Reinventing Yourself after Cancer
There has been a lot written about the emotional and physical effects of being diagnosed with Cancer. The turmoil on a person and the family is overwhelming. But I am going to write an article about the light at the end of the Cancer tunnel and highlight how you can reinvent yourself after Cancer. I do not believe anyone who has gone through a Cancer diagnosis would ever want to go through it again, or even think it was a good thing. However, some wonderful lessons can be learned that can make a sweet shift in life.
It was August of 2006 and I was on a trip to Basel Switzerland to get a tour of the city and pick out our housing. I had just had my final interview with Novartis Pharmaceuticals, for my dream job. I was getting ready in the Basel Hotel to go for a walk around the old city with my husband when I began to bleed. Not a little, something that frightened me. I put it out of my head finished our trip and returned home. The offer for the job was accepted and we began our plans to move from Newburyport MA to Switzerland. I knew I would be working hard, but also had plans of drinking fine wine, eating chocolate, lots of food and hiking it off with my 3 year old son and husband. I was about to have an adventure of another sort. At the same time as packing the house, I was following up with the Doctor. We scheduled a colonoscopy 1 week before our move. Our house was packed and I already had a scheduled meeting to attend in Switzerland. I awoke from the anesthesia hungry and ready for a burger. Plans change and mine changed quickly. The doctor told me “we found something, you have Cancer” Of course I was horrified, but still quite unaware of what that all truly meant. They still had to do a biopsy and other tests to stage the cancer. I was later diagnosed with stage 3 rectal cancer. Treatment was to begin ASAP. There would be no Switzerland.
I am now going to fast forward through about 1000 emotions, thoughts, ER visits and 3 surgeries to September of 2007. Hip hip hooray, I was finished with treatment. My re-inventing was about to begin. I quickly fell back into my old ways. I knew I was getting better when I yelled at my husband about leaving dishes in the sink (he is a mid-night snacker) I also started working long hours and stressing about little things. I put cancer right out of my head, until my 3 month appointments to the Oncologist. Do not get me wrong I like my Oncologist, but I also dreaded my visits with him. I was 2 years post diagnosis, I had good news, my scans looked good. I was chatting with another patient and he mentioned someone who’s cancer had come back. That is when as Oprah would say “I had my ahha moment”. It took me looking into someone else’s life to see that I was not learning any lessons. Did I even believe in such a thing? Does life throw lessons at us? The next day I got up took my now 5 year old to pre-school and decided I wanted a change. I think Cancer had decided that for me 2 years previous, but I am a slow learner. I went home and told my husband I wanted to make greeting cards. I am sure some of you reading this have heard of chemo brain. My husband thought I was having a delayed reaction.
My little boy is now almost 6, I have had clean scans for 3 years and I have a very small, some might call tiny greeting card company. I still catch myself stressing and getting up super early to work or working on a Saturday, but now I spend every afternoon with my son. I also have found a job I absolutely love! It feels good to learn something new and have fun doing it.
