“I slept with him and now he’s ignoring me,” said the woman full of regret and confusion. Wouldn’t it be nice if someone were to explain to us why men chase us like crazy and once we share intimacy, they disappear off the face of the earth? It’s happened to you, hasn’t it? You like him, a lot. Having sex seemed like a great idea so you did and then he ran for the hills as fast as he could. You’ve tried to contact him but he’s full of ready excuses for why he can’t see you again. You’re despondent because you believed he had promise. You hoped and wanted a real relationship with him. If you’re living in this situation now, don’t be too quick to throw in the towel and count him out of your life.

Before you can work at reconnecting with him, you have to face the reality that intimacy changed things dramatically. Many women in your position try to explain away the man’s behavior by thinking that he got very busy after they made love or he is so overwhelmed by desire, that he has to take a step back just so he can breathe. Neither of these is the case at all. He’s ignoring you now because he’s uncomfortable. Chances are very good that he realized that you were intimate with him too early in the relationship and it turned him off.

It’s often hard for a woman to wrap her head around this type of reaction from a man. After all, he was the one who was in hot pursuit of you before you two slept together, right? So how could he possibly find it unappealing once you did? Simple. In his mind if you’re intimate with him that quickly, you’re doing the same thing with every other man you’ve dated.

Moving from that mindset back to being attracted to you again is definitely possible. It’s up to you to make it happen though. You need to grab his interest back. That may seem too challenging given the fact that he’s ignoring you, but there are definite ways.

Start by calling him up and leaving him a voicemail. Make it short and sweet and just say that you’d really enjoy meeting up for coffee or lunch. Don’t sound desperate. Loads of self confidence is the key.

If he doesn’t return the call, send him a text with the same message. If he is still interested at all he’ll respond. Meet with him and keep things very light. Talk about general issues like the weather or what’s happening in the news. Ask him about his work. Smile and laugh. Let him see that you’re able to hold your head up high and move forward after your dating blunder.

Keep all your future meetings carefree and innocent. If he starts to see all the other aspects of your personality shining through he’s bound to find you intriguing all over again. Once enough time has passed and you feel that there’s a strong intellectual connection there, then reintroduce sex into the relationship.

This is the third and final article of a three part series on Autism and Technology. Our focus here is to spotlight a very controversial area which has the potential to impact the lives of millions around the globe. That is, job creation and ultimately will robots replace human workers in the job market of the future. What role will robots play within the future employment arena, and more importantly, how secure is your job status? These are the questions we will address within the context of this emotionally charged topic.

Part III

The intent of this series has been to raise awareness about robotic technology and the speed of development within the field. Our tendency is to view new technology as parallax, but actually we are closer to living in a high-tech reality than we realize. What does all this mean and how will the new world of work look like with robots as an integral part of the landscape? For some, the issue hits closer to home as they contemplate if their job will be eliminated because of technology. The short, and most accurate, response to that question is simply – maybe.

First, it is important to emphasize the fact that there will not be a mass insurrection by robots – as seen in the movies. That is not based in reality primarily because technology really is in its nascent stage. Upon closer examination, we will more likely see a blend of humans working alongside robots. Obviously, we are experiencing this trend at the present time in the automotive, manufacturing, and in some cases the hospitality industries. It is probable the use of robots will expand to health care and segments of the food service fields. In most cases, robots are often the solution involving job openings which are difficult to fill. This seems to occur in industries requiring specialized digital skills or areas that call for rapid paced repetitive tasks. Another key factor influencing the use of robots in industry is simply a matter of economics. Some departments or areas of production are more efficient to operate having robots perform duties once assigned to humans.

The 21ST century worker must be prepared to constantly upgrade skills in order to remain attractive for employers. Companies are seeking individuals who possess digital skills and have the capacity to see the big picture. Some analysts predict developing new skills will be essential to continued career growth in order to keep pace with advancements in technology. This does not mean returning to college for another degree, but adapting a new skill or participating in a one day seminar related to a specific topic in a chosen field. For autistic employees, robots may serve in a complementary role offering assistance in communication and social awareness. The emphasis, however, is on collaboration between humans and machines as a means of maximizing productivity. Sadly, there is a human element contributing to the increased reliance on robotic production that can’t be ignored. That is drug use, particularly opioid addiction, and the devastation it creates on the corporate bottom line. Due to the negative impact of drugs in the workplace, some employers have chosen to automate.

The best strategy for both present and future employment is to sharpen skills and diversify talents to avoid being the proverbial “one trick pony.” One area in need of outstanding talent involves jobs requiring diminishing soft skills that companies love. The ideal employee has the rare combination of excellent technical skills and impeccable people or social skills. Global corporations are craving social skills and are bringing in consultants to teach employees the nuances of communications, professionalism, and the finer points of human interactions. Importantly, these are examples of perfecting the human touch, as opposed to solely focusing on robots. In conclusion, robots will have a designated place in offices and homes in the future, but only we have the innate capacity to be uniquely human.

Trent Reznor, mastermind behind industrial rock group Nine Inch Nails, is no stranger to the realm of Top Songs in the genre of Sexy Rock Music. And if you were to ask anyone who has dipped their head into the rock world for an iota of time, they would be able to come up saying NIN’s “Closer” definitely deserves a spot on any Top 10 list.

But what about Trent’s other bands/projects? What about How To Destroy Angels, the band he shares with his wife, Mariqueen, and friend/collaborator Atticus Ross? What about his soundtracks, also co-composed by Ross? His remixes/covers?

How’s about we dip into less charted territory?

Here’s an example of a playlist utilizing Trent Reznor’s sexy deep cuts:

1. All Time Low (Nine Inch Nails – Hesitation Marks)

Start the ball rolling with this loud mid-tempo funk song, which sounds very akin to “Closer” (Trent even inserts verses from “Closer” when he performs “All Time Low” live). Between the dissonant 70’s style guitar of Adrian Belew, the staccato bass lines of Pino Palladino, and the drugged out arpeggiator at the end of the song, this song takes you on a drunken sexual journey. Good way to start things off.

2. Get Down Make Love (Nine Inch Nails – Sin)

Bring up the angst a bit with Trent’s industrial version of Queen’s deep track from “News of the World”. Produced by Ministry’s Al Jourgensen, Trent’s distorted vocals make him sound all the more desperate and sexually frustrated, completely the opposite of Freddy Mercury’s confident “I’m the provider of all things sexual, now do what I say.” Trent’s take is more “Do what I say??? PLEASE?! BEFORE WE ALL DIE OF BLUE BALLS!!!!”

3. 27 Ghosts III (Nine Inch Nails – Ghosts I-IV)

Keep the angst and noise high. This super deep cut is an instrumental from a series of instrumental EP’s called “Ghosts”. These EP’s were the main reason David Fincher asked Trent and Atticus to score his films. Fincher would put songs from “Ghosts” in the soundtrack of “The Social Network” to test the feel of things, trying to hear what the difference would be between a darker score and a score of more upbeat rock songs from Elvis Costello.

4. Only (El-P Remix) (Nine Inch Nails — Every Day Is Exactly the Same)

This half-timed version of NIN’s hit single “Only” by hip hop artist El-P changes the original disco feel into a super sexually charged schmorgasbord of sweaty beats/turntable effects. Technically not made by Trent, specifically, but shut up. It’s part of the Halo canon (Halos being Nine Inch Nails’ official catalog system). This will totally work in your favor.

5. The Loop Closes (How to Destroy Angels – Welcome Oblivion)

An almost instrumental song, this tune brings electronica and exotic instrumentation together, solidified by another “Closer”-ish beat. A great song that utilizes a rising dynamic throughout, starting soft, it steadily climbs its way into forte (and you should be climbing to your own forte) before releasing its energy and resolving in a blippy electronic pianissimo. It’s also great to hear Trent and his wife riffing together in the vocals.

6. Reptile (Nine Inch Nails – The Downward Spiral)

A classic NIN song from a classic album, but a deep cut, nonetheless. Trent is totally in his element of sexual frustration and loss. Take things to a darker tone (which, considering everything on this playlist is dark, is saying something).

7. Closer (Precursor) (Nine Inch Nails – Closer to God)

I know I said we’d stick to more uncharted territory, so why is “Closer” showing up? Touche. BUT this is a remix done by Coil. If you’ve seen the opening credits to “Se7en” (by the aforementioned David Fincher, no less) then you’ve heard this really great take on NIN’s biggest single. It’s dirty, sludgy, long, and has a slightly more disturbing feel than the original.

8. A Familiar Taste (Trent Reznor and Atticus Ross – The Social Network)

This song is a revisited and altered version of a song from Nine Inch Nails’ “Ghosts” collection. But I like this version better. In the film, “The Social Network”, it plays while Mark Zuckerberg is imagining what happens at all the frat parties he’d like to attend when they invite young college ladies over for a night of drunken, sexual revelry. This song is a good warmer upper for the next track on the list…

9. Vessel (Nine Inch Nails – Year Zero)

I love this track. This truly rivals “Closer”‘s reign of sexiest NIN song of all time. This one’s pumping, throbbing gristle is great for the more violent sexual rompers out there. The noise, the blips, the groove: it’s perfect.

10. Consummation (Trent Reznor and Atticus Ross – Gone Girl)

This one’s dark. The darkest on the list. And it’s last for a reason. I won’t say what happens in the film “Gone Girl”, but this song occurs during its most poignant and violent scene. I would use this song to bring on the climax when it comes to your playlist. The slow pulse, the rising cacophony (it sounds like your speakers are being ripped apart), all lend themselves to the perfect ending (read: orgasm) of your ten song Trent Reznor sex fest.

***11. Sugar Storm (Reprise) (Trent Reznor and Atticus Ross – Gone Girl)

As a bonus, use this song as you come down. It’s short but pleasant to listen to. It also has the perfect major key ending, a great cherry on top of everything you’ve just listened to.***

If you enjoyed this list, check out another example of a sexy rock music playlist that I’ve compiled that doesn’t just use Nine Inch Nails to full effect:

http://www.patchbandmusic.com/sexy-rock-music-top-10-sexy-rock-songs/

But yes, “Closer” might show up near the end.

Batting Tips: Gripping the Bat

Choking Up

Your grip on the bat is going to be anywhere between the knob of the bat (the very bottom) and the top end of the tape or rubber grip before the barrel of the bat. Choking up on the bat means you are moving your hands up further away from the knob and closer to the barrel.

There are reasons for “choking up” and for not “choking up”, and your decision to choke up or not should really depend on the style of a hitter that you are, and how good of a hitter you are, along with the situation when you get into the batter’s box – how many men on base and on which base, how many outs, how many strikes, etc.

The benefit of not choking up is that your swing will generate more power. if you are a homerun hitter, you will often not be choking up. The swing, when not choking up on the bat, is looser and you get more power into it. Also, not choking up means you have a longer bat, giving you the ability to have greater range for hitting outside pitches, or pitches on the outer edge of the plate.

The benefit of choking up is that it stabilizes the bat, as you are holding it closer to the barrel. The bat is not as loose, and the swing is more controlled. As well, it is lightening the bat in your hands, as you are holding it closer to the heavy part of the bat. Being a shorter bat, with your hands higher up, the swing also becomes a quicker swing. When choking up on the bat, you get a more stable swing, you cut out some of the natural wave that happens in the very loose swing of a non-choked up grip, and you are “more likely” to get a base hit.

Even hitters that do not naturally choke up will often choke up when the count runs to two strikes. At that point they are willing to cut some power out of the swing and instead swing to hit the ball and just get on base. Choking up will give them more of that stability and raise their chance of hitting the ball for a base hit.

Some say that instead of choking up, you can accomplish the same benefits by using a shorter bat. The consensus, however, is that the same issues remain even with a shorter bat, and the benefits of choking up are not achieved to the same level by using a shorter bat, unless you choke up on the shorter bat.

Bat Drag and Bat Lag

Bat Drag and Bat Lag are confusing concepts. First of all, Bat Drag is bad and Bat Lag is good.

Let’s start with Bat Drag. Bat Drag is bad. Bat Drag means that you are dragging, or pulling the bat with your arms, and moving the bat by using the hands and arms, rather than holding the hands at the shoulder, and turning the hands and shoulder as one unit.

If you swing with Bat Drag, it doesn’t mean you won’t hit the ball. Bat Draggers can be decent hitters, especially against slower pitching, but your hitting will be so much better if you work on eliminating the drag. By dragging the bat, you are not getting your body mass into the swing, and you are no getting optimal bat speed in the swing.

In a hitter with Bat Drag it is common to see the batter’s elbow of his top hand lead out in front of the knob of the bat. That causes the batter to drag the bat through the zone.

Bat Drag can be caused either by bad mechanics, and running through hitting drills can train the hitter to adjust his grip and stance, and swing to eliminate the drag, or it can be caused by using a bat that is too heavy. In such a case, if the batter switches to use a lighter bat instead he very well might eliminate the drag just like that!

Bat Lag, on the other hand, is good. Bat Lag is when the hitter begins his forward movement with the knob of the bat, without letting the knob drop or sink down first. The knob remains in front of the back elbow, the elbow of the top hand, and then as the knob of the bat moves forward into the hitting zone, the barrel of the bat lags behind it. Eventually, the barrel of the bat is whipped forward through the strike zone.

To hit well, the batters hands HAVE to lead the swing. The hips and the hands drive the swing, not the arms and not the hips and shoulders.

Relationships are based on trust, honesty, openness, clarity, love, commitment and intimacy. If you have had relationships without one or more of those magical ingredients you probably remember that they were not very satisfying or successful. After reading the following article you will understand more about the reasons why developing intimacy is important, especially in an intimate relationship.

Intimate – Intimacy

The word intimate already explains some of those reasons. Intimate means ‘closely acquainted, familiar, close’. Intimate relationships involve very close connection.

Intimacy describes ‘close familiarity or friendship, closeness’ and often refers to the intimate act of sexual intercourse.

Given the meaning of those two words, we now start to get a glimpse of the importance of intimacy. It must be present and therefore developed in a relationship right from the beginning. Without it, we would have no real closeness or familiarity, which is one of the basic human needs, especially in relationship.

Developing intimacy is important because:

…it create a safe environment:

When we develop intimacy we create a safe environment that allows vulnerability, being able to be one self and be accepted as that.

…it allows openness:

Once we feel safe, we allow ourselves to be more and more open with our partner. Sharing each other’s most personal secrets bring us closer together.

…it goes hand in hand with building trust:

The more we trust someone the closer we let them come. Trust enables you to relax in the relationship which subsequently opens you up to even more intimacy

…it makes you come closer:

Even though it is possible to have sexual relationship with not much intimacy most of you have experienced the beauty of intimate closeness, where you melt into each other’s presence. Real intimacy allows you to be closer on a level that is beyond the physical.

…it contributes to the duration of the relationship:

In my therapeutic work with couples I have not yet seen a long-term relationship without any form of intimacy, closeness, familiarity. The soul of a relationship will die without intimacy.

Remember that being physically intimate and having frequent sex does not necessarily mean that you live in a relationship with deep intimacy. Intimacy develops over time and has less to do with sexual satisfaction than with deep meaningful human inter-relation.

If your current relationship is lacking intimacy you will notice this as ‘something is missing’. You might want to read the article called: 10 Ways to Develop Intimacy in Your Relationship.

A problem that is has many people worried about kissing or even showing their face in public or on a date is lip eczema. This rare form of eczema is scientifically known as angular chelitis, which is known for being responsible for symptoms that involve chapped and dry lips that can become swollen without warning. Although lip eczema appears gross and almost like a communicable disease, lip eczema is not contagious although it sometimes appears like a herpes, a communicable disease that is contagious. Additionally, this form of itchy skin condition is unique from herpes in that it only usually appears on the part of the mouth where the skin meets with the outside of the lip as opposed to herpes simplex where the outbreak can occur even within the inside of the mouth.

Persons that deal with this chronic problem fall into a couple of categories. Heredity is a major factor because if there is a genetic disorder of dealing with this problem that is pervasive in your lineage there is a high likelihood that eczema will follow. People that constantly lick their lips, have bad fitting dentureres, or are allergic to certain food groups can also develop this problem. Avoiding certain foods such as peanuts, soy, eggs, and orange juice can be a great start towards avoiding further breakouts. Always use lip balm with SP-15 as a main ingredient as this will ensure that your lips retain moisture while guaranteeing also that you will not touch or scratch your inflamed lips. Scratching this area will sometimes lead to infection and spreading of the disease.

After you have tried to identify why lip eczema symptoms are prevailing, it’s important to pursue methods that will heal your lips and stop the feeling of being ashamed. While there are several options to explore that have varying degrees of success, before you invest in any treatment, make sure you look at natural remedies. Natural remedies can save your liver from being destroyed while preserving your life expectancy.

One of the best remedies is to switch to natural products that are paraben free and formaldehyde free which is better for both the skin and lips. A constant application of natural lip balm with SP-15 on a daily basis can relieve the swelling and irritation while moisturizing the lips at the same time. Lip balm with SP-15 is available through Melaleuca and several health food stores, and is not very costly.

Avoidance techniques also seem to work great in fighting lip eczema. Ascertaining products that we routinely use on our lips such as lip gloss and lip stick which is high in fragrance has shown to work quite well in helping lip eczema.

Additionally, not biting the lips and drinking plenty of water has shown to work quite well in the fight for our lips. It appears that the combined effort of ensuring that the lips do not become dry through constantly biting and hydrating the body with plenty of water makes the skin on the lips regenerate new skin at a higher rate.

There are a wealth of options to explore that are natural. Look for natural remedies and healing solutions before you invest in harsher options that involve steroids. It’s also not to itch or bite your lips at all because this will almost undoubtedly mean that your lip eczema will linger and never go away; only get worse.

Despite hardship, persecution, calamity or trouble,

What Jesus has done means we are never to worry,

Nothing evil can do will ever burst Jesus’ bubble,

So never give in to temptation to give up in a flurry.

***

Back in my AA days I recall the teaching on the Two Great Pests: worry and indecision. I tried always to steer clear of those two and for the latter part of my life I’ve succeeded for the most part.

There are Two Great Truths that I feel God wishes for me to share with you; that I’m conscious of as I write: 1) The lonelier you are the closer he is. 2) The more you respond in love when you wish to give up, the more God will show you just how close he is. The first requires simple acknowledgement by faith; to hold to the truth. The second requires persistence in response; to love when you don’t feel like it, despite the lack of evidence of payback. Both require such significant faith, which is behaviour that goes against what we are experiencing. Faith, therefore, comes into its own when we continue to trust, despite God seeming like he’s plain not there!

THE LONELIER YOU ARE THE ‘CLOSER’ GOD IS

I use inverted commas for ‘closer’ simply because God never changes; he is ever close to us, present everywhere. So, to say “the ‘closer’ God is” is really saying “the ‘closer’ God is by our experience.”

The truth is the lonelier we get, the more desperate we are for God to visit us by his Presence. There is generally always a message or a messenger that God uses to prove to us that he is never closer (by our experience).

See how it is that the worse things get – the lonelier we are – the better they turn out – for God will show us in miraculous ways how very ingenious he is in getting our attention.

RESPOND IN LOVE AND GOD WILL SHOW HIMSELF

“At the proper time” the above heading should say; at the proper time, God will show himself by our experience. God is never late. God never does the wrong thing. So we can trust God’s perfect timing for everything.

As we cast a refreshing eye over 1 Corinthians 13 we find that love is the response that the Spirit of God wants to see urgently through us, especially when we are exhausted in lonely brokenness.

As we respond to the worst things by patience, kindness, meekness, selflessness, rejoicing in the truth; by bearing things, by believing him, by holding onto hope, and by enduring even this; we are transformed by the renewing of our minds.

***

The lonelier we are, the more broken and confused we become, the more God is ready to make himself known in that lonely brokenness.

© 2014 S. J. Wickham.

When I moved to Kamloops, British Columbia in 1982, I was just a rookie at fly fishing but I had heard that this was the mecca of bc fly fishing for rainbow trout. I talked to my boss about lakes in the area and he has a couple of incredible stories of huge fish breaking his rod, stealing his line and causing him heartache. I thought, “I’d like that kind of heartache”. He was referring to Pass Lake. Back then it was considered a trophy lake of considerable stature. Access was a very poor 4×4 road, there were 2 launches – neither of which were much good.

Some things have changed over the years. You don’t need a 4×4 to get to Pass anymore. Since logging was opened up further to the north, the road has been upgraded and is somewhat maintained. There is only one boat launching area but it is better than it ever was. There is a substantial forestry campground with firepits and outhouses. The regulations have changed slightly to accommodate the increased pressure due to improved access. And there are Triploids. Oh baby!

This treasure of a lake is located about 25 kms north of Kamloops on the Lac du Bois road. The drive to and from Pass Lake is majestic in itself as you migrate and transition through about 4 geo-climatic zones. First, you wind your way up through the rugged desert hills of sagebrush and tumbleweed of Lac du Bois Provincial Park. Next are the productive grasslands of bunchgrass, juniper and home to grazing cattle and deer. As you approach Lac du Bois itself, the terrain becomes more parkland, rolling pastures dotted with shallow duck ponds, deciduous trees and dryland douglas fir. Finally you arrive into an interior forest of fir, pine, spruce and poplar. I must say that the view offered during the scenic drive home is a fine reward or consolation even on the least productive days of fishing.

Pass Lake has always been a moody lake. It rarely gives up a day when fish zero in on your fly all day long like it’s going to be their last meal. I have been skunked many a time. For the persistent fisherman, it does produce handsome rewards. It’s one of those lakes that has two types of fish. Little ones and big ones. The little ones will tease you while they are under 12″. Then they get hungry and are rarely seen until they are 20″ or bigger. There is always a reasonable expectation to catch a trophy sized fish and that’s what keeps me coming back.

I have found that late May, early June and Sept / Oct are the best times to hit Pass. It can be productive during the summer months but you may have to brave the dark in the late evening or pull your butt out of bed very early in the morning.

The lake is surrounded with productive marl shoals and dropoffs. The late May chironomid hatches can turn the fish into ravenous hunters amongst an aluminum hatch of small boats. I have seen times when 5 or 6 fisherman had fish on all at the same time in a 250 metre long stretch of shoal on the north side of the lake.

Perhaps the most prolific hatch at Pass Lake is that of the mayfly, starting in late May and culminating in mid-June. The key is to fish them with a floating line as they migrate toward the surface to emerge as adults. Another food staple that produces large fish is the leech. The lake has a healthy population of leeches and fishing this pattern throughout the season can be very productive.

As I said earlier, this lake is moody. It’s one of those lakes that you may not have a bite all day but you still feel that next time it will be your day. It’s part of the mystque and lure of Pass Lake.

Pass Lake was the first lake that I fished in the Kamloops area that I knew, one day, I would catch a big fish. It took 3 visits before I hooked a big one and now I have been forever smitten. The lure of trophy fish captures my soul and I make Pass Lake my destination of choice many times each season.

Revo sunglasses are well-known to have quite a bit of technology in them. In terms on materials used, Revo sunglasses are made from environmentally friendly materials which are light and as durable as conventional materials used for the manufacture of frames. Another plus point for Revo glasses are their designs, which are simply awesome.

But the part of Revo glasses that makes the headlines are the lenses. They are super clear and are touted as the most advanced polarized sunglasses in the world. Superb lenses combined with durability make Revo glasses standard equipment for explorers, adventurers, photographers and basically everybody else with a cool outdoor job.

But what exactly goes into these lenses that make them so special?

Polarization Like No Other

Sunlight and reflection can seriously distort vision especially on surfaces like open water and snow. Revo sunglasses have Revo’s High Contrast Polarized lenses which provide visual acuity in such situations. What these lenses do is selectively filter the color bands to only allow the natural spectrum of color to come through clearly and without distortion.

Anything that improves clarity, reduces strain on the eyes and brain, thus reduces fatigue on both these parts. With clearer, undistorted vision, you will find that the world appears a lot differently. Most of the time, that is a good thing.

Super Durable Serilium Lenses

Many people swear by these lenses, especially those in the thrill and adventure seeking line.

Serilium lenses are made from a type of polycarbonate, manufactured in such a way that it not only provides exceptional clarity, it also extremely light and very strong. Serilium is said to be the only form of polycarbonate strong enough to take impacts from flying gravel.

I personally think that no one should be in a situation where there is gravel flying around. But it is nice to know that at least your eyes would be protected.

Infusion Molding

Layers are bad when it comes to lenses because it affect your vision. The more layers there are between your eyes and what you are viewing, the higher the chances of visual distortion and reduced optical accuracy.

Fortunately, Revo sunglasses Serilium lenses uses a process called infusion molding, as opposed to gluing layers to its lenses. This process creates a single lens without any layers.

The main benefit of this process are lenses which are so optically accurate and clear that they surpass industry standards in clarity, position and refraction tests. Another plus point is that since the polarization is infusion molded into the lens, you can be rest assured that, it cannot at any time, be worn or scratched off.

How comfortable are you with expressing your feelings to your man? Does he sometimes judge you for being too emotional and shuts down?

Men yearn to melt, to experience the feeling world through us. Men are drawn to us because we give them a chance to know themselves and open their hearts. To fully open he needs to feel safe, nurtured and excited in a relationship. Polarity between masculine and feminine energy is the most important factor in maintaining excitement in a relationship. What makes us different from men? Our feminine loving hearts and a huge spectrum of our feelings.

The secret here is not to have an agenda when talking about your feelings- don’t try to change him or affect him in some way. And definitely don’t try to blame him for what he’s done. It’s more about going inside and expressing what’s true for you, saying what you feel as if you are talking to yourself.

For example, if you feel angry and hurt that he came late and didn’t take you out for dinner as promised, don’t start blaming him and making big statements such as ‘you are always late, you never care about me, you never loved me’. This drives a man nuts, he feels like he totally failed and can’t really change anything now. He takes your words literally and thinks that your whole relationship was a waste of time and there was nothing good for you in it. Statements like these devastate a man and make him feel weak or angry. He might withdraw and it will only hurt your relationship.

Instead, assume that he had a good reason to be late, whatever it is. Assume that he always has a good intention, maybe he was working late trying to earn more money for you and in his view taking care of you, maybe he really needed to be with his friends to renew his energy and be a strong man for you. But you have all the right to feel hurt, don’t suppress it. Tell him ‘I was so hoping to go out with you, I missed you and now I feel hurt and angry.’ Because if you didn’t miss him you wouldn’t feel hurt. And say this more to yourself, as a statement of your feelings to yourself, without blaming him. This is just how things are. If he becomes defensive and asks ‘What do you want me to do with this?’ just say ‘I don’t know, that’s how I feel’. If you are truly just expressing your feelings without putting any blame on him, he won’t be able to resist and come hugging you.

I know this requires a lot of courage to be so vulnerable, but this is the way to relax into your feminine power and become very attractive to your man. I assure you, this is not a weakness, this is your feminine power. And anyway, did the old blaming way work?

Just imagine how wonderful it would feel to be with a man who cherishes and adores you, who gives you his whole heart and doesn’t withhold his love from you. And the wonderful thing is, all you need to do is relax and open up to him by fully expressing your feelings, without trying to impress or manipulate him. When you own your feelings and are able to express them without getting into drama or trying to achieve something, your man will start to feel safe to express his own feelings and open up to you. Once he is open, he’ll take you deep inside himself and will be very unwilling to let you go.