With the emphasis on the beautiful and fit it’s hard to imagine someone actually being afraid of being attractive. Unfortunately, it is an all too common problem with people and weight loss. The overweight individual is doing great on their weight loss program. S/he has a great healthy eating plan leading to slow steady weight reduction. The clothes are getting looser. S/he’s feeling better… then, wham, suddenly s/he sabotages everything accomplished so far.

Reasons Some are Afraid of Being Attractive

Can you come up with a few reasons why there would be fear of being attractive? A few are:

• Fear of physical intimacy
• Fear of emotional intimacy
• Fear of being sexually abused
• Fear of rejection

As you notice, all the reasons are about fear.

Fear of Sexual Intimacy

How you grow up greatly determines your beliefs about yourself and others. Some people grow up in an environment that proclaims that sexual intercourse is wrong except for pro-creation. Depending upon how the person responds to such declarations, s/he could fear that s/he’ll be damned for eternity if s/he enjoys having sex. What better way to prevent someone from finding you unattractive than to surround yourself with fat.

Fear of Emotional Intimacy

This fear also arises from the childhood home life. The person does not want their parent’s message. In fact, he or she will do anything to avoid it. What better way to prevent people from being attracted to you than to make yourself unattractive.

Fear of Being Sexually Abused

Although similar, this is not the same as fear of sex. The person may truly want to have a sexual relationship, but he or she had been sexually abused and wants to avoid a repeat at all costs. In addition, being a victim of sexual abuse often leads to self-loathing. S/he feels dirty and unworthy. S/he proves this by making herself physically unattractive.

Fear of Rejection

No one likes to be rejected. The embarrassment goes right through the soul whether it’s not being selected for a sport’s team or someone you like letting you know you’re not wanted. When the fear of rejection is so strong, you do what you can to avoid it. You’ll make up any kind of excuse from having to work so much you’re unavailable to making yourself unattractive.

Residing in the Subconscious

People have a natural inclination to form relationship. We humans are made to be communal. Except for conscious decisions to be a hermit on a mountain, keeping apart from others is on a subconscious level. It is due to wounds which prevent you from being free to form relationship.

When you sabotage your weight loss due to fear of being attractive, you need to heal those hidden wounds. When the wounds are healed, you’ll be more successful with weight loss.

What is the greatest fear of man? Is it death? Pain? Poverty? Physical ailments? Loneliness? Surveys tell us that the number one fear among modern people is public speaking, of all things!

What is fear? We all know what it feels like, but what exactly is it? The dictionary defines fear as “A painful emotion or passion excited by the expectation of evil, or the apprehension of impending danger; apprehension; anxiety; solicitude; alarm; dread; to be anxious or solicitous for.” That sounds rather ominous, and it is. Now, what are we going to do about it?

Fear, however, can also be a positive emotion. Fear can also induce an adrenalin rush enabling us to rise to the demands of a particular situation. It could be the “extra” you need to run from the mugger, to sing in front of the crowd, to burst through the defensive line of the opposing team, to ask your boss for a raise and so on.

Fear manifests itself physically, often as a knot in the bottom of our stomach, as that tension headache in the lower region on the back of our skull, as subtle to massive perspiration levels across our bodies or dozens of other physical sensations. Is fear real? Sometimes, it is a result of very real and threatening circumstances, while at other times it is simply the resulting emotions caused by our apprehension and negative expectations concerning a certain activity, event or outcome. They feel the same however. Our bodies react in the same manner whether the fear is real or imagined.

Consider the acronym Felse Evidence Appearing Real. The letters spell fear, but what is the message? The obvious message is that whether or not the situation is real or imagined, our mind sees it as the same occurrence and our physical reaction is identical. Knowing this, we can now go to work.

Many years ago, Mark Twain said “Do the thing that you fear and the death of fear is certain.” He was as exactly right then as he is for today, as truth never changes. I have found through personal experience that if you are fearful about a certain event or situation, there are steps that you can take to make it more logical and less emotional. In other words, identify the false evidence that is appearing real and you are on your way to reducing that situations’ negative hold on you. Removing or reducing the negative emotion by identifying the false evidence will enable you to have the courage to do the thing that you fear.

For example, assume that you were called upon by your boss to do a three-month research project and present your findings and representations to the board. After you “outwardly and confidently” accept the assignment, your first gut reaction may likely be sheer panic! Right now, you are probably paralyzed with fear and shaken to the core. Where do you go from here? How on earth can you muster the fortitude to proceed?

Let’s break down this project and look at it rationally. These same steps can be used with little modification to address a wide variety of circumstances. For the purposes of this paper, let’s assume that you are quite capable of accumulating the data and extrapolating the results into a written report format and you now have concluded that portion of your assignment. What next?

1. Relax. Take a deep breath, hold for a 4 second count and exhale slowly. Repeat 4 times.

2. Close your eyes. Know that God gave you ample ability to do this. Be thankful.

3. On a blank sheet of paper, draw a line down the center so that you now have two columns.

4. Label column one as Positives and column two as Negatives.

5. Identify your negative emotions and write each one in the Negatives column. Write in detail as necessary. Clearly identify each feeling that you have relative to the assignment.

6. In the Positives column, write your strengths. Include your positive emotions. Examples: Do you have a pleasant voice? Is your work often complimented? Do people like you?

7. What are the likely outcomes from the assignment? Will you be promoted when you deliver your presentation? Will you receive a 20% salary increase? Will you literally die a horrid death if you deliver a poor presentation? Will they “boo” and heckle you in the boardroom? Be realistic. Examine the facts. What is the evidence supporting each possible outcome?

8. Identify the Felse Evidence Appearing Real. Does it look as threatening to you now in light of your recent analysis?

9. Study your audience. What do you know about each board member? Remember, they are also human beings just like you. They probably value their health and families too, just like you do. What types of presentations are they used to. What do they favor? Each board member’s personal assistant can most likely answer these questions for you.

10. Plan your presentation. Make an outline using your expected time allotment. Determine which presentation tools, if any, that you will utilize. Do you need a drawing pad, a projector, a laptop or any other aid? Plan for all contingencies.

11. Rehearse your presentation several times until you are comfortable with it. Remember to do the thing you fear and the death of fear is certain. Rehearse again.

12. Remember, especially just before your actual presentation, that you and only you are now the expert on this particular subject within the confines of the boardroom. Be confident.

Remember what that famous 1960’s-70’s philosopher, “Broadway” Joe Namath, had to say in one of his commercials; “Look sharp, feel sharp… Be sharp.” Broadway Joe understood how to advance in the face or fear or adversity. He must have read Mark Twain.

These principles, altered slightly to fit any given situation, will always take the sting out of fear. “Do the thing you fear and the death of fear is certain.” That is absolute truth that does not change with the passage of time.

Overcome Fear: Day 1: Fear Not for God has redeemed us

Scripture: Isaiah 43:1: “But now, this is what the LORD says – he who created you, O Jacob, he who formed you, O Israel: ‘Fear not, for I have redeemed you; I have summoned you by name; you are mine'”

Are You Letting Fear Hold You Back?

Fear has a huge influence on our lives and choices. By fear, I mean self-doubt, worries and anxiety. We all have fears, as fear is part of human nature-yet, sometimes fear is totally unfounded.

When we act in spite of fear, it often turns out that what we feared was not as bad as we had imagined. Sometimes what you fear is external, but it can also be a monster that you create yourself in your mind.

Don’t Delay

The experience of embracing fear increases our strength and confidence. We can overcome fear if we acknowledge that we are afraid, try to look at the situation from different perspectives, and take action.

Instead of confronting fear, we often make excuses in order to avoid facing that which frightens us. This is because we consider fear something negative as opposed to positive. If you are afraid of failure, you can change your way of looking at it, as there is no success without failure.

The more you fail, the closer you are to success. Remember that everyone who has succeeded in life has been afraid and overcome fear. So can you.

Fear may also be a reason for procrastination, such as delaying or putting things off until the last possible moment. Are you good at finding excuses for not doing all those things you know that you should do and that would actually be very good for you to do?

Then take a look at the examples below of common reasons for waiting, which may result in waiting until it is too late. Is this you?

Until I have children, until my children leave home, until I lose 10 pounds, until I gain 10 pounds, until I have more money, until I get a divorce, until I get married, until next year, until I retire, until summer, until spring, until winter, until autumn.

There are many benefits of breaking the habit of delaying things. It will give you a relaxed feeling and freedom of choice-so you can select your priorities and think about your next project in advance.

Try to identify what distractions are problematic and how they hold you back; for example, a need to check your email or mobile phone for messages. Breaking down bigger tasks into smaller ones can enable you to place greater focus on every task. Giving yourself small rewards when you accomplish things may also help you avoid procrastinating.

Another piece of advice is to make yourself feel good before you start doing what you have been putting off. Find something that you know will put you in a good mood.

Daily Devotions: Day 2

Scripture: Matthew 11:28-30: “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light”

But, what happens when your fears begin to take over? Fear can control your life and keep you from following your dreams, prevent you from taking risks, and stop you from living the life that you want and doing the things which you desire. It doesn’t have to be this way! Fear can hold many people back, and one of the biggest mistakes that you might be making right now is taking your fear at face value.

What you need to understand is that fear can be both real and imagined, and it’s hard for your body and brain to differentiate between the two. Let’s look at two different situations to put this in perspective.

Much of our fear originates from what we learned when we were young. You learned to be careful, that you can’t do this or that, and to be aware of what other people will think.

However, just because people said things does not mean that they are true. The fears and doubts you have aren’t even yours. You can let go of your fears and remind yourself that you are perfect as you are and that you don’t need other people’s approval.

One way to handle fear is to write it down. Draw two columns on a sheet of paper. Write a plus sign above one of them and a minus sign above the other. Write down the advantages and disadvantages of the change or challenge you are facing.

When you are faced with a challenge, it is easy just to focus on risks. Is there any real risk or is it stepping out of the comfort zone that you fear? Remember all your previous challenges and fears. Did they change your life? Did you learn from them?

You need to ask yourself the following questions, When in my life have I faced fear and overcome it? What happened? When in my life have I faced fear and stopped myself? What happened?

One way of overcoming fear is to do what you are afraid of many times on a regular basis. This will make you feel relieved and proud of yourself, and strengthen your self-confidence.

For example, if you are afraid of speaking in front of a large group of people, you can overcome much of your fear by doing it many times. I realized this when I obtained a lectureship at a university.

You cannot be afraid of standing in front of students every day for many years. The fear and insecurity simply disappear over time.

Another good piece of advice when you are afraid of change is to take baby steps forward. Tiny steps are not frightening in the same way as big changes, yet you are changing. You could decide to do one little thing that frightens you every day, to overcome the fear that holds you back.

Another way to cure fear is to obtain sufficient knowledge about the situation that causes fear. What do you fear? Failure? Rejection?

I remember a student I had some years ago who was very afraid of many things in his studies and life. I asked him if he feared failure or success. I still remember very clearly what an eye-opener that question was for him. He had never thought about the fact that he could fear success, only failure. How about you?

Prayer Points

By the power in the name of Jesus, I refuse to fear, because God has not given me the spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind.

I command the spirit of fear to disappear from my life in the name of Jesus Christ.

I break every evil covenant that has brought fear into my life, in the name of Jesus.

I command every terror of the night that has brought fear into my life to stop and move from my environment, in the name of Jesus.

You spirit of fear, loose your hold upon my life and my family, in the name of Jesus.

I command all human agents using the spirits of fear to terrify me in the night to stumble and fall, in the name of Jesus.

The fear and terror of the unbelievers shall not be my lot, in the name of Jesus.

All arrangements of the devil concerning my home shall not stand; neither shall they come to pass, in the name of Jesus.

I destroy all efforts of the enemy to frustrate my work, in the name of Jesus.

I nullify every writing, agreement or covenant against my work, in the name of Jesus.

Father Lord, increase my greatness and comfort me on every side, in the name of Jesus.

O Lord, as You delight in my prosperity, I pray that You bless me indeed in my work.

Let no household enemy be able to control my well-being any longer, in the name of Jesus.

Daily Devotions: Day 3:

Scripture: (Psalm 23:4): “Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me”

Fear can be a product of two different things – it’s either due to reality, or a product of your imagination. In general, real fear will be felt by both you and others around you, and imagined fear will be personal to you alone. Imagined fear is generated by your beliefs and individual perspective of the world, which is why some people have fears which are completely incomprehensible to others.

For example, a person who fell into a lake as a small child may have a fear of water even into adulthood, whilst somebody who’s never had a scary experience with water could be a professional swimmer with absolutely no fear of scuba diving in the sea. This is because water in and of itself isn’t something to be fearful of, but your personal experience could make it scary for you.

In general, the fears which hold us back are these imagined fears which are personal to each and every one of us. Just because they’re imagined, however, doesn’t mean that they’re not real – they certainly feel very real to the person who is feeling them.

Conquering the fears which are holding you back relies on you getting down to the source. Discovering what causes your fears is key to facing them head on and taking control of your own life and happiness. Figuring out what you need to do to push your fears out of your life and no longer allow them to hold you back will involve putting everything into perspective and sifting out the irrational fears from the rational ones.

Why do we fear success? Doesn’t it seem a bit stupid? Don’t we all want to succeed? The fear of success is more widespread than you might think-and there may be many reasons for it.

You may fear the unknown or think you do not deserve the consequences and rewards of success. You may fear success because you believe it does not fit your own self-image or other people’s image of you. You may fear success because you are afraid other people will dislike it or envy you.

You may believe you are not worthy of success, or fear that the real you is stronger, more powerful and talented than you can handle. You may fear that you will be expected to perform at a higher level than before and face even greater challenges with the associated risk of falling flat on your face.

On the other hand, if you let fear hold you back from success you diminish your true self and allow fear to control your life.

You may also fear making a mistake or a wrong decision or choice. But instead of using the word wrong, you can look upon choices in another way, namely as good choices, the best or not the very best choices. In many cases, you won’t know until much later whether or not your choice was the best. However, you should bear in mind that you can always learn from a good or a less-good choice.

When you feel frightened, you are giving power to the fear. Fear, whether it is fear of failure, rejection or success, is so powerful that it can paralyze you. Don’t let fear do that and conquer you.

Ask yourself what you are afraid of: failure, rejection or success. Are you afraid of the feeling of failure, rejection or success-or of its outcome?

One way of handling a challenge is to think about courage instead of fear. When you do something in spite of your fear you are courageous. The word courage comes from the Latin word cor, meaning heart.

Courage is a habit you can learn through repetition, which implies facing the fear repeatedly. Courage is not the absence of fear, but resistance to fear.

It takes courage to step out of your comfort zone and face risks and challenges, to think big and to feel an inner joy of life. You feel safe in the comfort zone. You strive for security instead of opportunity when you are in your comfort zone.

You may also feel weak and helpless, considering that you are a victim of circumstances over which you have no control. Courage is not the absence of fear, it is the triumph over it, and reveals what you are truly capable of.

Courage enables you to face doubt and the criticism of other people. You can train your courage. The more often you are courageous and look fear in the face, the more courageous you will become. First of all, you may have to give yourself permission to be courageous and look upon yourself as a courageous person.

Prayer Points

My tomorrow is blessed in Christ Jesus, therefore, you spirit that is responsible for the fear of tomorrow in my life, I bind you, in the name of Jesus.

My destiny is attached to God, therefore I decree that I can never fail, in the name of Jesus.

Every bondage that I am subjecting myself to by the spirit of fear, I break you, in the name of Jesus.

All negative doors that the spirit of fear has opened in the past, be closed now, in the name of Jesus.

Every disease, oppression and depression that came into my life as a result of fear, disappear now, in the name of Jesus.

I refuse to be intimidated by any demonic nightmare, in the name of Jesus.

Every enchantment and invocation of fear being made against me, I neutralize you and I command you to fail, in the name of Jesus.

Every confederacy of the enemies in my home with the enemies outside shall not stand, in the name o f Jesus.

Daily Devotions: Day 4

Scripture: Philippians 4:6-7: “Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus”

Don’t be anxious – instead pray, ask, give thanks, be guarded by God’s peace. Once you know where it is that your fears come from and how to deal with them, you’ll become a braver and stronger person. Fear and anxiety can severely hold you back, and taking the steps to gain control over them and no longer allow them to rule your life is a process which will take time, effort and patience – but it will all be worth it in the end.

Many fears are a product of your own mind, whether it be going to the dentist, flying in a plane, or public speaking. Some fears are caused by a bad or even traumatic past experience, whilst others can be the product of influence from other people.

However, no matter how your fears were established, conquering them is entirely possible when you use the right steps and strategies.

Before you begin, it’s vital to understand that you will need to be patient with yourself. Fear is an extremely strong emotion, and the ‘fight or flight’ response generated by chemicals and hormones in the body can lead to different physical responses which can make facing and conquering your fears extremely difficult.

Prayer Points

Let all those who are against me without a cause in my place of work turn back and be brought to confusion, in the name of Jesus.

I close every door through which the enemies have been working against my work, in the name of Jesus.

No weapon of satan and his agents fashioned against me shall prosper, in the name of Jesus.

My life is hid with Christ in God, therefore nobody can kill me or harm me, in the name of Jesus.

I open wide all doors leading to my blessings, victory and breakthroughs which the enemies have closed, in the name of Jesus.

Let every territorial spirit working against us in our neighborhood be frustrated, bound and cast out, in the name of Jesus.

Let every power contrary to the power of God operating to suppress people in my area be neutralized, in the name of Jesus.

I bind every spirit of frustration, defeat, delayed blessing and fear in my environment, in the name of Jesus.

I banish every enemy of progress in my neighborhood, in the name of Jesus.

I bind the spirit of death, armed robbery and assassination in my neighborhood, in the name of Jesus.

I reject, renounce and destroy every evil agreement or covenant in the environment, in the name of Jesus.

By the blood of Jesus, I nullify the effects and operation of evil forces around my house, in the name of Jesus.

Lord, get all my stubborn pursuers occupied with unprofitable assignments, in the name of Jesus.

In Jesus’ mighty name, I fire back every arrow, spiritual bullets and satanic missiles fired at me.

O Lord, reveal the secrets and expose all my enemies masquerading as my friends.

Father Lord, make it impossible for my enemies to use my foot marks, urine, faeces, hair, clothing, and shoes.

Daily Devotions: Day 5:

Scripture: Matthew 6:25-34: “Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more important… ? Look at the birds… your Heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life? And why do you worry about clothes? See how the lilies of the field grow… Will he not much more clothe you, O you of little faith?… But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own”

When you decide to conquer your fears, you need to be aware of what this entails – at some point; you will need to face them. Although the prospect of this is initially terrifying for many, by the time you are ready it won’t seem quite as bad. This is why it’s important to be patient with yourself and resolve to take small steps towards achieving your goal of fearlessness.

Being kind to yourself is crucial when you are learning to conquer your fears, although you’ll need to get a healthy balance between self-care and self-motivation. Finding the balance between the two will involve changing your mind-set to include more confidence in yourself and a kinder attitude towards yourself and your feelings. Many of us beat ourselves up for feeling fears that we deem irrational; it’s crucial that you stop doing this and instead accept your fears rather than trying to fight them.

Prayer Points

Lord Jesus, I thank You for saving me and cleansing away my sin at the cross

I confess with my mouth that I belong to You. You are Lord over my life.The devil has no power over me because I am cleansed and covered by Your precious blood

I now confess all of my sins, known and unknown. I repent of them now. I ask You Lord, to forgive me in the name of Jesus

Dear Lord, help me to overcome my fear of being single

I rebuke the spirit of loneliness over my life, in the name of Jesus

I bind the spirit of fear of being by myself, in the name of Jesus

You spirit of fear, loose your hold upon my life, in the name of Jesus

Every bondage that I am subjecting myself to by this fear, I break you, in the name of Jesus

I reject the spirit of fear, I receive from you Lord, the spirit of power, love and sound mind in Jesus name

O Lord, increase my faith and fill me with Your Spirit, in the name of Jesus.

Daily Devotions Day 6:

Scripture: Psalm 111:10: “The fear of the LORD is the beginning of wisdom; all who follow his precepts have good understanding”

Accepting your fears is the crucial first step that you will need to take before trying any of the following strategies. Fighting a mental battle against yourself and your fears can make it significantly more difficult to gain any positive benefits from any of these strategies, which is why learning to be accepting is key. Learning to accept your fears can even create a sense of calm and positivity which you can’t gain from fighting them.

Take a deep breath, and tell yourself that you accept all of your fears – even the ones that you think are silly. Repeat this process as many times as you need throughout your journey to fearlessness!

Determining the source of your fears and anxieties is the first step that you will need to take in order to eventually be able to take control of your fears and manage them efficiently.

Knowing what is causing your fear is crucial to finding the solutions that you need, and at this point it is essential to prepare for some serious self-evaluation as well as the need to be completely honest with yourself.

You should also be aware that you may need to revisit some unhappy memories, therefore it’s vital to choose a time when you are feeling calm, relaxed and energized before you begin to explore the reasons for your fear.

Prayer Points

I break the power of evil remote control over my thought in the name of Jesus.

I seal off every doorway of evil uncontrollable thought in my life with the blood of Jesus in Jesus’ name.

I scatter into pieces every evil imagination against me in the name of Jesus.

I command all imaginations contrary to my prayer life to be defeated in the name of Jesus.

I cast down and bring to naught every demonic imagination against me and my family in Jesus’ name.

I immune my spirit, soul and body against every vain imagination in the name of Jesus.

I cast out, plunder and frustrate every satanic imagination against my life in the name of Jesus.

Lord, I pull down every stronghold of the enemy over my life in the name of Jesus.

I pull down and roast every demonic ladder the enemy is using to climb into my life in the name of Jesus.

I come against every evil pronouncement made against my life in the name of Jesus.

I arrest and bind every satanic notebook written against my life in the name of Jesus.

Daily Devotions: Day 7

Scripture: John 4:11, 18). “Dear friends, since God so loved us, we also ought to love one another… There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love”.

Discovering the reasons for your fear can also help to improve your confidence. For many people, not quite knowing why they’re scared of something can lead to even more feelings of fear – have you ever been scared of fear itself? This is why it’s important to invest time to do some serious soul-searching and delve deep into your memories to discover the sources of your fears, even the worst ones.

In order to discover the source of your fears, it’s important to self-evaluate. This process involves asking yourself a number of different questions, such as what your biggest fears are, what triggers feelings of fear and anxiety in you and which memories invoke the most anxious feelings in you.

The process may be difficult and could take some time as you unearth memories that you may not want to remember, therefore it’s important to take your time, be kind to yourself and give yourself a lot of self-love. You may find it helpful to go through this process with a trusted friend, family member, or even a professional therapist.

An easy way to help you to determine the source of your fears is to write them all down on paper. No matter how small or insignificant you may believe your fears to be, jot them all down in front of you, in order of the worst to the least.

Then, write down what you think may be the source of your fears next to them. For example, if you are afraid of driving due to being in an accident, write ‘driving – traffic accident’. If you come to a fear and you’re not sure why you feel it, don’t worry – just concentrate on the ones which you can determine the source of for now.

Prayer points

I pull down the stronghold of confusion in my life in the name of Jesus.

Every seat of confusion in my life, be broken down in the name of Jesus.

O Lord, Let the storm of confusion within my mind be still in the name of Jesus.

I decree and I declare that every cloud of confusion that has enveloped my mind, fade away now in the name of Jesus.

I reject every storm of confusion, and claim a sound mind in the name of Jesus.

I decree and I declare that every power that wants to destroy my life, shall be destroyed in Jesus’ name.

I decree and I declare that every faulty foundation in my life, shall receive the fire of God in the name of Jesus.

I fire back every arrow of mind destruction fired into my life back to the sender in the name of Jesus.

My mind, receive divine touch of God and be relieved in the name of Jesus.

Lord strengthen me in my inner mind with Your fire and Your power in the name of Jesus.

I pull down every stronghold of uncontrollable thought in my life in the name of Jesus.

I cast down every evil imagination in my heart in the name of Jesus.

I bring into captivity every area of my thought life to the obedient of Christ in the name of Jesus.

If one is going through a challenging time, it could be because they are having trouble at work. Perhaps someone they work with is making their job harder than it needs to be, or the company they work for could be downsizing.

As a result of this, one might spend a lot of time worrying about if they are going to lose their job. This could be something that will only affect them, or it could be far worse if they have a family.

A Close Relationship

Alternatively, one could be in a relationship that is not going very well; the other person might have just had an affair, for instance. The person they love has then let them down, and they might not know what to do.

At the same time, it might not be this severe, and one could be with someone who they are no longer attracted to. Part of them might want to break up with them, but another part might want to carry on as normal.

Another Area

On the other hand, what is taking place within them could be what is causing them to suffer. This could show that one spends a lot of time feeling down, and it could then be a challenge for them to do anything with their life.

It could be hard enough for them to get out of bed, let alone for them to actually go out into the world. One could find that they have only just started to feel this way, or it might be how they have been for as long as they can remember.

A Gradual Decline

If they haven’t experienced life in this way for very long, they may find that their life is gradually getting worse. Instead of going out and spending time with friends, they might prefer to stay in.

And while there may have been plenty of things that they enjoyed doing in the past; they might not feel like doing anything anymore. One then has the same name, but they are not the same person.

A Different Problem

There is also the chance that one is not depressed, or if they are, it is not something they experience all the time. One could find that they suffer from anxiety, and this is going to make it harder for them to handle their everyday life.

This could be something that they experience more or less all the time, or it might arise during certain situations. If they were to think about how long their life has been this way for, they may find that it is a fairly recent occurrence.

The Contrast

Due to this, one might be able to remember how much easier their life used to be. One could think about something in their life that they used to do without even thinking about it and, if they were to do this now, they could end up feeling overwhelmed.

For example, they might have enjoyed spending time with others, but this could be something that they now avoid. This will cause them to miss out, but it will also stop them from having to lose control.

No Where to Run

However, if one experiences anxiety more or less all the time, it might not matter where they are. Therefore, one could feel this way when they are at work and when they are around their friends.

One could then find that the only time they don’t experience anxiety is when they are asleep. Yet even if they are asleep, they could find that this is something that has an effect on the kind of dreams that they have.

Part of Life

If one has been this way for as long as they can remember, they are not going to be able to think about how their life used to be. As far as they are concerned, this could be just how life is.

It is then not something that they can change, it is something they have to put up with. What this could then mean is that someone like this is less likely to reach out for support than someone who hasn’t always experienced life in this way.

Reaching Out

But with that aside, if one was to look into what they can do to change their life, they might go to see their doctor. This could be a time when they are offered some kind of medication, or they might end up being referred to a behavioural therapist, for instance.

If they go on medication, they are not going to have the chance to look into why they are experiencing anxiety. And, if they have behavioural therapy, they are likely on focus on what is taking place in their mind.

On The Surface

One is then not going take the time to gain a deeper understanding of themselves, or they won’t look into what is taking place in their body. Taking drugs can be seen as another form of repression, and focusing purely on the mind can be seen as another way for one to avoid how they feel.

Now, this is not to say that there is not a time and a place for someone to go on medication or that it is wrong to focus on the mind. What it comes down to is that this is not always going to be the best approach, and the answers are not always going to be found in the mind.

Going Deeper

The body is where emotional pain is carried, and so it is not much of a surprise that the mind is given most of the attention in today’s world. By staying on the surface, there is no reason for one to embrace how they feel in their body

If one was to get in touch with what is taking place in their body, they may find that there is a reason why they experience anxiety. They may find that they have a fear of being harmed, and this is why they are on edge from time to time (or all the time.)

Why is this?

What this illustrates is that anxiety is not always the main problem; it can simply be what is taking place on the surface. Anger is the same in this regard, as it can allow someone to avoid other feelings.

If one does have a fear of being harmed, it could be the result of what took place when they were younger. This could have been a time when they were abused and/or neglected by their caregiver/s.

Awareness

So, although time has passed, the trauma they experienced all those years ago is still in their body. In order to change their life, it is going to be vital for them to deal with what is taking place in their body.

This is something that can take place with the assistance of a therapist or a healer.

Like I've said before, I idolize the Author, Elizabeth Gilbert. I have learned so many things from her latest book Big Magic, but probably the biggest was that you needed fear to be creative, you just can't let it drive the minivan. It has to come along, but it has to sit in the back seat, with absolutely no contribution.

So diving in head first after discovering my passion last week, I decided to tackle my biggest fear in baking. Seed Culture. Two of the scariest words to me, well that and Barm and Starter. Unless you're a baker, you probably have no idea what I'm talking about. These are what you use to make beautiful and delicious variations of wild yeast bread. A task I was always afraid to try, but I've decided NOT to let fear drive the minivan, and I am taking control of this road trip.

Rob's favorite type of bread is Rye Bread and because I do not have a favorite type of bread, I decided to make Rye Bread. I dug out my copy of The Bread Baker's Apprentice and looked for the recipe and thought why would you want to limit yourself to just one type of bread when there are so many options. After reading the process of creating a Seed Culture, Barm and Starter, I started to hyperventilate a bit.

I sat on the couch and thought for a second. Why was I so afraid all these years to create a starter? Afraid to the point of getting that uneasy feeling in the pit of my stomach. I think it's because in my eyes if I couldn't start a successful Seed Culture, which would result in a successful Barm, which would result in a successful Starter, which would eventually result in a successful loaf of bread, I could no longer consider myself a successful baker. I realized it was ridiculous to think that way, but isn't most fear-driven thinking ridiculous?

It's not like I'd be investing a lot of money, it's just flour, water, and pineapple juice to begin with and then a few weeks from now it will just be some more ingredients and presto Rye bread; I hoped. So it wasn't the fear of spending a ton of money and failing, it was, quite honestly, just the fear of failing.

So I went to the grocery store and got everything I needed to start the process, sat it on the counter and just looked at it all sitting there. Then I walked away from the counter, took a deep breath went back to the kitchen and proceeded to make a Cranberry Upside-down Cake instead. Something comfortable, easy and familiar, however, all the ingredients for the Seed Culture just mocked me on the counter. So I picked up the cookbook and started to process. It took a total of 5 minutes, maybe. Every day it was a process with the seed culture and starter. You have to feed it, you have to love it, and you have to nurture it. It's like anything that is worthwhile you have to put in the time and time I have.

Like most things, when I decided not to let fear drive the minivan, it was easy, it was fun, and it was actually relaxing. I woke up every morning, pulled out the Seed Culture, took a deep breath of the smell of fermenting flour and pineapple juice, fed it more flour and juice, tuck it into it's warm container on the stove and went about my day.

In the end, it ended up being a failure, but no one died. The world didn't stop spinning. I didn't fall into a puddle onto the floor. I just threw out the two cups of sticky, smelly goo that had taken me four days to create, and poured myself a cup of coffee. As I sat on the couch with my coffee, I reached for The Bread Baker's Apprentice book and started turning the pages.

It's interesting to me how fear has the ability to overwhelm all your logical thinking and take over life. I wonder how many things we miss out on because we let fear take over our decision-making process. We allow it to drive the minivan. I am trying my best not to let that happen anymore, I hope you don't either.

I remember that there were moral value classes in my school and it was decided that we would be taught Bhagwad Geeta to instill certain ethics in us, which would be beneficial in the long run. I would like to share the same here before we come to the main point. So there was a time when Lord Krishna told Arjun, who was supposed to fight for his territory, that he would be killed by his fears before he would even start fighting the war! So he was asked to gather all his strength and fight with full might- first with his fear and then with the opponent army.

The reason I have brought this point here is that fear indeed is the biggest enemy of human beings and most of the times we lose our life’s battles because of that. Now you must be thinking, how is it related to addiction?

Let us start connecting it with a few examples related to an addict’s life.

1. Sam is a weed addict, who has planned a trip to Goa. He plans to be there for 3 days and collects his substance according a week before he leaves. He scores 3 grams more than what he generally scores. Why?

2. Mike is a heroin addict. He is left with money just enough to reach college. He knows that he would not be given his pocket money before the new month starts. There are still 2 days left for that. He chases all his left stuff in one go, due to anxiety. Why?

3. There is an order from the court- No more cigarettes to be sold. Matt collects 100 boxes from different shops. Why?

Answer to all the questions remains the same and that is FEAR. Sam is scared, what if his weed gets over before his trip ends. Mike is scared, how would he sustain those two days and what if he does not get the money to buy more? Matt is scared, what if he won’t get his next stick of cigarette?

There are various fears that an addict holds. It is not just related to his substance, but various situations that he encounters in his life. And these fears might even display paradoxes like existence of fear of change and fear of constancy or no change! Fear of others and before that fear of oneself! Fear of non conformity in peer group and fear of relapse at the same time! So we can say that fear indeed is a powerful motivator. It can make any human do anything, rather it brings people in a Do Or Die situation.

Power to Make Your Fears Come True Can Be Used As The Power To Make Positive Assertions Come True Too

I have often heard this from people “Whatever you fear, it would definitely come true. But if you think of something positive, it might not come to pass.” It is a myth. It is all in your mind. If you have the energy to get your fears manifested into reality, then you can utilize the same amount of energy in getting positive things created.

Connecting it with addicts, they always have this fear that their trepidations are going to strike them hard in reality. They want to escape them.

We all work as per our convenience. So when an addict wants to take his substance, he would think of various alibis. He would speak about his bad experiences in life. But what about the ‘Bad Trips’ of drugs that he had? Would he ever say that I don’t want to do drugs anymore because I vomited and lost my senses after I took it? But yes, he would definitely say that I don’t want to feel happy without drugs, because if I do, I will lose my reason of happiness!

School of thought of Humanistic Existentialism says that we all have a purpose to live. There is nothing that humans do without a reason. Addicts consider all the negative reasons to live. They choose to keep themselves scared of happiness and joy without drugs.

What Needs To Be Actually Done Instead Of Fearing Situations

Recognition of Thoughts- reckon what exactly your thoughts and feelings are.

Gain Control Over Them- after you know accept your thoughts and feelings, you control them. It is your mind, so do not let it control you, but you control it.

Reason Them Out- since there would be various thoughts at a time, so you need to reason out with your understanding what their implication on your life could be or has been.

Look at the Practicality of Solutions Your Mind Gives- once you have seen what repercussions you have faced because of your actions, you must introspect with consequential thinking and give your thoughts a reality check to see the possibility of putting them down into practice.

In case of a Positive Response from the Mind, Get it into Reality- finally, if you think that there is something positive that you can practice, you must just do it.

We know that it is not that easy to change that fearful streak. But you have perfected your fear through constant practice, you can perfect confidence and taking the right decisions through practice too. You or your loved ones need rehabilitation if you think that there are too many fears bothering your or their mind and you or they are unable to quit using any psychoactive substance.

Try it at least. And see how well it works. You know, there is always light at the tunnel end.

In my last lesson on conquering the fear of public speaking I talked about the part of your brain known as the amygdala which is your fight or flight mechanism.

When you are faced with a life-or-death threat you feel overwhelmed and you go into a state of mental paralysis. You can't think straight! That's because your amygdala, doing what it's supposed to do, comes to your rescue and shuts down all functions not necessary to your survival. Things like appetite, digestion, rational thinking, creative thinking and sexual desire all get turned off so that all of your energies can be directed toward either fight or flight.

The downside to your wonderful amygdala is that it will go into this protection mode even in non -life threatening situations. Whenever you are faced with something new or unnerving that overwhelms you such as taking an important test or having to give a speech, the amygdala goes into action and shuts down all functions not necessary to your survival.

The problem is that when you have to do a speech, you need your creative and rational thinking capabilities. You want to take purposeful action but your amygdala is preventing you from doing it because it thinks it has to save you!

What we need to do is tiptoe past the amygdala so that we don't wake it up. We can't alert the amygdala to danger. The way we do that is to attack the problem, issue or fear in small steps – very small steps so that overwhelm never comes into play to trigger the amygdala.

This brings us to the centuries-old Chinese technique known as kaizen. Kaizen is the art of taking small steps to accomplish big things. How to use this technique is explained beautifully in a book by Dr. Ronaldo Robert Maurer, Ph.D., One Small Step Can Change Your Life The Kaizen Way.

The following is an example from Dr. Kelly Maurer's book. He tells the story of a woman named Julie, a divorced mother of two under heavy pressure at her job, overweight, out of shape, in poor health and was flirting ultimately with diabetes and heart disease.

Mauer watched Julie's heart sink when her physician gave her the worn-out advice to go on a diet and exercise. She went into a state of overwhelm. Between the kids, the job and other pressures, diet and exercise were out of the question even though she knew that's the one thing that would save her! Just when she needed rational thinking, motivation and drive, her amygdala shut it all down.

The physician was a bit more than peeved when Dr. Mauer asked Julie, "How about if you just marched in place in front of the television for one minute each day?" Julie brightened up. She could do that!

Did marching in place for one minute each day turn Julie into the picture of health? Of course not! What was important was that Julie had a breakthrough. If she could do one minute a day, what else was possible? Soon Julie was marching for an entire commercial break during the television show. She then pushed herself to march for the entire show. Julie is now involved in aerobics and is well on her way to dealing with and conquering her health issues.

Julie tiptoed past her amygdala. By starting with just one minute a day there was no overwhelm. Her amygdala was never alerted. Then she added a little more to her routine. Then a little more and all the while, the amygdala remained asleep.

In our next lesson, we'll apply Kaizen to getting through that speech you're dreading!

One of the greatest skills you can learn and grow in is sales and specifically phone selling or telesales. Granted early in your professional career, you may not understand the value of learning how to sell let alone the benefits that this skill could afford you in other areas of your life, trust me, you won’t regret it. Typically, if your like most people, when you think of sales, you picture the dishonest, fast talking sales person that’s looking to get over on you by selling you something you don’t want or rarely need. Sadly, this happens everyday and much to the dismay of the true art and science of sales. Yes, whether selling is face to face or over the phone, it is an art and science that’s teachable. We all owe a great debt to individuals such as Tom Hopkins, Brain Tracy, and Zig Ziglar for giving the industry of sales its professional context.

Why Do Most People Shy Away from Sales

Simply fear of the unknown. Well, maybe a close second is fear of failure. See, in the world of sales, you are forced to come out of your comfort zone or the zone of me, myself and I and interact with the outside world. This is a pretty scary notion for most if not all people. It’s rather comfortable to just stay to yourself and not interact with others unless you have to. Well, if that’s how you’re living life professionally, then you don’t know what you’re missing. By engaging in the lives of others professionally in the world of sales, you learn that you help add value to people’s lives. You get to add value to others by helping to solve their problems and aiding them in doing their jobs better.

Ultimately, the foundation of successful sales is the motivation to serve others more than you’re willing to serve yourself. I believe it was Zig Ziglar that said, “You can get everything in life you want if you will just help enough other people get what they want. So, overcome your fears, desire to serve more than being served, and learn to sell.

Self-doubt, uncertainty and fear are all emotions that can impact a person’s ability to start-up a new business. Many entrepreneurs feel the pressure of investors, partners and employees relying on them. In order to overcome the mental roadblocks that can slow progress, there needs to be a wholehearted commitment in every area of building a successful business.

Here are a few things to consider in the process of starting a business:

Set attainable goals

A first step to starting a successful business is to create an overall company mission, which is then broken down into a series of achievable tasks. These small tasks can be used much like stepping-stones in the process of reaching the final target. Plus, this will make the process of starting a business seem less intimidating and also gives a clear outline of the work that needs to be completed as the business grows.

Also, in the early stages of starting the business it isn’t necessary to be a perfectionist. Start to set-up a professional looking website and test the service or product. Any fine tuning can be completed before the service is finally launched to the public.

Build up a solid foundation

Building a solid foundation and passionate community is essential from the very early stages of putting a business together. It is essential to have the right support in place to give time to reach the intended goals. While a lot of passion and determination is great, there is also a need to have a certain level of financial stability. The basic foundation to have in place is likely to include the keen customers, partners and investors. Each of these groups will help to achieve the desired financial success. Talk to as many people as possible when starting out to create a useful support system that will help build a lot of confidence and guidance.

Invest the right amount of time

In the early stages of starting a business it can be difficult to set the most ideal work-life balance. In the beginning, there will be a need to invest a lot of energy and time into the business to see the successful results. However, in time the business will start to have less of an impact on relationships and personal life. Plus, with a proper support system in place, this will further help to make a business owner’s day-to-day life easier. It helps to have an understanding with other people in your life that won’t leave you feeling guilty about the amount of time spent working.

While many people will think up ideas for a business product or solution, only a very few will actually take the leap and attempt to pursue their dream and build a business based on that idea. Questioning and vulnerability are typical with all types of decisions, but with the proper focus and commitment there is every possibility of getting a successful business up and running.

Intuition can produce feelings, emotions, sounds, images, physical sensations, dreams, heightened awareness and distractions. Everyone has intuition. Sometimes it's subtle and other times it's quite pronounced or even startling. For people who haven't had any training in how to work with their intuition, the experience of being intuitive can lead to empathic overload, fatigue, disillusionment, and confusion about what's real, what's being imagined, what's being projected, what's coming from a higher (wiser) place and what's not. Listening to intuition can be just as disturbing as attempts to ignore it because the messages may seem emotionally loaded while also being cryptic or lacking any clear direction as to how to make use of that information – much less what higher purpose it's serving or how to digest the emotional aspects of it.

By learning to recognize and work with your intuition effectively, you can create a greater feeling of purpose, direction, clarity, inner peace and spiritual connection in your life. Learning how to ground your sixth sense in the practical world is essential in navigating relationships, careers, financial decisions, life transitions, and personal growth.

The following 8 tips may help you to recognize the workings and value of your intuition and offer clarity about the difference between the fear-based mind and the intuitive, wise self:

1. The purpose of your intuition is to guide you – not to scare you. Any fear-based response you have is coming from your mind – not your higher self.
2. Cryptic messages are not necessarily warnings. They may just be an attempt from the universe to get your attention. Don't jump to conclusions. Instead, take time to listen and engage (calmly) with the energy contained within those messages. Take some deep breaths and ask your higher self for clarity.
3. If you find yourself stirred up by your intuitive downloads, stop what you're doing and breath deeply again. Then ask your spiritual power why you're picking up that information or energy and what you can do with it. Give yourself some time to receive an answer. It may not come to you immediately. It may take several days and calm space before another message presents itself. With practice, you can learn to dialogue with your intuition so that it becomes more useful to you.
4. If you're on empathic overload, ask yourself what emotional issues may be getting activated within yourself. What inner demons are unresolved? When you're already stirred up (or in denial) about your own emotional process, it's likely that you'll over-identify with someone else's pain. That leads to a merging of your pain and someone else's and a situation that's emotionally, psychically, and energetically murky.
5. Do a reality check about whether your inner rescuer has been activated. Are you yearning to fix someone else? Is that your pattern? It is for a lot of empathic people as they have a tendency to try to save everyone else rather than working on themselves. Keep in mind that you'll be less effective in helping anyone else if your own emotions and energy are stirred up.
6. If you're constantly on the go, your energy will race and you may be more likely to feel anxious. Giving yourself time-outs, time in nature, walks, hikes, swims, meditation, massage, quiet time at home and other self-care modalities will help to ground your energy and decrease your fear response.
7. If your instincts are telling you something and you respond with an argumentative statements, you may be ignoring your own intuition.
8. Keep a journal of the intuitive messages that you receive – even if you're unsure of what they mean. Over time, you may find that the messages come together in a more coherent manner.

There are a number of books and courses to help you develop your intuition. It may seem frustrating at first. But if you commit to spending time several days each week settling into a calm inner space, asking for guidance from your higher self and simply allow yourself to be present with whatever images, words, sensations, feelings or sense of knowing that comes to you – free of judgement and scrutiny – you'll be well on your way to developing your intuition.