Works With the Woman He Had an Affair With

I get a lot of emails from wives trying to heal themselves and their marriages after an affair. There are many common roadblocks or places where we tend to get “stuck” and unable to move on. One very common one that I’m seeing with a lot more frequency is a situation where both parties are wanting to save the marriage, but the husband still works with the woman that he had the affair with. This is a difficult situation on so many levels because it is a constant reminder of the affair and constant contact with someone that you don’t want your husband any where near. This article will discuss how I believe that you should best handle this situation.

The Best Case Scenario When Your Husbands Works With His Former Mistress: If I had my way, I’d like for the husband to get another job pronto. No good can come out of him working with the woman he cheated on you with. Even if he is fully committed and determined to save your marriage, it’s not healthy for him to have to see her (and even interact with her) on a daily basis. This is difficult for you too, because the doubts and insecurities that you already have are only going to be multiplied knowing that he’s seeing her every day.

I realize that in today’s economy it can be hard to just walk away from a job. I understand that your husband can’t do that and still be a responsible family provider. But, perhaps he can ask for a transfer out of her department or he can apply for openings in other divisions of the company. At the very least, he should take some concrete action to get out of there, whether this is sending out resumes for other companies or applying wherever he can within the same company (where he doesn’t have direct contact with her.)

No matter what he does, it’s very important that you know that he’s making a continuous effort to limit and end his contact with her. Many companies have very strict policies about fraternizing among co workers, not to mention sexual harassment issues and policies. So, it’s vitally important (for so many reasons) that your husband distance himself from this situation as soon as possible.

What If He Can’t Leave His Job And Must Work With The Other Woman?: I realize that sometimes there are going to be situations where your husband just can’t get out of working with her (at least for a while.) Finding a new job or transferring within a company takes time. So, there may be a period of time where he is stuck until he can make a move to get out of there.

Still, it’s so important that he make very clear that the relationship is going to be a very limited working one only (and very hopefully for a short time, at that.) He needs to make it very clear to her that the contact is going to be extremely limited and on a professional basis. It’s best for him to be very brief with this message, simply stating what needs to be said and removing himself from her and the situation. He must be very convincing about this, avoiding eye or physical contact. This meeting should be very brief and matter of fact. This should be the last time that they really need to talk this over. In the future, he should communicate with her via email, fax or brief communication about professional matters only. (Written communication also protects your husband from any allegations – there is a written record of brief, professional exchanges only.) Face to face contact between them should be limited.

Many husbands will tell me “but dealing with her is part of my job,” or “I’m required to work closely with her,” or “we’re partners, there’s no getting around it.” Well, the truth is sometimes difficult choices must be made. Your marriage can not fully heal if you’re constantly confronted with this woman and your wife constantly has to worry about her. You must distance yourself through whatever means possible. Your first choice should be to get a new job and you must keep pursuing this until you reach this goal. Until that time, your wife should see you doing everything that you possibly can to limit contact with this woman. If communicating in the work place is a necessary evil (only for now) make sure that you are responsible and severely limit both the tone and time of your contact.

Get Your Husband Back After He Has Cheated – Sizzlin’ Sexy Seduction Tips That Will Rock His World

When you first find out your husband has cheated you might be interested at all in ways to get your husband back. In fact, it might take quite a while for the hurt and anger to die down enough for that little voice in the back of your heart to be heard loud and clear.

What’s that voice saying? Get him back. Get him back now. You might think that far too much time has passed or that there is too much water flowing beneath that bridge.

But, what if he’s sitting at home alone wondering what you’re doing and trying to work up the nerve to ask you for a second chance? Some marriages are just meant to be. Maybe yours is one of those.

Don’t you feel like you owe it to your marriage to see? You may have tried a few maneuvers in the past but you’ve probably never tried anything like this before.

Sex Sells for Most Men

There is a reason there are scantily clad women draped over the hoods of expensive sports cars and motorbikes. There is also a reason that most of the owners of these items are men. Sex sells for the average man. If you want to get his attention, this is the way to go-but only so far.

1) Make him eat his heart out. You know the look he likes for you. You know how to bring your “A” game to the table. This is the man you were married to after all. You know him better than anyone else. This means you know the very things that make him go weak in the knees. Become the eye candy that will knock his socks off. Let him see you dressed in a way that he likes. Let him know that you dressed for him.

2) Make him understand that he can look, but now is not the time for touching. He’ll appreciate and be frustrated by your restraint but a new level of respect will be achieved if you stick to your guns.

3) Make promises for later that you do intend to keep. When the time comes that you are the only woman on his mind (and on his mind all the time) you can make good on those promises, hints, and insinuations. You better make good on them unless you want to be back in the same boat you started in. The point of this exercise is to build up suspense.

4) Understand that sex alone will never save a relationship but it sure doesn’t hurt when the ultimate goal is to get his attention.

Valentine’s Day, the Perfect Opportunity to Get Back With Your Ex

If you have just recently went through a break up with your boyfriend/girlfriend, and you want to make up and get back together. There couldn’t be a better time than Valentine’s day to make that happen. Valentines Day is one of the most popular day’s of the year for couples to get back together after a break up. So why do so many couples get back together on Valentine’s Day?

The answer is simple really, unlike all the other holiday’s Christmas, Thanksgiving, Easter.etc. that are traditionally spent with family and friends. Valentine’s Day is traditionally set aside specifically for lover’s. So this offer’s the perfect opportunity for someone wanting to get back together with an ex lover. This is a time when your ex is missing you as much as your are missing them. And even more so if the break up has happened within the last couple of months.

Your ex is not going to fall back into your arms simply because it’s Valentine’s Day. But with some predetermined planning, it will offer a window of opportunity to begin a process that will help in rectifying the circumstances that led to your break up. There are some things to consider before you start you quest to get back together with your ex, and we’ll get to those in just a moment. But first you are going to have to get together with your ex on Valentine’s Day before you can start the process, right? So how are you going to do that? Try this.

Call your ex a day or two before Valentine’s Day and say something like this: “Hi ______ You know Valentine’s Day is coming up, and I was hoping we could put are differences aside for the a day and spend a little time together”. Then shut up, don’t rattle on and sound desperate. If you have been following my articles, you should get a positive response, because you haven’t been calling constantly, you haven’t been stalking them, and you have a good reason for calling. If you haven’t been bothering them, then your ex is thinking about you also, and is probably expecting to hear from you and may even be hoping to.

Be prepared to offer suggestions for the date that would not make your ex feel like their being trapped into being alone with you, like dinner at your place. Dinner at a casual restaurant will make them feel less pressured. Bring a gift, but don’t give it to them right away, stay away from gifts that are too romantic or shows a desperate attempt to impress them. Choose a gift that is simple but shows that you are in tune with their interests. If your ex enjoys reading a new release book would be a good gift, or if they are into video games, the newest game would be a good gift. Just remember to keep it simple and something that they are interested in.

Keep your conversation casual, and at no point bring up the subject of the break up. You don’t want to remind them why the two of you broke up. Try to stay away from any subject that can somehow be associated with the break up. Instead talk about what’s currently going on in each others life’s, treat it as a first date without any open expectations. If your ex does happen to bring up the subject of the break up be prepared to discuss it but only if they bring it up. If the break up was your fault show your ex that you have gone back through the events that led to the break up and that you have a clear understanding of what he/she was upset about. If the break up was over something your ex did, do the exact same thing, your ex may not realize that he/she did anything wrong.

After dinner if your ex suggest to continue the date, accept, but do not make that suggestion yourself. At the end of the date tell your ex that you had a good time and you hope you can do it again. If you’ve made it this far you have completed a major step in getting back together with your ex. Don’t blow it now, give your ex some time to digest the time they just spent with you. Don’t call them right away, wait for another good reason to spend some time together. Unless of course your ex calls you. Or has specifically asked you to call.

Remember just because it’s Valentine’s Day doesn’t mean your ex is magically fall back into your arms. It’s just the perfect opportunity for you to begin the make up process. Be patient not pushy.

The McFarland/Richardson Murder Case

She was a famous New York City stage actress named Abby Sage. But after her ex-husband Daniel McFarland killed her lover, journalist Albert Richardson on November 25, 1869 at Richardson’s place of work at the New York Tribune, it was Sage’s lifestyle that was put on trail, not just McFarland.

Daniel McFarland was born in Ireland in 1820, but he emigrated to American with his parents when he was four-years-old. McFarland’s parents died when he was 12, leaving him an orphan. Determined to make something of himself in America, McFarland worked at hard labor in a harness shop, saving his money so that he could attend college. By the time he was 17, McFarland had saved enough cash he was able to attend the distinguish Ivy League university – Dartmouth. At Dartmouth, McFarland studied law and did extremely well. Upon graduation, McFarland passed the bar exam, but instead of practicing law, McFarland took a position at Brandywine College, teaching elocution — the skill of clear and expressive speech.

In 1853, McFarland traveled to Manchester, New Hampshire, where he met a very beautiful 15-year-old girl named Abby Sage. Abby came from a poor but respectable family – her father was a weaver – but Abby was quite bright, and soon she became a teacher, as well as as a published writer. Four years after they had met, McFarland and Abey Sage married. She was just 19, and he was double her age.

Later Abby wrote in an affidavit concerning McFarland’s murder trial, “At the time of our marriage, Mr. McFarland represented to me that he had a flourishing law practice, brilliant political prospects, and property worth $30,000, but while on our bridal tour he was forced to borrow money in New York to enable us to proceed to Madison, Wisc., which was decided upon as our future home. We had resided in this town but a short time when he confessed that he had no law practice of any consequence, and that he had devoted himself solely to land speculation, some of which had resulted disastrously.”

In February 1858, the McFarlands moved to New York City. McFarland told Abby that in New York City, he had a better chance of selling $20,000 to $30,000 worth of property he owned in Wisconsin. However, McFarland sold nothing at first, and soon Abby had to pawn most of her jewelry to pay the rent. With the bills piling up and still no money coming in, McFarland figured it was better he went at it alone. As a result, McFarland sent Abby back to her father’s home in New Hampshire. In late 1858, McFarland was finally able to sell some of his Wisconsin properties. Soon after, he brought Abby back to New York and they settled in a rented cottage in Brooklyn. There their first son Percy was born in 1860, and a second son Daniel was born in 1864.

McFarland’s land-selling business went flat and he started drinking heavily. Abby later wrote, “At first Mr. McFarland professed for me the most extravagant and passionate devotion, but soon he began to drink heavily, and before we were married a year, his breath and body were steaming with vile liquor. I implored him to reform, but he cried out: ‘My brain is on fire and liquor makes me sleep.'”

At the start of the Civil War, the McFarlands briefly returned to Madison, Wisconsin. Soon McFarland realized, under the right circumstances and with some training, his beautiful, young wife would be the better earner of the two. To implement his plan, the McFarlands traveled back to New York City in order to school Abby to become an actress.

In New York City, Abby tired her hand at dramatic readings, and she discovered she had a talent for the stage. One thing led to another, and soon Abby was acting in several plays and making the tidy sum of $25 a week. Abby’s career advanced so quickly, soon she appeared opposite the great actor Edwin Booth in the Merchant of Venice (Edwin Booth was the older brother of John Wilkes Booth, the man who shot and killed Abraham Lincoln). Abby also supplement her income by writing several articles about children and nature. She even penned a book of poetry entitled Percy’s Book of Rhymes after her son Percy.

Abby’s artistic achievements allowed her to increase her circle of friends. She became fast pals with newspaper magnate Horace Greeley, his sister Mrs. John Cleveland, and New York Tribune publisher Samuel Sinclair and his wife.

However, his wife’s successes did nothing to placate the wild nature of McFarland. He used his wife’s new friends and their connection to get himself a political appointment. Abby later said, “Through the influence of Horace Greeley, founder of the New York Tribune, I procured a position for him (McFarland) with one of the Provost marshals.”

Soon McFarland became jealous of Abby’s new friends, and his drinking increased exponentially. McFarland kept the money Abby made from her acting and writing, and spent it all on booze. McFarland started opening Abby’s private mail, and if he didn’t like what he read, he would threaten to kill Abby and himself.

“By this time he had become a demon,” Abby said. “He would rise in bed, tear the bed clothing into shreds and threaten to kill me. When he became exhausted, he would tearfully beg my pardon and go to sleep.”

One time McFarland became so enraged, he struck Abby in the face, so hard, it caused her to stumble backwards. From that point on, their relationship changed dramatically.

“There was a look in his eyes that made him burst into a paroxysm of tears and to beg wildly that I should forgive him,” Abby said. “But from that moment, I could never tell him that I loved him or forgave him, because it would not have been the truth.”

In January 1867, the McFarlands moved into a boarding house at 72 Amity Street in New York City. Soon after, Albert Deane Richardson, who was in his mid-thirties at the time, moved into the same boarding house. Richardson was already known to Abby, since they had met at the home of Mr. and Mrs. Sinclair. Richardson had an orange-colored beard and hazel eyes, and was considered to be a very distinguished-looking individual of the highest character.

Richardson, born in Massachusetts, was one of the most famous reporters of his time. He was well known for his writings as a war correspondent for the New York Tribune during the Civil War, and he also spent time acting as a spy for the North. In 1862, Richardson was captured by the South at Vicksburg, and he spent a year and a half in two separate Confederate prisons. In December 1863, while imprisoned in Salisbury, North Carolina, Richardson and another war correspondent escaped from prison and traveled four hundred miles on foot, until they reached the Union Lines in Knoxville. At the time of his imprisonment, Richardson had a wife and four children. When he returned home, he discovered his wife and infant daughter had died. Richardson assumed the support and care for the three other children, which at the time of his death, were thirteen, ten and six.

Back at his desk at the New York Tribune, Richardson capitalized on his Civil War heroics by writing about his escape. The title of his newspaper article was “Out of the Jaws of Death and Out of the Mouth of Hell.” It was considered one of the finest pieces of journalism that came out of Civil War era. Richardson expanded this article into a book, and combined with his other writings, Richardson had transformed himself from a war prisoner into a wealthy man. So much so, Richardson bought shares in the New York Tribune, making himself a minority owner of the newspaper.

At the time he moved into the same boarding house as the McFarlands, Richardson was now an editor/writer for the New York Tribune. (Editor’s note: I was a sports columnist for the reincarnation of the New York Tribune in the 1980’s.) Richardson used his room at 72 Amity Street as an office, as well as a place to sleep. On his staff at 72 Amity Street, Richardson employed a stenographer, an artist, and a messenger boy to deliver his work to the New York Tribune offices downtown on Park Row.

On February 19, 1867, McFarland returned to the boarding house and his found his wife standing outside Richardson’s door. Abby claimed Richardson and her were discussing one of his articles, but McFarland would have none of that.

Abby later wrote, “When we entered our apartment, my husband flew into a rage and insisted that an improper intimacy existed between Mr. Richardson and I.”

McFarland immediately went on a three-day bender, where he again threatened Abby’s life and said he would commit suicide. Finally on February 21, Abby left McFarland for good. She grabbed her two children, and took up residence with Mr. And Mrs. Samuel Sinclair.

At the Sinclairs, Abby summoned her father, who now lived in Massachusetts, and apprised him of the situation. It was agreed upon that McFarland should be invited to the Sinclair residence, and in the presence of the Sinclairs and her father, Abby told McFarland that their marriage was over.

That same evening Richardson called at the Sinclair residence. Richardson offered Abby his condolences and said he would do anything he could do to help her in her time of need. Then as he was leaving, Abby followed him out to the hallway.

With tears in her eyes she said: “You have been very kind to me. I cannot repay you.”

Referring to Abby’s two children, Richardson said, “How do you feel about facing the world with two babies?”

She answered, “It looks hard for a woman, but I am sure I can get on better without that man than with him.”

Before leaving, Richards told Abby, “I wish you to remember, that any responsibility you choose to give me in any possible future, I shall be glad to take.”

Two days later, Richardson asked Abby to marry him, telling her that he wanted to give her his motherless children for her to care for as she would her own.

Abby later said, “It was absolutely impossible for me not to love him.”

On the night of March 13, 1867, Richardson met Abby at the theater where she had just finished a performance. Just as they turned a corner, McFarland rushed up behind them and fired three shots; one of which pierced Richardson’s thigh. It was a superficial wound and Richardson was not badly hurt. McFarland was arrested by the police, but due to some inexplicable courthouse dealings, McFarland somehow managed to escape jail time.

When it was obvious to McFarland that his wife was lost to him forever, he decided to sue to get custody of both their children. The courts came to a split decision, whereby Abby would get custody of Daniel, and McFarland — custody of Percy. In April 1868, Abby attempted to see her son Percy, but she was denied doing so by McFarland, who flew into a rage and threatened to hit her. At this point, Abby had no choice but to file for divorce.

In the state of New York, the only grounds for divorce was adultery. So in July of 1868, Abby decided to go to Indiana for her divorce, where the grounds for divorce was more extensive. Those grounds included drunkenness, extreme cruelty, and failure to support a wife. Abby stayed in Indiana for 16 months until her divorce from McFarland was final. Then Abby traveled to her family’s home in Massachusetts, and Richardson met her there to spend Thanksgiving Day 1869 with her and her family.

On November 25, 1869, at 5:15 p.m., McFarland walked into the Park Row offices of the New York Tribune. He hid quietly in a corner for about 15 minutes until he saw Richardson enter though the side entrance on Spruce Street. While Richardson was reading his mail at the counter, McFarland rushed up to him and fired several shots. Richardson was hit three times, but he was still able to walk up two flights of stairs to the editorial office, where he flung himself on the couch, mortally wounded with a bullet in the chest. When the medics arrived, Richardson was carried across City Hall to the Astor House, and laid down on a bed in room 115.

At 10 p.m., McFarland was arrested in room 31 of the Westmoreland Hotel, on the corner of Seventeenth Street and Fourth Avenue. The arresting officer, Captain A. J. Allaire, told McFarland he was under arrested for the shooting of Richardson. At first, McFarland said he was innocent of the charges. Then he shockingly said, “It must have been me.”

Captain Allaire took McFarland into custody and brought him to the Astor House, room 115. After Captain Allaire asked Richardson if the man in front of him had been his attacker, Richardson rose his head off the pillow weakly and said, “That is the man!’

Abby Sage was immediately summoned to New York City. As soon as she arrived, at Richardson’s request, arrangements were made by Horace Greeley so that the Abby and Richardson could be married at Richardson’s deathbed. The marriage ceremony was performed by Rev. Henry Ward Beecher and the Rev. O.B. Frothingham. Three days later on December 2, Richardson took his last breath, leaving Abby Richardson a widow.

Before McFarland’s trial, his defense attorney John Graham told the New York press that Abby Sage’s intentions towards Mr. Richardson were anything but honorable. Graham said, “This tender and touching marriage was a horrible and disgraceful ceremony to get the property of a dying man, and that tended to hasten his demise.”

At first, Richardson’s fellow New York City journalists defended the honor of Richardson, and they began delving into McFarland’s life, trying to find anything that would discredit McFarland. The New York Tribune wrote that McFarland was in “the habit of opium eating to for the purpose of drowning his sorrows.”

However, the New York Sun went on a campaign to discredit both Abby and Richardson. In an editorial entitled “A Public Outrage on Religion and Decency” The Sun accused Richardson of luring Abby away from her loving husband. The Sun even dredged up a quote from McFarland’s brother who said, “Abby went reading just to get a chance to paint her face, pass for beauty, and get in with that free-love tribe at Sam Sinclair’s.”

What followed was a battle in the press where most of the New York City dailies opined that it was Richardson and Abby who were immoral, and that McFarland did the honorable thing in killing the man who had stolen his wife away from him.

McFarland’s trial commenced on April 4, 1820. Since she knew her husband’s defense lawyer was on a mission to disgrace and discredit her, Abby stood away from the trial. Yet Graham sought to secure sympathy from the jury towards his client by having McFarland’s son Percy sitting next to him during the trial.

In his opening argument, Graham implored the jury to understand the mental anguish his client had been forced to endure. Graham said, “So sensitive and tender was the defendant’s mental organization that he was incapable of grappling with and bearing the deep sorrows and misfortune that awaited him. His speculations were disastrous and that the seeds of dissatisfaction first began to be sown.”

Then Graham got to the main thrust of his defense, when he attacked the virtue and honor of Abby. “When she first met my client, she was but a poor factory girl. Yet on one occasion she told my client, ‘All I need to make me an elegant lady and popular with the elite of New York is money.'”

Then Graham told the jury that the turning point in his client’s life came on February 21, 1867, when McFarland arrived home at 3 p.m. and saw his wife exiting Richardson’s room.

“This beautiful woman was completely corrupted,” Graham said. “She had placed before her as temptations the honors of the stage and the society of great men. She was then too elegant and too popular for her humble lot, and the demon that placed her before all these temptations for which she must pay the price with her soul was Richardson”

Graham pointed out the boiling point for his client had been reached one day when McFarland went to the office of the New York Tribune. There he was given a letter by an office boy that was addressed to “Mrs. McFarland.” The boy had mistakenly thought the letter was addressed to “Mr. McFarland.”

Graham told the jury, “My client opened the letter, peruses it and finds it is a love letter written by Richardson, who was in Boston, to Mrs. McFarland. In this letter, Richardson openly claims his intentions to marry this woman if she can obtain a divorce from Mr. McFarland.”

During the trial, the prosecutors, led by former judge and then-congressman Noah Davis, concentrated on how McFarland, during his marriage, had mistreated his wife, and on occasions beat her. To back up these claims, the prosecution called in Abby’s relatives and friends, including a man of great clout – Horace Greeley.

However, Greeley was no fan of the corrupt Democratic machine Tammany Hall, whom Greeley excoriated many times in his newspaper. As payback, Tammany Hall used their considerable influence, before and during the trial, to discredit Greeley, and Abby.

At his final summation to the jury which took two days, Graham tried to sway the jury into thinking his client was just the victim of unbearable consequences.

“The evidence proves the insanity under which the defendant was laboring at the time of the shooting,” Graham said. “This was a condition of mind superinduced by the agony he endured at the thought of the loss of his home, his wife, and his children.”

The jury bought Graham’s incredible defense like a mark buys into a three-card-monte game. On May 10, it took them only one hour and fifty-five minutes to return a verdict of not-guilty on the grounds of insanity.

Although she was deeply despondent, after the trial, Abby Sage Richardson steadfastly remained in New York City. She became a successful author and playwright, and was well received in both the literary and social communities. She also edited and published a book of Richardson’s unpublished work.

Abby also kept her promise to the dying Richardson that she would raise his three children as her own. She also raised her son Daniel, whose name was changed to Willie (not to be associated with his father Daniel McFarland). Abby’s other son Percy left McFarland and returned to his mother. He changed his surname from McFarland to his mother’s maiden name of Sage.

On December 5, 1900, Abby Sage Richardson died in Rome of pneumonia.

Daniel McFarland traveled out west in 1880. He was last heard from in Colorado, and there is no recorded account of his death. However, according to historian Edmund Pearson, “It did not take him long to drink himself to death.”

Albert Richardson was buried in his home town of Franklin, Massachusetts. Prominently displayed in Franklin is a monument to Richardson’s heroics in the Civil War. The inscription on the monument reads: “Many give thee thanks who never knew thy face, so, then, farewell, kind heart and true.”

Play The Waiting Game And Make Your Ex Fall In Love With You Again!

Any suggestions you try now to make your ex fall in love with you again will fall on deaf ears. Your ex is not interested in hearing how much you love him/her now. Your ex won’t believe what you say in any case – not after the awful things you said to him/her just before the break up.

The only way that you are going to change your ex’s way of thinking about you is to leave him/her entirely alone for now. Even though you didn’t meant the things you said to your ex, you DID say them, and they dug deep. Those things gave your ex a very different impression as to your feelings and thoughts about him/her.

For you to make your ex fall in love with you again, you are going to have to somehow convince your ex that you didn’t mean those things – that they were only said in the heat of the moment. These things are still too fresh in your ex’s mind right now, so there is no way that you are going to convince your ex that they should not have been said.

In retaliation, your ex also said nasty things to you as well, right? So, this means that you are feeling just as hurt and angry as your ex. Now, the only thing that is going to solve this problem is if you both have enough time to heal inside. Only then will you be able to do things to make your ex fall in love with you again.

The best thing that you can do right now is to just leave your ex entirely alone. You need time away from each other to heal after the nasty things you said to each other. When you are not feeling so pained, and are not so angry at your ex anymore, then go ahead, because you will be able to do things to make your ex fall in love with you again.

To make your ex fall in love with you again, you need to do things that will make you attractive to your ex again. Simply carry on with your life and be the best person you can be. Your friends will tell your ex everything about you. If all the things that your ex hears are really good, it is bound to make your ex fall in love with you again.

Crazy Celebrity Tattoos

There is no doubt about it some people just do not think at all when they get a tattoo. This can also be said for several celebrities. Some celebrities will just get a tattoo for the sake of getting a tattoo, others get them while, drunk or high on drugs, which is never a good combination when getting a tattoo. One may wonder if the following celebrities were under some of those conditions when they got their now famous ink.

Below is a list of some of your favorite celebrities and their interesting tattoos:

*Melanie Griffith- yellow pear tattoo on her butt

*Bill Murray- has a cartoon duck on his shoulder

*David Beckham- has “Vihctoria” tattooed on his arm. It is misspelled because is actually written in Hindi. He thought it would be “tacky” to have it written in English

*David Spade- a tattoo of Calvin, of Calvin and Hobbes, which was done by actor Sean Penn

*Geena Davis- has the Denny’s logo on ankle (reportedly to cover up her ex-husband’s name, Renny)

*Steve-O- has a huge portrait of himself covering his whole back that read “Yeah Dude, I rock! Steve-O”

*Janet Jackson- has a tattoo of Minnie Mouse giving Mickey Mouse a BJ on her hip.

*Mike Tyson-tribal design on his face

*Jamie Foxx-has a tribal design on the back of his head.

* Amy Winehouse-bare chested pin up girl on her forearm

* Eva Longoria-has “Nine” tattooed on the back of her neck to represent husband Tony Parker’s basketball number.

*Johnny Depp-Has the famous Wino Forever tattooed on his arm.

*Kelly Clarkson- outline of the state of Texas on her hip.

*Gavin Rossdale- has his dog’s name, Winston, on his wrist.

*Brad Pitt-has several lines tattooed on his back.

Your Tattoo Friend

Ashley

Getting Back Together After Separation – A New Start

You realize after breaking off with your spouse, you still have feelings for your ex. You start to wonder if getting back together after separation is still possible. If you have made a choice to win back your ex, you should let go of the past and find out the best ways to get back together.

I would assume that this period of separation has given you enough time to analyze the problems in the relationship. Getting back together after separation will also need an efficient plan for a new start and make sure that the old problems that led to separation are totally eliminated.

Show your ex that you have changed

You cannot expect your ex to get back together with you if the problems still exist. Just by telling him or her you have changed is not enough. Prove to your ex on the positive changes that you have made for patching up the relationship.

Keep the communication lines open

Be precise and honest when communicating with your ex. This will help to let your ex understand what you want and also develop back the close bonding in the relationship. When your ex is starting to feel a difference in the communication, this can possibly lead to getting back together after the separation again.

Listen, care and share

When couples quarrel in a relationship, they tend not to listen and ignore. Patching back a relationship will need you to be a great listener. Be patient to listen to their worries, be there to care and share your advice. Rebuild their trust and confidence in you again.

Most importantly, there are many ways in getting back together after separation. Your effort put in can help to win back your ex.

Do You Believe Somaly Mam?

Every story has at least three or four sides, with varying accounts and versions.

As Somaly Mam tries to rebuild her foundation in Cambodia, it is time to listen to another voice, that of her ex-husband, Pierre Legros. He was the cofounder of Acting for Women in Distressing Situations (AFESIP) in 1996 and the former director of AFESIP International.

Mam and Legros were together for 15 years, 13 of them legally married. According to Legros, “I’m the only person on earth who really knows most of the story. I want to say the truth and stop the lies. I also want to stop her using Nieng – my adopted daughter – as part of her campaign to make a comeback.”

The current situation

Pierre Legros sits back in his chair at a restaurant in Phnom Penh. “First of all, I’m not against Somaly. We had some good years together, we have two biological children and an adopted daughter. Unfortunately, I’m not allowed to see my 12-year old son, Nicolai. We split in 2004 when I was dismissed from AFESIP, but didn’t divorce until 2006. She then went on to set up The Somaly Mam Foundation in the United States in 2007.”

He shrugs his shoulders, “So what if she told some lies. Everyone in Asia lies and it is part of the social behavior.”

“Take her name for example. I knew her as Viriya or Aya, her mother named her Someny And now she is Somaly Mam. Who cares?”

“I do not want to destroy her reputation – as she did some good work and I’m proud of her. But people also need to know that there are allegations from Spain that she took a lot of donations that were intended for the foundation and it ended up for her personal use.

“The reason I stress this is because AFESIP was a group of local NGOs I setup all around Europe and Asia. AFESIP Spain became one of the most efficient in terms of activities in Madrid – protesting against trafficking – and all around Spain, for sensitization-advocacy. Then AFESIP Spain facilitated the fund-raising with foundation and the Spanish government, specifically the Ministry of Foreign Affairs. They investigated and found some issues about whether Somaly committed financial fraud.”

“Her salary in 2011 was $125,642, which is a fortune in Cambodia.”

“The For Sale sign on the villa is to convince people that she is poor. It is not true. Then they will donate more money. The problem is that people in America believe whatever they are told and they don’t do their fact-checking properly. That may change now that questions of financial fraud about the former AFESIP Madrid office were raised in Spain.”

The beginnings of the icon

“Yes, Somaly was a prostitute when I met her. Then we fell in love and all of that changed.”

“UNICEF started to donate money and we set up a center to help girls and women who had been trafficked into the sex industry. We all need to dream. I considered my destiny to help other people. It is what I was – and still am – committed to doing.”

“I was the director and organizer behind the operation, the person in the shadows, really. I knew the direction we needed to go. So I took risks and encouraged Somaly to develop her freedom and to escape from her from cultural dictates. I know that if you feed a woman what she needs you will create a superwoman. And that is what happened: she became an icon. Because, really, she is also very smart, more so than me.”

“Somaly was the face of the operation, the spokesperson, the marketing machine. It was her personality that was at work. She told her story – and other accounts of girls and women being trafficked so well – that money started to flow into AFESIP.”

Legros went on to comment that after she appeared on television many times and began to get international recognition he suggested that she should write a book. The book was first published in France in 2005, before she set up her foundation in America in 2007. The Road of Lost Innocence became an instant best-seller when it was translated into English.

“I did not tell her what to write. It was her story, not mine. It is interesting, however, that the French and the English versions do not bear any resemblance to each other.”

“After the book, she was invited everywhere and met everyone who counted. The list of her contacts ranges from Oprah, to Hilary Clinton, to the Queen of Spain and politicians from around the world. Of course I encouraged and supported her. She was my wife and the mother of my children. We were already separated, but I pushed her to accept the invitation to open the Special Olympic games in 2005.”

Some personality disorder questions

Starting life in a small village of Kompong Cham province where life was, at best, subsistence, and ending up as an international celebrity is not a journey without its demands and problems.

Legros and an Amerian psychologist who volunteered at AFESIP theorized that as Mam began to increasingly mix and mingle with the rich and famous she moved towards developing a narcissistic personality disorder (NPD). The indications of NPD include a grandiose sense of self-importance and constant demand for attention and admiration. Other traits include exploitation of others and a total lack of empathy.

Legros and the psychologist now suggest that Mam exhibits the full-blown signs of NPD. In the saint-sinner debate he is the first person to raise the question about borderline personality issues.

“Somaly is not happy. She is a depressed woman.” Other accounts from staff at the center verify that she has temper and can be explosive over small incidents.

“The only times I have come out publicly to challenge the lies she told is when she said eight girls at the center had been killed. The second time was when she alleged that our adopted daughter had been gang-raped. In these instances I had to set the record straight.”

What next?

Legros maintains a low profile. “I want this article published in outside Cambodia, because that is where most of Somaly’s supporters are. I think they need to know the truth. Here in Phnom Penh it would be too dangerous. She is very well-connected and knows many high-ranking people in the government, the police, and the army.”

“When we split in 2004, she moved her body-guard into the bedroom. He had a gun and a license to kill. I know I can disappear tomorrow, this is the Kingdom.”

Legros is currently working in Phnom Penh.

He smiles, “Eventually I want to retire on a boat and not have too much contact with other humans. But before I do that, I want to tell the true story of Somaly Mam and how she became an icon. I have the duty to do it without grey area or lies.”

“For me, Somaly is an imposture. But within a corrupt system full of similar people, it is hardly a surprise.”

How to Get Your Husband to Leave the Other Woman

There’s no question that no matter what the circumstances are, an affair is devastating. But, it is even worse when the husband can not seem to tear himself away from the other woman or leave her alone. Very often women contact me and ask “how can I get my husband to leave his girlfriend,” or “how can I get him away from her when he can’t seem to leave her alone.”  Often, wives who want to lure their cheating husbands back resort to manipulative tactics meant to make their husbands feel guilty, ashamed, or jealous, but this often only reads as desperation and paints you in a more negative light.  Men do not often have the moral radar or sense of responsibility that women have, so the tactics which would work for you or I may not work at all on your husband.  In this article, I’ll tell you what I believe is the best way to both get your husband to leave the other women while maintaining your self respect.

Understand That You Probably Can’t Reason With Your Cheating Husband:  Many women request that I give them tips meant to “make my husband understand what the affair is doing to me,” or  “make him see how much the affair is hurting me.” What they don’t understand is that men aren’t rational thinkers, especially when they are in the midst of affair.  As hard as it is to hear, it’s very unlikely that your husband is going to hear what you are saying and respond with, “you know, you’re right.  Let me stop this right now.”  It’s not fair, but it is the way it is.

You are likely not going to be able to change your husband’s thought process right now.  And, you need to understand that it is highly likely that he is having the affair to replace something that is missing within himself.  Notice that I said himself.  Please understand that the flaw is within him, not within you.  Men cheat because they want to feel desirable, young, alive, competent, and vibrant.  And overwhelmingly, this is an emotional need rather than a physical one, despite the common perception.

Know That The Other Woman Can’t Keep Up The Facade Forever:  If you take nothing else from this article, please take this.  The appeal of the other woman often lies in how she makes your husband feel about himself.  It’s not about how she looks  or her age.  It all lies in how she presents the whole low maintenance package. She often does this by taking a light hearted, no strings attached approach.  She doesn’t make demands.  Everything is cool with her.  She’s completely laid back and doesn’t require much.  But, you and I both know that no woman can keep this up forever.  She’s like every woman who puts her best self forward for the first date, but a short time later he’ll be seeing her in knee socks and an old tee shirt and he’s going to wonder why in the world he risked everything for this.  She’s going to start wanting to know where he is or demand more from him and suddenly what was so alluring about this relationship is will be gone in an instant. A recent survey indicated that almost 90% of men are incredibly sorry about their affair, so understand that the odds are overwhelming that your husband will come to regret this woman.

The key for you is to know this and to bide your time with dignity and respect.  Because if you act in a way that is beneath you or is unattractive, then they will both looking at you like the poor wife who got the bum deal. And, unfortunately, this is not an attractive picture and you’re at a distinct disadvantage when this happens.

Turning The Tables: As hard as it may feel at first, you must take care of yourself outside of this whole affair business.  If your husband is acting like a complete idiot, that’s really his problem, not yours.  Put him on the back burner until he realizes his ridiculous mistake and comes crawling back.  Focus on yourself.  See your friends.  Do what you have always wanted to do.  Get yourself a new wardrobe or hairstyle.  Do not wait around on him and make sure he knows this.  But, don’t add another wrong to the situation and cheat yourself.  This is just going to make things worse and make you more confused.

What you are really trying to accomplish is a scenario that plays out just as your husband comes to his senses. And when he glances your way, he sees a confident, graceful, self respecting, attractive woman who is honestly too good for him right now.  Whether she decides to take him back or not is entirely up to her.  But, she’s not going to belittle herself by chasing after him or rewarding his unfortunate behavior. Instead, she’s going to allow him to catch her, if she chooses to do so.

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