There is an old saying that goes something like this…”To those that have…more shall be given”. I don’t know if those are the exact words but the principle is the same. Scarcity is a Powerful Proven Persuasion technique and one that can be effectively used to help get your ex back.

As well, when people are clearly uncertain or still questioning the course of action they want to take, they look to others for Social Proof. And combined with Scarcity or the thought o truly losing you, the persuasive power is doubled.

First off, I am assuming that you and the one you were with have parted ways. Probably not your idea, or you wouldn’t be here looking for ways to get them back. If so you are not likely to think this is something you want to do yet rest assured it can be effective…and at the same time good for your own mental health.

You’ve decided you want your loved one back but they will have nothing to do with you. So… instead of sitting there and pining away, anguishing over what they are doing or who they are with: get out and go on a date!

Yes…date.

Now notice. I did not say run around bedding everyone you think you can. Nor did I say rebound and fall in love with someone etc. I said date. Find other people and go out. Have fun. Take your mind off of your current desire to get back with your ex.

Now there are a couple of points that are important to note here. First be ethical and honest about your reasons for dating. Make sure the other person knows you are just looking to get out and have some fun and meet some new people. You are not looking for a long-term relationship.

Second, in order to be effective your ex has at some point to be aware of the fact that you are dating. Otherwise, there is no impact on their decision or desire to have you back.

So here they have a situation where, if they are undecided about your future, the fact they could lose you will help move them back towards you. And the fact that you are dating others means that if others are finding you attractive and fun to be with then maybe there is something they have missed or need to look at again.

So if you want to get your ex back, and they are still uncertain or not in your life, get out and date. It will increase your desirability in their eyes and at the same time…it can’t hurt your your ego and mental health to be seen with other attractive people.

Here’s to moving from Breakup to Makeup.
Brad

If you are in the middle of a child custody battle, you may be dealing with a custody evaluation as part of the court’s procedure. Evaluation meetings can be a challenge, especially when you don’t know what to do – which is something that may further complicate your case. However, it is significantly important to understand that the person evaluating your child custody case will have recommendations that are not a legal requisite in any way. But their suggestions and advice does hold a lot of weight and could very well convince the judge for or against the custody agreement that you are hoping to attain.

Going out of your way to present yourself as favorable is not a bad thing to do; it is completely natural. But as a father, you should know the following dos and don’ts of child custody evaluations.

DOS

1. Show willingness to work with your ex-wife – There are some parents who have lost child custody battles simply because they showed lack of collaborative effort and cooperation with each other. Remember that you don’t have to like your ex, but keep in mind that they are still a part of your child’s life, which is why you need to demonstrate to the court your ability to work together.

2. Speak to your child (children) about what to expect – It is never easy for a child to have feuding parents. They may also be hesitant to meet the evaluator in the fear that they may say something wrong. Clearly explain to them that the role of the evaluator is to help you and your ex-wife learn how to collaborate more efficiently, and that there is no “right” or “wrong” answers to the questions that will be asked.

3. Educate yourself about family law- refer to the laws of child custody that are relevant to the state you live in so that you will know what to expect in advance.

4. Prepare your documentation – In instances where you truly believe the safety of your children will be at stake with your partner, for example, because she has a history of physical abuse – then you should cautiously document her interactions with your children, as well as with yourself.

5. Be yourself – Don’t worry about putting on a good show. Instead, be honest and more importantly, be yourself. Be specific and answer only what was asked.

DON’TS

1. Do not prepare your children to say certain things – This never ends well. If the evaluator suspects that you have taught your children to say specific things, they will suspect that you are hiding something or trying to take advantage of the system.

2. Do not speak ill about your ex-wife – Avoid any chance to indulge in negative talk about your ex. The professional has heard all of it before, and it only shows that you aren’t ready to cooperate.

3. Do not go against the court orders – Lastly, be very cautious throughout the process of evaluation to ensure you are not going against any court rules or violating any orders regarding parenting time or visitation.

With the changes in family law over the last 30 years, including the adoption of equitable distribution in place of the old common-law rules, the adoption of laws protecting military spouses, and the adoption of support guidelines and various local rules promulgated within the various circuits, the area of separation and divorce has become much too complicated and specialized for someone who does not regularly handle these types of cases. It distresses us when clients come to us with poorly drafted separation agreements, and/or decrees which other inexperienced attorneys have handled. Just as it is better to win at trial than to have a great appeal issue, it is much better to have the right attorney, one who will get it right the first time, than to have to pay someone to fix problems stemming from errors made in the first place. Sometimes the errors are very costly and cannot be fixed as shown in the series of articles I wrote for The Family Law News, a peer review publication of the Virginia State Bar, Section of Family Law, entitled “Costly Errors in Multi-State Military Divorce; Or a Military Wife’s Tale of Woe,” which are published in the Fall 2007 and Spring 2008 issues of the publication.

The series of articles outlines the legal authorities, strategy and procedural points we used to successfully defend a military retiree, who was a veteran of the Vietnam War. His ex-wife was attempting to obtain half of his military retired pay and spousal support here in Virginia, despite having divorced him six years earlier in Hawaii. While we are always happy to achieve a successful outcome for our clients, we felt sorry for the ex-wife, who had received poor legal advice from hr attorney in the original divorce action in Hawaii, advice that lead to poor decisions which the Virginia Court found to bind her permanently. In ruling for us in the case, the judge told the ex-wife that instead of suing her ex-husband, show should go after the attorney in Hawaii who represented her in the divorce.

So, how do you go about finding a good divorce lawyer? Here are a few suggestions:

Suggestion #1-Ask a Lawyer

If you know a lawyer, ask him/her for a referral to a good divorce lawyer. He or she will probably know someone or several someones who devote a significant portion of the practice of law to separation and divorce and related issues. For example, I have been handling separation and divorce for 30 years and have an excellent reputation among the local legal community. Any divorce attorney worth his/her salt should have established a reputation among other lawyers. Lawyers generally know who is good for a particular type of case; they certainly know who they would see, if they were facing separation and divorce.

Suggestion #2-Yellow Pages/Internet

While not a great source of information, the Yellow Pages and internet can be a beginning source of attorney names. Lawyers who do not mention separation, divorce, military divorce, and related areas like custody and support or property division, are not seeking cases in those areas and certainly don’t devote a significant portion of the practice to those areas. Be leery of ads that include a laundry list of everything under the sun. Remember the old saying, “a jack of all trades and master of none”? Wouldn’t you rather have someone who takes the time to focus at least a significant amount of time to family law, than someone who maybe devotes 3% of his/her practice to family law issues? Remember not everyone advertises in the Yellow Pages or haw a website or internet presence.. For example, there are more telephone listings than there are attorney ads in the Yellow Pages.

SUGGESTION # 3-VIRGINIA LAWYER REFERRAL SERVICE

The Virginia Lawyer Referral Service is operated by the Virginia State Bar. Lawyers must ask to get on the list and must agree to a fixed fee for an initial consultation. A lawyer can be listed under any category he/she asks for. The names are on a rotating list and given to consumers who contact the service. Again, not all attorneys are listed. We are not listed with the referral service. This resource can provide the name of an attorney who is seeking family law cases. This does not mean that the attorney is an expert in these types of cases or that he/she is experienced. All it means is that he or she is seeking divorce cases. Be sure to take the questions I talk about here to the attorney interview.

Suggestion #4-Talk to More Than One Attorney

In fact, interview several attorneys. Ask each attorney who else handles separation and divorce in the area. If they won’t give you names, leave the office, when you see names showing up on various lists of recommendations, the odds are probably good that the attorney is doing these cases on a regular basis.

Suggestion #5 – Use a Checklist

I have outlined factors that you should consider when selecting a divorce lawyer.

A. Experience. The longer you have been practicing a particular area of the law, the more you know. There is an old adage that says a good lawyer knows the law and a great lawyer knows the judge! What is the difference between a good lawyer and a great lawyer? Experience.

B. Experience Trying Cases. Has he/she achieved any trial successes for his/her clients? Can the lawyer point to case results or client testimonial reflecting his/her abilities?

C. Are they willing to settle when appropriate to do so? Trial attorneys sometimes suffer from a hired gun mentality. They like the thrill of trying cases and may not consider other options, such as mediation or arbitration to achieve a resolution. Most good divorce attorneys do not adopt this approach, but see trial as a last resort, when other options have failed to precipitate a fair resolution of the issues. Unlike other areas of the law, family law often entails ongoing relationships and consequently requires a different perspective. I recently read an article by a personal injury attorney, who was writing on how to choose a personal injury lawyer. He said not to choose a lawyer who settles a lot of cases. When it comes to separation and divorce, I believe it is important to try to reach an agreement, if you can.

Going to court about family law unless you have to is like using a sledge hammer on a flea problem; you may kill a few fleas, but you wreak a lot of damage to the structure of the house, too. When individuals settle their own cases outside of court, they can be a lot more creative than the court would be in fashioning a remedy that is fair to both parties. Sometimes, agreement is just not possible. When that is the case, you want an experienced able divorce attorney who can advocate for your position in court and has a proven track record of success.

D. Respect in the legal community. What are other lawyers saying about this lawyer? Has the lawyer lectured or taught? Has he/she taught other lawyers?

E. Publications. Has he/she written anything that has been accepted for publication in legal journals? This is another sign of respect for the lawyer and for his/her skills and experience. Has he/she written or published anything designed to educate the public as to their rights duties and responsibilities under the law?

F. Affiliations and memberships. What professional affiliations does the attorney have? Is he/she a member of the Family Law Section of the Virginia State Bar Association? A member of the Virginia Trial Lawyers? A fellow of the American Academy of Matrimonial Attorneys?

G. Does the attorney limit the number of cases he/she undertakes? We don’t take every case that calls in or walks through the door. We limit the number of cases that we undertake to handle at a given point in time so that we an focus on doing the best job for those clients.

H. Relationship issues.

1. How was the telephone answered when you called for an appointment?

2. How were you greeted when you entered the office? Were you offered refreshments?

3. Did the attorney and staff listen to you? Are you sure? Could you tell they were listening?

4. Were you interrupted during your time with the lawyer?

5. Does the attorney use written agreements setting out the parameters of the representation and the financial arrangements?

6. One of the most important aspects of choosing a lawyer is the relationship aspect: you need to be able to work effectively and comfortably with your lawyer. The relationship requires intimacy and trust. Do you feel comfortable with the attorney?

7. Were you introduced to staff?

8. How long does the attorney retain files on closed cases? What happens to the closed file? How is it disposed of? What steps does the attorney take to safeguard your confidential information?

I. Why does he/she practice divorce law? Friends and colleagues think I’m crazy to devote so much time to separation and divorce law. They may be right, I just may be a little crazy. But like the song says, “it just may be a lunatic you’re looking for.” When interviewing a potential divorce lawyer be sure to ask him/her why they choose to practice family law. Does the lawyer have a life experience that allows him/her to advocate for divorce clients with genuine passion? Is that passion something that is reflected in client testimonials?

J. Cost. Unlike personal injury practice, the best divorce lawyers do not offer “free” consultations. You will notice that cost is last on the list. In our experience, the best divorce lawyers are generally not the cheapest. In the long run, what is it worth to you to retain or acquire your fair share of the assets that have been accumulated over the course of your married life? What is it worth to you to insure that you retain your fair share of time with your children? Some things are worth fighting for and worth the price that you have to pay.

If your attorney does not devote a significant portion of his/her practice to family law issues, has never tried a contested divorce, has never tried a contested custody case or who has never tried an equitable distribution case, or drafted a qualified domestic relations order dividing a pension, or who has no experience in military divorce and has never drafted a military retired pay order, you may want to choose another lawyer for your separation and divorce.

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Should you send flowers to ex girlfriend? This is a very complicated question because it seems very awkward to send anything to someone who is no longer in a relationship with you. Furthermore, you may think that this gesture is already very outdated and corny, and doing so will just make you the subject of laughter. However, you must understand that there are no such things as outdated and corny when it comes to love. You must already know that women will actually appreciate whatever is given to them whether it is a jewelry piece, chocolates, and even love poems. But since you are giving it to a person who will not normally expect receiving something from you, you might want to consider a few things.

Should you send flowers to ex girlfriend? You can but you should consider the kind. Any kind will actually do because as they say, it is the thought that counts. However, since you are giving it to a very unlikely person, you should stay away from extraordinary and out of the box gifts. It will be best if you start off with traditional roses. Common sense dictates that it should be red, not blue, yellow, or black. For your next gift, you can try other species such as pink carnations and even a simple stem of daisy or calla lily.

Should you send flowers to ex girlfriend? You can do it but only if you do it once a week. Receiving any kind of gift in a daily basis will lose its magic because it is supposed to be special. If you are used to receiving one, it may seem like just any other thing. To make it special, try to send a bouquet once a week and at varying days. This can also be very advantageous for you because it will not hurt your wallet and you can think of other gimmicks that will come with the flowers.

Should you send flowers to ex girlfriend? Do it if you really want to be with her again. If you are sending out gifts to your former partner she will naturally think that you want to be reconciled with her. Make sure that you are consistent with your feelings so that she will not be confused as to your intentions for doing so.

It necessary that you take into consideration what she will think if you make these sweet gestures. So the answer to the question should you send flowers to ex girlfriend: you can but it depends.

God is good to all and His mercies are upon all of His works (Psalms 145:9): Rabbi Levi said, “‘God is good to all,’ upon all, that He is their maker.” Rabbi Samuel said, “‘God is good to all and His mercies’ – upon all that are His traits, He has mercy.” Rabbi Joshua of Sakhnin said in the name of Rabbi Levi, “‘God is good to all’ and His merciful ones He give to His creatures.” Rabbi Tanchuma and Rabbi Abba bar Avin [said] in the name of Rabbi Aha, “Tomorrow a famine will arrive and the creatures will have mercy, these upon those, and the Holy One, blessed be He, will be filled with mercy on them.”

In the days of Rabbi Tanchuma, Israel required a fast (to bring about rain). They came to [Rabbi Tanchuma and] said to him, “Rabbi, decree a fast.” [So] he decreed a fast on the first day, on the second day, on the third day and rain did not fall. He got up and expounded to them. He said to them, “My children, have mercy, these upon those, and the Holy One, blessed be He, will be filled with mercy on you.” While they were still distributing charity to the poor, they saw a man giving money to his ex-wife. They came to [Rabbi Tanchuma] and said to him, “Rabbi, how are we sitting here [while] there is a sin here.” He said [back] to them, “What did you see?” They said to him, “We saw Mr. x give money to his ex-wife.” They sent for them and they brought them in front of the community. [Rabbi Tanchuma] said to him, “What is she to you?” He said [back] to him, “She is my ex-wife.” He said to him, “Why did you give her money?” He said to him, “Rabbi, I saw her in distress and I was filled with mercy on her.” At that time, Rabbi Tanchuma lifted his head towards above and said, “Master over the worlds, just like this one that does not have an obligation to sustain [her] saw her in distress and he was filled with mercy for her, all the more so, You, that it is written about You, ‘Compassionate and Merciful’ and we are the children of Your friends, Abraham, Isaac and Jacob, will You be filled with mercy on us.” Immediately, rains fell and the world was irrigated.

(Genesis Rabbah 33:3)

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Alright you have just been through a break up and you want to get your ex back; don’t worry this is not as hard as it first seems. A good way of getting your ex to open up to getting back together is by using a push/pull mentality…The basic explanation behind this is the more you pull someone in the more they’ll push you away. This is probably what your ex is doing to you right now… You wanted to pull them back in so they naturally pushed you away.

In order to get back into their minds as an attractive person who is independent and has high value you are going to have to flip the pushing and pulling around… Instead of your ex pushing you away you are going to be the one pushing them away.

The first step to this is simply agreeing with the separation… Just go with it and say the old, OK lets just be friends line and go about your day. It’s important that you distance yourself from your ex because it gives them time to clear their head and just think to themselves…

If you are contacting them all of the time it just puts you in a negative light and they have no time to miss you or think about the good times that they had with you. So agree with the break up and be independent… Go hang out with friends and have fun; it’s even better if it’s with mutual friends that both you and your ex share because your ex will probably be asking about you…

How did you leave your last relationship?

Was it like a train leaving the station or was it more like running from the scene of an accident?

Why do I ask?

Because you now have found that relationship you always hoped you would find. You have found a person with whom you share not only an intense chemistry, but also a truly deep heart and soul connection. You have created an amazing relationship place with this person. You are genuinely and totally happy.

Just when you think nothing can disrupt that amazing relationship place, it happens. Your ex boyfriend or ex girlfriend (we’ll just collectively refer to them as the “ex”) starts contacting you. They start calling you, sending you text messages and leaving you voicemail messages. They want you to give your relationship with them another try.

It’s amazing. Ex’s always seem to find their way back into your life to dump all their issues on you at the very moment when you’re most happy with someone else. It’s like they have a special radar which alerts them that it is the perfect time to try to get you back at the very moment you are in this most happy place.

So what do you do? How do you respond to this crusade to win you back? Many people, out of the best of intentions and out of a residual feeling of caring for their ex, will not be totally honest in how they respond. Not wanting to hurt their ex, many people will either not give their ex a definitive “no” to their request and/or will downplay the depth of their feelings and commitment to their current significant other.

This is not the best way to respond to an ex. Although not intended as such, this kind of “soft pedal” response to an ex actually is damaging to all parties involved as well as to your current relationship. Here are four reasons why you need to be totally open with your ex:

1) Your Ex Will Believe There Is A Chance Until You Tell Them Otherwise: An ex who comes to you after having an “epiphany” wherein they decide they are a new person and that you need to give your relationship with the “new them” a second chance, feel very strongly that their epiphany is a truth. They believe with absolute certainty that what they feel is the right thing for both of you. When you respond to an ex in this situation, then, you must keep any measure of ambiguity out of your response. It is imperative that you are clear.

If you do not respond to an ex’s plea with a very definitive “no,” your ex will continue to believe there is still some chance to convince you to say yes. You need to be totally honest with your ex and tell them that there is no chance that the two of you will get back together. You need to be completely open about the fact that you are not only with someone else, but that you are with someone for whom you have very deep and intense feelings.

2) You Are Not Sparing Your Ex’s Feelings: As I indicated above, you need to be totally upfront and honest with your ex about everything at the first sign that they are seeking to try to reconcile with you. You are doing no one any favors when you “protect an ex’s feelings” by not being totally upfront with them. When you fail to be totally open and honest with your ex, you are not protecting them from hurt. You are instead causing them more hurt because you are not making it clear to your ex that there will be no second chance together.

You need to realize that when an ex decides they need to reconcile with you the minute they discovery you are at your most happy place with someone else, your ex is doing this because in reality they are not happy. Deep down they still have feelings for you, but those feelings are all about their own issues and not about yours. So you need to clearly dispel any thoughts in your ex’s head that their perceived feelings are about you, so that they can see that they need to address their own issues which are the real cause of their unhappiness. To fail to do this will only ultimately cause your ex more hurt down the line.

3) You Are Hurting Yourself: It is also important for you to completely let your past with your ex go in order for you to move forward and have the love that you really deserve. When you allow an ex who has invaded your space to linger there, you are causing yourself a lot of unnecessary hurt and preventing yourself from progressing on your own emotional path.

You already know that your ex is an ex for very important reasons. They’re an ex because you already learned the lesson that they did not satisfy you in ways you needed to be satisfied. They are an ex because your heart was not touched by them in ways your heart needed to be touched. Your ex is an ex because they weren’t able to get into your soul and get deep into your core like you needed. You are with someone currently who does meet all of these needs for you, so you need to completely let your past go so you can concentrate on the person with whom you are developing a true and deep connection.

4) You Are Causing Damage To Your Current Relationship: You need to also remember that each time an ex invades your space, it hurts the sacred space you are forming with the person with whom you are currently in a relationship. The only result for you when an ex invades the sacred space you’ve set up with a new person, is that stress will be brought into your life and your current relationship for no reason at all.

You have met someone with whom you have been developing and experiencing a true soul connection. Allowing your ex to continue to bring stress and pain to you and to your relationship dynamic will inevitably put a strain on the bond you’re building with your significant other. Your current significant other will feel disconnected from you both by your involvement in dealing with your ex, but also in their frustration in being completely unable to help you. There is no reason to allow an ex who will not be a part of your life to affect the amazing connection you have been creating.

So the next time an ex comes into your life when you are happily involved with someone else, you need to be wise in how you respond. You need to be as open and honest with your ex about your feelings about them and about your current relationship as you are with the person you’re currently seeing. The reason you with the person you’re currently seeing is because you feel free to be yourself in the purest form. It is in everyone’s best interest that you do so. So even though it is not always easy, being completely open and honest with an ex is the kindest thing you can do for your ex, for your current relationship and for yourself.

Dog lovers will not be surprised to learn that custody of the family dog is frequently a bone of contention in separation or divorce. However, they may be surprised to learn that Fido is considered personal property under state law, the same as a piano or a favorite piece of jewelry. Many divorcing dog owners disagree with this law and want their dog treated like a child. Courts determine a child’s custody based on what is in the “best interests” of the child. Judges (who may be dog lovers themselves) are often torn between following the law, which treats the animal as an inanimate object, or giving in to the wishes of the parties.

Akers v. Sellers, a 1944 Indiana court case, appears to be the first reported case involving a dispute over a dog in a divorce. John Akers filed a court proceeding to get his Boston bull terrier back from his ex-wife, Stella Sellers. The dog was not mentioned in the divorce decree, and Stella, who kept the family home, ended up with the pet because it lived there. The court said the dog belonged to Stella because it was given to her by John during the marriage. This decision treated the dog like any other gift of personal property.

Sixteen years later, in 1960, in Ballas v. Ballas, a California appellate court refused to consider whether the family Pekingese was community property or separate property, a relevant issue if the dog were being treated as personal property. It agreed with the trial court that Shirley Ballas should have the animal because she was the one who took care of it. This is thought to be the first reported court decision where a court looked to the “best interests” of a pet in deciding who would get custody.

In Arrington v. Arrington, a 1981 Texas case, perhaps in response to Ballas, insisted that dogs are personal property (saying they are not to be confused with humans), but opined that although A. C. Arrington had agreed that his former wife should have custody of the dog, Bonnie Lou, there should be enough love in Bonnie Lou’s heart to allow for visitation with A. C. What dog lover would disagree?

Not long after that, an Iowa appellate court in In re Marriage of Stewart, while agreeing that a dog is personal property, affirmed the trial court award of Georgetta, the family dog, to Jay Stewart. Regardless of the fact that Jay had originally given the animal to his wife, Joan, as a Christmas gift, the court pointed out that Georgetta accompanied Jay to his office and spent a substantial part of the day with him.

In Dickson v. Dickson, in 1994, a Garland County, Arkansas, court entered a consent decree ordering Mr. Dickson to pay $150 per month in dog support in a joint custody arrangement that designated the former Mrs. Dickson as the primary custodian of the animal. The parties later stipulated to a modification of the decree to give the ex-wife sole custody, with her former husband to have no further liability for the expense of the dog’s future care since he no longer had an interest in the animal.

In the case of In re Marriage of Tevis-Bliech, in 1997, the Kansas appellate court affirmed a trial court decision holding that it lacked jurisdiction to modify a divorce settlement agreement that (by contract) gave Michael Bliech visitation with Cartier, the family dog. This left visitation intact.

Although not a published court decision, Dr. Stanley Perkins, an anesthesiologist, and his wife Linda made headlines in San Diego County, California, a few years ago, when they engaged in a two-year dog fight over Gigi, a pointer-greyhound mix they had adopted from an animal shelter. Linda won custody of the dog through such legal theatrics as a canine bonding study prepared by an animal behaviorist and “A Day in the Life” video of Gigi. What was unusual was not only the astronomical legal fees incurred in the fight over Gigi, but the apparent willingness of the judge to listen to it all.

In a recent case in Alaska, the trial court tried a shared ownership arrangement between the divorcing parties and their chocolate Labrador retriever, Coho. When that did not work out, the court gave Stephen Gough custody and Julie Juelfs visitation. When that did not work out, it awarded sole custody to Stephen, meaning no visitation rights for Julie, an arrangement the Alaska Supreme Court upheld in 2002 in Juelfs v. Gough.

In spite of the foregoing cases, most courts seem to balk at entering animal custody orders. In Nuzzaci v. Nuzzaci, in 1995, a Delaware divorce court refused to sign an order agreed to by the parties that included visitation with a golden retriever. The court stated it did not believe it had authority to enforce such an order if the parties later disagreed.

In Bennett v. Bennett, that same year, a Florida appellate court refused to affirm a trial court order giving Kathryn Bennett visitation with the parties’ dog, Roddy, every other weekend and every other Christmas. The appellate court said the lower court had no authority to grant custody or visitation with personal property.

And, in DeSanctis v. Pritchard, the Pennsylvania Supreme Court, in 2003, upheld the dismissal by the trial court of a complaint asking the court to enforce a settlement agreement providing for shared possession of Barney, a mixed-breed golden retriever-golden Labrador. The settlement agreement was held to be void to the extent it attempted to award visitation or shared custody with personal property.

Although custody of the family dog in divorce cases may seem like a trivial issue to some, it is taken very seriously by dog lovers. The Animal Legal Defense Fund has filed amicus curiae briefs in some divorce cases, suggesting that the judge consider the companion animal’s best interest. Public and legal interest in “animal rights” is growing. There are reportedly 42 law schools offering courses in animal law, and at least two legal journals devoted to animal law, with others carrying articles on the subject.

In spite of objections that court dockets are already overburdened with ongoing disputes over the custody, visitation, and support of children, we may be headed for the day when dogs are entitled to their day in divorce court.

Marriage can be difficult. Just trying to make a relationship work during day-to-day life can be tough, and if you throw in the emotional baggage we all have, well, you have a recipe for disaster. Even if you did something stupid and your wife left you, it doesn’t mean that you can’t figure out how to make it work. It just means you need the right recipe to make your marriage better again. Here’s how to show your wife you’ve changed so you can get her back for good.

1. Don’t grovel or beg for a second chance. If you want to get your wife back, you’re going to have to do more than just tell her you will change. You are going to have to show her by your actions that you love her and are willing to do whatever it takes to make your marriage work. That isn’t to say that you shouldn’t apologize if you’ve done something wrong, because you should. But don’t beg and plead with her to listen to you. It will only make the situation worse and push her further away.

2. Change what needs to be changed. It’s time to man-up. If there are things you’ve neglected at work or home, you have to change them. Change them because you want to change them. Don’t just change them to get your wife back, otherwise the changes won’t stick. If your wife left you, she will be watching to see if your actions meet your words before she gives you another chance. So make it a point to do what needs to be done because you want to and because it will be good for your family. Don’t just do it because you want to make her come back to you.

3. Show her that you need her in your life. You have to show your wife that life doesn’t make sense without her. That doesn’t mean buying her candy and flowers and thinking everything will be okay. It means really thinking about what will make your life with her better. What will make both of you happy? If you can concentrate on that, everything else about your relationship will fall into place.