If you have just separated from your wife, there is a good chance that things are not going to be resolved any time soon. For her to take a drastic step like that means that she has obviously agonized over the decision and is taking it very seriously. After all, there is a lot on the line.

That’s why you aren’t likely to smooth things over with a bouquet of flowers or some smooth talking spiel. Unless she is bluffing, such tactics are doomed to failure. It is a little more serious than that.

Okay, so what about talking? Well, that might work if you can discuss things as two rational adults that stand to lose a lot if the marriage dissolves. However, what you don’t want to do is make things worse by looking desperate. If your big plan simply involves begging her to come back, you are throwing yourself at her mercy and the outcome may not be that great.

If you are able to come across in a mature manner, there is a very good chance that you will make some headway in the future. Acknowledge the breakup and let her know how saddened you are by it, but leave it at that. Make sure that you let her know that you are prepared to live up to your obligations as far as child support/alimony goes. This is going to send the message that you are prepared to take responsibility and do what needs to be done. This is what she needs to hear – not some insecure guy begging for another chance. It is the adult thing to do.

During the separation, make sure that you live up to your obligations. Keep up your payments and make sure that you are still a big part of your children’s lives.

If there is any consolation in being husband and wife, it is that a married couple have a lot more on the go than a boyfriend/girlfriend arrangement (i.e. children, home ownership). Thus, it is very easy to stay in touch with your ex wife. You can take your time and work your plan slowly. She is likely going to be a part of your life for a long time, even if you don’t get back together.

For the time being, be the person she can rely on. Show her that you are still there for her even if you are not a couple any more. Don’t try to force things and allow it to play out on it’s own. Before you know it, you could be reunited and living happily ever after.