In a world where competition is the constant factor, it’s hard to differentiate and build your own identity. It’s difficult, but it is possible to be unique!

Effective differentiation is one of the main challenges many business owners face, because they focus on competing with big companies. Here are four ways to help your business be unique and stand out from the crowd. Each one of these factors has worked well for countless companies. How many of them are part of your current business strategy?

1. Deliver Extraordinary Service

This is what makes the most successful companies unique and different. However, saying isn’t enough. You must deliver an extraordinary service that your customers can’t get anywhere else.

If you want to beat your competitors, don’t focus on being the best; instead, focus on being unique. You can be unique and different if you think about offering extraordinary service to your customers that goes beyond what your competitors are offering.

2. Address Customer Needs

If you want to impress your customers, the best way to do that is to meet their needs and desires. Think about how you can solve common problems for your customers. This’ll help you stand out from the competition.

3. Do Business Differently from Your Competitors

Doing business differently than your competitors will help to be stand out. Find and exploit holes in your competitors’ business strategy; this is the best way to be unique.

Get into the habit of analyzing your competitors regularly. Find out the products/services they offer, how much they sell them for and how they run their company. This information can make your business stand out from the rest. For instance, if a competitor sells a product at a low price, you can lower your price.

Remember, your goal should be to give customers a reason to do business with you and this could be one way to help achieve this goal.

When looking at your competitor’s business strategy, don’t just copy what they have. Instead, focus on their weaknesses and see how you can improve on them. Being innovative will help your business become better and different. How you can do the same thing differently?

4. Give a Powerful Offer or Guarantee

Offers and guarantees are the best ways to reduce the perceived risk of buying your products/services. Removing the reluctance for making a purchase can generate more sales. Also, a guarantee will make your company seem more trustworthy and likable.

For instance, you can make sure you answer every email or social media query within one or two hours. This will improve your responsiveness, and it will give customers more reason to contact you and do business with you.

Innovation is a common characteristic among successful organizations. If your business is innovative and unique, it’ll grow fast. So, if you want to take your business to the next level, focus on being unique, and don’t copy your competitors’ business strategy.

Challenging situations and obstacles are a part of life. When you’re faced with one, focus on the good things no matter how small or seemingly insignificant they seem. If you look at it, you can always find a glimpse of hope even if it’s not immediately obvious.

Spend time with positive people. Negativity and positivity have been shown to be contagious. Consider the people with whom you’re spending time. Being around positive people has been shown to improve self-esteem and increase your chances of reaching goals. Surround yourself with people who will lift you up and help you see the bright side.

Start every day on a positive note. Positive thinking is about more than just being happy or having an upbeat attitude. Positive thoughts can actually create real value in your life and help you build skills that last a lifetime. However, negative emotions narrow your mind and focus your thoughts.

In fact, the biggest benefit of being positive is an enhanced ability to build skills and develop resources for later use in life. Finding ways to build happiness and positive emotions into your life provides more than just a momentary decrease in stress and a few smiles.

Positive thinking isn’t magic and it won’t make all of your problems disappear. The only thing that it can do is to make problems seem more manageable and help you approach hardships in a more positive and productive way.

Trying to be positive when you’re grieving or experiencing other serious distress can seem impossible. However, it’s important to take the pressure off of yourself to find the silver lining. Instead, channel that energy into getting support from others.

Positive thinking isn’t about burying every negative thought or emotion you have or avoiding difficult feelings. The lowest points in our lives are often the ones that motivate us to move on and make positive changes.

When faced with stressful situations, positive thinkers cope more effectively than pessimists. Rather than dwelling on their frustrations or things that they cannot change, they will devise a plan of action and ask others for assistance and advice. Negative thinkers on the other hand, refuse to seek help.

Not only can positive thinking impact your ability to cope with stress, it also has an impact on your overall well-being, including a reduced risk of death from cardiovascular problems, less depression, and an increased lifespan.

As a matter of fact, positive thinking can play a major role in resilience. When dealing with a challenge, optimists typically look at what they can do to fix the problem. Instead of giving up hope, they marshal their resources and are willing to ask others for help.

At the present time, in many areas of this country, there are more, licensed, real estate agents, than, houses, currently, listed and available, on the local market. In addition, there are some, who believe (in my opinion, falsely), they don’t need to hire an agent, and proceed, to try, to do it, themselves! For many reasons, it makes little, to no sense, to do this, primarily, because: studies/ surveys, indicate houses sold by real estate professionals, generally, sell, for considerably, more; the degree of expertise, to be prepared, for contingencies; avoiding the hassle, of showing your home, regularly; transaction advice; and, perhaps, most importantly, often, professional negotiating, and knowing/ understanding the market! After over 15 years, as a Real Estate Licensed Salesperson, in the State of New York, I strongly, believe, smart agents, use, at least, these 5 steps, to being a quality, effective, real estate negotiator.

1. Know/ understand/ consider your client’s goals/ perceptions/ priorities: Properly marketing, and getting someone’s house sold, for the best combination of terms, requires, focusing, and emphasizing, taking the time, and making a concerted effort, to know, and understand, your client’s goals, perceptions, and priorities! Effective listening, and paying keen attention, enhances the possibility of proceeding, with, the highest degree of genuine empathy, and understanding! How can you properly represent someone, unless you begin, with this knowledge?

2. Understand other side’s needs: If, you are representing a buyer, you must understand what the seller, is seeking. When, you represent, a homeowner/ seller, you must look at his house, as a potential buyer might, and commit to telling your client, what he, needs to know! When, you make an offer, and/ or, receive one, it’s important, to recognize, and realize, the negotiations, begin!

3. Seek common ground: The best negotiating approach, is normally, not, adversarial, but, rather, proceeding, with a win – win, strategy! Quality negotiations must be based on, seeking common ground, and bringing about, a meeting – of – the – minds!

4. Address pricing, and other key issues: Pricing is, often, the deciding issue, in getting agreement, but, it’s important, to discuss these, as they relate to other terms, financial, emotional, time – related, potential stress, and/ or, risk/ reward considerations!

5. Close the deal: It’s not a professional performance, unless/ until, an agent, brings – about a deal, both sides, are satisfied with! Valuable representation must end – up, effectively, closing the deal!

Will you commit to using these 5 steps, in order to being a better, real estate negotiating professional? Are you committed, and willing, to be better?

Many people think that if they can just stop being shy that they will have greater success in life. These people are probably right. Shyness limits a person’s ability to take chances and to assert oneself both socially and professionally. Some people are naturally shy as young children and other people notice shyness becoming more of a problem as they get older. Either way, shyness does nothing to further a person’s goals and it must be stopped. Stopping can be difficult unless a person seeks help to gain more self esteem and to quit being shy. Effective anti-shyness techniques will redirect the way that you think and make you more confident in your social and professional interactions.

How a Person Becomes Shy

For some people, shyness may be a genetic trait and for other people it might be a learned behavior. Since the late 1980s there has been some research that indicates genetic links for shyness in some people. Those different genetic links are currently being studied.

Other people might suffer from shyness because they feel awkward in certain situations. This may have developed because they were never taught how to act in those situations or because they suffered from harsh ridicule or an embarrassing incident in those types of situations in the past.

Self Esteem

Shyness is also linked to self esteem. A person who suffers from low self esteem is unlikely to assert himself or herself for fear of rejection or embarrassment. Increased self confidence might go a long way toward ending shyness.

Bashfulness Has Real and Painful Consequences

People who are timid or bashful often do not succeed personally or professionally. It is hard to make friends or find a date if you are afraid of talking to others. It is also hard to assert yourself enough to move forward professionally if you do not have the confidence to do so.

Trust Yourself Enough to Seek Treatment

For these reasons, it is important to seek treatment. However, many people avoid treatment because their shyness makes them timid about speaking to people. Luckily, Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP) and Hypnotherapy do not require people to talk about their feelings or other sensitive matters.

Rather, the therapies focus on how to change your thinking in order to prevent the shyness feelings from having detrimental effects in your life. Instead of being impeded by shyness, NLP and hypnotherapy will help you be confident and outgoing.

Stop Being Shy: Treatment is Effective

Whether the cause of your shyness is genetic or learned, NLP and hypnotherapy will help you gain confidence and get rid of your shyness. Often, you will start to see the effects of treatment in as little as two or three one hour sessions.

The difference in your life will be amazing. Your mind will be retrained to be confident and you will be able to put your best foot forward without fear because of your NLP and hypnotherapy sessions. So, if you are ready to stop being shy and to start living the life that you were meant to lead then it is time to learn about these effective methodologies.

It is a common concern among young women that they may be ‘left on the shelf’. We fear life will pass us by, and we’ll be sentenced to a lonely existence devoting our affection to the cat, or some similar companion.

This leads us to settle for any port in a storm. As long as the potential partner is sexually acceptable, better to grasp the opportunity. You may miss this one, and never meet another, right?

To compound the problem, Mother Nature puts pressure on many of us by providing an overwhelming desire to become maternal. You have no partner. What to do?

Actually, there may be an answer for you in the many IVF programs available to us today. If you’re close to the age where the possibility of childbirth for you is running low, by all means check out your IVF options.

For those of you who are younger, you have the time to look around, and make sure you do. Join clubs that can offer you a common interest with like-minded people. Be friendly and participate, and be yourself. A percentage of people out there WILL find your qualities appealing.

Even if you don’t meet that special someone in the short term, you may well strike up good friendships that can last a lifetime.

Connections are what it’s all about. The more connections you make, the greater the chance of your finding a mate who will cherish you for life.

Case 1. A young lady with few connections. She can only choose from the people she knows. If the choice is shallow she may be lucky, but more likely will settle for less than she deserves.

Case 2. A young lady with many connections. She is able to be selective, and compare the qualities of many people, and therefore make a more informed decision regarding her preferred suitor.

Is it all that devastating, being left on the shelf? To some, not at all. In fact if it wasn’t for that pesky maternal pull, one’s own company could be quite satisfying.

To others, however, the mere thought itself is enough to inspire hot flushes and panic attacks. To those, I reiterate – make those connections, and plenty of them. You can’t overdo it. The more acquaintances you have (and I don’t mean lovers), the better are the qualities you’re able to select in a partner.

A word on promiscuity. Your sexual habits are your business, and I’ll not interfere. However, if you believe yourself to be a little naïve or inexperienced, and in need of some guidance, let me offer this. A genuine partner who has what it takes to provide a lasting relationship will not expect sex to be of immediate importance.

In other words, if an acquaintance expects sex to be part of the package up front, then keep your options open. Don’t jump in. If you lose the relationship because of your wish to be patient, you’ve lost nothing of importance. Move on.

I hope this article has been of some interest to those visited by that nagging fear of being left on the shelf. If you have the time, make those connections and enjoy the journey. If you feel your time is running out and you need to act, talk to your local doctor. The available programs are for people just like you.

Good luck in all that you do.

Sometimes during my studies in college and graduate school I felt as though I were some sort of mythological beast like the fabled Yeti or — to take something from part of the country — a Jackalope. I am a faithful, believing, run of the mill Mormon. I am also a student at a major university studying history. In a sea of doubt, pessimism, and agnosticism my colleagues find my faith both baffling and strange and have sometimes remarked in passing how sad that such a capable person should be under the sway of such delusions. My native shyness often led me to avoid confrontation and debate, but here I wish to reply to those people to all the others who have made similar comments over the years. Most of the discourse I see relating to Mormon missionaries on the internet and in the media is cynical and critical. The authors highlight the minority of cases where a missionary hated his mission experience or where missionaries clashed with ministers of religion or seers of secularism. I want say the seemingly unsayable: I enjoyed my mission.

Like the majority of young Mormon men, I served as a Mormon missionary when I turned 19. Since my sixteenth birthday, I had been saving money for this foreseen event. My meditations and my prayers over this future were generally one and the same, or at least they flowed so naturally one from another that I was never quite sure which I was undertaking. I determined that I would not go unless I felt and knew in my heart that is was the right thing. The Prophet Joseph Smith said once,

[T]he things of God are of deep import; and time, and experience, and careful and ponderous and solemn thoughts can only find them out. Thy mind, O man! if thou wilt lead a soul unto salvation, must stretch as high as the utmost heavens, and search into and contemplate the darkest abyss, and the broad expanse of eternity-thou must commune with God. How much more dignified and noble are the thoughts of God, than the vain imaginations of the human heart! None but fools will trifle with the souls of men. (Joseph Smith, History of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, 7 Vols. 3:295)

In Mormonism, God is not to be found simply through mere musings as in Natural Theology, but through experiences with Him and those experiences come from service to God and to mankind. As Joseph Smith said, what are needed are time, experience, and ponderous thought. The truth of a thing is to be found in the doing of it. So, I studied and lived what I read and in time, there came a conviction that God lives and that the Book of Mormon was true. As a Mormon missionary I spent two years teaching that to everyone I met. Another essay at another time will perhaps deal more fully with my basis for theism, but here let me say that faith is not irrational. It is not illogical. It arises from a spiritually yearning and understands that sometimes, to be understand, a fact must first be accepted and placed in the best light or in the most charitable regard. Logic, as my professor of philosophy at college said repeatedly, is merely a tool that constructs a priori assumptions and like a machine computes the necessary conclusions. It is not knowledge in and of itself, but a framework for organizing knowledge. A person of faith is just as capable of reason and inquiry as the most ardent adept of Positivism.

What does a Mormon missionary do? This question no doubt bewilders some. Some, whose own lack of strongly held values so distorts their perception of the world, refuse to believe that someone would truly devote two years of his own time; delay school, career, dating, and friendships; and at his (or her) own expense spend day after day sharing a message he knows most will reject. It seems a quixotic errand and perhaps it is. But, let me place myself on the witness stand as one who did it and does not regret it. For two years I wore out shoes and grew calluses from daily walking and labor. I was rejected, spat at, pelted with rocks (and once with ketchup packages), insulted, harassed, nearly arrested twice, and once threatened at gun point.

I will not try to claim that I enjoyed this negative treatment. Sometimes, though, I could understand the person’s frustrations and anger. It can be irritating to have someone approach you and try to steer you into a conversation about something as deeply personal as religion. However, my experience has taught me that most people, once my fellow missionary and I could sit down with them and discuss frankly one another’s beliefs enjoyed the conversations even if they chose not to believe in what we taught. Some were devotedly antithetical to our beliefs or practices and would likely have been upset my mere presence in their vicinity. To all who were willing to listen I taught my beliefs and bore somber testimony to the influence God and my commitment to Him have had in my life. In those two years I learned more about myself, my God, and my fellow men than in any other comparable period and it is not unlikely that I will be mining these experiences for the rest of my life.

Among my most cherished memories were many pleasant discussions with people of every walk of life from the educated to the ignorant, from the deep-rooted American to the most recent immigrant. I learned quickly that debate and disputing were worthless ventures. I am convinced, and my subsequent life has convinced more of this, that truth and understanding are the greatest victims of forensics. The result is usually the same: both sides become more convinced of the truthfulness of their own position and the issue becomes more polarized than before. In confessing that insight, I feel as I am committing a sin against modern society where debate has become per se a value. Let me clarify that I am not referring to disagreement or discussion, but rather to that puerile variety of parallel argumentation that so dominates our public discourse where speakers, who cannot truly be called interlocutors, speak so singly and disconnectedly that there is no exchange of ideas or even a recognition of the other’s point of view. It is rather the solipsistic pontificating of pundits and spokesman.

As Mormon missionaries , we were taught — and I aimed — to share our message, invite others to consider it, pray about it, and live it, but nothing more. True, we were sometimes goaded into debate and I succumbed to too many such baitings, but more often than not I and my fellow missionaries testified and warned and invited others to hear our message without ill feelings. Some have tried to argue that our reticence to debate evinces some deeply harbored fears on our parts about the veracity of our message; but such criticism is misguided. We merely recognize that rarely does any good come from such debate and the casualty of such battles is usually the good relations among people. Most of those who wished to debate us were so lacking in the ability to listen and grasp another’s point of view, that debate would have been merely a battle of wills and egos.

So, you might ask, why do we do it? Why do we risk stirring up such controversy and rancor? I am convinced after much experience that it the missionary work of this Church that inspires such vehement diatribes against us more than any peculiarity of practice or principle. Many groups similarly have divergent beliefs about God and salvation, but no other group makes such an effort to ensure that everyone else knows about them. I can only answer by saying that our belief compels us to do so and were we to ignore the imperative to share this message we would wallow in enervating hypocrisy. We believe that our message can soothe hearts, strengthen relationships, and enable all people to understand and worship God. This belief will cause controversy and earn us the ill assessment of many who hold that truth and values are relative, but to cease to share our message would be as good as denying that we believe it and that we cannot do; I cannot do that, for I have had too many experiences which have confirmed to me the truthfulness of this message and the necessity of sharing it with others. I have seen faith, both in God and in self, work too many miracles for me to step aside now and say I will not work to help others because I might offend some. Life has taught me this: someone will be offended no matter what I do, so I will live so as not to offend my conscience for that will be my constant and eternal companion.

My plea is for this: that people take more time to understand one another in our public discourse, particularly with regard to religion. This appeal has been made before and will be made again. I suffer no delusions that this little essay will have some grand effect on society, but hopefully someone will listen. True discussion and true communication about ideas and values requires that first we understand our interlocutors views and beliefs. Too many people assume all too quickly that they know what someone else believes about this or that. Such intellectual mondegreens stifle our ability to communicate for language and discourse is fluid and highly dependent on socioeconomic conditions. It is not enough to know what God and grace and values mean to us, we must understand what they mean to others. If not, we will blithely and arrogantly attack straw men of our own creation because, as Cervantes said, “they might be giants.” Then when we have bested our chimerical adversary, we will proclaim unilaterally and pointlessly our hollow victory.

Go to the source and ask a Mormon what a Mormon believes. Those who devote their energies to tilting at Mormon windmills and slaying Mormon chimeras will no doubt continue to claim that all Mormons lie about their own beliefs or hide the truth about what Mormons really believe. No doubt they will continue asserting that Mormon missionaries are highly skilled propagandists and purveyors of misinformation (nothing could be farther from the truth), but such claims are circular and rely on the assertions of prejudiced and blind eyes. As a former Mormon missionary who was proud to serve his faith and still follows that tenets of his religion, let me say that while we in America and the West will most likely continue to disagree, the first step toward improving our discourse, is by improving our listening.

Unless we first seek to understand, we can never be understood. I have grown weary of the prejudices, the casual slights, the quick dismissals and the self-righteous indignation of those who attack not just my faith, but all faiths and beliefs systems. These willfully ignorant and prejudiced attacks come not only from other religious leaders, but also from secularists who are so isolated in their own belief systems that they believe anything else must be irrational. Such dismissal of even the ability of others rationally to disagree with you and rationally to believe something you find fantastic will only serve to divide and exacerbate our public discourse. Let me end as I began by saying the unbelievable: I believe in God and in the message of Mormonism and I do so with full understanding and with every faculty of my mind. I do not ask any readers to suddenly convert to my faith, but rather I hope they will with an open and inquisitive mind seek to understand those of us who still believe in faith and hope through a living God.

Someone or something that is disruptive is usually associated in the negative. The sub-prime mortgage crisis has disrupted financial and housing markets. That’s bad. My son was being disruptive at dinner while someone else was talking. That’s bad too.

But I believe the idea of being deliberately disruptive can be a huge positive when used in the development of strategies, organizations, products, business models and markets. Specifically, disruption can be useful for those companies that are trying to serve low income markets and eradicate poverty, all while building a successful business venture.

Back in early 2005, I read CK Pralahad’s The Fortune at the Bottom of the Pyramid and Clayton Christensen’s Innovator’s Solution ust as I started my new job General Manager of the Emerging Markets Platforms Group at Intel. Our group was responsible for developing and selling new PC and mobile products designed to meet the specific needs of those at the bottom of the pyramid. One of these products is the Classmate PC, which has become famous mostly because of the ongoing public battle between it and Nicholas Negroponte’s OLPC XO laptop.

The theories put forward in Prahalad’s and Christensen’s books, combined with my experience trying to create a viable business with customers that make only $1 to $2 a day, is the foundation on which my belief that a disruptive approach is the way to go when building businesses focused on selling and improving the lives of the poor.

When I talk about being disruptive, I’m talking about strategies and techniques that change the game, overturn the status quo, and ultimately make the biggest possible impact. In this post, I will touch on the following areas where I think disruptive strategies are required:

• Product strategy
• Business models
• Leadership and management

Disruptive Product Strategies

Let’s start with the product strategy. Clayton Christensen’s theory is that a disruptive innovation or technology is a product that is easier to use, more affordable and adds a unique value that the market leading product does not. These products become wildly successful, often completely displacing the existing product or technology. Think of the PC displacing the mini-computer. The telephone displacing the telegraph. Digital photos displacing traditional photos. The list goes on. Will the mobile phone displace the PC? Maybe. If it does, then it becomes a disruption to the PC.

I believe the product that will displace the PC will come from a company that has developed an easy to use, affordable device that has some very useful “unique” value to those at the bottom of the pyramid. That was my conclusion after reading Prahalad and Christensen – and was the path I wanted to set Intel on.

Classmate PC is not a disruptive innovation. The idea was to create R&D labs in four emerging market countries and incubate various devices based on ethnographic research done in those regions. Unfortunately, because of the world’s attention on Negroponte’s OLPC and the competitive pressure it put on Intel (the XO uses AMD chips, Intel’s competitor), the Classmate PC project has sucked up most of the available resources and thus I think it is unlikely that Intel will create that disruptive device, and as such, is not taking the world by storm (at least not yet).

Is OLPC’s XO a disruptive innovation? Probably not. It has some differentiating qualities in the “unique value” category but nothing that are mind-blowing new or different. A unique value is usually very straightforward. The phone let you talk vs. tap on the telegraph. The transistor radio was portable. The unique value is usually a gaming-changing quality. It also strives to be more affordable, although any computer device runs into the same challenges of the floor on component and distribution costs and economics. It has been built with an interface that works to improve ease of use, but often these features are skin deep and are challenged, as you get deeper into the software and content.

There is nothing to stop either device from eventually becoming a disruptive innovation … many innovations are iterative vs. incremental.

Disruptive Business Models

In general, the penetration of tech products into emerging markets has not made a significant impact in closing the digital divide, even with higher overall growth rates than typically found in mature market countries (the mobile phone being the exception). Some argue it is the lack of one or more of the “disruptive” product attributes (affordability, ease of use, value). Maybe.

Again, looking just at PC affordability specifically, there have been a multitude of ventures that have aimed to close the PC divide by delivering very cheap, and sometimes free, computers. None of these ventures have taken off in a large scale, at least those that I am aware of. Please point me to any that are successful (e.g., that have shipped millions of units in at least 5 or more countries on different continents).

I think the key is that the business model strategy is often given a lower priority than product development. The business model that is needed in emerging markets is very different than what necessarily works in traditional markets.

Take pricing for example. Not the actual price, but how the “pricing model” works. One of the reasons mobile phones are so successful is that it meets the qualities of a disruptive innovation AND has a business model that allows very poor people to purchase phone service. In most emerging markets the prominent method of payment is through pre-paid cards vs. subscriptions. Safaricom has disrupted the billing model even more – they bill in seconds vs. minutes. Safaricom is a poster child for a company that seems to understand how to create a successful business in Kenya for the BoP. I recently wrote an article on my blog, Disruptive Leadership, that explores Safaricom’s disruptive business processes titled “Safaricom has figured it out.”

So you’d think that a similar model could work for the PC — offer a pay-as-you-go service for the PC through a subscription or pre-paid cards. Microsoft introduced such a service called in 2006 and it has yet to scale beyond small trials. Securing the PC and its components against resale (a PC is an open device with multiple replaceable parts, unlike the mobile phone) and getting banks to offer financing services are just two of the challenges plaguing the project. Bottom line: the business model has to be appropriate for the specific device or solution.

Beyond the pricing model, a disruptive strategy may be needed to think about how a company gets the product to the customer (at Intel, we called this channels). Outside the big cities in many developing countries, especially Africa, there are little or no retail outlets for PCs. How do you get PCs to a customer when you don’t have a channel?

One out-of-the-box idea is to sell PCs through the post office. We at Intel looked at doing this in Egypt with a government joint venture to increase PC access in areas outside Cairo and Alexandria, the two major cities in Egypt. There are few PC stores in the smaller towns and villages, but there is always a post office. We started a project to get PC’s into the post offices where people could purchase the PC directly.

Finally, I’d like to stretch the definition of a business model to include how the company is set up and functions. Should the company be set up as a for-profit enterprise with the mission to create a successful, high growth venture that brings a return to its investors (e.g., Intel), or should it be setup as a non-profit that depends on donations and grants to fund its operations even when selling an actual product (e.g., OLPC)? I have made the argument that OLPC would be much more successful in achieving its objectives if it was a for-profit enterprise, discussed in detail at OLPCNews.com. By the virtue of the number of comments and their intensity, this article clearly struck a nerve. Or maybe I’m wrong…maybe the most successful “company” model is a hybrid between a for-profit and nonprofit. This is something I would like to explore more in future posts.

Disruptive Leadership

I posit that in addition to a disruptive innovation and business model, you need “disruptive leadership.” I believe disruptive leadership captures the essence of what it takes to be successful as a business leader that is trying to crack the secret formula of growing in very dynamic emerging markets.

I didn’t invent the term “disruptive leadership;” just Google the term and you’ll find interesting articles, like this one by Edward Marx in which he states:

“If I am not upsetting the proverbial apple cart, then I am adding little value. By merely maintaining what has been done in the past, I will bring about little if any gain. Don’t misunderstand. This is not about stirring the pot for the sake of stirring the pot. Disruptive leadership must be purposeful and backed by a vision.”

Another good one by Ted Santos talks about how good leaders create problems:

“What separates extraordinary leaders from managers? One way to distinguish the difference is to compare the mindset of leaders and managers. Managers are great at solving problems. Leaders, on the other hand, exude their greatness by creating problems.”

A disruptive leader stirs the pot, thinks out of the box, is willing to challenge the norm, thrives on change and uncertainty, and most importantly of all, can navigate the turbulent political waters that inevitably are created in reaction to the various disruptive strategies AND leaders. A disruptive leader creates a company culture that embraces all of these concepts.

These leaders are few and far between. I loved a quote from a recent article in the Economist on the career of Mr Ramadorai, CEO of one of India’s largest software outsourcing company, on how believes dealing with adversity only makes companies stronger. “If everything is peaceful, you don’t push yourself,” he says.

“Adversity” has negative connotations, just like the word “disruptive.” But as Mr. Ramadorai says, adversity makes you stronger. I think being disruptive does too.

To be cool, don’t just think about it – do it. It’s scary but so invigorating. Remember people are not needy or desperate. Instead, try to solve problems yourself whenever you can. This quality attracts people.

Getting some alone time is great, too. If someone hasn’t called you back, lay off. There’s no need to followup with annoying text messages. Give people their space and they’ll respect you a lot more. Be yourself. It will be something that other people will look up to. You are unique, and you don’t need to join a clique. Make your own friendships.

Live life for who you are. Don’t lose sight of yourself or your morals. Own your personality. Remember we are all humans and we try to accept each other despite all the flaws and qualities we have, why not accept yourself as you are the most important person to you in the world.

What essentially makes you cool is your identity. Try to find your talent – sports, music, art, whatever. People will notice your passion and respect you for it. Practice self-disclosure. The more you disclose yourself the better you understand yourself. Self-disclosure happens slowly.

Be friendly, but not excessively eager. Many people find someone who is overeager to be annoying. Try not to force yourself on people. Be a good conversationalist. Don’t dominate the conversation. You don’t need to share a similar story at every setting. Just listen and comment briefly on the other person’s story.

Be a good listener. False enthusiasm will just appear cruel. If you’re stuck, remember the golden rule. Most people want to talk about themselves. Wait for the right moment to make a comment.

Be playful! Joke around with other people. Refrain from using too many colloquialisms. This may make you appear as “fake” or unable to grasp your respected language. Speak normally, clearly and confidently. Use humor. Cool people know how to use humor to ease any situation.

Learn how to laugh at yourself. You can be cool and you can be too cool. Don’t be that person. Speak up. Observe people who are “cool”; they usually speak confidently and clearly, at a good pace. They don’t chatter rapidly. They say what they mean, and mean what they say. If you state your opinion and people disagree, don’t worry. However, make it count. Don’t shout out your opinion just to be heard.

Keep your “cool”. Learn how to deal with people. Don’t get angry or frustrated. Being cool is natural. It’s easy to do. Be confident. People like people who don’t try, but are still successful. How does that work? Take a deep breath. Don’t lose your cool. Stay calm. Don’t use bad behavior to get attention. You should never substitute negative attention for really being cool.

Avoid arguing. When you’re cool, you realize winning an argument is pointless. When you know you’re right you just know it. Remember that people are your equals. Even a group of people is equal to you. Remember that people are your equals. Even a group of people is equal to you. They should be treated as you should be treated. But always know it is for a reason, be willing to find out what the reason is as long as you want them to respect you. Understand that some people won’t get it.

Have faith in your friends. There’s a reason they hang around you. Life doesn’t work that way. Don’t be afraid to be different. Insecure people will, at times, become jealous of you. Be self-aware. In terms of composure; be smiley, stand/sit up straight (it makes you look and feel more confident), smile generously, be polite and considerate, etc.

Present yourself in a positive way. Walk with good posture and look people in the eye. Smile. Be fit! Eat healthy too. You will see results if you work hard. Know that you will never be able to please everyone. People have millions of ways to get under your skin. Learn to spot them and become immune. Be happy with yourself and do what you enjoy.

Project confident body language. Find your own style. You don’t have to follow trends to be cool; you just have to be able to look comfortable and happy in whatever you are wearing.

Are you smug and contented with your life? Just doing routine work? But there’s more to life than this. What is it? Read on to find out.

Doing routine work can be dropping your kids to school, going to work, picking up your kids from school, going for grocery shopping, returning home, cooking and serving your family, doing the dishes and retiring to bed. All this is mundane. You deserve a life better than this. So, stop being complacent. Below I give a few tips on how you can find motivation amidst your regular life. Here they are:

1. Cut a clean and good joke, which you have recently heard, with your family at the dinner table and make everyone in your family share a good round of laughter.

2. After the kids fall asleep, hold a fun conversation with your hubby. Of course, you will talk about problems. After their solutions are sought through discussion, hold a light, jolly conversation with your spouse and feel really good and merry.

3. Before you go to sleep, read that novel you have bought sometime ago. Read a few pages and hold your interest until you start yawning. Then retire to bed.

4. Wake up early in the morning to make good breakfast. Make something nutritious your kids and hubby enjoy eating. Then you all can leave home, feeling jubilant to start the day.

5. In the weekend there is more time to motivate yourself. Engage your entire family in cleaning and tidying the home. Give them new mops, vacuum cleaners, sponge, fresh soap, vixol cleaners etc. to uplift their interest in cleaning. Once you have done it unitedly, at the end, there will be an immaculate and cozy home.

After everyone has showered, ask them to put on good outfits for going outside. Take your family for a ride to a good restaurant about which you have heard from friends. Taste the food there and relish.

Come back home. Go for a nap if you like.

In the evening sit down in the living room with your family to watch a comedy or a funny cartoon and enjoy a good guffaw together. The next day of the weekend you may spend some “Me Time” for yourself. You can go to the parlor for pedicure, manicure, facial masking and a good haircut.

With the new look, go to work again and see how your colleagues react. Most probably they will compliment you, and you will be inspired. You start your week right.

Summing up, you do not have to be complacent with your life. You tweak around, following the tips in this article, and find the mojo of life after you have stimulated yourself. Gotcha?

As we search after the great deals, incessantly cut and organize coupons, and shop the sales, the question comes to mind…Why? Are we coupon queens just cheap? Don’t we have “anything better” to do with our time? Are we never satisfied? Is there no method to our madness?

Does any of this sound familiar? Well, if you are as “in to” coupons as I am, it does! You know, you get those looks from “ordinary” people in the grocery store who basically stand and gawk at your coupon organizer. Or, you get those heavy sighs from people who unfortunately for them get behind you in the check out line.

By definition according to Webster’s dictionary, another word for cheap is stingy. On the contrary, being frugal means is to not be wasteful or to be thrifty. There is a huge difference is these two words. I think back when my husband and I were first married (20 years ago!). We both had good-paying jobs. It was nothing for me to go to the grocery and spend $200 a week for just the two of us. I cringe now at how much money we wasted, for I did not use coupons nor did I shop sales.

But as for me, there are good reasons for what I do. First and foremost, I want to be a good steward of what God has given me. Using coupons is just one way I strive to do this. Shopping the sales, using rebates, and looking for the best deals all go hand-in-hand with using coupons in order to efficiently spend the money God has blessed me with. Now, there are limits here. I do not believe in doing anything unethical or illegal in order to get a deal. I believe that if I deal honestly at all times, then God will bless my efforts.

Another reason that I use coupons and shop wisely is so that I can help others. The Bible says in 1John 3:17, “But whoever has this world’s goods, and sees his brother in need, and shuts up his heart from him, how does the love of God abide in him?” God expects us to help those in need. One way we can do this is by donating to local pantries food, health and beauty items and even clothing. For example, recently I was able to “purchase” 4 blood glucose monitors at no cost to me. Now, thankfully, no one in my family needs these; so, I donated them in the hopes of helping someone who does.

Another misconception is comparing stockpiling to hoarding food for fear of what tomorrow holds. For me, this could be nothing farther than the truth. I believe that as Philippians 4:19 says, “And my God shall supply all your need according to His riches in glory by Christ Jesus.” God is able and will supply all that me and my family need. Stockpiling is a way for me to buy the things that my family needs at the lowest price. Why should I pay full price for something when I know it will go on sale soon? And when it is on sale, why should I not buy as much of the needed item as I can at this low price combined with a coupon? It just makes sense to do so! And for me, stockpiling is just another way of being a good steward.

So, I hope that through this I have dispelled all ideas that I, or other coupon queens are cheap. It’s frugal. I strive to spend my money wisely and in a way that will honor God.