You probably already know a pet is an important addition to the newly weds house. What you may not know is just how much your pet can contribute to a perfect relationship. Here are just a few of the ways they make their contribution.

First, should you or your wife have come from a background of abuse you may well find it hard to touch and embrace another human being.

My wife and I whilst caring for a homeless young man, who had been abused, had a lot of trouble hugging him until we one day went for a walk and brought home a stray cat.

He immediately warmed to Satchy. Picked her up and cradled her in his arms.

We had plenty of hugs in our household from that day on.

Every marriage can benefit from the extra hugs that come from having a pet in the home.

Second, the tricks that pets play, like chasing a ball of wool, or hurling a rubber bone, brings laughter to the relationship. After all we know the importance of the verse “a merry heart does good like a medicine”.

It lightens the heaviest burden and helps us to get our focus off our challenges. And have a good belly laugh.

Third, for those of us who are uncomfortable with talking to ourselves in times of crisis your pets can come to the rescue. They are amongst the best listeners in the land.

Just watch the way they respond supportively when you unburden yourself to them.

You can get great benefits from Marriage-Makeover-Part-5-The Perfect Relationship as soon as you allow a pet to join your marriage partnership in life.

Copyright 2006 Kenneth Little

Few people enter into marriage thinking that it wouldn’t last – at least not consciously. The majority of us wish for a lasting and lifelong relationship, offering the happiness of a shared life and a family.

But the statistics on divorce show that there has been increased wreckage on the seas of matrimony, with people hurt, families torn apart, lives badly affected. It is true that the rate in divorce in Australia has slowed during the last 30 years, but in the year 2000, more marriages ended due to divorce than due to death of one of the spouses.

Divorce is anticipated to end 32 percent of current marriages. And it’s a rising trend. “Rates experienced in real cohorts married during the 1960s are lower than current expectations while rates for those married from the mid 1970s onwards are close to current expectations. These trends indicate that divorce rates approaching 40% by thirty years of marriage may well be observed during the early years of the new century and thereafter hold for some time.” – from “DIVORCE RATES BY LENGTH OF MARRIAGE – SUMMARY OF METHODS AND RESULTS”, a paper delivered by Andrew Webster at the 10th Biennial Conference of the Australian Population Association (2000).

Is There Anything To Prevent Marriage Breakdown?

Marriages follow no generic pattern; when two people have entered into that intimate bond, there are many elements that can negatively buffet the marriage. External problems (finance, work, etc.) can quickly affect the inner being of one or both of the spouses, and this adds increased stress, sometimes reverberating from one to the other of the couple.

That means that there’s no easy answer to the issue of marriage breakdowns. Any solution must of necessity be multi-faceted – but there is strong evidence that links relationship education / relationship counselling with successful marriages.

But Our Marriage Isn’t In Trouble!

Seeking relationship education is sometimes seen as a remedy – but by the time a relationship is in trouble (or recognised to be in trouble), wounds will already have been inflicted on both husband and wife. That means both parties have to deal with FIXING a problem.

It’s been demonstrated that either premarital counselling/education or relationship counselling/education soon after the marriage is linked to a higher probability of a marriage that will remain healthy. Avoidance of potential difficulties is a much better course than fixing problems later on. As Dr Belinda Hewitt stated in her paper titled “Marriage Breakdown in Australia”, there are “known risk factors for marital failure”, related to “patterns of negative interaction”. The handling of conflict is a major issue. Encouragingly, she also states that “[s]tudies have shown that couples can be taught critical skills that are useful for handling common relationship conflicts (e.g., money, children, chores, and sex. The evidence that couples can learn to communicate less negatively and more positively is quite robust.”

But We Love Each Other!

The saying is that “Love is blind”, but the stardust of love usually does wear off, leaving couples to love each other with more discerning eyes than in the first flush of romance.

When marriages break down, it’s not that someone waved a magic wand and removed the love in an instant. Rather, it’s a process that results from ongoing conflicts, issues, interactions and developments. To keep love alive, one makes the choice of love each day; one learns mutual sharing, mutual interest, mutual connection.

There are tools of perception and behaviour which greatly increase the chances of a marriage surviving the tempests that may crash against it. It makes sense not to leave love in a vulnerable and unguarded place in the heart – but rather to protect it with all the tools at one’s disposal.

Should Marriage Celebrants Be Telling Us About This?

Australia recognises the importance of relationship education, and it’s not just something that is a good idea for celebrants to discuss with the bride and groom – it’s actually obligatory.

Quoting from the material provided by the Attorney-General’s Department: “The Code of Practice, applicable to celebrants authorised by the Commonwealth, also requires celebrants to maintain up-to-date knowledge about appropriate family relationship services in your community and inform parties about the range of information and services available to them to enhance and sustain them throughout their relationship. Celebrants should be able to provide information, and if necessary referrals, to couples who seek them. Celebrants are not required or expected to provide these services themselves, but are in the perfect position to provide information to marrying couples about the services that are available. This is a valuable role celebrants are required to fulfil.”

Stresses on marriages seem to come from all directions. Both men and women seem to be doing more than ever in their lives, taking on all sorts of responsibilities. Such additional stresses only increase the potential damage to marriages, so it makes sense to pre-empt any relationship damage. Couples who undergo premarital education or early relationship counselling are 30% more likely to have a lasting and healthy marriage.

Take the tools that can head off problems before they happen. Marital education / counselling is one of the best ways of doing that.

In this article when I talk about sex I mean the intercourse between a man and a woman. The world today has gone so crazy that sexual intercourse is no more honourable and respected as should have been the case. In the more developed countries the level of sexual immoralities is so high that it is really giving cause for concern. I don’t think that there is any religion that supports pre-marital sex, extra marital sex or any form of sexual immorality. When God created the world, He made the first man and woman and kept them in a beautiful garden to keep and maintain it. He also implored them to multiply and fill the world. Sexual intercourse according to Gods original plan is supposed to be a means of procreation. But today what do we find in the world; teenagers, youths, and adolescents engaging in premarital sex without fear of the consequences.

I don’t want to start discussing at length the extent of sexual abuse and immoralities among out teenagers today because this article is meant for men and matured minds. In this regard, we will be discussing about sex during dating and sex in marriage. Sex during dating: Call it dating, courtship, friendship, relationship, affair, etc you are right because these words are talking about association between two, mostly male and female. Is sexual intercourse during courtship, friendship or relationship outside marriage right? In a concise and straight forward answer, No.

The bible says do not fornicate. In 1st Corinthians 6: 18 the bible says “Run away from sexual immoralities, No other sin affects the body as this one does. For sexual sin is a sin against your own body.” Any sexual affair between unmarried people is fornication. Call it what ever name you may wish to give it, the truth is that if she is not your wife ,my guy you are a fornicator and fornication is sin and not pure before humanity and God. On the other hand the woman that is giving in to a man who is not married to her also is a fornicator. Most men today say they can’t marry a woman whom they are not sure can satisfy them in bed, thus reason for having sexual intercourse with her before marriage.

Some say we are courting and we need to know everything about each other to be sure we are compatible. I am not against men getting married to women they are compatible with, but sex is not all that makes a marriage to work after all, you are not getting married to her because of sex alone. Or do you intend to turn her to a sex machine after marriage? Most young ladies have messed up their destinies and future because of the word courting. You give in to a man and he makes love to you, after he tells you, am sorry we are not compatible; I can’t marry you. Meanwhile he has messed up your womanhood and pride as a woman. Remember it is not only that he has messed up your womanhood, he has also led you to sin (fornication) before God.

Extra Marital Sex: This is another common sin that is committed by men and women on daily basis. Bible says its better we abstain from sexual intercourse, but where we cannot, we should get married. It is very common today to see married men and women going outside their matrimonial homes to engage in sexual intercourse with strange men or women. The society abhors this and bible calls it sin (adultery). When you are married and you still go outside your matrimonial home to have sexual intercourse with another man or woman, you are an adulterer. Another common one these days is the case of married men having sexual relationships with young and unmarried ladies. She calls you her sugar daddy or Aristo and you are happy.

In this case the man is an adulterer while the young lady is a fornicator and neither the society nor God condones this. On another hand you see married women dating young boys who are young enough to be their sons and are happy to talk about it openly. She calls her self sugar mummy and the young man her Gigolo. I pity the young man who does that because he is inviting the rage of God to himself. Proverbs 6 verse 27 to 29 says “Can a man scoop fire into his lap and not be burned? Can he walk on hot coal and not blister his feet? So it is with the man who sleeps with another man’s wife. He who embraces her will not go unpunished.”

Sex in Marriage: God ordained marriage and is totally in support of the marriage institution. Like I said earlier, God created man and woman and gave them dominion over everything in the world as well as to procreate and multiply the world. Sexual intercourse in marriage is the means through which Gods charge for procreation is being carried out. Also in 1st Corinthians 7:3 the bible encourages sex in marriage and clearly states “The husband should not deprive his wife of sexual intimacy which is her right as a married woman, nor should the wife deprive her husband.” Sexual intercourse is for married men and women and every religion supports this. I don’t think that there is any society also that does not believe in this.

The couple should try and make themselves available to satisfy each others sexual urges to avoid temptation. Sex is not food that we eat on daily basis, in this regard men should not turn their wives into sex machines either. Most men who are into adultery always give that as an excuse. My wife is not always ready for me when I need her. You have to understand your wife and know when best she will be in the mood. Going outside to get involved in extra marital sex is sin and God detests that. I wish every married man happy married life and encourage all unmarried men to try as much as possible to abstain from sex until they get married to be at peace with their creator.

To keep romance alive and nurture the intimacy in your marriage, you’ll want to know a number of ways to express your feelings to your spouse. There are certainly times when you’ll want to put a significant amount of time and energy into a project that shows your love for your spouse in a major way, such as planning a surprise birthday dinner party that includes family and friends or a new deck that you spend several weekends building.

But it’s also important for you to know a number of smaller gestures you can make to convey loving feelings on a frequent basis. Little expressions of love and appreciation add up over time and can help ensure that your relationship will keep its special sparkle and glow.

Here are fifteen ways to say “I love you” that you can easily implement even during a busy work week:

1. Blow your spouse a kiss as you walk through the room. Smile, and let your eyes twinkle mischievously. You might remain silent, or you could say something such as, “Catch!” or “This is for you!”

2. Surprise your spouse by kissing the back of his (or her) neck as he sits in a low-backed chair that gives you easy access to his neck, such as a dining room chair or a computer chair. (For an extra reaction, you might lick his neck one or two strokes with your tongue after you kiss it)

3. Give her (or him) a brief neck and shoulder massage.

4. Leave a sweet message on his (or her) voice mail.

5. Send a short but sweet email. (Don’t send your spouse a sexually explicit email at work. Save those for his or her personal email account.)

6. Write a one sentence note that describes a specific trait or quality that you love about your spouse, such as “I love your beautiful blue eyes that remind me of the sea.” Or you could write, “I love your fabulous shoulder muscles that make you look so strong and sexy.” Put this note in your spouse’s purse, lunch, or brief case, or on his (or her) bed pillow.

7. Give your spouse a lingering, wet kiss, accompanied by a full body hug. (Many relationship gurus advocate that couples do this at least once every day.)

8. Hug your spouse and scratch her back at the same time. If you’re lucky, your spouse will also scratch your back while you’re scratching hers.

9. Give your spouse a compliment. Be specific, such as “You look great in that new pullover–I love how that color looks on you!”

10. Tell your spouse once specific thing you appreciate that he (or she) does. For example, you might say, “I really appreciate how hard you work to bring in extra income,” or “You’re a great dad–always so patient with the kids!”

11. When you’re at the grocery store, pick up something special for your spouse–a favorite candy bar, a choice piece of fruit, a small plant, one long-stemmed rose, a special cheese, a festive balloon, etc. When you get home, say “I bought something special just for you because you’re so special.” Or wait until later and leave the item with an ‘I love you” note for her (or him) to find.

12. Look for some little act or chore you can do for your spouse to make his (or her) life easier. For example, without asking, Lee will often empty the wastebasket in my office for me when he sees that it’s full. Or I might offer to make a phone call for him to save him time on a busy day. These types of gestures say “I love you and want to show you that I care.”

13. The next time that you have to buy a birthday card for someone, also buy five or six cards that your spouse would like. They might be romantic cards, thinking-of-you cards, or funny cards. Once every week or two, drop one in the mail to your spouse to arrive at the office or home, or leave a card in the car on the driver’s seat or some other place for him (or her) to find.

14. When you get “take-home” food containers in a restaurant, later secretly take your spouse’s container out of the refrigerator and decorate it. You might draw two hearts linked together with your names on the hearts and write “I love you” on her (or his) box.

15. Look for poems or song lyrics that you can give your spouse to communicate your loving feelings. Check out the great selection of love song lyrics at http://www.theromantic.com/lovesongs/main.htm. Just print out some of your favorites (use special paper to make it more special) and keep them back, ready to pull out and give your spouse with a note that says, “This expresses just how I feel about you.”

‘Marriage agency’ is the term used by the Russians for the local introduction service in each city. There may be more than one marriage agency in each city, especially the larger cities.

Westerners would never use such a term because it is too obvious. Western companies that perform the same service use the terms ‘dating service’ or ‘introduction service.’

I prefer the Russian term, as it leaves no misunderstanding as to what they are about.

Each marriage agency is located in a specific city or town in the CIS countries and represents the women who sign up with their agency locally. They are usually locally owned. They may or may not have their own website.

Westerners, or Russian wives of westerners, usually own the major agencies whose websites you will visit on the Internet. They are usually affiliated with one or more of the local marriage agencies located in CIS countries.

That is why you see certain cities promoted on their sites. For example, you may see them list women from ten medium sized towns in Russia, Belarus, and Ukraine.

How They Work

The local marriage agencies provide the women. The Western agencies connect them with the men, via the Internet and their website.

There is usually some kind of split that is made when transactions are made over these websites. For example, when you pay for the names and addresses of the women.

The local marriage agencies in Russia make money from the email forwarding services, translation services, and other local services such as procuring gifts for local women. They also make money providing tours and services for men visiting their agency.

Sometimes there are breakups of these affiliations, due to misunderstandings or outright contract violations. I have been in the middle of several of these disagreements.

I had my primary contact with the Western agency, and when their relationship dissolved, the local marriage agency tried to usurp my relationship with the primary agency and contact me directly. It was interesting to watch.

Coming together is a beginning, staying together is progress, and working together is success. – Henry Ford

Good marriages are the backbone of happy and healthy families. Keeping marriages strong and working through challenges successfully can help a family thrive. Marriages are constantly faced with challenges today. Whether it is communication problems, infidelity, parenting, substance abuse, or loss of a family member, marriage counseling has many benefits. Not only does marriage counseling help in working through problems, it enhances relationships and opens up lines of communication. One of the most common complaints of couples is that they do not feel heard or understood by their partners. A marriage therapist can help couples communicate in such a way that they can understand, accept, and respect one another. They can begin to feel safe in sharing their feelings and thoughts, release anger and bitterness, and trust again. They can draw closer than they ever thought was possible.

Marriage counseling can also help to reduce the chance of problems becoming worse, and relationships drifting, becoming damaged, or ending in divorce. Research has found that professional counseling improves relationships and the physical and mental health of all family members is significantly improved.

Marriage counseling has many benefits to those who want to build strong, healthy, and happy marriages. Great relationships do not just happen. There is investment involved, that is, investment of time, effort, and sacrifice. Some of the most successful marriages are those that have undergone some of the most difficult times and committed to work on them together. Persistence and commitment to the process lead to success in marriage counseling.

Getting help to improve or save a marriage is one of the wisest, most loving things a couple can do for their own well-being, for their children and families, and for their future. No marriage need suffer from the pressures of unresolved problems that lead to even bigger problems. Help is available and it can make a difference for life!

Chains do not hold a marriage together. It is threads, hundreds of tiny threads which sew people together through the years. – Simone Signoret

Mamma mia!: Saint or Sinner?

The Italian mamma embodies all the paradoxes of Italian life. A beacon of self-sacrifice, she always gets her own way. An apparent martyr to her family’s needs, she commands the same family without question. She is able to make life both easy and incredibly difficult.

It’s no wonder that “Mamma mia” is the most used phrase in the Italian language!

Italian Mothers: The ultimate home-maker.

Far more than in America or the UK, Italian mothers in the twenty-first century tend to be home-makers while their husbands go out to work. A recent survey showed that it’s quite acceptable in Italian family traditions for the average young son in Italy to spend around fifteen minutes a day with his father but several hours with his mother.

It’s not surprising, then, that he learns to take every cue from her: how to dress, where to go, what to eat, who to see. And such is the attachment formed in childhood that it continues into adult life: one in three married adult sons sees his mother every single day, and seven out of ten unmarried men still live with their mother at the age of thirty-five.

Italian ‘mothers’ boys’: The Growth of the ‘Mammoni’.

In other countries that would make them the object of jokes and derision. Not so in Italy. Here, there’s nothing strange about men wanting to stay with their mothers for as long as they can – even when they have married – and it’s applauded as the right thing to do. The average age for an Italian man to marry is thirty – one of the highest recorded in United Nations statistics.

And that’s given rise to a growth of what have become known as ‘Mammoni‘ – men who are still tied to their mother’s apron strings.

A recent story in a Roman e-magazine told of an Italian lawyer in his thirties, a prominent and very powerful figure in an intensely male and competitive world. Recently married and with a baby due, he still takes his dirty washing to be done by his mother who also irons his shirts, buys his underpants and gives him food to take home in case his new wife can’t cook…

Is this the archetypal Italian mother stereotype? Perhaps. But it’s having a very real effect on Italian marriages.

Italian Mothers and Marriage.

For a shocking three out of ten Italian marriages is now failing specifically because of the unusually close attachment of men to their mothers.

Psychologists conclude that boys in Italy being indulged by their Italian mothers well into adulthood makes them too emotionally immature to deal with the demands of a relationship with another adult woman in the shape of a wife:

“The husband is used to being adored and when he doesn’t get that unconditional love from his wife, he goes running back to his mother.”

Italian Marriage: Does it have a future?

Perhaps that’s why recent United Nations statistics have shown that the marriage rate in Italy is now at its lowest ever ebb: Italy is twenty-third out of twenty-seven countries (the United States being at the top of the table) in terms of how many people per head of population are marrying per year.

Will this trend continue? As with many things Italian, there are regional differences: the south of the county is still a more patriarchal society than the north, the cities are more accepting of women and men having equal rights – and responsibilities – than rural districts.

So does Italian marriage have a future? That will largely depend on the new generation of men in Italy and the ability of the younger generation of women to change a mindset that has existed for generations.

I often hear from wives who are worried that they’ve waited too long (or not done enough) to save their troubled marriages. Many tell me that they think too much time has passed before they tried to make any positive change so they worry that there’s really nothing they can do to fix what’s been broken for a long time. And, many aren’t at peace with this and don’t want to give up. Many of these wives are looking for some latch ditch effort that’s going to repair their marriage before they are forced to throw in the towel.

I often hear comments like “when is it too late to save or fix your marriage because I’m worried that it’s just too late for us. Sometimes, I think that there’s nothing there anymore or that our relationship is so far gone that nothing is going to save it.”

Frankly, it’s my opinion that it’s almost never too late. I’ve seen couples who’ve actually been divorced get remarried. I’ve seen couples who had begun relationships with other people get back together. And, I’ve seen couples who can’t even stand to be in the same room eventually turn things around. In short, I’ve seen marriages that had long been left for dead rebound with a little effort, luck, and diligence. I will discuss this more in the following article.

If You Worry That It’s Too Late To Save Your Marriage, You Might Be Right Because Your Fears Can Become A Self Fulfilling Prophecy: I often hear from wives who say things like “I’m not ready to give up on my marriage. I actually still love my husband, but I know that it’s too late for us.” This is so unfortunate because the wife is going to give up, all but ensuring that she’s absolutely right about it being too late. If you allow these fears and assumptions to keep you from taking any real action, then you’re pretty much guaranteeing that you’re going to get precisely what you don’t want and what you fear the most.

If you truly want and intend to save your marriage, then you’re much better off vowing to take a measured approach, to do your best, and to wait and see what happens before you make potentially dangerous assumptions. It’s often best not to try to quantify emotions and relationships that often don’t fit into neat little categories. Focus on what you can control and try to believe that if you do that well, all of the other pieces will fall into place.

Times When It May Be Too Late For The Marriage To Be Saved: There are some instances where I’ve observed that the marriage is more likely to be over. These are instances where one spouse has been abusive to another (or to the couple’s children) and just can’t or won’t make any permanent changes to ensure that this will stop.

Another instance where marriage are sometimes over is when both of the parties has become completely indifferent and not invested. What I mean by that is that no one is angry, fearful, or jealous anymore. Both parties are at peace with the decision to end the marriage because both of them know that it came to natural end and that, although they did everything they could to prevent this, they fell short anyway.

However, I have to say that most of the time, this isn’t the situation that I see. More often than not, at least only one spouse is indifferent. Although it’s a bit more difficult to save the marriage when one spouse is indifferent (or thinks they are,) it’s not impossible if the willing spouse is able to make some noticeable and necessary changes on their own.

Instances Where It’s Not Too Late To Fix Your Marriage: Often, I will hear from people who tell me that they’re sure that their marriage is too far gone. They’ll confess that they and their spouse tell each other that they hate the other, fight all of the time, or are unfaithful. It’s as if they believe that if they can heap on a bunch of negative descriptions, I’ll finally give in and admit “OK, your marriage is too far gone. It can’t be saved.”

This almost never happens. Why? Because if people have taken the time to find and then ask me about their marriage, they most certainly are not indifferent about what happens to it. So, it’s obvious that at least one of the spouses is still somewhat invested and not indifferent. And frankly, it doesn’t always matter that they hate each other or are constantly fighting. Sure, they will have to change these emotions and behaviors. But the presence of strong emotions (even negative ones) at least show me that mutual indifference isn’t present.

And yes, people tell me that one of them are going to or have moved out. They tell me that they’re going to or have separated. None of these things derail me all that much. Because I’ve seen marriage such as this (including my own) rebound. I know that it can be done. The question if often not: “is it too late to save my marriage?” Instead it’s: “what am I going to do to save my marriage before it’s too late?”

Rather than worrying about placing a definition or restriction on your relationship, you’re often much better off coming up with an effective and workable plan. I learned this the hard way. Trust me when I say, it’s almost never too late to save your marriage, but the longer that you wait to take some effective and definitive action, the harder it becomes.

Some might consider Adam and Eve the first “arranged” marriage although, theoretically, neither had any other viable options. The point is that, historically, arranged marriages can be traced to our earliest civilizations. Makes you wonder when “love” entered into the marriage equation so people could choose for themselves to whom they would make love and live with for the rest of their lives.

Today, most of us can’t even fathom having our spouse chosen for us, yet it still happens in India, in traditional African societies, Muslim countries, royal families, the Amish and other groups. In many cases, the couple doesn’t meet until the day of the wedding. It’s like a one-night stand you can never escape. Yikes! Fortunately, times are changing worldwide. Many parents do allow a small courtship period, and if one or both in the arranged couple don’t want the marriage, it’s canceled.

We could argue for days about whether the woman or the man in an arranged marriage gets the worse deal. Both are essentially forced to marry and live with a virtual stranger, which can’t be easy for either one. Of course, women in third-world or developing countries are often not considered equal to men, so they’re going to be affected by culture and customs regardless. But let’s not get into human rights issues. We’re here to talk about arranging your own marriage.

To do that, we need to see what’s good about arranged marriages, and take some pointers in finding a suitable spouse. Here’s where part of the marriage-arranging process has validity and actually makes a lot of sense.

In western society, men and women usually need a spark – some sort of emotional connection between the two before a non-platonic relationship is even explored. In an arranged marriage, neither physical/sexual attraction nor personality is an important factor to the parents. Again, yikes!

So now we’ll assume you’ve met a potential spouse, you’ve dated a few months and you think this could be THE ONE. Now let’s bring arranged-marriage criteria into play. Think of it as Mom and Pop’s “e-harmony” application. They’re simply things that help ensure happiness, productivity and a healthy family life. Now is the time to move past the hot bod and the great sex. At the very least, look for:

– Matching levels of education

– Matching cultures

– Matching religions (or similar codes of ethics and values)

– Parenthood potential (will he make a good father? She, a good mother?)

– Does he/she come from a good family with a good reputation? (They may be millionaires, with Dad in prison for a major white-collar crime)

– How does he/she treat his/her parents?

– Does he/she have good manners? (This sounds minor, but you’d be amazed at its importance.)

Dating your wife again is a great way to save your marriage after cheating. It’s only as effective as the two of you allow it to be however but it can make all the difference in the world for the sake of your marriage. If you feel your marriage is at an end but are still in love with your wife then perhaps it’s time to go back in time and start dating your wife again. It’s the perfect opportunity to sort of start over your marriage and do it better this time around.

Dating your wife again can really be the perfect solution for both of you. It’s the opportunity to start over and really put the past behind you once and for all. It’s also the perfect chance to get to know each other once again. Share your hopes, share your dreams, flirt, and live dangerously. Rediscover all the reasons the two of you fell in love in the first place but also take this opportunity to avoid making some of the same mistakes you made in the past. Don’t rush in and talk about problems instead of hoping they’ll solve themselves.

Here are a few great date ideas for dates where you can have great conversations while getting to know each other again.

1. Consider ice skating together. Many couples have never done this and it’s a great way to break the ice (figuratively please), laugh, and have a lot of fun together. Even if you are complete novices to ice skating it can be a fun first date that starts some interesting conversations. Regardless it will be a date to remember for many dates to come.
2. Take a charter bus tour together. This doesn’t have to be a long-distance excursion in order to be a ton of fun. There are charter bus tours to meet all kinds of interest from wine tastings to Alcatraz. It’s not about the destination so much as using the ride as an opportunity to really talk to each other and learn more about each other. It’s even better when you don’t have to do the driving and can focus all your attention on each other rather than watching the road.
3. Go on a hot air balloon ride. There are charters for this as well that leave the driving up to someone else and free up your time and attention to enjoy the view even if it’s only the view in each other’s eyes.