When you lose someone you love deeply there are lessons beyond what you could imagine. Some painful and heartbreaking and some humbling and heart opening. Every loss is an opportunity for growth (within yourself and closer to others). No matter who you are you will experience loss in your life. A loss of a grandparent, of a parent, a sibling, child, pet, spouse, friend, or relative. Loss is inevitable and comes in so many forms- moving away from friends and family, loss of a significant relationship, divorce, loss of a job, changes in school, a loss of physical health, saying good-bye to someone traveling away, or having an empty nest. Life continually is in a state of change and loss is a part of the cycle.

So how can we live with grace and compassion and open to these experiences when we encounter them (rather than shutting down, hiding, denying, or minimizing these most important moments)? I don’t have the answers, but I am in the process of learning and this is what I’ve discovered.

1. Allow yourself to be in the feelings.

People are fearful that they will become overwhelmed with emotions if they allow themselves to feel deeply. The truth is the more you ignore, avoid, or try to push through these feelings the more they will drain you and overwhelm you. Embrace what it is you are feeling and what it is that you need so you may gracefully move through the experience.

2. Give yourself time.

There are stages of grief and loss and they do not unfold overnight. Please be gentle and kind with yourself and not to try to push though the process quickly. When you honor your needs and give yourself time to heal you will move forward with an open heart, knowing what is unfolding is in perfect time.

3. Allow yourself to detach from trying to control circumstances and outcomes.

We all know the Serenity Prayer “God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change; the courage to change the things I can;and the wisdom to know the difference.” There are many things beyond your control when experiencing a loss and surrendering to what you cannot control allows a centering back to yourself and what it is you truly need. Being still and focusing on the “here and now” allows you an opportunity to let go of what you can’t control and soften to what you can.

4. Support and love is the way through loss.

There is an opportunity to open your heart and be vulnerable with those in your life during this process. When you are honest and allow others to be there with you on your healing journey you create deeper relationships. This has been the greatest gift in my experience and I am grateful for all those who have lovingly offered support and understanding in this time of loss.

5. Find comfort in creating.

During some of the most difficult times in my life I have looked to art as a balm for my soul. Art allows a soft resting place for grief. I’ve used the art to honor those losses and those I have loved, as well as a gift for myself to help heal and nourish my soul.

Here are some creative therapeutic activities you can do to help you through loss. Knit, sew, or create jewelry. These activities allow you to assert control over the materials, provides a mediative or prayerful experience of repetitious actions. Create a photo collage or scrapbook as a way of processing and honoring memories. Create art from clay or cement by embedding special items in the medium, or glue items on a box or candle representing your memories and feelings.

I believe we not only need to learn from these experience for ourselves, but also model this for our children and families.

You hear them on the radio and TV everyday. Some have outrageous ads and sales gimmicks. “Push, pull or drag your trade in for $4000 minimum trade”, “Best price in the world!” “Best bumper to bumper warranty ever – we cover everything.” “Repo’d car sale today.” Bet you didn’t know that these ads can be and usually are very misleading and can be illegal.

According to Leslie Anderson, AAA, Misleading advertisements and deceptive marketing from car dealers has been on the rise in recent years. Car dealers, due to a struggling economy are resorting to grey market sales tactics and ads. Many of these ads are either borderline or even illegal in nature. With all the publicity in recent years of scams and illegal business activities by businesses from every state you would think most states would have toughened up their laws and started to crack down on bad car dealers. Only one state, New York, has really done anything.

There are laws already on the books that make many of these advertisements and such illegal, but few states will even look into these activities. In New York, if you run a Push, Pull or Drag sale the odds are you will get fined. The thinking behind New Yorks laws is that if you promise someone a set figure for their vehicle it should not be factored into the discount or markup of the newer, replacement vehicle. This is deceptive advertising. Yet I hear these same ads, with even higher amounts promised on the radio and TV in North Carolina and South Carolina all the time. Then there’s the matter of expressed and implied warranties.

Expressed and implied warranties are actually covered under federal laws. Every car dealer must have a federally approved warranty disclosure placed in the window. This is to show if a warranty exists and what is actually covered. This was done as there was too much discrepency in the past with car salesman blurring the line of what is really covered and what isn’t. On a recent drive from North Carolina to South Carolina I saw 11 used car dealerships that did not have these in the windows – at one we found they were in the glove compartment. When we asked the salesperson why it wasn’t in the window he said it wasn’t necessary. In New York, every car dealer you drive by or visit will have these prominently displayed.

Then you have the usual lies – car dealers advertising a repossession sale, cream puffs, etc… They will lie about the origination of cars just like in a recent Carfax ad. Oh that was just a little fender scratch (complete repaint from a 50mph accident) or new upholstery (due to a flood and complete submersion). These repossession sales, like Repo Joe, do a media Blitz and claim they have all repossessed vehicles for a great buy. When in fact they probably don’t even have one repossessed car that is for sale. Most car dealers get their cars from either trades or local auctions.

Regardless of what they claim they most likely do not know the vehicles history. You can’t even rely on Carfax 100% as many vehicles are repaired without full salvage disclosure or even any repair history. A carfax report is only as good as the information that is actually entered into the system. Before you rely on that Carfax or what the dealer says is the cars history listen to this – Tennessee attorneys Frank Watson and David McLaughlin charge that Carfax’s ads promise more than it can deliver. “Carfax fails to disclose the limitations of their database,” says Watson. “People think they have a little insurance policy on their Carfax report, and it’s just not accurate,” says McLaughlin. Carfax is an online company that searches databases for a vehicle’s history, claiming to be “your best protection against buying a used car with costly, hidden problems.” But, critics say when it comes to many accidents, online reporting companies fall short. A class-action lawsuit against Carfax claims the company doesn’t have access to police accident data in 23 states.

This article should be a wake up call to car buyers to be more on the alert to car dealer scams, lies and untruths. It should also be an alert to states from Oregon to Florida that more needs to be done to curb bad car sales tactics. Most car dealers aren’t small mom and pop organizations. They are large million or billion dollar companies that will do anything to make a dollar. Even crossing the line or blurring what is legal and what isn’t. And according to one big dealer in Charlotte, North Carolina whom didn’t want his name or dealership mentioned for obvious reasons – “its all about that bottem line and if we get caught, thats what our lawyers are for. Per another car dealer, “it’s a buyer beware market: Buyers must beware and be detectives too.”

For the past few years there has been an increased push for children of all ages with special needs to be integrated into “typical peer” situations. While it can be the magic ticket for some children, it is not for everyone.

The parents of many children with special needs want their child to be “normal”. Part of this is moving into a traditional classroom. Some parents push their children into “typical” peer groups as early as when they are infants with the hope that it will make it so. There is a case for this type of action, but there are cautions as well.

Pro: Inclusion is an older concept than many people think. Vygotsky discussed it in his theory of education. He felt that putting children in an environment where there are peers of varying abilities would eventually move children to the middle of the developmental range present in the classroom. Each child would learn, not only from their teacher, but from their peers as well. For children with special needs inclusion can be an ideal learning environment. They may benefit from more verbal peers who can help them with social speech skills. For example, children can learn how to use their words for conversation, pretend play, and turn taking skills by working with their classmates who talk more. Children also see how other children are behaving in group situations and can adapt theirs to match. Peers who are more mobile can also motivate children with challenges to join in the fun.

Cons: For some children inclusion is extremely difficult. For those with extreme needs, even having a personal aid may not be enough for them to fully engage with others in the class. Children with severe motor needs and decreased cognitive ability may not reap the same benefits from an inclusion situation. These children may end up sitting alone or not receive the individualized care that they need to prevent pressure sores or other medical issues. In the same light, children with issues such as autism may find the inclusion classroom too stimulating for them. This can cause behavioral outbursts, self abusive behavior, and self-isolation. Likewise, an aid can do too much for the child or make too many exceptions to the point where the child is doing little to no work in the inclusion classroom. While the inclusion may be the least restrictive environment, the structure may not be ideal for the best possible outcome.

Special Considerations: All of this being said, there are some factors which also need to be considered. Some schools have a well established and tested program for inclusion. They introduce inclusion in a scheduled and monitored manner. They utilize transition tools such as Picture Exchange Communication Systems (PECS) and social stories to help make the process easier. The educational team meets regularly to discuss concerns and brainstorm solutions. Other schools are not as organized. In these situations, children may be placed into a “typical” classroom without the support needed to be successful. Teachers and aids may not be trained on communication and motor needs or how to engage children with special needs. The team may not communicate amongst themselves or with the family. Without good support and communication, the success of the inclusion program is limited.

Parents need to truly look at their child and determine the abilities and issues which can make inclusion helpful or harmful for them. Talking to the school about their policies, communication, and support for not only the child but the rest of the team can help determine if inclusion is a good fit. Inclusion is not for everyone. Some children need more attention throughout their day. By taking the time to truly examine the needs and abilities of the child and how they can work within the different classroom options, parents and educational teams can find the most successful and appropriate placement!

©R. Wellman 2011

Muscles are essential to the normal operation of your body because they help you control movement and posture. You use them every day, without fail, because without them, you would not be able to exert force on what you are doing. By adjusting the length of the muscle, also the tension, your muscles are able to contract.

You have three different types of muscles-the cardiac muscle, smooth muscle, and skeletal muscle. These muscle types control the whole of your body. The cardiac muscle manages the blood flow, oxygen, and electric signals, because it is responsible for the beating of your heart. Your cardiac muscle functions involuntarily and so you have nothing to do about it. The smooth muscle pulls the hollow structures of your body, which is also an involuntary action. And of course, the skeletal muscle, which comprises the most muscles of your body, supports your entire body. You need these muscles because without them, you would not be able to move, you would just be immobile.

Many people are confused as to how muscles work. In fact, muscles can only pull or contract (and not push). Every day, muscles work in pairs in order for a person to bend, pick things up, and do a lot of things. In doing these things, a muscle inside the body lengthens, and the other shortens. The one that shortens is the one that contracts, also called as the agonist. While the muscle that lengthens is called as the antagonist. Well, the muscles are designed to only contract, and not to push. This is why muscles cannot push.

The muscles would not be able to pull if the two protein molecules are not present: the actin and myosin. These two are arranged from the end to end of muscle cells, and so they provide the muscles striated appearance. Muscles help the joints in order for you to move, and also perform other actions as well and transmit it to other parts of the body, so you can achieve what you want to do.

Muscles contract or pull when an electrical impulse from a part of your body, say the brain or other organs, stimulates the muscle at the neuronal synapse. The electrical impulse then becomes a chemical signal, which results at the neuron’s terminal, while it activates the chemical signal by releasing neurotransmitters.

There are just so many things to learn about muscles. You have to maintain them, do your best to protect yourself so that you would be strong in the long run. Of course, you need to understand why your muscles contract because you use them in your everyday life. To learn more about muscles, have a chat with your local manual therapist, such as your trusted osteopath or physiotherapist.

From personalized baby shower gifts to a more sentimental idea, finding the perfect gift for new moms can be a challenge. The push present isn’t a new fad, though its recent resurgence has prompted many friends, families, and especially partners of pregnant women to start talking about what they are and where they came from.

A push present, also known as baby gift, push gift, or baby bauble, is a present that the partner gives to the new mother to commemorate the special occasion of the child’s birth. This celebration is marked by some sort of personalized gift, which is traditionally jewelry of any kind.

This one of a kind present can have its roots traced back to England and India. In England, new mothers were given elegant rings to commemorate their child’s birth. In India, mothers were given sets of gold jewelry for new babies. A mother usually received a more elaborate set for the birth of a baby boy, though baby girls were certainly celebrated with gold as well.

The first time the term “push present” was actually used in print was in 1992 by author Karen Heller. Until that time, the idea of a push present was largely passed around from person to person by word of mouth. Expectant mothers would drop hints, and families would suggest gift ideas. Recently however, the push present has become quite the presence in the media from celebrities receiving extravagant gifts. Fashion designer Rachel Zoe received a 10 carat ring from her husband Rodger in 2011, reality television star Peggy Tanous was given a Bentley in 2007, and Mariah Carey received a diamond and sapphire necklace from her husband Nick Cannon in 2011 after the birth of their twins.

There are no set rules of etiquette when it comes to push presents. As etiquette expert Pamela Holland says, “The standard is that there is no standard… This is far too intimate to have a rule.” Many women will let their husbands or partners know that they would love to receive a sentimental gift to celebrate the baby’s birth, though many men are now taking it upon themselves to find a meaningful and personal gift for the new mom all on their own.

Many women see push presents as a thoughtful opportunity to celebrate and commemorate their child’s birth. Whether its jewelry or another sentimental gift, the birth of a new child is always a happy occasion and should be celebrated.