Let’s face it: No one likes to be “labeled;” but whether we’d like to believe it or not, a majority of us fall into some stereotypical category that packages our most prominent personality traits. This is especially true and extremely recognizable when it comes to men. In an ideal world, every Tom, Dick or Harry that caught our interest would magically be equipped with a warning label: a brief insight to their inner workings that would somehow reveal to us the type of person they really were. Unfortunately, this isn’t an ideal world; men don’t sport warning labels; you still can get pregnant if you have sex standing up; and junk food will make you fat. No need to panic though! Although life can seem misleading at times, that doesn’t mean men have to seem that way, too.
The following classifications exemplify eight of the most common demeanors prevalent among men in today’s “Generation X” dating pool. Each example sheds light upon the various mindsets that are consequent of a particular type of guy. Read on to find out how much of a “threat” these personas pose towards your emotional stability, as well as the best tactics for dealing with them.
1. “The Nice Guy”
This is the guy that you want to bring home to mom. He has all of the “good” characteristics girls want in a guy. Above all, he is the type of guy you feel bad you’re not attracted to. He tends to be “too nice” and is usually a bit extreme. His looks range from fair to attractive, yet his self-promoting nature takes even the best looking nice guy from a 10 to a 5.
Pros: A pleasant change of pace at first, this type knows how to treat a woman and is every bit of a gentleman. He is completely taken with you and wants nothing more than to make you happy. He puts effort into the relationship and is very respectable.
Cons: Although affectionate and sweet, the nice guy tends to be overbearing and slightly emotional for a male. He gets attached very quickly and eventually becomes annoying with his persistence. His intentions are good but if you’re not ready to undertake this type of guy- jump ship early and save time for the both of you.
How to deal: Don’t lead him on. If you are not into him, do what it takes to let him know that it’s not going to work out. Most importantly, don’t let him make you feel guilty for not choosing him. Just because he looks good on paper doesn’t mean that he is good for you.
2. “The Jock”
The jock tends to be one of the most challenging competitors in the dating game (even to the most unbridled females.) He spends the majority of his time either a) at the gym, b) with his “boys” or c) watching sports. He likes a challenge and is usually responsive to resistance. His manners tend to be lacking and although he may have a killer physique, he is not much for in-depth conversations. This type of guy tends to be a lazy dater.
Pros: Contrary to his manly essence, the jock does possess a sensitive side which makes the connection to him that much more engaging. He is fun to be around and nice to look at. His challenging nature makes him a constant mystery, which keeps the attraction meter to this creature at peak levels.
Cons: The number one complaint with this breed of male is that he is incapable of delegating his attention between women and his guy friends. His buddies always take priority over the woman in his life, causing him to be a constant let down to you.
How to deal: When he is ready to commit, he will commit. Don’t waste your time analyzing this variety; they tend to be very selfish. Plus, you’ll be the one laughing in twenty years when he is overweight and single, hanging out at local bars trying to pick up chicks with his comb-over and “plumber-crack.”
3. “The Grad Student”
In short, the grad student is the intelligent guy you enjoy talking to. He is a change from the rest of the guys and is nice to converse with. He is smart and focused and is usually a well-rounded person. However, his hectic lifestyle causes his free time to be limited.
Pros: He has direction in life and is extremely ambitious. He is good company to keep on almost any day of the week. Although he isn’t too crazy when it comes to partying, he still knows how to have a good time.
Cons: Since the grad student has numerous priorities ahead of you, it is difficult to know where you stand. He tends to makes himself distant and can be socially inept at times; and although having homework as a higher priority isn’t entirely a bad thing, it is something that needs to be considered when assessing the situation.
How to deal: If this person shows any signs of resistance, move on. This type of guy isn’t going to spend time on a relationship unless he thinks it’s the right one. Bottom line: If he’s not reciprocating his efforts, don’t force it.
4. “The Free Spirit”
Often under the guise of a writer, a musician or a hippie, this is the life-loving individual who epitomizes the word non-conformist. He is the type that enjoys constant change and the challenge of managing that change. His beatnik nature and untrammeled lifestyle make this type of person instantly appealing.
Pros: His down-to-earth disposition and attentive nature make him enjoyable to spend time with. Conversations with this brand have a tendency to be engaging and complex. He inspires you to think in unconventional ways and is constantly leaving you in awe.
Cons: Although his attitude towards life seems hopeful, he has a tendency to be apathetic. He is difficult to understand and more often than not, his behavior is contradictory. His hypocritical ways can be both bothersome and disheartening.
How to deal: Let him come to you. This is the type of person that makes it easy to intuit whether or not he is into you, for this type of guy tends to favor the idea of companionship and love. Trust your intuition.
5. “The Metrosexual”
According to Mark Simpson, by definition, a metrosexual is “a straight man who styles his hair using three different products (and actually calls them ‘products’), loves clothes and the very act of shopping for them, and describes himself as sensitive and romantic.” In other words, this is the guy that you can’t really tell if he’s in or if he’s out. He is always in style and well groomed and prefers to indulge himself in the finer things in life. His body is his temple and he (not you) is the object of his own affection.
Pros: The metrosexual is just like having a gay friend. He likes to watch movies and is fun to hang out with. He always smells good and knows how to treat others. Besides having a lot in common with him, you enjoy spending time with him.
Cons: With so many similarities to this creature (after all, he is half female), his neuroticism makes him difficult to take seriously. His circle of friends is dominated by females, causing you to feel uncomfortable and inadequate at times. His interest in you is inconsistent and you often find yourself in competition with him because, well, he’s prettier than you; not to mention, he looks better in a pair of jeans than you do.
How to deal: Limit your time with him. He’s fun to hang out with on occasion, but is not worth analyzing and definitely not worth losing sleep over (don’t forget- it is entirely possible that he could officially be gay.) So sorry.
6. “The Bad Boy”
This is the guy that you don’t want to bring home to mom. He is unbridled, unsettled and not secure in a job. As for morals-he doesn’t have any. He is the type of person that will put you down or stand you up just to look good in front of his friends. Relationships with this type are often short-lived whirlwinds.
Pros: He is a lot of fun to hang out with and is always up for partying. He lets you unleash your wild side and is a change of pace from the norm. His “living on the edge” mentality is inspirational to an extent, for it forces you to take risks.
Cons: His untrammeled mindset makes it nearly impossible for this person to commit. Often a womanizer, he has an appetite for destruction and isn’t concerned about hurting other people’s feelings. He is untrustworthy and uncaring when it comes to others.
How to deal: Have fun while it lasts, but know that it’s not going to last for long. Don’t let yourself become too involved with this rebel. Just remember, you’re not the only one he’s dating.
7. “The No Commitment Guy”
The no commitment guy tends to be excellent at manipulation. His diction is rhetoric, knowing all to well how to use words to his advantage. He likes to have the perks of a relationship but never really wants to commit and isn’t comfortable with “a title.” He’s the guy that you have a good physical relationship with but can just as easily fight with. You are never sure where you stand with this guy which can be detrimental to your emotional health.
Pros: He is usually well put together, a hard worker, and someone that can be just as much of a chill person as he is a partier. For this reason, you never know what to expect with him which keeps this “relationship” new and exciting.
Cons: It is hard to take this type of guy seriously. He is often sarcastic and in many cases, shows hidden signs of infidelity. He is not always reliable and is usually selfish.
How to deal: Keep a safe distance. This is the “out of sight out of mind” type of guy. Let him prove himself worthy. If he fails the test, then I guess it wasn’t meant to be.
8. “The Ready for Marriage Guy”
Often in his mid-to-late 20s, this over-anxious fellow is goal oriented and tends to fall quickly. He is very persistent and manipulative in his own way. It is important to be very choosey with your words when talking to this guy-he takes everything to heart. The topics of his conversation tend to involve future plans (revolving around the status of the relationship of course), which can make you feel uncomfortable if you’re not on the same page.
Pros: He is fun to spend time with and makes you feel good about yourself. He is usually easy to open up to which makes you feel comfortable with him a majority of the time.
Cons: More often than not, he tends to be the jealous type. His penchant for PDA reinforces his insecure ways as he can become very annoying on a surface level. If you do not share his same ideals, his suffocating nature will leave you gasping for air and running in the other direction.
How to deal: Honesty is the best policy with him. Learn to be upfront with him before he’s down on bended knee – or better yet – before he Photoshops both of your faces to see what your kids would look like.
While many men may wear more than one of these “labels,” the bottom line is the same: Be a smart dater. Remember; while mistakes are inevitable in the dating world, stupid mistakes can usually be avoided.
