I sometimes hear from wives who are worried about their husbands behaviors after he cheated or had an affair. Many wives sincerely hope for a husband who is willing to do anything necessary to make things right again, but this isn’t always what happens. Instead, many husbands will sulk, pout, or isolate themselves. The wives often aren’t sure how to react or what to do.

I heard from a wife who said: “I caught my husband having an affair a month ago. When I confronted him, he was very unhappy that I was spying on him and he tried to make me the villain in the situation. Once that didn’t work, he very begrudgingly agreed to end the affair and try to save our marriage. However, although he has broken things off with the other woman, he sulks around the house like a kid who has been separated from his favorite toy. He isolates himself so that he can go off and pout. He hasn’t been attending our children’s activities and he will sit himself in his home office and only come out to eat or make phone calls. What can I do about this? And what does it mean when a husband isolates himself after an affair? I will try to address these questions in the following article.

Why Men Will Sometimes Isolate Themselves After Cheating Or Having An Affair: Many wives assume that husband isolate themselves as a mean to retaliate against or punish the wife for spying or for her confrontation. This isn’t always the case. Some husbands isolate themselves because they are embarrassed or ashamed. They aren’t sure how to act or what to say so they’d rather just remove themselves from an awkward situation. Other times, they don’t feel that they deserve to be around their family. They feel as if their presence brings every one down and causes more pain so they tell themselves that they’ll save everyone the trouble and make themselves scarce. Finally, sometimes they just want some time to collect themselves before they reintegrate within the family.

Is It Harmful For A Husband To Isolate Himself?: It can be. Some isolation from both husband and wife in the beginning stages after the affair is to be expected. But if this is something that goes on for a long period of time, then it can be a problem, particularly if you truly want to save your marriage. Because you can’t begin to rebuild or move on if you don’t have regular and open access to him. Both people need to be open and willing to interact regularly as you rebuild. If this isn’t happening, then recovery can be delayed or even thwarted.

How To Handle A Husband Who Isolates Himself After Infidelity: In the above example, the wife had pretty much just let her husband isolate himself without comment. I suggested that you address this issue the next time it happened. Perhaps the next time the family had dinner, she might come into his office and ask if she should set a plate for him. If he refused to interact with the family, she might say something like: “I’ve noticed that you’re isolating yourself from us. This isn’t doing either of us any good. I realize that things are a little weird for us right now, but we’re going to have to interact if we want to save our family. I understand that this is uncomfortable for both of us and I’m willing to take this one step at a time. But things aren’t going to get any better if we’re not actively trying each and every day. I would like for you to come and eat dinner with us. The kids miss you and you are their father. They need your presence. Don’t punish them because of our issues. Let’s try to have a pleasant dinner and take it one step at a time.”

Another thing that you can do is to try not to make every encounter awkward or heavy. Of course, things are going to be difficult sometimes, but try to only discuss the painful issues of the affair when the two of you are alone. That way, your husband can feel safe to participate in family life without worrying that the affair is going to come up at any second. It can be important to separate family life from the affair so that the family isn’t negatively affected for something that is definitely not their fault.

For whatever reason your previous marriage didn’t work out and naturally you’ve got mixed feelings about forming new relationships after divorce. You’re frightened of choosing the wrong person and making the same mistakes. You feel like you can’t afford emotionally, mentally and financially to go through all that pain again. And yet still… your heart knows that there’s love out there for you and that you have a lot of love to give too. Somewhere inside you still believe it’s possible to create blissful relationships even after a divorce. Listen to that wisdom. Hang on to that hope. Because it’s true. You don’t have to repeat the same patterns of emotional problems or communication problems in relationships. You can learn new relationship skills that will enable you to form a great romantic partnership that grows from strength to strength. Here are 3 love tips to help you on your way to fabulous, fulfilling new relationships after a divorce….

1. Make sure you’ve really learned your lessons

It’s frightening how many of us repeat the same mistakes over and over. It’s like we carry some kind of internal ‘relationships’ template and we try and apply that same pattern of behaviour every time we are in an intimate relationship. When forming fresh relationships after divorce, throw out the inner template. Clearly it didn’t work for you last time. Why repeat the same things? Come at your new relationships with nothing but a desire to discover new ways of being together in love. Understand that a relationship is a journey of discovery. It’s an adventure that you navigate through. You’ll experience storms, tempests, hurricanes, fog, and times when it seems like you are becalmed and nothing is happening in the relationship. Hold to your destination: love. Be true to your guiding light: love. And enjoy the journey.

2. Transform from powerless to powerful

Break the spell of the mundane and go within to really feel your feelings. Inside is where the magic of your life happens, not in the outer world. You’ve felt the pain of divorce and maybe you’ve deliberately numbed yourself to your feelings. That’s okay, it’s natural to protect yourself that way. Just realise that you fall in love and out of love in your head, in your thoughts and feelings about someone. As you can control your thoughts and manage your feelings, you have creative power over how your relationship feels to you. Right now, you could be in bliss if you wanted to. Or you could let your mindtalk create an experience of pain and self-pity. It all depends on what thoughts and feelings you choose to focus on. When building new love relationships after divorce it pays to take responsibility for your thoughts and feelings. Nobody else can make you feel bad or make you feel good without your participation. You’re the one who chooses how to process what you are experiencing. When you experiment with this you will rapidly come to realise that you are free to be happily single if you choose to be or to enjoy wonderful, warm, passionate, affectionate relationships. You are the point of power in any relationship. Therefore you have 100% ability to create a wonderful relationship.

3. Get a better understanding of energy and how it works

By learning about energy interactions you will improve your ability to navigate relationships after divorce. You will realise that when you get too clingy and attached to someone it actually starts to drive them away, so you will know to step back a bit and give them some more space. Give them too much space and not enough affection and the attraction between you will start to waiver. There’s a fine balance. And it’s an ever-changing dynamic. When you think you’ve cracked the code, the dynamic will change. Life’s like that. It’s designed to keep you on your toes — and keep you growing. Good relationships are alive and organic that way. Remember your romantic vision and your commitment to love as an idea and guiding principle, that way you will always find new, creative ways of building your love relationship. Like most things in life, wonderful marriages are earned through hard work, they don’t just happen. That’s the thing that we need to knock out of our silly little heads… this foolish idea that romance has to be spontaneous and that it will last forever. Even Romeo and Juliet would have gotten on each other’s nerves if they had been given enough time together! Develop a spacious sense of tolerance in your new relationship. Treat it like the ultimate self-improvement program. Each day challenges you to be creative and innovative in your romantic and loving gestures. If you take Love as a characteristic you want to build into your nature, and practice being more loving every day, especially with your mate, you will be well on your way to creating a blissful love life.

Get rid of your old templates and learn from those who know how to create blissful relationships, approach people afresh; exercise your creative power over the thoughts and feelings you focus upon; tap into your heart energy and strive to always improve yourself in your relationships. These are the simple steps that will help you create new, wonderful, love-filled relationships after divorce.

Laser Lasik surgery often results in Lasik dry eyes. It’s nothing serious and it only last for a few days, but it is one of the side effects of the surgery

Think about it. The Lasik surgeon uses the laser to slice a tiny hinged corneal flap on the surface of your eye. That is to allow the laser to reshape the inner corneal surface of your eye. After the procedure the flap must heal and re-bonding with the surface of the cornea. During the first day or two the laser surgery leaves the eye feeling dry and slightly scratchy.

Don’t worry about that flap. It is quickly situated comfortably back against the cornea, where it should be. Your eyes are able to heal themselves and that is exactly what will be taking place after laser Lasik surgery. Now all you have to do is to protect your eyes and let the healing take place.

Complete healing of the corneal flap may take up to 24 months. During those months healing should not be a concern and it should not cause a vision problem. Your vision will be corrected far before that, so you only concern will be to stick with you follow up visits to your Lasik surgeon.

Many doctors want your first follow up appointment to be within 24-hours of your surgery. After Lasik vision surgery your healing process must be monitored and any adjustments be made during the post-op period.

Eye drops during your post-op program will avoid the dry eye after Lasik discomfort that is common. You will be applying the eye drops for the first two-to-four weeks after your procedure. The drops will help alleviate the “Lasik and dry eye” discomfort many experience during the initial healing period.

Pain is rare with the procedure. Lasik surgery patients control any slight discomfort with Tylenol or Advil. Anything containing aspirin is not advised.

Many find that an ice pack lightly held to the treated eye for twenty minutes is very soothing. If you apply the ice for less than 20 minutes you may not feel the beneficial effects. On the other hand if you leave the ice on longer than 20 minutes it can become more irritating than soothing.

The ice pack should be wrapped in a clean towel before you apply it. Applying the ice pack for 20 minutes three or four times a day for the first two days can provide all the relief needed. Consult your doctor before using the ice pack, of course.

If you have used the eye drops suggested by your doctor and your eyes still feel dry, try wearing sunglasses. Strange as it sounds, light sensitivity can be confused with dry eyes – it feels very similar.

Your risk of complications after having Lasik surgery depends upon a number of factors. One is the state of your pre-operative vision. The worse your eyes were before the surgery the greater chance you may require touch-up surgery.

Touch-up surgery is not highly unusual and is usually included in the cost of the Lasik treatment program. It doesn’t happen often, but you must be prepared if your surgeon says it will be necessary.

In most cases the dramatic vision improvement with Lasik laser surgery is certainly worth any slight discomfort you may experience. Lasik and dry eyes is the most common complaint and that is short lived. Just be sensible and protect your eyes after Lasik surgery and enjoy your improved vision.

If you are a wife who is struggling to find her way after her husband has cheated on her, I feel that you and I are somewhat kindred spirits. I feel pretty certain that I have some understanding of how you feel and I’d be pretty comfortable guessing that one of your biggest wishes right now is to just to feel somewhat normal in your day-to-day life and in your marriage.

You want to look at your husband and feel confident in his feelings for you and in his commitment to you. But this can be very difficult if he is not acting in the way that he used to act. I can tell you with full confidence that in the weeks and even in the months following a husband’s affair, we wives watch our husbands extremely closely. We analyze everything he says, everything he does, and even those things that he doesn’t do or doesn’t say.

So when we notice a change in his showing of affection toward us, we worry. And we desperately want to know if this is normal and what it could all mean. A wife might have a concern about her husband’s affection level. She might say: “my husband has ended his affair. I know this for sure and I do not have any doubts about this. He is doing most everything that I ask of him. But the affection is just not there. He always used to stroke my face, rub my hair, and hug me. This wasn’t planned or asked for. He just did it because he seemed to want to express his feelings for me and I always loved that about our marriage. We were always very demonstrative with our affection – always touching. I always felt that by doing this, we were staying close and giving our kids a good example of how to share feelings for those you love.

Unfortunately, my husband never does these things anymore. There is no more touching. And if there is, I am the one doing it. Often, I will reach out and grab my husband’s hand in the hopes that he will follow my lead and show more affection. He does not. I have mentioned this to him. I have told him that his lack of affection for me makes me think that he is not attracted to me or doesn’t want to be close to me. He says that neither of these things are true. He says that he is often reluctant to show me affection because he fears rejection. But I think that there is more to it than this. I think it says something about his attraction and commitment. Is what I am seeing normal?”

In my experience, it is. And honestly, what your husband has told you – that he fears rejection – is extremely common too, and may be one hundred percent valid. From what I’ve experienced and seen in other marriages, in the weeks and months following the affair, the spouses can almost be circling one another, afraid to act, watching and waiting for the other person to take the lead. This can be especially true of the cheating spouse. My husband and I circled one another like vultures, quite frankly.

The Doubts Your Husband Might Have: Husband express the following when they write to me. A husband may say that he often doesn’t know how you really feel about him and how receptive you truly are. If he tries to initiate affection, are you going to be angry? Defensive? Are you going to think that he is genuine or will you think that he is only trying to get back into your good graces? Are you going to reject him so that things are incredibly awkward between you? Or you going to reject him to get back at him?

One very common thing that happens for both people is that they wonder (and they worry) about what the other person is feeling. They assume that there is anger. They worry that there might not be any love. And they worry that they are the only one who is having these troubling thoughts.

Quite honestly, your spouse often has the exact same worries that you do. Neither of you wants to feel as if you are the only one who cares and that you are the only one who feels affection. So understandably, you hold back. Much of the time, both people are waiting for the other one to be the initiator. And when this doesn’t happen, people can assume that their spouse is not feeling love or affection when this isn’t true.

What Happens Next? Well, you can have patience and you can promise yourself that you are not going to just assume things. You can continue to show affection to your spouse and you can be receptive when he shows you affection, so that over time he feels more safe doing so.

And you can try to accept the fact that there is bound to be some awkwardness in this process. Until time has passed and work has been done, neither person knows where they stand, both people feel fear, and both people can hold back on their feelings and on their affection until it feels a little more safe to do so.

This feeling of safety often comes with time and it happens more frequently as you make progress in your healing. It often doesn’t make a lot of sense to put more pressure on your spouse about it, as this can make the awkwardness worse and mean that you get less affection instead of more of it.

Elder lawyers, in my humble opinion, handle some of the most compassionate of legal cases. We help the aged address their medical and financial needs when they are no longer able to, and we help them devise a plan to do so before the time comes when they can no longer do it themselves. In almost every one of these cases, the client’s plans or decisions involve the cooperation of their spouses, children, other family members or loved ones. But without a plan, the future is not so assured.

The simplest, yet most profound, thing I ever learned from another professional in this field is to keep in mind the two major goals of the elderly person: Maintaining control when control is in the process of being lost, and creating a legacy in the world when time is running short. (How to Say It to Seniors: Closing the Communication Gap with Our Elders, David Solie, M.S., P.A., Prentice Hall Press, 2004.) In most cases, the latter goal is the easier one, done by helping clients craft an estate plan (usually via a last will and testament or similar documents) that leaves their assets and worldly goods and possessions to those whom they deem worthy recipients after they are gone.

The former, on the other hand, is a trickier matter, one of helping the elderly maintain their dignity at a time when faculties fail and dignity seems to be slipping away. It is that loss of control that we all fear the most, and with good reason. “What will happen to me if I become senile, or get dementia, or become a victim of Alzheimer’s disease? Will I be OK? Who will look out for me and watch over me? Who will make my decisions for me? Will my wishes be carried out?” These questions are more urgent to those closing in on the time when age-related maladies occur.

These very deep and valid questions are legitimate concerns that can be answered before a person ever reaches that point, and that is the beauty of advance planning. If the aging would simply plan for these eventual events, they will be assured that their last years will be as golden as they could possibly make them. Advanced directives (powers of attorney, health care proxies, living wills), wills, trusts, Medicaid planning and long-term care insurance – these are all tools the elder lawyer uses or recommends to craft a plan to suit each particular client’s needs and finances.

More importantly, they are the tools that every individual has at their disposal to maintain control over their future. Because without this type of advance planning, these decisions will be made by courts and laws that do not necessarily reflect the individual’s wishes. For example, without a will, a state’s intestacy laws control who will receive the individual’s worldly goods upon death. If you want to leave your estate assets to a more distant relative or loved one and skip over closer relatives, your wishes must be known in your will. Without a durable power of attorney or revocable living trust, the guardianship courts will decide who will make your financial decisions. And without health care proxies and living wills, either the law (if your state has a “default” health care proxy law, like New York’s new law) or a guardianship court will make those decisions. Who wants their life being controlled like this?

If you want to ensure that your wishes are carried out when you are no longer able to do so yourself, see an estate planning or elder care lawyer to help you devise the right plan for your future. This way, you maintain control over your decisions, your assets and your future – your way.

I get this question a lot and I get it from women on both sides of this fence. The wives often ask it because they want to know if they can really believe their husband when he swears that he is done with the other woman. And, I sometimes hear this question from the mistress (some of whom are repeat offenders) who ask me why every time they engage in this type of the relationship and even invest fully in it, that the men ultimately end up going back to his wife.

From the wives, I often hear comments like “he says he wants to come back to me and that he knows he made a huge mistake for which he will make amends, but it’s hard for me to believe that he’s suddenly seen the light and changed his mind. Why do men do this? Is there some answer that I’m missing?”

From the mistress, I will often hear comments like “why would he tell me that his marriage is unsatisfying and that he really cares about me and then end up going back to what he seemed to not want? Was he lying to me the whole time, or was he just confused, or what?”

The answer to all of these questions is as varied as the man himself, but very often, he eventually comes to realize that he was desperately wrong in his assumptions and in his actions. And at the end of the day, all he really wants is his regular life back (which he now realizes he took very much for granted.) I will discuss this more in the following article.

Men Often Ultimately Go Back To Their Wives Because They Realize That The Affair Was A Mistake That Was Based On Deception And Unhealthy Assumptions: Before I go on, I have to say that not every single men who cheats will go back to his wife. But many do. And those that do often do so because they realize that the affair was a silly mistake that is going to have far reaching consequences.

In the beginning of the affair, a man if often looking for a way to fix what is broken or missing within himself. At first, the affair might feel like it’s accomplishing this. But the shiny newness wears off relatively soon and eventually most men wake up and wonder just what kind of logic they were using. Eventually, they come to realize that making yet more mistakes and using questionable judgment is in no way going to solve their problems.

In fact, they often come to realize that they are actually worse off and more confused and frustrated than when they started. Most of them will realize they have done nothing but made a much bigger mess for themselves and, once they make this realization, they want to abruptly put an end to this situation.

I’ll often have mistresses email me confused and angry that the husband abruptly broke things off when they, the mistress, did nothing wrong. It’s often not necessarily the mistress who is wrong, it’s the relationship that’s wrong. The husband comes to realize there’s really no place that this can go and that only negative things are going to come out of it. Therefore, he wants to make his escape and to start making things right as soon as is possible.

Men Often Come To Realize That The Mistress Is Not Who She Thought He Was And That She Has Nothing On His Wife: Let’s face it. People having affairs very often are living in fantasy land. The mistress seems alluring and carefree because she’s not the one doing his laundry, watching him groom himself, or picking up his dirty socks. At first, the mistress is usually pretty good at keeping light hearted and she’s usually pretty careful about asking too many questions or making too many demands.

But no one can keep this up forever. Pretty soon, these two people have to exist in real life and this is usually when the rose colored glasses begin to come off. And the view without them doesn’t look nearly as good. He comes to see that he and the mistress have the same issues that he and the wife have. And that ultimately, this woman is really a stranger to him and that the situation that he’s put himself in is very silly and has no where to go but downward.

Men will often tell me that once these realizations hit them, they realize just what an idiot they have been. They suddenly see their wives with a fresh set of eyes and they realize how much they took her for granted and projected their own problems onto her.

Men Usually End An Affair And Come Back Home When They Realize They Can Not Run Away From Their Problems: As I’ve alluded to before, husbands usually come to realize that they aren’t going to be able to solve their problems, stressors, and insecurities through another person or in another relationship. They usually will come to realize that they need to do some work on themselves or this problem is just going to follow them from relationship to relationship and continue to make them unhappy.

Once this realization hits, they finally understand that they need to get to work with the person that really matters to them, the person that they’ve been so unfair to and have taken for granted – their wife. It’s so unfortunate that it takes a mistake of this magnitude to force men to wake up and to realize that it’s often the woman who has been there for them all along and who knows them better than anyone who is most equipped to help them navigate their lives right now.

Sometimes, the wife does not believe these claims and is not receptive to picking up the pieces. And no one can really blame her. But, he’s often being truthful when he says that he can look back now and see that the cheating was among the hugest mistakes of his life and that he wants to make right if given the chance. Many mistresses will take this personally, but they really shouldn’t. The relationship did not have much of a chance from the start since it was based on dishonesty, deception, and a fantasy world that never really existed.

If you have gotten this far, you should know that you can watch Shrek Forever After online updates on the official site the producers have put up. You can also watch Shrek Forever After online trailers there to see what you will get from the next and unfortunately the last Shrek movie.

Watch Shrek Forever After online information as it evolves and see when exactly the movie is said to be released. Lately, the rumor that it will only come in June to most of the world has circulated around the internet and has caused fans to worry, besides the fact that it is the last one.

If you are one of the few people that have not seen or heard about Shrek yet, you should look for the first movie and watch it with your friends. That is everything you need to know about the character and I am sure that you will love it, unless you are a murderer and you have better things to do than watch a nice comedy movie.

In this last installment of the series you will see Shrek wandering in a very different setting. This is because Shrek makes a deal with Rumpelstilskin and this one betrays him. Shrek is an alternate Far Far Away kingdom and everyone he knows has completely changed. His friends, Donkey and Puss, are completely changed and do not know Shrek. Even his wife, his One True Love, Fiona, has no memory of Shrek. I believe that this is a good scenario for a couple of good laughs and hilarious situations, similar to the ones that are present in the other three movies. I can already imagine Donkey talking to Shrek and running away from him because he is a big, bad, smelly, green ogre.

And for those of you that haven’t seen the movies yet, you will love the voices. Shrek has a British accent done by Mike Meyers. Fiona is Cameron Diaz and Donkey is done by Eddie Murphy. I just love a donkey with that kind of voice acting. It is just brilliant.

So, basically you can watch Shrek Forever After in late May or early June. It will come in normal theaters, a 3D version is almost certain, and in some areas, there may also be an IMAX version. In any case, the movie should be good enough in normal definition, or how should I call it.

Millions of people are injured in accidents each year. It is best to be prepared in case you become involved in an accident. This article will help you to find out the steps that you should take after an accident so that, if necessary, you can make a personal injury claim.

1) Call 911 or the nearest police department to report the accident. Although you may not have been in a serious accident, you should still report the accident in case the other party wants to file a liability claim.

2) Make sure that you are safely out of the way of traffic. Hundreds of pedestrians are killed in the roadway following an accident and you could prevent being one of them. You will most likely be shaken up after an accident so be sure to be aware of your surroundings.

3) Check to see that the police officer completed a report and that is correct. If you do not receive a copy of the police report at the scene, be sure to get a copy from the police department. Since the police officer most likely did not witness the accident, it is advised that you review the report carefully.

4) Record information about any of the witnesses to the accident and what they saw. Try to also get the name, telephone number and address of the driver and each passenger of the other vehicle. It is also important to write down the name of the police officer, police department, and any emergency vehicles on the scene. You may need these notes later if you are trying to file a personal injury claim.

5) Take pictures of the damages to both vehicles and the license plate of the other vehicle with your cell phone or a disposable camera that you should keep in your car. As stated previously, even if it is a minor accident, you still should carry out all of these steps. You do not want to be in a situation where the other driver claims more damage than occurred and you are unable to prove otherwise.

6) Find out the name of the towing company and the location of where it is being towed. In order to minimize your stress after an accident, get all of the information necessary to retrieve your car BEFORE they tow your car. This way, besides worrying about what you are going to do about the accident, you will not have to worry about getting your car back.

7) Even if you are not seriously injured, go to the hospital or a doctor immediately after the accident. In some cases, your injury may only become apparent 24 to 72 hours after an accident. So be sure to monitor your condition, and seek medical care immediately because your injury may be more severe than you think.

8) Consult a personal injury attorney to see if you have a case. Even if you do not think that you need a lawyer, get the advice of one anyway because often, they will give a free case evaluation.

9) It is best not to discuss your injury claim with anyone else until you have talked to an attorney.

Do you work out often? If so, you probably know the benefits of a great workout. It helps restore energy, maintain a healthy weight, and even improves one’s mood. You probably also know the effect a great workout can have on the muscles. If you workout, chances are you’ve had more than your fair share of muscle aches. What is there to do? You have to workout to stay healthy, but the muscle aches are enough to make you want to throw in that sweaty towel! Well, before you get rid of your workout equipment and gear and trade it in for a universal remote, there are some things you can do to get rid of those muscle aches!

I probably don’t have to tell you the benefits of stretching before each workout. This is really important. It limbers you up and prepares your muscles for the stress of a workout. When you fail to do this, you risk some serious muscle aches that can drive you crazy. Make sure you stretch each time before you begin a workout. Also, stretching after a workout can really help prevent muscle aches as well. It is a great muscle ache remedy. In it’s natural state, unrefined, it is a sort of healing cream that will help a whole load of problems and muscle aches are one of them. Rubbing this on before you begin a workout can really help prevent muscle aches. Not to mention the good skin benefits that will come with it. After you’ve showered up, you can rub more Shea Butter on to combat the pains of tired and sore muscles. A great idea is to melt the Shea Butter until it’s comfortably warm, and rub this into your skin, massaging your muscles. Not only does the rich, warm Shea Butter feel sinfully good, but you can practically kiss those muscle aches goodbye.

One more great thing you can do to get rid of your muscle aches with it is to melt some and put it into a hot bath. This has the same effect as when you rub it on your skin, but with the added benefit of a relaxing hot bath. Soak in this for as long as you want, and then remember to rub more Shea Butter on your skin when you get out.

Working out is one of the greatest things you can do for your body and to stay healthy. It is discouraging when you workout and end up with sore muscles and pain. The tips and ideas above will really help you alleviate that soreness, so that you will feel more motivated to continue working out. You don’t have to live with that muscle pain that springs up every time you exercise and work out. Hey, in some cases, it is possible to have your cake and eat it too! Stay healthy and stay happy!

Though I do not typically acknowledge it, many observers have said that tragedy struck my life fourteen years ago at the age of twenty. I was just about to begin my senior year at the University of Florida when I incurred a high-level spinal cord injury which rendered me paralyzed from the neck down and ventilator-dependent, much like the late Christopher Reeve.

Faced with high-level quadriplegia, not to mention relying on a machine to breathe for me, it took me a while to learn how to live in this condition. I was depressed for months. I did not know what I could still do. I had to learn and focus on what I can do. What about happiness?

I eventually learned to identify with this quote from our first 1st Lady, Martha Washington, who said, “I am still determined to be cheerful and happy — in whatever situation I may be — for I have also learned from experience that the greater part of our happiness or misery depends upon our dispositions, and not upon our circumstances.”

Even in my situation, despite my paralysis and ventilator, I truly believe that I am blessed in many ways (for which I am humbly grateful). I recognize that there is always someone in a more difficult situation. Consequently, happiness is a matter of perspective and a choice.

Happiness is choosing to find the positive, even in less-than-ideal situations. But what makes choosing to be happy MUCH EASIER is finding your niche — something you enjoy and that you are passionate about.

Finding your niche is even better if what you are passionate about can become a job or business opportunity. The Chinese philosopher Confucius said, “Find a job you love and you’ll never work a day in your life.”

Losing one’s job can be a personal tragedy. Many people have experienced job loss as a result of the poor economy in recent years. That happened to Ken Knorr, who decided that since he no longer had a paycheck, that it was time to pursue an entrepreneurial endeavor. That entrepreneurial endeavor is now called THAT Company — which ranks No. 183 on the 2011 Inc. 500’s List of America’s fastest-growing private companies.

Regarding entrepreneurship, Knorr said, “There’s no greater way to be inspired than to be fired!” If what you are passionate about happens to be an unmet or underserved need in the world, or your part of the world, you could turn a personal tragedy like being fired into a business opportunity!

Personally, I am passionate about helping people (what I believe is doing God’s will). After my injury, my family and I recognized an unmet need for physical recreation and social opportunity for wheelchair users, especially power wheelchair users. This led to the development of a wheelchair bowling device called the IKAN (“I can”) Bowler that can empower its user. That also became an entrepreneurial endeavor to get wheelchair users (back) in the game of life!

Regardless of what personal tragedy you may experience, do keep in mind that a good way to emerge and find happiness is to seek a healthy perspective, and find your niche — something you enjoy and that you are passionate about.

If you are wondering why I do not typically acknowledge my injury as a personal tragedy, it is because many positives have ultimately resulted from me being paralyzed.